Our Common Enemy

Our Common Enemy

Do you know that more than the global geo-political conflicts like U.S. versus China, Israel versus Hamas and so on, everyone of us share Our Common Enemy spelled E-G-O?  And surely, everyone of us were victims of our own EGO at some points in our past [if not at the present].  I also bear witness to people I know first hand who 'fell off the cliff' NOT because of anything else but due to their EGO💴💷💵

For alignment, let me quote this definition:  AN UNHEALTHY BELIEF IN OUR OWN IMPORTANCE.  ARROGANCE.  SELF-CENTERED AMBITION.  IT IS THAT PETULANT CHILD INSIDE EVERY PERSON, THE ONE THAT CHOOSES GETTING HIS OR HER WAY OVER ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE.  THE NEED TO BE BETTER THAN, MORE THAN, RECOGNIZED FOR, FAR PAST ANY REASONABLE UTILITY, THAT IS EGO, THAT SENSE OF SUPERIORITY THAT EXCEEDS THE BOUNDS OF CONFIDENCE AND TALENT'📌📌📌

Mother of ironies here, a three-letter word is defined in one long, circuitous paragraph.  So, why don't we hold the bull by its horns, what makes EGO our common enemy?

• It keeps us OUT OF TOUCH with reality
• It creates UNREALISTIC expectations
• It makes you DEPENDENT on external validation

Even the great Albert Einstein created this formula for our EGO.  Indeed, one of the biggest reasons why EGO is our own enemy is that it keeps you out of touch with reality.  Your EGO is WHAT prevents you from hearing critical BUT necessary feedback from others.  EGO makes you to over-estimate your own abilities and worth and correspondingly, under-estimate the effort and skill required to achieve your goals✅✅✅

All of this means that you lose touch with reality, and in the end, you will likely miss opportunities, whether it is to improve, to connect with others, and to achieve your goals.  Our takeaway?  Creating unrealistic expectations means that EGO makes you assume that you deserve some outcome, whether it's a job offer, a promotion, all because of your past efforts.  Let's RIGHT THE WRONGS this early, dude, because EGO IS OUR COMMON ENEMY❗❗❗

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.

Adapt, Adjust, Accept, Full Stop.  My apologies if this is NOT the first time I am pitching for this one-liner [SIMPLY because this is my most fav one-liner] because I just WON'T slow down pushing and pitching for this because, in practical terms, I can attest to have successfully proven this tack many times in the past [till today] especially WHEN a shade of CHANGE creeps into the equation.  Unfortunately, I need to tie-up Adapt, Adjust, Accept.  Fyi, this is a bundled-in spiel that CAN'T be translated into a 'CUT and DRY' approach.  Let's consider to Adapt, Adjust, Accept💴💷💵

Oh, surely, everyone wants NO less than BLISSFULNESS in life.  BUT to reach that euphoric point in life requires tons of efforts exerted in the midst of CHANGE.  So, how do we roll-out this approach? First off, exert your best to Adapt to a new situation, be it WHEN settling down, WHEN parting ways, WHEN suddenly being jobless, WHEN in a new job📗📙📘

Now comes the hard part.  WHAT IF you CAN'T adapt to the recent CHANGE?  That is WHEN you endeavor to ADJUST.  Obviously, ADJUSTING is as easy as pronouncing BUT to execute it, it takes a lot of gumption to get into the ADJUST phase.  WHY?  You got to tweak things, prune things, shave off and many times, surrender some precious private space, as a modus vivendi📍📍📍

Thing is, the world NEVER stops changing and the only constant is CHANGE itself.  Whether it's a shift in your career, a twist in your personal life OR a 'shake up' in your daily routine, CHANGE is really inevitable.  BUT, it is NOT the CHANGE itself that defines us BUT it is HOW do we respond to it❗❗❗

In a NOT so pleasant but realistic scenario where you did all the tweaks and YET you failed to ADJUST, you are left with one last card, you need to get into that ACCEPTANCE phase.  ACCEPT the CHANGE but knock on wood, you still fail to ACCEPT the CHANGE, bail out, dude, bail out😡😡😡

The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses

The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses

RJ Andrews, a top data visualization expert and founder of INFO WE TRUST, an information graphic studio  company, drilled and diced across the 161 top geniuses of all time and filtered to get The Top 16 Geniuses.  And guess what is The Most Common Thing Among The Top 16 Geniuses.  NOT their successes.  NOT their trailblazing stories💴💷💵

