Wanna Put Off Till Tomorrow?

Wanna Put Off Till Tomorrow?

All along, all our voices scream in unison when PROCRASTINATION pops up.  Even the habitual procrastinators will deny [to death] that they are procrastinators.  But not so fast though because there are advantages to it on certain conditions.  So seriously, do you Wanna put Off something till tomorrow?  Yes dude, there is a glimmer of hope for us NOT to loathe procrastinating but it's so crafted on specific assumptions so that doing it DOESN'T get stretched, ok?

What seems surprising though is that researches have shown it that there are benefits arising from PROCRASTINATION.  Not so fast though because there is a HUGE DIVIDE between chronic PROCRASTINATION versus that 'sweet spot' called moderate PROCRASTINATION.  Psychologist Adam Grant says that moderate PROCRASTINATION can help give our brain time to mull over a task or a problem and create that 'SPACE' for greater creativity and innovative ideas.  He further buttresses this theorem by vouching that that becomes the 'PRIMARY WORK ZONE' of innovators and even deep thinkers⏳⏳⏳

Whether or not we PROCRASTINATE may also be due to what kind of person we are, as well as what really motivates you.  And looking into our lives, there are basically two groups of people, namely, the TASK-DRIVEN and the DEADLINE-DRIVEN.  And frankly, either of these approaches is NOT bad or wrong.  While TASK-DRIVEN individuals would rather use their time to accomplish their goals in small bites, DEADLINE-driven people prefer to channel their stress to work under pressure as it helps them to put more focus📌📌📌

However, whether you are the DEADLINE-driven or not, if you end up as a chronic procrastinator, beating yourself only makes it harder to kick that [chronic] habit.  But where you can harness that ability to handle NEGATIVE emotions, that would help reduce your PROCRASTINATION as it worsens to be that chronic.  But rather than just shrugging off your shoulders and proclaiming that you are an innovator or a thinker, think about it.

So, whether the final verdict is do something NOW or SOMEDAY or WHENEVER, do seriously consider taking serious steps to curb PROCRASTINATION.  Find the very root cause of your anxiety for a particular task.  Address your limiting SELF-BELIEFS.  Reframe the project as something that is beneficial rather than something that measures your worth.  So, if you're putting off something till tomorrow, think about it📗📕📘

You Created The Mess? Get Out of the Mess

You Created The Mess?  Get Out of the Mess

Yessirrrrrrs it is as simple as that.  If ever You Caused The Mess, Get Out of It.  Nothing more, nothing less.  So, why should we spend time now about a mess and the need to eke out and extricate yourself out of such a messy situation.  Well, we all go through a point in our life where everything seems out of control.  Once you get to that point, it's hard to know where to start.  Now there are two flipsides if you are into a mess.  One, the bad news is that it is hard.  The good news is that you will get through it.

BTW, we're not dissecting mess literally.  Not the messy bedroom.  Not your messy office desk.  But instead, it is the mess in our life.  So how do we deal with it?  Firstly, you need to recognize it.  To turn a blind eye is a FAUX PAS.  It's easy to say that you have to take back control of your life but how do you do it ACTUALLY?  If there is one right answer, most people wouldn't deal with this problem for more than a minute.  The truth is there isn't one.  There is NO quick solution but there are ways to deal with it though.

So what if you tell yourself everything is FINE?  Then there is NOTHING to fix.  The moment you DON'T prioritize dealing with your problems is the moment you lose.  It's possible to get through your days even though your life is a MESS.  Because maybe your home isn't a MESS.   Maybe everything looks alright from the outside.  We can still go to work and pick the kids from school despite our problems but day-to-day, you'll become more anxious and depressed UNTIL it finally hits you all at once, damn hard unfortunately.

Now, here's the thing.  You CAN'T control everything, whew !!!  And once you know what are way beyond your control, LET GO of it. When your life seems like a mess, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren't going the way they are supposed to.  It can be the small things like a MESSY kitchen and the BIG things like personal relationships NOT working out or bills and payables are simply overflowing, ouch.  Start out by figuring out exactly where it all seems to go wrong at the moment.  Sit down and write down everything that's bothering you.

