Visszanyal A Fagyi [The Ice Cream Licks Back]

 

I am neither a linguist nor an ardent student of languages but skimming through today's news wires, allow me to borrow this Hungarian quote:  VISSZANYAL A FAGI [THE ICE CREAM LICKS BACK].  You can buy Cellato, the most expensive ice cream OR even midstream Haagen-Dazs BUT it all boils down to the same Hungarian quote, THE ICE CREAM LICKS BACK💚💛💜

Hungarian this may be, BUT this quote runs deep across our life.  Let's start with FINANCIALS.  If you are now awash with $$$$$$$ and you're spending like there's NO tomorrow, would you expect your tomorrow to be the same as today?  Absolutely you're totally wrong if that's your train of thought because to spend frivolously can only go so far before it breaches that threshold, that POINT of NO RETURN.  We've heard a global sportsman successful in his sports WHOSE total earnings of US$ 750 Million ranks him as the 22nd all-time when ranked with all global sportsmen.  YET, just last month, he came out of retirement and is now in the midst of wrapping up his training for his return championship bout on July 20th.  If you hear his spiel, he came back from retirement 'FOR THE LOVE OF THE SPORTS'.  That's hogwash, baloney rubbish💧💧💧

That brings us back to the weight carried by the Hungarian quote VISSZANYAL A FAGI [THE ICE CREAM LICKS BACK].  Let's move our samplings from financials to relationships.  If someone is guilty [enough] of disrespect and hurtfulness in a relationship, surely that will NOT just cause a dent in a relationship.  Sooner if NOT later, a breakup is NOT far fetched to happen.  I've witnessed first hand WHERE the other spouse/partner simply walked away, catching his 'abandoned' ex-spouse/partner 'high and dry'.  Surely you have heard OR witnessed those narratives.  Throw away the feelings of regret OR guilt.  Let's just go back to the Hungarian quote VISSZANYAL A FAGI [THE ICE CREAM LICKS BACK].  From relationships, let's go back to health.  HOW many of us [OR at least people WHOM you know] WHO are wantonly abusing their health these days, with excessive eating, with heavy alcohol, and even chain-smoking.  We are NO experts BUT would you agree that the Hungarian quote resonates again in those circumstances???

From financials to relationships to health, let's move over to career.  HOW many narratives have we heard WHERE a person realized he is in the wrong calling, vocation or career?  BUT you might ask, WHAT could have caused them to be off-track?  Probably, during the job hunting days, they signed job offers on the dotted line for jobs WHICH was NOT WHAT they really wanted BUT simply signing off for $$$$$$ considerations.  UNTIL, before you know it, he was in that job for years and years, only realizing of late that he ended up spending years in a job that was farthest from his interest.  The worst part in that narrative is that he realized he was [and still IS] off-track too late for him to change course at that point in time.  We can rattle off on and on numerous phases in our life WHERE much as we like and enjoy 'ICE CREAMS', later if NOT sooner those times WHEN we did 'swoon over heels' with the ICE CREAMS, eventually that ICE CREAM LICK BACK [and by then, it may be too little OR too late for us to make a move, to change courses or at least to pivot💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In the shortest words, we should be reminded that in life, we need to be extra and consciously mindful of the potential consequences of each of our actions and WHERE there is a need to do some 'balancing act', we need to endeavor in striking that balance between PRESENT enjoyment versus our FUTURE well-being as this should be our thoughtful approach to decision-making [rather than take that 'impulsive' way for the sake of immediate gratification.  Apologies for being blunt here but I'll still hang on to the Hungarian quote VISSZANYAL A FAGI [THE ICE CREAM LICKS BACK]😡😡😡

NEVER Rely On Luck!

WHEN was the last time you heard about LOTTO?  That was WHEN someone bagged the $100 Million jackpot.  WHEN was the last time you heard about BMW?  That was WHEN someone won the raffle's top prize.  BUT WHAT becomes mind-boggling is some of the Paris Olympics athletes WHO went over to the podium to receive their medals, many of them were tagged as LUCKY@#$%!? Just because the winner won by a close shave of 2 seconds, of 0.1 inch in the pole vault OR high jump events.  NEVER Rely On Luck!!!

