FOCUS Issue?

FOCUS Issue?

FOCUS Issue? Normally, this is NOT something that's quite earthshaking as everyone's attention tends to drift at times, like when you lose concentration for a moment while doing routine tasks.  Many people shrug off these lapses in FOCUS as 'senior moments' BUT they might be related to a vulnerable brain process which psychologists call as "EXECUTIVE FUNCTION', which as per research, that helps to plan, make decisions, and even pay attention.  But these experts claim that this 'EXECUTIVE FUNCTION' peaks alongside other brain functions in your early 20s and gradually diminishes over time💴💷💵

Good news to us all, that 'degradation' process is slow.  Having said this, studies show that everyone's brain is wired and programmed differently, and some people struggle with attention more than others.  And if such symptoms do surface, let us NOT ignore it as likely there is an underlying condition📗📙📘

Meanwhile, Harvard Medical recommends that we contain such degraded FOCUS by:

• TRACK that lack of attention.  
• PRACTICE mindfulness meditation.
• STOP distractions, e.g. notifications, devices
• WORK in blocks of time - research shows that working in small chunks of time with rest and break in between to help improve FOCUS
• ENGAGE your brain - get involved in things that need more mental effort
• STAY SOCIAL - social engagements protects against loneliness, which leads to depression, anxiety and stress📌📌📌

As DISTRACTIONS are infinite, it's essential you remove certain behaviors from your life.  But removing such behaviors is just the very first step because at the end of the day, FOCUS is a skill.  It can be developed over time.  BUT that's far down the road yet as you need to set yourself up for SUCCESS for now✅✅✅

To start on our 'baby steps', let us FOCUS in 'obliterating' MULTI-TASKING.  Studies have showed that MULTI-TASKING is 'melting' our brain.  It is stopping us from being able to FOCUS on one thing at a time.  And as a result, that is leading us to create a 'below average' work.  If you're trying to write something while listening to music with repetitive lyrics, very likely you will NOT be able write anything substantive.  But dude, let's aim for this low-hanging fruit❗❗❗

OLD Keys Won't Open NEW Doors

OLD Keys Won't Open NEW Doors

Our thread today has got nothing to do with locksmith stuff but OLD Keys Won't Open NEW Doors simply tells us that in life, OLD WAYS will NOT lead us to NEW results at all.  No doubt is filled with a hell lot of opportunities and potentials awaiting to be uncorked and discovered.  And this is what makes life worth living as it offers each and every one of us the privilege of making our decision that will mold what we're going to be in the future.  To be brutally frank, this implies that we should leave our COMFORT ZONE, NO ifs, NO buts💴💷💵

So, WHY should we leave our COMFORT ZONE?  Indeed, stepping outside and beyond our COMFORT ZONE can feel like a daunting task to take.  Then we hear one-liners like, LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, NOTHING GROWS IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE, STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE and so on📗📙📘

Now, for the SOFT SELL.  Why are we egging you to leave your COMFORT ZONE?  Primero, you'll NEVER know WHAT will happen.  One of the most obvious reasons WHY you should start taking chances is the fact that the outcome will always be a SURPRISE [whether GOOD or BAD] and even though there's always a RISK that things may end up worse than where you are in now.  BUT, there's always the flip side, that it will turn out nicely😀😀😀

Not to forget, those WHO are afraid of taking RISKS are always haunted by the tons and tons of WHAT IFs.  Dude, you DON'T want to be like them, do you?  Now, WHO wants REGRETS?  For those who have missed out taking the chance OR making the BIG LEAP, I guess you will agree that you have experienced a feeling of REGRET, right?  That unpleasant feeling will often occur especially if that RISK could actually help you become much better than WHAT you are right now.  Although it can be reassuring to take the safe side every once in a while, you MIGHT end up REGRETTING [if only you were MAN ENOUGH]❗❗❗

Now, have we thought about NEVER succeeding?  BUT life is all about taking risks and chances.  How can you get far in life if you're afraid of stepping out of your COMFORT ZONE?  Looking back, had I not taken that RISK, that LEAP of FAITH, to try luck in Singapore [initially with a working visa, until I became a permanent resident and until I became a naturalized Singapore citizen], I would NOT have gone this far.  And talking about TOUCHING LIVES, out of humility, I'll avoid mentioning how many lives are much better off because I risked going to Singapore [with just a parachute as a backup]💚💛💜

