Overcoming Your FEARS

Overcoming Your FEARS

Let's face it.  FEARS is one of the most powerful emotions.  And we DON'T need to hear an expert declare that it has a very strong effect both on your mind and body.  Indeed, it is a human response that is vital for our survival.  It helps us respond even to emergencies OR dangerous situations.  It can even occur in more everyday, non-life-threatening events like exams, public speaking, a job interview, a date OR even a party.  It's a natural reaction that puts you under pressure.  So, Overcoming Your FEARS is a no-brainer📗📙📘

So, WHAT makes you afraid?  True, lots of things make us feel afraid.  Being afraid of some things, like fires, can keep you safe.  WHAT you're afraid of and HOW you act WHEN you're afraid of something can be different for every person.  Knowing WHAT MAKES you're afraid of and how you act WHEN you're afraid of something can be different for every person.  And knowing WHAT makes you afraid and WHY can be the first step to overcoming ANXIETY.  And for alignment, let us adapt the standard definition of ANXIETY which is used for fears about the threat of something going wrong in the future, rather than now💦💦💦

That ANXIETY can last for a short time and then pass WHEN whatever was causing you worry is over BUT it can also last much longer and disrupt your life.  Ongoing ANXIETY can even affect your ability to eat, sleep OR concentrate.  It can even prevent you from enjoying life, travelling OR even leaving the house to go to work or anywhere else.  Once ANXIETY holds you back, it can even impact your health📌📌📌

WHAT's sometimes perplexing is feeling that fear even if you're NOT in real danger.  True, early humans needed the fast, powerful responses that fear causes as they were often in situations of physical danger.  Ironically, we no longer face the same threats in today's modern day living.  Despite this, our minds and bodies still seem to work in the same way.  Problem is, we CAN'T run away from all these💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  FEAR will be with us for good and it WON'T go away in our life.  So, while FEAR may be a one-off feeling WHEN you are faced with something unfamiliar, it can also happen everyday and be a long-lasting problem even if you CAN'T put your finger on WHY.  Some people feel a constant sense of ANXIETY all the time even with no particular trigger.  Unfortunately, there are one too many triggers for FEAR in everyday life.  Still, let us remain focused OVERCOMING OUR FEARS💧💧💧

NEVER Take Things Personally, As In, NEVER

NEVER Take Things Personally, As In, NEVER

In the past, we would often hear someone blurt:  DON'T BE ONION-SKINNED.  But these days, will you still ride on that one-liner?  Probably NOT because many if NOT majority seem to be on that path of being ONION-SKINNED.  Oh Oh, WHAT happened WHY suddenly the ONION-SKINNED ones have lorded it over the field?  Blame it on social media.  WHAT should we do?  NEVER Take Things Personally, As In, NEVER💴💷💵

Truth is, every one of us has that tender [call it SENSITIVE] underbelly of our psyche.  Everyone has something they're SENSITIVE about, where even a gentle poke can feel more like a THWACK.  Comments DON'T slide off like water from a duck's back.  Instead, some of us tend to feel more like a sitting duck.  BUT hey, criticism is an inevitable part of life, and hearing reasonable negative feedback without overreacting is a life skill.  IF we can hear fair criticism of our actions without taking it PERSONALLY, NOT only do we escape feeling hurt OR shamed, we also keep criticism from escalating.  By contrast, if we think, 'YOU HURT MY FEELING', that pain will likely spread over you📗📙📘

So, dude, WHAT can we do?  So that we'll take things less PERSONALLY?  HOW can we toughen ourselves to become hard-hearted?  Many experts all zero-in on two key points, namely:

• CONSIDER THE SOURCE - WHY?  Because source matters.  DOES the criticism come from someone you like and respect?  DOES the person know you well enough? OR is it characteristic of this person to shoot from the hip?  DON'T end up by reacting from the hip
• GIVE CRITICS ANOTHER CHANCE [BUT NOT unlimited] - People make mistakes but as they say, CRITIQUE ME ONCE, THAT'S ON YOU.  CRITIQUE ME TWICE, THAT'S ON ME💦💦💦

BUT before you get so hanged up on others, experts always advise the long-term FIXES should be on us, on you, as you are the ONLY person WHO can change yourself.  It is a known fact that individuals WHO are hypersensitive to criticism often have high moral standards.  And it is a good thing that they have a strict moral code and their values really run deep.  BUT the harsh truth is WHATEVER statement that hurts you STILL hurts❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Much as many times we believe that we are on the right side of things, it will help for us to question our tendency to sometimes veer into perfectionism.  Experts claim that individuals WHO take things PERSONALLY often work really hard to be blameless, flawless OR just be consistently precise so as you DON'T end up criticized or blamed.  BUT if it does happen, NEVER TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY💥💥💥

How's It Going?

