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Sunday, March 31, 2024

When Do You SPEAK?

When Do You SPEAK?

When Do You SPEAK?  Good question.  Tough question though.  And the answer is that there is NO clear-cut answer to that question because you need to factor-in a couple of things before deciding on the best timing to SPEAK UPBUT Let's hear from Nelson Mandela, South Africa's most famous anti-apartheid activist who shared what he learned from his father๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ท

And Mandela said, two things he learned from his father.  Have all attendees sit in a circle and always speak last.  BUT let's throw out those assumptions that we are like Mandela or even Jeff Bezos.  Let's stick to being a layman, a worker, a father figure at home, a businessman.  The recommended best practice regardless of the environment you are in, is to set the tone that goes like this:  HERE'S OUR AGENDA, HERE'S WHAT I THINK BUT I'M INTERESTED TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS๐Ÿ“—๐Ÿ“™๐Ÿ“˜

Studies show that the skill to hold your OPINION until everyone else has spoken does two things, namely:  It gives everyone else the feeling that they have been heard and you get that benefit of listening to valuable inputs from everyone else before rendering your thoughts.  And as you sit there and listen, yes you can ask questions BUT a word of caution.  If you agree with somebody, DON'T nod YES and if you DON'T agree, DON'T nod NO,  In that way, you will be able to understand NOT only what the speakers mean BUT also where they are speaking from, listening from their perspectives๐Ÿ“Œ๐Ÿ“Œ๐Ÿ“Œ

Let's play roles here, assuming it will be a serious discussion amongst your family members and you happen to be the most respected patriarch.  Imagine if you will be the first one to talk and talk, either some of them will get intimidated OR discouraged OR at the very least, some will be hesitant to speak out especially if they end up in loggerheads with you❌❌❌

The most difficult part is to develop that skill to hold your OWN OPINIONS to yourself until everyone has spoken because as per studies, it leads to two things, namely:  It gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard and that it gives everyone the ability to feel that they have contributed.  And secondly, it gives us the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you speak out.  The last thing you want to see are people withdrawing and settling down to their gadgets, refusing to speak up.  Our takeaway, DON'T speak out SO SOON❎❎❎

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