For someone WHO did NOT have that exalted 'cakewalk' in life, even as we speak now, I can humbly admit that LUCK ISN'T WHAT got me WHERE I am today.  No sirrrrrrs.  I'm NOT beating my chest because my own successes may pale in comparison to many more success stories out there.  BUT if there's something I have to admit, it is something far more practical and easily attainable WHICH enabled me to be WHAT I am today and that's all because of PREPARATION.  WHETHER it is in our personal life OR in our business forays, the end result is NOT your burden to bear BUT it is being PREPARED.  Perfection in the moments leading up to WHATEVER decision you're making is your own burden to bear❎❎❎

WHILE the outcome may NOT be in your own control, the actions you take leading up to that point are absolutely up to your own discretion.  WHEN you take the time and energy to PREPARE, you become ready for the unexpected.  You become hyper-focused and are able to respond in a much heightened state of functioning.  Those days WHEN I was active in the job market, once a headhunter has scheduled me for a face-to-face discussion [there were NO Zooms & Google MEET those days, hehehe], it was NOT sufficient for me to have a thorough deep-dive of the role's job description.  BUT way and beyond, I'll do my due diligence and research about that prospective employer, its core business, its industry, the footprint of its operations and presence and most importantly, I ask myself, how can I be that vehicle OR tool that can create a positive impact to the organization once I have settled down in that possible job role✅✅✅

Translating things into actionable concrete terms:

• Let us continuously CULTIVATE an A+ work ethic - Nothing beats PREPAREDNESS from within.
• Let us NOT hesitate to ask for HELP from others - Leverage on your helpline, your family for one.
•  Anticipate potentials - Mapping your strength and your preparedness together, find your potentials
• NEVER leave your fate to chance, NOT to variables WHERE you DON'T have any control, because by then, you'll be doomed to fail

Our takeaway: Eventually, YES you will cross your fingers, hoping for the best BUT at the back of your mind, prepared for the worst case scenario.  Regardless, we have to constantly remind ourselves that LUCK is WHEN opportunity and preparation collide head-on.  BUT even more so, we should find opportunities that present to ourselves anytime.  Let us LET GO OF LUCK and BE PREPARED😀😀😀

When Your Mettle Gets Tested

Heard this many times:  THAT the true character of a person will surface WHEN faced with the most difficult challenges.  WHY?  Because it is easy enough to do good things WHEN everything is a-OK!  It's even easier to perform WHEN you're NOT tired OR NOT in pain.  BUT hold on.  WHEN things start to go sideways, that is the moment WHEN the real test starts.  WHEN we start feeling tired OR in pain OR in confusion, that is WHERE the test of character starts to happen.  WHEN we develop our attitude first, it will allow us to build and develop a much stronger core in life.  Till to date, WHEN I observe kids in different neighborhoods, the conventional thinking is that those kids coming from the impoverished villages are much tougher WHEN compared to the pampered kids from the middle tier and upwards.  Point here is that, regardless of your social standing,  When Your Mettle Gets Tested, that is just inevitable📗📙📘

WHICH means, this all boils down to the very foundations of our life.  That foundation will allow us to thrive through the multiple recurrences of those turbulences in life.  YES, we will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, eventually.  BUT those well-tested with hardened core in life will get to see that light at the end of the tunnel much earlier than the rest of the pack, those WHO are like 'eating the dust' in the rat race💧💧💧

For clarity, it is true that a better and stronger core will NOT guarantee that one will NOT face the difficulties OR challenges in life [because everyone has to go through the wringer anyway].  The difference lies on the fact that a better and stronger core and character will allow one to grow through it and see those things as an opportunity to harness and have a better self💚💛💜

As the old cliche goes, 'ATTITUDE FIRST, THEN THE REST WILL FOLLOW'.  Studies have proven that developing one's skills and enhancing character will follow suit once one's attitude has been framed in the right path.  And YES, to quote the experts, there are multiple ways and paths to develop our attitude.  And we can start by gathering information from the success stories of people who have gone through those paths.  HOW?  Just one too many self-helps these days, even from the web😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  The way to go does NOT have an off-the-shelf solution.  You just CAN'T open the cupboard and voila, you got the FIX, really?Reading, listening, watching.  And yes, you can tap ChatGPT to get help from AI how you can FIX the chinks in your armor because that's the only option for your taking [UNLESS one is a 'willing victim' of losing by default in life].  THAT'S WHEN YOUR METTLE GETS TESTED❗❗❗   

All Things BIG Started SMALL!

