When Is Midlife Crisis?

When Is Midlife Crisis?

When Is Midlife Crisis?  Is this a silly question?  No sirrrrrs.  WHY?  Because for some, 50s is the MIDLIFE.  For many others, midlife defaults to 40s.  But of late, many are claiming that midlife kicks in @ 30s ?  Oh oh oh.  Do you have a conjecture why some are claiming 30s as the MIDLIFE ?  Probably, it's because crisis after crisis is hitting those who get into the 30s cycle, just maybe

But of late, I realized that it could surprise us BUT it shouldn't shock us to hear MIDLIFE CRISIS @ 30s.  With many woes we hear from the 30s generation.  ANXIETY. BOREDOM. DEPRESSION.  And even SLEEPING issues that exacerbate from struggling to sleep to waking up in the wee hours OR [frequently we hear this], sleeping less than six hours a night.  Now, we have a ballgame for our thread today❌❌❌

Worst of things when we get hit with increased feelings of nostalgia, ruminating over past experiences and spending $$$$$ EXCESSIVELY or just utterly irresponsibly.  Studies show that that INNER TURMOIL about reaching MIDLIFE could begin with a specific TRIGGER IN LIFE OR simply stemming from feelings of dissatisfaction OR disconnect with reality❎❎❎

Often, our midlife crisis kicks in after stages of grief, usually beginning with some feelings of DENIAL followed by ANGER.  The crisis phase may next include constant ruminations about WHAT COULD BE and replaying the past or impulsive and reckless behaviors, the stress of which may result in feelings of DEPRESSION or WITHDRAWAL.  The biggest question is HOW LONG will that midlife crisis linger in our life❓❓❓

So how long will our midlife crisis last?  Good grief.  The amount of time a person experiences the symptoms of a midlife crisis heavily hinges on the FREQUENCY of FEELINGS and HOW they chose to resolve them.  In brief, there is NO fixed timeline, NO prescribed dosage, NO guaranteed formula.  Everything is in our hands.  Up to us when we want ourselves to be over the hump with that MIDLIFE CRISIS❗❗❗

Just Never Give Up!

Just Never Give Up!

Please allow me to re-post this one from Quora.com [by Dasha Taran].  "151 DAYS AGO, I FOUND MYSELF SHAKING IN MY KITCHEN TRYING TO COOK EGGS.  I TURNED THE OVER OFF AND COLLAPSED ON MY KNEES WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN.  I LOST THE GAME OF LIFE AND THINKING THIS IS WHO I AM.  AN ALCOHOLIC TRYING TO RAISE TWO KIDS AS A SINGLE FATHER.  I WAS CONSISTENTLY DRUNK EVERY NIGHT.  MY LIVER WAS SHUTTING DOWN AND FELT DYING INSIDE OUT.  THEN I TOLD MYSELF: Just Never Give Up❗❗❗

To cut that narrative short, he dumped away his pride and started calling his mom, his sisters [and even his ex-wife] for HELP.  Not for money though BUT to tell them that come one morning, it was the first time he woke up with NO hungover.  BUT to quote him: "LOOKING BACK, I'M PROUD OF THE JOURNEY I WENT THROUGH.  Just Never Give Up❗❗❗

This "Never Give Up" attitude is the one that we need to carry and live life with, NO matter what the situation is.  In fact, experts claim that we should keep struggling and fighting with the odds.  Failure is NOT even an option for anyone.  Even though we might have failed in any process, we should STAND UP and do it again, but in any case, we should Never Give Up on our dreams, regardless if the point-to-point journey from where you're standing now may take donkey years because to Never Give Up is a virtue that NOT many people really have as part of their arsenal.  Truth is, SUCCESS is NOT everyone's CUP of TEA.  It requires lots of sleepless days nights, lots of sweat and a great amount of hard work BUT only if you Never Give Up❗❗❗

Always make sure that no matter what the situation is, you Never Give Up in your life WHEN nothing seems to go the way we planned, and even if the future looks bleaker than bleak.  During those times, we CANNOT help but feel that there CANNOT be a reason to keep on trying.  After all, WHAT is the point in working on something WHEN we know it is going to be futile in the end?  BUT to be fair, it is NEVER a good idea to Just Give Up, NOT until we have given our 'BEST SHOT' for the situation at hand✅✅✅

