Make The Ask

WHAT separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls?  To paraphrase it, WHAT differentiates us adults from children?  And WHAT differentiation really stands out hands down?  Any guess dude?  You're spot on.  Children ASK more often than us adults?  The cynics would quickly defend themselves by claiming they ASK a lot of questions at the workplace.  Oh, c'mon, that's the workplace dude.  So, WHEN was the last time you ASKED ANYONE ANYTHING?  And HOW often you do ASK ANYONE ANYTHING???

YES dude, admit it OR not, there's this hang-up with us adults.  WHETHER it's asking for help, OR asking for advice, OR asking for a mentor OR coach, for the longest time I've generally observed that we adults find that ASKING itself is a ROADBLOCK that we inadvertently put in our own way.  Is it because we're afraid of REJECTION OR WHEN we like raise our hand for help, it will appear that we are "LESS THAN"???

Surprisingly, in many researches by experts, their results prove things otherwise.  Those studies found the opposite to be true instead.  THAT generally, people want to help each other.  And WHEN we're vulnerable, gracious and transparent in our ASKING, it opens the door for opportunity.  And the reality of the situation is that we CAN'T do it alone, even if we wanted to.  In my very first [business] trip to Japan [around 8 years ago], I arrived Tokyo quite late in the night and it was drizzling.  Worse, there were very few people walking WHOM I can ASK for help🙏🙏🙏

WHEN finally there was a lady passerby, I approached her and luckily, I had a handful of introductory Nihongo words to help me out.  So, WHEN I said 'sumimasen', she stopped and bowed.  That's WHEN I said I need help because I CAN'T locate the hotel WHERE I'm billeted.  WHAT happened next?  She guided me all the way to my hotel up to its very entrance😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  Besides our apprehension that we will be perceived to be "LESS THAN', more often, the ugly side of PRIDE kicks in.  And that can be our worst nemesis because if PRIDE remains to be roadblock before you can MAKE THE ASK, WHAT will happen to us if we need help OR guidance OR clarification BUT keep things close to our chest?  C'mon dude, the reality of the situation is that generally, we CAN'T do it alone, even if we wanted to.  To ride on English Poet John Donne's poem, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND dude❗❗❗

Seriously Alarming, AI SCAMS ON THE RISE!

ALERT1 ALERT2 ALERT3:  This is seriously alarming.  AI SCAMS ARE ON THE RISE! And the trajectory is so sharp and sudden, it defies the compounded escalation rates.  In today's breaking news from Channelnewsasia, a Shanghai man got scammed of US$ 28,000 by his, hold your breath, YES, by his so called "AI GIRLFRIEND", whew!!! BTW, that is NOT an outlier of a news.    AI-triggered SCAMS are happening everywhere, name it💥💥💥

If there is one observation I have the past 2 to 4 weeks, my other 'unpublished' number is receiving an incoming call from numbers unknown to me.  HOW do I handle it?  I would intentionally MISS that call.  And then, once that ringing call stops, I would send an SMS to that number and send "WHO'S CALLING PLEASE".  To date, 100% of those SMS messages I sent are 100% NOT responded.  WHAT conclusions can we draw from those so-called 'outliers'???

Pick up WHATEVER newswire you want to hear, they are having the same breaking news, that is, DEEPFAKE VOICE SCAMS are significantly and rapidly escalating and obviously that poses a serious threat to everyone.  And WHAT's the initial post mortems for these incidents, forensic experts attest that fraudsters now CLONE VOICES to impersonate loved ones, financial institutions [spelled B-A-N-K] and even government agencies, deceiving victims into handling over sensitive information❌❌❌

NOT so long ago, the VOICE SCAMS was pretty crude.  A human caller [WHO's a stranger but knows your name, your spouse's name and your children's names] calls and triggers an alarm like "YOUR CHILD GOT HIT IN AN ACCIDENT" and "HE'S NOW AT THE HOSPITAL EMERGENCY.  I AM FROM THE HOSPITAL AND WE REQUIRE A DEPOSIT/ADVANCE PAYMENT AMOUNTING TO XXXXX".  That was the old playbook!@#$%?

