Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?

 Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?

Have we given that a thought, if at all?  That process when Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?  Just as water transforms into steam with heat OR solidifies into ice with cold, we too can often need a catalyst to transform our careers, relationships and lives.  BUT let's think about it, THINKING ABOUT OUR THINKING can be that process that may reshape our lives into something either new OR transformative.  In the field of psychology, experts called this METACOGNITION where it is defined as that practice of consciously watching, analyzing, evaluating and reflecting upon one's thought processes📗📙📘

Experts said that METACOGNITION often involves stepping back from our habitual patterns of thought and taking a bird's eye view of our mental landscape.  And studies figured out the reasons WHY we do that.  And the three-fold answer is as follows:

• To understand how we make decisions
• To solve problems sometimes based on the past
• To learn new things 

In brief, METACOGNITION really makes sense.

Experts analyzed that WHEN thoughts pop into your heads, they usually pop right back out.  BUT sometimes we invest a lot of importance to them.  Then those thoughts begin to mean something.  At worst, you feel to portend things to happen.  LIke when you're waiting for a job interview, when you think 'OH THIS IS GOING BAD' and all that stuff, you end up giving too much weight to it and you might take it as a prediction of the future rather than just awaiting for things to UNFOLD & then REACT💧💧💧

Experts claim that WHAT becomes worrisome is IF WHEN those kinds of NEGATIVE thoughts [which experts called 'COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS'] become habitual because WHEN it does, they claim it could lead to OR even exacerbate depression.  And when I did dig up into the results of their studies, what I unraveled is quite scary to even read.  One is ABSOLUTIST THINKING [when you think , 'I'M NEVER PREPARED' or 'EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME'❎❎❎

Another scary scenario is when we blurt, 'OH I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT PROMOTION. I WAS JUST LUCKY'.  And when one tends to overgeneralize, like when you made a single mistake, you tagged yourself as a TOTAL LOSER.  Our takeaway?  THINKING is fine BUT not to the extent of digging a hole deep enough to make things difficult for you to extricate from that hole😐😐😐

How Common Is Common Sense?

How Common Is Common Sense?

How Common Is Common Sense?  Hey dude, could a lack of common sense be holding you back in life?  For alignment, COMMON SENSE is a form of practical decision-making and the ability to imagine the consequences of something you do.  It then stops us from making irrational mistakes and makes it easier to make choices on WHAT to do.  We AREN'T born with COMMON SENSE BUT rather, we develop it over time📗📙📘

Like, it's the COMMON SENSE view to look before crossing the road, to bring the washing in from the line outside when it's raining, NOT to leave the candle alight WHEN you got to go out of the house, to complete an urgent OR important task first, BUT it's NOT just common to everyone, right?  Some people find it harder to think through the consequences of their actions and need to learn COMMON SENSE.  And for some highly intelligent people, they will never learn the COMMON SENSE-way BUT they then go on to make important discoveries to change the world, just like billionaire Elon Musk of late.  With intelligence, you will understand the reason it is raining but the COMMON SENSE view is to stay out of the rain OR take an umbrella OR raincoat, right❓❓❓

At work, we want to be with people WHO display COMMON SENSE as it makes our life just much easier.  They share a common view on WHAT needs to get done, appreciate the needs of the team and will properly complete a task and meet their deadlines.  It can often mean that we need to manage them more closely and this scuppers their chance of promotion.  Surprisingly, COMMON SENSE impacts us way beyond what we are probably aware of💧💧💧

Statistics also show that in the U.K., 68% of Brits believe COMMON SENSE is more important in a potential partner than good looks.  In fact, 48% of Brits wouldn't date someone WHO lacked COMMON SENSE and 20% have, in fact, DUMPED a romantic partner, all because of a lack of COMMON SENSE.  Indeed, WHEN our partner doesn't have COMMON SENSE, it can make us feel like their mother OR carer, constantly having to remind them to do things that most people would do with ease, like putting the bins out, lock the door❌❌❌

One of the interesting research studies shared that individual uniqueness of COMMON SENSE beliefs showed that agreement on COMMON SENSE  diminishes significantly in larger groups such that each person's idea of COMMON SENSE  may be uniquely their own, making the concept less common than one might expect.  Our takeaway?  COMMON SENSE is enhanced by personal experience, and to a far lesser degree, education.  That ability to perceive and discern a situation QUICK enough [and accurately at that] is usually enhanced by life experience.  To wrap-up this intellectual interchange, let's agree that COMMON SENSE  is WHAT we have BUT the other guy DOES NOT have.  Unfortunately, delving into a can of worms may NOT be fruitless unless one is a hungry bird?  After all, COMMON SENSE is not that COMMON😌😌😌

How Anger Helps Us?