How's It Going?

HOW often do we hear someone react like an erupting volcano.  Are you asking me How's It Going?  Then WHAT follows is a litany of defensive posturings like:

• I did grind hard enough already
• I kicked my ass damn hard for so long
• I have delivered  all my life and I'm done
• I have had enough after going through the RAT RACE
• Are you now questioning my accountability?  It's AS IF I've been that irresponsible, reckless lor misguided soul here.  Now I seem to be facing an INQUISITION with a litany of charges in a hastily organized kangaroo court!@#$%?

WHILE you could have framed your BIGGER PICTURE, it just makes sense to ask yourself: WHAT'S NEXT?  WHAT'S NEXT?  Well. there's more to the picture.  You can probably frame more of those milestone achievements, which sometimes, due to sheer volumes, some of which get buried under the bushel of oblivion.  BUT really, WHY do we need to ask ourselves "HOW'S IT GOING?".  Simple, the game ISN'T over yet, NOT until we would hear the buzzer📗📙📘

Thing is, stagnation is NOT unprecedented to our daily lives.  Often, you might find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror with the constant question "WHAT's NEXT?"  As stagnated as you could probably stand before your reflection, so does [probably] your thoughts.  And you WON'T be exempt from that matter.  LOW in spirit, HIGH in pessimistic reality, your dreams could end up trapped💥💥💥

To forewarn everyone, some CHECKPOINTS in life could be more daunting in comparison to others.  BUT DON'T get discouraged.  A prime example may be work, school, chores.  Some CHECKPOINTS will be huge while others appear as miniscule.  The thing is, the more CHECKPOINTS that surface, the more you'll see that life is worth it.  The less CHECKPOINTS, the more you may look at life as worthless.  Surface-level questions in CHECKPOINTS will revolve around this:  WHAT ARE YOU AIMING FOR, ULTIMATELY.  Do you feel that WHEN you finally reach WHAT you craved💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  As we age, CHECKPOINTS shall serve as such and nothing more, not that 'END ALL' fate.  BUT let us NOT lose sight that there is MORE work to be done along the path of life.  Yes, probably at this point in your life, you could have achieved so much already where most DON'T even dream about.  BUT reality continues and there will be more CHECKPOINTS to point out before you finally 'CHECK OUT'.  Be mindful though to CHECK-IN [in between CHECKPOINTS] because, NOT to scare, sometimes, there are land mines ready to explode along the way even for an innocent miscue.  HOW'S IT GOING?  Dude, please DON'T take this as a casual question❎❎❎

How's Your WATER MARK Level?

How's Your WATER MARK Level?

As always, life is full of UPs and DOWNs.  One day, you may feel like you have it all figured out.  Then, in a moment's notice, you've been thrown a curve ball.  You're NOT alone in these feelings.  Everyone has to face their own set of challenges.  Learning HOW to overcome challenges will help you stay centered and remain calm under pressure.  This brings us to our thread today because for us to hurdle and survive all the challenges in life, the question we need to answer is How's Your WATER MARK Level❔❔❔

True, everyone has his own preference[s] for how to face the challenges in life.  This brings us back to the need to establish a HIGH WATER MARK level.  WHY?  For so many reasons:

To reinforce your RESILIENCE

To pre-empt possible CHALLENGES

To improve your SURVIVAL CAPABILITY

You might pester me RIGHT NOW.  So, HOW do we increase our WATER MARK if it is a level NOT acceptable RIGHT NOW?  Let's go through these bare-knuckles BASICS:

• MAKE A PLAN - Look at the patterns in your life and see WHAT challenges you've struggled with.  Assess the optimal outcomes and make a plan HOW to achieve them.
• KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALONE - We all have our LOW points.  WHATEVER you're going through, others have been there.  Reach out to them, whether they are family or friends.
• FEEL YOUR FEELINGS - By masking your feelings, they WON'T go away.  Instead, feelings become TRAPPED energy.  DON'T ignore it.  Take time to feel it.

