Yes, Comparison Matters BUT.....

 

YES, comparison matters BUT the big and huge MISS is that the comparison is being done wrongly because what boils down is that those comparisons should be baselined to our own selves.  HOW were we yesterday.  HOW will we be today.  And HOW will we be by tomorrow?  BUT the thing is, human evolution has indeed left us with the need for social validation.  We humans tend to seek improving our status, WHICH is well reflected in our ego, reputation and even our place in the hierarchy.  Apparently, today's world amplifies that COMPARISON.  Social media and all kinds of metrics drag us into COMPARISONs📗📙📘

BUT WHAT happened to our internal comparisons?  Wanting to surpass others and be validated can motivate us to achieve greater things, reaching greater heights BUT problems arise WHEN we sacrifice our values just to outdo others.  And WHEN we prioritize the external over the internal, psychologists claim that at that point, we tend to lose the very essence and instead end up handing over control of our life to others [which is pitifully ironical].  BUT in reality, the greatest satisfaction WON'T come from outperforming our neighbor, our friend, our colleague BUT it is from outperforming our very own selves💧💧💧

Here's a very basic question to us all.  WHO defines our own success?  WHO lays down the parameters and metrices to measure WHETHER we're successful OR not?  WOULD we rather be the best person in the world BUT everyone think you're the worst?  OR will be rather that worst person BUT everyone thinks we're the best?  Billionaire investor Warren Buffett was well quoted WHEN he said:  IF YOU LIVE BY EXTERNAL COMPARISON, YOUR AMBITIONS WILL BE SOCIETY's.  IF YOU LIVE BY INTERNAL COMPARISON, YOU DECIDE WHAT SUCCESS MEANS [and NOT OTHERS]💥💥💥

Instead, Warren Buffett advises us to reorient our lives toward internal comparison.  That way, success WON'T depend on WHAT others think.  NOR will it change with trends.  NOR can it be bought with tons and tons of LIKES from your social media followers.  And WHEN we live based on internal comparison, our only 'mission' then is to be a better person today than yesterday and look forward to be better tomorrow than today!!!

Our takeaway:  One solid complement to Warren Buffett runs this way:  One of the defining characteristics of Buffett is that he lives by his OWN SCORECARD.  It's NOT just that he does the right thing BUT that he does WHAT is right for him.  Swinging back to our own lives, it should NOT be that huge of an ASK that we should stop comparing ourselves to others BUT instead, let's set the bar and raise the bar based on HOW we performed yesterday versus HOW we perform today versus HOW we will fare come next day?  Raise the bar, you can, but your thresholds should be baselined from your last performance.  NOT bad to tighten things if WHAT matters most is our own self-improvement💚💛💜

How's Our Distractions Going?

 

Have we ever wondered WHY quite a few times [OR maybe many times] we're either experiencing slippages in our tasks to be done OR we're simply left behind in terms of timelines.  LIKE what's needed last month was hardly completed a month after?  LIKE the report due for client submission yesterday will only be sent a day after?  LIKE  a basic need at home gets bought only today after a heated domestic altercation📗📙📘

YET, the mother of ironies is that with technology having creeped into our daily lives, notifications and reminders are all over the place.  In the past, you've got to be seated in your office to receive those notif's.  OR if you're a senior executive, your P.A. would have plastered multiple, overlapping colored post-it notes around your work desk.  These days, you can still be snoring in bed BUT notif's would have harangued you❎❎❎

Despite all those tools and aids, coupled with your random thoughts, it's NOT surprising these days to hear someone being overwhelmed [call it BURIED] with a backlog of chores as everything else seem to slip through the backstage.  BUT hold on. DON'T be so fast to be guilty to blame yourself.  Studies show that more often, it's NOT really our fault because apparently, our brains are wired to chase every little shiny thing that crosses its path.  Apparently, our brain does NOT have that filtering mode yet???