How Anger Helps Us?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT inciting ANGER, NOT encouraging and definitely NOT condoning it.  BUT let's face it, ANGER happens because that's part and parcel of our life.  So, How Anger Helps Us?  Fortunately, despite all the downsides and repercussions of ANGER, there are upsides to it, despite it💵💴💷

So, HOW does ANGER help us in life?  Indeed, ANGER is a powerful emotion that requires some skill to manage and to contain.  On one extreme, UNCHECKED externalized ANGER can turn to violence and even aggression.  On the other hand, WHEN repressed, internalized ANGER can even cause depression, health problems and other difficulties💠💠💠

Somewhere midway, feeling and constructively expressing ANGER are essential and necessary to our health and well-being.  DO YOU KNOW that ANGER helps us to survive?  Research studies show that ANGER has played an important evolutionary role in ensuring survival.  Our primal 'fight' response stems from ANGER as it motivates us to vigilantly detect threats and sharpens our focus.  And WHEN our safety is at risk, our ANGER automatically activated and it drives us to defend ourselves, sometimes quickly and forcefully📗📙📘

And DO YOU KNOW that ANGER motivates us?  Studies discovered that ANGER is associated with what's called APPROACH-related motivation.  They assert that there are two basic motivational forces that underlie all behavior namely, THAT impulse to approach or move toward something desired, THAT impulse to withdraw or move away from unpleasantries.  In summary, APPROACH MOTIVATION comprises emotions, cognitions and actions that are driven by the wish to achieve results💧💧💧

Surprisingly, research shows that ANGER significantly activates our brain WHICH is associated with positive approach behaviors.  Our takeaway?  Emotions such as fear and sadness activate our brain which is tied to the more NEGATIVE, withdrawal motivational system marked by inhibition, timidity and avoidance of some kind of punishment OR threat.  Thus, ANGER can potentially provide you with the energy that may be necessary to take action towards achieving certain goals OR to correct unjust situations.  So, as long as we are able to contain our ANGER and leverage on it positively too boost our self-motivation, GO FOR IT, dude😀😀😀

Who Cares?

Who Cares?

We all have FEARS.  That's a given.  BUT our FEARS about what other people think of us are simply overblown and rarely worth fretting over. BUT Who Cares, seriously ? The real problem here ISN'T technology creeping in and disrupting our private lives BUT it's all human nature.  We seem to be wired to care about WHAT others think of us.  To quote Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman philosopher, 'We all love ourselves more than other people BUT care more about their opinion than our own' [that is, WHETHER they are friends, strangers OR even enemies].  This tendency may be natural BUT it can drive us around the bend if we let it.  And IF we were perfectly logical beings, we would understand that our FEARS about WHAT other people think are overblown and NOT worth fretting over📗📙📘

Problem is, OR rather, our BIGGER problem is that many of us [and I was guilty of this in the past] have been indulging this BAD habit for as long as we can remember, so we need to take deliberate steps to change our minds.  Which reminds me of this anonymous one-liner: "You've gotta dance like there's NOBODY watching, love like you'll NEVER get hurt, sing like there's NOBODY listening and live like it's HEAVEN ON EARTH'.  This is the conundrum most of us get caught and squeezed, often unable to wiggle out of the situation.  WHY?  Because by then we have developed that HABIT always thinking SOMEONE is watching, SOMEONE cares💎💎💎

It's true, across countries and cultures, there are kibitzers, snoopers and busybodies.  And I've blurted this out a zillion times in smaller circles.  THAT if you are in a room with ten other people, trust me, there are ten ideas, ten opinions.  WHAT you will get and hear is a cacophony and NOT a euphony.  WHY?  That is human nature.  Very extremely rare will you hear one retort like, "I'm sorry I can't comment because I DON'T have any inputs at all"📌📌📌

