Don't Be Presumptuous

Don't Be Presumptuous

Allow me to borrow this post by Ghost Girl @ Quora.com last August 1st.  A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job and the officer starts to test her.  OFFICER:  What's 2+2?  In a blink, the blonde blurts '4'!  OFFICER:  What's the square root of 100?  In a second, blonde says '10'!  Then, OFFICER asks:  WHO KILLED ABRAHAM LINCOLN?  Blonde says 'I DUNNO'.  OFFICER then says:  WELL YOU CAN GO HOME, THINK ABOUT IT, COME BACK TOMORROW'.  The blonde goes home and calls up one of her BFFs who asked her if she got the job?  Blonde proudly proclaims:  I'M ALREADY WORKING ON A MURDER CASE !  Oh my, Don't Be Presumptuous📌📌📌

Indeed, PRESUMPTION is so powerful and for the most part, unchallenged.  Let's look back, all those public declarations of LOVE, the suitor WHO makes his marriage proposal atop the peak of the mountain, OR that one who announces in primetime TV or at a bigtime sporting event his declarations of LOVE.  These are all public spectacles based on the PRESUMPTION that everyone else should be as excited, happy and agog as you are about to push your romantic life to the next level✅✅✅

Much as we DON'T begrudge people who prefer to profess their joyfulness with all that aplomb, I personally do begrudge them for their PRESUMPTION that their values are also mine, something that is NOT shared by default though.  Some examples of PRESUMPTUOUSNESS may be minor or small ones but they add up.  But without sounding that critical, I was wondering if we manifest things more consistently across💎💎💎

Like, if we were going to cheer for one persons anticipation of wedlock, WHY can't we applaud that other person who just bought her/his first home?  OR the person who is taking care of his aging parent while multi-tasking at work?  The latter example may sound strange BUT isn't that exactly a more noble commitment than that promise to marry?  All things being equal, it still makes a lot of sense for us NOT to be PRESUMPTUOUS in life because given all the probabilities in life, nothing is really cast in stone💊💊💊

Now, who says to be PRESUMPTUOUS is much more a serious than mistakes that happen innocently?  Discussed profoundly, PRESUMPTUOUSNESS may likely lead to a strife but again, wisdom belongs to those who seek advice.  When it becomes so obvious that we have acted PRESUMOPTUOUSLY, we may end up embarrassed. humiliated OR even worst.  Factually speaking, studies have shown that PRESUMPTUOUS acts frequently DON'T TURN OUT WELL.  So, here's hoping it is NOT a hard-sell for us to encourage everyone NOT to be PRESUMPTUOUS, else we might end up TOAST❗❗❗

Treading on Eggshells?

Treading on Eggshells?

Theoretically, this is hogwash.  No such thing as us Treading on Eggshells but in real life, YES we do and we are Treading on Eggshells.  What this exactly refers to are circumstances or situations where you need to literally TREAD so cautiously, so carefully, so lightly so as NOT to 'ruffle feathers', hurt some 'sensitive nerves' or strain a relationship that is teetering and on the brink of weakening or even totally breaking up❗❗❗

As much as no one calls them 'EGGSHELL relationships', that is what they turn into.  Relationships where you have to tread lightly.  Imagine each day when you wake up, you are figuratively having to walk on EGGSHELLS because your partner/spouse behaves or acts all too frequently with a 'constellation of traits' that seem toxic as a whole❎❎❎

And when someone seems to be so TOXIC that you have to be ever careful around them, lest they lash out at you, that is a situation that needs to be reassessed because those bellwether signs all point to emotional instability.  And when we bear witness to these situations, it does give us an insight as regards those suffering with such behaviors.  True, one word or one behavior does NOT make for a TOXIC personality.  BUT what if such exceptions recur over time❓❓❓

BITTER, CLINGY, CONTROLLING, DENIGRATING, HYSTERICAL, IRRITABLE, MASOCHISTIC, NASTY, RESENTFUL, SUFFOCATING, TORNADO, UNFORGIVING, VIOLENT.  We can go on and on but these behavioral symptoms hardly scratch the surface.  Yet if you are going through any of these, indeed you're TREADING ON EGGSHELLS💎💎💎