Our takeaway:  Trust me, all these are NOT false alarms.  AI has become wiser and sophisticated, it can clone anyone's voice and as the Shanghai man learned the hard way, he could end up with an "AI GIRLFRIEND"  who'll scoop away his hard earned monies.  NOT to alarm you BUT please consider NOT to pick up an incoming call into your mobile phone especially if you're using that same mobile phone for mobile banking apps, etc.  TO BE FOREWARNED IS TO BE FOREARMED😈😈😈

Yes, We Live Within The 'DASH-LINE'

 

Respected poet and author Linda Ellis is known much more for being the author of 'THE DASH' which refers to that DASH between a person's date of birth and his/her death of birth on the tombstone.  NOT for us to dissect that insightful poem NOW but the messaging from Linda Ellis here is crystal clear.  THAT is, YES, WE LIVE WITHIN THE 'DASH-LINE'.  BUT it's more than just highlighting the variable in the equation.  Instead, WHAT's being imparted here is that we have that huge window to positively [and NOT negatively] exploit our life to the hilt, even improving ourselves by focusing on things that are good for you, and that includes challenging NEGATIVE self-talk, practicing self-respect, managing stress and resolving conflicts in our relationships📗📙📘

In the shortest words, HOW DO WE LIVE OUR 'DASH'?  Regardless WHETHER we want to boost our mood, get better at our time management, develop healthy personal habits OR focus on self-growth, self-improvement is key to enhancing our quality of life.  Even if it feels challenging at the moment OR you feel you've tried and COULDN'T before, it is possible to feel better about yourself and fulfill your dreams and goals💧💧💧

SO HOW?  YES, I'll share the first step I did start sometime back.  I started journaling.  WHETHER it will take 5 minutes of your time OR more everyday, spare just that time you can spare.  Like any author, you may have a few story plots to choose from.  Once you started this off, if you feel getting stalled from time to time, identify if either some events OR people in your life may have become the roadblocks for your development?  A bit of a challenge here is that feeling STUCK might look different for everyone.  You may feel like it regardless of the circumstances in your life OR you might have specific relationships OR tasks that take the energy and focus from you.  So, you may want to start exploring as WHAT 'feeling stuck' means to you, if anything at all.  Unfortunately, some of us are overly concerned about our past mistakes OR WHAT will happen tomorrow.  Psychologists tell us that to focus on self-growth needs us to LIVE IN THE PRESENT💦💦💦

On the lighter side, NO sirrrrrs, we're NOT referring to EM DASH or EN DASH or EN HYPHEN here.  Verily true, all experts are in unison to tell us that focusing on the RIGHT NOW can be challenging especially in our world today as today's technology and expectation to be connected at all times is one of the most prominent challenges we all face WHEN trying to be present in the here and NOW.  And another common blocker these days is our TIME MANAGEMENT.  Among the things we can improve, managing time efficiently may be key⏰⏰⏰

Our takeaway:  If there's a simple sharing I can open up now, I remember that year WHEN I explicitly set an intention for my life NOT just for the long-term BUT for my NEXT hour, NEXT day and NEXT weeks to come.  And I learned from our global teambuilding resource that one way of setting our intention is to practice VISUALIZATION, that is, seeing yourself accomplishing those things you want.  HOW did I do it?  In the midst of the daily traffic gridlock I had to endure, I exploited those tons of hours with the engine idling for me to figure things out.  And frankly, I have to admit that VISUALIZING things pushed me to CONCRETIZE anything that was vague and ambiguous.  And even as WE [still] LIVE WITHIN THE 'DASH LINE', let us NOT let these opportunities slip past us, dude💚💛💜

Yes, Life Happens 'IN-BETWEEN'

 

YES, LIFE HAPPENS IN-BETWEEN.  Unless you are rushing from end-to-end, we are encouraged to figure out enjoying even our LIFE IN-BETWEEN.  If I am beating up on schedules and I'll drive out-of-town, I relish the moments every step of the way, literally speaking.  Without risking my driving safety, I would take time to appreciate some NOT-so notable landmarks along the way, even if it's a creek OR a construction still in-progress💜💛💚

