How THANK YOU Matters

How THANK YOU Matters

HOW THANK YOU MATTERS will keep us tied up the next 5 minutes or so BUT I hope that's the best utilized 5 minutes ever for us.  Oh, we were all taught to be courteous and say THANK YOU so, from our childhood all the way to our adulthood, saying THANK YOU was part and parcel of our demeanor, habits and character all rolled into one. Not so fast though📌📌📌

Ironically, I'm starting to believe that THANK YOU is the most under-appreciated and under-used phrase in our life.  Yes it is appropriate in nearly any situation and it is a better response than most of the things we say.  Let's look back at the more common situations  when we say all sorts of things BUT should say THANK YOU📗📙📘

Do we hear someone complimenting your attire and you retort, 'OH THIS IS ONE OF MY OLD STUFF IN MY CLOSET' instead of reacting like 'THANK YOU I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT'.  OR when you played the best basketball and someone says "WOW YOUR 20 POINTS IS THE BEST' and you retort 'BUT I MISSED THAT 3-POINT SHOT' but there is something empowering about fully accepting a compliment.  WHEN you deflect praise, you CAN'T really own it.  And you just say THANK YOU, you let the weight of the compliment sink in and become yours💎💎💎

In fact, saying THANK YOU gives your mind permission to be built up by the compliments you receive.  Getting compliments should be fun and enjoyable BUT we often ruin that rare of an experience.  It's just really needless to sabotage compliments that come your way.  Accept them with grace and enjoy the moment of course✅✅✅

Now, how many times did we arrive late in an event or engagement?  BTW, being late is the worst thing to happen.  It's more stressful for the person WHO is running late and it's more disrespectful to the person WHO is waiting.  It might seem strange to THANK someone for dealing with your hassle, right?  BUT that's exactly the correct response.  Most people stumble in the door and say "SORRY I'M LATE".  Problem with that response is that it makes the situation 'ABOUT YOU'.  Saying THANK YOU turns the tables around and acknowledges the sacrifice the other person made for waiting❌❌❌

Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Mind

Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Mind

How are we going along during all our hours we're awake?  Very likely, almost everyone is either engaged on his tasks and/or activities and only a slim number will admit they are idle and that even their minds are that idle.  This is where we need to have a much deeper appreciation of Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Minds⚓⚓⚓

As per all these collaterals, our CONSCIOUS MIND can be said to be everything which we are currently aware of.  WHEREAS the UNCONSCIOUS MIND is everything that makes us WHO we are that we are NOT aware of.  And this could include such things as our memory BUT it could also extend to our awareness of our physical self.  A common way of explaining the relationship between our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds is the metaphor of the iceberg wherein where you see the tip of the iceberg, you're seeing only 10% of what is there.  The rest is below the surface📌📌📌

Our memory is a good example of both the CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds.  A memory is stored in our 'LONG TERM' memory [UNCONSCIOUS] but it can be transferred into our awareness and thus become the CONSCIOUS mind.  Now what sense is this thread bringing to us now?  C'mon dude, UNCONSCIOUS assumptions can affect the way we do things💎💎💎

Now, have we sometimes experienced in the past wherein something may look familiar from when you have had the feeling that you know something BUT are not quite there yet.  That feeling usually indicates that something is in the preconscious and can be brought to conscious awareness, often by ignoring it and allowing the process of transfer to occur naturally❗❗❗

Our takeaway for these considerations between our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds is that we need to be cautious and mindful that some of our actions [and especially reactions] are directly influenced by both our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds.  The pitfall lies there when the assumptions [from our UNCONSCIOUS mind] is quite unfounded because that goes from a wrong assumption to a wrong action or reaction.  In brief, before taking an action or reaction, be cautious if wrong assumptions come into play❎❎❎

Should We Be More CURIOUS?

Should We Be More CURIOUS?

