Remaining Calm When Triggered

Remaining Calm When Triggered

Staying CALM during challenging [and sometimes turbulent] times is easier said than done.  Whether you live in Europe, Americas, Middle East OR Asia [OR jokingly, even if you live in the high seas in the middle of South China Sea], there are numerous tense situations [call it turmoil to be blunt] BUT that's the least of our concerns because what matters most is our personal life.  So, WHEN you get into heated situations, How was it, Remaining Calm When Triggered?  If I may guess, a plurality of times, we were unable to retain our consistent CALMNESS, not to our fault BTW.  So, our thread today is how can we endeavor to Remain Calm When Triggered📗📙📘

Nowadays, simply tuning in to the daily news is likely to be stressful.  Add the stresses of our daily life, you will have at hand a hodge-podge of variables that can trigger you away from your CALMNESS anytime [especially at your most unguarded moments].  Coping with family issues like illness, caregiving OR [even, especially] financials, you may likely end up begin to greet each day with apprehension and worry.  In other words, you can end up anxious💧💧💧

Psychiatrists tell us that some degree of anxiety is pretty normal [and sometimes necessary, else it may falsely lead you to think that life is a bed of roses].  BUT when anxiety creeps in, it signals us that something is awry OR might need your attention.  However, you DON'T want the response to become exaggerated OR to dominate your life.  Good coping mechanisms for stress and anxiety can help us stay grounded [and hopefully healthy] even during the worst of turbulent times in life❎❎❎

Now, this gets interesting [however, convoluted].  NOT every anxiety should be passed on as an everyday anxiety. The flip side of everyday anxiety can lead you to worse situations you would have least expected. WHEN you get obsessed about finances to the point WHEN these thoughts would then interfere with your daily life. WHEN you end up with panic attacks WHERE you break out in a sweat, shake and end up with palpitations.  WHEN you're terrified of something that DOESN'T pose a threat to you, like that colored RED, and do everything you can to avoid it.  WHEN you avoid social situations out of fear that people will laugh at OR judge you😕😕😕

Our takeaway:  We may want to begin things by considering WHETHER our anxiety is normal OR whether we have an anxiety disorder which experts define as symptoms that have plagued you for the last recent months. And if your anxiety has interfered with your daily life for a while, we are counselled to consider any of these:

• TALK ABOUT IT-Explain your situation to family and friends
• TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF-Take healthy, tasty meals
• KEEP A LIST-Write down every worry or fear that creeps 
• USE CALMING TECHNIQUES-Get into mindfulness, relaxation or even download smartphone apps that will guide you Bottomline:  Let's REMAIN CALM [even WHEN TRIGGERED]

Why Rush To Overcome Fear?

Why Rush To Overcome Fear?

To state that we want to conquer FEAR may be quite a strong word, stronger than WHAT we receive.  YES, FEAR describes overcoming an obstacle, an enemy.  I find that FEAR is a formidable enemy [regardless of your FEAR], so the way to go is to conquer FEAR BUT allow me to ask, Why Rush To Overcome Fear?  Is there a deadline?  An imprimatur? A final call?📗📙📘

Neuroscientists tell us that our human brain and body are beyond facination in their design.  And that every thought and emotion that we experience and every action we take is the result of an electrochemical reaction occurring inside the most advanced chemical factory on the planet.  And as learned from the experts, we have those 'happy hormones', e.g. oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin and dopamine.  As humans, we innately seek out experiences that increase our serum levels of these chemicals in our bloodstream.  And many of us have at least one outlet that we use to boost this endogenous drug production.  An almost unlimited number of activities exist to satisfy our cravings.  WHETHER it's our craving to eat delicious foods, OR gambling OR even drug abuse, the root cause of many addictions lies within a person's subconscious need to achieve a certain dose of their neurochemical of choice💧💧💧

Sharing a bit of HAPPY HORMONES 101:

• DOPAMINE - The 'REWARD HORMONE' or the 'FEEL GOOD HORMONE'
• OXYTOCIN - The 'LOVE HORMONE' known to increase trust
• SEROTONIN -The 'CALM HORMONE' for well-being and happiness
• ENDORPHINS - The 'WILL POWER HORMONE' that helps create good habits

