Change, Change, Change

Change, Change, Change

Change, Change, Change.  Regardless, whether 2023 was a banner year for you OR it was [another] so-so year, you are WHAT you think.  And if you're only thinking about problems and sorrows, very likely and sadly, that will be likely what you will attract in your life.  BUT if you change your perspective and start thinking about solutions and opportunities, you're like sending vibrations to attract an abundance of them📗📙📘

Poetically, allow me to quote this:  INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING THAT THE ROSE BUSH IS FULL OF THORNS, BE HAPPY THE THORN BUSH HAS ROSES.  If on a sad note that you seem to be accumulating a lot of NEGATIVITY inside you due to all the things happening in your life from the most petty to the major ones, it is very likely that you will be both inhaling and exhaling nothing but NEGATIVITY❎❎❎

Have we ever looked at unfortunate circumstances in our life and thought you are going through this simply because you DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE?  If you agree to this, I beg to disagree because each one of us is having many choices and we are exercising them everyday, down to every second.  Frankly, we got and we make many choices every day😀😀😀

Let's rattle off some real-life CHOICES we make:

• We set the alarm clock 5am in time to work 8am
• We drive our car instead of taking the public bus
• At work, you take on other task to help the team
• At your sales work, you field cold calls as priority
• On the way home, we buy something for our kid
• By weekend, you went grocery instead of accepting an invitation to attend a social event
• By Sunday, you decided to do a 'carwash' at home instead of bringing it to a nearby 'carwash'

What's our takeaway today?  The best way to CHANGE our life is to take OWNERSHIP and ACT.  If you want to learn ChatGPT, ACT.  If you want to start saving for your dream holiday, ACT.  If you want to improve your financials, ACT.  If you want your health to 'turnaround', ACT.  In fact, anything you want, you need to ACT.  Nothing is going to CHANGE if you aren't willing to CHANGE yourself.  Be confident about yourself and take that LEAP of FAITH for us to CHANGE❗❗❗

WHEN Your Goal Remains A WISH

WHEN Your Goal Remains A WISH

I am quite confident that each of you did exert your efforts to set your GOALS at least for 2024 [if NOT for the medium and long-terms] BUT here's a WHAT IF.  But here's a WHAT IF for us. IF and WHEN Your Goal Remains A WISH, when does that probability become a potential one to happen?  That GOAL to remain as a WISH will likely happen IF we did not lay down a concrete action PLAN to achieve the GOALS📗📙📘

This MOST quoted quote says it all.  Truth is, many of us set a GOAL with the intention of following through BUT they also think of a GOAL that is something that will happen far into the future.  BUT, many of us get stuck in the cycle of setting GOALS and NOT achieving them [AT ALL].  Many times, the path to the GOALs have been started but getting stuck either because of an issue stumbled across OR simply for NOT prioritizing TIME + EFFORTS towards achieving the GOALs.  We DON'T want to be compared to this ship with NO DESTINATION❎❎❎

So, let's NOT dilly-dally and grapple with this dilemma confronting many of us:

• WRITE DOWN your goals CLEARLY
• SET GOALS you passionately want to achieve
• Create "SMART GOALS" [we'll discuss later]
• Create an "ACTION PLAN"
• Stick to your "ACTION PLAN"
• MONITOR your progress
• ALERT yourself for delays in your timeline

I did attend the 7 HABITS Course of American Guru Stephen Covey, and without breaching IP rights, allow me to extract and share just 3 of those HABITS:

• Habit 1 - BE PROACTIVE
• Habit 2 - BEGIN with the END in mind
• Habit 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

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There's one area Stephen Covey did highlight as our most common mistake.  We tend to tag many tasks as URGENT, and in the end, the List of URGENCIES is mile-long.  He highlights the confusion over TIME MANAGEMENT.  And the FIX?  Breakdown the URGENT tasks either as:

• HIGH URGENCY - HIGH IMPORTANCE
• LOW URGENCY - HIGH IMPORTANCE
• HIGH URGENCY - LOW IMPORTANCE
• LOW URGENCY - LOW IMPORTANCE

Can We Improve [At Least] 1% EVERYDAY?

