Be Successful Versus Be Contented

Be Successful Versus Be Contented

One of those little-little noises reverberating just below the surface is where we should Be Successful Versus Be Contented enough?  And this is when we can blow this up to a bigger 'debate' because indeed, TRUE HAPPINESS is NOT found solely in material belongings OR even achievements.  In fact, LIFE can't be an EITHER/OR where we define SUCCESS as trapped in a rat race to keep up with others or fulfilled by sacrificing our outward SUCCESS to attend to our other emotional needs📗📙📘

BTW, achievements and satisfaction are two sides of the same coin.  It CAN'T be two different things to be achieved.  Our capacity for achievement is driven by our ability to form relationships and our own self-confidence.  And the more we are supported in life by having our WANTS addressed, the more we can then cultivate sentiments of CONTENTMENT💵💷💴

Experiencing HOW to feel CONTENTED [or fulfilled] is difficult if you HAVEN'T accomplished anything, so mastering the art of achievement is the first lesson in living an extraordinary life.  WHY don't we agree that this is our SUCCESS formula?  We are making dreams come true means mastering our achievement.  BUT achievement will only get you so far📌📌📌

Many people are unbelievably successful BUT still feel dissatisfied and unhappy.  It's like they CAN'T feel accomplished.  The MORE you become used to something, the LESS you appreciate it.  Psychologists did tag this as that 'LAW OF FAMILIARITY' but hey, this is NOT the way our life has to remain, right, if at all💊💊💊

What's our takeaway for today?  It's that we need MORE THAN SUCCESS in order to live a rich life.  We must live.  FULFILLMENT will only come WHEN we find WHAT makes us HAPPY, WHAT brings you joy, makes you satisfied.  Instead of expecting something and failing in that TRAP of FAMILIARITY, LET US APPRECIATE THAT IT IS ALREADY THERE❗❗❗

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES?

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES?

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES? Before we get tied up with this rather interesting topic, let us agree that by and large, an effective routine can help reduce stress which can lead to better mental health, more time to relax and obviously less anxiety.  BUT other than those, should we get stuck with ROUTINES📗📙📘

Now, let's paint common routine scenarios like someone who's so disciplined he did stick to his routines for several years which starts with his alarm clock waking him up 5:15am, then he grabs a quick bite of bread then chugs a bottle of water, then warms up and stretches for five minutes then hops on his bike for a 30-minute ride.  Then the bike's pedal gets broken.  He had to order parts and had to wait💎💎💎

Then, his morning routine falls apart, right?  His bike DIDN'T work so he CAN'T exercise.  He CAN'T exercise so he stopped getting up early.  He WASN'T going to exercise so why grab something to eat.  Then, he even stopped drinking a bottle of water, whew.  See that ripple effect when one segment of one's ROUTINE breaks down❓❓❓

Ironically, the 'IMPROVEMENT' ripple effect which focuses on improving one thing, no matter how small, naturally leads to improvements in other areas BUT the end result is the exact OPPOSITE.  Sadly, one's entire ROUTINE has fell apart.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  ROUTINES are often critical to SUCCESS.  Breaking a goal down into daily activities and then consistently performing those activities day-in day-out❎❎❎

Until something disrupts a ROUTINE, especially since the more rigidly follow a ROUTINE, the more likely a single broken link will disrupt the entire chain.  So WHAT's our fix?  Let us turn a ROUTINE into a PRACTICE.  So WHAT's the difference?  It is in the FLEXIBILITY, dude. One is about daily rhythm.  The other is a lifelong pursuit.  One can be ruined by something as simple as hitting the snooze button one too many times or getting called into work unexpectedly.  In a nutshell, the ROUTINE is something you MADE up whereas the PRACTICE is something you do.  Let's unshackle ourselves from the ROUTINES, dude✅✅✅

Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY

Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY

Who DOESN'T want to be HAPPY?  Of course all of us do want to be HAPPY no less simply because there's a lot to be said for being HAPPY.  It makes us better at work, healthier, likelier to have good relationships, and can even extend our life and since we've all experienced both being HAPPY and UNHAPPY, we know being HAPPY is much more fun.  So, why not Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY💵💴💷

