What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

Nope sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with Culinary Arts.  Instead, we're curious What's Your SECRET SAUCE in life.  Surely, regardless of the magnitude and volume of successes you may have achieved in life, you would [or SHOULD rather] know Your SECRET SAUCE.  That's your forte, your top strengths, your ace amongst your deck of cards💎💎💎

I did bump across some folks who had their various successes in life and when I prompted them for their SECRET SAUCE, they seemed so utterly innocent [and I do believe them] when they swore that they DON'T have the slightest clue as regards their SECRET SAUCE, if any.  I would then enlighten them that they do have💊💊💊

You might challenge me, do we really need to know what our SECRET SAUCE is, in life?  YES and YES, that's my loud answer.  WHY?  If you are totally unaware of your strongest cards in your deck, HOW can you leverage on your strengths then?  HOW can you piggy-back on your strengths and build up for your next challenging forays❓❓❓

On the other hand, you can play devil's advocate and argue that to spill out your SECRET SAUCE, you might be unduly exposing and compromising yourself to the world out there?  No sirrrrs, you DON'T wash off your linen in public, you DON'T need to spew out from A to Z every single strength you have, you DON'T compromise your next steps by screaming it out✅✅✅

Now, it should be fair enough to argue we ought to know our SECRET SAUCE because we could have not gone and reached this far, not without that SECRET SAUCE we have up in our sleeves.  WHY did I manage to have my run of successes?  WHY did Lady Luck seem to be with me in my forays?  WHY did I successfully weather those turmoils that hit me hard at various points in my past?  Allow me to credit all those to my SECRET SAUCE❗❗❗

When Your WHEELS START TURNING

When Your WHEELS START TURNING

Do we need our WHEELS for LIFE?  Absolutely YES.  Go over the long roads and highways to trek in our life.  How far can your life go and reach without having your WHEELS TURNING?  Figuratively speaking, your WHEELS IN LIFE are your own catalyst from within that will the motivate you to start and ignite the engine before you start stepping on the gas.  There are many real-life analogies wherein our parents, our mentors, our spouse/partners and all those who care for us would trigger us to position ourselves for our WHEELS to START TURNING💎💎💎

For most of us, the most common [and I'd say UNPOPULAR] problem that comes up early on is setting [in a NO NONSENSE approach] one's goals.  Admittedly, setting up our goals is already a BIG first step forward improving our life.  BUT for today's thread, we WON'T spend time on that dilemma of setting up goals.  Instead, we're assuming that one has set up the goal[s] and what preoccupies us now is really to have those WHEELS to START TURNING📌📌📌

But let's admit that following through to achieve what we've set out to accomplish can, at times, be daunting and challenging [especially during those days WHEN MOTIVATION WANES.  So how do we follow through those commitments when we DON'T feel putting up work❓❓❓

Admittedly, we all lose our MOTIVATION [from time to time].  So what's our FIXes? First off, please CALENDAR your goals.  You DON'T need Microsoft Office Tools for that.  Done that?  Start attempting to have those WHEELS START TURNING.  Make working toward your goal a habit.  Remember though that HABIT FORMATION is another small hill to climb, but let's reserve that thread for another day to tackle❗❗❗

Now, before we get into the freeways, set SMALL GOALS to build momentum.  In the F1 race, they are those PIT STOPS.  And as your WHEELS START TURNING, do track your progress.  You CAN'T go on a snail's pace.  And as you start to achieve those 'SMALL GAINS', do pat yourself on your back, then keep grinding till you achieve a solid milestone. Meanwhile, keep ensuring that your WHEELS KEEP TURNING✅✅✅

Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT?

Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT?

No sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with Math or Statistics at all. Instead, we'd like to spend time to ponder and ask  Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT, if at all, in your life.  There is an absolute certainty that in case you are unaware, indeed you have went through your INFLECTION POINT, that turning point that precipitated your direction, whether you are north-bound or skidding down south to your frustration.  Note that in our life journey, it is and will NEVER be a straight line💎💎💎

Reality is, our life is like a huge expanse of land peppered with land mines, those are our imminent inflection points, and it could swing from the best positive to the worst nightmare we can have in life.  Could be one hitting the grand LOTTO prize. Could be a young member of the family dying very prematurely.  Could be you at that workplace and come next day, your boss confidentially talks to you and you are one of the casualties of downsizing💊💊💊

Could be one who inherited a major property from his parents.  Could be a student who got the breakthroughs in his life when he was offered academic scholarship in a prestigious university.  Could be one losing his money in the world of cryptocurrency📌📌📌

In a nutshell. INFLECTION POINTS pop-up into our lives way outside and beyond our control and it covers the whole spectrum from the most positive INFLECTION POINT to the worst ever INFLECTION POINT.  Either way, surely, your life would have been impacted but that's beside the point.  What we are tasked is how to manage and contain negative INFLECTION POINTS and sustaining the gains of positive INFLECTION POINTS✅✅✅

The wasted opportunities are those times in our life when we reached through a specific positive INFLECTION POINT but for whatever reason, we seem to have wasted that opportunity by NOT leveraging on it.  Even the worst INFLECTION POINTS do offer us the opportunities to bounce back and rebound in life.    Missing such is really a huge waste because if you're down, you could end up in a much deeper morass.  So, either way, got to know your INFLECTION POINTS❗❗❗

Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One

Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One

Allow me to quote Paulo Coelho, the famous Brazilian Lyricist who became more popular with his international bestsellers wherein he was quoted Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One.  Due to the sensitivity of our thread today, allow me to clear up, up front that there is a huge difference between being a victim versus someone playing victim.  Being a victim of abuse, trauma, or other circumstances is totally different from PLAYING VICTIM, which we'll spend a bit of time for today's thread💎💎💎

PLAYING VICTIM involves some level of exaggeration or fabrication [and sometimes, manipulation].  Simply put, being a VICTIM means that you are actually in a situation where you are legitimately victimized or in the context of our thread today, are are a VICTIM of abuse or other circumstances.  However, being a VICTIM turns into playing the VICTIM when your VICTIM role is used to avoid responsibility, wallowing in self-pity📌📌📌

So, who plays VICTIM?  Honestly, anyone can. And this includes actual VICTIMS themselves.  But again, it is fine to be a victim especially if you've been legitimately victimized.  In fact, recognizing that you were a VICTIM is very essential for healing.  On the other hand. recognizing that you were a VICTIM is very important for healing.  On the other hand, PLAYING VICTIM is a totally different story that needs to be dissected⏳⏳⏳

But studies show that many abuse victims end up PLAYING VICTIM due to helplessness.  So, it's important to recognize that there are varying degrees and ways how one can play the victim.  And just because someone plays the VICTIM one way DOESN'T mean they'll do it in another.  In simpler terms, just because someone DOESN'T do anything to improve their situation DOESN'T mean they will manipulate others into doing what they want.  We need to be aware that some abuse VICTIMS could have picked up traits from their abusers✅✅✅

So, what are the tell-tale signs of PLAYING VICTIM? The most common sign of PLAYING VICTIM is blaming other people or circumstances for negative feelings or even some events happening in life.  You may end up blaming other people or circumstances for the unhappiness or lack of fulfillment.  OR we may hear blaming something OR someone when something negative happens or things DON'T go as planned.  BE WARNED of PLAYING VICTIM, YOU MAY END UP [being] TREATED AS ONE❗❗❗

At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD

At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD

No sirrrrs, although I am an avid chess fan, our thread today is NOT about Ajedrez, the game of Chess.  We have all felt stuck at some point in our lives.  Perhaps you feel stuck right now.  When that happens, it can feel impossible to keep moving forward towards your goals and plans.  As proven over and over again in any circumstances,  At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD💎💎💎

