Are You Playing the LONG GAME

Are You Playing the 'LONG GAME'

Our lives can never be simple as we want it to be.  Truth of the matter, life itself is a complex web of intertwined equations with variables and unknowns.  But the question that keeps bugging us is how do we discern that indeed we are  playing the 'LONG GAME' [or NOT] ?  That is a very crucial unknown that needs to be pinned down because we need to align our actions with the realities.  Because at the end of the day, it is NOT for life to adjust to us but instead, it is for us to tweak and twist ourselves to the turns that is popping up in our life.

But do you know that TO PLAY THE LONG GAME, you gotta get yourself into the much shorter game ?  Taking a leaf from that old adage, a JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND STEPS STARTS WITH A FIRST STEP.  So, let's not be overwhelmed and get misguided by the thought that long-term goals need a long-term approach.  Because that statement is double-edged.  Because it all boils down to taking the correct first step for you to be on track.  Take that misstep and you are far from taking the next misstep as well.  

Let's even take the most simplistic example of gaming.  How will you approach that kind of gaming ?  It's either way.  If that is a one-off thing, obviously, you'll take the short game but where you are into a grueling marathon, the way to go is to PLAY THE LONG GAME.  If you're a student, are you aiming for high grades within the semester?  Or are you aiming for honors when you graduate ?

To simplify things, nothing beats setting long term goals because our trek in life is never short-term.  Let's talk about relationships ?  How come things are siZZLING so hOt at the start and yet things seem to fiZZLE out in the long run ?  Simple.  It's because either or both partners were playing the short game rather than the long game  Not that they treated it as a one-off thing but by skipping or failing to set your LONG-TERM GOALS, you end up getting trapped into the cocoon which is very much a short-term game.  If that couple framed their relationship for the long haul, they could be very likely still together till now.

Now, before you get me wrong, you might ask me:  DOES PLAYING THE LONG GAME assure me of SUCCESS ?  No Senor.  No Sir.  You still have to eke things out but what's the difference when you PLAY THE LONG GAME, by default, you will have more options, more iterations to play around your options before you finally take that shot.  Lesson here:  NEVER FAIL to SET your LONG-TERM GOALS✅✅✅

When Man Fails the Tests

When Man Fails the Tests

It's not everyday we go through all kinds of tests in life but when we do go through the rigors in life, the question is, what is our batting average ?  When Man Fails the Tests, what are the ramifications and consequences in life ?  Obviously, that varies but that's not the point though.

A big chunk of those tests though need no more than what is logical and/or practical.  Many of us [yes sirs that includes me in the past] tend to find a scapegoat to cover up our shortfalls and we never stop to blame the left, the right and practically every Tom, Dick and Harry.  If you're a student, failing tests does not mean failing academic tests.  Your academic professor can be testing your attitude when he/she tossed up a need for volunteers [but you KEPT MUM ?].  At work, you may have a colleague who needs to take an emergency leave so someone needs to backfill [but DID YOU VOLUNTEER ?].  

Despite the many 'tests in life', the ultimate tests we need to handle with aplomb are tests related to our relationship with our partner, our loved ones.  Your partner may have indirectly mention that he/she feels to have neglected him/herself but how was it ?  Did you react, if at all? Or did you life instantly become deaf and mute that moment ? Or in business. your new-found customer tested your mettle by requesting a small-small add-on in the toppings [but did you instantly react by saying THAT THAT REQUEST costs $$$$] ?

BTW, when you fail a test in life, what is it really you did fail ?  It could have costs you some things money can't compensate.  You could have lost the CONFIDENCE in you by your academic professor.  Or the TRUST in you by your partner/spouse.  Or the FAITH in you by your boss at work.  Or the GOODWILL you previously earned from your customers. Or you could have lost a fair mix of all those, all rolled into one.

But things do happen.  And they happen for a reason. But when this poster says KEEP CALM, why do we think it is encouraging our calmness ?  It's all damage control, folks.  During those moments when failed the tests, you could be on the verge on giving up, even on yourself.  But what do we gain to KEEP CALM ?  It's simply because we need to get back on track.  Think of those trains that get derailed and go off-track ?  They all got to be back on track.  In life, we do make mistakes.  And we do fail some tests.  But what matters is how quick and swift can we be back into motion.  Word of caution:  be prepared to exert double the efforts to REGAIN the CONFIDENCE, FAITH, GOODWILL and TRUST.  Regaining all these losses require that much efforts all over again.  Trust me✅✅✅

When is JUST ENOUGH not REALLY ENOUGH ?