Guess WHAT was the result of his research?  Except for Wolfgang Mozart, the other Top 15 Geniuses all shared one commonality and that is, every 24 hours, they all spent between seven to nine hours of sleep everyday.  Science tells us there's a VERY REAL connection between CREATIVITY and SLEEP😀😀😀

Often neglected [I am damn guilty of it for many years in the past], SLEEP is a vital component of every person's overall health and well-being.  SLEEP is important because it enables our body to repair and be fit and ready for another day.  Getting adequate SLEEP may also help prevent potential heart disease and illnesses that stretch out in duration❌❌❌

Something peculiar about the study is that it DIDN'T seem to matter whether they went to bed late and got up late OR went to bed early and got up early OR even had a SLEEP routine that can only be described as bizarre.  Honore de Balzac, the French novelist, apparently slept from 6pm to 1am and with an additional 90-minute nap at 8am.  Aside from the importance of SLEEP, what else can we learn from these top geniuses❔❔❔

NOT a surprise, Charles Darwin, the top genius best known for his contributions to Biology took three WALKS a day.  This research confirms that WALKING has benefits for mood and brain function, particularly if you do it in any sort of natural setting.  BTW, these Top Geniuses are aware of the 'DECISION FATIGUE', hence they are sticklers to their routines.  And that explains why Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs wore the same outfit everyday.  WHY?  It takes one daily decision out of the equation.  Meanwhile, should we take a page from that commonality of the Top Genius by sticking to seven to nine hours of SLEEP everyday❓❓❓

Reward Yourself, dude!

Reward Yourself, dude!

Heard or seen folks who grind and kick their ass whole-year-round, sometimes, reachable 24x7 even if he deserves to recoup that Melatonin we need to top-up?  I know quite a number way beyond my pair of hands.  Sadly, I hardly see them take a break and REWARD themselves.  BUT WHO am I to ask.  Reward Yourself, dude📗📙📘

Human nature runs this way.  You exert everything and dedicate your time for a task out of the ordinary.  Of course, you would hope for a reward, in whatever form, regardless of the monetary value.  It could even be a pat on the back, a commendation, a promotion, a pay increase, even gift certificates🎉🎉🎉

After all, it is human nature that UNTIL and UNLESS we truly see the results of WHAT we did accomplish, our mind does NOT set itself in the proper form and keep self-motivated.  So, WHEN you show more productivity at work [a.k.a. EXTRA MILE], you expect the reward in the form you feel that is commensurate and just just😁😁😁

Sometimes, though, we get mixed up, mixing CRAVINGS ands REWARDS but they are worlds apart, dude.  Similarly, WHEN you start eating healthy OR exercising regularly, you expect your body weight to reduce.  However, these REWARDS take time.  Since then, it has been practically impossible to keep oneself that self-motivated✅✅✅

Now, WHAT's our takeaway?  Set a REWARD before you commence working on that task OR deliverable.  Typically, your work might start at 9 a.m. and it finishes at 5 p.m., that normal 9-5 work.  Then you start asking yourself, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO AS A REWARD FOR YOURSELF AFTER YOUR EFFORT TODAY?"  Thing is, DON'T treat yourself as an enemy BUT like family, like your own.  REWARD YOURSELF, dude when you deserve it❗❗❗

Can We Dump Our FEARS?

Can We Dump Our FEARS?

Can We Dump Our FEARS?  Tough task.  Tough ask.  That's a tough question, dude.  WHY?  Because there's a long list of fears and that list gets stretched if we include all the kinds of phobias.  And you'll be surprised, just for the phobias, there is a 500-long list [as per the Phobia List Website].  So, we DON'T want to get waylaid into that mile-long list of phobias BUT instead focus on the three main fears namely, ABANDONMENT, FAILURE and DEATH.  And we'll take all these up shortly but the quick ASK now.  What triggers most our FEARs📗📙📘

Allow me please to piggy-back on this cover by Jane Wong, a noted Chinese-American poet.  And I'd like to give my 2-cents here and I firmly believe that the common trigger of our FEARS boils down to a 2-word thing spelled W-H-A-T  I-F.  WHAT IF I pursue that course and I fail to hurdle the State Board Exam?  WHAT IF I immigrate but struggle to find a decent job there?  WHAT IF I marry her and I end up with responsibilities way beyond my capacity?  WHAT IF I accept that job offer but fail to 'deliver the goods'?  WHAT IF I invest in stocks and I lose my investment instead?  WHAT IF I buy myself a comprehensive medical insurance but I would hardly get sick, so how can I recoup my payments?  WHAT IF I order online but the product is inferior!@#$?