BUT alas, there are some low-hanging fruits we can leverage on, to name a few:

• Those HIDDEN TIME KILLERS - Experts say that it takes 23 minutes to regain focus after being distracted, whew.  Can you imagine you're performing one task estimated to take 20 mins and every few minutes, your attention gets caught by those endless smartphone
• Those NEGATIVE EMOTIONS - WHEN those 'NEGA' stuff take over you, IT'S OVER
• Splitting your focus - MULTI-TASKING often holds up our progress as you tend to do one too many tasks [like Superman]

Rightfully, distractions should be the least of our concerns BUT in reality, it's one of the worst 'wild cards' hitting our lives day-by-day.  WHY?  Because, firstly, many of us are NOT consciously aware that those distractions is more than just a menage to our lives.  Secondly, for those WHO do recognize it, they simply shrug off their shoulders as it DOESN'T seem to matter at all.  And for those WHO are both aware and conscious of its impact, some of us would hardly lift a finger to RIGHT THE WRONG, so to speak.  So dude, HOW'S OUR DISTRACTIONS GOING???

Not Too Late To 'RIGHT THE WRONGS'

 

Allow me to share herein EN TOTO [from Medium.com] datelined 08.31.2025.  90% OF MEN WASTE THEIR PRIME YEARS DOING THIS [hold your breath folks, although the following extracts are NOT my own words, I fully subscribe to it because it CAN'T be farther from harsh realities [WHICH I was guilty before too].  Your 20s and 30s are the most dangerous decades of your life.  Your life comfort comes from the possession you keep instead of the chances you take💚💛💜

Most men spend those years [in their 20s and 30s]:

• CHASING CHEAP THRILLS
• SETTLING FOR MEDIOCRITY
• THE INTERRUPTIONS IN THEIR LIVES START TO DOMINATE THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE

From any dimension, sounds like a wake-up call.

The activities of watching watcing NETFLIX, playing video games and scrolling through endless content DON'T provide relaxation BUT instead steal away your time.

• People spend an average 2.5 hours each day on social media platforms, which amounts to 38 days of LOST TIME annually
• Every hour wasted is an hour stolen from your future

From Medium.com, here's the recommended FIX:

• Set a 'DISTRACTION BUDGET' to control your daily mindless content viewing to 30mins
• Replace scrolling with a skill [e.g. 1 hour of coding instead of 1 hour of TikTok]
  

PARTYING EVERY WEEKEND.  Oooops, hanging out at bars ISN'T 'LIVING'.  It's burning your prime energy on empty calories and hangovers😡😡😡

The FIX from Medium.com:  Adopt the 50/30/20
Rule.  Simply put:

• 50% of weekends:  REST and PLAN
• 30% socialize with a purpose [with mentors]
• 20%  let loose [BUT set spending/drinking limits]

Admittedly, many years back in my 20s/30s, I was one of those GUILTY ones but thankfully, in time, I came back ON-TRACK.  YES due, it's NOT late to RIGHT THE WRONGS!!!

Sure NOT, You're GOING FOR ALL THE MARBLES?

 

Sure NOT, you're GOING FOR ALL THE MARBLES?  Thing is, in our daily lives, WHEN we're running in that kind of 'autopilot' mode, it's nothing less than going through the motions, often leading us to get emotionally unstuck.  YES absolutely true, everyone of us does feel stuck in life at some point [admittedly, I got stuck in life more than just once before].  MAYBE from an unstimulating job.  MAYBE from an unfulfilling relationship.  MAYBE call it indifference.  UNTIL you ask yourself, WILL I GO FOR ALL THE MARBLES???

BUT here's the glimmer of hope.  We can stop that kind of feeling stuck by figuring out WHY you're feeling that way in the first place, right?  And thereafter, initiate some tweaks here and there, initiate initial  minor changes to improve yourself either mentally, emotionally OR even physically.  BUT before we get embroiled with this STUCK stuff, WHY do we get stuck in life?  Frankly, difficult times OR life's challenges can have you feeling like you've lost your sense of direction.  From NOT getting enough rest to facing that unprecendented Covid-19 Pandemic, burnout can make us feel stuck and unsure WHERE to run.  And WHO can blame us WHEN at times, we momentarily stop and ask ourselves:  WILL I GO FOR ALL THE MARBLES?  There's a wild card uncorked by recent researches WHEN they came up with that 'self-sabotaging' behaviors'❌❌❌