When is JUST ENOUGH not REALLY ENOUGH ?

How often do we hear that WHEN IT IS ENOUGH, INDEED IT IS ENOUGH ?  Many times probably. And that's bad because that means many of us are getting it all wrong when just because things are ENOUGH, then that should be ENOUGH and that would be acceptable? So do we now know why quite often, we see people 'stuck in the mud?  Fairly simple.  It's because many of us all get so enamored by the old adage "WHY FIX THE CAR IF IT AIN'T BROKE" ?  But hey, that is not an apples-to-apples thing because cars are not akin to life and vice-versa.  When we talk about life, we don't even wait for us to get broke in life, right ?

Who feels secure within the comfort zone?  Obviously everyone does.  But the bigger question is, will you accept things hook, line and sinker just because you're still in that comfort zone ?  Quite often, that comfort zone may, literally speaking, offer that 'comfort' to us but does that lead us to the path towards achieving success ?  May not necessarily be true in most cases.

Oh, I love this cute poster not because it is minimalist but because it speaks volumes!  And isn't this true enough ?  Many of us would cling to our favorite 'sorry' moments over and over again.  But hey, how come you still end up with that deja vu feeling ?  Hmmmm, it's because we keep saying sorry instead of CHANGING OURSELVES.  Did that hit the bullseye ?

And what's the mother of all culprits ?  It's our tendency to cling to the STATUS QUO.  For many of us [including me in the past], the STATUS QUO is my safest haven.  Not until I realized that I was 'stuck in the mud'.  But you can play devil's advocate and ask "WHAT IS IT IN IT' for us to get out of the STATUS QUO ?  Plenty.  A lot  Too many reasons but I'd like to zero-in on OPPORTUNITIES.  Frankly, are we still nursing hopes for OPPORTUNITIES during the STATUS QUO ?  No Senor.  No way Jose.  We must be day-dreaming to hope for OPPORTUNITIES when you refused to leave the STATUS QUO and go beyond it.

As a first-person testimonial, I hate to say this as I am hesitant to beat my chest but if I may admit, I would not be what I am if many years back, I didn't leave my comfort zone, I didn't take risks, I didn't decide to take the huge, big, quantum leap where, had I failed, I would have suffered quite a setback.  Lo and behold, I was fortunate to convince myself that JUST ENOUGH is NOT REALLY ENOUGH❗❗❗

Practice and NOT Instincts

Practice and NOT Instincts

I guess everyone agrees with the old adage which says 'PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT' but behind that is this rationale 'Practice and NOT Instincts'.  this darts board should not be new to everyone.  We've seen darts ending up thwarted all over the place except on the bullseye.  So, what's the most exploited pitch here ?  It's PRACTICE PRACTICE and PRACTICE

But why is Practice and NOT Instincts a hrd sell ?  Simple.  Many of us [including me in the past] are simply damn stubborn.  Many of us simply refuse to heed the advice of PRACTICE PRACTICE and PRACTICE.  Why ?  Because, all along, they always believe that what matters is INSTINCTs and nothing more than that.  And that's where the huge disconnect comes into form [left for us to drill and dice].

Over to our toddlers, have they heard them insist that they all have the INSTINCTS and therefore won't need for PRACTICE ?  It's never challenging to see our toddlers PRACTICE and PRACTICE and yet, why do we need to squeeze people hard and dry?  Hmmm, it's all because of the fallacy that we don't need PRACTICE because our INSTINCTS will take care of the rest.

If you're a student, PRACTICE should not be a hard sell.  If you're a worker, PRACTICE should be a given.  Else, how can you improve your competencies ?  If you're into a relationship, you need to find your flaws and your lapses.  From there, PRACTICE to rectify your shortfalls.

What happens if you remain stubborn and a tough nut to crack ?  Expect to commit the same foul-ups over and over again.  Expect to fall into those trenches again and again.  DON'T expect your travails at work to dissipate but instead expect things to go from bad to worse.  DON'T expect your business challenges to evaporate in thin air because you remain intransigent and as stubborn ever.  The collateral damage that will inflict more damage and impact to your life will be those scenarios where your relationships go through rough patches that will never smoothen unless you wake up and realize that you end up in a topsy-turvy world in despair and very much beyond repair ❓❓❓

Are You the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?