Can We Improve [At Least] 1% EVERYDAY?

Do we agree that everyone [that includes moi] needs to IMPROVE?  Absolutely YES, right? So, Can We Improve 1% EVERYDAY?  It is a given that self-improvement is that important BUT to be realistic, it is NOT always easy to know WHERE to start.  And if you're feeling stuck and unsure HOW to make positive changes in your life, NOT to fear as long as we wake up fit and right every morning, then we should be GOOD TO GO💴💷💵

Now, without getting into our calculators, it should be a no-brainer to state that pegging our self-improvement target to 1% daily should be peanuts, right?  And if we replicate that 1% improvement the next day, the next next day till the end of the year, can we agree that roughly, we would have improved more than 300% [VERY EASILY] without significantly reinventing📗📙📘

The results should NOT surprise you, honestly because while 1% may seem insignificant on its own, small daily improvements compound over time to create astonishing results.  This is what studies coined as the power of that 1% RULE, that so simple yet profound idea that continuous incremental progress adds up to major changes.  And this cuts across your health, career, relationships, finances etc✅✅✅

Now, as much as we've heard a zillion times that we should be CONTENT in life, that just DOESN'T apply to our self improvements.  BTW, the 1% RULE is about progress, NOT perfection. You DON'T need really massive breakthroughs as long as we focus on incremental improvements.  So, you might ask, WHY focus on small daily improvements?  First off, trying to change TOO MUCH TOO FAST is simply overwhelming, and frankly, unrealistic.  Radical short-term change rarely sticks, in fact❌❌❌

Let's take plants as an simple example.  A dying plant, once nurtured and watered patiently, gets a fair good chance of improving from its withering state, maybe approximately by 1% daily until it reaches its healthy state all over again.  And that 1% RULE takes the pressure off us.  WHY?  You DON'T have to be bothered with a 20% or 50% incremental improvement come next day [because that's just NOT doable].  By breaking big goals down into smaller pieces, change feels easier.  And HABITS and MINDSETS solidify through repetition.  Consistency matters more than intensity when forming habits.  And achieving SMALL WINS gives you a sense of progress and that momentum will continue to boost your confidence.  So my ask, dude, CAN WE IMPROVE % DAILY?  Absolutely YES❗❗❗

Boundaries In Life

Boundaries In Life

Living life with transparency and as an OPEN BOOK will be appreciated by everyone [and NO one will complain] BUT in living our personal life, it CAN'T run that way unconditionally.  Boundaries In Life need to be set and demarcated.  WHY?  In two words, to protect our well-being but that encompasses all the gamut in life, e.g. emotional, financial, physical, intellect and it DOESN'T even stop there💵💴💷

Challenge is, some of us simply want to please others, even if it means breaching their own personal boundaries.  NOT being able to set healthy BOUNDARIES can be related to common issues like low self-esteem, needing approval from others, learned helplessness OR the fear of being rejected OR criticized.  Frankly, I used to be that person unable to draw boundaries📗📙📘

WHY?  Not to blame my culture but I grew up in that kind of culture wherein saying NO is a NO-NO.  And if you meant to say NO, least you can do is to give a 'middle of the road' response that's neither here NOR there.  NOT to bad-mouth others but people will always be people.  UNTIL you say otherwise, they might take advantage of your help, kindness, pain, knowledge OR even your ignorance📌📌📌

Sadly, there are even people WHO will NEVER respect your boundaries, regardless as to HOW much you enforce them.  They WON'T listen to WHAT you have to say or act accordingly.   BUT hey, at that point, the problem is THEM and NOT you.  People WHO DON'T know how to respect other people's boundaries lack self-esteem in their lives and will project it on you shamelessly anytime.  BUT hey, there is a reason  why BOUNDARIES are imperative✅✅✅

Long time back, even while I was in High School, NO one knew my preferred course in the university.  And when I plotted my almost seamless immigration to Singapore, NO ONE was aware of it.  WHY?  Because I need that space protected by the boundary that gives me the privacy I deserve.  With social media running berserk, your most confidential info can spread like the Australian bush fires UNLESS you set your BOUNDARIES IN LIFE❗❗❗

What OVERTHINKING Brings Us

What OVERTHINKING Brings Us

You might think you're the only one lying awake at night, dwelling on a decision you made earlier that day OR worrying about tomorrow's TO-DO List .  BUT hey, you're NOT alone.  Erik Hermanson mentioned in Quora.com says that 90% of the population are constantly OVERTHINKING.  While an independent research showed that 73% of those aged 25 to 35 years old chronically OVERTHINK while 52% of those ages 45 to 55 do.  So, What Does OVERTHINKING Bring Us!@#$?