• THINK BIG - It can be easy to let yourself think small because of the fear of failure OR even the fear of making a decision.  Be open to take risks.
• POSITIVE MINDSET - WHAT you think becomes your reality.  Train your mind to think positively.
• DON'T GIVE UP - When a challenge arises, persistence is a huge key to overcome it
• WORK SMART, NOT HARD - Generally, there is more than one way to get something done.  However, there's always just one optimal way OR best way of doing it

Our takeaway:  To set our HIGH-WATER mark itself, this will need dogged determination to lay down the most basic foundations.  Bottomline is to ensure that when the water level goes up and pressure builds up, the level of our HIGH-WATER mark will NOT bring us down.  Many times, it's HOW we pre-empt problems that will make OR break us.  HOW'S YOUR WATER MARK LEVEL❓❓❓

WHEN To Speak? WHEN To Keep Mum?

WHEN To Speak?  WHEN To Keep Mum?

The virtues of SILENCE have long been recognized.  The popular saying 'SPEECH IS SILVER BUT SILENCE IS GOLDEN" has been traced by historians to dayte as far back as the ancient times in Egypt.  It probably means that in some circumstances the LESS you say, the BETTER it is.  I can imagine that WHEN you are in the company of strangers, discretion would be more appropriate than discretion.  In fact, based on norms and values, keeping a secret can be a form of SILENCE that is highly ethical.  So, WHEN To Speak?  WHEN To Keep Mum📗📙📘

In many democratic countries, SILENCE in some cases is  a legal right  You could have heard it in western movies wherein the police or legal authorities who arrest a suspect is advised that he/she has the right to remain SILENT.  In the United States, the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution permits a person NOT to answer any specific question IF and WHEN, by answering it, you will be incriminating yourself.  Sometimes, SILENCE is even deemed as an OBLIGATION as when its purpose is NOT to disturb the tranquility of others such as in the library💦💦💦

Experts do highlight that SILENCE can be used in sending a powerful message.  Studies also show that moments of SILENCE are used in contemplation, reflection and in remembrance of loved ones that we have lost.  BUT this is NOT an 'ALL IN' answer to the question because there are times when to be SILENT is to behave in an unethical manner.  WHAT we should be cautious is that our SILENCE is NOT deceptive, allowing others to believe WHAT we know for certain is NOT true💧💧💧

Psychologists also claim that remaining SILENT can also represent a risk and the experts declare that SILENCE is the most toxic strategy to reputation and integrity.  And if we remain SILENT, someone else will fill the void with more made-up chatter and misinformation.  So, the challenging question is:  HOW THEN SHOULD WE DETERMINE WHEN IS THE TIME TO REMAIN SILENT AND WHEN IS THE TIME TO SPEAK❓❓❓

Our takeaway:  Let us piggy-back on what the experts would advise us, namely:

• Will my voice make a DIFFERENCE?
• Does engaging this time mean I will be more OR less effective the next time?
• HOW will I see myself [many years from now] if I DON'T speak up?

Dude, let's work on these habits😀😀😀

It's PROGRESS [And NOT Perfection] That Matters

It's PROGRESS [And NOT Perfection] That Matters

WHO does NOT want PERFECTION?  I'll be the first one to embrace PERFECTION because I DON'T have any qualms about it.  I'm all for it.  BUT hey hey hey, let's NOT get off-tracked all because of the ideal things in life.  BTW, what incites you to rise up instead of hitting the snooze button when your alarm makes noise? WHAT influences you to ignore the cakes and donuts and all those tempting pastries?  WHAT pushes you to take your morning walks instead of remaining in the softness of your pillows?  Surely, the common answer to all these questions is that It's PROGRESS [And NOT Perfection] That Matters,  WHETHER it is about your health, your deliverables at work, your commitments to your family, much as PERFECTION is the ideal state, It's PROGRESS [And NOT Perfection] That Matters📗📙📘

