Going From HOT To NOT

Going From HOT To NOT

Here's a giveaway question:  HOW many times in your life you were achieving, succeeding, winning?  I'll bet many times, right?  Now, HOW many times did you go from HOT to NOT, from HOT to COLD?  I'm sure it's more than a handful as well, right?  YES, supposedly, Going From HOT To NOT should neither grab the headlines nor even deserve a space in our daily thread.  So, WHAT gives?  Truth of the matter, the road to success is one we aim to follow all the time.  We identify actions we need to take, create a routine and set out on our path.  BUT sometimes, along the way, we hit a wall.  We may get emotionally burned out, lose motivation OR face life's inevitable challenges.  Regardless of WHAT happens, we need to make sure we 'STAY IN THE GAME' as far and as long as we can💧💧💧

So, probably, our common question, HOW can we go back on-track once we either get waylaid OR potentially falling astray?  Most life coaches will probably sing the same tune.  Create your 'LIFE LIST', that vision for your life.  So, WHAT are the things you want to do, have, become and give?  WHEN we have a picture of WHAT we want our life to include, we can use that vision to motivate us.  So, you might ask, have I WALKED THE TALK?  Yes dude.  I have put my life on a vision board, with concretized pictures of WHAT I want to accomplish in life, and even motivational words, phrases and expressions [all because I want the fire to keep burning in my belly]😁😁😁

If you ever feel going off-track, simply reflect on the person you want to become and the life you want to live, and the motivation comes back.  YES, one practical advice to us all is to GET ACTIVE because, to borrow this cliche, ENERGY BRINGS ENERGY.  True, we cannot impose to everyone to exercise BUT again, they say, move your body📗📙📘

I strongly agree that WHEN you move, energy gets created [and that encourages you to continue to act].  It can be as complex as a high-intensity workout OR as simple as a walk with your dog.  YES, how about that, WHEN you need motivation, take your dog for a walk and listen to a podcast all at the same time.  Enjoying the best of both worlds, enjoying the whiff of fresh air and expanding your mind as well, picking up new ideas and maybe getting that renewed excitement to buckle down💥💥💥

Oh Oh Oh, WHO's NOT a huge fan of routine?  Although you can still get bored of doing the same thing every day.  BUT dude, sometimes, we need to switch up.  You can still maintain a routine such as getting up at a designated time, doing your workout OR connecting with others.  Simply put, it is all a matter of changing your approach.  In fact, experts do advise us to change our routines because that helps reinforce our cognitive aspect.  YES dude, work to vary your routine💥💥💥

Let's take a practical example.  IF your goal is to work out for 30 minutes a day or more, choose HOW you want to accomplish that goal so that you DON'T get bored.  You can consider floating between yoga, high-intensity classes and walking.  For connecting with clients, you can incorporate different modes of communication.  You can talk on the phone, even set up video chats, meet face-to-face, write handwritten notes OR schedule get-togethers😋😋😋

Our takeaway:  That old adage 'YOU ARE EITHER GROWING OR DYING' couldn't be farther from the truth.  One of the best ways to keep momentum is to expand your mind and learn daily.  YES dude, even as we speak now, I am learning new things everyday.  With the power of the web and technologies, there is absolutely NO LIMITS except you and yourself.  Technology makes it possible to learn anything from new tools to self-guides and even DIY techniques.  YES I am subscribed to TED TALK, Harvard and Cambridge platforms.  YES dude, you can remain HOT instead of GOING FROM HOT TO NOT but the catch is, you got to go the Xtra MILE, dude❗❗❗