All Things BIG Started SMALL!

All Things BIG Started SMALL!  YES indeed.  Forage fish are the very cornerstones our marine ecosystems.  Even all the technology innovations we witness around us, NOT a single one from that lot ever sprung like a 'BIG BANG'.  NOT even the Apple products starting from the iPhone.  BTW, do you know that the iPhone itself was conceptualized by Fujitsu in Japan, including its IPR [intellectual property rights] BUT which rights were eventually bought out by Apple.  Even the global networks we now have connecting billions of people started off just as a scientific and academic laboratory initiative by the U.S. military.  Never was it a BIG BANG📗📙📘

Indeed, it is fascinating to consider that many things of those BIG things around us did start from SMALL beginnings.  To whet our appetite for BIG achievements, let us start things with SMALL thoughts that blossom into SMALL ideas until it gets crystallized and concretized.  BTW, when those SMALL thoughts eventually evolve, it's NOT a one-off evolution.  Many of those successes went into hundreds of iterations.  Even that fuel that gets into our car when we fuel-up, they were NOT drilled from the Middle East oil wells AS IS WHERE IS.  I remember when I was an entry-level assembler programmer, we had to run the linear programming scripts countless times, sometimes we ended up in the night, just to meet the Marine Supply and Demands deadline💧💧💧

By analogy, let's do a look-up at the BUTTERFLY EFFECT where a tiny movement in one part of the world can create a major change elsewhere.  SMALL acts, even like the fluttering of the butterfly's wings, can lead to massive impact.  In the university, if you want to finish up a BIG syllabus, start with one page.  Preparing for a major exams?  Start off by answering the first question in the module paper.  Want to write something, have a concrete idea to develop.  Want to have a business.  Draft your feasibility study NOT with aggressive and ambitious assumptions💦💦💦

Even in tiny Singapore, they have that 'SMART SMALL DREAM BIG' initiative officially supported by the government to encourage pre-schools to create authentic platforms for children to innovate, problem-solve and tap their unique strengths to help others.  And talking about Singapore, it was nothing BUT a tiny dot of Malaysia and in the midst of inter-racial tensions, most of the Malaysian Chinese gravitated to that tiny dot which is Singapore today.  As we speak now, Singapore may be a SMALL dot BUT in geo-politics, today Singapore is a respected global behemoth, economically, financially and even politically✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Indeed, start SMALL before becoming that BIG.  Just to share a trivia, in our country, the  cut-throat competition amongst car dealers have gone too far to an extend that some car dealers even offer a ZERO DOWNPAYMENT to purchase a new car, whew!  True it sounds so enticing BUT I did get it from many bankers that their warehouses of mortgaged cars gone awry are unable to accommodate the overflow of those mortgaged cars with default payments.  YES, I did counsel a friend, start off with a second-hand vehicle for your first car until your financials have stabilized.  YES dude, ALL THINGS BIG START SMALL❗❗❗

Are FIXED DEPOSITS Still Safe From Scammers???

 

Traditionally, we are all taught that despite the scams happening everywhere, once we funnel our accounts via FIXED DEPOSITS, it becomes safe.  NOT so fast, dude, because the answer there is both a YES and NO.  As we all know, bank accounts can be 'taken over' by scammers if they gain access to your banking credentials.  So, are FIXED DEPOSITS safe from those 'bad actors'?  WHAT else can we do then???

