Why Things Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Why Things Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Yes indeed, this is one of the perplexing things in life.  While we all wish, dream and pray that things will go from good to better to best, in most cases, it doesn't happen that way.  Be it during your school days, at your workplace, in your family and domestic life and even over to your entrepreneurships.  Indeed, Why is it that things need to go worse before it gets better [if at all]?  Indeed, that's one of the mysteries in life that remains unsolved till even as we speak now.

Indeed, there is one principle in our life that is very essential to recognize early on because no one is immune from this syndrome.  Otherwise, not understanding and accepting this harsh reality in life has the potential to forestall things, when and if it gets misinterpreted.  And truth of the matter is: Things USUALLY get worse before it can even get better.

Whenever you set an intention and actively sork towards a goal, there tends to be a general worsening of the situation at the onset.  This can come in the form of an inner resistance or reaction, but surprisingly even in the form of external events.  You set off to a new endeavor and ironically stuff starts breaking, hiccups happen, money is lost, accidents get in the way.  

But this gets even more obvious when you set an internal goal, maybe you work to get a calmer mind and it gets even more agitated, or you take a course to improve your life and get only more frustration out of it.  That explains Why Things Get Worse Before It Gets Better.  And this is akin to medicines.  Occasionally, medicine may worsen the symptoms at the initial stage before the disease is eventually cured.  It's like bringing all the symptoms to the surface, allowing their full manifestation before they plateau and finally leave the body.

This principle is particularly obvious with inner work and any form of shadow work.  Whatever is supposed to leave your mind and body, first needs to fully come to the surface of consciousness.  This explains why healing past traumas can be so painful.  Because the trauma needs to be fully relived and reinterpreted consciously while the natural tendency of the mind is to push it down to the subconscious layers where it can cause less hurt.  This same phenomenon is observable in any area of personal growth where you keep trying to build self-confidence.  This explains as to Why Things Get Worse Before It Gets Better✅✅✅

Why Wait for the 'LAST STRAW'?

Why Wait for the 'LAST STRAW'?

Care for the  'LAST STRAW'?  Oh, you won't believe it, many of us are partial and comfortable in stretching and stretching things, so patient and persevering and worst, [wrongly] thinking that eventually he'll be fine, that things will turn out favorable, that the turn of events will eventually end based on his sheer optimism.  That probably explains why we tend to have misplaced optimisms such that we keep waiting for the 'LAST STRAW' but it's too bad, only a minority of us all assess the risks and probabilities in a level-headed manner.  Very few in fact amongst us give an impartial and balanced revalidation and reassessment of the debacle they are currently confronting.

One could be in a very trying relationship that has seen more DOWNs than UPs through the years.   And yet, surprisingly, there are folks with misplaced optimism as they remain nursing for hopes that eventually, the other protagonist [and that could be his/her partner/spouse] will eventually welcome him/her back in open arms despite and inspite of all the wrong things he's been guilty of.  In short, they keep waiting for the 'LAST STRAW'.

In life, when you start things out, you could find yourself so secure with a robust-looking rope but what we tend to overlook is that even the sturdiest rope will experience its natural 'WEAR and TEAR' till the last strands of its fiber becomes the the 'LAST STRAW' that will eventually snap off.  Sounds familiar?  Yesirrrrrs we have seen that scenario day-in day-out in our life.

Hey, let me confront you.  Do you really want to turn a blind eye in the face of all the risks you're facing?  And hoping against hope that you will never end up to that very 'LAST STRAW' that will hit the camel's back?  Good grief.  That probably explains why many of us in a debacle end up badly beaten black and blue, no thanks to being stubborn and just blink to the harsh realities we are facing.  And when your partner unceremoniously walks out from your domicile, many of us get floored, sometimes fatally.