Are You the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?

Do you recall being the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?  Probably for some of us, we could hardly discern those situations when we seemed to be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'. And by the way, there are zillion scenarios where you could be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.  In a bit, let me convince you why it pays for us to be aware if we're the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.

Let me share various real life  'LAST MAN STANDING' scenarios so we can all relate to this.  If you're a student in school and the professor throws a question and no one happens to volunteer.  Will you take the cudgels to be the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and volunteer ?  At work when your client sends you a request for help that is OUT-of-SCOPE.  Will you just shrug off your shoulders ?  Or will you go out of your way to explore measures where you can still give that VALUE-ADD to your client ?

 Currently, I'm in 5th session of an academy training I'm taking [after my work shift ends] which training will culminate by end-FEB 2022 and in our last session last Friday, after our breakout sessions ended, our resource [of a US$ 9bn US technology player with annual revenues close to US$5bn] called out our group number to present in the sales presentation.  Alas, there was eerie silence and before we trigger the ire of our resource, I thought I was the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and volunteered.  Why did I volunteer ?  Good question.  It's because I take that as an OPPORTUNITY for me to grab !

                             

Hmmmm, well in life, we are akin to those dominoes.   Before the game starts, dominoes are all upright but after rounds of skirmishes, there could be that solitary domino that could be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.  So, let's look at the upside of things.  By volunteering, by taking the step forward to take the challenge, what are you up to ?  If you're one not to cower in fear of challenges, then opportunities like this should be 'music to your ears'.

Here's some breaking news.  Awhile go,I heard the voice of the street-vending tofu vendor so I rushed out to buy his tofu stuff and unknown to him, I was 'sizing' his situation so I asked as to why the past week I would hear his voice close to noontime when throughout the past years, before 9am, i'll hear his voice outside our gate.  

He admitted he had an appointment with an Indian loan shark so he can buy a bicycle with a side-car so he does not need to walk several kilometers with more than 20kg on his shoulders everyday.  Without letting the cat out of the bag, I gave him my mobile phone number and advised him to send me an SMS message once he reaches home.  Not know to him yet, my wife and myself have already decided to finance and buy for him that bicycle alongside the side-car so that his daily selling will be tremendously less difficult instead of walking many kilometers under the heat of the sun carrying more than 20kg of weight on both his shoulders.  Why did my wife and myself decide to give this life-hardened vendor some one-off financial relief ?  It's because we felt we were the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and this was an OPPORTUNITY to MAKE A DIFFERENCE❗❗❗

Veering Away from the RULE BOOK

Veering Away from the RULE BOOK

Rules are rules, period.  And when someone starts VEERING AWAY from the RULE BOOK, what happens next ?  Frankly, sometimes, it's all our fault, mea culpa and not someone else's.  Lots of problems we get caught up with in life are our own undoing.  BTW, mistakes are mistakes and that's fine but what's unfathomable is when we start VEERING AWAY from the RULE BOOK because that's when we seem to be the architect and brains behind the monster, the Frankenstein we seem to have built.  In brief, if we dutifully follow the RULE BOOK in life, as long as we don't go astray, one foot of ours is already a cinch to succeed.

Anyone not been yet to a camp-put or bonfire?  When we're into activities, isn't there a RULE BOOK to follow ?  And if anyone goes astray from the RULE BOOK, what else to expect but untold, unexpected outcomes which even the RULE BOOK cannot anticipate.  And obviously, we should expect the unexpected when things don't go by the RULE BOOK in our life.

Fact is, there are norms that are part of the givens.  And when you veer away from it, when you deviate from the norm, do we expect results to be within what is deemed normal ? If you're a student and you get that 'notorious' image of a deviant, do you think you will bag the school's top DEPORTMENT award ?  At work, if you seem to be that maverick guy deviating away from the RULE BOOK from time to time, what do you expect, how far will you go in your journey towards success ? And in your relationships with your loved ones, if you keep deviating from the RULE BOOK, how stable should your relationship will be ?

Simply put, even for the less ambitious, surviving life is not a steep mountain to climb as long as you follow the signages plastered all over the place.  Even detours and emergency exits are all clearly marked so it becomes perplexing when along the way, we sometimes get lost and end up in another dirt road that veers away from our path.  Stick to signages, you'll be good.