Should We Be More CURIOUS?  Too bad the old school taught us that CURIOSITY is for the kids, the non-adults.  BUT numerous studies have shown that the BENEFITS of CURIOSITY cuts across both children and adults alike with the benefits linked with psychological, social, emotional and even health benefits.  BUT in the past, we were [wrongly] told that the benefits of CURIOSITY is limited to the intellectual side📶📶📶

Surprisingly, the results of studies listed benefits that DIDN'T require huge efforts to be exerted.  LIKE CURIOSITY helps us survive.  THAT urge to explore helps us remain vigilant and gain knowledge about our constantly changing environment.  LIKE CURIOSITY makes people are happier.  Researches have shown that CURIOSITY has always been associated with HIGHER levels of positive emotions, LOWER levels of anxiety, MORE satisfaction with life and greater psychological well-being🔍🔍🔍

LIKE CURIOSITY boosts achievements.  Studies reveal that CURIOSITY leads to more enjoyment and participation in school and higher academic achievement as well as greater learning, engagement, and even performance at work.  It may seem like common sense, BUT when we are more CURIOUS, it is easier to get involved, to put effort in💊💊💊

LIKE CURIOSITY can expand our empathy.  When we are CURIOUS about others and talk to people outside our usual social circle, we become better able to understand those with lives, experiences, and worldviews different than our own.  LIKE CURIOSITY helps strengthen relationships.  There was one study which asked strangers to pose and answer personal questions and they found out that people were warmer if they showed CURIOSITY📌📌📌

LIKE CURIOSITY improves healthcare.  Research suggests that when doctors are genuinely CURIOUS about their patients' perspectives, both doctors and patients report LESS anger and frustration and instead, make BETTER decisions, ultimately increasing the effectiveness of a medical treatment.  Indeed, there are one too many INTANGIBLE benefits that should be more than enough reason for us all to be constantly MORE CURIOUS than ever✅✅✅

Quit While You're Ahead

Quit While You're Ahead

Have you ever achieved a PERSONAL BEST and then relaxed a bit afterwards, nit pushing yourself?  If so, WHAT are the implications of such behavior on your future performance?  Let's listen around and with the best intentions, we would hear:  i WANT TO BE A BETTER RUNNER.  I WANT TO BE A BETTER BIKER.  I WANT TO BE A BETTER STUDENT.  Good enough, there are quantitative performance measures that will tell us HOW good are we at something.  These quantitative ratings help us think about HOW to develop things like goals to push us to become better, to improve ourselves.  BUT let us NOT get lost with this reminder that where possible, Quit While You're Ahead💴💷💵

BUT here's the 'BIG BUT'.  It's really a tricky process to figure out what the right GOAL is to set for yourself.  GOALS are the double-edged sword.  They're double-edged in the sense that they can be motivating.  If you're just short of a GOAL, you're going to put in some effort to surpass it.  BUT once you surpass it, it becomes demotivating, so you tend to take your foot off the gas pedal.  So that's the bind.  Question is, how can we hurdle that?  So what's our take?  Consider CALIBRATED GOALS along the way📗📙📘

If a personal-best GOAL seems too easy, you're going to surpass it quickly.  It will be RESET.  If it's too difficult, well, it's never really too difficult in the sense that you've achieved it before, so it's definitely within the realm of possibility.  And so, WHAT we do is we show that this operates as a GOAL in the manner that it's motivating WHEN you're just short of it and demotivating WHEN you just pass it💎💎💎

There have been many common stories when somebody is trying to reach a personal GOAL, there's that level of COMPETITION from people WHO want to succeed.  So, if somebody has reached the GOAL and they take a break, do they lose that level of COMPETITION?  That's the thing because by the time one reaches that level, one tends to be excited and one may NOT want to taper off, so the tendency is to STOP!@#$%?

One thing concluded by various studies is that people have surmised that maybe is the wrong thing to do considering you're at your BEST level [when you quit].  BUT this is when one should be playing, that kind of counter-intuitive attitude.  What perplexes me are some of the SUCCESS STORIES who kept pursuing their personal best even after they've gotten there.  Point is, much as we DON'T want to lose that competitive nature, weigh things if QUITTING WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD is an option✅✅✅

Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?

 Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?

Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?  To quote American author John Maxwell: 'YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU CHANGE SOMETHING YOU DO DAILY'.  The very enticing thing about MICRO HABITS is that most, in fact all of them, entail small efforts but the results could be HUGE or GREAT.  That's the thing about MICRO HABITS, they seem insignificant on their own BUT they can drive a huge difference in our lives.  Plus, MICRO HABITs require very little commitment to breaking a BAD HABIT and becoming a powerful tool for starting NEW HABITs💴💷💵

Thing is, we CAN'T rely on WILLPOWER alone to get us through procrastination and help us achieve great things in life.  WILLPOWER is finite, and it fades AS NIGHT FALLS.  So, in order to achieve great things in life, we must establish systems and HABITS that support our journey toward meaningful GOALS.  So, let's go to rattle off the MICRO HABITS that are now our LOW-HANGING FRUITS📗📙📘

Primero, WRITE DOWN YOUR IDEAS, no matter how they seem so minor or petty.  One issue with ideas is that relying on our [limited] memory to recall them will likely fail us.  Through the years, I did develop this MICRO HABIT to write down an idea that pops-up.  The past years when we got locked out by that pandemic, I leveraged on my iPhone notepad💎💎💎

Segundo, TAKE A PAUSE BEFORE YOU RESPOND.  This happens to everyone of us. WHEN we are in the middle of a heated argument [with emotions sometimes mixing it up], easily we will get get carried away by our emotions and even behave in ways that we will later regret.  So, before answering or reacting, PAUSE or if possible, remove yourself from that 'heated' situation❎❎❎

All along, we have been harping GOALS GOALS GOALS but come to think of it, hands down, even MICRO HABITS will easily beat GOALS.  Tercero, READ something everyday.  In this information age where our BRAINS are burned with cheap DOPAMINE from short videos and other forms of content that are robbing us of our FOCUS on a SINGLE-ACTIVITY, reading is both beneficial for our mind.  Yes dude, even MICRO HABITS are relevant❗❗❗

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCIPLINE Go?

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCIPLINE Go?

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCPLINE Go?  Oh well, SELF-DISCIPLINE is more about HABITS than genetics.  And for people who are fully aware of their SELF-DISCIPLINE issues, studies show that most of them are into that problem NOT for the lack of desire or motivation. The reason we do struggle to be more DISCIPLINED isn't a moral failing or faulty genes.  Instead, it is our BAD HABITS that seem to interfere with our natural ability to be DISCIPLINED💴💷💵

So, if we want to be more SELF-DISCIPLINED, we need to learn to identify the GOOD habits.  And as studies show, SELF-DISCIPLINE won't be far behind.  HOW?  Primero.  RELY ON YOU WILLPOWER.  People with rock solid SELF-DISCIPLINE understand that WILLPOWER is the very last resort.  The analogy here is the car's emergency brake.  That is NOT a must-have.  In fact it is NICE TO HAVE but if we are in serious trouble, that's your lifeline📗📙📘

Word of caution though.  WILLPOWER should NEVER be our primary strategy for accomplishing difficult things.  SELF-DISCPLINED people understand that there are far more effective strategies for staying committed to challenging GOALS and TASKS.  The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius was widely quoted YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOUR MIND, NOT OUTSIDE EVENTS.  REALIZE THIS, AND YOU WILL FIND STRENGTH.  And Plato, the ancient Greek philosopher said: THE FIRST AND BEST VICTORY IS TO CONQUER SELF💎💎💎

Sometimes [and probably MANY TIMES], emotions will come into play.  Because more often, managing [a.k.a. CONTROLLING] our emotions is much tougher.  BUT learning to effectively lead oneself [and even others] will all come down to DISCIPLINE.  Happiness, success and fulfillment stem from FOCUS and SELF-CONTROL✅✅✅

It may be hard to believe WHEN we're facing an EAT-ALL-U-CAN buffet, that prospect of making a quick buck or the lazy lure of sleeping versus grinding [and kicking your butt out hard enough].  Our takeaway here is that, if you want to take CONTROL of your habits and choices to lead you towards a firmer SELF-DISCIPINE, as the Nike advert goes, JUST DO IT❗❗❗

Heard of COGNITIVE RESERVE?