Attitude Tops The List

Attitude Tops The List

Throughout the years I screened job applicants, what will consume the hiring manager's time are the tons of top-heavy credentials of the candidates.  And that's excluding the window dressings we all expect in CV/Resumes. BUT I didn't spend much time except mapping the candidates with the basic pre-requisites. And I waited for the second phase because to me, Attitude Tops The List💵💴💷

In company recruitments, it's a no-brainer.  Three things we look for are either knowledge, skills and/or ATTITUDE.  And ATTITUDE TOPS THE LIST.  Because organizations DON'T want to have a basketful of apples OR eggs with one rotten one in it because a BAD ATTITUDE are more contagious than ever.  As we now work in 'networked' and collaborative environments, the isolated silos are gone📗📙📘

In short, as this post-it note says, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.  But if you think the ATTITUDE aspect is damn critical in company organizations, let us NOT lose sight that that precious ATTITUDE should still TOP THE LIST if you're looking for the partner you want to share your life with.  And when domestic circumstances get into the picture, that ATTITUDE factor can surface in various forms and shapes.  LAZY.  IRRESPONSIBLE.  DISRESPECTFUL.  INSENSITIVE.  PETTY.  UNACCOUNTABLE.  Name it.  All these manifestations can all manifest out of someone's ATTITUDE📌📌📌

And frankly, while in organizations and companies, someone who's a confirmed rotten apple OR egg can still be given the pink slip by HR, in your domestic affairs, there is simply NO HR department who will take care of someone who's confirmed to be a square peg in a round hole.  You're stuck with that person with serious ATTITUDINAL issues. And when you're stuck with someone carrying a bagful of ATTITUDINAL issues, you're stuck❎❎❎

So, what's our takeaway?  Be meticulous and incisive enough when figuring out the ATTITUDINAL-side of your prospect, whether he's a job candidate or he/she is the person you're contemplating to be your partner/spouse to share the rest of your lifetime.  Think about it.  He/she could be affluent, impressively working in the corporate world, a swashbuckling top sales performer but when you and him/her finally are under one roof OR one organization, think of the ramifications a rotten apple OR egg will impact you, your team, your life❗❗❗

NOT SO FAST, Dude

NOT SO FAST, Dude

Many times, we shoot from the hip much faster and even before we could validate OR digest things.  South Korean A-Lister actor Lee Sun-kyun was the latest one who took on his own life when he was accused of being a drug user by the police.  By the time the drug test result was NEGATIVE, hefty fines arising from commercial contracts had already been imposed on the poor actor.  Even after his death, his wife had to file for bankruptcy because they CAN'T pay the hefty fines imposed based on the onerous contracts📗📙📘

Allow me to share this Quora.com post by Norton Karp.

A boss is walking through his company observing his workers doing their jobs and happy that everything is humming along perfectly until he sees a young kid leaning against a wall doing nothing. Just staring at his phone and scrolling.

The boss is fuming. He storms up to the kid and yells; “WHAT DO YOU MAKE A WEEK?”

The young kid just stammers at the red-faced man; “Ah, about $250.”

The boss reaches into his pocket and starts counting out $500, shoves it into the startled kid's hand, and yells; “NOW GET OUT! AND DON’T COME BACK!!”

The kid hurriedly leaves.

A few seconds later, a junior manager walks out, looks around, and asks the boss; “Where’s that messenger waiting to take our package downtown?”