So, life is not that complex after all as long as you stick to the RULES, literally because there's no alternative to it.  Try VEERING AWAY FROM THE RULE BOOK, you may end up in a dirt road or worst, knock on wood, figuratlvely speaking, you will end up thrown or fallen in a deep ravine where survival just becomes an afterthought.  LESSON:  let's NOT VEER AWAY from the RULE BOOK of life❗❗❗

Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS'

Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS'

Fruits abound.  Fruits are everywhere.  Where the difference lies.  Some fruits typically way beyond our reach.  Some are way too high you need to use that extended bamboo pole.  Some are way up unreachable to the extent that the only way is for someone to patiently climb up traversing the intertwined branches.  So, if this is our life with one too many fruits up there, Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ?  But too bad, sometimes, we are too overwhelmed with one too many fruits, ending up wasting to pick it up.

So, might ask, why do we need to prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ?  It's simple. Angling for those 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' will need the least efforts and/or least resources to reap it, to acquire it, to get hold of it.  Now, if this is a no-brainer, what explains why many of us still miss out these 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ? It's because our attention gets seized by other fruits.  

Why do we get lured then to reach out for fruits which are NOT 'low hanging' ?  INFLUENCE is one.  Our decision gets influenced by others.  We get lured with other fruits even if it will entail much more effort from us.  Another factor is the allure of the quantified outcome of a fruit.  We tend to be lured by MAJOR prizes and we tend to shun away from MINOR prizes.  C'mon, we're not a part of the ilk of those Vegas strip high-stakes players.  Let's be grounded please.

Setting goals and delivering against them is the key to all these.  Making your goals SPECIFIC is the correct first step.  Unless you have a crystal clear vision of what you want to achieve, you may end up wondering around.  WEIGHING the benefits of reaping a LOW HANGING FRUIT versus a pricey fruit that's high up there is the best scaler to guide you reach an informed decision  In life, have you heard someone advising you to AIM LOW ??? No way, Jose.  Instead, you would hear people egging you to AIM HIGH !!!!

Yesssss, eventually, who does not want to reach and achieve his pinnacle of success ?  But time and again, the sage advice to us is to have that mindset and discipline of being REALISTIC in whatever endeavor you undertake.  And if the allure of the biggest ticket items doesn't stop you from reaching out, that is fine but always remind ourselves that hey, there are 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' around.  Why can't I reap all these 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' till I get the breaks for the biggest plum✅✅✅

That Cloud of Doubt

That Cloud of Doubt

Many outcomes and results in life are shaped up and influenced by either our DOING or our UNDOING.  When you execute your plan down to a 'T', likely you will end up with positive results whereas if commit a faux pas, what else do you expect with the outcome?  Unfortunately, there are outcomes that are shaped neither by our DOING or UNDOING but rather because of That Cloud of Doubt.  Quite difficult to fathom why that sheer Cloud of Doubt will do influence outcomes, but it does many times over.

If you're a student in school and here's your teacher calculating your grades and at that point, your weighted average could either make it or miss the honor rolls and here's your teacher suddenly thinking if your grades need a slight push or rounding for you to garner honors roll ? Then a Cloud of Doubt about you creeps   Guess what's the end result ?  At work, here you are, your performance is marginally good and your boss starts considering to push you for promotion till that Cloud of Doubt creeps.

In our relationships with our loved ones, on the periphery, everything could show a veneer of calm and stability.  But sometimes, not visible to us, there could be rumblings underneath and whether it dies a 'natural death' OR things might worsen when that Cloud of Doubt will creep.  If you're running a business, you will be more vulnerable to that Cloud of Doubt in the face of your discerning customers.

Truth of the matter, a Cloud of Doubt may not even be worth spending even a minute of thinking if there is that FAITH to be believe in you, in us.  What's our lesson here ?  Exert all efforts in good faith and if you have to 'move mountains', so be it.  Bottom-line is, there should be nary a Cloud of Doubt.  Problem is, our very UNDOING here is that either we easily shrug off our shoulders and hardly give any value or importance to a Cloud of Doubt or we thought that any Cloud of Doubt is not worth our attention or more so, our corresponding action.  Worst, we hardly see a gathering storm coming.