Calming Down The Noise

Calming Down The Noise

With tons and tons of stressors in life, it's NEVER a surprise [OR a shock] if we live in the midst of these stressful times.  Calming Down The Noise is our best way to handle things BUT to set expectations, CALMING DOWN THE NOISE does NOT mean achieving an eerie silence, as calm as the environs of the church sacristy.  The most and the farthest we can aim for is to contain and limit the NOISE, at the very least its negatively impacting implications to us, to our life.  True, life throws chaos at us on a regular basis, whether it's our finances, our relationships, OR our health.  In the work world, studies show that approximately fifty [50%] percent of people are BURNED OUT especially in industries like health care, banking and even amongst non-profit organizations📗📙📘

HOW do we handle all those chaos?  We just tend to keep pushing through, surviving but heavily dependent on our own adrenaline.  We end up overschedule ourselves in our calendars.  Browsing a personal calendar with multiple overlaps across each day. Sounds familiar?  Then, we down another cup of 'strong' coffee, then respond to another email, another escalation, another brewing headache knocking on the doors of your mail inbox.  If we stay amped all the time, we [WRONGLY] think that we'll eventually be able to get things done, get over the hump.  NO sirrrrrrrrrs❌❌❌

BUT all those things will do is burn us out, even drain our productivity and lead us to exhaustion till we hit the rock solid floor.  BUT psychologists claim, this is NO time to call it quits as there's another way, a much CALMER way.  Cultivating a more restful, relaxed state of mind DOESN'T mean we'll drown under all our responsibilities.  Instead, researches suggest that it will bring us greater attention, energy and creativity to tackle them.  And science also points to simple ways we can tap into that CALM state of mind to be more resilient in our chaotic lives💥💥💥

Supposedly, stress was NEVER meant to be a harrowing 24/7 experience.  Even psychologists claim that supposedly, we are expected to feel stressed in the five minutes right before we die.  And WHEN you are being chased in the savanna by a wild animal, your stress response is supposed to save your life as it mobilizes your attention, your muscles and immune system to get you quickly out of danger.  WHEN animals escape, they come right out of FIGHT or FLIGHT mode and into the REST and DIGEST' mode WHERE our own nervous system is working to replenish our own finite resources😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  I've been through stress a zillion times and I learnt that WHEN we're tightly wound up, we are more likely to react to situations than to respond with reason.  We even tend to perceive the world differently as stress makes us narrowly focused, preventing us from seeing the bigger picture.  BUT WHEN we're calmer, our attention becomes broader.  In fact, I did realize that during those times, I literally see more things [instead of getting blinded].  And WHEN we're CALM, we also tend to manage our energy with a better handle because we're NOT burning ourself constantly, spending days with our [sympathetic[ nervous system in overdrive mode.  And CALM helps us to focus on WHAT we need to do and get it done much more quickly.  HOW many times in the past did you go through a state of panic and ended up with a better handle of the situation?  At best we would barely survive such a situation.  Dude, CALMING DOWN THE NOISE is NO patsy.  You got to roll up your sleeves, deep your hands in the cookie jar and even jump into the fire❗❗❗

Either You Run The Day OR The Day Runs You!

Either You Run The Day OR The Day Runs You!

NO sirrrrs, I am NOT into any hyperbole OR exaggeration here.  This is TIME MANAGEMENT 101.  And the clock starts to tick NOT WHEN you wake up come next morning.  Instead, things start to click right before you hit the sack, WHEN you're setting and tweaking the alarm clock's trigger time, stretching the next morning's alarm as late as possible because you're wanting to stretch your sleep as long as possible.  BUT hey dude, that's the brewing problem.  HOW can you look forward to a productive next day if you're having that kind of mindset?  Either You Run The Day OR The Day Runs You!  NOT to scare you BUT that's the stark truth you're staring at because you CAN'T run away when next day kicks in📗📙📘

Supposedly, running and managing our day should be a no-brainer, right?  BUT what's that puzzling reality WHEN people feel like they're CONSTANTLY running out time?  YES, ironically, even for the time-conscious person, constantly checking the clock can be that distracting and it makes things harder to meet expectations.  And more often, we feel too overwhelmed.  People WHO feel inferior OR even unworthy may even over-engage and strive to please others.  They may even struggle to say NO to additional requests, WHICH then pushes them to be overworked💥💥💥