We can go on and on and do we agree that the common culprit [at least in the above examples] are all the WHAT IFs!@#$?  So, how can we expect someone to really make a move and make a decision and execute that decision if he/she gets hampered with all these WHAT IFs.  We're NOT making a 180-degree turn here and disown WHAT IFs because in a bit, I'll clarify as to when should we invoke WHAT IFs📌📌📌

So, before I get pounced, WHEN do we invoke WHAT IFs?  It is when we are going through a FEASIBILITY or PLANNING exercise wherein we inject all the WHAT IFs.  This is the appropriate perspective for the WHAT IFs as you go through that iteration cycle and come up with the best optimal option.  BUT for us to invoke WHAT IFs each time we are in the middle of taking action or making a move, I'm afraid that will be akin to ANALYSIS PARALYSIS❎❎❎

Instead, we'd like to encourage everyone that while there is no 'silver bullet' solution in handling our FEARS, let us increase both our awareness and our consciousness that if our WHAT IFs gets stretched, how far can we 'nip in the bud' when FEAR starts creeping❓❓❓

Never FORCE Yourself To Use FORCE

Never FORCE Yourself To Use FORCE

Never FORCE Yourself To Use FORCE.  We would often hear that as a reminder to the police and the army personnel BUT did we ever hear that REMINDER to every layman like us?  I can't remember, NOT even once.  But early today, I overheard an American retiree sharing her words of wisdom in FB.  And that woke me up [too late though] to realize that one too many conflicts in life did and do happen because at least one party 'FORCED' his way💴💷💵

Let's walk back down our respective 'MEMORY LANES' and let's recall.  WHERE there time times in the past when you seemed to FORCE your very opinionated side on others?  OR was it WHEN you FORCED your preferred option as the way to go without securing the concurrence/consent of the other party?  OR was there a time you wanted to go 'malling' OR shopping but your partner/spouse gave you a cold shoulder and YET, you still FORCED your way there?  OR remember that brainstorming at work WHEN you were at loggerheads with your colleague and without getting their BUY-IN, you still went ahead❌❌❌

BTW, getting someone's BUY-IN is a must-do and must-have even in circumstances and situations WHEN/WHERE you're kind of 'calling the shots'.  You might challenge me, WHY do we need to get the BUY-IN to your initiative at work if it happens you are the manager OR leader?  Simple answer.  To execute that proposition, WON'T you need other team members?  Their 'arms and legs?  Their cooperation?  Their collective effort?  And even assuming you can do everything on your own without them, HOW does it feel if you did it without their BUY-IN❔❔❔

OR everything is ALL IN THE FAMILY.  A common example, here you are, having a modest amount to budget for a new home appliance and your preference is for a premium audio system while your spouse/partner wants to upgrade her washing machine from that top-load model to a front-load one and doubling the capacity [because of your family's needs].  Alas, you went ahead and bought that audio system.  WHAT happens next, we all know, right❓❓❓

Our takeaway for today?  Getting BUY-IN for ideas is essential step whether at your home with your family, at work or even in your entrepreneurial forays.  Securing the BUY-IN ensures that everyone is part of the decision-making and getting alignment and even incorporate objections and/or feedback before rolling out you or your idea.  Thing is, NEVER FORCE YOURSELF TO USE FORCE❗❗❗

When Elephants Fight, The Grass Suffers

When Elephants Fight, The Grass Suffers

When Elephants Fight, The Grass Suffers.  WHAT a proverb indeed and Mr Google defines this as 'WHEN POWERFUL FORCES GO TO WAR, IT'S THEIR PEOPLE WHO ARE HURT.  THOSE WO NEVER ASKED FOR THE CONFLICT IN THE FIRST PLACE ARE CAUGHT, AND KILLED, IN THE CROSSFIRE'.  Well said and instantly, I can relate countless life scenarios.  At home.  At work.  In business.  In local and geo-politics.  Or literally speaking, even out there in the wilderness, when animals end up in a fight like this💥💥💥

