[Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?

 [Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?

[Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?  What if we stay that FAILURE precedes SUCCESS?  Obviously, that will be debatable BUT this should NOT entail a hard push.  Let's look around at all the SUCCESSFUL people, they all failed before they succeeded.  I also humbly admit that I failed before I succeeded💴💵💷

We can rattle off the names of SUCCESSFUL people who FAILED miserably over and over again.  Bill Gates.  Elon Musk.  Steve Jobs.  There's a long list stretching by miles BUT in the shortest word, they transformed their FAILURES into SUCCESSES.  BTW, SUCCESS does NOT come to us the first time we try anything.  SUCCESS is the result of our mental strength to keep going at WHAT we desire till we get it right📗📙📘

When we are confronted with FAILURE, we tend to see all the NEGATIVEs associated with the FAILURE and the reaction 'others' will have with our FAILURE.  We completely overlook the benefits.  And IF we DON'T look at the POSITIVE aspects of FAILURE and if we DON'T change the way we look at our learnings, then our FAILURE may even potentially destroy us.  Now, let's dig up the most common triggers of FAILURE📌📌📌

Numero uno, we frequently fail because there is a HUGE GAP [a.k.a. MISMATCH] between your EXPECTATIONS versus the REALISTIC RESULT.  For simplicity, if during my younger years, I dreamed to be a pilot and as years passed, I never stopped dreaming to be a pilot until I realized I reached age 40 and still, I am working as a clerk or as a salesman.  At that point, I might tag myself then as a FAILURE because while I wanted to be a pilot, here I am, either a clerk or a salesman.  WHAT's our takeaway here?  There should be a VERY MINIMAL GAP between your EXPECTATION versus your CAPABILITY [to achieve that dream], ok❔❔❔

Segundo, sometimes we FAIL because FAILURE paralyses us.  Very often, we are so afraid of FAILING that we are NOT even willing to try.  As the old saying goes, 'TRYING and 'FAILING IS BETTER THAN NOT TRYING AT ALL'.  We should never be afraid to try.  The turtle can NEVER make progress if he does NOT stick his neck out.  There is always a reason that justifies INACTION.  We must NOT let our FEAR of FAILURE stop us❗❗❗

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?  Well, we all know what PROCRASTINATION is, so we won't waste time defining it.  BUT rather than sulk on it, WON'T it make sense if we figure out the very common triggers of PROCRASTINATION?  As this is endemic and almost everyone of us [including moi several times in the past] do fall prey to it at various points.  Worst, for some of us, it's becoming a HABIT.  For others, it is a pesky behavior that shows up when we're tired, unmotivated OR simply burned out📗📙📘

Thing is, PROCRASTINATION can take many forms and it can stem from all sorts of underlying causes.  From my past debacles, I realized that the best way to overcome PROCRASTINATION is to CONFRONT its source.  So, what are those possible sources?  Numero uno, PERFECTIONISM.  I'll admit my 'mea culpa' here, many times I tend to be a perfectionist and that has caused my slippages a few times📌📌📌

This seems counter-intuitive because if you want something done PERFECTLY, WHY wait to start it?  WHY put it off until the last second, sometimes way past the time it was due, WHEN you no longer had the time to ensure that it turns out the way you want?  I do agree that it makes sense than you might think.  If you have this grand idea of WHAT a project should be, you might be a little nervous to start it, right❔❔❔

WHAT IF it does not turn out the way you expected OR envisioned it?  WHAT IF you make a mistake and have to start over?  WHAT IF you try your best and it still ISN'T WHAT you want it to be?  WHAT IF you start at the wrong time, in the wrong head-space, and it screws everything up?  There are just tons of WHAT IFs here such that most scenarios will see you scratching your head❌❌❌

BUT me being a perfectionist, I admit that it DOESN'T necessarily mean that you do everything perfectly.  It just means that you have a 'PERFECT' ideal of how you want something to shape up and happen.  And sometimes, if that 'PERFECT' ideal seems intimidating or just overwhelming, it might even deter you from even starting what you should do.  Makes sense❓❓❓ C'mon, let's FIX PROCRASTINATION, dude❗❗❗

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY?  Here's the inequitable situation.  Some people seem to radiate POSITIVITY whereas others somehow leave us emotionally drained and manipulated.  TOXIC people impact our mental and emotional well-being, leaving us exhausted and stressed.  So, how can TOXIC people leave us feeling depleted and like a shell of our former selves❔❔❔

