WHY Friends Matter

WHY Friends Matter

Numerous researches linked FRIENDSHIPs and social to better physical health outcomes, including lower rates of heart disease.  One particular study revealed that young men and women WHO discussed DIFFICULT parts of their lives had a lower pulse and blood pressure WHEN a supportive friend accompanied them.  Indeed, FRIENDSHIP is an important factor in our physical well-being BUT what effects does it have on our mental health?  So, all along, all these explain as to WHY Friends Matter📗📙📘

BUT here's a word of caution we must NOT overlook.  While GOOD FRIENDS can support you even through traumatic events and are able to help you to quit bad habits, toxic friendships can leave you feeling drained, stifled, anxious and often unequal.  Indeed, FRIENDSHIPS are unique because they are tied to so many aspects of your life, be it your family, your work, and even your hobbies  WHEN you get into that kind of a toxic FRIENDSHIP, these feelings can permeate all of these areas as well.  If a particular FRIENDSHIP ISN'T meeting your needs, it may be time to reassess WHETHER it deserves a space in your life💎💎💎

Another word of caution.  The strong bonds in a FRIENDSHIP should refer to REAL FRIENDS, and NOT social media friends or connections.  So WHAT if you have a million followers in FB or LinkedIn?  Frankly, very likely, 99.99% of them are hardly your real-meaning FRIENDS, much less close FRIENDS.  Latest researches are also giving us another caveat as these studies tell us that approximately only a half of the people you consider as FRIENDS consider you as FRIEND.  Does that sound quite harsh❔❔❔

And frankly, no matter how you and me will define a 'FRIEND', in reality, there just ISN'T time to have one too many FRIENDS.  Let me quote Oxford scientist Robin Dunbar whose theory says that we can maintain at most 150 or so maximum number of connections BUT take note those are connections and NOT FRIENDSHIPS.  And in Dunbar's theory, we have different layers of FRIENDS, like one or two TRULY best FRIENDS [like your significant other and maybe one other person].  Then, maybe ten people with WHOM you have 'great affinity' [a.k.a. closeness] and interact with quite frequently.  The rest will be all sorts of people  you're FRIENDLY with BUT who aren't your FRIENDS💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  I can't disagree with Dunbar's Theory because looking into my life, that theory's layering of FRIENDS gets reflected in my life as well.  That's why WHEN someone would ask me HOW many BEST FRIENDS I have, it's one OR two at most and another around five with WHOM I'm close by affinity.  At the end of day, allow me to piggy-back on that old cliche which says, TELL ME WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND I'LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE💥💥💥

Can We Avoid Burnout?

Can We Avoid Burnout?

Can We Avoid Burnout?  Absolutely YES we can.  BUT let's take a step back to understand BURNOUT which can happen to anyone routinely exposed to high levels of stress, whether work-related OR not.  It can cause symptoms of exhaustion, even depression and worst, isolation📗📙📘

So, if ever we experience a severe stress condition that leads to either severe physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, it could even worsen than just ordinary fatigue.  BURNOUT makes it challenging for people to cope with stress and even handle day-to-day responsibilities.  People experiencing BURNOUT often feel like they have nothing left to give and may even dread getting out of bed each morning.  They may even adopt a pessimistic outlook towards life💎💎💎

Sadly, BURNOUT doesn't go away on its own and, if left untreated, it can lead to serious physical and psychological illnesses like depression, heart disease and diabetes.  Question is, how do we catch BURNOUT?  Anyone's who's continually exposed to high levels of stress can experience BURNOUT.  Personality characteristics like needing to be in CONTROL and PERFECTIONISM may lead us towards BURNOUT as well📌📌📌

Fact of life, heavy workloads and deadline pressures are a fact of life.  WHO doesn't feel overwhelmed OR stretched thin sometimes?  BUT when relentless work stress pushes you into that debilitating state we call BURNOUT, it becomes a serious problem affecting NOT just your own performance and well-being, both ON and OFF the job, BUT also that of your family, your team💧💧💧