It's a fact that FEAR is an emotion provoked by a threat of danger OR harm OR even pain.  And true, everyone experiences fear at some time.  It's a normal part of life and can protect us from harm.  True, FEAR can be caused by a real threat [like that angry snarling dog] OR by an imagined threat.  WHERE FEAR is due to an imagined threat, it can usually be overcome by logic and reason.  BUT here's the thing.  NEVER RUSH to overcome FEAR because that should take it's natural course💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Things may turn to worse before it improves.  A persistent FEAR that becomes irrational and 'out of proportion' to the situation has been termed as PHOBIA but we're NOT referring to typical PHOBIAs here but more on the mental obstacles that sometimes mean that we simply need to resolve concerns on our feelings of anxiety [a.k.a. excessive worry].  A practical advice from the experts:  Let us try to OVERCOME FEARS is to do the very thing you are anxious about and WHICH causes FEAR😗😗😗

[BREAKING NEWS]: Life's Simple Pleasures Are FREE!

[BREAKING NEWS]:  Life's Simple Pleasures Are FREE!

[BREAKING NEWS]:  Life's Simple Pleasures Are FREE!.  You DON'T need to BREAK THE BANK at all!!!  It could look so simple  like WHEN you stayed late last night.  Then you hit the pillow at 3am.  Then you woke up five hours later barely crawling out of your bed.  Then you grabbed your shirt and headed out for your breakfast.  Then the sunlight just started to reflect off the morning dew.  Then you took several steps, then you found the spot WHERE the sun perfectly landed on your face.  Then you stood out there for a minute with eyes closed.  Then the energy from the sun filled you with joy.  Then you wanted time to freeze.  You wanted that moment to stay forever.  Then you realized you are enjoying one of life's most underrated pleasures AND IT'S FREE!!!

WHERE does this bring us to?  Surprisingly, a fairly new topic of interest by psychologists revolves around GRATITUDE.  And as GRATITUDE has many benefits, various researches show that individuals WHO are more grateful tend to be happier and healthier than those WHO are less grateful.  That grateful disposition is related to subjective well-being. Experts also claim that GRATITUDE also has its social benefits and they found out that it even builds and enhances friendships.  They suggest this occurs because people WHO experience GRATITUDE on a regular basis are likely to feel cared for by others.  Additionally, they suggests that GRATITUDE reflects and motivates in both the gift giver and recipient.  Piggy-backing on that assumption, they suggests that grateful feelings may make the gift recipient likely to respond to acts of kindness by acknowledging the benefit and expressing appreciation and thankfulness☝☝☝

Now, in our everyday life, a perfect day does NOT have to be extraordinary.  True, it is tempting to spend our lives pursuing the extraordinary, all the while missing out on the wonder that lies within life's more SIMPLE PLEASURES.  As the Singaporean would characteristically ask, "SO HOW?"  To do that though, we have to learn how to savor life itself, to actively look for the joy waiting to be found in WHAT we otherwise might consider mundane.  WHEN we discover HOW to do this, it's akin for us to get an instant life upgrade.  WITHOUT spending any more money, without having to visit an exotic holiday destination, without having to buy some new gadget, we get to have a richer life simply through a change of perspective💧💧💧

Feeling pressed to get everything done at this time of the year?  Many people think that the answer is to put their nose to the grindstone and set aside PLEASURE.  Now, things become interesting because very recently, psychologists found that a specific kind of PLEASURE, specifically SIMPLE PLEASURE, helps you to make progress on your daily goals, particularly WHEN life feels challenging and quite stressful too😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  Let's keep things SIMPLE enough.  And our SIMPLE PLEASURES could be those brief, positive, emerge in everyday settings and are accessible to most people at little OR no cost in fact.  They are highly personal, meaning WHAT is a simple pleasure for you may NOT be a SIMPLE PLEASURE for others.  Taking a walk in the sun, having a cup of tea with a close friend, OR getting green traffic lights [whew, i love that, seriously] all the way to work.  WHAT matters most is that SIMPLE PLEASURES bring you joy and happiness, unlike those temptations WHICH bring no less BUT torment and conflict❗❗❗