Now, here's the real-life thing.  Most of us work hard and most of us hardly complain, if at all.  BUT in essence, it is actually something most people lack sometimes, BUT it is NOT the usual reason for all one's discomfort.  You might even feel discomfort because you DIDN'T get any recognition from other people, even just for a little bit❌❌❌

Sometimes, we have done the right thing BUT people drag us down and blame us for their own mistake.  Being aware of it is important because if you DON'T realize it, you might keep blaming yourself OR other people.  Then, in the end, you would feel stressed and tired in the end.  Then one day, something comes into your mind.  There is 'SOMEWHERE' you want to be.  You might be imagining 'SOMEWHERE' else OR a place that you remember WHERE you feel peaceful and happy❎❎❎

Sometimes, you might think that you want to leave WHERE you are right now and believe that 'SOMEWHERE' else is better than the place you are right now.  Well, that might be a sign for you because our bodies can tell us WHEN we are actually NOT in the right condition.  The sad part is, without your awareness, you might start to question yourself📌📌📌

So, what's our insight here?  Acknowledge and recognize the environment you are in.  Is it really TOXIC [where you feel undervalued and/or disrespected?]  OR, is that probably a figment of your imagination?  After validating your situation, find a place WHERE you think you will become comfortable.  Thereafter, start by taking a SMALL STEP towards the place you want to be.  And build-on, even if it will take 'baby steps'.  By then, ask yourself if ARE YOU IN THE MIDST OF TOXICITY❓❓❓

Replicating The Best & The Brightest

Replicating The Best & The Brightest

No need to reinvent the wheel.  When SUCCESS matters, Replicating The Best & The Brightest is the way forward.  Unfortunately, though, SUCCESS is neither defined in the bible nor it is part of legislations well defined.  In fact, SUCCESS is nothing but a concept that is different for every person.  Whether it means having a great career, a home OR a family, SUCCESS is something everyone strives to achieve.  WHEN you achieve SUCCESS in your GOALS, it makes you feel proud, it motivates you to do well and let's you know you've made an impact in this very competitive world we're in💴💷💵

Now, let's run a simple, basic clinic by taking on Step1 which is to define SUCCESS but to do it, you should make a list of what SUCCESS looks like to you and your family.  Then, follow up with actionable steps you can take to achieve that SUCCESS.  Once that is done, we can rattle off a list of proven tracks towards SUCCESS but topping that list is COMMITMENT📗📙📘

Through COMMITMENT, you can gain that MOTIVATION to pursue SUCCESS.  To begin that process of setting a GOAL, ensure that besides your clearly defined GOAL, included are your level of COMMITMENT and your PLAN of ACTION.  Simply put, WHAT are you willing to do to achieve a specific GOAL.  It is non-negotiable to stay focused on your plan.  SUCCESS stories have one thing in common.  They put up 15 minutes daily to identify WHERE they are and WHAT are the next steps to be taken for a given day📌📌📌

Next, LEARN FROM YOUR JOURNEY.  Rather than focusing on the results of your accomplishments, take notice of the small steps needed to achieve SUCCESS.  If you allow yourself to enjoy small victories along the journey, reaching your GOAL will become a new adventure each day, and you will be more likely to stay on track.  By doing this, you will learn new and exciting things along the way, which can help you grow as a person✔✔✔

Next, have FUN along the way.  If the journey to achieve something becomes too tedious, succeeding will be more challenging.  Next, being POSITIVE is not just a slogan.  You've got to THINK POSITIVELY because developing a POSITIVE mindset is about trusting oneself and your ability to SUCCEED.  It's important to replace any NEGATIVE thoughts with POSITIVE ones to MOTIVATE yourself to keep trying NO matter WHAT challenges come your way.  On your path to become SUCCESSFUL, you're likely to learn new things and think differently than before.  BTW, your GOALS will NOT happen overnight so thinking POSITIVELY is vital as we REPLICATE THE BEST and the BRIGHTEST❗❗❗

WHO Sets Your Standards In Life?

WHO Sets Your Standards In Life?

