How's Our PEOPLE-PLEASING?

 

HOW's our PEOPLE-PLEASING?  IF you're a PEOPLE-PLEASER, you might be known for doing WHATEVER it takes to make others happy, right?  And although being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you emotionally depleted, stressed OR even anxious.  Before the kitchen sink is thrown upon me, let us agree in defining WHAT a PEOPLE-PLEASER is, that is, a person WHO puts others needs ahead of his own.  This type of person is attuned to others and often seen as agreeable, helpful and kind💥💥💥

The downside of these all is that studies have proven that PEOPLE-PLEASERS would often have trouble and difficulty in advocating for themselves, WHICH may then lead to that kind of harmful pattern of self-sacrifice OR worse, self-neglect.  In Psychology, they have associated PEOPLE-PLEASERS with a personality trait called SOCIOTROPY, that manifestation of feeling overly concerned with PLEASING others and earning/securing their approval [call it CONSENT] as a way to maintain or even level-up their relationship, no matter if it's even a platonic one. NOT to scare you BUT pscyhologists claim that this behavior can be a symptom of a mental health condition❌❌❌

Some of the tell-tale signs that we're a PEOPLE-PLEASER?

• WHEN you just CAN'T SAY "NO" to people
• WHEN you keep thinking WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
• WHEN you feel guilty WHEN YOU SAY 'NO' TO PEOPLE
• WHEN you agree to things you REALLY DON'T AGREE WITH
• WHEN you want people to LIKE YOU and get their approval too
• WHEN you're constantly apologetic telling people I'M SORRY
• WHEN you're ready to take all the blame even if you're faultless
• WHEN you neglect your own needs due to PLEASING PEOPLE
• WHEN you always run out of time because you prioritize others
• WHEN you take the blame even if you're faultless or blameless

BUT more than just shortlisting these most common manifestations, WHAT are the COMMON CAUSES or triggers of being a PEOPLE-PLEASER?

• INSECURITY - Because we're worried people will NOT like us if we DON'T please them?
• PERFECTIONISM - Sometimes, perfectionism goes overboard, way and beyond, whew!@#$%?
• POOR SELF-ESTEEM - Sometimes we end up pleasing people as we DON'T value our own
  
  Our takeaway:  Having heard all kinds of perspectives, my take here is that motivation to help others can at times be a manifestation of altruism, WHERE one may genuinely want to make sure that other people have the help they need.  BUT in other cases, PEOPLE-PLEASING may turn its ugly head for one to feel validated OR liked.  Ironically, by making sure that people are either happy, satisfied OR PLEASED, they will feel AS IF they are that useful and valued, NO THANKS TO BEING A PEOPLE-PLEASER!!!