Our takeaways?  Let us hear from the experts WHOSE studies proved that EXHAUSTION is the central symptom of BURNOUT.  THAT it comprises profound physical, cognitive and emotional fatigue that undermines peoples ability to work effectively and feel POSITIVE about what they're doing.  When EXHAUSTED, you'll find you're unable to concentrate OR see the BIG PICTURE and even routine tasks would seem arduous.  CAN WE AVOID BURNOUT?  Absolutely dude😌😌😌

You Can Only Go As Far As Options You Have

You Can Only Go As Far As The Options You Have

OPTIONS OPTIONS OPTIONS.  We survive OR fail based on any of the OPTIONS we have in life.  You Can Only Go As Far As Options You Have and numerous times, I heard someone blurt out [as a post-mortem] that he had NO other options left to choose OR at worst, there was barely any option left for him to decide on.  OR when one hits the wall, one simply passes the buck on those available options he was limited to choose from.  BUT do we agree that, OPTIONS or NO OPTIONS, the ball is on your court📗📙📘

Frankly, though, I strongly disagree with those skewed mindsets.  The thing is, all things being equal, fair and square, we all have three choices in our life.  Those three choices we have are in relation to situations and in particular our life situations that we may not be too happy with.  WHAT we mean by this is the current circumstance you may find yourself in.  Let's take a really simple example, wherein you are in a job you DON'T like.  And worse, you even hate it.  NOT to give up though.  Do you know that at the very least, you got three options to assess❓❓❓

• REMOVE yourself from that situation
• CHANGE that situation you are in now
• ACCEPT the situation.  Keep the status quo

In brief, you have the options and choices that will be the necessary inputs for you to make an informed decision💧💧💧

With that scenario, you could make changes to the situation so that you DON'T continue to hate it.   You could either find a new job and remove yourself from that situation OR if you are unable to do either of those options, the only recourse left for you is to accept the situation, which means, maintaining the status quo.  Something that can help with this is to identify WHAT the job allows you to do, WHY are you grateful for having that job now and how can you change💥💥💥

Yes dude, as this poster loudly screams, 'YOU ARE AS FREE AS YOUR OPTIONS'.  Our takeaway?  Ultimately we all have choices in life, we all have the ability to choose, the issues come WHEN we DON'T feel empowered to make the right choice that will benefit us.  So dude, it's NOT that you DON'T have options at all❌❌❌

People Around You

People Around You

As English Poet John Donne aptly said it, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.  Exactly.  And more than that, other people's thoughts and behaviors influence you.  The people with WHOM you surround yourself affect your potential.  Yes, this is NOT just pure speculation.  A person's economic mobility is largely determined by the community they live in.  Children from low income communities are less likely to have high earning potential than their affluent peers.  Indeed, it's hard to break out of your surroundings with People Around You📗📙📘

Groups of friends MAY subconsciously pick up one another's behaviors and living style.  They use similar phrases WHEN they speak, and they may influence each other's clothing choices.  The effect of PEER GROUPS has notp gone unnoticed even in the workplace.  To quote respected American author Jim Rohn, 'YOU ARE THE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH'.  This says much about the People Around You📌📌📌

Like WHEN we surround ourselves with strong, high-achievers with good character, we are MORE LIKELY to become like them.  On the other hand, imagine HOW much of a NEGATIVE influence low-achievers can have on you. If your five best friends have a poor outlook on life and are satisfied with sub-par results and outcomes in life, there is a very strong likelihood that some of the NEGATIVITY will rub off on you.  The thing is, the influence of People Around You is easily overlooked [even by you yourself]❎❎❎

