You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED

You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED

In our society, getting BORED is almost always LOOKED DOWN upon as there's always a CONSTANT PUSH to do more, and have more.  So WHAT'S your take on this dude?  The thing is, we are confusing being productive with being reactive.  So many of us fill ever spare moment, whether we're waiting in line for coffee, for the elevator, with a quick email, a tweet OR a 'LIKE'.  Hey, You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED💴💷💵

These two boys seemingly idle at the window, would you agree there is a higher probability that in the midst of that BOREDOM, a very raw [and seemingly silly] idea could pop-up in their minds and voila!  The problem is, we adults [wrongly] think of those spare moments as WASTED TIME and opportunities to respond to family, friends, colleagues, OR just the headlines.  BUT actually, waiting in line and allowing yourself to get BORED ignites a network in your brain called 'THE DEFAULT MODE'.  This is where we can do our most original thinking, problem solving, and future planning📙📗📘

WHY don't we consider to take back those spare moments for deeper thinking about your work and life?  Can we consider to try skipping that EXTRA TWEET or SMS/text message that you WON'T even remember come next day?  BUT most of our iGen/Gen Z and Millennials will all blame technology for their behaviors that become FILLERs to their BOREDOM.  Then BOREDOM dissipates, no thanks to SOCIAL MEDIA💎💎💎

Balancing the PROs and CONs of technology might be our BIG personal and societal issue of our time.  We love being CONNECTED and having access to a global wealth of information BUT yes, many of us are weary of the constant interruptions, news and SOCIAL MEDIA overload, and privacy issues.  So WHAT's our FIX for this dilemma?  Primero, when you go to your apps OR platform, ask yourself whether that tap is just a reflex OR an action that will actually help you at that very moment.  Segundo, encourage yourself and the people around you to get BORED more often✅✅✅

NOT only can it ignite CREATIVITY, BOREDOM can help people be more empathetic and imagine WHAT it's like to be in someone else's shoes.  If we all collectively rethink our digital habits and ignite our DEFAULT MODES more often, maybe some of our best brains can find solutions to our problems.  Our takeaway today:  value that slack time to induce that BOREDOM that will ignite your CREATIVITY❗❗❗

When SAMPLE SIZES Are Not Enough

When SAMPLE SIZES Are Not Enough

Our piece today is NOT on statistics or probabilities [as that's NOT my domain] BUT we'd like to take stock of things when we start counting our SMALL WINS versus When SAMPLE SIZES Are Not Enough.  WHY does the SAMPLE SIZE matter?  Yes dude, much as we want to avoid statistical jargon, truth is a SAMPLING SIZE makes OR unmakes our off-the-cuff analysis OR post-mortem.  In brief, the principles of statistics prevails even in daily life📗📙📘

WHAT IF after I graduated from university, I landed a plum job and I scream that I have a SUCCESSFUL life?  WHAT IF after I settled down and started raising my family, I'll scream that I got a SUCCESSFUL family life?  WHAT IF after I finally opened my personal bank account for the first time and I claim that I am financially stable already❓❓❓

Sun Tzu, the well respected Chinese military general and strategist way back the Eastern Zhou period [from 771 to 256 BC] said:  'VICTORIOUS WARRIORS WIN FIRST AND THEN GO TO WAR, WHILE DEFEATED WARRIORS GO TO WAR FIRST AND THEN SEEK TO WIN'.  BUT the harsh truth is, most people celebrate too early [I committed that Faux Pas in the past]💵💷💶

Let's NOT look farther back.  That Covid-19 pandemic hit us badly for almost three years and when the blinding dusts from the 'sandstorms' stabilized, many of us [TILL TODAY] were [and still are] celebrating because finally the Covid-19 pandemic is behind us.  NOT SO FAST.  Go around countries, starting with China, the Covid-19 infections are coming back❌❌❌

At work, it's true you would have achieved legitimate SUCCESSES but hell, have you etched your name in your organization's portals on the basis of one or two small and minor WINS?  Our takeaway here is that, sustain that winning streak and you're on the way to achieving the coveted laurels of a perennial performer who worked like a 'DAWG' year-round.  Our human failing here is that some of us are NOT aware that SMALL SAMPLE SIZES are NOT enough and sufficient for you to beat your chest.  Got to grind more, dude❎❎❎