OR ironically, being in the flow may trap you.  WHY?  WHEN you're in flow, you get to be more productive and too focused BUT here's the catch.  You may also lose track of time.  I've been in that rabbit hole many times in the past, getting so immersed and engrossed with my task and before I knew it, I've gone kaput, running out of time.  From an analogy perspective, as they say, WHEN you're too close to the trees, you miss out seeing the forest, WHICH is the clock time itself.  NOW, there's a mile-long list of common causes WHY we run out of time BUT can you guess what is the perennial #1 mother of all root causes???

YES, you did hit the nail on it's head.  The #1 culprit is WHEN we DON'T wake up early.  True, the world runs on a 9-to-5 schedule.  As a result, morning people tend to get more done and wind up more productive by the end of the workday.  That ISN'T to say night people are inherently inferior because [BEFORE I get bashed by contact centers], studies show that 'night people ' can be just as productive as morning people [or even more so] BUT because the typical office and our cross cultures start at nine sharp, they simply AREN'T able to match morning people in terms of workday productivity.  And even if you consider yourself as a 'night person', try waking up a little earlier each day, working iteratively if necessary❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  Besides that wild debate being a morning versus night person, let's revisit MULTITASKING because studies show that only a very small percentage of our working population is proven to be good and effective in MULTITASKING.  And the rest of us [and that includes moi] have been pointed as damn awful WHEN MULTITASKING.  WHY?  WHEN we MULTITASK. we instantly diminish our productivity for each task, thereby increasing the total amount of time it takes for us to complete all those tasks.  WHAT makes matter worse is that many of us believe that we're skilled MULTITASKERS!@#$?

RESPECT Is A Two-way Street

RESPECT Is A Two-way Street

Rightfully, RESPECT does NOT need an extra space in our thread BUT given the rampant [and widespread] disrespect WHICH we bear witness from time to time.  BTW, NOT to turn a molehill into a mountain BUT in the social media world, the manifestations of DISRESPECT comes in many forms and shapes:

• DON'T reply to emails selectively, e.g. Follow First-IN First-OUT
• DON'T ignite frictions or conflicts by lurking around social media
• DON'T stretch social media if communications must be made F2F
• DON'T resort to  'ghosting' if you're ill-intentioned with your actions
• DON'T leverage on social media except for everything in good faith
• DON'T sow intrigues in social media in disguise with your message

Thing is, MUTUAL RESPECT should be constant and NOT a variable in every human interaction BUT WHEN one party senses DISRESPECT, that conversation can turn its ugly head.  It's like air.  You DON'T think about it and it ISN'T a problem UNTIL you DON'T have it.  And WHEN DISRESPECT enters a conversation, even if it's perceived, that conversation is NO longer about the content BUT about the defending dignity💚💛💜

Let's face it.  Without MUTUAL RESPECT, there will be NO healthy dialogue.  Much of the time, we have NO idea that DISRESPECT has even entered a conversation.  Let's say you think your supervisor is overpaid and unqualified.  Your opinion of him may be that he's NOT able to stand up to the executives and just ends up creating more work for you.  Because you're carrying around this DISRESPECT in your thoughts, even if it seems unconscious, it will creep out in intention and even unintentional ways😌😌😌

LIKE if ever your boss asks you to do something that you think he should do, and you roll your eyes, OR let out an inadvertent exacerbated sigh.  OR maybe you talk behind his back, and he hears about it.  Pretty soon, your boss is adding jabs and veiled insults to the perceived insolence.  The next thing you know, your relationship is about 'SCORING POINTS'?  Remaining in dialogue WHEN mutual RESPECT is at risk, starts with you and only yourself as you CAN'T control others❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let's face it, many of us [and I was guilty of this in the past] would SOMETIMES walk around in an unconscious daze, unaware of their own feelings and needs, blaming one's problems on other people OR even society OR situations beyond their control, WHEN in all reality, their frustration would disappear if they were better able to speak openly and in ways that help them get their needs met.  YES dude, RESPECT IS A TWO-WAY STREET❗❗❗