STANDARDS are both inevitable and indispensable.  WHY?  You have a STANDARD for everything you do, whether it's buying a new shirt or working on your career.  There is a certain THRESHOLD where things pass from unbearable to frustrating to acceptable.  Question is, WHO Sets Your Standards In Life❓❓❓

As STANDARDS form the basis around which we determine our daily needs, being aware of your personal STANDARDS and their impact on your life is a crucial stage of self-awareness.  High STANDARDS often lead us to work longer and even harder on the task BUT that can also lead to greater DOUBTS and FRUSTRATIONS.  Low STANDARDS are much easier to meet and be content with, BUT you risk limiting yourself from doing anything above average if you only try to hit your low STANDARDS💴💷💵

There's even GOOD LIFE to consider. My own definition of a GOOD LIFE might be so humbling like just meeting squarely my basic needs!@#? Whereas your definition of GOOD LIFE includes hobnobbing at the CxO-level in the corporate world, being a top-tier executive of global OR Fortune 500 company.  There you go, the gap between that so humble [pardon me, I'll call it LOWLY] STANDARDS versus your challenging STANDARDS are as wide as the oceans📌📌📌

In brief, STANDARDS are everywhere. Your clothes must fit you well.  Your coffee must only come from the best Arabica in town.  Your tea must be NO less than Twinnings.  Your furnitures and fixtures at home should be for the long-term no less.  You send your children to the best schools [REGARDLESS if you are struggling to let both ends meet, from a financial perspective].  All these decisions DON'T require you to consider their place in your life because you already set those STANDARDS likely a long time ago✅✅✅

Ooooops, what about your work though?  At WHAT point do you switch from thinking it was a bad day to thinking you were productive?  WHAT amount of work do you expect from yourself each day?  The answers to these questions can be an essential part of planning your day, especially if you work from home OR have the opportunity to determine your hours.  WHEN you know WHAT your end goal is, that leads you to craft your STANDARDS, even evolving it, tweaking it.  So, WHO SETS YOUR STANDARDS IN LIFE.  No one else but YOU, dude❗❗❗

Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?

Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?

There is something prevailing across ages, across cultures which perplexes me no end, Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?  Sounds familiar?  WHEN people often DON'T appreciate things that happen to them all the time.  The more you are familiar with something, the LESS you value it💴💷💵

The easier something comes to you, the higher its chance to be taken for granted.  Maybe that's the reason there's a saying, 'EASY COME, EASY GO'?  When LOVE comes too easy, the LESS you value it.  For people who rarely experience that thing called LOVE, surely they value it MORE.  They would, in fact, crave for those things📗📙📘

Let's do admit that people's values and priorities can [WIDELY] vary and it's NOT uncommon for individuals to form strong emotional connections to people they may NOT know personally such as celebrities OR public figures.  This can be due to admiration for their achievements, talents OR perceived ideals.  However, it's important to note that valuing an UNKNOWN person more than one's family is NOT a universal experience❎❎❎

Since some things can be influenced by individual circumstances and personal relationships and let's be mindful that family dynamics, personal history and individual psychology all play a role in shaping an individual's values and relationships.  BUT again, does that explain as to WHY, generally, we value MORE the UNKNOWNS and value LESS the familiar ones❌❌❌

Oh, I like this quote from an UNKNOWN.  It's like saying let's make ourselves SCARCE?  Ironically, this insight leads us to that path.  BUT here's the reality.  For those who are loved and peacefully settled in 'family setups', lucky enough to experience LOVE to its fullest, take a moment to think about it.  Be grateful because NOT everyone gets to feel WHAT you feel.  Be GRATEFUL because you have a place to come home.  Be GRATEFUL because you get to be vulnerable a a world where you have to pretend everything's fine.  Be GRATEFUL because in a life full of UNCERTAINTY, you have one thing that you are certain about.  Be GRATEFUL because despite your imperfections, someone NOT just accepts you for WHO you are, but showers and pampers you with the LOVE, which sometimes you more than deserve.  LOVE LOVE LOVE💚💛💜

A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win

A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win

Neuro experts are one in saying that our brains are WIRED to respond to rewards.  Celebrating the completion of SMALL accomplishments leads to the completion of BIGGER goals.  And their studies show that people who tracked their SMALL achievements every day enhanced their MOTIVATION.  That simple practice of recording your day-to-day progress helps you to appreciate your SMALL wins which in turn boosts your sense of confidence.  Talking about how  A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win.  Experts say that any accomplishment, even the SMALL ones, releases the neurotransmitter dopamine which boosts your mood, motivation and attention💵💴💷

Now, I could be eating my words because not so long time back, I did highlight that sometimes we have that propensity to celebrate EVEN if it's a premature one and EVEN if it's a SMALL win.  BUT the positive psychology research tells us that celebrating the SMALL wins has more impact than waiting for a BIGGER impact win📗📙📘