Don't look far.  Instead, relook at our relationships now with our partner/spouse and re-examine things proactively.  Doesn't it make sense that we do a REALITY CHECK in case we will end up wit the LAST STRAW that will BREAK THE CAMEL's BACK?  C'mon, it's never late to do a reset❗❗❗

All GAS and No BRAKES

All GAS and No BRAKES

No sirrrrrs, today's piece is not related to the current oil price conundrum which, as of yesterday, the price per barrel was just a shade below $100.  But instead, what I want to pitch today is all about pressing all GAS and NOT to pull on the BRAKES

Instead, this is all about egging us all that in life, when we set our goals and go for it, let us frame our mindsets to go ALL GAS and NO BRAKES.  So, what does going ALL GAS mean?  Simple.  It means being focused, being ALL-OUT, firing all cylinders at its full throttle.  You might challenge me as you might think this is a no-brainer.  But here's the fact.  At the very least, 50% of us all don't really give it all when we are on something.  We exert efforts just right, just enough.  Likely you heard relationships when a partner is not ALL GAS

So, why is it sometimes our bosses at work or our partner/spouse will express concern that you DON'T have that ALL GAS mindset?  Well, where there is smoke, there is fire and when one gets HALF-HEARTED, what else do you expect? Do you expect the healthiest relationship if all you gave are token efforts and no more than lip service.

Oh, this is my poster for the day.  GIVE UP, GIVE IN or GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT.  Regardless of your endeavor, and be it at the workplace, in your relationship or even in your business, the drivers of either your SUCCESS or FAILURE can be dissected back as to whether you have decided to either GIVE UP, GIVE IN or GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT.  Your fate in life will be shaped as to whether you will opt in for the first option or the last option.  Let's go ALL GAS and NO BRAKES, dude✅✅✅

Never Miss Out the BACK-BURNERS

Never Miss Out the BACK-BURNERS

Yes, that is true, We are all biased and partial to those that are at the forefront, at the main burners.  Problem is, the bulk of things going on are in the BACK-BURNERS.  And that is our problem.  The frontage always gets the attention but what gets missed out are the BACK-BURNERS.  To ensure we are all aligned, let us do a sampling of typical goings-on in our lives which are often left in the BACK-BURNERS.  If you're in school, the minor elective subjects seem to be left in the BACK-BURNERS.  In your relationships, the gross disservice is when your partner/spouse seemingly gets stuck in the BACK-BURNERS, huhuhu.

Isn't that a 'RECURRING REPEAT' [pardon for the intentional redundancy] but here's the thing.  How often we heard that the spouse/partner gets overlooked, gets relegated alongside the backdrops until the relationship hits its rough patches and its foundation starts to weaken until it crumbles down to the ground.  All because the partner has been pushed to the BACK-BURNER.  Before you know it, the flicker and the luster of the once super sweet relationship has dissipated in thin air.

Let's now swing over to the workplace.  At the start when a 'prized catch' gets onboarded, his value to the organization seems to be at an all-time high [and that always happens in the 'honeymoon period' anyway].  Then when that 'honeymoon period' is over, that 'prized catch' has lost his luster and he ends up in the BACK-BURNER.  What happens next?  As he gets less and lesser attention, he starts to look out in the job market again.  Poor dude.

Truth of the matter. It is human nature to end up in a vacuum-like situation when after all the frenzied attention that did abound, when that dreaded eerie silence creeps in, one realizes that probably, he's now part of the BACK-BURNER, NOT deserving of the premium presence, NOT worth the attention of the stakeholders.

But hey, let us NOT 'over-analyze' and 'over think' unless you are able to validate that your best days in your school, in your organization, in your relationship or even in your business, that those BEST DAYS are behind you because there is nothing left of you except your shadows as a BACK-BURNER.  But hey, ask me:  can you get a 'second wind', a 'second life', a 'second change' around?  Sure you can but you got to DIG DEEP into your bag of tricks ❗❗❗

Make It Stick, Dude

Make It Stick, Dude

Oh, let me caution you.  Today's piece should not be one boring one.  Although STICKS seem that boring.  But would you agree that Sticks do Stick?  Whereas there are many more complex and convoluted things in life.  But the challenge we have in our hands is that more often, we are not given a second chance to redo things all over again.  Obviously, we are all confident that if we doing things take a second time around, we could do things much better, with more finesse, with more aplomb and most importantly, with an impactful aftermath.  However, the catch here is that things could have been impacted either way around.