Most of us WOULD say that results, success and achieving goals are the driving force that creates motivation, drive and momentum.  I beg to defer.  I totally disagree with that though because I am more for PROGRESS because for me, PROGRESS is POWER.  You must continuously work towards your goals and slowly inch closer to them before you ever taste the reality of actually achieving them.  There's NO better feeling than hitting your goals BUT hitting GOALS take time.  It can take anywhere from a few months to a few years and sometimes even a few decades to really realize and achieve your goals.  If someone would argue with that statement, I'll welcome such arguments💧💧💧

Indeed that is a long time and that proposes the question, DOES ACCOMPLISHING YOUR GOALS DRIVE YOU?  Is it single handedly the most influential factor to your success?  OR is it something else?  I believe that beyond everything else, PROGRESS is the most influential factor that drives you to meet your wildest dreams.  It is the secret ingredient that will fuel the fire for you to accomplish greatness.  Let's NOT look far out in the past.  Do you have the same observation that two to three weeks into the new year, people would EASILY give up on their New Year's resolutions❓❓❓

Sounds familiar but surely, that notion is applicable to even weight loss, running a business, excelling in a career, changing your eating habits, and anything else that might be working towards.  IF we DON'T see some form of results often times, we tend to quit.  To quote Benjamin Franklin, the recognized 'FOUNDING FATHER' of the United States, WITHOUT CONTINUAL GROWTH AND PROGRESS, SUCH WORDS AS IMPROVEMENT, ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS HAVE NO MEANING'.  Well said.  For now, can we align as to WHAT IS PROGRESS?  PROGRESS is being better today than you were yesterday.  It is the feeling of accomplishment after working really hard at something and finally being rewarded for it😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  PROGRESS is that feeling of anticipation created when you are getting closer and closer to your goal.  An example of this would be feeling a little less snug in your tightest pair of jeans OR generating more sales leads in the last 30 days than in the last two months combined.  PROGRESS is 'BABY STEPS' in the right direction.  Replacing your usual fast food with a healthier alternative and noticing that you have more energy throughout your day is PROGRESS.  IT'S PROGRESS [and NOT PERFECTION] THAT MATTERS✅✅✅

Do You Need To Explain It [REALLY]?

Do You Need To Explain It [REALLY]?

Have you had that 'memorable' experience when someone kept asking you WHY until your response was followed with another WHY till you patiently retorted back and another WHY was all you got?  UNTIL you would reach a point wherein you would realize that you DON'T owe any further explanation because WHAT you said was in fact, MORE THAN ENOUGH yet you did bite the bait and still you kept responding back to someone who seems to pester you no end.  Do You Need To Explain It [REALLY]❓❓❓

Adolph Hitler, one of history's most infamous personalities was quoted:  'IF YOU WIN YOU NED NOT EXPLAIN BUT IF YOU LOSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN'.  I can disagree with Hitler for ten zillion other reasons BUT I totally agree with his one-liner here.  BUT the biggest reason WHY we are sometimes stuck up with the vicious cycles of WHY is because we do fall prey to it, [wrongly] thinking that it's rude [?] NOT to explain and worse, it is NOT consistent with our civilized culture of openness and transparency.  BUT hey, we DON'T have to compromise ourselves!@#$%?

As I myself got into that conundrum a few times in the past, it got me thinking about the need to go deeper with others just to be nice.  The need to explain yourself, yes we all do feel this need SOMETIMES [but SOMETIMES should NOT be ALL THE TIME].  Those minor personal debacles did remind me that I DON'T have to explain myself and my choices to anyone WHOM I DON'T know [from Adam].  And I DON'T even need to justify something WHICH is very meaningful to me.  In fact, my realization during those times was that I DON'T have to justify anything and I DON'T need to seek the stamp of approval for my decisions from anyone UNLESS/EXCEPT...