Looking back, when I took that LEAP OF FAITH by taking that highly risky initiative to explore for career opportunities in Singapore, I can quickly count that at the very least, I manage to somehow influence either directly OR indirectly the lives and futures of at least four families whose paths have definitely been rewritten ever since each of the four people picked up the gauntlet and did NOT ignore the opportunities in Singapore, Southeast Asia's undisputed financial and economic hub [overtaking Hong Kong year-on-year in all performance metrices].  If I cared with WHAT others will care, I could have been stucked in a cave💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  I am tempted to look back [with nostalgia] in my college days WHEN I was often afraid [AS IN] of being judged by other people.  And to get out of my comfort zone, I pushed myself to join university activities like the university editorial board and that led me to a path walk WHERE I gradually realized that, 'HEY, NO ONE CARES' so why should I?  From that point onwards, I did WHAT I wanted to do, I acted on things I deem it right, and I came up with informed decisions by factoring-in all inputs.  Fast forward today, WHO CARES?  Damn dude.  Do your thing, do your stuff😀😀😀

What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?

What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?

How many times have we heard this very POPULAR expression of FRUSTRATION: 'THERE IS NO USE CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK'.  That's why, WHEN it comes to stress and anxiety, many times we are our own worst enemy.  So, What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?  We grip to events that we really need to let go of.  We have locked ourselves into a prison of HURT and yet we also hold the key.  ISN'T that a gross irony?  Furthermore, stress has been shown and proven in studies to be incredibly bad for NOT ONLY your emotional and psychological health BUT equally on your health.  BUT what's going on really?  When stress initiators never cease to slacken off from its frequency❓❓❓

BUT these days, we should heave a deep sigh of relief because experts have unraveled simple life hacks so we can let go of these pestering FRUSTRATIONS:

• LIKE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WERE RIGHT.  Things were going to turn out from bad to worse and you never ceased alerting everyone BUT nobody really listened.  Our FIX:  Let us remind ourselves that everyone makes mistakes.
• LIKE YOUR 'UGLY' BODY PART.  But hey, nobody is perfect.  Embrace your flaws instead

• LIKE THE JOKE THAT WENT TOO FAR.  And the worst part, you are the butt of it.  Take it like that person DIDN'T intend to take the joke too far.
• LIKE GETTING CUT OFF WHILE DRIVING.  Hey dude, whether you are in Bangkok, Mumbai OR Manila, reckless people are all over the road.  
• LIKE WHEN YOU DIDN'T GET THE CREDIT DUE.  And even worse when someone else got all the GLORY, hew.  Dude, BREAK FREE from the need to be approved by others.

• LIKE NOT TAKING THE CHANCE.  That seeming once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you missed out.  BUT have heard this a zillion times:  IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, SET IT FREE.  IF IT RETURNS, IT'S MEANT TO BE.
• LIKE when you said too much?  You try to catch your words BUT they have already fled from our mouth, oh oh.  BUT that happens even to the brightest
• LIKE when you were lied to.  Indeed, betrayal is brutal, period.  Like getting sucker punched.  BUT rather than punching back, catch them off guard by asking them what's going on in his life that caused him to do that?
• LIKE not keeping promises.  Shape up!

Our takeaway:  So, when pain, regret, anger and a sprinkling of crippling shame are creeping all over us, let us remember that the ugliest setbacks present AS the best possible opportunities.  Every single challenge you face in life presents us two options, namely:  you take it seriously and cry like a baby??? OR find the opportunity hidden within it.  Trust me, it's always there if you have the courage to find it, see it and nurture it.  To cap it all, stop being realistic because studies show that 97% of humans are in a brutal struggle against most others on a flat-playing field.  Yes, sometimes our friends may snigger but we will LAUGH LAST.  Meanwhile, let's retain that bandwidth to handle FRUSTRATIONS😌😌😌