DON'T Overplay Your Hand

DON'T Overplay Your Hand

How Often do we Overplay our hand?  I'm sure NOT too often but nevertheless, from time to time, let's admit it that we tend to Overplay our hand and at times, unconsciously.  So you might retort, am I making a mountain out of a molehill?  NO sirrrrs, there is enough mountains all over the landscape caused by us.  This explains why we DON'T Overplay our hand💴💷💵

So, you might wonder under what scenarios do we Overplay our hand?  Let's start with social media, everybody's staple food these days.  HOW much time we spend in social media when we got too much stuff to work on, whether in school, at home, at work OR in our own business?  ISN'T it a no-brainer, many of our SCREEN TIMES are way beyond the roof?  So, we do Overplay our hand📙📗📘

How many times we heard of high-rollers in the casinos end up kaput?  Simple story.  It's because they Overplay their hand.  On to the job hunter, here he comes about to receive a job offer BUT before he signs on the dotted line, he OVERPLAYS HIS HAND and start for asking a salary rate way above his pay grade, whew.  What happens next, that you can guess.  He goes home empty handed.  Heard of someone selling either properties and finally here comes a very serious buyer.  And guess what, the seller UPs the price.  Guess what happened next?  The buyer goes off.  WHY?  Because the seller OVERPLAYED HIS HAND📌📌📌

Over in the labor market, there could be well organized unions like the powerful AFL-CIO in the United States.  And NOT to downplay the labor unions in the U.S., they deftly handle negotiations so well, playing their cards close to their chest.  And while their organized labor will egg them to PLAY THEIR HAND, the negotiators are well cautioned NOT to OVERPLAY THEIR HAND❎❎❎

When we move to NEGOTIATIONS 101, we are well advised to be very sharp in the negotiations to discern when they have the UPPER HAND and even WHEN they should be talking about the celebratory cocktails.  Our takeaway for today.  BE pragmatic.  BE realistic.  BE reasonable.  BE in control.  HOW?  DON'T OVERPLAY YOUR HAND❌❌❌

Your Face DOESN'T Make You Beautiful

Your Face DOESN'T Make You Beautiful

There's this overly over-used one-liner which says:  THE SHINY GLORY FACE DEFINES BEAUTY AND THE OLD WRINKLED FACE IS NOT CONSIDERED BEAUTIFUL'.  Of course, except for a misguided few, surely most of us will NOT buy that one-liner, right?  Your Face DOESN'T Make You Beautiful.  Exactly, that's what is being popularly peddled across, regardless of culture, standing in social strata or even gender.  Since ancient times, we have been considering beauty to behold by, fair skin, fit body, and those WHO DON'T have this is mocked up in society by body shaming and telling to use creams to increase their tone.  Baloney💴💷💵

The more we hear like, GO TO the gym, and workout and lose fatty layers, and to thin to eat more food to add more fat to the body because their eyes DON'T find it attractive.  The children's book differentiates between beautiful and ugly based on color, age.  Even the children's brains are like mud, we give it shape to make it beautiful structures.  So, if it is rather told that GOOD deeds and GOOD heart are beautiful, NO age, NO colors, and NO shapes have the power to degrade it📙📗📘

Reality is, beauty is PURE just like a beauty in the HEART.  Beauty is one which does NOT go by ages nor by skin color and neither by the body.  It is always within the HEART, that feeling of humanity is WHAT is beautiful.  The old people are told to go to a religious place and chant the mantras as they are on the door of death , to eat food which is NOT full of spiciness.  Wear light colors because the color of their life is even fading📌📌📌

BUT the death is NOT localized to old people since death can come to anyone anywhere.  So, let's NOT define beauty by white shiny hairs and wrinkled faces OR by skin color BUT rather the purity of the HEART.  This will bring HAPPINESS in the world if one understands the meaning of being beautiful.  NO one will be disheartened OR broken.  Moreover, they will love themselves and will give back the same love and respect.  As the old cliche goes, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, so let's behold the beauty by the feelings and spread immense HAPPINESS and LOVE❎❎❎

So what's our takeaway today?  It is that people tend to fall for beauty and face in seconds.  People DON'T judge others when they are beautiful by face and NOT by heart.  And we follow that definition of beauty defined by people and NEVER get to know what real beauty is.  BUT when you fall for someone's heart, they DON'T judge you BUT instead, they will try to understand you.  And let's face it, there's a very thin line between love and attraction.  When you love someone, you DON'T try to force it.  You try to understand instead.  NOT to downplay the importance of beautiful faces but let us NOT pish into oblivion the beautiful heart from within❗❗❗