Why Doing LESS May Mean MORE

All along in our lives, almost everyone of us grew up being taught and mentored that doing MORE is the way to go.  And that carries through our adulthood.  BUT ISN'T it that focusing on one thing is greater than focusing on many things at once?  So, Why Doing LESS May Mean MORE?  True, we all want to chase many things.  And somehow, it seems that being LESS is like limiting ourselves to our bigger capabilities in life📗📙📘

Then, we were taught further that if you keep limiting yourself, you might be wasting your time trying to reach your full potential.  This is WHY being LESS is touted to be useless and NOT the way to succeed.  And we get harangued, like, START GRABBING AS MANY SHINY THINGS AS SOON AS YOU CAN.  So, is that HOW you achieve success?  Oh, apparently, these days, everything is now MORE, MORE, MORE.  Aim for this and that.  Find this and that.  Pursue this and that.  We all have heard that, and even like crypto, coding, freelance and many more💦💦💦

Go to social media.  A lot of people in Youtube and other platforms recommend donkey ways to become rich and richer.  This is when FOMO [that FEAR OF MISSING OUT] gets into the picture as it leads us to grab many shiny things and once we have it, it becomes hard to get out because of the money, time, and sacrifices that we have poured out💥💥💥

Dude, we CAN'T go back and let all of that be wasted, right?  This is caused a lot by that FEAR OF MISSING OUT.  We tried to become more and more and more.  Trying to grab many things at once.  BUT the biggest underlying problem is that focusing on many things is a BIG LIE.  Let's swing back to real-life scenarios. LIKE you want to focus 20% on investing, 20% on your job, and 20% on working.  Hey hey hey, that's actually NOT focusing BUT that's diversifying.  You tend to spread your focus on each activity you are working on.  This is the BIG LIE that most people are holding right now.  Most people think that grabbing many things and focusing on all of them is actually focus💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let us NOT lose track of our priorities and WHERE possible, let us NOT go off-grid by getting into that DIVERSIFICATION of our focus, which effectively is a classic case of distraction.  Moreover, once we end up 'segmenting' our time, we need to realize that at the end of the day, we may end up with 3, 4 or 5 tasks all ongoing BUT NOTHING accomplished.  Indeed, DOING LESS MAY BE MORE💧💧💧

[Sometimes] Our Own Ambition Is Our Problem

[Sometimes] Our Own Ambition Is Our Problem!@#$%?

[Sometimes] Our Own Ambition Is Our Problem!@#$%? Here we go again.  AMBITION is generally regarded as a good thing.  And the whole world really loves a go-getter.  People WHO want to save the planet, populate other planets and make trillions of dollars WHILE doing so.  WHATEVER gets the boat floating.  That explains WHY Elon Musk remains the world's #1 billionaire even as we speak now.  BUT again, SOMETIMES, OUR OWN AMBITION IS THE PROBLEM.  DON'T look farther folks📘📙📗

Unfortunately, a big fraction of us all do fall prey to our own AMBITIONS.  In excess, AMBITION damages reputations, relationships and can lead to catastrophic failure.  On the other hand, too little AMBITION can make the person in question look lazy OR worse, unmotivated.  Further, it can result in mediocre performance, boredom and a bleak sense of futility.  BUT again, fostering a healthy level of AMBITION is NOT that easy, and amidst so much uncertainty, it may seem like a low priority💥💥💥

BUT, a well-balanced AMBITION leads to creativity and innovation, greater levels of performance and deeper levels of joy and satisfaction at work, WHEREVER work may be.  Having that 'pause button' hit makes this a wonderful time for us to step back and reflect on our professional and even personal aspirations.  For a while in the past, I'll admit I felt AMBITIOUS.  OR at the very least, I tried to be one😌😌😌

After al, culture's 'conditioning machine' had been convincing me that I should be AMBITIOUS.  BUT here's the thing.  Deep down inside me [during those years of unabated AMBITION], I just wanted to sit outside, enjoy the sun, and generally take things easy and comfy enough.  And you know WHAT?  Our society will make you believe that it's WRONG to want that!@#$%?