You might wonder WHAT are those UNLESS/EXCEPT clauses?  Here we go:

• UNLESS such decisions I make will impact my commitments either with my family, at work OR in business
• UNLESS such decisions carry some amount of bad faith OR guilt, in which case I owe it to myself to revisit such

Our takeaway:  It is true that it is human nature to want to be understood and helpful WHEN people understand us.  Nonetheless, WHEN we put comprehending WHERE they are coming from at the top of our agenda, we gain far more than striving to make them see our point of view.  The problem with sticking to our goal of being understood is that sometimes we turn a deaf ear and we tend to focus on our needs and desires at the expense of hearing others.  So, dude, we really DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN [always]❗❗❗

Unlocking YOUR Potential

Unlocking YOUR Potential

Sometimes, simple things evolve to become quite complex because we seem to have over-simplified things.  Like Unlocking YOUR Potential.  For some, it's NOT even a talking point because to them, a POTENTIAL is a POTENTIAL, period.  BUT dude, there lies the huge disconnect because one can have the POTENTIAL to be a foot soldier while another one can have that rare POTENTIAL to become a general someday📗📙📘

So, there's that huge GAP because the disparity between two possible POTENTIALs can be as wide as the ground versus the sky.  BUT if there is some semblance of commonality, most of us really do want to unlock our POTENTIAL.  To share some quotable quotes from famous names, UFC champion Connor McGregor said that he's WILLING TO DIE IN THE RING [and he means it].  Same one-liner was quoted from Will Smith who was quoted that he's WILLING TO DIE FOR IT if he believes in it💧💧💧

Now, have you heard of LAW OF ATTRACTION?  THAT if you believe in something that deeply, it will come into your life?  And I squarely stand behind it because I firmly believe that's WHAT unlocking one's POTENTIAL is all about.  BUT taking that path is akin to threading a mine-filled road.  BUT, first things first, we got to eliminate and dump out in the window even the slightest manifestation of NEGATIVE THINKING💥💥💥

And along a GROWTH MINDSET, change our SELF-TALK because doubt BREEDS more doubt whereas success BREEDS success.  So, first off, let's eliminate NEGATIVE THINKING and close to the heels after dumping that NEGATIVITY, we are encourage to practice GRATITUDE.  To quote psychologists, when we are GRATEFUL, FEAR DISAPPEARS AND ABUNDANCE APPEARS.  And WHEN you think of everything you have, you begin having MORE.  And that's the LAW OF ATTRACTION in action.  WHAT explains the network of Bill Gates to constantly gallop in quantum numbers through the decades?  And WHAT explains the streak of successes by Elon Musk?  Theirs cannot and should NOT be attributed to simply a streak of luck or that alignment of the stars [which is nothing BUT  a figment of our imagination].  Instead, let us think WHAT you want most in life.  WHAT kind of person you wannabe???

Our takeaway:  Let us get embedded in our mantra the MUST-DO to unlock our POTENTIALS by turning around all 'SHOULDs' into 'MUSTs' and in parallel, creating that ultimate belief in yourself.  Fast-forward, somebody said, let's use the rocking chair method by imagining yourself, old and gray, looking back life and asked WHAT did you miss?  WHAT are your regrets?  Those are your MUSTs because achieving them is the ONLY way to know that you lived a full and extraordinary life❗❗❗ 

BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!

BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!

WHO wants BURNOUTs?  NOT me!  Although admittedly in the past, I did get hit with BURNOUT [as an aftermath of those 2-3 P-1 calls I had to host in the wee hours of [almost] every morning] in the past. BUT, on the flip side, I did pick up realizations WHICH I absolutely value in my life till to date, realizations WHICH I would NOT have picked up from anyone or anywhere else, NOT even from anyone, NOT from my parents, my family, my coterie of friends, mentors or counsellors.  YES, BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!!!