Finding Comfort In Darkness

Finding Comfort In Darkness

For some of us, that which traditionally causes comfort leaves us feeling anxious rather than calmed.  YET, some kinds of darker experiences create feelings inside that are deeply comforting to those WHO simply cannot accept comfort in the more widely accepted traditional ways.  Oh, our brains have etched in processing grooves from a past which could be full of long stretches of emotional pain and discomfort, to the point WHERE those places of DARKNESS are WHAT feels like our baseline.  Call it Finding Comfort In Darkness💴💷💵

WHEN our life gets twisted and sometimes painful for long periods of time, your soul hurts and lingers in the past, leaving it feeling strangely compelling to stay hidden in the DARK places.  Some people cannot accept JOY and KINDNESS at all from others, because it CANNOT be accepted into their DARKENED soul.  It feels alien and jarring.  We do try and it's often a source of pain and distress for partners and friends WHO try to show the love and comfort BUT who fail to hit the right ways as our receptors are wired upside down compared to their own.  And while many of us with painful pasts can accept some level of joy and light into our lives, many of us also seek out the DARKER sides to the world around us📗📙📘

DARK films, DARK humor, DARK imagery, and DARK clothes feel familiar to be around and therefore comfortable to those WHO grew up in a wilderness of abuse OR neglect.  We seek out the DARK because it's the only thing that creates a space that feels safe around us.  The light carries NO intrinsic balm to our soul, BUT the DARKNESS feels like a warm cosy blanket wrapped around us☺☺☺

Goths and vampires, skulls and bones, lovecraft, they all pull us in, those that were forged in fire and ashes.  They speak to something twisted inside and create a sense that we are NOT alone in our FORTRESS of SOLITUDE.  When we finally find a passage out of the danger, a way to let go of our trauma, do we shy away from DARKNESS❓❓❓

The DARKNESS, the controlled fright, the playful ways we can take control of the DARK.  Illusion OR not, it feels like 'normal' to me.  ISN'T all magic made of shadows, light, reflects, and distractions?  Perhaps it's a kind of magic, this perverse translation of DARK to light.  Our takeaway?  Even if the DARK is our home, it could be a place where sorrow can be refined into hope, madness into genius, and trauma unleashed into memories.  This is all about FINDING COMFORT IN DARKNESS💚💛💜

Are You Sure That PROBLEM Is The PROBLEM?

Are You Sure That PROBLEM Is The PROBLEM?

There's this interesting quote from Albert Einstein:  IF I WERE GIVEN ONE HOUR TO SAVE THIS PLANET, I WOULD SPEND 59 MINUTES DEFINING THE PROBLEM AND ONE MINUTE RESOLVING IT.  Well said.  We all have PROBLEMS and those PROBLEMS make us feel bad.  So, to make the BAD feelings go away, we have to channel all our efforts into solving our PROBLEMS.  Are You Sure That PROBLEM Is The PROBLEM???

Now, let's refocus with REALITY, with WHAT'S happening on the ground.  If focusing on your PROBLEMS and trying to tackle them head-on with all the effort you can muster works, WHY do you still have so many PROBLEMS?  If the common way of solving PROBLEMS is so effective, WHY are our lives a string of PROBLEMS, one seamlessly flowing into the next one like abacus beads❓❓❓

Part of the issue is that we consciously OR subconsciously believe that life is a combination of EFFORT + STRUGGLES, that nothing comes without HARD WORK, and that putting your nose to the grindstone is the ONLY WAY things can change.  And I think that is a very sad and depressing approach to LIFE and I'm going to make a case for another approach.  So, WHY is it the COMMON PROBLEM-SOLVING APPROACH doesn't work?  Now, imagine you have money problems now.  Perhaps you DON'T even need to imagine it because you actually have them right now, right❔❔❔

Most of us have OR had that issue.  So we all know HOW shitty this feels.  Anxiety, worry, and stress are all UNPLEASANT side effects of having a money PROBLEM.  NOW, to solve this issue, naturally, we do the ONLY thing that we've been taught to do WHEN it comes to solving PROBLEMS.  Focusing our attention on it and trying to figure a solution out😇😇😇

BUT there are two issues with this problem-solving approach namely:

• ANXIETY, WORRY, and STRESS get intensified
• RARELY do we find a satisfying solution

These two outcomes make sense IF we look at WHAT the focus-on-the-problem approach actually does.  Because a lack of money is emotionally associated with anxiety, worry and stress, the more we FOCUS on it, the BIGGER these emotions become our very own experience.  These negative emotions are the felt sense of our PROBLEM state.  We DON'T like this state.  So, now we want to move from the PROBLEM state to the SOLUTION state.  BUT because our whole system is in the PROBLEM STATE, we CAN'T get to the solution.   So, ARE YOU SURE THAT PROBLEM IS THE PROBLEM???