In Pursuit Of Something

In Pursuit Of Something

Everyone has his various pursuits in life [for whatever reason OR motivation].  In truth and in fact, WHAT and WHEN you wake up and gravitate towards can influence the trajectory of your life.  Some people strive for SUCCESS.  And that SUCCESS may be in the form of status for their family and friends to marvel over, which by human nature is pretty normal.  That stuff about us In Pursuit Of Something📘📙📗

YES, some may pursue something that makes them HAPPY while others may merely seek out a career and existence that they consider meaningful.  YES, these three pursuits can intertwine and even work together as driving forces.  From a personal perspective, though, I always believed, with both my feet firmly on the ground, that WHATEVER your core pursuit is has a major impact on your life and HOW it plays out.  At times, our pursuits may be seemingly mundane, like, should we live within the big city, OR at the suburbs OR at the countryside?  BTW, when it boils down to these choices, generally, people hardly choose suburbia.  Instead, they mostly just fall into it.  As some sort of checklist agenda, they might draw a fence and a 45-minute commute to the city💎💎💎

Perhaps, that desire is still 'baked' in that idea down deep.  And WHEN we call our lives as generally HAPPY, ironically some of us end up spending most waking moments of it dealing with struggles, pain, annoyances, name it, and that includes a general sense that things are NOT quite as good as we'd like them for them to be.  Problem is, some of us end up taking that butcher-knife approach to the definition of life💦💦💦

And everything starts with that BIG LIFE definition, comprised of our hopes, dreams, the things we'll be doing once we finish our current task and the people we think we'll be once be finally rich, beautiful, famous OR otherwise able to escape from our current situation.  WHEREAS that definition of SMALL LIFE, comprised of the nearly infinite number of day-to-day moments that are often either filled with endless discomforts OR completely missed through our absorption in thoughts about the past, future, WHAT we'd rather be doing, and literally anything else besides the experience that's sitting in front of us💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Almost all of us to strive to get from life to life.  BUT here comes those multifarious DISTRACTIONS.  Food, YouTube, TikTok, Netflix, name it.  And it's true, sure enough, they work, making us laugh, cry, feel less, feel more and in general, allow us to escape from the hum-drum and discomfort of our day-to-day lives.  BUT let us NOT miss the opportunities to be IN PURSUIT of things that are meaningful enough in our life, dude💥💥💥

Where Your Journey Takes You, It's [REALLY] Up To You!

Where Your Journey Takes You, It's [REALLY] Up To You!

Here's a giveaway bonus question to everyone.  Can you guess HOW FAR CAN YOU GO [in your life journey]?  C'mon dude, you can be a low-risk guy BUT I enjoin you to grab that chance and answer that question [only to yourself though].  To entice you to do so, I'll share you my own answer.  I can go as far as I want on one condition.  As long as that destination is feasible and realistic.   Where Your Journey Takes You, It's [REALLY] Up To You!!!

SO HOW?  Two simple words.  SET GOALS!  And it has to start NOW, as in NOW!  Obviously, before you SET GOALS, decide as to WHAT you want to achieve in life.  Separating WHAT's important from WHAT's irrelevant OR even a distraction.  NOW, let's get both our feet back on the ground.  Many people feel AS IF they're adrift in the world.  They work hard, BUT they DON'T seem to get anywhere worthwhile.  Heard this several times:  I'VE BEEN GRINDING [and kicking my ass] BUT nothing seems to progress!@#$%?