In many cases, studies show that OVERTHINKING could show up as rumination, which often involves perseverating on events of the past and even the present with a NEGATIVE mindset.  Whether your tendency of OVERTHINKING takes you into the past or focuses on the future, there are POSITIVE ways to reframe your thoughts.  Experts, though, claim that we can put to a halt OVERTHINKING which might slip further📗📙📘

So, WHERE do we go from here?  First off, you DON'T have to take every alarming thought that pops into your head as gospel truth.  In fact, you can use those OVERTHINKING moments to question and 'FACT CHECK' WHAT's true [or NOT], so that our 'worried thought' WON'T have as much power over you❌❌❌

In summary, while our brain may offer numerous 'THOUGHT SUGGESTIONS', it is ultimately up to us to decide if we accept them, in the first place.  So, experts do recommend that we 'RETRAIN' our brain.  As per their studies, WHEN the brain rests, the areas that 'LIGHT UP' are the problem solving areas associated with self-referential THINKING. Left on its own, our brain will tend to OVERTHINK❎❎❎

Our takeaway for today?  We need to train our brain to do otherwise, particularly if you observe you're OVERTHINKING at certain times, like before bed time.  Experts confirmed that we can 'REPROGRAM' that habit with other 'mind-clearing' activities.  This reminds me of a first-hand story I got that on one particular New Year's Eve several years ago, their family covered their windows with their bed mattresses and other covers and curtains because their father unequivocally declared that their 'ENEMY' will massacre their family that midnight of New Year's Eve.  To their surprise, it DIDN'T happen but till today, they CAN'T understand how their father ended up with that cocksure fears.  This is WHAT OVERTHINKING BRINGS US😖😖😖

Our Common Enemy

Our Common Enemy

Do you know that more than the global geo-political conflicts like U.S. versus China, Israel versus Hamas and so on, everyone of us share Our Common Enemy spelled E-G-O?  And surely, everyone of us were victims of our own EGO at some points in our past [if not at the present].  I also bear witness to people I know first hand who 'fell off the cliff' NOT because of anything else but due to their EGO💴💷💵

For alignment, let me quote this definition:  AN UNHEALTHY BELIEF IN OUR OWN IMPORTANCE.  ARROGANCE.  SELF-CENTERED AMBITION.  IT IS THAT PETULANT CHILD INSIDE EVERY PERSON, THE ONE THAT CHOOSES GETTING HIS OR HER WAY OVER ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE.  THE NEED TO BE BETTER THAN, MORE THAN, RECOGNIZED FOR, FAR PAST ANY REASONABLE UTILITY, THAT IS EGO, THAT SENSE OF SUPERIORITY THAT EXCEEDS THE BOUNDS OF CONFIDENCE AND TALENT'📌📌📌

Mother of ironies here, a three-letter word is defined in one long, circuitous paragraph.  So, why don't we hold the bull by its horns, what makes EGO our common enemy?