From those Wild Wild West movies I watched during my childhood, GUNSLINGERS from the Wild West often lived another day by quickly grabbing their Colt 45s to put an end to a threat.  The latest version of GUN SLINGING is happening everyday across the globe as salespeople 'shoot from the hip' in meetings with sales prospects, usually relying on memory alone for the questions asked.  This often leads to poor marksmanship as details are inevitably missed as they focus too much on WHAT they are going to ask next versus hearing every little nuance and detail being told to them.  In the end, they could miss their target📌📌📌

The above-mentioned Quora.com story is, of course, a joke, but it happens REAL-LIFE.  I do bear witness to countless times when people are prematurely judged either based on biases OR the unvalidated raw information  which, often, are plain and simple hogwash and baloney.  BUT what's troubling is that because of PREMATURE JUDGMENT, people get destroyed [hear that most recent suicide in South Korea] and even relationships end up NOT just strained but shattered❎❎❎

I may NOT be a law enforcement officer but it behooves on each one of us to advocate REASONABLE and JUST fair play.  Sad enough because when social media comes into the picture, one seemingly harmless rumor can get retweeted faster than the Australian bushfires.  NOT SO FAST, dude❌❌❌

Active Listening, Anyone?

Active Listening, Anyone?

What's the most simple obvious GIVEN in life ?It is the fact that when we speak, maybe 99% do LISTEN to us.  BUT Active Listening, Anyone?  For alignment, allow me to quote from Mr Google which defines ACTIVE LISTENING as a way of LISTENING and RESPONDING to another person that improves mutual understanding.  So, back to my frank question:  How often do we do ACTIVE LISTENING?  Probably, a plurality do.  You'll be surprised with the numbers below📗📙📘

Surveys show that between 70-80% of the day we're engaged in some form of communication, of which, 55% is devoted to LISTENING.  But WHAT is quite alarming is that on average, the average LISTENER only remembers a measly 25% of a talk OR conversation😑😑😑

Thing is, oftentimes, we DON'T retain WHAT we hear.  In fact, the tests from Harvard Business Review attests that the average LISTENER does remember 25% [ONLY] of a talk or lecture.  ACTIVE LISTENING requires much deeper attention and empathy, which ideally leads to greater understanding.  It is the practice of paying FULL ATTENTION to what someone is saying in order to demonstrate unbiased reflection😀😀😀

This is NOT just about the benefits to our career.  Empathy, the very basis of ACTIVE LISTENING, is crucial in building meaningful relationships.  ACTIVE LISTENING can even help you to manage your emotions, retain data or information much better and where there are gaps, conflicts or disconnects, ACTIVE LISTENING is very key in helping resolve such conflicts📌📌📌

The rising demand for social and emotional skills [and that includes ACTIVE LISTENING] is projected to grow by more than 20% between 2016 and 2030 and that projection cuts across industries.  BTW, won't you get FRUSTRATED [at the very least] if you're talking intently but obviously, the person you're talking to, simply blurts back with his spiel?  Time for ACTIVE LISTENING, anyone please❗❗❗

Clearing the Fog

Clearing the Fog

Our thread today will be quite unique [and I hope, NOT so boring] because for the longest time, I have to make a personal 'confession' that is indeed more personal than anything else.  Hence, our today, I borrowed this title 'Clearing the Fog' from the Harvard Medical article I was skimming awhile ago.  I realized I owe it to my readership to share my 'confession' because I am hoping that my 'unforgivable' neglect to give importance to the state and health of EYES should NOT happen to you📌📌📌

Now, for my confession.  Since my late teens till to date, I have been wearing prescriptive glasses and all along, my [default] mode was to go to the optical clinic to refract my lens.  And while the cost can be down cheap, my latest pair of eyeglasses a year ago costs approximately $400, NOT CHEAP by local standards but I thought, that would solve my eyesight as I was enduring its degraded state for at at least the last 2 years❌❌❌

And since sometimes I drive for long hauls, like 10 to 12 hour long drives to the countryside, I felt a huge frustration because even with my latest eyeglasses, I realized that my eyesight remained quite impaired [and to my own fault, I kept it to myself, not after keeping that eyesight constraint in obscurity].  My bad, mea culpa❎❎❎

NOT until late this year when I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and [FINALLY] consulted an ophthalmologist who led me to a SHOCKING eye-opener that my eyesight problems went way beyond my being 'nearsighted' but instead, further EYE tests confirmed that my right EYE was very seriously impaired with cataract.  WHICH means, the past years, I was going on long-haul drives with one eye!@#$? I then realized that I was NOT ONLY remiss but I was utterly neglectful of my EYE. Sharing the below recommendations from Kadrmas Eye Care:

• Age 20-29:  Eye checkup at least once this period
• Age 30-39:  Eye checkup at least twice this period
• Age 40-49:  Eye Exam every 2 to 4 years
• Age 50+   :  Annual Eye Exam