NOW, let me dig deep from my distant past.  A key reason that they feel that way is that they HAVEN'T spent enough time thinking about WHAT they want from life and HAVEN'T set themselves formal goals either.  After all, WOULD you set out on a major journey with NO real idea of your destination?  Likely NOT, dude.  SO HOW?  First, consider WHAT you want to achieve and then commit to it.  Set SMART [Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound] goals that motivate you and write them down to make them feel that concrete and tangible.  A common recurring lapse by so many?  They have ambitious and overflowing goals BUT it's all stuck deep inside their minds, whew.  Goal-setting is a powerful process for thinking about ideal future and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of your future into reality.  That process of setting goals helps you choose WHERE you want to go in life💥💥💥

By knowing precisely WHAT you want to achieve, you know WHERE you have to concentrate your efforts.  You'll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you to go astray.  Few times in the past, I asked people [WHOM I knew up close] as they seemed idle almost everyday.  Their common retort:  'I'M WAITING FOR AN OPENING IN DUBAI, HONG KONG OR WHEREVER', whew!@#$%?  If that's one's mindset, you're a living dead waiting to go kaput any day now❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Setting goals seem so casual that's NOT worth discussing BUT frankly, setting goals may seem that simple and easy if you take this structure approach:

• First, create that 'BIG PICTURE' of WHAT you want to be
• Second, break it up into smaller and milestone targets
• Third, craft your overall plan that is detailed enough, very specific [using ACTION WORDs, ACTIVE VERBs] and comprehensives from end-to-end.  

YES dude, you can be your own project manager because WHERE YOUR JOURNEY TAKES YOU, IT'S [REALLY] UP TO YOU❗❗❗ 

Thriving To Overcome Negativity

Thriving To Overcome Negativity

A one-off NEGATIVITY last year and another similar moment six months OR a year down the road is quite understandable. BUT WHEN the frequency escalates, that's WHEN even water at room temperature could shoot up till it's simmering. Thriving To Overcome Negativity can seem tough because we tend to view the world through our mental attitude.  And if that attitude seems predominantly NEGATIVE, sadly YES it can impact everything, including our health, even our career, family and even beyond that.  Furthermore, NEGATIVE thinking can have that spiraling effect that attracts NEGATIVE thinking💥💥💥

BUT you might ask, do we have a glimmer of hope so that we can gradually [because definitely, this CAN'T happen overnight] train ourselves over time on HOW to think by adopting and embracing even the most basic tenets of being POSITIVE.  NOW, we CAN'T be better than the recognized lifetime coaches WHO counsel us to have a daily NEGATIVE THOUGHT TIME [a.k.a. NTT].  Apparently, a paradoxical strategy to gain control over our NEGATIVE thinking is to commit to 10 minutes a day ruminating and reviewing them over and over again. They advise that NEGATIVE THOUGHT TIME [a.k.a. NTT] must be done ten [10] minutes and it must happen everyday💦💦💦

Oh YES, much as we refill, reload and refresh things in our life, we are counselled to REPLACE those NEGATIVE thoughts.  We DON'T overcome NEGATIVE thought patterns because that is NOT feasible.  Instead, we replace them as for most of us, those NEGATIVE thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways.  BUT we need to be incisive by detecting WHEN that NEGATIVE pattern starts to shape up [before it gets too late]❎❎❎

And once we detect that potential pattern, you need to take an explicit [and NOT an implicit] action that you're indeed recognizing and acknowledging that that is the pattern you want to change.  BUT more than just the intention itself, talk to yourself, WHAT is it you want to change from that point in time?  And once you did identify it, choose a different behavior, one that serves your goals.  Oh, I heard this from the experts as well.  As some of us tend to be prone to over-thinking, we are encouraged to WRITE INSTEAD OF THINK.  Their studies show that we need to write down each NEGATIVE thought that pops-up.  Somehow, writing versus thinking helps purge the thought out, and when you can see the words on paper OR a screen, it becomes easier to make sense of it and move forward😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Instead of being in reactive mode, ending up fighting NEGATIVE thoughts, can we intentionally reach out for better feeling thoughts.  One powerful way to do that is to speak [out loud if you can] to WHAT you love, like and appreciate.  Even the smallest niceties will matter LIKE, 'I LOVE THE WAY THE COFFEE TASTES TODAY' or 'I LIKE THE WAY THIS CHAIR FEELS AT MY BACK'.  YES dude, reach out for the relief, you'll find it. With finality, THRIVING TO OVERCOME NEGATIVITY should be at the top of our totem pole, dude❗❗❗