Our takeaway:  In the dictionary, AMBITION is simply that strong desire for success, achievement, power and wealth.  WHICH is fair game!  BUT through the years, I did notice a subtle shift in the usage of the word itself, an almost imperceptible stepping back in its use.  Perhaps, the current models of great ambition are either politicians OR business moguls like Elon Musk, more on power and wealth and less on success and achievement.  It now seems that people would rather chase dreams OR visions and not AMBITION as there has been a growing NEGATIVITY about it.  Either way dude, you got to strike the 'right' balance between low and high AMBITION so you end up on the right flank❗❗❗

How Often Do You PASS THE ROCK?

How Often Do You PASS THE ROCK?  With an analogy with the NBA world, it's quite straightforward to ask that question.  Some players are 'ball hoggers' while some players seem to suffer from 'trigger' phobia, afraid to PASS THE ROCK.  BUT that analogy seems easier in a ballgame like basketball.  WHAT IF the game you're playing, you're the only one?  HOW does PASSING THE ROCK become relevant WHEN we're all by our own self???

LIKE when you're out there hunting by your own self, the outcome of any approach, opportunity OR shot is altogether between the hunter and his OR her own reflection in the mirror, right?  WHEN hunting with a buddy OR your guide, there might be a couple of witnesses BUT ours in life is mostly a solitary pursuit.  At one time, the hunter's desire for success might have been guided by hunger.  For some, it's less simpler💧💧💧

For many, meat on the table remains a primary and valid motivation to hunt, though today, starvation is very rarely a possible consequence at all.  Instead, in life, we are guided more by conscience, sense of ethics and the drive to perform well.  All these do boil down to one word spelled C-O-U-R-A-G-E.  Many people equate COURAGE with fearlessness BUT experts protest that this is a faulty interpretation because COURAGE involves taking action in spite of the fear you feel💦💦💦

Psychologists tell us that COURAGE is that willingness to respond even when you have feelings of anxiety and worry.  So, we are advised to NEVER beat our own selves OR assume that you are NOT courageous if you feel fearful.  Instead, to be courageous means that you are able to act even WHEN fearful.  Additionally, the more we face our fears, the more we can replace our fear-based response with a courageous one instead😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Many times in life when I stumbled across a discussion [sometimes an argument] with regard courageousness, people often assume that courageousness is something you're either born with OR not.  WHILE it is true that some people could be more predisposed to displaying courage based on its connection to certain personality traits, this virtue is more like a muscle.  Everyone has the ability to become more courageous with the right practice and mindset.  Think about it, BEFORE YOU PASS THE ROCK❗❗❗

When You Keep Putting Something Off!

When You Keep Putting Something Off!

When You Keep Putting Something Off, we are told to please NOT to blame ourselves.  INSTEAD, we got to figure things out.  Do you FEAR failure?  OR is the task itself uninteresting?  OR are you overwhelmed?  OR do you feel you're unprepared OR not qualified to do it?  OR are you distracted by something else you care about more?  OR were you just pressured OR coerced [against your will] to do it?  Either ways, it is imperative to figure out WHY When You Keep Putting Something Off!!!

IF you've ever put off an important task by, say, alphabetizing your spice drawer, you know it WON'T be fair to describe yourself as lazy.  After all, alphabetizing requires focus and effort and MAYBE you even went that XTRA MILE to wipe down each bottle before putting it back.  And it's NOT like you're hanging out with friends OR you're into movie streaming, e.g. Netflix.  A common symptom here is procrastination💥💥💥

BTW, procrastination is more than just voluntarily delaying.  Procrastination is also derived from that Greek word ''akrasia', which means, doing something against our better judgment.  Even psychologists termed this as 'SELF-HARM'.  That self-awareness is a key part of WHY procrastinating makes us feel so 'rotten'.  WHEN we procrastinate, we're NOT only aware that we're avoiding the task in question BUT also that doing so is probably a 'bad' idea.  And yet, we do it anyway💧💧💧

This leads me to explicitly state that procrastination is essentially irrational.  It just DOESN'T make sense to do something you know is going to have negative consequences.  Studies showed that people engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.  Not surprisingly, procrastination ISN'T a unique character flaw😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Let us dissect things in simpler terms.  The particular nature of our aversion depends on the given task OR situation.  It may be due to something inherently unpleasant about the task itself [like as boring as cleaning our very own bathroom] BUT it might also result from deeper feelings related to the task such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, anxiety or an underlying insecurity.  Think about it, WHEN YOU KEEP PUTTING SOMETHING OFF [over and over again]!@#$%?