Knowing that HAPPINESS is good for us WON'T make you HAPPIER of course.  If you're UNHAPPY, to begin with, thinking that you're missing out all the benefits of HAPPINESS can just make you feel worse.  Indeed, there are times in our lives WHEN it's normal to feel sadness and we shouldn't try to talk ourselves out of it📗📙📘

If you've lost your loved one OR you're going through a breakup OR you have lost your job OR have suffered another adverse life event, feeling sad is HEALTHY and just natural.  Conversely, if you've been UNHAPPY for a long time and DON'T know why OR you think you may be battling depression, it is smart to seek out professional counselling to sort things out💎💎💎

But alas, for many of us, HAPPINESS is a habit that we can cultivate.  That's because, thanks to evolution, the human BRAIN is designed to pay more attention to NEGATIVE thoughts and stimuli than POSITIVE ones.  It's worth learning HOW to pay more attention to the POSITIVE thoughts in our BRAINs and stimuli in our lives because our natural tendency is to downplay them.  Then, that just makes us UNHAPPIER than we should be.  So, till to date, many experts share that most common advice that we should endeavor to get our thinking become more POSITIVE and increase our HAPPINESS❎❎❎

Culling from experts, primero, they advise us to SELF-ASSESS if we're thinking POSITIVE.  According to the experts, the simple act of asking that question will help us start thinking more POSITIVE thoughts more often.  They advise as well that we memorize a list of HAPPY words because when we force our BRAIN to use POSITIVE words frequently, we make these words more accessible, more connected and easily activated in our BRAIN❗❗❗

Anchoring Your Roots

 Anchoring Your Roots

Quoting an anonymous writer, 'THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.  THOSE WHO ARE GOING THROUGH A CRISIS AND THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO GO THROUGH A CRISIS'.  And that's not debatable I guess as everyone must gone through STORMS in their life.  Name one who has NOT gone through STORMS?  Fortunately, the good news is that STORMS DON'T last forever.  Yes, they have a beginning, they have a middle and they have an end.  Anchoring Your Roots during storms is WHAT matters💵💴💷

Absolutely, there will be many more upcoming STORMS.  NOT that we're wishing for one BUT it's simply part of life's realities.  Indeed, no one amongst us is a stranger when it comes to STORMS.  YET, no matter how many STORMS we survive, it's hard to like them as they bring NOTHING but turmoil, destruction, and despair.  Whether we like them OR not, NO one can escape them.  We all have weather STORMS in our personal life, work life, relationships, health or finance.  They come unannounced and UNINVITED📗📙📘

So, since there's NO way we can run away from STORMS, WHAT can we do?  Primero, let us look at the positive side of STORMS because STORMS clear our path.  Can you recall a time if after a STORM passes, our life or even the skies are NOT clear?  Thing is, Peaks of challenges and valleys of darkness are inevitable in our journey💎💎💎

What really matters and what should tie us up are NOT the STORMS but it's really HOW we respond to it, handling them, containing them.  Second upside of STORMS is that STORMS make us stronger.  Just like our muscle strength develops with resistance training, storms are our life's personalized resistance training program.  The more STORMS we face, the stronger we grow.  After all, AN EASY SAIL NEVER MAKES A GREAT SAILOR❎❎❎

I can share my side as well as I did face STORMS many many times in the past and with humility, yes, I'm still very much around, akin to the LAST MAN STANDING but that's NOT my point.  Without the STORMS, I am quite certain I would NOT have been the man I am now.  I may have been battered, bruised, demoralized and down in the past BUT I manage to anchor my roots to face up the many STORMS in life❗❗❗

What We Gain From Pain

What We Gain From Pain

Who wishes for PAIN?  Absolutely NO one.  Whether PAIN is unbearable or NOT, PAIN is PAIN, regardless if it's physical, mental, emotional, or psychological.  Research studies show that because PAIN generally involves mind and the body, sometimes, therapies may have the capacity to alleviate PAIN, the lingering question is What Do We Gain From Pain💴💷💵