Are You A 'FLASH IN THE PAN'?

Are You A 'FLASH IN THE PAN'?  Better be NOT.  For alignment, let's do a lookup with Mr Google's definition as it describes something that was successful for a short time BUT was NOT repeated.  Swinging back to our own lives, you may NOT be guilty of being that FLASH IN THE PAN but probably you did witness various manifestations in life.  LIKE at work, a mediocre worker showing off his productivity and efficiency just once BUT going back to mediocrity the rest of the way.  OR someone WHO seems inconsiderate and insensitive in a relationship but had a FLASH IN THE PAN once when he manifested that one-off softness BUT that was all.  OR it could be you being so wasteful of your time except once WHEN your time management was superb📗📙📘

To be fair, more often than NOT, manifestations of that FLASH IN THE PAN is unintentional.  Likely, it's NOT even premeditated.  It is NOT WHAT we do once in a while that shapes our lives BUT WHAT we do consistently.  Many of us are able to set goals and create a plan of action to achieve them.  Some of us also start taking actions based on the blueprint of the action plan.  However, many of us will stop after quite sometimes.  For various reasons, things decelerate💧💧💧

Sounds familiar, ISN'T it?  For instance, I could decide to lose weight.  Then I choose to get up early, go for a walk every morning, exercise and start eating healthy.  I may even begin these activities BUT then something happens and I am NOT able to continue.  Maybe, I get busy OR something important comes up OR I simply lose interest.  I may start with the whole cycle all over again till the time I again remember to do it❎❎❎

That should make us all realize, CONSISTENCY is really that important.  In order to achieve the desired weight, I need to exercise regularly and NOT once in a  blue moon.  This is more so true for almost every other goal OR outcome we wish to achieve in life.  Doing something consistently and NOT just WHEN you feel inspired and motivated to do it becomes extremely important.  You might have heard that famous Hare and Tortoise story where the hare could NOT win, having a lead on the tortoise.  On the other hand, the tortoise with his persistence and consistency, carried on and gave his best.  Imagine if tortoise would have stopped in the middle without finishing the race.  WHAT helped the tortoise win the race😋😋😋

Our takeaway:  CONSISTENCY is the formula for us to be focusing on every task at hand without losing focus of our long-term vision.  WHEN we do something regularly, we get feedback.  That feedback will help us to change course OR at least tweak OR fine-tune things to improve.  In other words, CONSISTENCY is therefore all about repetition.  It's about repeating the same actions [and that includes our habits and rituals] over and over again, gaining feedback from these actions and adjusting them accordingly to help us stay on track as we thread along our journey.  In this case, we DON'T need to be a FLASH IN THE PAN dude!@#$%?

Those SECOND CHANCES!

Those SECOND CHANCES!

NOT really a boring one BUT I remember that Christmas Carol movie of Scrooge wherein he gets a SECOND CHANCE and gets to see HOW he blew his chances WHEN he was young and HOW he'll die a lonely death if he keeps going the way he is.  And then he gets converted by his SECOND CHANCE experience and only learn his lessons that the ONLY really important things in life are family and community.  Those SECOND CHANCES📗📙📘

YES, indeed, SECOND CHANCE stories are an interesting phenomenon.  To the best of my recall [and even my knowledge], per se, no one gets a SECOND CHANCE in life because in truth and in fact, that DOESN'T happen.  Once we fail OR fall flat for one singular chance, that chance will NEVER be replicated.  There could be semblances WHEN a new chance arises BUT that is a different chance altogether💥💥💥