WHETHER it's about our career, our business forays OR even our relationships, psychologists claim that we sometimes engage in that unexpected 'self-sabotaging' behavior WHERE we end up doubting our self-worth and even capabilities.  To compound matters, WHEN we live with mental conditions like depressions OR anxiety, they may add up to our feeling of being stuck😡😡😡

WHAT surprised me was this coined question from the experts:  WHAT'S YOUR WHY?  According to the experts, without forging our own path, we could likely end up going with life's current , WHICH may lead to us getting stuck.  Call it situations that seem to be way beyond our control [and often times, we have used this as a ruse [more than that an excuse] that the situation was BEYOND OUR CONTROL and therefore, there was almost nothing you can do then.  Seriously?  WHEN we should empower ourselves to pick up oyur oars and map out our path BACK TO GREEN😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  YES and YES.  WHEN we kind of feeling stuck, that tells us to GO FOR ALL THE MARBLES.  WHY?  That's a situation WHERE, whatever we do, we just got NOTHING TO LOSE.  You may be focusing on your day by day WHICH in some cases is a great way to manage stress and yet, perspective is WHAT may help us to choose that path back on track.  In our project management practice, we call it the BACK TO GREEN plan [if your project status is either in AMBER OR RED].  So, dude, if you're GOING FOR ALL THE MARBLES, you know WHEN to go all-out for it!!!

Kensho, Anyone?

 

This is very new, very foreign to me, NOT until recently WHEN I stumbled across KENSHO, that ZEN Practice of seeing your true nature.  Before we ask if this makes sense today, do you ever feel like you just need your world shaken up a bit?  YES, sometimes this can indicate you need some kind of realization OR enlightenment in your life.  MAYBE things have been kind of dull and mundane OR that you generally feel kind of stalled OR 'stuck'?  OR perhaps you've recently undergone a big life change, a sea change in life OR maybe you've been on your own personal journey for some time now📗📙📘

To take a lift from the pages of Buddhism [WITHOUT really espousing Buddhism as a religion BUT more as a philosophy], the first ZEN experience of enlightenment is called KENSHO, which in Nihonggo, literally translates to "SEEING NATURE".  NOW, here are motherhood questions I myself initially asked myself:  SO, WHAT DOES THIS EXACTLY MEAN?  AND HOW CAN WE OBTAIN IT?  Kensho experts tell us that we often view ourselves as "I" and as a being separate from everything else and that a KENSHO experience involves the realization that there is really no "I" BUT instead, that the process of thinking brings forth the idea OR illusion of "I" as it derives from our own perceptions, feelings and memories💥💥💥

To borrow the exact words of KENSHO experts, it is defined as that 'ZEN EXPERIENCE OR ENLIGHTENMENT WHEN ONE'S OWN NATURE IS SEEN FOR WHAT  IT IS".  And we are told that once we've experienced it, we can further expand and grow upon it, leading to further enlightenment OR 'awakenings' so to speak.  I did exchange notes with those who practice Yoga and I heard many times that this experience usually arises after an intensive [and NOT a token one] meditation OR in the technical jargon of KENSHO experts, they coined it as "introspective practices".  However, some have said to have quick moments of realization leading to that enlightenment we hope no less💚💛💜

Despite all these coinages and jargons, let's dice and drill it into the simplest terms.  KENSHO can be best realized via its very three tenets and foundations namely:

• TEACHING - WHILE most of the teachings come from Buddhism, it is for us to practice and nurture it in our life journey
• PRACTICE - One of the most common practices on the path toward enlightenment OR KENSHO is meditation

Our takeaway:  Much as our communities are so deeply wired many levels deep, let us consider taking a pause, hitting the brakes and preferably lifting our car's handbrake if only we can find that time to take a deep breath, inch closer to nature, listen to the slightest ripples of peace and calmness as we search for that solitude and space to be with our own persona and find that most genuine enlightenment we deserve.  KENSHO anyone???