SO HOW?  WHAT do we do IN-BETWEENS then?  I'm NOT talking about the cream in between the wafers of an Oreo.  And I'm NOT talking about the commercials in between TV shows.  I'm NOT even talking about the curious ball of lint you find in between MORE important experiences we tend to have everyday.  IF I look back through the years, belatedly, I am realizing NOW that much of our time  may have been spent in seemingly insignificant moments IN-BETWEENs in fact💥💥💥

NOW I am missing something.  Those long-haul Trans-Atlantic flights I am onboard and after all the meals are served, lights would DIM, dimmer than you want.  BUT there I was [of course, I only take the coach [except several times I got upgraded [FOR FREE] to business class], seated in the midst of darkness WHILE my ceiling pin light was the solitary one that keeps me company.  You might wonder WHAT keeps me busy?  It's either I'm browsing on something OR compiling my one-off PLAYLIST which I'll replay for the rest of the flight✅✅✅

Now, let's agree as to WHY embracing the smaller, ordinary moments in our everyday life can make us happier WHATEVER keeps us busy [OR NOT busy] everyday.  I remember in my everyday 'walkaround' lasting for more than an hour everyday [that's roughly 7 km], a few times now, an old man [probably anywhere between 70s to 80s] seemed resting on the sidewalk and he DIDN'T waste time to greet me a good morning WHEN I noticed that he seemed to be recovering from a serious illness [e.g. either a mild OR serious stroke].  YES, I admire him because he seems to relish LIFE IN-BETWEEN😃😃😃

Our takeaway:  We can even go back down memory lane and reminisce our childhood days WHEN life was so 'carefree'.  BUT I do understand that appreciating even little things [like our childhood memory] has become more difficult in a world fixated on achievement and meeting your NEXT career OR business milestone.  We're often encouraged to celebrate our BIG successes and then curate them for social media.  WHICH means that those smaller, simpler moments in our day tend to go unnoticed?  OUCH!@#$%?

JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON

 

Is JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON positive OR negative?  Generally it imparts a positive one because it's like egging people to join you on something that is good enough both for you and the other party.  And it is one of the proven marketing ploys that's been proven to generate positive results in terms of product patronage, revenue OR sales.  BUT there are circumstances WHEN JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON may NOT be the best way to go😌😌😌

Without being cynical OR skeptical, it is verily true that we should NOT JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON by default, accepting it hook, line and sinker.  NOT WHEN an idea is gaining traction.  NOT WHEN a trend is gaining ground.  NOT if and WHEN you see the whole crowd [or even a plurality] is taking one common direction.  NOT WHEN someone plays the role of a 'MESSENGER' to cascade a specific intent OR messaging.  NOT WHEN you could feel that peer pressure brewing up❎❎❎

On the other hand, we're NOT implying that outright, you shoot down someone's encouraging invitation OR ignoring as to why a plurality of the whole group is buying-in on a novel idea OR 'shooting down' the 'messenger' of the message.  Instead, it behooves that we thoroughly assess it, its PROs and CONs, its UPSIDEs and DOWNSIDEs and equally important, one question WHICH only you yourself can answer best enough is this:  WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS IF I DON'T RIDE THE BANDWAGON???

So, WHAT are the tell-tale signs to consider?

• If your PERSONAL CONVICTION seems missing and genuine support seems missing 
• If there's a potential for NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES - Critically evaluate first
• Important decisions like a career change or a major purchase [like properties] should NOT be based on trends [OR social media influence, ouch that's tough to hear]
• And if it goes against your values OR ethics

Our takeaway:  Two succinct words.  THINK CRITICALLY.  SO HOW?  Do your own research.  Reflect on your own needs and align your personal goals [and purpose] to that so called trending thing.  And the bottom-line is, ensure that you will always come up with an INFORMED DECISION.  Mistakes [which sometimes turn out to be major blunders] happen because of 'knee jerk' decisions that were devoid of the essential information to help you before JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON❗❗❗

Your Toughest Nemesis Is Yourself

 