How about clowns?  Why are they so impactful?  Why do they grab the headlines for extended periods of time, with their stories told and retold across?  What sets clowns apart from us?  Simple.  They are the best exemplifications of making things stick.  Throw clowns in any country, in any culture, in any event.  When the curtains fall, they would have likely left their mark deeply across their audience.  Hey, what makes clown impactful?  They are the top proponents of making things stick.  While they perform based on $$$, that's a non-issue.

BTW, to make things impactful, you DON'T have to be so convoluted and complex.  In fact, to quote Bill Clinton, "KEEP IT SIMPLE, shit". And by keeping things that way, you can leave your own imprint.  If you're a student in school, your submitted academic projects should be spotless and spot on.  If you're in the workplace, you must leave your own imprint such that you will be known for it.  Be it quality-focused, SLA-centric, customer-driven or even innovation-driven.  In a relationship, your partner/spouse must know from head to foot your personal imprint as a partner/spouse.

If you're an artist, leave your personal imprint and if you, your artwork will likely stand out and your audience will realize your work attributes in terms of perfectionism, creativity and an artist driven with meaning in his artworks.

You may NOT be an entrepreneur but think about your own BRANDING.  Obviously, this is easier said than done but think about it, if you get to be touted based on your best attributes in your endeavor, people will all swarm towards you, not because of you yourself but it's because of your BRANDING, how you have etched a name in your endeavor.  And if it's about relationships, if your partner/spouse 'adores' you heads over heels, imagine if you end up with more 'secret admirers' [not because of an ill intent]✅✅✅

When It Does NOT Gain Traction

When It Does NOT Gain Traction

Many things in life do NOT gain traction right on the first try.  BTW, some could have tried things out for the umpteenth time all in vain.  So how?When It Does NOT Gain Traction, what do we do?  Give up instantly? Or retry till we drop dead?  No sirrrrs, either way, it does NOT work that way.  For obvious reasons, why give up INSTANTLY?  On the other hand, let us take the extreme scenario when and where someone just keeps retrying and retrying forever?

Now comes social media all over the place.  As a first-person account, I did bear witness to people who just never gave up after falling flat a hundred times.  No thanks to social media, someone can keep reaching out via FB, via twitter, name it.  Does that make sense when it does NOT gain Traction

So, what exactly is traction?  Why fuss much about it?  Simple.  Gaining or NOT gaining traction is your very bellwether.  It tells us if we started things on the right or wrong foot.  While it does not guarantee that you will succeed on that endeavor, it does give us the affirmation that you are on the right path, right track

No need to look far.  Those successful athletes finally made their mark after arduous tries and trials and they all went through a game plan that was formulated not for the short-term but even for the long-term.  But how and what made them decide to pursue that long-term game plan?  It is because, at its earliest stages, they confirmed gaining traction because they were slowly seeing the fruits of their hard work, albeit in small drips and drops.

Where and when you DON'T gain traction, what do you do?  Simple.  Go back to the drawing board.  Reset.  Reboot.  Revalidate because things are way off mark.  This holds water especially in relationships.  If you and your partner/spouse have been in 'turmoil' in extended periods, re-examine, reboot and restart the relationship❗❗❗

Tomorrow is Promised to No One

Tomorrow is Promised to No One

How often do we hear:  HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?  Whether it's a task to be performed, something to be processed, an output that needs to be generated, a discussion that needs to clear up the air, a conflict that needs to be resolved, a problem that needs to be fixed but hey, Tomorrow is Promised to No One.