Allow me to share this poster I grabbed from Dr Cai Yiming, one of Singapore's most respected experts in Psychiatry and Emeritus Consultant at Singapore's Child Guidance Clinic.  Honestly, my eyeballs almost dropped when I stumbled across Dr Yiming's book cover because this picture speaks a zillion words.  Everyone can relate to this, across cultures, across generations, across economic strata.  WHEN couples fight [and worse, end up in a standoff, and worst, end up in that scary acrimonious fight], guess WHO else gets 'caught' in the midst of crossfires.  More often, the casualty are the 'innocent bystanders'.  Pitiful indeed😶😶😶

Let's take a sneak preview of those corporate wars happening [sometimes outside their board rooms].  Imagine those cage fights between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg.  Who says that their rivalry is just a skirmish?  God knows, when the dust settles, what will be the ramifications NOT just to their respective business agenda but to us consumers❕❕❕

And as much as we DON'T expect those business rivalries to show any signs of slowing down and simmer down anytime now, we WON'T spend time in the business space.  Instead, let's zoom in down to our domestic situations.  True, couples argue and many times, those tiffs lead to a full-blown quarrel and when emotions 'skyrocket', WHAT else to expect than that 'full blown' war [maybe at a less magnitude [OF COURSE] than the raging war between Israel and the Hamas factions in Palestine.  Picture out a very messy scenario WHEN expletives are hurled back and forth, and WHEN it DOESN'T seem to be enough, objects are literally flying [I had an ex-colleague who confided that twice he had to replace his theater-wide LCD]❎❎❎

Now, let's make things murkier.  WHAT IF the protagonists are physically 10,000 miles apart and yet a quarrel starts.  Imagine all-out conflagrations happening virtually.  And when children get squeezed amidst the crossfires, God knows what happens next.  So, WHEN ELEPHANTS FIGHT, THE GRASS SUFFERS😕😕😕

Can $$$$$$ Buy Happiness?

Can $$$$$$ Buy Happiness?

Can $$$$$$ Buy Happiness?  Surely we are all on the same side and scream NO WAY!  BUT even philosophers, economists and social scientists have all grappled with this question and recent studies produced results overturning that dominant MYTH that went through centuries.  BUT a recent study in the United States pegged those studies to the financial capabilities of respondents and it showed that when their income did hit $75,000, their joy was leveling out📗📙📘

This threshold was initially posited in a 2010 study which concluded that 'EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING' also rises with log income BUT there is NO further progress beyond an annual income of $75,000.  BUT that study was most recently overturned by another most recent study which found that HAPPINESS does NOT plateau at all after $75,000 and that 'experienced well-being' can continue to rise with income well beyond $200,000.  To be realistic, that latest research was pitted against earlier studies and adjusted to reflect inflation📌📌📌

Those conflicting studies was interesting enough because each debunked each other BUT ending up with two BIG conclusions, namely:  First, that HAPPINESS continues to rise with income even in the high range of incomes for the vast majority, showing that for many of us, on average having more money can make us increasingly HAPPIER.  BUT the study also found that there was indeed an 'UNHAPPY MINORITY' whose UNHAPPINESS diminishes with rising income up to a certain threshold, then shows NO progress thereafter😊😊😊

Studies showed that people tend to experience negative miseries that typically CAN'T be alleviated by earning more $$$$$$$$.  Apparently, outliers like heartache, bereavement OR clinical depression were triggers of outliers BUT it did NOT alter their conclusions❌❌❌

What's my take here?  Regardless if $$$$ can buy HAPPINESS or not, let us develop that mindset that our HAPPINESS does NOT hinge on $$$$ at all.  If monies will flow in, it's 'manna from heaven' BUT if the coffers have dried up, that should NOT be a trigger to reverse the upswing of our HAPPINESS at all❗❗❗

What's The Aftermath Of Your 'BUSYNESS'

What's The Aftermath Of Your 'BUSYNESS'

I am NOT one to insinuate a sweeping allegation that we are BUSY DOING NOTHING but let's think about it please.  What's The Aftermath Of Your 'BUSYNESS'?  I'm absolutely sure that no one can claim that he was 100% productive of the 100% time he/she was 'BUSY'!@#$%?  I am even confident that 30% at the very least would admit that he/she was NOT legitimately BUSY💴💷💵