Allow me to share one more VERY important lesson I learned:  Our EYE's health does NOT end up by consulting an ophthalmologist BUT instead, we should consult a RETINA SPECIALIST [who is an ophthalmologist too] but he is capable to diagnose if your EYE issues have impacted your RETINA.  My apologies for veering our thread today more into our EYE's health but I realized I owe this to you as much as I owe it to myself❗❗❗

Deliver Your PROMISE

Deliver Your PROMISE

The easiest thing that can be done in life is to PROMISE.  WHAT makes it that EASY is because it WON'T cost anything, it WON'T need you to exert any effort and it can be done INSTANTLY.  So, what's the biggest challenge staring right in our faces right now?  It is to Deliver Your PROMISE💵💴💷

Yes, EVERY STORY STARTS SOMEWHERE.  I heard this one-liner most recently today from Jeremy Jauncey, the founder & CEO of Beautiful Destinations.  Well said.  Point is, you can be standing near the gutter-level now so your story, your narrative can start from there, that is, if you have that intent to traverse and fulfill something📗📙📘

Truth is, many of us would succumb to this 'PROMISES CYCLE' and that vicious cycle NEVER gets broken year on year.  WHY?  Because, NO one is flagging us, NO one is brutally confronting us on our shortfalls, and NOTHING seems to make us feel ACCOUNTABLE for the tons of promises we would blurt out so easily💎💎💎

As there is no fool-proof formula that leads to the equation PROMISES=DELIVERY? What this means is that it behooves that we more often OVER-DELIVER more than what we would promise?  Is that easy?  Whether it's damn EASY or as steep to climb up, it's only yourself who would make it look EASY or that TOUGH to deliver on your PROMISE📌📌📌

Without reinventing the wheel, here's our CHEAT SHEET so we can DELIVER more than we PROMISE:

• DON'T over-promise, plain and simple.
• DELIVERY well.  Give it your best shot.
• REMEMBER well enough.  No excuses to forget a promise
• BE CAUTIOUS.  Think cautiously before you promise
• BE COMMUNICATIVE.  Make a crystal-clear promise 
• BE CONSISTENT.  Always deliver promises.  It helps.
• TRACK and MONITOR your progress for each promise
• BE FOCUSED.  It's NOT a cake-walk to deliver a promise

Word of caution:  If you DON'T DELIVER ON YOUR PROMISE, that could be your credibility's 'LAST HURRAH'❎❎❎

So, When Do We RESET Life?

So, When Do We RESET Life?

So, When Do We RESET Life? Good question.  Tough to answer, in fact because there is NO one correct answer to it.  We could RESET in a week, in a month, in a quarter, biennially, annually OR even every 3 to 5 years.  NO formula here, dude.  So, you'll ask, WHO tells us as to which frequency fits into your life?  I'll throw back that $64 question back to you because there are tons of WHAT IFs before we end up even with a half-hearted answer💴💷💵

BUT given the fact that we all have the same calendars we're glued at, we got to take note that the calendars all run via the WEEKLY CYCLES.  WHY?  Quite simple.  Except for entrepreneurs, most of us work on 5-day work weeks.  In fact, even most entrepreneurs would try to run schedules within those work WEEK CYCLES.  So, voila, we got the answer📗📙📘

If you were to ask me, by default, I'll embrace the WEEKLY RESET.  WHY?  Remember there is a SAT-SUN buffer window and whether you RESET on SAT, on a SUN or by next Monday, it just makes sense and logical.  You might get back to me and question, because all along, you thought we would RESET only when we have a crisis at hand?  No sirrrrs.  Your sailboat could be coasting smoothly on the waters for a week and to RESET will work wonders.  WHY❓❓❓

So, you might ask, WHERE will the RESET happen every week at that?  Again, KEEP IT SIMPLE.  IF your schedules were thrown a monkey wrench the past week, to RESET means you need to do a better job to plot your schedules.  IF you had serious cash flows, oh oh, pin down those RED FLAGS so that they DON'T end as land mines❌❌❌