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?  BUT hey, 'BALANCE' is hugely overrated.  Like when you want to 'BALANCE' growth and comfort?  You really need to decide in choosing one.  You just CAN'T have the best of both worlds.  In a lot more 'nightmares' I witnessed some people WHO even want to focus in nine to ten things ALL AT THE SAME TIME, whew.  Fast-forward, WHAT happened?  In the end, they lost all the time and energy without making anything happen.  BTW, BALANCE  adds to CONFUSION, contrary to misconceptions💴💷💵

Thing is, things are totally different in every season, in every timing.  Priorities CHANGE.  Focus CHANGES.  Even mood CHANGES.  And CHANGES become the universal law in every season.  And throwing a monkey wrench, BALANCE just cuts off CHANGE.  Like WHEN you CAN'T lose the value of every season by inserting BALANCE into it.  It just removes the 'flavor of progress'.  Thing is, you DON'T have to quit a thing just because it ISN'T your priority.  It's true money can be your PRIORITY in the beginning of every year.  BUT that DOESN'T mean you cut off family time just that📗📙📘

Same thing happens WHEN family becomes the PRIORITY.   You DON'T cut off money from your life.  You just evaluate the importance of things in your life.  You never have to quit.  You just got to manage the LEVELS.  BTW, even REST can be a PRIORITY.  Yes we all live in a hustle world.  That's cool.  There ISN'T any short of ambition, energy and vision.  Undoubtedly, REST is part of that PRIORITY thing.  If you are the guy WHO thinks sleep OR rest is an enemy to ambition, you got to get over this 'shit' from your head.  BTW, REST fuels up ambition.  Anything beyond work is all you need to give a better meaning to life and get back to track with a horse-like FOCUS.  Thing is, PRIORITIES seems to kill that 'TRYING' thing.  A lot of folks NEVER make it because they believe they are trying stuff.  BUT hey, you just make things happen.  DON'T be that 'average guy' WHO tries a hundred different things BUT eventually gets nothing done.  BALANCE is like trying EVERYTHING❗❗❗

And PRIORITIES?  It just puts your head into a direction and gets you the things done.  At any given time, there are thousands of thoughts going on in one's mind.  And that typical day will tell you that NOT nearly all those things listed in your  To-do List are done.  But if we share anything, it is having that mind fulI of thoughts, questions and even uncertainties💧💧💧

Our takeaway today?  Life is a BALANCING ACT, more often than we acknowledge.  And we are all walking on  tight ropes, BALANCING each moment, each day, each relation, each personal and professional equation.  And as we grow older and our responsibilities increase the list of things to BALANCE also increases as we are walking so many tight ropes simultaneously.  The eventual CHOICE we all face could be any form from the numerous ones, e.g. marriage vs job, job growth vs raising family, job progression vs. stability, health vs long hours, mental stress vs growth and this goes on and on.  Still FRUSTRATED WITH THE BALANCING ACT?  It's all PRIORITIES, period✅✅✅

There May NEVER Be A PERFECT TIME

There May NEVER Be A PERFECT TIME

While I am NOT an avid showbiz fan, in my country, one of the most famous couple recently 'UNCOUPLED'.  WHY?  From the grapevine, it says the famous actress decided to cut loose from the relationship because she has been waiting for 'concrete plans' from the actor for the past twelve years, whew.  Not earthshaking BUT There May NEVER Be A PERFECT TIME.  Who knows the actor kept waiting and waiting for that PERFECT TIME and before he knew it, twelve years have lapsed!  While this is showbiz stuff, are we able to relate to it?  HOW often we hear people have grandiose plans BUT end up getting stuck.  STUCK with WHAT?  STUCK waiting for that PERFECT TIME to chime-in, unaware that very likely, there is NO PERFECT TIME to unfold even the next donkey years💵💴💷

Thing is, there is NEVER a PERFECT TIME for you to take action.  BETTER TIME, yes there could be BUT PERFECT TIME?  C'mon.   Whether it is to launch a new project, to buy a new home, to change your habit, there will be BETTER TIMES when it is compared to the worst timings BUT PERFECT TIME?  You just need to acknowledge this harsh truth.  Heard of "I'm too tired", "I don't have the time", "I am not capable", "Now is NOT the right time".  This loop will go on and on and it will keep looping📗📙📘