An Uphill Climb Can Lead To A Steep Descent

 

Nope sirrrrrs. I WON'T comment on that ill-fated Air India Flight from Ahmedabad to London where 241 out of 242 were killed.  BUT instead, let's take some time to look at our human inclinations of harnessing gravity for that speed and flow.  BUT again, conquering tough climbs takes more than just grit BUT the effort builds up the power needed even as it demands focus.  The biggest challenge we frequently face in life is HOW to stay safe [especially WHEN fatigue creeps in].  NOT known to many of us, the downside of UPHILL CLIMBS is that it can lead to a STEEP DESCENT, whoa💧💧💧

Unfortunately in our life, it takes  multiple [probably zillions] of rides that will constantly push us to our very limits so that's WHEN our endurance becomes the 'game changer' because the likelihood is we'll either succeed OR fail, depending as to HOW will the end result be.  And mastering those multiple rides that run through the most rugged terrain can be extremely challenging and anyone LESS prepared OR ill-trained to face those kinds of challenges will be having NO less than a doom-fated journey ahead.  True, every ride is a victory worth celebrating regardless WHETHER if it's a new path, a new distance, OR even just simply sticking AS PER PLAN💥💥💥

Very much akin to biking, building up that habit really takes time even as you gradually embed that level of discipline you need to ingraine deep within your own system.  And once you get acclimatize with the landscape, we are expected to have a better feel of the terrain, including its challenges and rewards, and even leading us to figure out the 'best lines' through those obstacles.  That concept of situational awareness, pattern recognition, decision-making and adaptability are the ingredients as we take that UPHILL CLIMB!!!

Without dampening our hopes, it is imperative that everyone is consciously aware of the pitfalls of that UPHILL CLIMB because in a worst case scenario, that may lead to a STEEP DESCENT.  Of course, I WON'T cite that ill-fated Air India flight from Ahmedabad to London as an example because that flight had hardly climbed up WHEN it suddenly went into a STEEP DESCENT, a tragedy that shatters logic and reason❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Rather than having our spirits dampened by that threat of a STEEP DESCENT, psychologists have conceptualized that "UPHILL ADVANTAGE" which reminds us that even solo climbs [like those hikers to Mt Everest] can be transformative, ultimately making a person much stronger, a more capable leader once he reaches the crest.  True, he might be alone in that UPHILL CLIMB BUT the rewards will be unprecedented notwithstanding that very slim probability that IF and WHEN worse comes to worst, that UPHILL CLIMB can lead to a STEEP DESCENT.  BUT such is life.  LOW risk equates to LOW rewards while HIGH risk equates to HIGH rewards dude😌😌😌

Seizing Opportunities!

 

SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES has always to happen via the right and acceptable means.  Otherwise, as the old cliche goes, THE END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS.  Allow me to share the Quora.com post by Pranshu Tiwari:  During a robbery in Zimbabwe, the thief shouted to everyone in the bank:  DON'T MOVE.  THE MONEY BELONGS TO THE STATE.  When a woman lay provocatively on a table, the thief shouted:  PLEASE BE CIVILIZED.  THIS IS A ROBBERY, NOT A RAPE.  WHEN the robbers returned home, the younger thief  [WHO had an MBA] asked the older thief:  BIG BROTHER, LET'S COUNT HOW MUCH WE GOT😡😡😡

The older thief replied:  YOU'RE STUPID.  THERE'S TOO MUCH MONEY, IT WILL TAKE FOREVER TO COUNT.  TONIGHT THE TV NEWS WILL TELL US HOW MUCH WE STOLE.  After the robbers left, the bank manager told the supervisor to call the police but the supervisor said "WAIT LET'S TAKE $10 million from the bank ourselves and add it to the $70 million we already embezzled!@#$%?

The next day, the news reported that $100 million had been stolen from the bank.  The bank robbers counted but only found $20 million.  Furious, they complained:  We risked our lives and only got $20 million?  And the bank manager took $80 million?  LOOKS LIKE IT'S BETTER TO BE EDUCATED THAN TO BE A THIEF!  Meanwhile, the bank manager smiled, relieved that his stock market losses were now covered by the robbery. Ouch, this is called SEIZING THE OPPORTUNITY!@#%^?