Heard of COGNITIVE RESERVE?

Heard of COGNITIVE RESERVE? Nope, not until I stumbled across that piece from Harvard Medical wherein their researchers described individuals with no apparent symptoms of dementia WHO nonetheless were found at autopsy to have brain changes consistent with Alzheimer's disease BUT their question is WHY they did NOT show symptoms of the disease while they were alive because they had a large COGNITIVE RESERVE to offset the damage to their brain💴💷💵

As I am NOT even a novice in the medical field, in layman's terms, COGNITIVE RESERVE is defined as our brain's ability to improvise and find alternative ways of getting a job done.  So, this puts emphasis in the ability of our brain to be AGILE to solve problems and cope with challenges.  So how is COGNITIVE RESERVE developed?  As per Harvard Medical, it is developed by a lifetime of EDUCATION + CURIOSITY📗📘📙

Harvard Medical highlights that our brain health involves lifestyle changes based on these cornerstones:

• EAT PLANT-BASED DIET
• EXERCISE REGULARLY
• GET ENOUGH SLEEP
• MANAGE YOUR STRESS
• NURTURE SOCIAL CONTACTS
• CONSTANTLY CHALLENGE YOUR BRAIN

Mayo Clinic, one of the biggest U.S. medical providers highlights that in addition to protecting our heart and staying physically fit, there's another factor that may play an important role in preserving our BRAIN health and that involves the concept of COGNITIVE RESERVE💎💎💎

Mayo Clinic researches found that ordinary yet intellectually stimulating activities such as using a computer, playing games, reading books and engaging in crafts, were associated with a 30 to 50 percent decrease in the chances of developing mild COGNITIVE impairment as we age❗❗❗

As with physical exercise, the Mayo Clinic study showed that some activities seem to provide more of a COGNITIVE workout than others.  Example, they found that reading newspapers had LESS EFFECT than reading books.  And watching less TV was more favorable for COGNITIVE health than watching more TV.  This should serve as an inspiration for us to sit down with a good book rather than watching more TV.  Other studies have mentioned taking courses, learning new languages, travelling, to name a few.  So, our takeaway today is that COGNITIVE RESERVE is very much in our hands✅✅✅

Does BODY LANGUAGE Matter?

Does BODY LANGUAGE Matter?

Does BODY LANGUAGE Matter?  Yes dude, absolutely.  As we DON'T just communicate with words, we also communicate with HOW we hold ourselves, our facial expressions, our hand gestures  and more.  In fact, there are times when we are oblivious that we are, in fact, communicating via our body language even if keep mum💴💷💵

Now for the sad part.  Still, many people DON'T always verbally communicate WHAT they mean.  And no, this DOESN'T necessarily mean they are lying.  In reality, it might just mean they AREN'T the best at verbal communications [BTW, none of us is perfect!].  The question I received once before was, IS THERE A WORKAROUND for this disconnect?  Yes there are workaround but NOT to forget, we can only CONTROL what we can📗📙📘

So, this tells us that learning the different types of NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS can take us far and help us avoid or deter miscommunications OR misinterpretations in our interactions.  Interestingly, BODY LANGUAGE varies from culture to culture.  When I lived in India for eleven months, I made sure I was familiar enough as I DON'T want to cause a disconnect💎💎💎

When talking about reading BODY LANGUAGE, psychology is probably the first thing that pops into our minds.  NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION gives us clues into a person's psychology and WHAT they are truly thinking, no matter WHAT they might be VERBALLY communicating.    Now, there will be times we get 'MIXED SIGNALS'✅✅✅

So, how do we handle if we get those 'MIXED SIGNALS'?  No harm to ask someone WHAT they are thinking.  Straight and direct is definitely the way to go over making assumptions that could result in a disagreement, or worse, confusion.  So, yes, BODY LANGUAGE matters till today❗❗❗

Do We Need WILLPOWER?