YOUR TOUGHEST NEMESIS IS YOURSELF.  NOT your competitor OR colleague you're jealous of.  NOT that neighborhood bully.  NOT even that tough taskmaster either at work OR at the workplace.  YES dude, you whispered correctly.  Because our toughest nemesis in life is our very own self.  The famous Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh was quoted:  IF YOU HEAR A VOICE WITHIN YOU SAYING "YOU CANNOT PAINT"..... then by all means, PAINT!!!  Ang he quips, THAT VOICE WILL BE SILENCED.  Oh YES, thank goodness he did.  Back into our lives, chances are sometimes, we do get into that sort of 'psychic wrestling match' with that little weak voice in our head that chips away at our confidence💚💛💜

WHAT happens next?  THAT then dials into our SELF-DOUBT.  And our SELF-DOUBT reawakens from its deep slumber, NO THANKS to our own self.  And let us NOT belittle those inner rumblings we have within us because they are so impactful.  LIKE WHAT IF you mess up?  WHAT IF you make a fool of yourself?  WHAT IF people will say this and that?  WHAT IF it will end up that you're just NOT smart enough OR talented enough OR capable enough❎❎❎

Verily true, if we DON'T handle things correctly and deftly enough, our TOUGHEST NEMESIS is our very own self.  Factually, SELF-DOUBT is part and parcel of our human experience.  As it should be anyways.  We DON'T have to look too far to see too little SELF-DOUBT can be outright dangerous, if NOT perilous.  Yet, IF it is left unchecked, the fear that fuels our SELF-DOUBT can drive us to be overly cautious and end up keeping us from taking the very actions which we verily need to do💦💦💦

Out in the workplace, much as the percentage of successful women keeps having that positive trajectory, it still pains me to see a lot more women WHO are as talented and gifted [and many of them are way more gifted than men] and yet, they remain at that place WHERE they are, unrecognized, untapped, undiscovered.  And WHILE society and culture plays a huge role as an influence-shaper, they CAN'T totally run clean and be fault-less here because I did witness many women sell themselves short because they fear they DON'T WHAT it takes to succeed.  Unfortunately, the harsh reality here is that DOUBT SITS TRIUMPHANT WHILE ACTIONS GO UNDONE.  Really frustrating, pitiful at the very least😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  As an analogy here, we DON'T pick up the phone and make the call.  And we DON'T extend that invitation either.  And we DON'T raise our hand for a job promotion.  And we DON'T say 'ENOUGH' and we DON'T push back and say NO OR say YES and move-on, dive-in OR pick up the pen.  Otherwise, we will all be consumed by our own SELF-DOUBT.  Yes dude, let us NOT allow our toughest nemesis to bring us down.  BRING IT ON, dude❗❗❗

Is Your NEXT Move Your BEST Move?

 

Truly, making the NEXT MOVE is a no-brainer.  Everyone will take that one, sometimes effortless.  BUT WHAT makes things interesting [and challenging] is HOW to endeavor making your NEXT MOVE YOUR BEST MOVE.  LIKE the graduating students, all focused to end their academic term with aplomb.  LIKE job market rookie trying to leave his mark with his best interview performance.  LIKE the swooning lothario trying to make his best foot forward as he impresses on wooing his dream girl📗📙📘

SO HOW?  Practical guides I absorbed through the years is for me to get CLEAR and be CLEAR enough on WHO I am, WHAT my value is, and WHAT kind of stuff can you bring on the table.  If we're talking about the job market and workplace, you can add, WHAT kind of environment do you want to work in and maybe WHAT specialization do you want to purpose, if at all you DON'T want to end up as a generalist.  These were my IDIOT'S GUIDE as a novice out there.  Obviously, I am sure of the outcome in life if I did NOT have that IDIOT's GUIDE handy for my reference💧💧💧

So, it is imperative that we buckle down and master certain tracks as we take those NEXT MOVES in life.  HOW often have we seen people WHO get stalled instead of taking that NEXT MOVE?  I witnessed recurring and quite pitiful situations WHERE I felt they wasted precious time [and sometimes momentum because it gets lost and dissipates simply WHEN things get stalled]💥💥💥