WHY?  Because that keeps us engaged and it helps us remember that you're on that path that's proven to be working and that will make you feel good when you get to celebrate even the SMALL wins.  BUT let's admit it, as we work on our GOALS and DREAMS, we mostly FOCUS on making BIG strides.  Getting that BIG CHECK instead of a SMALL CHECK.  Almost every time we only consider BIG things as an achievement and the SMALL things aren't that an achievement.  WHAT can explain that?  Apparently, it's easier to see the progress or see the impact if it's BIG and we tend NOT to notice SMALL waves as often we notice BIG waves on the beach📌📌📌

Now, here's the HARD SELL.  It is important to appreciate the SMALL things and SMALL waves as well because that would allow us to even see life from a different perspective.  We would NOT be overwhelmed.  We would be able to 'BREAK' down BIG tasks and celebrate the SMALL wins.  Taking the time to appreciate the SMALL things is really rare.  NOT everyone focuses pm the SMALL details or SMALL things.  It is also one of the reasons WHY we give up easily on the process.  We forget that we are learning OR progressing throughout the process.  SMALL things are also achievements✅✅✅

Being able to do WHAT we want today is an achievement and NOT everyone has that courage to pursue it. Being able to spend some time with your loved ones on a busy day is an achievement in itself and being able to deliver the deliverables today despite your frenetic overlapping client commitments is a feat that CAN'T just be ignored.  Whatever it is.  No matter how SMALL.  Such SMALL wins are achievements.  And our takeaway today?  It's your call if you want to compartmentalize your SMALL wins or 'club' them together, and I guarantee you, you will see a much BIGGER picture compared to that time when those SMALL wins were compartmentalized.  Hey dude, need any further elbowing that SMALL WINS LEAD TO BIG WINS❗❗❗

Keep COOL When Things Get HOT!

Keep COOL When Things Get HOT!

Easier said than done BUT the reality is, tensions as well as conflicts warm up so damn quickly, much faster than the speed when NASA launches its space ship.  BUT let's put ourselves in real-life situations.  When we disagree on something, it is tough to keep mum and just take a deep breath.  More often, we would react before BUT to Keep COOL When Things Get HOT📗📙📘

Frankly, our emotions can lead us to act in ways we'll regret later.  So, WHAT do we do?  Let us endeavor to create a space between the 'STRESSORS' and your response.  And then, similar to pulling the hand brakes of your car during emergency situations, consider to pause to recognize what your FEELINGS are.  Simply observe your FEELINGS, then take that conscious choice on HOW to channel them💎💎💎

And when EMOTIONS get the better of us, try to speak CALMLY and try to understand the other person's perspectives.  And where there seems to be a 'GREAT DIVIDE' or a gap, find for a 'COMMON GROUND' because that's the modus vivendi that should be 'palatable' to both the protagonists.  As always, CONFLICTS will arise from time to time, so let us reflect on WHAT truly matters.  Show as much respect as you can, just like you want to be treated📌📌📌

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Thing is, there is power and freedom in HOW we govern our EMOTIONS.  Do stay anchored in your values, then take a deep breath.  To sound a bit poetic, 'THE DARK CLOUDS WILL MOVE AWAY AND THE STORM SHALL PASS'❎❎❎

What's our takeaway today?  When faced with a high-stress situation, one that even feels threatening , it can FEEL like we DON'T have control over our response.  Even researches have shown that our bodies can instinctively go into a 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' reaction.  What can we do from our part?  Let us endeavor to self-regulate our reactions.  In the field of neuroscience, it even offers insights into this process of SELF-REGULATION and we can move from the 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' response to a higher state of openess that invites thriving.  So, let's KEEP COOL WHEN THINGS GET HOT❗❗❗

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?  Before we dive into it, let's agree as to what MOTIVATION is.  It is NO less than our drive to achieve our goals OR needs.  BUT it is heavily dependent on the extent of the GOAL you have set and WHAT are your expected GAINS vis-a-vis WHAT are the consequences and ramifications if you fail to achieve.  Let's face it, most people want to change at least one thing in their life.  BUT it can be challenging to find the MOTIVATION just to make a start. It helps if you understand what MOTIVATION means to you so you can find your own ways to get MOTIVATED along the way💴💷💵