• It keeps us OUT OF TOUCH with reality
• It creates UNREALISTIC expectations
• It makes you DEPENDENT on external validation

Even the great Albert Einstein created this formula for our EGO.  Indeed, one of the biggest reasons why EGO is our own enemy is that it keeps you out of touch with reality.  Your EGO is WHAT prevents you from hearing critical BUT necessary feedback from others.  EGO makes you to over-estimate your own abilities and worth and correspondingly, under-estimate the effort and skill required to achieve your goals✅✅✅

All of this means that you lose touch with reality, and in the end, you will likely miss opportunities, whether it is to improve, to connect with others, and to achieve your goals.  Our takeaway?  Creating unrealistic expectations means that EGO makes you assume that you deserve some outcome, whether it's a job offer, a promotion, all because of your past efforts.  Let's RIGHT THE WRONGS this early, dude, because EGO IS OUR COMMON ENEMY❗❗❗

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.  My apologies if this is NOT the first time I am pitching for this one-liner [SIMPLY because this is my most fav one-liner] because I just WON'T slow down pushing and pitching for this because, in practical terms, I can attest to have successfully proven this tack many times in the past [till today] especially WHEN a shade of CHANGE creeps into the equation.  Unfortunately, I need to tie-up Adapt, Adjust, Accept.  Fyi, this is a bundled-in spiel that CAN'T be translated into a 'CUT and DRY' approach.  Let's consider to Adapt, Adjust, Accept💴💷💵

Oh, surely, everyone wants NO less than BLISSFULNESS in life.  BUT to reach that euphoric point in life requires tons of efforts exerted in the midst of CHANGE.  So, how do we roll-out this approach? First off, exert your best to Adapt to a new situation, be it WHEN settling down, WHEN parting ways, WHEN suddenly being jobless, WHEN in a new job📗📙📘

Now comes the hard part.  WHAT IF you CAN'T adapt to the recent CHANGE?  That is WHEN you endeavor to ADJUST.  Obviously, ADJUSTING is as easy as pronouncing BUT to execute it, it takes a lot of gumption to get into the ADJUST phase.  WHY?  You got to tweak things, prune things, shave off and many times, surrender some precious private space, as a modus vivendi📍📍📍

Thing is, the world NEVER stops changing and the only constant is CHANGE itself.  Whether it's a shift in your career, a twist in your personal life OR a 'shake up' in your daily routine, CHANGE is really inevitable.  BUT, it is NOT the CHANGE itself that defines us BUT it is HOW do we respond to it❗❗❗

In a NOT so pleasant but realistic scenario where you did all the tweaks and YET you failed to ADJUST, you are left with one last card, you need to get into that ACCEPTANCE phase.  ACCEPT the CHANGE but knock on wood, you still fail to ACCEPT the CHANGE, bail out, dude, bail out😡😡😡

The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses

The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses

RJ Andrews, a top data visualization expert and founder of INFO WE TRUST, an information graphic studio  company, drilled and diced across the 161 top geniuses of all time and filtered to get The Top 16 Geniuses.  And guess what is The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses.  NOT their successes.  NOT their trailblazing stories💴💷💵

Guess WHAT was the result of his research?  Except for Wolfgang Mozart, the other Top 15 Geniuses all shared one commonality and that is, every 24 hours, they all spent between seven to nine hours of sleep everyday.  Science tells us there's a VERY REAL connection between CREATIVITY and SLEEP😀😀😀

Often neglected [I am damn guilty of it for many years in the past], SLEEP is a vital component of every person's overall health and well-being.  SLEEP is important because it enables our body to repair and be fit and ready for another day.  Getting adequate SLEEP may also help prevent potential heart disease and illnesses that stretch out in duration❌❌❌

Something peculiar about the study is that it DIDN'T seem to matter whether they went to bed late and got up late OR went to bed early and got up early OR even had a SLEEP routine that can only be described as bizarre.  Honore de Balzac, the French novelist, apparently slept from 6pm to 1am and with an additional 90-minute nap at 8am.  Aside from the importance of SLEEP, what else can we learn from these top geniuses❔❔❔

NOT a surprise, Charles Darwin, the top genius best known for his contributions to Biology took three WALKS a day.  This research confirms that WALKING has benefits for mood and brain function, particularly if you do it in any sort of natural setting.  BTW, these Top Geniuses are aware of the 'DECISION FATIGUE', hence they are sticklers to their routines.  And that explains why Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs wore the same outfit everyday.  WHY?  It takes one daily decision out of the equation.  Meanwhile, should we take a page from that commonality of the Top Genius by sticking to seven to nine hours of SLEEP everyday❓❓❓

Reward Yourself, dude!

Reward Yourself, dude!