Maybe you're feeling a little stuck working on a project, or even a personal project like a house renovation or a business expansion.  Does this sound familiar to us all?  When that IDEA sprung up many months ago, we felt so 'gung ho' such that we were like monkeys and chimpanzees jumping vertically oozing with all that excitement NOT until when that excitement has simmered down, and now you're feeling stuck and maybe confused at the turn of events⏳⏳⏳

Or you feel 'trapped in a job' when in fact, not so many moonlights ago, you were so excited with your new-found job, which you thought is/was your 'DREAM JOB' but now it seems you're hitting a wall?  Or you could be stuck in a relationship which, not so long ago, you picked up the gauntlet and given up everything just for you to get the nod from your ;DREAM GIRL'.  Indeed, this is a major dilemma that should be fixed ASAP.  HOW?  Try to TAKE A STEP BACK.  Often, we try to get unstuck by pushing forward with sheer force📌📌📌

Try to endeavor accessing a different level of thinking by assessing your current situation from a new viewpoint.  Let's pause and ask ourselves, WHERE DO WE STAND NOW, WHAT GOT US TO THAT POINT, and WHAT IS IT YOU REALLY WANT?  When you try stepping back and look at things from a distance, you would start to see things from a much different perspective✅✅✅

Let's envision ourselves out there, deep in the woods, and seemingly lost.  If we keep moving forward, looking for our way out, we could panic and end up IN CIRCLES.  You could even head back the way you came from.  This is like 'ZOOMING OUT' for you to relook at your situation as a neutral observer .  AT TIMES, YOU NEED TO STEP BACK TO STEP FORWARD❗❗❗

Old Habits Are Hard To Break

Old Habits Are Hard To Break

Heard of any of these:  Starting tomorrow, I will cut down my carbo by 50%.  I'll quit smoking from today.  I will manage my social media time from ten hours to one hour everyday.  I'll stop eating junk foods including burgers and fries.  Guess, what is the average success rate across those  who set those game-changing goals?  The success rate is even below five percent, whew. Indeed, Old Habits Are Hard To Break not because our goals are a charade but simply because we get eaten alive by human frailties💎💎💎

I myself, I was guilty of this many times in the past but at some point, I confronted myself in front the mirror and I gave myself an ultimatum no less.  HOW?  I tried to identify CUES.  Something has to trigger a habit and a CUE can be anything.  Maybe the sound of alarm triggers you to hit the snooze button📌📌📌

Once you have identified the CUES, try disrupting things by throwing the BAD habits off track.  If the alarm CUES you to hit the snooze button, place the alarm clock [or your smart phone] at the other side of the room.  Trekking across the cold floor will likely disrupt that snooze habit.  Now, let's listen to those researches who recommend that we try to replace a BAD habit with a GOOD habit as it's proven to be more effective than stopping that BAD habit alone⏳⏳⏳

Then, KEEP IT SIMPLE as it's usually hard to change a habit because the behavior has become easy and automatic.  The opposite is true too.  New behaviors can be HARD because your brain has NOT taken over that new behavior yet.  Moving on, think LONG-TERM because HABITS often form because they satisfy short-term impulses, just the way chewing on your nails might immediately CALM YOUR NERVES✅✅✅

Lastly, PERSIST and PERSIST.  Various researches have shown that what you've done before is a strong indicator of what you'll do next.  This means established HABITS are HARD TO BREAK.  But here's a silver lining across the gloomy clouds.  If you keep at it, your new behaviors will turn into habits too.  All it takes is dogged determination and PERSISTENCE, and it works.  Yes, this is true:  OLD HABITS ARE HARD TO BREAK❗❗❗

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

Oh Oh Oh I hope our thread today is NOT that controversial enough to innocently hit some sensitivities.  I just thought, given what's going on in our life, it's worth talking why Beggars Can't Be Choosers.  And when we hear about it, we can't stop but think differently.  Yes, it is TRUE that many beggars are CHOOSERS yet we know they shouldn't be CHOOSERS💎💎💎