A year ago, my immediate nephew was going nowhere.  He never successfully graduated from the university DESPITE being fully [financially] supported by his father for close to 10 years.  So, I committed to help him to be referred to our company's HR on one condition.  I will mentor and practice him until I'm convinced he's fit and read to file his job application.  To cut the story short, he was a NO SHOW for two schedules of our no-nonsense job role playing and practice.  As much as I Never Gave Up on him, he himself Gave Up so soon.  Alas, I woke up with that bitter realization that you can only do so much to push people to Just Never Give Up❗❗❗

Will You Settle To Be An 'UNCLAIMED BAGGAGE'

Will You Settle To Be An 'UNCLAIMED BAGGAGE'

Talking about RELEVANCE, Will You Settle To Be An 'UNCLAIMED BAGGAGE'.  To my surprise, statistics show that there are thousands of UNCLAIMED BAGGAGES whether it is at the world's busiest airport @ Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta, @ Dallas/Fort Worth, Chicago O'Hare, @ LAX, @ Dubai or even @ Heathrow Airport.  BUT that's NOT our talking point today.  Instead, it is about remaining RELEVANT and avoiding being IRRELEVANT like those thousands of baggage @ airports📗📙📘

Instead, our thread today is all about ensuring that we remain RELEVANT in life [regardless the state of your life now].  BTW, are we now into cultures more of DOING rather than of BEING?  It seems so.  Seriously, we DON'T analyze it much BUT indeed it's quite astonishing what we do to stay RELEVANT.  The flip side to this treadmill is our innate FEAR of suddenly NOT being RELEVANT.  Nothing hits our self-esteem harder 💎💎💎

Unfortunately, some of us get mixed up with RELEVANCE with FAME.  While RELEVANCE lasts virtually forever, FAME shines brightly then turns OFF just as abruptly.  Which is how RELEVANCE has come to wrap itself superficially. It has become all about throwing the most lavish party, building a mansion that reaches the sky, winning election after election [and when the incumbent politician has reached his term limit and ineligible to run for re-election, he will push his spouse and children to run for the same political office to ensure that his family does NOT relinquish that political office [Oh, does this sound familiar [especially in the Third World]❓❓❓

Factor-in social media and RELEVANCE gets blurred.  Does it sound familiar to you the fact that some [OR I'm afraid, many of us] are even so obsessed garnering as many LIKES as possible in social media.  All because of boosting one's RELEVANCE?  What we fail to realize here is that the 'TALK OF THE TOWN' rarely stays the course.  Yes they are talked for awhile BUT shortly, they FADE AWAY❎❎❎

The thing about this RELEVANCE is that it is akin to jogging hard to stay in the same place.  Those WHO become RELEVANT, those WHO acquire fame and its corresponding weightage, NEVER get used to being out of the limelight. , NOT being RELEVANT anymore,  So, that bid to become RELEVANT becomes a frantic one.  As our world continues to move in its frenzied spin, can we take stock of things and realize that RELEVANCE is no one-off thing.  Else, the question to our own selves is:  WILL YOU SETTLE TO BE AN UNCLAIMED BAGGAGE"❓❓❓  

Keep An Eye On The Ball

Keep An Eye On The Ball

Funny sharing in Quora.com [Posted by Rebecca]:  Two croupiers are sitting bored at the roulette of THE CASINO.  Suddenly a very attractive blonde woman enters and bets $20,000 on a roll, saying "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, BUT I FEEL VERY LUCKY WHEN I PLAY NAKED".  With that, she unbuttons the zipper, takes and dress and underwear off, throws the dice and yells "COME ON BABY, MAMA NEEDS NEW CLOTHES".  She looks with agony and as soon as the dice stops, starts jumping UP and DOWN screaming, "YES YES YES I WON !"  She embraces one by one of the dealers, taking on her profits and clothes and disappears.  The guys  are looking dumbfounded at each other.  Eventually, one asked, "DID YOU SEE WHAT DICE SHE ROLLED?"  The other guy retorted, "I DON'T KNOW.  I THOUGHT YOU WERE WATCHING".  Whew, can we just Keep An Eye On The Ball PLEASE💎💎💎

Yes, even when you play Pokemon, you got to Keep An Eye On The Ball, so to speak.  In fact, way and beyond gaming, in life itself, we got to keep an Keep An Eye On The Ball unless you got to catch a nap or really go on a full break from your work or chores.  Otherwise, this very old mantra Keep An Eye On The Ball Keep An Eye On The Ball is as relevant practically anything anywhere anytime📌📌📌

Rule of thumb here is that for you to Keep An Eye On The Ball, you got to figure out WHERE TO FOCUS.  Whether it's a work task or even if you're playing baseball or even a board game like chess, figuring out WHERE TO FOCUS just CAN'T CANT' CAN'T be compromised at all.  A big chunk of slip-ups, mishaps and even failures in life are attributable because less than 100% efforts were exerted for the FOCUS📗📕📘