This poster from Albert Einstein did grab me by my lapels because this one-liner may have been uttered by him way back the 1800s but it does hold water.  Surely you are aware of people's influence [whether it's POSITIVE or NEGATIVE] on you gets unconsciously overlooked.  WHAT's our takeaway here?  In order to improve your life, associate with people with higher standards than you.  If you have high expectations for yourself and you surround yourself with people WHO also have bold expectations, very likely you'll have better quality of life with People Around You💧💧💧

Yes, this is the thing.  So WHAT's our takeaway today?  Everything that you allow into your life and every action you take reflects WHO you are.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  I DIDN'T mean that you have to have the fanciest things in life OR work in the corner office right away, BUT it does mean that you do the best with WHATEVER means you have.  You DON'T have to be the 'TOP DOG' of your organization to do an excellent work.  You DON'T have to be wealthy to keep things organized.  Going above and beyond will take you to the next level of success.  If you feel stagnating in your current situation, it might be time to make some changes with People Around You✅✅✅

Is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?

Is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?

For alignment, let's agree that SELF-CONTROL is that ability to control our feelings, emotions, and reactions.  Many people struggle with SELF-CONTROL.  For example, we need SELF-CONTROL when it comes to staying off social media while at work, sticking to a budget, regulating sugar intake. So, is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?  Scientists continue to study the importance of SELF-CONTROL as a force we can tap into for a more successful , satisfying life.  So, can we further enhance this❓❓❓

Having said this, there is a NOT so raging debate going on whether SELF-CONTROL is GOOD or BAD?  Indeed, it is believed to be key to success in many aspects of life, whether that's getting a promotion at work, sticking to your workout regime or resisting that constant temptation of a sweet treat WHEN you're watching WHAT you eat.  BUT NOT to dampen our hopes on it, the 2018 theory of Professor Thomas Lynch says that high SELF-CONTROL may NOT always be a GOOD thing.  Worse, for some, it could be linked to certain mental health problems.  That Lynch Theory says that everyone of us leans more toward one of the two personality types, namely, UNDERCONTROL or OVER-CONTROL📗📙📘

That theory says further that the way we tend to lean depends on many factors, and that includes our genes, the behavior that people around reward and discourage, our life experiences, and the coping strategies we use in everyday life.  Importantly, being UNDERCONTROLLED or OVERCONTROLLED is neither GOOD or BAD.  While it makes us more likely to behave in a certain way, most of us are psychologically flexible and can adapt to the different situations we're put in.  So, regardless whether we're OVERCONTROLLED or UNDERCONTROLLED, this flexibility helps us deal with life's challenges and setbacks in a constructive way💧💧💧

BUT experts caution us that both UNDERCONTROL and OVERCONTROL can become problematic.  And this usually happens WHEN a combination of biological, social, and personal factors makes us much less flexible.  Most of us are probably more familiar with WHAT problematic UNDERCONTROL looks like.  People WHO are highly UNDERCONTROLLED may have few inhibitions and struggle to control their emotions.  Their behavior may become unpredictable as it is often dependent on the mood they're in.  This can NEGATIVELY affect their relationships, education, work, finances and even their health❎❎❎

WHAT's scary is PROBLEMATIC OVERCONTROL.  Unfortunately, OVERCONTROL isn't talked about as much.  This may be because OVERCONTROLLED traits, such as persistence, the ability to make plans and stick to them. , striving for perfection and being in CONTROL of emotions are often highly regarded in our society.  BUT when OVERCONTROL becomes an issue, it can be damaging in many areas of life.  Our takeaways?  Think of OVERCONTROL scenarios like overly limiting your sugar intake till your sugar-levels will dip way below of WHAT is required.  You'll be rushed to the E.R. surely [I went through that nightmare when it happened to a relative].  So, WHAT's our take?  Take a BALANCED approach in life, dude✅✅✅

Are We MAGNETIC Enough?

Are We MAGNETIC Enough?

