No Moral Victories In Defeat

No Moral Victories In Defeat

Sometimes [and sometimes it comes in streaks], DEFEAT would hit us in our life [and that's fine as it is part and parcel of life].  What is NOT fine is we end up [habitually] claiming Moral Victories In Defeat because in essence, there is No Moral Victories In Defeat.  A 'L' [Loss] is NOT a 'W' [Win] because you got to eke a WIN to claim that victory.  But sometimes, we tend to flip things💎💎💎

Problem is, when we end up getting hit with a streak of defeats a.k.a. failures, we shrug it off like 'OH THAT'S A ONE-OFF' until that one-off does NOT end up as such when defeat a.k.a. failure keeps recurring.  And instead of ending up to motivate us further, we would take it as a moral victory [even in failure].  No sirrrrs, a failure is a failure, period.  DON'T even window-dress it because that ends up like a square peg you're pushing in a round hole.  

In sports, an often used phrase is 'THERE ARE NO MORAL VICTORIES' and that phrase is extolled by coaches, fans and players alike whenever their team loses a contest.  It places primacy on the score as the only outcome worthy of acknowledgment.   If at all, we need to challenge ourselves and pursue three things as we move forward.  Firstly, let us NOT 'sacrifice the future on the altar today'.  Secondly, let us love our future self as much or more than we do to our current self.  And lastly, let us recognize the genuine miracle it was that they were present in this moment [despite our day to day grind] and never forget this and understand your responsibility.  There are just NO excuses to put in hard work💊💊💊

Bottom line is, to quote American General Colin Powell. 'THERE ARE NO SECRETS TO SUCCESS.  IT IS THE RESULT OF PREPARATION, HARD WORK AND LEARNING FROM FAILURE'.  Hearsay CEO Clara Shih says it further, 'TO WIN, YOU HAVE TO SWIM UPSTREAM EARLY ON - AND THAT REQUIRES HARD WORK and LONG HOURS.  THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS'.  Indeed, all these quotable quotes are 'content heavy'📌📌📌

Yes, defeats and failures are part of the harsh realities in life but no can argue that indeed 'HARD WORK PAYS OFF'.  You can have nothing now.  You are probably scrambling to go straight to the faucet during meal times because you got NO meals on the table.  But that's NEVER the 'end of the world'.  As much as several doors of opportunities may have shut down on you, look around because one or two windows [of opportunities] will open up for you.  There are just NO MORAL VICTORIES IN DEFEAT❗❗❗

When NOT To Make Decisions

When NOT To Make Decisions

Ooooops, I might get bashed if I now lobby when NOT to make decisions because all along, we have advocated that we should act fast based on swift decisions but now, do I seem to take back my words?  No sirrrrrs, our resoluteness to reach swift decisions remains atop the totem pole BUT hey, those were NEVER unconditional words because such statements remain ifffffy.

Topping the list of NO-NOs for you to make your decisions is when you're either emotional or worst, angry.  Note that being emotional could mean being ecstatic and euphoric.  But either way, such emotions are extremely powerful and it can skew our thinking in such a way that end up saying or doing things we would NOT normally do.  And that goes along with rewarding a person after an outstanding performance.  Who knows that was a 'flash in the pan'❓❓❓

At the workplace, you could get exhausted towards the end of day.  And hey, fatigue can result in making decisions that may feel right at that moment of exhaustion but may NOT feel so good once the fatigue has lifted.  So when you are feeling burned out, be cautious and careful regarding making decisions you choose to make and that gets complicated if you're anxious because anxiety can be brutal in the sense that it can take your mind captive and overwhelm your judgment💊💊💊

Such anxiety can be so distressing that people will make any decision just to end it.  However good it may feel at that moment, such decisions are often regretted later on when the anxiety simmers down.  So, better take caution when making decisions while battling a bout of anxiety.  Sometimes, the aftermath of a 'grave loss' deep within you can reshape our normal thought process.