By writing it down, you'll be able to to get a good look at your MESSY life.  Sometimes we need to see the problems on a paper written down in our own words.  Once you do this, you'll be able to see that a LOT of the things that seems to make your life a MESS is out of your control.  Underline all the things on the list that you CAN'T control and LET IT GO.  Bottom line is, if you created the MESS, get out of that MESS damn fast and quick✅✅✅

Poor Choices MAY Lead to Mistakes

Poor Choices MAY Lead to Mistakes

Indeed this seems not worth our talking point today?  Supposedly.  But the thing is, mistakes in our daily life seem to become part of a scripted comedy of errors where one mistake happens back-to-back till the poor fella really ends up so miserably down and sometimes so down at the gutter level.  So should we ask ourselves, do we make Poor Choices that Lead to Mistakes

I was browsing a recent research study which showed that typically we commit approximately 2,000 decisions every waking hour.  And that cycle starts when the alarm buzzes and you within nanoseconds, you will have to grapple with immediate decisions whether to cover your ears with your pillow OR to hit the snooze button OR simply rise up to start another day.

But let's admit that many of the decisions we make throughout the day take and need real thought and with each having its respective consequences.  Obviously, making consistently good decisions is the most ideal way to develop that valued habit to develop, whether at home or at work.  Too bad almost all of our choices would affect either our health, our safety, our family and/or relationships.

Challenge is, to be fair to us all, making decisions are easier said than done.  There will be iterations and iterations that will lead you to a multiple list of probabilities.  And sometimes when tough things get tougher, we would end up with 'close shave' decisions where a hairline separates it from either being the right or wrong decision.  So what's some rule of thumbs here?  Overcome that DECISION FATIGUE.  Else you'll struggle and likely err again.  Avoid DISTRACTIONS when you're about to decide because your decision may likely tilt on the wrong side of the equation and you can't UNDO that.

So let's do quick fixes here before we get stalled.  As this poster goes, 'MISTAKES ARE OFTEN A SCAPEGOAT FOR OUR POOR CHOICES💊💊💊

Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER

Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER'

We have been harping and harping over and over again that we need to CHOOSE your friends and for those with a mile-long FB friends list, to prune it down more to validate rather than to literally cut down genuine and real friendships.  Now, what brings a full circle back?  It is on the assumption that your FRIENDS LIST has now been cleansed.  So what's next for us?  It's for us to signoff in that unwritten covenant that we should Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER [regardless of circumstances].

On the other hand, we are taught [both in our cultures and upbringing] to value our genuine and real friends 'AS FAMILY' as much as possible.  WHY?  Because genuine friends are those to whom you can run to, when all your chips are down, when you are at your ebb, your lowest point.  Of course you're friends will celebrate with you your successes but that's only half of what friends are for.

In fact, there's this age-old widely accepted fact that while you CANNOT choose your family and relatives, we can CHOOSE the friends we deserve. Not to make a sweeping statement that all eggs are rotten because that is a fallacy, the flipside of this fact is that there are both good and rotten eggs.  It's for you to choose then.

And it is a given that as there could be good as much as rotten eggs, it becomes our CHOICE whether we want to be right next to either good or rotten eggs.  And if you end up with the rotten eggs, your guess is as good as mine.  What happens when you end up with that basket of rotten eggs?  Think about it, consequences are the resultant effect of the choices we make

But honestly, I can attest to have witnessed where someone did SELL his/her friend DOWN THE RIVER, practically sacrificing that friendship.  And that's when we would hear people 'CRYING A RIVER' because a dearly valued genuine friend has been dumped for whatever reason.  So, let us think things through.  DON'T jump on spur of the moment decisions influenced by anything other than what is rational and logical📌📌📌

Best Foot Forward?

Best Foot Forward? 