Frankly, it is easy to come up with excuses, and justify NOT starting or initiating on something.  The longer you fill your head with rationalizations and empty excuses, the less time you have time to take action.  Indeed, it is damn easy to say, 'I will start WHEN I have more experience, more money, more time, more resources.  By this time next year, you will have a lot MORE excuses, promise, trust me.  It is a vicious cycle and once you get caught in the loop, it can be difficult to break free and do something meaningful you care about.  Frankly, I commiserate with [some] people [I'm sorry I have to adamantly declare that I am NOT one of these people] are living their entire lives without ever standing up and stepping out.  BUT it is exciting to witness the very rare few WHO dare themselves and step out of their personal bubbles to really initiate and push for a CHANGE💧💧💧

Too bad, most of us live with that stubborn illusion that we will always have tomorrow to do today's work.  We consistently hold on to this belief and keep procrastinating UNTIL work becomes that of a heavy burden.  And WHEN left unchecked, we will always default toward a more comfortable path.  Your comfortable zone provides a state of mental security.  You can understand WHY it is so hard to kick your brain out of your comfort zone.  BUT until when you'll get stuck in your comfort zone❓❓❓

Our takeaway?  It is true that very likely, when you plunge into that path OR option you have, you will face a different set of risks.  BUT hey, this explains WHY we are expected to do our due diligence [and that includes the prudent risk assessment].  Unfortunately, many people still peg risk assessment only to the workplace.  NO sirrrrrs, even in your everyday life, in your personal plans, risk assessment matters because THERE MAY NEVER BE A PERFECT TIME❕❕❕

[Quite] Effortless Habits To Ponder

[Quite] Effortless Habits To Ponder

We're done with the 1st quarter of 2024, so maybe it's time to say HELLO, HOW'S IT GOING [with regard those perennial NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS]? NOT to be a naysayer but many of us [including moi [many times in the past], got stuck with such NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS and then brush it off to RECYCLE and REUSE come the next new year and the next new year.  So, how about [Quite] Effortless Habits To Ponder?  Hoping that somehow, we will make some headway instead of getting stuck with the vicious cycle💧💧💧

Let's rattle off some [almost] effortless LIFE HACKS here:

• RISE WITH THE ROOSTER.  We are so spoiled with the alarm clock's SNOOZE button!  This is a sincere pleading.  Please forget SNOOZING
• UNSUBSCRIBE from those newsfeeds NEGATIVITY + FAKE NEWS!  Please HIT UNSUBSCRIBE and surround yourself with things that UPLIFT + INSPIRE you everyday
• MOVE YOUR BODY [with joy].  NO NEED to go to the gym. Walk every morning.  Stretch in the sun

• HYDRATE LIKE A PLANT IN SPRING.  Ditch those sugary sodas and fill your glass with water.  That should lead you through the day
• NOURISH DON'T PUNISH.  Hey, I'm guilty of this,  FOOD is FUEL, NOT a BATTLEFIELD.  As they say, a nourishing plate fuels your mind, body and soul, to leave you energized
• DECLUTTER both your space and your mind.  Clear space, clear mind, clear path

• WRITE like you're talking to a friend.  Journaling ISN'T about penmanship OR Pulitzer prizes.  It's about pouring your heart onto the page, untangling thoughts and witnessing your wisdom unfold
• LEARN A NEW THING.  Challenge yourself.  GET OUT of your comfort zone.  Take a [FREE] online course, to expand your mind, broaden your skills

• Say NO with grace, like a ninja of boundaries.  DON'T forget that you are NOT a human "YES" button.  Learn to politely decline requests that DON'T align with your energy OR values. PRACTICE
• GRATITUDE [even for the small stuff].  Trust me, this will NOT only feel others good BUT you will feel so good for making others feel good.