On a serious note, WHY are crows, chimpanzees, elephants, rat and even opposums are famously noted for being very sharp in figuring out and even SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES!!!  Swinging back to our lives, much as we are all self-driven by our own self-motivations towards achieving our goals, there are many times in our daily lives WHEN even positive 'wild cards' a.k.a. OPPORTUNITIES would pop-up in the midst of the most unlikely circumstances and timing.  It's then up for our taking dude!!!

Our takeaway:  Regardless of your intellectual potentials and even your standing in society all rolled into one, OPPORTUNITIES are NOT limited to a privileged few.  It's an even playing field out there.  It's for us to SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES as and WHEN they arise.  WHAT becomes key is our swiftness to validate each OPPORTUNITY and make a 'lightning quick' decision if an OPPORTUNITY is worth SEIZING pronto dude😁😁😁

Results And Outcomes Matter [and NOT Efforts]

 

YES YES yowwww, RESULTS and OUTCOMES MATTER [and NOT efforts].  So many studies have covered and deep-dived as to why making RESULTS and OUTCOMES matter the most.  In the simplest technical terms, it is defined as that process of using incentives [and even disincentives] to promote sustained activities that lead to change and improvement.  And if someone offers resistance to the glimmer of probabilities for change and improvement, then RESULTS and OUTCOMES won't become talking points at all💚💛💜

In the NBA world, much as it is the world's premier basketball league, in reality, NBA is a huge business.  For 2024 alone, it raked more than US$ 11.4 Billion in revenues and that's excluding the earnings of the ballclubs WHICH DON'T fall under the purview of the NBA's clout.  And the star players?  if they become injury-prone OR their performances dip, WHEN it's time for contract extensions, WHO cares to give them an offer sheet to be signed off?  That's WHAT happened to Jimmy Butler to whom the Miami Heat ballclub refused to offer that extension, all because RESULTS and OUTCOMES MATTER.  And at that time, Jimmy Butler was injury-prone!@#$%?

A fourthnight ago, the New York Knicks gave its coach Tom Thibodeau his pink slip.  WHY?  All because its GM Leon Rose gave a curt explanation that their organization was focused for a championship.  Whew that was NOTHING less than baloney because if every NBA ballclub will buy that line, we will see 28 or 29 coaches being fired every year because every year, there can only be one winner, one champion.  BUT obviously, this train of thought reeks with lots of holes we CAN'T plug❌❌❌

BUT dude, do we care about the NBA business?  Hell no.  WHAT we care is your own life, my own life, right?  WHAT MATTERS is that in our life, RESULTS and OUTCOMES MATTER, more than anything else.  Verily true, we would see people pounding and beating their chest because they exerted herculean efforts in pursuit of their specific goal.  And before you know it, people are into those KAMPAI's and celebrations, all because of their "A" for efforts in their own pursuits.  BUT hold on, WHERE's the RESULT? WHERE's the OUTCOMES?  Those are the very stuff that matter [and NOT efforts dude]✅✅✅

Our takeaway: That's the land mine planted and peppered in almost all the roads we travel in life. Even WHEN giving the credit WHERE it is due, we should never lose sight that it's the 1st place OR bust.  It's the championship OR bust.  It's success OR bust.  No middle-of-the-road here dude.  Because we should be driven in our momentum, focused and non-compromising that we will settle for NO less than RESULTS and OUTCOMES because they matter [and NOT just efforts]😊😊😊

Dodging A Bullet

 

DODGING A BULLET is no mean feat.  Less than a year ago, an American sniper almost killed President Donald Trump BUT by sheer luck and miracle all rolled into one, President Trump DODGED A BULLET WHEN that bullet simply grazed through his ear.  Months back, that Air India flight bound for London crashed within 30 seconds after takeoff, killing 241 out of 242.  The lone Indian survivor was seated right next to the emergency exit.  BUT the question is, HOW often should we expect to DODGE A BULLET?  DON'T even hope for it dude📘📙📗