But we can retort, why are we NOT entitled to tomorrow?  Well, you and I are entitled to tomorrow but what is NOT promised that when tomorrow comes, the task you put off will be done, the output you need to generate will churn out the report, the discussion will transpire, that conflict will be resolved, if at all and the lingering problem will be fixed.  As this poster goes, tomorrow is promised to no one.  Semantics-wise, yes tomorrow will come but your misplaced and unfounded expectations may not materialize, if at all.

Oh yes, I got an idea for today's piece when I recently watched an old movie by Clint Eastwood, and that one-liner did hit me beyond my lapels.  Why?  Because many of us [that includes me many times in the past] invested so much hope and expectations for tomorrow, missing out the fact that what matters most is today because this is the moment.  Why do many of us put off for tomorrow what can be done, fixed, resolved or accomplished today?  I know the answer.  We got so spoiled by Father Time, skewing and even distorting our understanding, this time around, [wrongly] thinking that anything you put off for tomorrow, you will be fine.  No Senor, not at all.  

So while promises abound everywhere, let's think about the cynics, the pessimist.  How often you come across someone who worries much about tomorrow?  Like WHAT IF there will be a thunderstorm.  Like WHAT IF there will be a traffic gridlock.  Like WHAT IF there is too much work tomorrow.  Like WHAT IF you feel lazy and not so energized come next day.  And that litany goes on like you are in the infinity pool.  But can we throw out of the window all those WHAT IF [although this is the truism if you are in Risk Management].

Indeed, quite often we are in a quandary because too much is at stake and YET, too much is tied up to tomorrow, a day that was never promised to us but we kept clinging to it.  How many debacles have we witnessed wherein we end up scratching our head because when indeed tomorrow did come, alas, what we thought was NOT there, what we expected was NOT there either and the 'HAPPY ENDING' we optimistically thought did not materialize at all.

So what's the fix?  Let's have both our feet firmly on the ground.  Let us have a REALITY CHECK and as to how we are faring, let us run a PULSE CHECK to know where things are going right and where things are off track.  In our lives, when the locomotive is shaping up to be a train wreck, even before disaster strikes, there will be RED FLAGS that will pop up.  It's for you to recognize it and rectify asap.  Just constantly remember that TOMORROW IS PROMISED TO NO ONE❗❗❗

When All Hands Are On Deck

When All Hands Are On Deck

How often do we hear our leaders declare that All Hands Are On Deck?  Well, it does not happen everyday but when it does, what does it mean to us?  And obviously, the bigger question is:  WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?  But that is a question crafted for you and not for anyone else to answer.  What is at stake?  What do I gain?  What dividends will I reap?  And WHAT IF I don't lift my finger at all?

Definitely, there will be too many WHAT IFs
not because your mindset is synchronized either within your family or your organization but moreso because this equation contains one too many variables such that the results can swing as wild as the pendulum does and if you leave your own fate to that pendulum that swings, one too many WHAT IFs can lead to one too many UNKNOWNs in life.

So, when we hear marching orders like All Hands Are On Deck, what does this really mean?  Simply put, it means that either your family or organization has reached a point of reckoning where everyone needs to pitch in because not even fractions of the organization can take matters into its own hands.

Years back, my global boss sent his marching orders for us to fly to our Silicon Valley Headquarters because it was All Hands On Deck.  Long story short, two years later. our organization was part of a huge M & A [Merger and Acquisition] in the technology space and looking back, I realized flying all the way to the US was our RECKONING POINT.

What does this mean to us if at all?  Never miss that opportunity to be an integral part when All Hands Are On Deck because whether the boat sinks or survives, you will always be part of that success or undoing.  The worst thing to happen in life is when you skip and ignore things by looking the other way around.  IF that happens, that will be your UNDOING that will be most regrettable❗❗❗

How CONNECTED Are You?