Are We MAGNETIC Enough?  Easy question.  YES we are absolutely MAGNETIC, regardless whether we are on the correct OR wrong PATH in life.  And this is WHEN it becomes crucial and imperative that we need to be on the RIGHT PATH.  Back to being MAGNETIC, it is true that NOT everyone is born with a MAGNETIC personality because generally, that is an evolving process of becoming more MAGNETIC, influential and persuasive.  It is that ability to attract and control people's attention. MAGNETIC people have that certain charisma and presence that makes them stand out from the rest.  They are able to influence and persuade others with ease, sometimes effortlessly📗📙📘

To ease my selling of that MAGNETIC personality, let's walk down on its most obvious benefits.  One of the most obvious benefits of people with that MAGNETIC personality is that typically, they are more successful in both their professional and even personal lives.  And they are more likely to be promoted and achieve their goals.  They are also more likely to have fulfilling and satisfying relationships✅✅✅

Oh yes, another obvious thing, MAGNETIC personalities generally seem more likeable and even attractive to others.  They are able to make a positive impression and build strong relationships.  They are also good at networking and making connections.  This can be beneficial in both their personal and even professional lives.  Oh yes, these MAGNETIC personalities are perceived to be more energetic and enthusiastic and are optimistic and have a positive outlook on life.  That energy becomes contagious and it inspires others to be more POSITIVE as well💧💧💧

People with MAGNETIC personalities are always perceived to have that STRONG presence and are able to capture people's attention.  They are interesting and engaging speakers as well.  They also have a lot of charisma.  This can be beneficial in both their personal and professional lives.  So, the question worth asking is, HOW can we develop that MAGNETIC personality❓❓❓

Our takeaways?  Primero, we need to know WHAT we want very clearly.  Feel your emotions.  Segundo, let us believe strongly that you can make your wishes come true.  That is more than just being POSITIVE.  WHICH means having a strong belief in your own worth and the endless possibilities around you.  I once read this comment:  THE UNIVERSE WORKS LIKE A RADIO.  WHEN you think POSITIVELY and CONFIDENTLY, you will attract GOOD THINGS into your life.  Yes, to be MAGNETIC helps✅✅✅

No Shortage of OVERTHINKING

No Shortage of OVER-THINKING

Seriously, OVERTHINKING is as common as the natural air we got. No Shortage of OVER-THINKING indeed.  There is simply NO shortage of situations for us to OVERTHINK in today's rat race-based world.  Sometimes, you might feel like you're the only one lying awake at night, dwelling on a decision you made earlier that day OR worrying about tomorrow's To-do List.  BUT, hey dude, you're NOT alone because as per researches, 73% of 25 to 35 years old and 52% of ages 45 to 55 all OVERTHINK📗📙📘

According to studies, in majority of cases studied, OVERTHINKING could manifest or surface out as RUMINATION, which often involves perseverating on events of the PAST and even the PRESENT with a NEGATIVE mindset.  WHETHER your tendency of overthinking takes you into the past or focuses on the future, experts counsel us that there are POSITIVE ways to reframe our thoughts with considerably LESS STRESS😑😑😑

BUT before this thread goes out of hand, experts assure us that OVERTHINKING by itself is NOT a mental illness at all!  Instead, it is associated with conditions including depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance use disorders.  On the other hand, RUMINATION can be common in people WHO have chronic pain and chronic illness as well, taking the form of NEGATIVE thoughts about that pain and healing from it.  Sometimes, worry and RUMINATION may even trick our brain into associating itself with something beneficial💧💧💧

Experts advise us to watch out for these tell-tale signs:

• You fixate on NEGATIVE feedback
• You tend to bring up PAST FAILURES
• You're overly cautious to AVOID mistakes

We are further advised that since WORRYING can't really be avoided [because that is part of REALITY], consider to schedule a 'WORRY TIME'.  Instead of letting RUMINATION overrun your entire day, confine it to a manageable slot, like 15 to 30 minutes✅✅✅

Another hole in the ground we sometimes fell through is what experts call 'FUTURE TRIPPING' where we are preoccupied in anticipation of WHAT lies ahead.  Tell-tale signs?