From a philosophical perspective, life is really fundamentally chaotic.  I came across that documentary of the Stoics WHO believed that the universe operates according to its own logic, indifferent to our desires.  And that WHEN we stop expecting that life is to be fair OR the universe follows a script, the thing is, we can only focus on WHAT we can control💜💛💚

And this is WHERE that role of probability kicks in.  And here's the cold and hard truth.  Luck is often just that probability dressed in fancy clothes.  And statistically, some people are simply born into circumstances that increase their chances of success.  I remember experts calling this as the "MATTHEW EFFECT', that idea which peddles that the 'the rich get richer'.  If someone starts life with a head start, that is, good health, wealth and access to to good education, they are more likely to achieve success even with less efforts💧💧💧

And they say that 'non-prayers' might not be that 'LUCKY' from a cosmic perspective because they're just beneficiaries of a system that already works in their favor.  Meanwhile, those of us praying might be trying to overcome indemic and systemic disadvantages through sheer willpower and hope.  BUT here's WHERE it gets interesting.  Studies in quantum physics suggest that our thoughts and intentions can indeed influence reality.  The 'observer effect' as an example, shows that simply observing something changes its behavior.  so, WHILE privilege and probability play a big role, your mindset and energy can still shift the odds, if ever we're in tune them.  Sort of stars aligning in our favor💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Having heard all these, the paradox of luck says that effort meets ease as life often rewards those WHO work smart, NOT hard.  And non-prayers AREN'T necessarily lazy, BUT it's that they just operate differently.  They trust themselves, embracing uncertainty and remain open to serendipity.  On the other hand, prayers often tend to over-exert themselves spiritually, trying to force outcomes.  BUT dude, this universe we live in does NOT work on deadlines OR those to-do lists.  Trust it OR NOT.  Either way, you'll end up exactly WHERE you need to be [all because of your efforts]💥💥💥

GENUINESS This Christmas!

 

Long ago, CHRISTMAS was for Christians and Christians, period.  BUT through the years, that has been debunked.  Let's admit it, CHRISTMAS as an eventful season has been embraced across cultures, countries and even religions [of course, we respect the right of worship for each religion].  BUT otherwise, it's really heartwarming that the spirit of CHRISTMAS has been this impactful📗📙📘

I remember many years ago, WHEN I was about to spend CHRISTMAS for the very first time in Singapore, that morning of CHRISTMAS, I walked into the office of our Managing Director and presented him my simple CHRISTMAS gift.  And it almost floored him because he was totally flabbergasted because for a Singaporean Chinese like him, CHRISTMAS was just another day in the calendar.  BUT alas, here I was, totally oblivious that I was about to spend my very first CHRISTMAS in a foreign land💧💧💧

Fast-forward today, my personal take is that regardless of our faith and culture, CHRISTMAS can be celebrated across as long as there is GENUINE happiness, GENUINE forgiveness, GENUNINE acceptance and co-existence amongst us all.  Besides all the festive celebrations and gift-giving, let us hope and pray that GENUINENESS should envelope all over us every step of the way💚💛💜

For a couple of years, I had this apprehension that all the glitters and shine of the CHRISTMAS holidays was wearing off.  And yes, there was always so much to do.  Everyone of us would have suffered OR got inflicted with various severities of pain and worse, even wounds.  BUT what will be most heartwarming is that WHATEVER pains that may continue to linger within us, that PAIN should wear out and eventually dissipate.  And let us leverage on that GENUINENESS to pervade and permeate every move we may initiate NOT just this CHRISTMASbut even the months and years after💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Wherever we may be living now, let us just to continue embracing unconditionally this spirit of CHRISTMAS regardless of our culture and faith.  And much as I can dip into the deep reservoir of adjectives, I'll settle for that more meaning of GENUINENESS because at the end of the day, let's hope and pray that GENUINENESS will continue to pervade our hearts and minds because that's the very essence of CHRISTMAS.  MERRY CHRISTMAS to you, your family and loved ones🎍🎉🎊🎅