Best Foot Forward? C'mon dude, think about it a thousand times because that's not something to be casually done, without pausing for a second or two if indeed you need to put your Best Foot Forward which really caught my attention when a famous former Olympic equestrienne shared her personal story when she finally accepted her husband who was then courting her years back.  One day when her then fiance was driving during the early stages of their getting-to-know each other, there was a rude driver who cut through their direction and her then fiance blurted out with a 'F__K' expression and she turned to him, dumb founded how can he blurt that four-letter word.

Another time, arother day, they got caught in a traffic snarl they didn't expect especially since they were running against time to catch up an appointment.  And right therein, she heard him again blurt that 'F__K" word and again, she turned and looked shocked how can he blurt that four-letter word.  This time, he asked her:  "DO YOU WANT MY BEST FOOT FORWARD"???

So, seriously, when "DO YOU WANT THAT BEST FOOT FORWARD"?  If you're in a marathon or sprint competition, GO FOR IT with your BEST FOOT FORWARD.  If you are in the job market angling for your dream job, yes, GO FOR IT with your BEST FOOT FORWARD.  But other than those circumstances, if you are wooing the dream girl of your life, why put your BEST FOOT FORWARD?

For now, let's consult Mr Webster's definition of that  BEST FOOT FORWARD thing and it states that it means TO BEHAVE VERY WELL IN ORDER TO GAIN SOMEONE's APPROVAL.    Well said.  So, what does this tell us.  In our interactions with our partner/spouse, with our immediate families, our close coterie of friends and confidants and your BFFs, why do you need to put your BEST FOOT FORWARD?  When what behooves is for you to be TRUE and GENUINE enough whether it's your persona, your character, even your mannerisms and behavior.

What's the probable scenario when we end up with that BEST FOOT FORWARD mindset?  That could lead us to end up lurking out at our shoe rack because you will never find the BEST SHOE every time you need to put that BEST FOOT FORWARD.  What's our insight here?  You can put your BEST FOOT FORWARD but that WON'T bring you far enough.  Who knows you might suffer a setback.  Think about with that BEST FOOT FORWARD mindset❗❗❗

Why Seek A Debt One Can't Pay

Why Seek A Debt One Can't Pay

Not until today, throughout my life, I always believed that we SHOULD see a debt we are owed.  Not until I was watching a Netflix docu today wherein the bereaved sibling was pragmatic to state "Why Seek A Debt He Can't Pay".  That triggered me to really pause and end up in a state of stupor.  And in the middle of getting stalled, I realized how way long overdue my realization is.  Then I challenged myself if I was having a very narrowed view of things for me to realize this late?

For the longest time, I stuck it out with the hardline principle I learned from my father right from our formative years when he'll always push that where you are on the receiving end and shortchanged.  To settle that score, he would always take that hardline approach for an 'eye for an eye' and a 'tooth for a tooth'.  

And BTW, talking about Debt One Can't Pay is NOT all about financials.  It could be more about relationships.  Probably your partner or spouse having hurt you emotionally and obviously you got hurt.  But for the meantime what can you do?  Would you buy time for you to settle a score?  What if there is no realistic 'modus vivendi' to settle things.  Why can't you consider FORGIVING and hitting the RESET button as a safe way out?

Allow me to grab this poster from Project Forgive as it says it all:  YOU ARE GENUINELY HEALING WHEN YOU CAN FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS FOR BEING JUST AS FLAWED AS EVERYONE ELSE.  And BTW, this is NOT just about our parents who may have erred.  Could be any Tom, dick and Harry who crossed paths with you and did owe you an explanation.

BTW, forgiveness means different things to different people.  Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.  The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you.  Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of UNDERSTANDING, EMPATHY and COMPASSION for the one who hurt you.  Forgiveness does NOT mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm.  Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps us go on with our life.  At the end of the day, let us come to terms with the fact that it is pointless to seek Debt One Can't Pay📌📌📌

Life Has NO Do-Overs

 Life Has NO Do-Overs

Is there a SECOND CHANCE?  Probably Second Chance Ave.  Other than that, let's establish this:  that Life Has NO Do-Overs.  Whoever made you believe that you've got a SECOND CHANCE must be making a fool of you.  Simply put, that's all baloney because you can say what you want but nothing in life will give you that opportunity for a SECOND CHANCE, even if you ask for it in bended knees.