While all of the above behaviors is NOT a part of a 'DIAGNOSTIC TOOL', if someone is manifesting a combination of this sampling of traits, very very likely we are looking at someone who is emotionally unstable and THEY NEED HELP.  And this when and where we can pull a 'positive spin', counsel and talk to that person we're concerned, enlightening him/her that a turnaround in his/her behavior would mutually do wonders and avoid a situation to spin from bad to worse.  We just DON'T want you to be TREADNG ON EGGSHELLS📌📌📌

Progressing Versus Regressing

Progressing Versus Regressing

Progressing Versus Regressing, such a boring thread to eat up our time?  No sir, as much as PROGRESSING and REGRESSING are poles apart, there a huge gap between them because it seems almost everyone of us is constantly sharply aware of PROGRESSING but REGRESSING?  Who cares anyway.

PROGRESSING?  Everyone is too quick and precise when things are PROGRESSING?  When our school grades are going up, when our salary is creeping up, when our customer commendations are becoming more and more, when [finally] successfully settle down to start off our family, when we finally have our first car, albeit a second hand one, when we finally have a home we can call our own because we finally got our own property, albeit mortgaged💎💎💎

BTW, when we're just novices and raw straight from school, progressing seems more apparent [and we LOVE it].  You didn't even need to track it because it would seem Lady Luck is on your side, where successes come with less effort, where successes seems a foregone thing to happen.  NOT until once we do begin to stumble down⏳⏳⏳

Then, NOT by a twist of fate, progressing seems less frequent and getting tougher than it was in the past.  Reaching that point in life where every WIN is a hard-earned one, we CAN'T be blamed to end up like cynical and be pessimists of every single opportunity you have at hand.  NOT because you're incapable of BUT rather because you're then losing momentum❗❗❗

In a nutshell, much as we pat your backs and continue to egg you to keep up that 'WINNING STREAK' of your progression, be sharply watchful once REGRESSION creeps in because it will HAPPEN because it will HAPPEN.  I have to thank myself because I managed to detect my REGRESSION and quickly arrested that skid by CORRECTING my WRONGS because all along, I knew that if my REGRESSION runs unabated, that deep hole will swallow me💊💊💊

When Was The Last Time You BROKE NEW GROUND?

When Was The Last Time You BROKE NEW GROUND?

When Was The Last Time You BROKE NEW GROUND?  Seriously, this is NOT an inquisition.  Neither is this a demand.  BUT in life, we all agree that after you have reached your PIT STOP and achieved on a milestone, you deserve a RESPITE, a BREAK and more than that, you deserve that 'MINI' milestone celebratory pause from your normal frenetic pace.  I patted many folks on their back for their various achievements within a milestone.  And we understand that no matter how minor or negligible a milestone achievement may be, we do deserve that celebratory pause.  I myself i did WALK THE TALK since time immemorial till to date.  I never look the other way around whenever I had a milestone achievement📌📌📌

BUT not to dampen those celebrations because after all, our brains are built to remember NEGATIVES more than POSITIVES.  That's NEGATIVE BIAS.  And remembering the POSITIVES takes extra effort BUT we got to realize that those POSITIVES build our self-esteem.  And by renewing our self-esteem, we build HOPE and MOTIVATION for our future.  What is missed out or overlooked often [and I did miss that out several times in the past], After all the celebrations and congratulations, drawing attention to the feeling that accompanies success is as important than celebrating success itself💊💊💊

WHY?  The answer gets to why focusing is even important in the first place.  The purpose of FOCUS is NOT just to get things done [although that is what most people will say [if you ask them].  But in the BIG PICTURE, the task will either get done or NOT, and life will go on either way.  You may get the A's or the B's or even worse.  BUT there are consequences that flow from those outcomes that can be important to the circumstances of our future life✅✅✅

Once we achieve or accomplish something within a milestone, it is NOT just the external rewards and consequences that matter.  It is also the internal sense of satisfaction and pride.  Knowing that you can and did do well is important.  And one reason why it is that important is because it will help build further SUCCESSES in the future❗❗❗

And that explains why I'm nagging you now, egging you to BREAK NEW GROUND no less.  So, WHY should you BREAK NEW GROUND?  Simple.  You have yet to achieve your ULTIMATE and FINAL goal in life.  Lest you forget, you're still in one of your PIT STOPS💎💎💎