Now let's swing to those moments when we seem to be in 'CLOUD 9'.  As nothing feels more energizing than a great success, those are the moments when all that is needed to get our nod is a slight nudge.  When we're euphoric enough, we become vulnerable to end up with ill-advised decisions.  Never forget WHEN NOT TO MAKE DECISIONS💹💹💹

Have We Forgotten To Be "CHILDREN"?

Have We Forgotten To Be "CHILDREN"?

Have We Forgotten To Be "CHILDREN"? A silly question?  Not so fast.  Instead, why DON'T we pause for awhile and think nothing but all the manifestation of children in their daily life.  APPRECIATIVE.  GRATEFUL.  POSITIVE.  SIMPLE.  And most of the time, 'LIVING IN THE MOMENT'.  Whereas, let's swing to our adulthood.  How often are we APPRECIATIVE, GRATEFUL, POSITIVE and SIMPLE [in expectations that DON'T require the moon and the stars

Post-it-Notes all over?  No problem.  BRING IT ON and I won't let you down.  Swinging to our adulthood, there we go, name it, we have it.  SENSITIVE.  COMBATIVE.  LESS FORGIVING.  And where do all those lead us to?  That's when we are pushed in the abyss, into that dark corner, having very few options to wiggle in the elbow room.  And in the end, we seem to stand on shaky grounds atop the incognito sinkhole💎💎💎

It's true we all have our lives to live, priorities to focus on but if there's one area we adults have significantly regressed is that of being PLAYFUL.  All along, we stereotyped being PLAYFUL just to children.  It's like it's a no man's land.  But let's think about it.  If we could reclaim back at least 30% of our PLAYFULNESS as children, would we be LESS stressed and LESS vulnerable like children    

Heard of PRIDE across children?  Nada.  Nitchs.  Rien.  It just doesn't ring a bell.  Children can mingle across the open field and instantly, you would see them playfully enjoying the company of another kid he/she came across that very moment in the wide open field.  Whereas what happened to us adults.  We develop our own turf.  We put up those imaginary fences to separate us from anyone we feel doesn't deserve to interact with us.  And before we know it, we're ensconced up there in the ivory tower, shielded from anyone we DON'T want.

When was the last time we were grinning from ear to ear?  Probably when we did hit the Lotto jackpot.  OR when we landed our first job.  OR when we had our first brand new car.  OR when we got promoted.  OR when we flew out of the country for the very first time.  So, WHY DON'T we reclaim back the glorious days the children have enjoyed day-in day-out❓❓❓

How Far Should You Stretch PATIENCE

How Far Should You Stretch PATIENCE

How Far Should You Stretch PATIENCE?  But before we get bogged down with that serious discourse, let's align with Oxford's definition of PATIENCE as that 'capacity to accept or tolerate either delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset'.  So, indeed, intolerance and impatience does afflict our lives.  Why are we so impatient❓❓❓

I'm no linguist but besides 'DANKE' in German, there is this wonderful word  to describe children who can't sit still and the word is 'ZAPPELPHILIPP'.  That story of Fidgety Philip tells about the tale of a boy who simply can't sit still.  Rocking his chair at the dinner table, he falls backwards, dragging the tablecloth and everything on it.

On the other hand, this 'picture perfect' shot of a doting father patiently teaching his daughter the basics of biking says it all.  So while IMPATIENCE is NOT always helpful especially when it is aggressive or probably causing fear or worse, stress, it can be dangerous.  A concrete example is driving with that aggressive impatience, tailgating and worst, hooting a cautious driver.  When such a manic driver ever overtakes me when my family and myself are in the family car, that would be the closest shave I will endeavor my family not to agonize with💠💠💠

On the other hand, the challenging question I had to pause before responding to, was: 'IS PATIENCE A VIRTUE'?  I'll leave it for my readership to reserve their own answer.  But what kind of troubles me is if we seem to have lost sight of the value of PATIENCE because countless studies have shown that PATIENCE enables people to accomplish things otherwise not possible.  In some of my past 'darker moments', I avoided dwelling on questions like 'WHY ME?' because that could be a pathway to negative feelings of self-pity📌📌📌

At the end of the day, let's have this analogy with the multi-fibered rope.  No matter how sturdy it is, one day it will get snapped.  And that's exactly the threshold we'll encourage you to think about.  Be PATIENT but not when that breaches the threshold when things will boomerang back to you.  Stretch your PATIENCE only when it is fair, rational and reasonable.  Beyond that, cut the crap✅✅✅

Stepping Out Of Your Bubble?