Thing is, it's NOT just in competitions and sports events where you are really expected to Keep An Eye On The Ball.  It could be giving the full FOCUS when cooking at the kitchen [lest miscues may happen therein].  OR when you're driving, the FOCUS just CAN'T CAN'T be less than 100% because the safety measures will be compromised.  OR you could be drafting the monthly report to be submitted to client.  Client demands an error-free report, period❗❗❗

if you're in the service industry, whether you a front sales counter personnel or a Bank RM [Relationship Manager], your pinpoint FOCUS on the accounts you manage just CAN'T be compromised. Swinging to our relationship with our partner/spouse and our families, your FOCUS on them just CAN'T be less than 100%.  Shave off your focus, expect a consequence that will likely be NOT favorable to you.  In a nutshell, whatever you undertake,  Keeping An Eye On The Ball should be your mantra✅✅✅

Are We HARD WIRED With Assumptions?

Are We HARD WIRED With Assumptions?

Short story here:  A college student dated a classmate in college.  Went for dinner, had a few drinks, interacted well and thought he was having a 'GREAT CONNECTION' with the girl.  When it was getting late, they called it a night BUT before parting, he went for that 'GOODNIGHT KISS' but was stopped cold.  The girl was emphatic that that WASN'T happening.  Are We HARD WIRED With Assumptions❓❓❓

The truth and the fact is, many things in our life end up awry all because of ASSUMPTIONS GONE WRONG.  Our human frailty is making ASSUMPTIONS about something and then, accepting it as TRUE without actually finding PROOF.  We human beings are just naturally hard wired this way, mostly due to 'safety reasons'.  Imagine if we saw a scary looking biker standing in a dark alley.  We'd probably ASSUME that that person was dangerous so you'd stay away.  BUT do we realize that making ASSUMPTIONS can lead to some REAL PROBLEMS✅✅✅

Surely you'd agree that there are endless stories where ASSUMPTIONS would lead to more problems and headaches than it ever solves.  To hit the nail on its head, let's rattle off the many downsides of ending up with the wrong ASSUMPTIONS.  On a first-hand basis, let me share a reverse ASSUMPTION.  When I moved to a new company, I wanted to bring along our Network Specialist but he was hesitant and doubtful because he thought he WON'T fit. Fast-forward, when I recommended him, he got hired and signed off a job offer with a 600% salary increase compared to his existing salary at that time.  This is REVERSE ASSUMPTION❗❗❗

Now, for that 'KNOCKOUT PUNCH' that will floor you down with the WRONG ASSUMPTIONs.  Taking action based upon ASSUMPTIONS seems like the sure-fire way to make a bad decision.  After all, you got to realize that you're NOT working with all the FACTS so your next decision will likely doom you💊💊💊

Oh yes, I've met a lot of people who have many places they're wanting to go but they NEVER did because they perceive travelling as dangerous.  In some Third World countries, they tightened the immigration rules such that travelers had to be scrutinized.  Talking about old age, many septuagenarians and octogenarians refuse to travel because of OLD AGE ?!@#$ In our home, my 76-year old father-in-law has been in tow with us in all our overseas travels [even prior to the pandemic].  He simply defied ASSUMPTIONS.  So, if we're HARD WIRED with ASSUMPTIONS, CUT THAT CRAP📗📙📘

Of Trials and Tribulations

Of Trials and Tribulations

Today, American teenager Coco Gauff mounted a fierce comeback to win the 2023 U.S. Open Women's title and claim her first ever grand slam title.  To quote Coco Gauff:  "YOU KNOW THAT FRENCH OPEN LOSS [in last year's finals] WAS A HEARTBREAK FOR ME BUT I REALIZED THAT GOD PUTS YOU THROUGH Trials and Tribulations AND THIS MAKES THIS MOMENT EVEN SWEETER THAN I CAN IMAGINE"❗❗❗

While Trials and Tribulations get frequently link to the Bible, to God and even Christian Life and even Islam, trust me, this has got nothing to do with them but even to an atheist, Trials and Tribulations are a FACT of LIFE to be dealt with.  Without referencing Christianity, even Mohammad Yunus, a clinical professor of medicine at Florida State University, referred to the Quran and the Sunnah as to WHY we do face Trials and Tribulations❓❓❓