I remember walking the main streets of San Francisco, 'beggars' [or at least as they want to be] who were much more well-dressed [from head to foot] than me were begging for a dollar or two.  And that caused me to look at myself.  Do they look better off than me?  Of course at that point, they did because I went down from my Hyatt Hotel room to go to the next door McDonalds.  But for some reason, there are a lot of people out there who feel entitled to having all of their unreasonable demands met in the first place📌📌📌

But hold on, we shouldn't be talking about beggars at all because at the end of the day, they deserve all the help they need.  Instead, what I'm driving at is anyone who's still living a normal life but NOT enough for him/her to achieve a 'BREAKTHROUGH' in life.  These are the folks who are NOT a totally helpless lot BUT these are people who has a card to play OR an option to leverage on except that what's pitiful is that when someone has one OPTION, he would look for two OPTIONs.  When he's got two OPTIONS, he would look for three OPTIONS⏳⏳⏳

Let's over the job market.  According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average tenure of employees is 4.1 yrs but when you swing over to the Asian Region, for entry-level job roles, the average tenure of employees nosedives to 2 yrs, whew.  WHAT can explain that atrocious number?  Likely many in the market are not aware that BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS✅✅✅

What gave me a hint to have this as our thread today?  It was a feature item in CBS Sports with regard Miami Heat whose cinderella run continues till now, except that while their protagonists, Denver Nuggets have been rested for nine days, they got only 2 days before Game 1.  But again, as this adage goes, BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS.  Keep grinding though❗❗❗

DON'T Play With Your Food

DON'T Play With Your Food

Food anyone?  Yes we need that.  And I guess everyone does have his rice bowl when meal time comes.  So, what's the fuss?  Yes, have you seen instance when people Play With their Food?  And we're referring to the blessings heaped upon them.  A loving and loyal spouse/partner.  A happy family,  A rewarding career.  A burgeoning entrepreneurial foray.  Yet, along the way, their foot gets off the gas accelerator and they begin PLAYING WITH THEIR FOOD.  Does that make sense❓❓❓

It's just a fact of life that we deviate less and less in our thinking as we grow older but regardless, the power to mitigate is very much in our hands.  At an early age, we are taught/trained that there is a clear distinction between RIGHT versus WRONG.  On the playground, it is right to sit on the see saw but it's wrong to walk across it.  The square peg goes to the square hole, NOT the round one.  It's good to be polite and it's bad to play with food because that's NOT food is meant💎💎💎

Our human desire to be right will compel us to follow authority instructions until they become so second nature that we stop thinking actively what to do.  So, once we have all the food on the table, all those opportunities abound around us, those blessings we're reaping as fruits of our labor, we tend to 'lower our guard'.  And unconsciously, we tend to devalue the gargantuan efforts we exerted to reach where we are now⏰⏰⏰

Way past our childhood, do we still deserve to be reminded DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD?  But wasn't that taught to us through the years, especially from all the experiences we culled in life?  I can share this first-hand observation.  Someone wasted more than three decades of his life because when the sun did shine constantly and everything was constantly nice and dandy, he stretched things to the tune of becoming a frequent flyer [and even bragging he logged 24 flights in a year]❗❗❗

Have you come across folks who reached the very peak of their life but they're nowhere near around that vicinity now?  Obviously, that's NOT worth to be a news anymore BUT it ISN'T late for us to realize that we got to VALUE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW and leverage on it, exploit it to the hilt because there are NO guarantees that that round of harvest will still be for your picking when you wake up come next day📌📌📌

Is Your Regression A Blip or A Warning?

Is Your Regression A Blip or A Warning?