Stepping Out Of Your Bubble?

Yes we all have our own bubbles in our life.  And it's the best place to be.  That's where you can be in your most unguarded moments.  That's where you feel assured that nothing would go wrong in life.  That's when your self-confidence and self-motivation is beyond doubt at its peak.  But here's the catch though.  Sooner or later, we got to be stepping out of our BUBBLE and many times in fact, it won't be our choice at all💊💊💊

Just as our bath tub is, we can't remain enjoying the warmth of the water.  Either the water has to be drained or we might have simply overstayed there.  So, when do we think we would be stepping out of our BUBBLE?  The ability to take risks by stepping out of our BUBBLE is the primary way by which we grow.  But the harsh truth is that more often, we're afraid to take that first step.  But the real truth that seems to be in oblivion is that our very own BUBBLE is NOT really that comforting enough to be tagged as our COMFORT ZONE💹💹💹

So how can we step out of our BUBBLE a.k.a. COMFORT ZONE?  Topping all things, we need to be aware as to what's in there outside our BUBBLE.  Not being aware of what's in store outside will not entice us to step out.  Equally important, be aware of what you need to overcome.  Whether it's the fear of interacting face-to-face or talking before a crowd, figure it out.

Now, tjos becomes trickier and easier said than done.  Endeavor to get COMFORTABLE with DISCOMFORT.  It could be as simple as talking to someone.  But if you hang-on a bit more, you would realize that the DISCOMFORT you had seems to be gradually waning, albeit gradually💎💎💎

Now, taking the next step is crucial.  So do take BABY STEPS [and NOT that 'quantum leap'].  DON'T try to jump out of your BUBBLE as likely you will get overwhelmed and what happens next, you will jump right back in.  Now when trying to 'wiggle out' of a discomfort, be honest enough AT LEAST TO YOURSELF.  DON'T condone things wherein you'll alibi is "I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME [right now]".  Unless you gather your inner resolve to step out of your BUBBLE, that may NEVER happen, maybe NOT even in your lifetime.  My God, that's very pitiful dude❗❗❗

Slopes Can Be VERY Slippery

Slopes Can Be VERY Slippery

Not to dampen the spirit and adrenalin of the mountaineers and outdoor lovers but Slopes Can Be VERY Slippery.  But similar to coins, there are two sides to it.  One side tells us with a loud NO that that is NOTHING to be scared of because it WON'T lead you to something tragic and dreadful.  That is true in most cases but only for your first 'slip up'💊💊💊

And this is our most common fault which seems to have turned from 'one offs' to chronic ones.  After a first 'slip up', we would simply dust things off and proceed with the same undertaking.  So, where's our miss there?  We overlooked the need to pause and take a quick 'post mortem' as to why and what caused that 'slip up'

But the "devil's advocate" in us eventually turns cynical and would question that need for a 'post mortem' as it seems to be a WASTE of TIME ?!@# from their perspective.  If we're looking to a tandem trekking up that same 'slippery slope' and both did 'slip up' and the other one pauses for a moment 💹💹💹

Swinging back to our lives, sometimes we tend to be so 'cocky' and argue further that a recent 'slip up' was just that, a 'slip up'.  "NO WORRIES" has become a popular rejoinder in fact.  But much as people are NOT worrisome, truth of the matter, many of us who end up in a 'tragic fall' or ar least a 'near tragic' one is because we belittle the little things and little setbacks that hit us, when in fact, each minor setback pushes us closer an inch closer and closer to the brink of the ultimate failure which even sometimes end fatally