How CONNECTED Are You?

Not to piggy-back with today's 'IN' thing but indeed, 'CONNECTION' has evolved to be the norm especially the past two years where we all got LOCKED OUT by this pandemic.  So, how CONNECTED are you?  Regardless if you're still a student, a worker, an entrepreneur or someone in a relationship now, to be CONNECTED is now the norm.  Ooooops, to be CONNECTED is NOT even an option for us to skip.

Oh yes, for those techie SMEs, anytime they hear CONNECTED, likely they will think of IOT [Internet of Things] but no sirrrrs, today's piece is NOT about IOT.  Instead, this is all about how are we really CONNECTED [are we?] in life but instead, we'd like to dissect as what are the consequences of being DISCONNECTED. If you're still in school, expect to struggle in your academic performance.

At the workplace, if you are DISCONNECTED,  not sure with your awareness and alignment with your organization's goals, mission and vision.  And in terms of delivery to clients, not sure if you are aligned with the quality aspects your clients demand and expect.  And if you're in a relationship, being DISCONNECTED does not augur well for your relationship because that will likely lead to gaps that may widen.

At the end of the day, what binds us in our endeavors are our being CONNECTED consistently.  Keyword here is CONSISTENCY because if we end up like a 'flash in the pan',  we are being deceptive to ourselves because sporadic flashes lend credence to doubts of your credibility in being CONNECTED.  BTW, lip service is equally self-defeating.  You can't cheat on yourself because in the end, you are pushing yourself deeper in that morass.

Ask me, what could be a game-changer or even a life-changer?  It is either being CONNECTED or DISCONNECTED because that separates the grain from the chaff.  So, there is no unwritten formula here.  Be genuine to your partners in school, at work, in your business or at the workplace and never waiver and weaken your resolve to be on the same page❗❗❗

Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak

Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak

Question:  Have you ever been advised to Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak ?  I guess, hardly and likely, nary at all.  I DON'T evem remember myself being advised on this at all.  Why?  Probably, it's because many of us are guilty of this [and I'd be the first one to admit that many times in the past, I was guilty of this too].  But then, it's never late for us to RIGHT THE WRONGS.

To take a leaf from james 1:19, Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak [AND... SLOW TO get angry]. And this truism can't be more valid.  Because, the truth of the matter is that more often than not, we have that propensity to SHOOT FROM THE HIP.  We even tend to speak way ahead of our vocals because instantaneously, we tend to pre-judge or prematurely reach to conclusion bereft of the validated facts and data that need to be pieced together to come up with the complete picture that is neither skewed nor distorted.  Let's look back into our lives and recall those repeated exceptions where we are that guilty akin to having blood in our hands.

At work, have we pre-judged some of our colleagues?  In our relationship with ur partner/spouse, HOW OFTEN were you QUICK to SPEAK yet SLOW to LISTEN? And guess what happened when we pre-judged our colleagues or even our partner/spouse?  And guess what happened next?  Did you SPEAK LOUDLY so cocksure of your raw and premature conclusions?

The mother of all ironies is that often times, communications is ongoing between two parties but what results next is still a gap, a disconnect.  Why?  More often, it is due to the fact that we are NOT actively listening.  We refuse to hear things we DON'T want to hear.  FILTERING intrudes as part of the variables in the equation.  End result?  Both the protagonists will declare "I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU" and the gap that was originally a mile apart exacerbates to become a ten-mile disconnect, no thanks to one or two parties who either wholly or partially shut down his/her eardrums as part of FILTERING.

When things get overblown beyond proportions, what's next?  It becomes a full-blown conflict when it all started off simply as a misunderstanding. If only we are QUICK to Listen and SLOW to Speak, a hell lot of conflicts all around us could have been averted in the first place.  In the end, this becomes an unnecessary problem, a problem of our own making.  If only we are QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak ✅✅✅