Knowing your position and situation is first and foremost the given.  And part of mastering your position is learning to figure out WHERE you need to go, WHAT you need to do and WHEN do you want to make your NEXT MOVE.  In the professional workplace, counsellors do advise us to be strategic enough to catch the stakeholders' attention.  And once you have mastered your role and refined your skills, it's time to put yourself in position to go after your next move.  To do that, you have to understand WHAT your goals are so you can get on the radar of the relevant stakeholders [be it at the workplace OR in business].  Just DON'T MISS your BEST NEXT MOVE😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Here's a sage advice I'd like to cascade down the line.  IF and WHEN you started your SEARCH for your NEXT BEST MOVE, just DON'T settle.  The key thing in making OR taking your NEXT MOVE as your BEST MOVE is to be patient and remember that finding that BEST MOVE is to be crafted with precision [and timing no less].  Otherwise, we will end up with regrettable WHAT IFs.  LIKE WHAT IF I just make a MOVE now, and I'll think later if that is the BEST MOVE?  Blunt rebuttal here is that once you MISSED THE BOAT, you never know that WHEN the NEXT BOAT comes, it may NOT be the BOAT that should be the platform of your NEXT MOVE, dude❗❗❗

The "WORK" That Never Ends

 

Before I get bashed and wacked by the bosses at the workplace, allow me to clarify that this thread is NOT about work [literally] BUT it's the KIND OF WORK THAT NEVER ENDS in our life.  Surely, through the internet, you've either seen OR heard hundreds of videos from strength gurus that shout at us for us to PUSH HARDER, to go BEYOND THE LIMITS.  True, there is a fine line between a sort of toxic masculinity that gained traction lately versus the concept of SELF-IMPROVEMENT and striving for greatness and resilience📗📙📘

YES, I CAN'T agree less that everyone of us needs to push ourselves to be better [this is NOT just about work at the workplace, dude].  The WORK THAT NEVER ENDS is the WORK WE DO ON OUR OWN SELF.  And WHAT better way to approach things by framing our mindset to be BETTER than 99% of everyone else.  Cynics would quickly blurt out THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE [for everyone to be ahead of 99%] else it will be damn crowded up there at the totem pole.  BUT with that 99% mindset, it DOESN'T mean breaking your body OR your mind💚💛💜

You might ask, DO WE REALLY NEED TO CHALLENGE OURSELVES?  True, challenging ourselves is never easy BUT let's look at the possible rewards down the road, it should be worth it, right?  Once we step out of our comfort zone and embrace challenges, we will end up pushing ourselves past our limitations and in the end, expand our horizons.  And the benefits?  It's a mile-long💥💥💥

Topping the benefits is our own personal development.  And WHO DOESN'T want it?  Challenging ourself forces us to grow and develop new skills.  Even as we speak now, I am harnessing the powers of AI by upskilling myself way beyond typing generic ChatGPT searches.  And by continuously pushing ourself, we will be better equipped to handle life's challenges even seize opportunities down the road [striking WHILE THE IRON IS HOT, so to speak]✅✅✅

To quote Michael Jordan, the GOAT [touted as the greatest basketball player of all time], he never ceased to keep pushing himself.  And it's beyond debate that stepping out and beyond our comfort zone is essential for our personal growth.  And a bonus to the long list of benefits will be our improved resilience [we need to remember that adversities will come our way from time to time].  YES dude, we get to give our own BUY-IN because this is THE "WORK" THAT NEVER ENDS😌😌😌

Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?

 

Many times in life, we were always peppered with lessons and reminders to keep moving and with such reminders peppered with threats like sedentary life is the start of your end. Seriously though, Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?  Shifting over to our daily lives, WHILE we can set our intentions for a better future, if and WHEN we DON'T accept our life now and make peace with the present moment just as it is, I am quite NOT so optimistic that struggles might pop-out down the road.  The reality is that for many of us [and I was once one of them], we tend to have those negative 'programming beliefs',  where we tend to live in a way that does NOT align with the life that we want for ourselves and so, we have those physical manifestations of things WHICH we DON'T want.  And the more we feel bad, sad OR mad about it, the more we will feel stuck📗📙📘