In one particular Asian country, just in December 2024, at least 103 people were literally duped of at least US$ 122,00, no thanks to phishing scams involving the inpersonation of banks through spoofed SMSes.  A month earlier, an elderly pensioner lost almost $260,000 to scammers WHEN she sold her unit trust investments that she held WHEN she followed the instructions given to her by someone impersonating as the bank officer and before she knew it, it was GAME OVER💧💧💧

The truth is, with scammers gaining access to internet banking credentials and one-time passwords [OTP] through their deceptive tactics, bank accounts can then be easily 'taken over', and traditionally, secure investment products like FIXED DEPOSITS are now NO longer immune.  One misconception about FIXED DEPOSITS raises that scary risks to innocent people💥💥💥

One think WHERE we need to raise awareness is the misconception that FIXED DEPOSITS can be withdrawn only upon its maturity.  NO sirrrrrrs.  Even premature withdrawals are possible although it will incur some fees [BUT NOT significant enough to deter those scammers]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Dude, all it takes is for a scammer to have access to your internet banking account for your FIXED DEPOSIT account to be vulnerable and fall prey to another trick up in their sleeves.  Our fix:  UNLESS you have a compelling reason, please DO NOT ADD OR INCLUDE YOUR FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNTS within your internet banking account.  Please DO NOT BE LURED by the convenience of internet banking because in the first place, you DON'T intend to initiate transactions to that FIXED DEPOSIT, NOT UNTIL when maturity comes, right dude???

Heart Health Awareness

 

NO sirrrrrs, I'm NOT switching careers, NOT this late BTW.  BUT I thought it's more than mutually beneficial [for us all] to share these extracts and snippets from the expert sources.  WHAT caught me by my lapels was this recent Quora.com post by Vikash titled "5 SYMPTOMS APPEAR BEFORE THE HEART VEINS GET BLOCKED".  True, this is a scary topic BUT ISN'T this worth a fraction of our time today dude💚💛💜

Sharing EN TOTO:  Early Signs Of Heart Blockage: Nowadays, people with wrong eating habits and poor lifestyle are increasingly falling prey to heart diseases. Let us tell you that heart blockage or blockage of heart veins is considered to be the biggest cause of heart attack. When plaque accumulates in the veins around the heart, it can thin or block the coronary artery. This can obstruct blood flow to the heart, due to which enough oxygenated blood does not reach the heart. Due to this, symptoms like shortness of breath, chest pain or tightness and dizziness can be felt. If the blood flow to the heart is obstructed, it increases the risk of heart attack and other serious heart-related diseases

In such a situation, after recognizing these symptoms, you should immediately go to the doctor so that treatment can be started on time. Let us know in detail about the early symptoms of heart blockage.  

Chest pain - In case of blockage of the heart veins, chest pain or heaviness may be felt. Usually, this pain is felt in the middle of the chest or on the left side. But sometimes it can also spread to the shoulder, neck or jaw. 

Difficulty breathing - Difficulty in breathing can occur due to heart blockage. Actually, due to blockage in the arteries, sufficient amount of oxygen does not reach the body. This causes difficulty in breathing.

Dizziness - In case of heart blockage, the patient may have problems of fainting or dizziness. Actually, this happens due to lack of blood flow in the heart. 

Cold sweat - Excessive sweating can be a sign of heart blockage. If you are sweating cold and sticky without any apparent reason, do not ignore it. 

Extreme fatigue and weakness - Feeling extremely tired and weak can be a sign of heart blockage. If you feel tired and weak all the time even without doing much work, do not ignore it.

Our takeaway:  NOT to scare you out of your wits BUT regardless of age and culture, our HEART'S HEALTH is, call it, primus inter pares.  Amongst all the things we hope and dream in life [count in our landed properties, cars, family holidays, name it], our HEART's HEALTH should be at the top of the totem pole.  In the United States alone, the #1 cause of deaths due to medical illnesses is SCD [Sudden Cardiac Death].  Let's cross our fingers that we'll contribute to prune down these scary statistics😗😗😗

Don't Offer 'NUCLEAR PHYSICS' As A Topic [Unless You're An SME]

 

Allow me to share this Quora.com post by Keshto:  A man was sitting on the plane next to a young woman, without further ado he began to talk about all the titles he had and his profound knowledge, the young woman only listened, but the man did not stop showing off all his knowledge.  As the young lady didn't say anything, the man told her:  Let's chat.... I've heard that flights seem less long if you talk to the person next to you. The young lady who had just opened a book to start reading closed it slowly and said in a soft voice:  What would you like to talk about?  Well, I don't know... What about "nuclear physics"? he tells her in a mocking tone and showed him a big smile😄😄😄

Well, that seems to be an interesting topic, but first let me ask you a question... A horse, a cow and a sheep eat the same thing: grass; But, why is the sheep's excrement like small pellets, the cow's is a paste and the horse's looks like a ball of dry grass?  Why do you think that happens?