• Exerting EXCESSIVE ENERGY to plan out
• Difficulty to celebrate small successes because you are so PREOCCUPIED with the future

Dude, there is NO shortage in OVERTHINKING but you got to halt and stop it, period❗❗❗

Let's BREAK AWAY From Our BAD HABITS

Let's BREAK AWAY From Our BAD HABITS

No sirrrrs, I DON'T come clean enough.  Because I had my fair share of BAD HABITS.  BUT who says that everything is cast in stone?  NOT true.  NOT at all.  So, Let's BREAK AWAY From Our BAD HABITS.  In our gruelling daily lives, how often we ask ourselves, WHERE did the hours go?  WHY did the tasks take that long?  WHY do we feel unfulfilled at the end of the day?  Could we find the common denominator for all those interrogatives?  Yesirrrrrs, you hit the nail on its head.  The common culprit are our time-wasting habits💎💎💎

If you're perplexed, we DON'T need to dig deep to figure out the most common culprits.  LIKE your endless scrolling. Raise your hand if you've ever stumbled down the 'infinite scroll rabbit hole' on social media.  We all know the recurring pattern.  You just wanted to check on a message for a while but it turns out it stretches to an hour of mindless swiping of countless checks here and there.  Oh Oh, TIME EVAPORATES, leaving you with a vague sense of unease and the nagging feeling you accomplished nothing.  BTW, DON'T be fooled by those well-curated 'endless feeds'.  And WHEN you haven't subscribed, you'll get prompted to FOLLOW and SUBSCRIBE📗📙📘

So, let's NOT feel or act surprised that social media is here to stay and everything about it is designed to be addictive, hijacking your attention and turning you into a passive consumer of content.  Think of it like a casino slot machine, dispensing DOPAMINE hits every few scroll, keeping you hooked just long enough for another click.  BUT hold on, ISN'T it that social media is damn great to be connected to?  Absolutely.  Of course.  It is a powerful tool for communications and our communities.  BUT just like that tempting delicious slice of cake, too much can be detrimental.  We WON'T eat an entire cake in one sitting, right?  WHY do we subject ourselves to an unlimited buffet of digital distractions❓❓❓

NOW, here's the harsh truth.  That infinite scroll is a silent productivity KILLER.  Psychologists concluded in their studies that constant distractions shatter our ability to focus, leaving us fragmented and incapable of deep thinking.  It's like trying to write a novel in a crowded coffee shop, that constant noise will drown out any meaningful thought.  So, how do we BREAK AWAY From Our BAD HABITS?  Easier said than that BUT start with, SETTING BOUNDARIES.  Treat social media like a delicious dessert, a small indulgence to be enjoyed in moderation💧💧💧

Fearing BOREDOM?  Embrace BOREDOM.  The fear of missing out [FOMO] is a powerful tool used to keep us glued to our screens.  BUT experts say that BOREDOM can be a breeding ground for creativity and critical thinking.  Our takeaway?  Let your mind wander, step away from the screen and see WHAT sparks of inspiration might ignite you.  Let's BREAK AWAY From Our BAD HABITS❎❎❎

Need To REBOOT?

Need To REBOOT?

Seriously, when do we REBOOT or RESET in our life?  Yes it is true, we all face FAILURE at one point OR another, whether it is in our home life, our work life  and in our daily personal lives.  And WHEN we experience a major FAILURE, finding a strength to move forward can be one of the most difficult parts of that process in life.  Now, of all stuffs in life, the most challenging thread we can pursue is discussing FAILURE because sometimes, OR likely most of the time, once we are hitting the floor, that path towards recovery may seem to be a very steep hill OR mountain to climb📗📙📘