BUT let me qualify things here.  Sometimes, a next chance that comes may indeed be unique BUT in some ways would approximate an earlier chance we either missed OR flopped.  WHEN we're given that ANOTHER CHANCE, whether it is at work, in life OR in love, you may promise yourself that you'll do better BUT to forewarn you, it may be likely hard to maintain the motivation and momentum we want to happen✅✅✅

YES, in real life, you thought you lost your love BUT you DIDN'T.  OR you thought you'd get terminated at work BUT instead you were given another chance.  OR you had a biopsy and it was benign.  At that moment of reprieve, you're likely to think, even if you're an atheist, thank GOD!  And then you promise yourself that you're going to do better, be kinder, be tougher, OR work harder OR less hard, live healthier OR simply give yourself a break before burnout happens😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  The issue here [over and over again] has been this.  HOW do we sustain motivation?  YES, how about making a modest resolution.  DON'T declare to lose 20 pounds OR be a more romantic partner OR become the outstanding employee you want to be OR amass yourself with wealth!@#$%? Instead, temper your goals and anytime you can UP THE TEMPO if the stars start to align again. Meanwhile, develop that gratitude for your reprieve especially if it was something serious, you doubtless will feel grateful.  THOSE SECOND CHANCES❗❗❗ 

Transactional Versus Transcendental Relationships

Transactional Versus Transcendental Relationships

YES, this is a no-brainer as we all know WHEN a stuff is tagged as TRANSACTIONAL.  Kind of a one-off thing.  And I'll safely guess that most of us will be inclined to admit that their relationships with friends and relatives [and that includes family members] are Transcendental, WHICH Mr Google defines as that connection that is beyond the normal range of physical human experience, something that goes deeper than just touch or sound.  NOW, let's rethink things over.  HOW cocksure are we that all our relationships NOW which we deem as TRANSCENDENTAL are indeed TRANSCENDENTAL???

A minor mix-up here is that we tend to codify things as simply either black OR white.  While indeed that those stuff we get involved in the groceries and supermarkets are of course transactional, we tend to lump all our other relationships [with work colleagues, business associates and ALL OTHER relatives as TRANSCENDENTAL].  WHICH is intrinsically flawed because those most of those relationships at work or business are purely coincidental, i.e. you happen to relate to that colleague because either of work OR business and NOT because of something deeper.  In brief, those relationships are superficial enough, hence they should be tagged as TRANSACTIONAL as well💧💧💧

WHEREAS, everyone agrees that WHEN a relationship becomes either OR potentially TRANSCENDENTAL, it will be work OR a work-in-progress towards achieving a mutual goal that is deeply rooted and this is where love as a variable gets into the equation.  What sets apart TRANSCENDENTAL relationships is that at its infancy stage, WHICH psychologists frame around the first two years, the relationship becomes easy and almost effortless✅✅✅

And WHEN that first two [to even three] years would lapse, kaboom, that's WHEN things start to pick up and become dicey.  Those are the times WHEN partners will have to rethink things over and YES, this is one of the hardest pills to swallow for many.  Even as a layman, many times I did hear people complain that love should be that easy and IF it is hard, it probably is NOT healthy OR the partner may NOT be the correct person for him or her❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  It should be NOT difficult for us to have a consensus that in a big chunk of our journey in life, more often than NOT, even such TRANSCENDENTAL relationships are a work-in-progress.  WHAT we often miss out here is that there is that existing 'battle' between one's desire to provide agape love and yet make sure one's ego needs are met at the same time.  Call it love's tug of war BUT for brevity here, let us NOT mix up TRANSACTIONAL versus TRANSCENDENTAL relationships because the latter is something you do for someone else, NOT something you do for yourself😌😌😌