To quote respected motivational speaker and life coach Tony Gaskins, THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS IN LIFE.  EVERY MOVE COSTS TIME, SO MAKE YOUR NEXT MOVE YOUR BEST MOVE!  And yet, till now, we here from all corners and nooks the same refrain, DON'T WORRY, YOU GOT YOUR SECOND CHANCE.  But here's the thing.  Reality is, your first chance is your last chance.  And if you're angling for a second chance, so sorry sirrrrrrrrs, no one guarantees us that that will come.  Because it WON'T.  So what's our lesson here.  Take every chance damn seriously.  No half-hearted tries.  No mid-efforts because life has NO do-overs.

Let's consult couples who celebrated their golden anniversary as to what's the trick they lasted together that long?  Very likely we will hear from them that what egged them is because life has NO do-overs.  But not to go in despair, nothing is lost.  If you made mistakes, learn from it and move on.  DON'T dwell on your past.  That will only hold you back.  And in case you did hurt someone, APOLOGIZE.  A sincere apology would go a long way in repairing relationships and rebuild trust.

Keep in mind that an apology is not a guarantee of forgiveness.  But even if you are not forgiven, your apology can help repair the relationship and start the healing process.  Creating something akin to a SECOND CHANCE is to reach out to others.  When we're struggling, it can be easy to feel alone and like no one understands us.  Thing is, never shut off the doors for another chance

Now, when we make mistakes, learn from it.  What led you to that situation you're in? What could you have done differently?  How can you prevent yourself from making the same mistake again?  Asking yourself these questions will help you grow as a person and make better choices in the future.  And one of the best things you can do with a second chance is to make positive changes in your life.  Making positive changes can be difficult but it is important to realize that while life has NO do-overs, when a door closes, figure out how a window of opportunity will open for you📌📌📌

When 'WHITE LIE' Is Acceptable

When 'WHITE LIE' Is Acceptable

Indeed, there is NO saint all over our Planet Earth.  Not even within Vatican City.  So When does a lie become A 'WHITE LIE'?  Allow me to share this Quora.com post of Christian Odinson last November 3rd.  A Russian soldier ran up to a nun.  Out of breath, he asked "PLEASE MAY I HIDE UNDER YOUR SKIRT?"  The nun agreed.  A moment later, two military police ran up and

asked, "SISTER, HAVE YOU SEEN A SOLDIER?" The nun replied. "HE WENT THAT WAY".  After the military police left, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH, SISTER.  ITS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO UKRAINE".  He added "I HOPE I'M NOT RUDE BUT YOU HAVE A GREAT PAIR OF LEGS".  The nun replied, "IF YOU LOOKED A LITTLE HIGHER, YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN A GREAT PAIR OF BALLS TOO.  BTW, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO UKRAINE TOO".

So, please DON'T get me wrong.  I not here to condone and encourage WHITE LIES but in life, there will be circumstances that are never premeditated which somehow leads us to accept when a WHITE LIE may be that acceptable.  When you are under COERCION or DURESS [an extreme example is when a thief points a gun at you, demanding you to withdraw from your ATM.  A WHITE LIE that you deny you have an ATM is acceptable.

When you need to protect your name, honor and credibility without besmirching others, a WHITE LIE is acceptable as long as it doesn't become morally or legally wrong.  When sometimes you are down to your last $$$$ on your wallet and someone requests for a small amount of loan, a WHITE LIE stating that you are penniless is fine if it is for the welfare of yourself and your family.