So, let's play out real-life scenarios.  FAILURE hits us.  WHAT then?  WHAT now?  Psychologists advise that, first and foremost, let us LOOK BACK as to HOW YOU DID IT BEFORE.  Look back and remember a time when you were able to move past a significant challenge.  WHAT motivated you that time?  WHAT kept you going?  WHAT made you resilient?  WHAT learning from this past experience can you apply to this current situation❓❓❓

Moving on, let us OPENLY accept FAILURE as part of our learning process.  BTW, be forewarned that that learning process will last our lifetime.  With every FAILURE, there is always a window of opportunity to turn it around.  You must NOT miss that opportunity while wallowing in your grief [arising from a FAILURE].  Instead, get ready for the next upcoming opportunity by FOCUSING on establishing a plan to apply the LESSONS LEARNED.  And WHEN you get hit with FAILURE, remember that an action FAILED and it was NOT you FAILING📌📌📌

And before you end up sulking in a corner for that FAILURE, go FAST FORWARD and think about your future COMEBACK PLAN.  Looking back my life, when I now looked back, with clarity and certainty, I know WHEN I have been proud of my response and WHEN I wish I handled things differently.  So, these days when I get hit with a FAILURE, I would always look back and plot a COMEBACK PLAN💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  Experts strongly encourage us to use POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONs and they recommend that a first strategy is to 'short circuit' your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS by using POSITIVE SELF-AFFIRMATIONS.  Those POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS include any phrase that reminds you of WHO you are as a person and serve as an encouragement to stay resilient in the face of adversity.  Experts claim that SELF AFFIRMATIONS [like 'I AM ENOUGH' or 'I BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS'] serve to boost our confidence, broaden our perspective, decrease the impact of a potential NEGATIVE event will have on you and from a bigger perspective, it should promote our optimistic outlook❗❗❗

Beware: Latest AI Scams !

Beware:  Latest AI Scams !

AI [ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE] has come and it's everywhere!  More than that, it is reaching latest unprecedented heights, which, for lack of a better adjective, are terrifying updates [call it PROGRESS] of AI.  You might ask, what is there to be Beware about the latest AI scams !  The past months, I did hear about AI voice cloning and that caused me to fall off my chair but hold your breath for the latest AI scam📌📌📌

In today's Channelnewsasia commentary titled "A US $25 million Hong Kong deepfake scam shows new AI risks in video calls".  How did the scammers pull off this feat?  Oh Oh, these scammers used artificial intelligence to disguise themselves on a video conference and swipe US $25 million from a Hong Kong-based company.  So, the perplexing question is:  How is ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE going to the next level?  Let's take a step back.  When did this ZOOM calls got introduced into our lives?  Remember, ZOOM calls all started when we were all got locked down by Covid-19 pandemic❎❎❎

And to see that these AI SCAMS did not come from a BIG BANG thing, it modestly started when we heard about SCAMS, it was revolving around voice cloning.  So, at that point, we were alerted and oriented how to spot and detect phishing emails and resist the urge to click on some dodgy attachments.  Of course, despite all our awareness, hackers, fraudsters and scammers need just one person out of hundreds to inadvertently download a malware needed to 'tunnel' into a corporate network💎💎💎

Ironically, much as the quantum leaps in technology brought us forward way beyond the brick and mortar days, with ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE-powered video tools, they have broken ground and achieved breakthroughs [if we may ironically call it such] by moving into territories we all [wrongly] thought to be considered SAFE enough.  WHAT this tells us are the significant strides DEEPFAKE TECHNOLOGY has really developed, all within the past one year.  And while it seems to be more science fiction than anything else, these elaborate frauds are now relatively easy to set up.  Scary indeed💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  Let's NOT be complacent at all, just because maybe you've never been a scam victim [YET] because, knock on wood, all these deepfake scams will hit hard on us at those moments when we feel either relaxed or just so cockily confident.  How scary things can be?  Go to Google now and openly, it gives the step-by-step guide how to create a deepfake video.  Scary days indeed.  Let's be wary of all these😌😌😌