To be fair, many of us are legitimately BUSY.  You need NOT look farther than our spouse-housewife WHO, may not have a full-time job BUT hey, she's working and grinding damn hard effectively around the clock, on her foot when everyone's snoring and still down there when most of us are into our gadgets by then.  So, this leaves us no room at all to cast aspersion because legitimately, they are that BUSY and frankly, many times, OVERLOADED.  Where's the beef here?  When one's OVERLOADED, next step is to PRIORITIZE.  BUT let's face it, if you have a laundry list, how can you PRIORITIZE📗📙📘

Now, let's take a step back.  WHAT are the ramifications of being BUSY, regardless if your being BUSY is legitimate OR not.  First off, being BUSY means you become LESS creative.  WHY?  As you're so focused on your task[s] at hand, what else can encourage you to be creative?  Secondly, that kills outright your SELF-DEVELOPMENT.  How in the world can you think of learning new skills, being proactive in learning if you're that BUSY!@#$?

The ramifications of BUSYNESS goes way deep beyond the surface.  As hectic and frustrating as modern life can be, the biggest dangers are NOT material OR temporal inconveniences.  A person can do physical labor twelve hours a day, six days a week throughout his lifetime and still, NOT suffer many ill effects.  BUT if the strain is MENTAL, as is the case for most jobs and for most of us, the NEGATIVE impact on the body can be huge.  So, let us NOT please ignore the potential physical harm BUSYNESS may bring about❎❎❎

The harsh consequence behind our lives is that WHEN we are CRAZY BUSY, we put our souls at risk.  The challenge is NOT merely to make a few bad habits go away.  The CHALLENGE is to NOT let our spiritual lives fritter away, slip away.  The dangers are serious enough and this is NOT hyperbole, because such dangers are ever growing and increasing.  And YET, a few of us still [wrongly] think that we are safely ensconced from whatever the AFTERMATH OF YOUR BUSYNESS brings forth.  No sirrrrs, that risk, that threat is damn real because it's happening day-in day-out now❌❌❌

Let's Dump NEGATIVITY Down There

Let's Dump NEGATIVITY Down There

Let's Dump NEGATIVITY Down There.  Seriously, enough of NEGATIVITY.  Let's leave it behind.  Let it eat our dust.  Flip over.  Let's welcome POSITIVITY instead.  This is reality.  We view the world through our MENTAL ATTITUDE.  If that ATTITUDE is predominantly NEGATIVE, it can likely impact everything, including health, family, career and even more [sadly].  Furthermore, NEGATIVE thinking can have a spiraling effect that attracts more NEGATIVE thinking.  BUT hey, this is no rocket science.  Let's listen to what experts share💴💷💵

Primero, experts [ironically] recommend that you will allocate a fixed TEN MINUTES daily to ruminate and review everything NEGATIVE.  Jot down your NEGATIVE thought [because that's NOT unavoidable] and tell yourself you'll look into it during your 10-minute NEGATIVE time.  And as per their studies, over time, you will gain CONTROL and eventually, that NEGATIVE thought will stop because it is left with NO elbow room, NO wiggle space left for it to spread out and further weaken the foundations of your life📗📙📘

Segundo, and this is quite a tough one.  REPLACE those NEGATIVE thoughts.  To quote the experts, "WE DON'T OVERCOME NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS.  WE REPLACE THEM".  In practical terms, experts suggest these steps to REPLACE:

• NOTICE when that NEGA-PATTERN starts
• ACKNOWLEDGE to change that NEGA-PATTERN
• ARTICULATE what you want to be different
• Lastly, CHOOSE a behavior, one that serves your goals and consistent with your POSITIVITY

Tercero, BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.  Experts claim that, frankly, we are mean to our ourselves and nearly 90% of SELF-TALK is NEGATIVE.  So, how do we flip this over?  

• RELEASE IT - Let it out to help process and not dwell. Then allocate three minutes, that PITY PARTY should be over.
• TRACK IT - Alert yourself when NEGATIVITY creeps in so you can 'nip things in the bud'
• REFRAME IT - When you feel you are MEAN, remember the nice words your beshie would tell you, then tell that to yourself LOUD enuf

Cuarto, WRITE INSTEAD of THINK.  Experts claim that writing down WHEN that NEGATIVE THOUGHT surfaces will help you PURGE that NEGATIVE THOUGHT out much easier.  This is human nature, things become easier when things become that obvious.  C'mon, LET'S DUMP NEGATIVITY!!!