At the end of the day, what should prevail is the protection, security and welfare of yourself and your family as long as it is within the bounds of the law.  We are NOT here to encourage anyone to breach any of the federal, local or even moral laws because.  Instead, what is imperative is that when your 'LIFE IS ON THE LINE', do what it takes to protect and keep yourself and your name untainted and unsullied but without the ill intent of deception and deceit because that throws us to the other side of the fence.  Just be mindful when a WHITE LIE is acceptable✅✅✅

DON'T Be An Ostrich Who Buries its Head in the Sand

 DON'T Be An Ostrich Who Buries its Head in the Sand

For a change, let's slightly veer towards the ostrich but not to dissect its anatomy but rather to wet our appetite to the fact that An Ostrich Buries its Head in the Sand.  So, who wants to be an Ostrich?  But not to be defensive, I'm quite sure not one of us would want to but what happens if we replicate that habit of the Ostrich Burying its Head in the Sand?  And before we castigate the poor Ostrich, why do they bury their head in the sand?  It's their habit when nesting or when they want to avoid or get threatened by predators.  

Oh Oh, not a valid reason for us humans to borrow, right?But are we aware that several times [and for some, probably many times] in our life, we are very much akin to the Ostrich that buries its head in the sand?  How many times we made fumbling acts and when we had to face the consequences, we were like the  Ostrich that buries its head in the sand?  Or when we were confronted to right the wrong but we turned a deaf ear and a blind eye?  Or when we know we erred but refused to accept and make a 'mea culpa'?

OR when you offended or hurt someone but to rub salt on the open wound, you DON'T only accept the mistake but worse you are NOT even remorseful.  OR when you have a real problem, a damn crisis on your hands but you refused to accept the fact that you're beset with that crisis. 

OR when all you need to look at things wide-eyed but you would rather look at the other direction?  OR when you are staring at potential red flags but you just shrugged it off?  OR when you owe your spouse/partner an explanation but with your bloated EGO & PRIDE all rolled into one, you end up so callous and insensitive because your selfishness prevails over you

So, what could be your end point here?  Not to be riding on the coattails of Nostradamus but it's likely that one day, you will find yourself walking right through the all-welcoming mouth of the unforgiving crocodile who'll just feast on you till it squeezes the very last drop and drip of blood from you.  So, please let us not be an Ostrich who buries its head in the sand📌📌📌

The Fish Rots From The Head Down

 The Fish Rots From The Head Down

Borrowing a French expression, "The Fish Rots From The Head Down" is something more than just another no-brainer because logic and rational do tell us that, that exactly what it really is.  But why are we spending time on this today?  It's because some of us tend to be off-track sometimes, thinking that to get rotten does NOT really start from the head down?  How often have we heard stories wherein a previously successful person suddenly went down on a tailspin because everything went up to his head until that head was outsized and too much for him to handle📌📌📌

Back into our lives, how relevant is this French expression that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"?  Heard of stories back in school when we had a classmate who was the perennial #1 in class year-on-year until, one day, his scholastic standing just went down the drain as fast as that shooting star cruising down fast to Earth❓❓❓

And who's our worst enemy?  More often, our enemy is our very own self.  Think when our EGO grows beyond normal proportions such that most of the things we need to undertake are more influenced and dictated by our outsized EGO rather than rational thinking lording it over us.  And when our EGO takes over our own self, does this dovetail that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"

By the time our workplace becomes our secondary home, we would have fully adjusted day-in day-out until such time you steadily go up the ranks, at least from a tenure perspective.  And this is when I could attest having witnessed "The Fish getting rotten From The Head Down" because often, our outgrown and outsized EGO would literally take over our self📌📌📌

So what's our cheat sheet to avert and disprove that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"?  This poster says it all.  EGO, kill it.  LOVE, value it.  SMILE, keep it.  GOSSIP, ignore it.  SUCCESS, achieve it.  JEALOUSY, distance it.  KNOWLEDGE, acquire it.  CONFIDENCE, trust it.  In a nutshell, what this tells us that when you plunge into the waters, split and divide the waters the way the Red Sea's waters parted apart.  Most importantly, we need to disprove that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"📕📗📘