There is a caveat though.  BURNOUT can be your biggest teacher ONLY IF you are open to it.  Try to pull down all your shutters, you WON'T pick up any lessons from BURNOUTs.  BUT I have to be brutally honest here.  I certainly DIDN'T see my BURNOUT experience as a BLESSING WHEN I was in the thick of it.  At hindsight, I told myself I should have known better.  And I told myself that if I had done better, I could have avoided the fallout of my BURNOUT and prevented the negative impact on others💧💧💧

True, WHEN I did hit rock bottom along those dire straits, I was in that spiral shame for quite some time and it took a while for me to come out of that.  BUT how did I extricate myself out of that morass?  First off, I 'RECONNECTED' with myself.  The very first blessing of my BURNOUT was learning to connect with myself.  BURNOUT taught me that I had disengaged myself and was living through WHAT I thought I should be doing rather than WHAT I needed in the moment💦💦💦

The next realization I did embrace was to LIVE A LIFE through my consciously chosen values.  Leading up to BURNOUT, I was kind of living a life of fear, a fear driven of being perceived by my external clients/customers as 'NOT ENOUGH' .  And to complete the picture, at that time, I was like parachuted into a foreign land, feeling all the pent up pressure to adjust and acclimatize to an entirely new culture, new country😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  If there was one adjective that can aptly described that time I had that scary BURNOUT, I felt like I ran out of SPACE.  Realizing that I needed SPACE, that SPACE to process, I realized I had NO room in my schedule to process the inevitable emotions that come with the work OR even my personal adversities that did transpire in my life then.  BURNOUT did teach me that to do this vital work and thrive in this human life, I had to create SPACE in my schedule for the activities that support my well-being, and that encompassed my basic needs to rest, nutrition, and even socializing and fun. So, this should be a no-brainer, that BURNOUTS ARE BLESSINGS TOO❗❗❗ 

How $$$$$$ Really Works

How $$$$$$ Really Works

How $$$$$$ Really Works.  Most of our problems would solve if we just made some EXtra effort to understand how $$$$$$ really works.  Many times we think $$$$$$ DOESN'T buy HAPPINESS.  True most of the time.  BUT dude, $$$$$$ buys us freedom, right?  And that freedom buys us a LOT of choices, which eventually makes us happy to earn more $$$$$$.  So, $$$$$$ is more about psychology than just numbers.  And the sooner we get to understand this, the faster we are able to take charge of our $$$$$$.  We DON'T need to look far.  Let's look at Tier-1 of society.  The Elon Musks.  The Paul Zuckerbergs.  They DON'T need to work like a donkey all day BUT they have something that puts them aside from the rest of the world📗📙📘

This is WHERE every motivational speaker is 'SPOT ON' when preaching the importance of having a PURPOSE IN LIFE.  Everyone of them will tell us that a LIFE WITHOUT PURPOSE is NOT the right way to go.  And yes, none of them is wrong at all.  In fact, 100% of WHAT they say is really damn TRUE.  BUT it's NOT the easiest WHEN you're struggling to find the motivation that you need to find a PURPOSE💧💧💧

Indeed, it takes a lot to take a step out of your life without PURPOSE to change the way you live and think.  So, WHAT bigger motivation can there be than to tell you all the reasons WHY a life without a purpose is hurting you.  BUT we got to carry on, right?  Because in the first place, a life without a PURPOSE has NO meaning.  Have you ever dreaded a lifeless life?  If NOT, you probably DON'T know HOW excruciating such an existence is.  Imagine NOT wanting to wake up every morning BUT also NOT wanting to go to sleep at night.  NO will to work, NO excitement to spend, NO friends' company to enjoy, and NO reason to continue living.  A blank mind with nothing to think about.  The lack of emotions is nothing to look forward to📌📌📌

Yes, WHAT else you would feel BUT that kind of depressing life WHEN you feel a life with NO purpose.  The long and short of it is that a LACK OF PURPOSE means a LACK OF GOALS.  This means nothing is leading you to an imaginary final destination.  You literally have nowhere to go, you find it absolutely torturous to be on the way, and you DON'T even like the route.  WHY then would you even want to carry on with that journey?  Even if you had goals, WHAT IF they are haphazard?  LIKE one goal contradicts the other.  You're all over the place with NO sense of direction at all.  A life without PURPOSE is as meaningless as this❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Motivation is a long-lost dream.  One thing that pretty much every human WHO wants to be successful needs is a lot of motivation.  Let's look at it from the perspective that you do have defined purpose in life.  You trust in every way that life leads you to.  WHAT does that do?  It boosts your brain to work harder.  Every step of the way makes you feel closer to your final destination.  This automatically encourages you to perform better.  HOW $$$$$$ REALLY WORKS is perplexing!@#$%?