The man, visibly surprised by the young woman's intelligence, thought about it for a moment and said:  Hmm... I have no idea.  The young lady replied:  Do you really feel qualified to talk about nuclear physics, when you don't even know shit?  Such is life.  Sometimes, we come across people WHO either tend to carry their weight way more than their shadow.  OR at times, we tend to go beyond bounds and ending up in a domain area that looks like "NO MAN's LAND" for you❎❎❎

On the other hand, with no ill intentions OR no bad faith either, it is remarkably easy to do too much OR say too much particularly WHEN you either love WHAT you do OR if it's all verbals, you might be gifted with that rare glib.  True, you may indeed be fortunate to be in that situation BUT that may also mean that you are less likely to know WHEN you are tilting towards burnout.  Regardless, there are times WHEN we become more susceptible to losing ourselves in that adrenaline rush💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  One lesson I learned the hard way a couple of times now is WHEN I missed out to check my gut.  LIKE some situations will offer us an opportunity to SAY WHAT YOU WANT.  BUT our gut can give us that warning that we should think twice OR thrice if we need to take a step forward OR backward OR just keep up to the status quo.  Word of caution though.  Our gut is NEVER specific BUT it just realizes WHEN something feels OFF with a situation.  Thing is, let us think twice OR thrice before we volunteer NUCLEAR PHYSICS as our discussion thread😡😡😡

Starting On The Wrong Foot?

Starting On The Wrong Foot?

Surely, we have our share of days gone bad, no thanks because we started on the WRONG FOOT.  YES, I had my fair share of days Starting On The Wrong Foot  and despite my propensity [I call it my self-discipline] to remain optimistic, there were [and till today as we speak], there are days WHEN everything just goes unequivocally wrong, NO matter how I sometimes clutch on straws to recoup OR at least attempt to reframe things despite hiccups hitting me left and right early in the day.  BUT I have to admit that reclaiming control of your days can be that damn challenging.  Been there, it's been tough😗😗😗

I've witnessed those rough starts even at the workplace, witnessing colleagues with fumbling acts sometimes piling one after the other.  And the tough pill to swallow is that WHEN we do stumble down in succession, it feels like ten times harder to rise up and pick up the pieces.  Psychologists advise us that our stress response is useful WHEN it helps us to face an immediate threat BUT alas, it often diminishes our capacity to reason, focus and strategize📌📌📌

Ironically, according to experts, those are the very shields we need to get equipped with, for us to hurdle the seemingly tiny-whiny snags we hit.  The despicable afterthought is, WHEN things take a turn from bad to worse, WHEN we fail on the first step and ending to foul-up on the next step[s] and this is WHERE the psychologists are egging us to to RESET our day by activating our 'PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS' system💦💦💦

To simply the jargon from the experts, they're advising us to tap our 'vagus nerve' WHICH runs from our brain down to our intestine, forming that 'brain-gut' connection.  And tapping on that connection, we are advised to adopt the 4-7-8 breathing technique WHERE we inhale for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 7 and exhale for a count of 8.  To quote them, that is a therapeutic strategy frequently offered to people WHO need to manage anxiety.  BUT WHAT makes me curious is the layman's explanation WHY that technique works.  Apparently, the EXHALE is twice as long as the INHALE, pushing it to interrupt a stress response by activating the PARASYMPATHETIC part❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  HOW often we heard the retort that "IT'S ALL IN THE MIND"?  The problem here becomes chronic WHEN we even end up unwittingly an accomplice to keep that chronic "OH WHAT?  ANOTHER SNAG?"  NOT as we wanted OR expected, we sometimes end up as that unwilling accomplice as we keep stepping with the WRONG FOOT [until our FOOT ends up black and blue].  Insight for this?  Before things exacerbate, CUT AND CUT CLEAN.  'RESET' things ASAP dude because you DON'T deserve a spate of snafus that early in the day.  Ignite the engine and warm it up before you go full throttle for the day dude❗❗❗

YES, The World DOESN'T Owe Us Anything!