Heard or seen folks who grind and kick their ass whole-year-round, sometimes, reachable 24x7 even if he deserves to recoup that Melatonin we need to top-up?  I know quite a number way beyond my pair of hands.  Sadly, I hardly see them take a break and REWARD themselves.  BUT WHO am I to ask.  Reward Yourself, dude📗📙📘

Human nature runs this way.  You exert everything and dedicate your time for a task out of the ordinary.  Of course, you would hope for a reward, in whatever form, regardless of the monetary value.  It could even be a pat on the back, a commendation, a promotion, a pay increase, even gift certificates🎉🎉🎉

After all, it is human nature that UNTIL and UNLESS we truly see the results of WHAT we did accomplish, our mind does NOT set itself in the proper form and keep self-motivated.  So, WHEN you show more productivity at work [a.k.a. EXTRA MILE], you expect the reward in the form you feel that is commensurate and just just😁😁😁

Sometimes, though, we get mixed up, mixing CRAVINGS ands REWARDS but they are worlds apart, dude.  Similarly, WHEN you start eating healthy OR exercising regularly, you expect your body weight to reduce.  However, these REWARDS take time.  Since then, it has been practically impossible to keep oneself that self-motivated✅✅✅

Now, WHAT's our takeaway?  Set a REWARD before you commence working on that task OR deliverable.  Typically, your work might start at 9 a.m. and it finishes at 5 p.m., that normal 9-5 work.  Then you start asking yourself, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO AS A REWARD FOR YOURSELF AFTER YOUR EFFORT TODAY?"  Thing is, DON'T treat yourself as an enemy BUT like family, like your own.  REWARD YOURSELF, dude when you deserve it❗❗❗

Can We Dump Our FEARS?

Can We Dump Our FEARS?

Can We Dump Our FEARS?  Tough task.  Tough ask.  That's a tough question, dude.  WHY?  Because there's a long list of fears and that list gets stretched if we include all the kinds of phobias.  And you'll be surprised, just for the phobias, there is a 500-long list [as per the Phobia List Website].  So, we DON'T want to get waylaid into that mile-long list of phobias BUT instead focus on the three main fears namely, ABANDONMENT, FAILURE and DEATH.  And we'll take all these up shortly but the quick ASK now.  What triggers most our FEARs📗📙📘

Allow me please to piggy-back on this cover by Jane Wong, a noted Chinese-American poet.  And I'd like to give my 2-cents here and I firmly believe that the common trigger of our FEARS boils down to a 2-word thing spelled W-H-A-T  I-F.  WHAT IF I pursue that course and I fail to hurdle the State Board Exam?  WHAT IF I immigrate but struggle to find a decent job there?  WHAT IF I marry her and I end up with responsibilities way beyond my capacity?  WHAT IF I accept that job offer but fail to 'deliver the goods'?  WHAT IF I invest in stocks and I lose my investment instead?  WHAT IF I buy myself a comprehensive medical insurance but I would hardly get sick, so how can I recoup my payments?  WHAT IF I order online but the product is inferior!@#$?

We can go on and on and do we agree that the common culprit [at least in the above examples] are all the WHAT IFs!@#$?  So, how can we expect someone to really make a move and make a decision and execute that decision if he/she gets hampered with all these WHAT IFs.  We're NOT making a 180-degree turn here and disown WHAT IFs because in a bit, I'll clarify as to when should we invoke WHAT IFs📌📌📌

So, before I get pounced, WHEN do we invoke WHAT IFs?  It is when we are going through a FEASIBILITY or PLANNING exercise wherein we inject all the WHAT IFs.  This is the appropriate perspective for the WHAT IFs as you go through that iteration cycle and come up with the best optimal option.  BUT for us to invoke WHAT IFs each time we are in the middle of taking action or making a move, I'm afraid that will be akin to ANALYSIS PARALYSIS❎❎❎

Instead, we'd like to encourage everyone that while there is no 'silver bullet' solution in handling our FEARS, let us increase both our awareness and our consciousness that if our WHAT IFs gets stretched, how far can we 'nip in the bud' when FEAR starts creeping❓❓❓