It Feels Better Than The Truth

 

Last night, I was watching the Netflix movie FLIGHTPLAN starred by Jodie Foster.  Without spoiling your interest, at one point, as everyone was airborne [in that flight], the volunteering therapist bluntly told Jodie Foster [the bereaved wife bringing her husband's casket back to the U.S. and while airborne, losts her daughter WHO was seated/sleeping right next to her in their coach seats] that sometimes, "IT FEELS BETTER THAN THE TRUTH".  That egged me to pause that movie because I realized that there was a tinge of truth because in life, as much as we want the truth, there will be times WHEN hearing something, sometimes it FEELS BETTER THAN THE TRUTH

True, everyone sings HONEST IS THE BEST POLICY BUT experts may NOT absolutely agree on this mantra to be 100% all the time.  True, we were all taught to NEVER LIE as even our parents did teach us the power of truth.  And no less than your partner/spouse will remind you that honesty matters the most.  BUT here's the researchers coming in that there is a lot we get wrong about deception, truth-telling and trust and that, IF mastered, lying 'THE RIGHT WAY' can actually help build connections, trust and even businesses.  At one Ivy League university in the U.S. [I'm sorry I WON'T mention it as it might sound libelous], one professor opined that they should be teaching students WHEN TO LIE

Surprisingly, the Ivy League researchers say that we are MORE LIKELY TO BE LIED TO [and even TOLD TO LIE] than we can ever realize ever, if at all.  And their case studies were like real-life.  LIKE your mom reminding you to tell your grandma that you enjoyed the meal at her home.  LIKE you giving feedback to a co-worker that DOESN'T seem to capture the whole truth.  Still that so called 'ART OF DECEPTION' is more nuanced than we might think of.  LIKE if we have someone's interests at hear, WHEN lying being detrimental BUT you know your best friend at work is so vulnerable with the slightest 'BAD NEWS' to cause her to be demoralized [and obviously you DON'T want that end-result to happen [all because you were 100% truthful]💚💛💜

LIKE WHEN someone in the family has been diagnosed with a very serious illness BUT divulging the whole truth will simply push your loved one's own 'spirit' spiralling downwards.  Experts tell us that people's primary interests is WHAT really matters most because generally, people care about whether you have good intentions a lot more than WHETHER the person is being honest per se.  A parting shot from the experts:  LIES ARE MOST BENEFICIAL WHEN THEY'RE NOT SELFISH.  If you tell your partner he OR she looks great before a date to boost his OR her self-esteem, that's one thing.  BUT saying it just to get your loved one out the door because you're already late, that's WHERE your ill-intentions rear its ugly head, there lies the bridge of goodwill and intent breached💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHEN sharing feedback, indeed honesty is important.  WHY commend one as SUPERMAN if he's a LEMON?  And in that NETFLIX FLIGHTPLAN movie, the therapist was trying to console a grieving widow [WHO was bringing her husband's casket on that very same flight only to loose her daughter WHO was tucked and seated next to her in their coach seats].  In short, that debate over lying is NOT only about WHETHER honest information is delivered at the right time.  In those situations, people tend to appreciate withholding the truth until much later.  WHICH brings us back to the idea of control OR simply a distraction.  Thing is, we need to be incisive as to WHEN IT FEELS BETTER THAN THE TRUTH😗😗😗