We've heard sort of 'miracle' stories of people who were suffering various illnesses but surprisingly have rebounded and they DON'T seem to intend to die in the next coming years [YET].  We've heard of divorcees who didn't know how to pick up the pieces all over again but lo and behold, they are now enjoying life when they were given a new lease of life.  So, please be wary when you're in a downward slope❗❗❗

Tell-Tale Signs of Red Flags in Life

Tell-Tale Signs of Red Flags in Life

Should we be searching the grounds and highways for our [potential] RED FLAGS in life?  Absolutely.  Be on the lookout for Tell-Tale Signs of RED FLAGS in Life.  You DON'T want to buckle up and go for a long haul drive only to get your car stalled in the middle of nowhere⏳⏳⏳

Relationships?  Even the strongest and tightly bonded ones sometimes weaken and just end up crumbling down like cookies.  WHY?  It's because there were Tell-Tale Signs of RED FLAGS in Life yet we sometimes [or maybe, many times] simply ignore it, kinda shrugging off our shoulders.  When two parties in a relationship seem to gradually drift apart although one of them is reaching out, guess WHO'S THE CULPRIT💊💊💊

On the other hand, those tell-tale signs of problems down the road manifest right in our behavior and actions.  Easily giving up.  Quitting as swift as when lightning strikes.  Taking a "U-TURN" in decisions or directions with very limited, if at all, thorough validation and assessment of the situation including the workarounds and alternatives to it.  Or have you heard of someone who's so gung-ho to initiate things but when impatience takes over himself, he's the first one to abandon things

Or things can boil down to your very own health.  Heard of narratives when he was manifesting various symptoms of a potential illness but simply ignore it all?  OR heard of one illness that doesn't seem to worsen but instead a new illness comes to manifest then another new illness pops up until one day, the doctor declares that there are multiple organ failures, whew💎💎💎

Not to scare you, we DON'T want your life journey to get stalled along the way when it could have been avoided.  Or worst, we DON'T want your life journey to end up in utter failure because that might imply you failed to detect far ahead down the road the Tell-tale signs of RED FLAGS✅✅✅  

Do The Things You Love

 Do The Things You Love

Question:  Why do we need to do the things we love?  Good question indeed.  And the answer to that perplexing question is a five-letter word spelled H-A-P-P-Y.  Indeed, this should NOT be a 'HARD SELL'.  Simply recall the zillion times in the past you ended up HAPPY.  And what could be the COMMON DENOMINATOR?  Despite the variety of things you did or acted on, the likely COMMON DENOMINATOR is always spelled H-A-P-P-Y⏳⏳⏳

Billionaire Warren Buffett once said that the key to your happiness is to "DO SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ALL YOUR LIFE".  On a work-related comment, he further said: "I URGE YOU TO WORK IN JOBS THAT YOU LOVE.  I THINK YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU KEEP TAKING JOBS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE BECAUSE YOU THINK IT WILL LOOK GOOD IN YOUR CV/RESUME".  It is true there are risks involved in chasing after that dream job.  Fact is, you just DON'T wake up one day and quit your job but when you do discover the work that will spring you out of bed every morning, it will be worth it📌📌📌

Who doesn't know the things he/she loves?  For a doting parent, spending time with one's kids can't be topped by anything else better.  Who doesn't love a good hobby?  They offer a break from the daily grind.  Opportunities to get together with friends.  Light at the end of the work shift schedule.  But did you know hobbies also have physical and mental health benefits?  And it doesn't matter whether your chosen pastime is intense or mellow💊💊💊

Yessssss, this poster seems closer to our hearts because most of us have day jobs.  Where NEGATIVE emotions creep within your work situation, DECOMPRESS!  Release the tension with calming and rhythmic thoughts.  Medical studies have proven that with lower STRESS LEVELS, a lower heart rate and a better mood is NOT far-fetched to happen close to the heels💎💎💎

TICK all the boxes but how?  Start off by challenging your mind, boosting your brain.  Expand your interests.  Engage in activities like music and arts as it's been proven that they reduce stress and even enhance confidence.  Keep things simple.  DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE [and not pursuing things rammed through your throat [because you can get choked]✅✅✅