[ADVISORY from Apple & Microsoft] Your Urgent Attention Needed [Please ignore if actioned by now]

 

EN TOTO, pasted below the urgent alerts from both Apple and Microsoft.   Please ignore this advisory IF you don't have windows or apple devices OR relevant actions have been done.

On Tuesday, March 11, Apple dropped a series of updates for its devices. That includes iOS 18.3.2 for iPhones; iPadOS 18.3.2 for iPads, macOS Sequoia 15.3.2 for Macs, Safari 18.3.1, tvOS 18.3.1, and visionOS 2.3.2 for Apple Vision Pro.

"Impact: Maliciously crafted web content may be able to break out of Web Content sandbox. This is a supplementary fix for an attack that was blocked in iOS 17.2. (Apple is aware of a report that this issue may have been exploited in an extremely sophisticated attack against specific targeted individuals on versions of iOS before iOS 17.2.)"

It appears an out-of-bounds write issue (which happens when a program writes data that does not belong to it) allowed bad actors to attack users running versions of iOS older than 17.2. Apple's language implies that these are capable actors with specific targets, and while Apple doesn't say, it's possible that involves high-profile personalities such as politicians or journalists. The company says the issue was blocked in iOS 17.2, but since there are users who were attacked running earlier versions of iOS, it seems this update was necessary regardless.

Microsoft's released its monthly Patch Tuesday update for March 2025 to fix 57 bugs across Windows, Office, Azure, and other Microsoft systems. Seven of the patches address zero-day vulnerabilities, six of which have been actively exploited.  According to Bleeping Computer, this month's update fixes 23 elevation of privilege flaws, three security feature bypass flaws, 23 remote code execution flaws, four information disclosure flaws, one denial of service flaw, and three spoofing flaws

Seven of the flaws fixed were zero-day vulnerabilities, which allow bad actors to exploit systems before an official patch is released by developers. In this case, six of the seven zero-day vulnerabilities were actively exploited, while one was publicly exposed—so it's only a matter of time before actors exploit this seventh vulnerability, as well.

Just to share with our readership here, I maintain my own security tracker of all the attempts coming from all over the globe and NOT to unduly raise fear or worst cyberphobia OR logizomechanophobia [WHICH is defined as extreme fear of using or being around computers, potentially leading to avoidance and significant anxiety].  So, as laymen and non-techies, WHAT can we proactively do for now?  Please ensure that your login accounts are IMPENETRABLE with passwords that should NOT be dates of birth, anniversaries and the like.  At least for passwords, let's be wiser than these unforgiving scammers💥💥💥

Anniversaries Are For WHAT?

Anniversaries Are For WHAT?  

Anniversaries Are For WHAT? For celebrations?  For kanpai/kampai?  Of course, absolutely.  BUT where's the crack?  Correct me if my observation is off-grid BUT more often, ANNIVERSARIES get hard-wired with celebrations.  WHICH is sad because traditionally, ANNIVERSARIES are our opportunity and chance to reflect on a relationship OR a milestone that was achieved [OR call it implanted] on that date.  WHATEVER the ANNIVERSARY is, it gives us a chance to look back over the years since the event we're marking and reflect on HOW it has shaped or transpired on that date sometime ago.  LOOKING BACK means a lot and it can be insightful.  ANNIVERSARIES are an important part of our life.  They remind us of important events [both personal and even cultural]  WHETHER we're marking a birthday, a wedding OR a momentous event in our life [OR even the death of a loved one], an ANNIVERSARY puts a pin on the calendar to remind us of something that matters to us📗📙📘

BTW, ANNIVERSARIES aren't always about celebration.  Most of us will have a day WHEN we remember a friend OR family member who's died and NO ONE should feel embarrassed about feeling emotional OR sad.  It can be helpful if the people around you give a little extra leeway on the day itself.  OR make an extra effort to pick up the phone OR send a message so you know you're NOT alone in thinking of that person💥💥💥