Oh indeed when Trials and Tribulations do hit us, it should be pretty normal when bad things happen in life, even the thoughts we have about them have a big impact on how much they [may] harm us BUT rather than struggle and whine with our Trials and Tribulations, do consider these basic self-reflecting questions, if any of these are relevant and worth asking✅✅✅

Questions like: IS THIS GOING TO MATERIALLY HURT ME OVER A PERIOD OF TIME?  [If not, then I should NOT be upset].  OR IS THERE SOME HIDDEN UPSIDE i DIDN'T NOTICE?  [OR this may end up beneficial to me?]  OR is this the kind of bad thing that I should have anticipated❓❓❓

OR COULD SOMETHING EVEN WORSE HAVE HAPPENED THAT DIDN'T?  [OR are there other people who've ended up much worse than me, which makes me LOOK LUCKY?  And, WHAT UNEXPECTED 'GOOD THINGS' HAPPENED TO ME THAT OFFSET MY 'BAD LUCK'?  indeed, regardless of faith and religion [and even to an atheist],  Trials and Tribulations should NOT be the death knell of our lives❎❎❎

Forgetfulness, Anyone?

Forgetfulness, Anyone?

Forgetfulness, Anyone?  Does it bother you?  Oh oh oh, as we mature, it's but natural that we do get to miss out a thing or two, getting mixed up with A versus B, and so on.  BUT the challenge is that many maturing adults do worry about their memory [and, lo and behold, even their thinking abilities].  As an example, they might be concerned about taking longer than before to learn new things OR they may sometimes forget to pay a bill💎💎💎

BTW, those changes are usually signs of 'mild forgetfulness' which, according to experts, are often a normal part of aging and really likely, NOT related to serious memory problems.  Which reminds me, we have an octogenarian neighbor who has been living by her own self [to my personal knowledge, the past twelve years ever since we became neighbors].  And just last week, we noticed her unit was eerily dark in the evening for consecutive days.  Only to find out that her electricity source was cut-off by the local electricity provider because of unpaid bills.  Despite being an octogenarian, that's likely FORGETFULNESS📙📗📘

So, this question bothered me a bit.  As to WHAT really is the difference between normal, age-related forgetfulness and a serious memory problem?  Indeed it is normal to forget things once in a while as we age [last week, we drove out-of-town and coming back to the metro, I missed out the highway EXIT so I ended up driving further down by another ten miles, but I won't tag that as forgetfulness].  BUT what is dreaded are serious memory problems❗❗❗

As I cannot FAKE myself up as an expert, my sage advice is, go and seek medical advice where things get marginal, WHEN you seem to ask the same question over and over again.  WHEN you get lost in places a person knows pretty well.  WHEN you're having trouble following directions.  WHEN you're getting confused about time, people or places✅✅✅

Meanwhile, our FIX today is some D-I-Y tips.  TRY learning a new skill.  TRY following your daily routine.  TRY planning tasks.  TRY preparing a TO-DO List.  TRY putting your wallet, purse, keys, phone and eyeglasses in the same place each day.  TRY getting enough sleep [yesirrrrreee, we are all advised to take AT LEAST eight hours of sound sleep everyday].  Here's hoping that your FORGETFULNESS, if at all, is a one-off💖💚💙

It's Hogwash To Say That The GRASS IS GREENER OVER THERE

It's Hogwash To Say That The GRASS IS GREENER OVER THERE

I stumbled across this sharing in Quora.com last August 31st wherein the person was claiming he was so DEPRESSED because he is still living in that  Southeast Asian country [apologies I am unable to identify that country].  He claims he's depressed because he's seeing many fellow citizens migrating.  Is it true that the GRASS IS GREENER AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE❓❓❓

So, that writer was implying that the GRASS was indeed GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE?  Someone retorted that the writer as to WHAT is/was causing his DEPRESSION.  And the respondent went on to share the fact that he has seen residents in the Third World who were living way below the poverty lines BUT looked happy WHEREAS, he has seen the reverse in the First World💎💎💎

Yesirrrrrs I can attest to that response because I was born in a Third World country and once in my life, I did live in a First World country [for about nine years].  I lived, breathed and ate on both worlds and that first person attestations CAN'T be farther from the truth.  Living and mixing it up with people who were living even below the poverty line.  And living with legit first world citizens BUT by and large, I saw them as an UNHAPPY lot✅✅✅

So, allow me to quote this captivating one-liner:  THE GRASS IS GREENER WHERE YOU WATER IT.  Exactly, you got to take care of the grass, water it, nurture it.  And that is where the parallelism with our life lies.  IF ONLY we dutifully take care of our life, IF ONLY we nurture and water it, then, it is NOT far fetch when one day, we will be singing Hossanahs to vouch that living our life now is the best💊💊💊