IF your relationship hit rough patches the past week, maybe you need to do a real honest SELF-REFLECTION where could you have done it better OR maybe it's your partner/spouse who needs more consideration?  BTW, let's take a very optimistic scenario where life has been so goody goody week after week, what now?  Maybe you can take monthly RESETS but keep your ears and eyes close to the ground as to WHEN DO YOU RESET life❗❗❗

Life is NEVER Black Or White

Life is NEVER Black Or White

Life is NEVER Black Or White.  All along we always harp, KEEP IT SIMPLE, which means, we should live life as simple as either BLACK or WHITE.  Analogy aside, life is never BLACK or WHITE.  In fact, it's always in the shades of grey.  Life ISN'T about knowing all the answers.  It is all about exploring the depth and richness behind the ambiguity of all the shades.  Indeed, BLACK or WHITE is an easy label but living life in the grey areas pushes you further down💢💢💢

Many times, when something happens, we see it as if there's only one reason WHY it happened.  Our thinking is that things happen because of this and NOT that one.  It happened because of BLACK and not WHITE.  We get so fixated that life only revolves around the quickest reasonable idea we can think of.  BUT life is much more than that.  There are one too many myriad of colors in life.  Let's have a simple real-life scenario.  You and your friend agreed to meet at a place and time more to catch up.  BUT your friend missed out.  So you got angry and frustrated😕😕😕

The real score was, your friend missed out to meet you up was because of the horrendous traffic and along the way, his mobile battery got drained, he was unable to alert you.  BUT from your perspective, your friend missed that time because he just DIDN'T value it, which, it ISN'T true.  So, WHAT's the moral of the story?  It is that most of the time, it is easy to see the NEGATIVE on the situation.  It is easy to blame and be frustrated.  BUT harder to understand and see it from a different perspective❎❎❎

Thing is, there are many things happening behind closed doors.  NOT everything  is visible to your naked eye.  DON'T be so quick to judge as it is the reason WHY a man becomes miserable, whew.  Most day-to-day scenarios, they CAN'T be explained as to YES I did it and allowed it versus NO I did not do it because I did NOT allow.  Often times, the real reasons behind is too circuitous❗❗❗

You achieved high academic honors?  WOW but that's NOT because you aimed for it.  It's because you moved mountains to achieve that.  You got multiple job promotions the past years?  It's NOT because your bosses like you.  It's because you have been consistent in delivering the goods [at work] way beyond expectations and often, you went the EXTRA MILE.  So, LIFE IS NEVER BLACK OR WHITE📗📙📘

Progress Tracking?

 Progress Tracking?

Do we really need this Progress Tracking? Yesirrrs I absolutely buy into this.  We're now into a few weeks of 2024.  How are those New Year's resolutions coming along?  Many of you did set your GOALS to improve your health.  Oftentimes, these GOALS are unrealistic and you end up finding yourself falling back into OLD HABITS after a few weeks?  Now WHAT?  Do you GIVE UP because PERFECTION is NO longer an option?  Absolutely NOT.  PERFECTION isn't realistic in the first place, and it may even hinder those health GOALS you set on January 1st💴💷💵

Frankly, strict and rigid 'ALL or NOTHING' resolutions are frustrating.  GOALS like that force you to focus on your failures.  Missing a day of your New Year's Resolution DOESN'T mean that you've failed.  Ultimately, people make resolutions with the GOAL of becoming healthier and happier.   So, ask yourself if you have improved your health with your GOALS📗📘📙

Looking at PROGRESS rather than PERFECTION allows you to see WHAT's working, rather than WHAT you've failed to accomplish.  Sometimes, resolutions need amendments to really work long-term.  Consider the hindrances and barriers to achieve your resolution[s] and experiment with different approaches to make it work📌📌📌

Do consider taking an approach to problem-solving like an experiment, realizing that NOT every experiment really works.  Continue to look for better ways to approach the challenge✅✅✅

Our takeaway today?  PERFECTION is frustrating because it is unattainable in the first place.  On the other hand, PROGRESS is hopeful because it's always there as long as you are making adjustments and improvements.  In fact, you DON'T need to be PERFECT to be healthier.  Keep up the PROGRESS you are making and just forget about PERFECTION.  That's one DISTRACTION less❗❗❗