Do We Need WILLPOWER?

They say that all the Gen Z's are looking for WILLPOWER day and night.  They will eat junk food for the whole day.  YET they look for WILLPOWER.  They will NOT prioritize WHAT's truly important BUT they will look for WILLPOWER.  Pardon my words but some might just make 'stupid' choices BUT they will still look for WILLPOWER. DO WE NEED WILLPOWER💴💷💵

Truthfully, WILLPOWER is the hardest path in today's crazy rough and tumble world.  You DON'T even need it.  It's just unnecessary.  Which reminds me of that RABBIT & TORTOISE story.  The rabbit DIDN'T prioritize strategy and slept a LOT.  So much so that it just forgot that things were NO more in its control.  Life is just like that.  Fine, I get it.  You crave for junk food a lot.  Just DON'T keep any junk in your home.  Then your craving will just vanish💎💎💎

Studies showed that environment outperforms WILLPOWER.  Frankly, we are advised to chase the REAL DOPAMINE.  Name it.  Sunlight.  Healthy food.  Workout.  Talking to people in person.  Studies show that they are our REAL DOPAMINE buddies because they will boost us up for the whole day.  Like if you just workout for an hour in the morning, you WON'T give a damn how you FEEL💎💎💎

Me thinks it's tough to shoot down the results of those studies on WILLPOWER because it proved that the boost in one's body is REAL.  Lying on the couch is NOT real.  It would make us an addict to DOPAMINE that turns our energy levels down, until you DON'T feel going to work❗❗❗

Let's take INSTAGRAM as an example.  You launch the app, scroll down, then things continue that way for an hour.  So you think you scrolled for an hour?  NO sirrrrs.  INSTAGRAM made you do that.  It took all your data from your behavior and made you their SLAVE.  What's our takeaway?  Studies show that WILLPOWER rarely works in today's world.  So, you just need to go for your REAL DOPAMINE buddies✅✅✅

Jealousy, Anyone?

Jealousy, Anyone?

Jealousy, Anyone? WHO has not been JEALOUS in his/her life?  Absolutely NO ONE, because we're all just humans. JEALOUSY will make us feel all kinds of things, name it.  It will make us feel as if NOTHING is going right in our life and that everyone around you is somehow much better and more capable than you.  JEALOUSY remains an essential feeling that we encounter sometimes in our lives💴💷💵

While for some the emotion surfaces a bit too easily, there are others WHO fail to feel JEALOUS, no matter how hard you try.  And sometimes we'll be wondering HOW can one NOT feel JEALOUS ever, right?  It's true.  Once you have complete FAITH IN YOURSELF, feeling JEALOUS won't be a common occurrence📗📙📘

Realizing your self-worth is necessary OR you'll be drawn to bigger chunks of NEGATIVITY gripping your life.  People WHO get JEALOUS easily, face situational problems like inability to deal with difficult circumstances in a calm manner, killing the motivational drive and many more harmful impacts.  JEALOUSY makes you feel like giving up in times WHEN and WHERE it is necessary to SUCCEED💎💎💎

It then makes you feel LESS OF A PERSON than you actually are.  Your mind begins to critically analyze everything in a VERY negative sense.  You begin doubting the actions of people around you and critic every response OR action of theirs.  From our childhood, we were taught to TRUST and LOVE people around us.  WHEREAS the actions of JEALOUS people are extremely contrary to WHAT we were taught❎❎❎

Our takeaway here is that we should always be happy with WHAT we have been blessed with, and work hard to achieve our GOALS and ambitions.  JEALOUS people tend to undermine themselves and constantly compare themselves to others.  Oh Oh, that feeling itself will destroy one's faith in themselves.  Worse, it will slowly diminish your relationship[s] and friendship[s].  Do change overnight and DUMP JEALOUSY out the window, please❗❗❗