Now here's my sharing.  If I did venture over and lived in that First World country for nine years, it was because I firmly believed that the very 'high goal post' I set for myself can be best achieved in that First World country.  BUT once I did achieve my pre-set goals in that First World country, the next thing I did was to go to my native country's embassy to REACQUIRE my previous citizenship and [on the same breadth], renounce my citizenship ⏳⏳⏳

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?  YES and NO.  It is NOT a TALKING POINT if you just went through you daily morning exercise and it is NOT a TALKING POINT if this is NOT the fifth time you're feeling it this week.  YES it is a TALKING POINT if you feel as though you're dragging through your days feeling weary, weak and listless, then YES, FATIGUE has arrived at your doorstep💊💊💊

BUT our challenge is to distinguish that fine line between being FATIGUED versus merely TIRED.  Generally, FATIGUE means NO amount of sleep helps you to feel refreshed.  It's akin to barely getting through the day without becoming that exhausted.  And while getting TIRED and FATIGUED does overlap, when everyday things like walking to the bathroom or doing the dishes wear you out, that's it📌📌📌

It is true you might chalk it up to getting older since FATIGUE is commonly viewed as a normal part of aging instead of a symptom of a possible underlying ailment BUT often, somethin' is amiss.  WHEN it lingers for weeks or months, FATIGUE is a problem that needs to be solved.  And there's a long list of conditions that lead to it💎💎💎

I am NO medical expert but my limited viewpoint as a layman points to a short list of causes.  What scares me is when FATIGUE creeps to become chronic, with those prolonged tiredness, fever and aches.  Being a layman, my recommended FIX is fairly logical and practical.  Go and seek medical consultation when things really turn 'DEEP SOUTH' because that trending should alarm anyone no less.  Take the simple things like you can't climb the stairs OR you're manifesting a shortness of breath OR if suddenly you're nodding off in the middle of the day [WHEN you never used to]. those are BIG warning signs that will only go BIGGER as you turn your attention the other side of it❗❗❗

Now, here's my add-on FIX which you may kindly consider.  WHEN you're TIRED,  the last thing you may feel like doing is exercising BUT that's exactly WHAT can help break that cycle of persistent FATIGUE to reboot your energy levels.  To quote a medical study i stumbled across, EXERCISE can beat FATIGUE because by increasing the blood flow to the muscles and organs, releasing FEEL-GOOD chemicals called ENDORPHINS.  So, it is due, FATIGUE is our talking point✅✅✅

BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships

BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships

Heard of Warren Buffett?  He is a 93 yr old American business magnate with his latest NET WORTH pegged at USD 120 Bn., whew but we won't meddle to deep-dive into his financial arsenal but instead piggy-back when he was quoted recently "I JUST SIT IN MY OFFICE AND READ ALL DAY'  but what was left unsaid is that what catapulted him to his financial chest is his dogged pursuit for BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships throughout his lifetime📘📙📗

Without replicating OR cloning Warren Buffett [because that's next to impossible], what the close coterie of Warren Buffett all say in unison is that this ultra successful business magnate simply 'ATTACHED HIMSELF TO EVERYONE WHO COULD HELP HIM AND COATTAILED ANYONE HE COULD FIND AS SMART'.  In two words, Buffet shares his secret to his SUCCESS in two words💎💎💎

So the real OPEN SECRET to Buffet's SUCCESS has been KNOWLEDGE and RELATIONSHIPS.  Knowing WHOM to call and WHAT to ask.  Knowing WHOM he could help and WHO can help him led him to gain insights in his dogged pursuit for KNOWLEDGE.   And the most admirable trait here is that he NEVER waivered in his pursuit for KNOWLEDGE in his lifetime✅✅✅

There was this short study of two groups assigned with the topic "WHAT IS GLUTEN?'  One group was given internet access while the other group was NOT.  The end-result was shocking.  That 'GOOGLE GROUP' overrated their understanding and this was explained by experts that searching the internet for explanatory knowledge creates an illusion whereby people mistake ACCESS TO INFORMATION as KNOWLEDGE, what❓❓❓

And that's WHEN and WHERE relationship building comes in.  Having Buffett as our role model here, let us endeavor to 'ATTACH' ourselves to people WHO can help us which is as important to people WHO we can help.  So folks, nothing fancy here.  BUILDING KNOWLEDGE + RELATIONSHIP BUILDING are the cornerstones we need to put in place in life❗❗❗