What You See Is What You Get

 What You See Is What You Get

Borrowing this post from Quora by Ghost Girl:  An old lady was standing by the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not be blown off by the wind.  A gentleman approached her and said:  'Pardon me Madam, I don't intend to be forward but sis you know your dress is blowing up',  The old lay said: 'I l know that's why I need both my hands to hold on to this hat'.  The man said: 'But Madam, you're not wearing anything under your dress and your privates are exposed'.  The old woman blurted:  'Sir, anything you see down there us 85 eight years old whereas this hat, I just bought this yesterday.  Ouch, indeed  What You See Is What You Get📌📌📌

If at all, this is what is expected from us all.  BE WHAT YOU ARE [and DON'T project something you are NOT].  Express your GENUINE thoughts and feeling [and DON'T spew out anything which you are NOT].  What complicates things in life is when we are NOT that genuine and truthful enough.  And what is the complication?  The person[s] receiving your expression or act will, by default, think that such expression is genuine and truthful enough, so they might react or reciprocate, aligned to your expressions which are UNTRUE

Job interviews offer a good storyline.  Why is it many fail the job interviews?  A common HR feedback is that the interviewee DON'T seem to be genuine and truthful enough.  They would 'WINDOW-DRESS' their CV/Resume until it projects someone coming from the IVY LEAGUE [when he/she is much far away from that projection.  So, nothing beats being genuine and truthful💊💊💊

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does NOT mean the question sincerely.  So, telling them that you are fine [even if you're NOT] is the usual answer.  In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen and WON'T be afraid to be ourselves.  Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens.  Sometimes, even more so than it might have been before📌📌📌

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace and we have to UNLEARN that.  Telling others that you are "FINE" all the time is actually detrimental to your well-being because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic and your TRUEST self.  We may never live a perfect life in a perfect world but wouldn't things be many times better if WHAT WE SEE IS WHAT WE GET [in a genuine way]✅✅✅

What Comes Along With DESPERATION

What Comes Along With DESPERATION

I've come across numerous threads where DESPERATION has been equated with DEPRESSION.  Which means there is a huge disconnect because DEPRESSION is more of a medical illness that affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.  Whereas DESPERATION per se is NOT DEPRESSION.  So, the question that begs to be enlightened is What Comes Along With DESPERATION📌📌📌

Whereas, DESPERATION is often NOT  a medical illness [although it is unavoidable that those struggling with DEPRESSION tend to manifest DESPERATION.  No worries, we won't tackle DEPRESSION as that is NOT my turf.  Instead, HOPELESSNESS is a manifestation of feeling HOPELESS due to a situation one is grappling with.  Examples would be when you're getting HOPELESS to get out of debt or worse, you're feeling HOPELESS of anything you pursue in life, you've been FAILING and FAILING no end⏳⏳⏳

Indeed, feeling stuck in a state of HOPELESSNESS makes life really tough.  But hold on, there are some things you can do when feeling HOPLELESS, if at lease to make life a little bit better, to alleviate you from the bigger problems you're facing.  HOW?  Play devil's advocate.  Consider your brain might be lying to you.  your brain might be telling you that things are awful and horrible.  And that there's NO way you can succeed💊💊💊

BUT c'mon dude.  Just because you did think about it does NOT mean that that's TRUE at all.  Who knows at that point in time, your thoughts may be distorted, inaccurate or just downright WRONG.  Remember, HOPELESS FEELINGS FUEL HOPELESS THOUGHTS.  And as humans, we are so vulnerable and so easy to get caught up in a NEGATIVE CYCLE that makes it hard to see that things can get better.

So, how can you be your own devil's advocate?  ARGUE THE OPPOSITE.  When you feel HOPELESS, you'll likely think about all the reasons why nothing will ever get better.  Thinking a bit about the 'POTENTIAL POSITIVES' can open you up to more possibilities.  And while there's a chance that things might NOT turn out good enough, keep 'ARGUING' [to yourself] to open your brain up that things are NOT as gloomy as they seem to be.  OVERCOMING DESPERATION is not that steep❗❗❗