These simple life hacks are [QUITE] EFFORTLESS HABITS to ponder, dude😀😀😀

Deadlines & Distractions [a.k.a. DESTRUCTION]

Deadlines & Distractions [a.k.a. DESTRUCTION]

Deadlines & Distractions [a.k.a. DESTRUCTION] have always been our common nemesis in LIFE.  BUT hey, there's NOTHING we can do about those DEADLINES because DEADLINES are DEADLINES BUT how about DISTRACTIONS?  Surely, there is a bagful of ways and means we can do if we're serious and dead set to address DISTRACTIONS.  And BTW, that is NOT a typo because DISTRACTIONS and DESTRUCTIONS are 'Siamese Twins'💵💴💷

So, yes we do consider a task, demanding a sequence of efforts that must be completed within a DEADLINE.  BTW, effort is NOT contractible.  Workers would often get shocked with the opportunities they have at hand which involves COST of TIME and worse, they even get DISTRACTED from work itself.  BUT to be fair, this is NOT a sweeping statement.  NOT all workers do face this predicament.  Some [and probably many] are DISTRACTED LESS and therefore, they become more productive when compared to colleagues📗📙📘

So, WHAT causes the differences between two people performing the same task OR activity?  The most common reason here is that anticipation of DISTRACTIONS induces some people to start earlier as a proactive and precautionary measure.  So, WHAT'S our issue here?  The issue here is that we have a PROBLEM and that PROBLEM is that DISTRACTION💧💧💧

How often you felt like the task is too much OR that you DON'T know WHETHER you will finish it OR not.  The bigger the task, the more you tend to procrastinate.  And the more you procrastinate, the more you lose confidence in finishing tasks.  Well, procrastinating sometimes could help you think again before taking action BUT a lot of the time, procrastinating makes us avoid our own work, whooo.  It then makes you feel disappointed by your own dedication OR work.  Then, we start to question ourselves about WHETHER we are capable of finishing it OR not.  You might have found your passion and your ambitious goals.  Then, you face a problem WHERE it actually doesn't really matter right now BUT you already think about it too much❎❎❎

THEN, you start feeling overwhelmed and start thinking that "MAYBE THIS IS NOT MY PASSION'  Then you fall into a TRAP like "I DON'T KNOW MY PASSION".  You only need to start working right now.  You can start with WHAT you can do  You DON'T have to finish a project today.  You can plan it and start working on it in small pieces or phases.  Our takeaway today?  Start BREAKING YOUR GOALS into small pieces or phases so that you will be MORE LIKELY to PROGRESS.  Remember, we are focusing on PROGRESS, NOT results [because those results will be coming in later, right?] ✅✅✅

How's Your LISTENING SKILLS?

How's Your LISTENING SKILLS?

QUESTION:  Has there been a moment in our daily life when we decide to STOP moving and STOP the noise?  Unfortunately, NO.  For most of us, we're constantly moving, we're driving OR we're engaged with tasks and activities.  And when we're watching movies, sometimes, we're listening to it with our headphones and NOT satisfied with watching and listening, you remain fidgety, with your fingers busy on your smart phone, scrolling, browsing, sheer nonstop.  BTW, How's Your LISTENING SKILLS❓❓❓

BTW, do you know there is a complete guide HOW NOT TO IMPROVE your listening skills?  

And it's FREE.  BUT where does that lead you to?  BUT who wants to take that path?  I doubt it you want to regress, right?  So, can we dissect WHY, by nature, we seem to be constantly busy?  THAT tendency to be constantly ON THE GO or productive, filling every space with something useful or even entertaining📗📘📙

BUT WHAT IF we endeavor to be QUIET?  So, that we can LISTEN more?  Because definitely by being constantly in that movie or music binge and getting hostaged by social media, WHO else and HOW else can we LISTEN if we're constantly engaged with all multifarious activities EXCEPT LISTENING?  Please DON'T tell us that you can include LISTENING in your multi-tasking syndrome❓❓❓

BUT what happens if we try things out and something magical comes into fruition?  Then we will start to discover a new way of being alive and a deeper experience starts to reveal itself to us?  On the other hand, WHAT does it mean to be quiet?  Unfortunately. there is NO simple answer to that conundrum.  BUT not to despair because various studies led to some breakthroughs in improving LISTENING💧💧💧

So, WHY don't we piggy-back on the results of those studies which tell us that by slowing down for at least a few minutes, by refraining from moving around doing lots of things and refraining from a bunch of tasks on your smart phone BUT instead just sit OR come to some kind of stillness and slowness.  Studies tell us that your LISTENING skills will improve and that is GUARANTEED✅✅✅