YES, there are fixed dates through the year WHEN we share collective memories, like those who died in wars OR conflicts, OR to mark the passing of time since that dreadful September 11.  YES, they are collectively important for communities and sometimes across cultures and countries.  BUT within our lives, let us NOT lose sight of the fact that ANNIVERSARIES serve an important psychological purpose because they are like CHECKPOINTS in time❗❗❗

ANNIVERSARIES are reminders for us to pull over and remember the people we used to be as well.  And those times become moments of reflection and even observe how memories itself will evolve over time.  NOT to politicize things, I remember a public holiday celebrated here in my country where everyone from one side of the political spectrum will come in droves, ending up blocking the main highways, to celebrate the death of a declared 'national hero'📌📌📌

Our takeaway:  In the shortest words, ANNIVERSARIES are with us for the following:

• YES, it's a MILESTONE!
• YES, it's a chance to RECONNECT!
• YES, it's a chance to be REFLECTIVE!
• Ooops, it's an excuse for a GETAWAY!
• And YES, a time to look forward to the future!

Is BOREDOM Good For Us?

Is BOREDOM Good For Us?

IF there is a five-letter word I dread the most, it is the word ' B-O-R-E-D'! BUT hey, psychologists tell us that BOREDOM is Good For Us?  REALLY?  Sadly, since time immemorial, BOREDOM has gained that 'notoriety' and reputation for being a NEGATIVE state of mind BUT now, studies show that BOREDOM has its innate benefits for our mental health, like improving creativity, curiosity and even self-control.  BUT hey, let us be cautioned that everyone's brain is unique and different, so BOREDOM can be an individual experience.  NO WAY should we expect to replicate one's experience to his siblings or immediate family📗📙📘

Even neuro-scientists have joined the fray on the basis that our brain works 24/7.  Surprisingly to me as a layman, EVEN when we're asleep, the brain NEVER sleeps.  Instead, it is resolving solutions, making decisions and thinking about possibilities even WHEN you're NOT aware of it.  That explains WHY our brain is tagged as the 'ALWAYS ON' organ so devoted, it NEVER takes a break OR a vacation like we do😌😌😌

According to brain scientists, for every single ability you have, you have brain cells that are communicating even if you're just walking, you have brain cells communicating with the muscles to move.  So, YES, our brain is constantly at work.  They do eat and even create waste, so sleep is the optimal time for the waste to get cleared out between the cells so they can actually function.  Let's look at our daily life in relation to the garbage collectors WHEN they go on strike.  That's exactly the same thing going on with our brain cells💧💧💧

If we wake up to an alarm before your own system is ready to wake up, you would have cut part of a cycle of sleep off that your brain wanted.  So, sleep is all about rejuvenating our brain.  An alarming study showed that sleep restrictions actually amplify your anger.  It's AS IF the brain gets mad WHEN it DOESN'T get the rest it needs.  You might wonder, do you just SIT AND DO NOTHING?  Oh Oh Oh, I can imagine you yourself rolling your eyes, glancing at your TO-DO list.  You're up to eyeballs at work, deadlines looming and you CAN'T even find enough hours in the day to juggle emails, work remotely and even 'home school' your kids.  It's counter-intuitive BUT doing nothing is productivity's 'BRAKES' to do something💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Allow me to share this very recent observation I had here at home WHEN we got hit with an outage by our ISP [internet service provider].  And I did notice my daughter's BOREDOM was getting stretched, so I even egged her to turn-on her room's aircon BUT I ended up doing it myself.  In a bit, I noticed she was tinkering with her tons and tons of 'little-little' stuff of accessories and she started piecing together to design and started customizing bracelets she will gift to her close friends.  That was just a typical but classic scenario WHEN boredom can be that catalyst for us to throttle up our CREATIVITY.  Oh Oh Oh, for vapers and smokers WHO will immediately light up a cigarette stick OR even grab a shot of alcohol just because he's BORED, better be FOREWARNED and forearmed [no offense meant here]❗❗❗