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Looks Can Be Deceiving but this is NOT a new realization because this thing is as old as I am.  However, I came across this from Quora.com wherein there's this 'grumpy' old WWII veteran surnamed Mr Buck who went on a daily basis at LUBY's, a cafeteria style restaurant in Texas.  For seven straight years, Mr Buck religiously went to LUBY's and ordered his meals and earlier on, various restaurant workers tried to serve him on rotation❗❗❗

BUT he was such one of the toughest customer such that all the restaurant workers at LUBY's would prefer to attend to other chores rather than serve him.  EXCEPT for one named Melina Salazar who, for seven straight years, dutifully served him despite all his fault-finding, his grumpiness and his high demands and expectations from whatever he ordered.  Like his sandwhich, it should be hot straight from the microwave.  Like the steaks, it has to be sizzling right in front of him✅✅✅

Across all seasons for seven years, Salazar never missed out serving Mr Buck not just with the decorum and body language expected by Mr Buck but with his very high standards of expectations in his ordered meals.  All of the colleagues of Salazar were surprised with Salazar's stretched patience in serving Mr Buck BUT none of them envied Salazar.  They thought serving Mr Buck will likely spoil their day at work until one day after seven years, Mr Buck did NOT show up at LUBY's anymore. And that worried Salazar.  Come next day, still, Mr Buck DIDN'T show up.  On the third day, Salazar decided to buy a local newspaper and went straight to the Obituary.  And right away, he saw Mr Buck's obituary information, having died three days ago.  Her heart really sunk deep📌📌📌

A week later, Salazar received am unexpected call from a lawyer who introduced himself as Mr Buck's lawyer tasked to contact her in view of Mr Buck's WILL.  So when they met, the lawyer explained that Mr Buck willed that his favorite car + $50k will be given to Ms Salazar.  After she recovered from this shocking surprise, she accepted it, realizing that the old WWII veteran Mr Buck indeed appreciated and even reciprocated her for all her services to him.  So would you agree LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING❓❓❓

So indeed, LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING.  One day that time I was working @Shell Oil, when I stood up from my office desk cubicle, my colleague across happened to stand up as well and he asked me, WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?  And I didn't waste time, I rushed to the Men's Room and realized that by default, I seem to be frowning but that DIDN'T change me or my persona.  Till to date, I always agree that indeed LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING💊💊💊

That RAZOR EDGE Between Winning And Losing

That RAZOR EDGE Between Winning And Losing

Everyone loves WINNERS and who loves LOSERS [except oneself and your immediate family support]?  But we have to agree that The RAZOR EDGE Between Winning And Losing is a fact and NOT a fallacy.  Now, as an exercise, can we rattle off POSITIVE words like PURPOSE-DRIVEN, GOAL-SETTER, MOTIVATED, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR, EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, we can go on and on💎💎💎

Problem is, most of us tend to [mistakenly] think that WINNERs are enormously better than everyone else.  BUT the truth is, WINNERs are just a LITTLE BETTER.  We can easily draw an analogy with a horse race because in most cases, the winning horse was likely ahead by a second or even a fraction of it.  And that RAZOR EDGE of a difference dictated as to who is the WINNER versus the LOSERs.  In the NBA, the Miami Heat Team is #1 in total CLUTCH GAMES which is defined as score margins of five points or less within the last five minutes of a game✅✅✅

So, here we go.  If we're going to be a WINNER, we need to know the importance of the RAZOR'S EDGE and we need to know put the RAZOR EDGE's difference at work, in our life, in our relationships.  In a nutshell, that RAZOR's EDGE is simply doing a little bit more than you used to, a LITTLE BIT more than the others, a LITTLE BIT more than the expected and a LITTLE BIT more than expected.  At the end of the day, the gap of the end results could be as huge as between the sky and the ground. give or take a hairline❗❗❗

Oh, one thing I have read from numerous experts.  DON'T SETTLE FOR THE BASICs.  You could have mastered reading but you got to advance.  You may be comfortable with arithmetic but have you gone to advanced financials to cover BUDGETING, SAVING, INVESTING, amongst others?  Once you have gone BEYOND THE BASICs, aim to be an EXPERT, an SME [i.e. Subject Matter Expert] on something [and that something must NOT be rammed through your throat but something that you would passionately grow as an EXPERT📌📌📌

So, why do we push for us all to be SMEs, be experts in your selected field or area?  Note that experts or SMEs tend to receive the most recognitions, even the most incomes, and frequently, achieving the highest satisfaction in his/her endeavor[s].  This should now egg us to realize and go ALL-OUT for that RAZOR EDGE advantage to end up as a WINNER [instead of a LOSER]💊💊💊

How Was Your Moments In The Sun?