Is REGRESSION worth our 'talking point' today?  Yesirrrs this is very much worth it because everyone of us [and with NO exception] would experience REGRESSION at some point[s] in one's life.  If you are a consistent A-Lister in school, surely there are academic terms when your grades will skid.  At work, you may be a real workforce but there will be points where your performance will dip.  In your relationship with your spouse/partner, we cannot deny that there were moments in the past when one or both partners were NOT giving it all in their relationship.  So then, the ask is: Is Your Regression A Blip or A Warning❓❓❓

This is NOT a statistical blog but it behooves that we DON'T overlook [or IGNORE] that CORRELATION versus REGRESSION.  But again, this gets a bit complex because the experts claim that there are two kinds of REGRESSION, namely CONSCIOUS versus UNCONSCIOUS.  And since REGRESSION is a common phenomenon that occurs most often under stress, we all go through it but unconsciously though💊💊💊

When an executive feels stuck on a problem, they might REGRESS to infant behavior, even sucking and chewing their pen down to the cartridge.  When a spouse feels neglected, they REGRESS by throwiing a tantrum and threatening to take somethin away.  A freshman college student misses home and REGRESSES by cuddling with her childhood Teddy Bear.  Now, since this coping mechanism is so prevalent, we might as well consciously embrace and direct REGRESSION to our benefit.  Whether you breath work, consciously going back to high impact moments that influence how you behave can help⏳⏳⏳

if you perceive or observe some pattern or behavior you want to change, challenge yourself.  Is that a BLIP or just a WARNING?  If it seems just an outlier and a BLIP at that, that's fine, you can sweep it under the carpet.  BUT if that BLIP happens over and over again, hey that isn't a BLIP anymore, not an outlier.  That calls for an incisive NEXT MOVE📌📌📌

What happens then if such REGRESSION does not seem to be a BLIP anymore?  Next move is for us to FIX the problem.  If there is more a psychological issue that triggers that REGRESSION, so be it, find a FIX for that.  If your work was sloppy last month and today it became sloppier, you may need to seek professional help to figure out what's ailing you, if at all, and how to FIX it.  I've seen people REGRESS and they simply shrugged off their shoulder and claim it's a BLIP, not until that REGRESSION becomes chronic enough.  By that time, TOO LITTLE TOO LATE is NOT even a FIX anymore✅✅✅

Playing Victim?

Playing Victim?

Nope, we're NOT into drama and all those scripts BUT surely, you have heard of circumstances when one seems to be Playing Victim?  Frankly, Playing Victim is a tactic that lots of people use, either consciously OR unconsciously.  Sometimes, they do so because they believe that painting themselves as the injured party could benefit them in a certain situation or even, life in general⏳⏳⏳

And this all boils down to NEVER accepting responsibility for their actions, blaming everyone else for things that go wrong, and complaining that they're always the one who suffers even when that couldn't be farther from the truth.  BUT let's admit.  At some of point in our lives, all of us did Play Victim maybe once or twice, all because it's really part of human nature.  And the sad truth is that very few of us have that mental strength to accept responsibility for our mistakes every single time we make them💊💊💊

Having said all these, it can be frustrating and also a bit confusing to deal with someone whose default mode is the victim.  Now, here's an innocent question for us all:  HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE's PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD deliberately?  And how do we deal with it?  Too bad people can be Playing Victim in all kinds of different ways.  How do we figure out one who's Playing Victim❓❓❓

So. what's our FIXes for this Playing Victim kind of thing?  Numero Uno, DON'T ever get dragged into emotions.  Problem is, when people start Playing Victim, emotions become part and parcel of the circumstance.  So, how do you deal with it?  Remain cool.  Be 'poker-faced'.  Just a single misstep can drag you into that quagmire.  Numero dos, DON'T BITE the BAIT as you may end up hapless victim by the Playing Victim📌📌📌

Note that those playing victim do deal in judgments and 'shoulds' in interaction with others.  They tend to operate based on assumptions.  Worse yet, angry and victimized feelings seem to be bottled up inside and worse, that may even lead to depression.  Whether you may end up Playing Victim or ending as a prey of someone Playing Victim, be wary of this❗❗❗