Studies also show that how we feel our PAIN is influenced by our genetic makeup, emotions, personality, and even lifestyle.  And it's also influenced by past experiences.  And if we've been in PAIN for awhile, our brain may have REWIRED itself to perceive PAIN signals even after the signals AREN'T being sent anymore.  At the Harvard Medical, they realized that techniques to manage PAIN actually benefited the person💊💊💊

Topping the list is DEEP BREATHING as it is central to all the techniques.  Moreover, the studies show that BREATHING facilitated to BREATHE OUT TENSION.  Secondly, an antidote to the stress response, which pumps up heart rate and puts the body's systems on high alert, the relaxation response turns down your body's reactions.  And after you close your eyes and relaxed all muscles, you can then concentrate on DEEP BREATHING💎💎💎

Meditating with guided imagery is another technique.  Breathing deeply will lead one to 'CALMING' music OR imagining a restful environment as that leads one to 'REFRESH'.  The next benefit that kicks in is MINDFULNESS when we pick up one activity, e.g. reading, walking in nature, gardening OR cooking, once you get immersed, MINDFULNESS kicks in📌📌📌

When we're struggling with whatever our PAIN is, we often tend to be fixated on WHAT we AREN'T able to do BUT POSITIVE THINKING kicks in WHEN we retrain our focus on WHAT we can do instead of WHAT you CAN'T will give you a more accurate view of oneself.  In a nutshell, regardless of the PAIN, there are calming ways so that that PAIN will NOT pin us down❗❗❗

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?  Or do you still want people telling you, "YOU'RE GORGEOUS, YOU'RE EXCELLENT, YOU'RE VERY GOOD" and so on?  It's true we all enjoy VALIDATION and we all enjoy appreciation UNTIL one day you realize that you've become addicted to these feelings.  And you realize that they just DON'T satisfy you, they COMPLETE you.  Certainly that was NOT conscious BUT the truth is you have become addicted to this sense of VALIDATION as if it were a drug you got hooked up to since childhood💴💷💵

It is AS IF then it was drilled in your head that those outward things in life are WHAT you need to VALIDATE you.  Eventually, you will develop a subconscious thought process that you CAN'T live without it because without it, you would think you DON'T even know yourself anymore.  BUT once you get it, you're on a HIGH.  A HIGH you then seem to obsess over because it then feels SO GOOD to your underappreciated soul.  It then CALMS you, it puts you AT EASE by confirming that you are VALID.  And if you DON'T get it, you yearn for it even more BUT at that point, our REALIZATIONS must sink in📗📙📘

A REALIZATION that you're yearning from the WRONG places.  A REALIZATION that you're yearning for the WRONG reasons.  A REALIZATION that you're expecting VALIDATION from the WRONG people, all just to get your FIX.  Then, you end up telling yourself that you need just a little bit this time.  You'll then settle for anything that reminds you that indeed you are VALID💎💎💎

Then, all along you forget that YOU ALONE, just as you are, is SO MUCH.  There's SO MUCH to you.  There's SO MUCH life, excitement, beauty and love to learn inside of yourself if you just take a second to appreciate it.  If you weren't so preoccupied with everyone else seeing it, maybe you could.  You can then learn to live without the constant VALIDATION and you can learn WHAT you've depended on them to tell you all this time✅✅✅

Our takeaway for today?  We need to LEARN that we are VALID.  We can show ourself the love, attention, and care we deserve.  The love, attention, and care we deserve because we are VALID.  And most importantly, we DON'T need anyone or anything to confirm it anymore.  Yes, you'll learn slowly BUT surely that this external VALIDATION ISN'T necessary to live, and that life is actually quite beautiful without it.  So, DO YOU REALLY NEED VALIDATION FROM OTHERS❗❗❗

Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

If there's a one-liner surely you have heard many times, it's YOU CAN'T Have Your Cake & Eat It Too but ironically, our thread right now is bannering Have Your Cake & Eat It Too.  At first, this sentiment is a bit confusing.  After all, WHY would you get the cake if you wouldn't plan to eat it anyway?  So, if the cake is yours, WHAT's stopping you from enjoying it?  BUT just like any good paradox, the devil is in the details.  The saying is a bit confusing because of a quirk in the syntax of grammar that leads us to read the sentence a bit wrongly💴💷💵

I'm sorry, I DON'T intend to turn our thread today like a grammar class BUT some slight touches just CAN'T be avoided.  WHY?  Because to say that Have Your Cake & Eat It Too highlights the paradox between WANTING versus HAVING.  In fact, WANTING and HAVING are often deemed as rivals.  They sometimes mean and work together BUT oftentimes end up butting heads and forcing us, the readers and end-users, to choose one or the other.  And that makes things murkier because once we get confused, the net result is that the resulting action we take can either be right OR wrong📗📙📘

The thing is, to HAVE and to WANT are desirable states.  When we HAVE something, it comes with security, predictability, control, and satisfaction.  And let's agree, many OR[ I think] everyone wants to be satisfied.  On the other hand, WANT is anticipation, desire, motivation, and pleasure.  WHEN we get WHAT we WANT, we experience something close to HAPPINESS.  And YES, many OR [I think] everyone wants to be HAPPY.  Yes, we can Have our Cake & Eat It Too💎💎💎

So, WHEN we WANT something, it reinforces the fact that we DON'T have it.  On the other hand, WHEN we HAVE something and are satisfied with it, we may NO longer want it.  Imagine the last time you were hungry.  You likely wanted food. Your mind began to summon up images of your favorite meal as you considered what you might eat✅✅✅

As that WANTING for food increases, so too does your desire and motivation to seek out a delicious meal.  So what's our takeaway today?  Sometimes, the irony of having what we want is that we end up getting MIXED-UP, akin to getting confused OR not having a firm decision.  Sometimes, IT'S ON US, IT'S US creating issues.  Have Your Cake & Eat It Too❗❗❗

Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

 Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

Mr Google defines Dopamine Detox as a process that involves FASTING from activities or pleasures that produce DOPAMINE so that the drive for quick rewards decreases.  Some people may do a BASIC Dopamine Detox which lasts for a few hours or days whereas others may go through a more extreme process that lasts months.   Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

Before going on, please allow me to clarify that whatever I'm sharing for now are coming straight from my opinion and NOT experience[s] because till to date, I DON'T see that I need to go on a Dopamine Detox, YET.  BUT everything starts within us to realize how much time [on average] do we spend on our gadget, our smart devices, on social media💴💷💵

But numerous studies resulted in common conclusions that Dopamine Detox activated his/her brain.  And the reason is just so obvious.  It's simply because they realize they got a lot of FREE TIME.  Second, it's because people COULDN'T rely on the many convenient features of our smart phones and devices.  Which means they had to be CREATIVE enough📗📙📘

And once their CREATIVITY kicked in, they had to find alternative ways to solve their problems that wouldn't have even arisen with a phone.  And that made them reflect on how people used to handle things before the era of smartphones.  And surprisingly, they realized that they accomplished a lot without the help of those smart phones and devices❎❎❎

Another realization that need NOT be debated was that they had LESS stress and MORE mindfulness.  Without that phone OR laptop, they couldn't stay in touch with people from their life.  And they felt that was a liberating feeling to NOT receive constant notifications and NOT have to worry about immediate replies.  Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

LATEST Damn Scam Scares

LATEST Damn Scam Scares

Courtesy of T-Mobile, I grabbed this infographics to magnify the fact that scammers are NOT stale or STATUS QUO players.  They tweak and tune their SCAM tactics well attuned to the seasonal calendar as it progresses.  And NOT to scare you all, early this morning, I was reading the Channelnewsasia piece about this super-scary sophisticated PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE techniques deployed and executed to a 'T' by these faceless virtual SCAMMERS.  Indeed, sharing these LATEST Damn Scam Scares📗📙📘

And while there is an unwritten rule NOT TO ACCEPT INCOMING calls from numbers not in your phone book, I beg to defer and disagree with that because, from my personal experience, I'd say roughly 2 to 3% of incoming calls [that means 2 to 3 out of 100 incoming calls] are indeed legitimate calls [although those numbers are/were NOT in my phone book].  Two days ago, I accepted an incoming call from an unknown number and the caller's accent sounded foreign to me [like an Indian lady]!@#$%?