How Was Your Moments In The Sun?

How Was Your Moments In The Sun? Crazy and insane question, you might retort.  Indeed, life can be either a beautiful journey, a crazy ride and a big adventure which can end up either on a positive note or otherwise.  But it can also be a living nightmare, a constant struggle and even a 'HARD TEACHER'.  Now, it's all up to us, to YOU.  In each moment, we choose which side of it to embrace and that affects our mind, body and soul.  Moreso our present and future

But the question rarely asked of us is, 'HOW WAS OUR MOMENTS UNDER THE SUN?'  Of course, we all agree that the GOOD LIFE is a process, NOT a state of being.  It is a direction and NOT a destination.  When we imagine a GOOD LIFE, the first things on the top of our head may be a room full of friends, partying, travelling the world without any worry and endless days packed with exciting activities.  That assumes we live the GOOD LIFE

Obviously, living the GOOD LIFE is much relative because it can mean a myriad of things.  My definition of what GOOD LIFE is, would be different from your definition to that third party's own definition.  In its basic form, though, a GOOD LIFE explores the things and feeling that give us JOY and SATISFACTION.  It's all about finding PURPOSE and HAPPINESS to what we do

Our GOOD LIFE is a state where a person has a high standard of living while adhering to moral and ethical laws.  However, for some, GOOD LIFE may mean basking in nature every single day.  For others, it means dedicating their life to be of service to others.  There are also other people whose definition of GOOD LIFE means playing video games and eating wantonly, UNLI at that

Having said that, GOOD LIFE is NOT a sprint.  It's an exerting marathon of PURPOSE, PASSION, PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE.  It's the road where FAITH + HARD WORK meet.  It is where truth becomes a belt and integrity gets shielded.  It is knowing our lane and running in our own race though it's a road loathed and less traveled by most men.  But to hell, as long as we're doing things right especially when our MOMENTS IN THE SUN become most fulfilling❗❗❗

Are You In A 'DOWNWARD SPIRAL'?

Are You In A 'DOWNWARD SPIRAL'?

To borrow a favorite American expression, 'sometimes a funk is more than the sum of its parts.  And many more times in our life, circumstances and situations tend to get so intertwined leading us to ask if we Are In A 'DOWNWARD SPIRAL'?  And in most cases, that self-prognosis is just damn right.  So what makes it right?  It's because at the end of the day, most of us are aware that it is HOW we react specific situations that tend to exacerbate things💎💎💎

So, in many cases, we should have NOT ended up in those situations causing our downward spiral.  You just DONT have to go and take that path.  It is NOT the events or the circumstances but it is the way our mind reacts to them that causes a seemingly minor annoyance to sometimes snowball into an ell-encompassing 'black mood'.  In short, the glimmer of hope is that while we CANNOT control a lot of things, we can control the way we react to situations.  Factually, DOWNWARD SPIRALS are often provoked by jumping to the worst case conclusions✅✅✅

Try making a beeline from a boss's critical email right to "I'M GOING TO BE FIRED".  OR you take a friend's failure to call as a 'SURE SIGN' she DOESN'T like you anymore.  But we need to realize that probably, the boss's email is simply part of BUSINESS AS USUAL while your friend was probably distracted by a problem in her own life that has got NOTHING to do with you at all📌📌📌

Numerous studies have shown that humans are 'HIGHLY EVOLVED PROBLEM SOLVERS'.  No sooner do we experience a negative emotion than we then feel compelled to fix it, fast, pronto.  Usually, that 'URGE' goes with the assumption that there's probably SOMETHING WRONG with us for 'FEELING BLUE', which, unfortunately, tends to only compound that imminent depression✅✅✅

Another complexity that seems to commonly worsen things is that by trying to think our way out of a certain predicament [e.g. sadness, depression], ironically we tend to fuel and worsen it.  So, the more we FEED this DOWNWARD SPIRAL with attention, it then becomes very likely that we tend to unconsciously allow it to proliferate.  In the end, such NEGATIVITIES will just continue to multiply, spinning from one thing to two things to ten things.  So, if you are in a DOWNWARD SPIRAL, arrest that skid and turnaround❗❗❗

RETHINK If You're 'Bout To GIVE UP!