That ART of LETTING GO

That ART of LETTING GO

I heard this one-liner gazillion times:  YOU DON'T GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.  And I admit I live by that saying.  It makes so much sense  that IF you love someone, you DON'T give up on them.  You keep trying, you keep putting yourself on the line because GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION.  Now experts say that is wrong, incorrect and hurtful.  So, how's That ART of LETTING GO📗📙📘

Now, experts are telling us that you CAN'T hold unto people, long after they've let you go OR in fact ever.  You have to GIVE UP on them at some point because if you DON'T, you're just creating this magnanimous God-like image of yourself in your head [which becomes toxic].  So I thought hey, I love this person, so I got to keep fighting.  BUT the only person you could be hurting in this process is yourself.  The person you love and are, apparently, are NOT giving up on has GIVEN UP on you and left you long before you even knew it, while you stand there, hurting yourself and pushing yourself, over and over again, just because you them and NOT yourself❓❓❓

Is that healthy enough?  The person that you have to continue choosing OVER and OVER again is yourself.  It DOESN'T have to be your parents, your partner/spouse, your siblings, your bff, OR anyone for that matter. i admit that in the past, I did struggle with putting myself first for the longest time.  At first go, I might come across as someone who's rather selfish and DOESN'T believe in giving anyone a piece of their heart.  BUT, I actually just put everyone on the pedestal and myself way below.  Back then, I acted mostly out of impulse.  As a result, I kept living in the scenarios inside my head, rather than the real ones💎💎💎

I DON'T think anyone knows how to completely let go OR not fall back from time to time if they do, BUT there are definitely ways to make it easier for you to let go WHEN you relentlessly DON'T want to let go.  So WHAT's our FIX?  ACCEPTANCE is the first step in doing anything.  Living IN DENIAL will hurt you more than anything and NOT accepting your emotions is harming yourself in ways you just CAN'T decipher❎❎❎

There's this proverb which caught my attention sometime back:  'WHAT IS DESTINED WILL REACH YOU, EVEN IF IT BE UNDERNEATH TWO MOUNTAINS.  WHAT IS NOT DESTINED WILL NOT REACH YOU, EVEN IF IT BE BETWEEN YOUR TWO LIPS'.  In a nutshell, let us LIVE OUR LIFE the way you did, with OR without the person/thing.  Wake up, workout, run, eat healthy, work harder and LIVE while accepting the fact what you LET GO, is gone.  Practicing the ART OF LETTING GO😔😔😔

Late Lessons In Life

Late Lessons In Life

LIFE is an endless movement of lessons where some people learn easily, and some are struck with the painful pangs of experience.  Because we go through time, we come across facts that modify our viewpoints, providing major insights into the delicate dance of our existence.  BUT how about our Late Lessons In Life💵💴💷

Because we go through time, we come across facts that modify our viewpoints, providing major insights into the delicate dance of our existence.  These principles, which are frequently drawn from times of joy, sadness, success OR failure, serve as guiding lights, lighting the route ahead.  BUT such is LIFE, a journey of twists and turns, peaks and valleys, mountains to climb and oceans to explore📗📙📘

GOOD times and BAD times.  HAPPY times and SAD times.  BUT again, LIFE is indeed a movement forward. NO matter where you are on the journey, in some way, you are continuing on and THAT's what makes it so magnificent.  One day, you're questioning WHAT on Earth will ever make you feel HAPPY and fulfilled.  And the next, you're perfectly in flow.  WHAT nobody ever tells you, though, when you are a wide-eyed child, are all the little things that come along with 'growing up'💎💎💎

You might be in for a shocking surprise if we rattle off some of the lessons we normally learn LATE in our LIFE.  WHEN most people are scared of using their imagination.  Like they've disconnected with their 'inner child'.  They DON'T feel they are 'CREATIVE'.  And they just seem to like things 'just the way they are'.  WHEN your dream DOESN'T really matter to anyone else.  Some people might take interest .  Some may support you in your quest.  BUT at the end of the day, NOBODY CARES or will ever care about your DREAM as much as you✅✅✅