So, without pushing hard, just to be aligned, MOTIVATION is important because it provides you with GOALS to work towards, which, along the way, may help solve your problems and even change your OLD habits for you to be able to cope with challenges and opportunities.  SO HOW?  Most people struggle with MOTIVATION but it becomes more challenging if this gets compounded with anxiety or depression📗📙📘

So, HOW do we go from here?  Numero uno, set one GOAL at a time, something that is specific, concrete and achievable.  Thinking about how to include your GOAL in your life, this goes with the question of WHAT you need to do to make it happen.  Putting a timeframe on is a MUST-DO.  Now, here's the tricky part that needs to be simplified.  Break your GOAL into small, easy tasks, preferably in a STEP-BY-STEP approach which you need to stick to📌📌📌

BUT if we perceive ourselves as lacking in MOTIVATION?  If you do, I guess you need to wait until you have that MOTIVATION to accomplish WHAT you want.  DON'T find MOTIVATION in action, it WON'T work.  It only comes from waiting on your bed.  MOTIVATION comes from scrolling through Instagram.  With that kind of habit-formation, sad to say, you are destined NOT to succeed.  And that will become more of a certainty if you persists scrolling and procrastinating.  Just keep doing those same stuff until your enemy becomes much more stronger than you.  Keep doing that UNTIL you would realize that there is NOTHING you can ever achieve in your life.  Now, here's a glimmer of hope in case you're in this dire predicament.  You DON'T need to find MOTIVATION by scrolling through social media [no thanks to your Pre-Paid UNLI subscription]❌❌❌

BTW, you can find MOTIVATION in doing something, even for just a little bit.  HOW?  Start small.  If you're wondering why people say "AIM FOR BIG GOALS, THEN START TAKING SMALL STEPS", it is because NOT all people have that abundant discipline.  NOT all people are born with great skills of commitment and discipline to achieve their GOALS in the first place.  Take action, due so that MOTIVATION is no longer a problem❎❎❎

What Drains You?

What Drains You?

What Drains You?  If you scaled up Mt Everest, that's perfectly fine.  If you went through a harrowing tragedy where fire was ablaze all over your place and you had to lift heavy stuff on your shoulders, that's understandable.  If you got hit with a flat tire and had to change tires under the scorching heat of the sun, that's a given.  BUT if it's because of any of these listed DRAINING HABITS on this poster, poor boy, you must be in the worst shape ever and this kind of 'rock bottom' situation calls for drastic actions that can trigger off a quick turnaround, else things are turning from bad to worse faster than you can cope📗📙📘

On the other hand, WHAT does this empty poster tell us?  Simple.  That we SHOULDN'T waste our energy on petty cum EMPTY things in life.  BTW, we are gifted twenty four hours a day, enough for us to get re-energized for a reasonable eight hours [even if you're living a frenetic-paced of life].  BUT with so many hours per day, you DON'T need to be egged to stop WASTING your time, your ENERGY📌📌📌

BTW, our life is NOT  a gadget with a rechargeable battery pack.  Our life takes more than just recharging because after we drain ourselves, we need a QUALITY way to regain and recharge ourselves.  Sadly, some of us end up so hanged up, sleeping late way beyond what is reasonable, then hitting the sack and lucky enough to catch an 'x' hours of sleep with little OR low quality, and struggling to push oneself to grind come next day❎❎❎

I've seen people up close WHO literally wasted thousands of precious hours in activities that brought them back ZERO RETURNS.  Problem is, WHEN you spend energy, it's just essential that you get back in return that will make you feel to have spent your energy [and time] on something worthwhile.  WHEN we invest ourselves in something, frankly, we spend ENERGY.  It is then up to us to decide if WHAT we get back in return was really worth the ENERGY [and time] spent.  Life ENERGY, whether it's emotional, social, mental, OR physical is what we use to live.  Spending this power and getting back NOTHING IN RETURN [or worse in some cases, LESS THAN NOTHING] leaves us LOST & WASTED✅✅✅

Let's admit it, it's hard to build a better life WHEN you spend your ENERGY [and time] on "ENERGY-sucking" things, name it, a nuisance around the neighborhood, the unhealthy pollution out there, a work colleague whose work attitude is simply detestable BUT it's hitting you hard, a client WHO's been demanding and squeezing more from you despite your ALL-OUT services rendered OR probably just another Tom, Dick or Harry whose personality you just DON'T feel comfy with.  If you see yourself in any of these "ENERGY-sucking" scenarios, back-out and pack-off, pronto❌❌❌