At this point, you might get fidgety and ask me, SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?  Yeah, I did receive the call and indeed I was talking to a human [and not Chatbot AI] and straight up, she asked if I was interested for a 'side hustle' earning $$$$$$$.  My reaction?  Please send me your proposal via email.  And she insisted that she will send it via Viber.  VIBER indeed?  Think about it, why NOT via email❓❓❓

Good question.  WHY VIBER?  WHY not email?  Straight and simple answer.  Those probabilities of baiting you via viber instead via email is because it increases the risk of compromising the device you're using that time.  WHAT happened next? Nothing happened.  WHY?  Because that probable scammer knew it, NO WAY she can bait me via email channels❎❎❎

Back to the Channelnewsasia scam alert.  Scammers will use 'sophisticated PSYCHOLOGICAL techniques to exploit our deepest HUMAN VULNERABILITIES and bypass rational thought to tap into our own emotional responses'.  Trick samplings?  RANDOM CALLS.  CREATE SENSE of URGENCY, like bank account-related transaction, credit card about to be breached, a juicy offer about to expire, a final call for an overdue tax payable from the TAX MAN or even by building rapport with a casual talk.  Dude, be warned, scammers are more innovative than you think❗❗❗

To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

In today's globalized world of 'social proof', it is so easy for us to 'CONNECT' with strangers we meet over the internet.  Through a quick tweet or a 15-second snapshot, we can share out our problems with 'THE WORLD'.  You then tend to feel a SENSE OF FREEDOM and relief] that you've lifted the burden OFF your shoulders.  It's tru that sometimes, strangers can related to your problem[s] and voila, suddenly you realize that you got a 'CONNECTION'.  But hey dude, let's be REAL here.  WHAT are the chances of you meeting someone WHO feels exactly the way you do?  Statistical studies show that the probability is PROBABLY 1 out of 5000.  To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE📗📙📘

So, if you've got 10,000 IG followers, wow, you got 2 chances out of 10,000, whew!  This reminds me of this anonymous QUOTE which we did catch me: "YOU'VE GOTTA DANCE LIKE THERE'S NOBODY WATCHING.  LOVE LIKE YOU'LL NEVER BE HURT, SING LIKE THERE'S NOBODY LISTENING, AND LIVE LIKE IT'S HEAVEN ON EARTH".  This quote has inspired me so much that I DON'T have any words to explain it.  Back in my school days, I'll frankly admit that I was afraid of being JUDGED by people.  And to get out of my comfort zone, I decided be a 'working student, splitting my time, stretching my active hours to let both ends meet, so to speak💴💷💵

Along the way as I had to mature faster than I should, I started to think of the people WHO are currently in my life and those WHO used to be in my life.  At some points, they've discussed their own 'troubles' with me and I with them.  BUT at a later point, I realized that as much as I care for them, their problems are NOT mine.  Indeed, I realized that I do care for people's well-being, truth is, their problems are NOT within my purview or responsibility💎💎💎

Relationship issues, financial instability, etc, it's just time for each of them to take ownership of their own lives.  And as much as I love and care for them, ONLY they can choose to change it.  SURE you can complain and rant to the world about your issues BUT if you DON'T do something to improve your life, it will remain as terrible as it is❌❌❌

Oh Oh Oh, of all quotable quotes, I like this the most:  WHEN PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE THEY DON'T CARE, BELIEVE THEM.  What's our takeaway today?  Sure we can complain and rant to the world about our issues BUT if we DON'T do something to improve our life, it will remain as terrible as it is.  Let's BE HONEST, PEOPLE DON'T CARE❎❎❎