WHEN friends are 'RELATIVE' to where you are in your LIFE.  Most FRIENDS only stay for a period of time, usually in reference to your current interest.  BUT when you move on, OR your priorities change, so too do the majority of your FRIENDS.  WHEN your potential increases with age, have you heard that yet?  As people get older, they tend to think that they can do LESS and LESS.  BUT in reality, they should be able to do MORE and MORE because they have time to SOAK up more knowledge.  Being great at something is a daily habit.  You AREN'T just 'born that way'.  Let's LEARN LESSONS IN LIFE [before it gets too late], dude❗❗❗

Just Go On, No One Cares WHAT YOU DO

Just Go On, No One Cares WHAT YOU DO

Early in my career, the FEAR of FAILURE drove most of my decisions.  HOW would I look?  WHAT would people think?  In short, I lived in a constant state of anxiety, being 'hostaged' by the supposed judgments of others.  WOULD I ever get a second chance if I failed?  And IF I did fail, HOW could I pass the blame to someone else?  If NOT, could I blame circumstance?  CAN'T we Just Go On, No One Cares WHAT YOU DO🎈🎈🎈

This thinking led me to make consistently poor decisions about HOW I lived, WHAT got my focus, and WHERE my emotional energy was expended.  My rule then [which I thought was the right one] was:  As long as it 'looked good', then DO IT, because at that time, I [wrongly] thought that I was perceived really mattered most.  I would be in the middle of the 'rat race' from one meeting to another, from one client from Singapore's East Coast to West Coast📌📌📌

After all these frenetic schedules, I DIDN'T realize that I was as busy as hell and in the end, I accomplished NOTHING.  In fact, it seemed worse than NOTHING.  If I failed to secure a client signoff, all my efforts seemingly went down the drain.  If our RFP was not favorably considered by our client, that means, I failed in that pursuit for that client💴💷💵

After my umpteenth failure, an incredible realization washed over me and that NO ONE CARED.  NO one remembered my mistakes either.  Here and there, people would have faint memories BUT they quickly faded.  WHO would like to etch on stone one news in the past that my prospective client didn't act favorably on my RFP?  But realizing that people's memories easily faded, I felt I regained being FREE.  FREE to try hard.  FREE to fail.  FREE to learn from my mistakes.  Suddenly, I felt I could be reincarnated with each new endeavor📗📙📘

Soon after, my logic drove me into a ditch.  If NO one cared, did I matter?  I had always lived for others.  to make others like me, to impress them, to be heralded.  I couldn't figure out WHY I was NEVER satisfied regardless of the awards, congrats or our corporate banking won deals.  It made me realize that TRUE SUCCESS must be defined.  That I'll JUST GO ON, NO ONE CARES WHAT I DO✅✅✅

Been Chasing Things That Make You HAPPY?

Been Chasing Things That Make You HAPPY?

Been Chasing Things That Make You HAPPY?  Isn't this a confusing topic for our thread today?  It used to be, life seemed much simpler when we were kids.  There were much less things to worry about, and more things that could make us truly HAPPY.  It was amazing how some simple things used to put a BIG SMILE on our face.  I vividly remember how happy I was when I got my first toy car, albeit a manually pushed miniature-sized one💵💴💷

The thing is, as we grow older and our world gets bigger and we gain new experiences, we get overwhelmed and see happiness as something that is hard to achieve and fail to see it's been there all along.  WHY it it so much harder to be HAPPY when you get older?  Oh well, WHEN we were kids, we were so completely focused on ourselves, everything we did, we did to make us feel good📗📙📘

Reality is, as adults, we let society define the notion of HAPPINESS [BUT where are we in that story?].  We need to look for HAPPINESS inside and stop doing things that AREN'T helping us at all.  So, what are our FIXES?  Primero, STOP IGNORING your own needs.  Trying to please everybody is a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.  You will never be able to do that.  The harsh and hard truth is that NOBODY else will take care of you except YOU.  And the sooner you realize this, you'll be better off then📌📌📌

What we need to realize is that everyone is different and nobody knows better than YOU what you really want and need.  Do sit down and take a moment to think about your desires. TUNE OUT 'outside voices' and follow your emotions and they will tell you WHAT you need.  It DOESN'T make sense you take care of other people's needs BUT who's taking care of YOU❓❓❓

WHAT else?  STOP comparing yourself to others.  There are NO two same people, NOT even Siamese twins.  And that is a wonderful thing.  Being unique as we are, there's NO point in comparing ourselves to other people.  We just end up being miserable and envious of the things we DON'T have.  We have faith in our life journey and that everything we want will find its way to us at the right moment.  That should STOP you from CHASING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY✅✅✅