One last point, erasing and obliterating that Cloud of Doubt starts with you, with us.  That self-doubt ?  That's self-inflicting and that's the last thing that should ever happen because for you to weather any challenge on  any a Cloud of Doubt of you, you got to 'clean up your house first', put things in order by throwing away your own self-doubt.  How ?  You got to believe in yourself before even obliterating that Cloud of Doubt from others❗❗❗

Don't Rock the Boat

Don't Rock the Boat

In our lifetime, we're all riding our boat of life, like it or not.  It's via that boat that we would embark on our respective journey towards our ultimate destination.  And definitely, out there in the high seas, we could get into rough waters and at worst, there could be twisters or typhoons along the way.  But for the most part of our journey, the waters are generally calm.  Yet, why do some boats may seem to be tilting and that's fine as long as we Don't Rock the Boat.  The objective has always been to ensure that the boat stabilizes as long and as far as possible.  Avoid unnecessary moves on board to Rock the Boat.  That's just unnecessary.

In life, how often do we trigger or cause unnecessary moves and actions that end up destabilizing our life ?  From my end, I admit I did cause those unnecessary things quite a few times in the past [and I regret it].  But by the time you regret, the harm has been done, the damaged could have been done.  Unfortunately in our lives, the "UNDO" function has not been enabled yet.

Yet, when we sail through placid waters, everything seems stable, right ?  And that adds the allure to our travel because the boat never gets ROCKED.  In life, whether in school, at work, in business or even in our relationships, we don't want things to be ROCKED, right ?  Because when bad turns to worst, that rocking may even end up tragically, fatally.

How should we not ROCK the BOAT then ?  Sharing here some basic no-brainers.  Topping it is COMMUNICATIONS.  Be cautious with your words.  Often times, we don't mean what we say.  And sometimes, it's not because of the words itself but it's how we expressed thpse words.  How many workers ended up BURNING BRIDGES at work ?  How many businesses went bankrupt because the business partners parted ways all because of words? And how about the failed relationships? 

Alas, in life, there are numerous instances of frenzy and fury, rage and ruckus, all these could have been averted with the least efforts.  In fact, in some cases, no effort would have been needed to avert a problem.  All that could have been done was NOT to have NOT taken that unnecessary action.  If you're into a precarious situation at work or you're into a tenuous relationship or even into a business in the brink of things, STAYING THE COURSE is the least you can do.  Let the MAIN THING be the MAIN THING.  Anything else besides the MAIN THING doesn't even worth your attention✅✅✅

Fit Like a Glove

Fit Like a Glove

Like it or not, in life we gotta 'Fit Like a Glove'.  And this is non-negotiable.  Whether you're talking of growing-up kids, students, workers, entrepreneurs or even partners in life, if you ain't 'Fit Like a Glove', anytime now someone might yell at you 'GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN', whew.

When you transferred to a new school and you hear your teachers telling you that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', that says a lot.  When you move house into a new community and you hear your new neighbors declare that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove'. that's no less a compliment.  When you migrate to a new country and everyone tells you that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', it reaffirms that YOU have successfully hurdled the transition in your life well enough.  When you change jobs and you hear them declare that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', it says you're 'OVER THE [first] HUMP'.  When you commit yourself to your long-term/lifetime partner and you hear your family and friends declare that each of YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', you're in it for it.

Have we heard of someone transferring to a new school and facing difficulties adjusting into the new environ ?  Have we heard a worker moving to a new job and seemingly 'climbing a steep' slope because of the culture and environ in that new company ?  Have we heard of an entrepreneur struggling with his startup business because it is his very first time to get into that foray ?  How about relationships ?  How many have we heard of failed relationships because either of the two partners just can't 'FIT LIKE A GLOVE' in that relationship ?

And let's not claim that there is a dearth of gloves out there because there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL.  You got choices, a lot of them.  Before you transfer to a new school, before you move-in to a new community, before you migrate to another country, before you move to your next job, before you embark on a new business and before you commit [AGAIN] to [ANOTHER] relationship, let us admit that we have ONE TOO MANY CHOICES.

Don't we dream of HAPPY ENDINGS ?  Being in the best school possible, bagging the best job role ever, migrating to a country that was #1 on your life, getting into a long-term/lifetime relationship that should last till your last breath, it means you did everything you can for you to 'FIT LIKE A GLOVE' but to get into that, you need to go through the wringer, with tons of SACRIFICES, painstaking ADJUSTMENTs, stretched ADAPTABILITY and reasonable ACCEPTANCE of whatever circumstances you are in.  Remember, YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE NOW because of your actions [OR inaction, because of your planning [OR mis-planning].  Worth thinking about folks✅✅✅