RETHINK If You're 'Bout To GIVE UP!

RETHINK If You're 'Bout To GIVE UP!  Yes, those are strong words because we just WON'T and CAN'T hold back and just tap your wrist if you seem to be going wayward.  As studies have proven time and again, what matters most in the midst of our struggles is the ELEMENT of TIME📌📌📌

Yes, we DON'T end up quitting because we find ourselves facing too many obstacles or obstacles that may be too strong.  We then end up quitting because we're too weak. However, deep inside me, the inflection point at which we can no longer avoid paying attention to the idea of quitting, that is, the point of which our strength fails us, can be changed.  We can become stronger by challenging our weakness even if at first we DON'T succeed💎💎💎

Increasing our RESILIENCE, both mental and physical, will be an arduous process that's very rarely linear.  That is, it is a process filled with STOPS and STARTS, periods of either progress and periods of regression.  If we're running in a marathon and with leg cramps we decide to quit halfway, quitting that marathon halfway through should give us the BENEFIT of the EFFORT we made while still in that marathon up to the point where we decide to quit.  Those efforts should strengthen us enough over time as long as we DIDN'T allow our quitting to stop us from going back out the next❎❎❎

That same principle should apply any time we make an effort to break new ground in any new arena or endeavor.  The KEY to SUCCESS is simply to keep coming back for more, even if you quit short of your goal several times over, until you find yourself strong enough NOT to give in WHEN your body OR your mind are telling you to.  Just because you do quit, even a hundred times in a row, the experiences you have up until the various points at which you do are the very things that develop the RESILIENCE you need to win in the end❗❗❗

It os true that the risk of becoming grounded in SELF-DEFEATING thoughts when you're defeated by yourself [because you chose to GIVE UP] , we should note, is far greater than when you're defeated by something else.  It may very well be psychologically easier to get yourself to try again in the latter case than in the former you're far more likely to buy into a narrative that defines YOU as a QUITTER and thus, undeserving of SUCCESS.  So, you got to RETHINK IF YOU'RE 'BOUT TO GIVE UP✅✅✅

Never Bid Against Yourself

Never Bid Against Yourself

When we start looking into the market out there, it's all commercials.  That's when $$$$$ 'TALKS'.  So, once you plunge into the market [whether as a jobhunter or as an entrepreneur], gentle reminder here:  Never Bid Against Yourself unless yours is an outlier of a story📌📌📌

Years back when I was 'ACTIVE' in the job market [thanks to my headhunter], I knew my PRICEPOINT like the palm of my hands.  YET, each time, I would take a PULSE CHECK of the job market and do a mapping as to where I stand vis-a-vis the market.  If and when there is a gap between my PRICEPOINT and what the market benchmarking shows, it won't take me a second to succumb to reality as pragmatism creeps in, all because of commercials.  And this narrative runs true to entrepreneurs as well💊💊💊

Now, let's swing over to the other end of the spectrum.  WHAT IF you worry too much.  WHAT IF you are pessimistic of your chances in the market.  WHAT IF you are approaching that DESPERATION point.  WHAT IF you're inching towards raising the WHITE FLAG.  That's when you play devil's advocate and question yourself why you seem to be pricing yourself way below the bottom-floor of the market.  Are you that DESPERATE❓❓❓

Unfortunately, when you're out there playing within the market, you got to wear the hat of a boxer, shielding himself and covering up his vulnerability and YET, he's ready enough to throw the wicked punch once he sees that slightest opening from within his end.  If you carry yourself with the traits of a typical boxer, you've got one foot by then💎💎💎

Borrowing this poster from the now defunct but popular PRICE IS RIGHT TV shows, this says it all.  You got to button hole yourself with the PRICE is RIGHT.  Challenge is, the definition of 'RIGHT' is very relative.  What is RIGHT for you may be too low from my perspective.  So, this is when things become a bit trickier.  Now, whether you're into entrepreneurial or job market forays, be cautious enough.  NEVER BID AGAINST YOURSELF⏳⏳⏳