Imagine if we keep pressing forward, SPINNING THE WHEELS hoping it moves forward BUT it DOESN'T!  Besides having that pent up feeling of frustration, it does nothing but create that level of resistance that goes against the current momentum of our life, sending muddy waters flying everywhere and messing everything up.  Years back, I vividly remember WHEN my car got stuck in the mud, literally speaking, and despite the endless spinning of the wheel, I tend to resist against it💚💛💜

By wanting to leave so badly to leave WHERE you are and go elsewhere WHEN you are yet to learn the 'LESSONS', we end up creating that level of resistance and cause more suffering for yourself and everyone around you.  And this is where STRESS gets into the equation as STRESS is something that everyone experiences and oftentimes, we STRESS about things that seem to have NO foreseeable solution.  All along, I always [wrongly] thought that behavior was stupid and yet, at some time OR other, we all find ourselves doing that too, SPINNING OUR WHEELS, sometimes minus the noise💥💥💥

SO HOW can we stop SPINNING THE WHEEL?  Here's the thing.  WHEN I asked myself that question many years ago, I ended up confronting myself with another question, to wit:  Am I SPINNING MY WHEEL FOR WHAT?  True, it sounds simple and intuitive BUT identifying WHAT it is that you are upset about is NOT necessarily obvious, so identifying exactly WHAT it is that you are upset about is an important first step.  So, we need to know WHAT upsets us in the first place❗❗❗

Our takeaway: Besides knowing WHAT, we need to know WHY are we indeed SPINNING THE WHEEL, it is equally important because NOT being aware of the WHY aspect, HOW can we move on to the next logical step, which is to disengage from that unacceptable outcome so that it will lead us to a solution in contrast to having to be right OR vindicated.  True, sometimes there is NO immediate solution to a problem.  Sometimes, people just DON'T behave the way we think they should OR are just plain wrong.  And true, sometimes, life ISN'T fair.  And this leads us back to ask to be sharp enough once we realize ourselves SPINNING THE WHEEL😌😌😌

Turning Passion Into Purpose

 

HOW many success stories we heard, people becoming successful BIG TIME but tracing back their humble beginnings, it all started as an interest, a hobby that turned into passion.  Till one day, realization happened that YES, we can turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  Oh YES, I do recall hearing this one-liner as well:  DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU'LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.  And while that is ostensibly true, it grossly minimizes the sheer amount of GRIT, hard work and even determination required to turn one's passion into a viable career.  Blood, sweat and tears are an inevitable part of the entrepreneur's journey.  Trueness, to build your own business, that's a hell lot of work ahead📗📙📘

Let's put it this way.  IF you DON'T really believe in WHAT you're doing, it's pretty hard to justify the effort it will take to succeed.  YES, if we talk to the people behind those zillions of success stories [YES, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates are at the forefront], they can easily write a book and it will still be unfinished business because their pursuits remain in-progress even as we speak now.  For now, though, let's simplify things💥💥💥

BUT from an IDEA stage, there are critically important NEXT STEPS we need to take, which we can succinctly sum up here.  Without a clear vision, a thorough plan and a commitment to follow the path you would lay out for yourself, that DREAM you have in your hands will remain a DREAM just that, trust me.  YES, admittedly, there is NO secret sauce OR magic recipe💚💛💜

SO WHAT?  It's a lot of work ahead if we want to turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  YES, let us give ourselves that time and space to dream BIG, with NO limits, NO judgments.  Do get clear on WHAT you're truly passionate about [and NOT WHAT your peers are doing...... DON'T let peer pressure take over your life.  BTW, not even if that pressure comes from WHAT your family thinks💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Before we dampen all those hopes, be mindful that if you AREN'T doing it for yourself, if your heart really ISN'T in it, you may find yourself in a critical MAKE-IT-OR-BREAK-IT moment doing more breaking than making.  Genuine passion is WHAT will help you find a little more to give even WHEN you think you have nothing left.  It's fuel, and there will be moments throughout your journey WHEN you're going to need it.  YES dude, let's turn your PASSION INTO PURPOSE❗❗❗