From time to time in our daily lives, WHETHER we were courting for one OR not, someone either walks over to us OR confides to us [IN TRUST] either his/her gripes, concerns OR complaints [WHICH remain suppressed from within].  At the workplace, things become much louder and cacophonous.  LIKE 'I hate my boss' OR 'I deserved that role given to that new incumbent' OR 'My job promotion is long overdue'.  BUT to give things the benefit of the doubt, we should be able to often relate to WHERE people are coming from.  And I supposed that's the value of talking to someone because it helps to separate problems from symptoms BUT there is one thing we GOT to remember:  YES, The World DOESN'T Owe Us Anything❗❗❗

NOW, I'm dangling this yellow pad FOR FREE.  Any takers?  Unfortunately, it is captioned to list WHAT THE WORLD OWES us BUT alas, this yellow pad is as empty and blank as it can be.  Nothing we can do, dude.  There is NOTHING to list down in the first place.  BUT I can feel WHERE most of us are coming from.  WHEN we make noise OR voice out our concern, knowing the problem itself is half the solution and I salute someone articulating and vociferously airing his gripes.  WHAT I discovered, though, the past years is that in those conversations, we tend to talk through WHAT's going on and dig deeper into the situation way beyond the surface level.  And alas, they are the reflections of the real problem WHICH can be larger and maybe more corrosive and harder to admit💥💥💥

NOW, where's our common problem here?  The problem is that SOMETIMES, we all feel entitled to something.  Entitlement is then equated to that subtle and implicit belief that we do deserve things and that the world deserves us something.  Oh Oh REALLY?  The truth, however, is something we all know anyways.  That the world owes us NOTHING, NADA, NICHTS.  WHAT makes things harder is for us to remember it at the right time, during those moments WHEN we're feeling entitled!@#$%?

Allow me to grab this quote from famous American author Tony Robbins:  TRADE YOUR EXPECTATION FOR APPRECIATION AND THE WORLD CHANGES INSTANTLY.  Simple words BUT they do run deep way beyond the surface.  Let's look back at one or two instances in the past WHEN we were financially hard pressed.  Surely that was a hard time for you.  BUT I believe it would have been much less harder✅✅✅

You might chase me with,  HOW CAN IT BE MUCH LESS HARDER?  Simple.  if we only remembered during those very moments that there were millions, maybe hundreds of millions of people with financial problems whose severity is maybe 5 to 10 times more serious and more severe than yours.  IF ONLY we thought of that, then we'll realize THE WORLD DOESN'T OWE US except for us to keep grinding, keep going because you've got enough fuel in your tank dude😀😀😀

Are We 'IN SYNC' With Our Own Pace?

Nope sirrrrs, we're NOT covering the olympics synchronization events for our thread today.  BUT in life, Are We 'IN SYNC' With Our Own Pace?  Maybe as we speak now, you are at the apex of your life, accomplished and successful, capable and confident even down the road.  BUT do you have your own BUY-IN and willingness enough to transition from ACTIVE-doing to PASSIVE-being?  Perhaps WHAT you really want is to synchronize your life, integrate your personal and professional lives and along the way, find that common pathway to growth.  BUT HOW???

Listening to the experts, their studies showed that as we age, our desire to synthesize the various aspects of our life into an essential self does increase.  Famous psychologist Carl Jung called this the 'INDIVIDUALIZATION PROCESS'  which means we become authentically aware of WHO we are and WHAT we genuinely seek.  It then becomes that wise amalgamation of our experiences, our mindfulness and our aspirations, all rolled into one

Heard about stacking those Russian nesting dolls.  WHEREIN we have a personal, social and even transcendent self and each is contained above OR below the next.  To quote the experts, WHEN we are IN SYNC, we are cognizant of WHERE these versions of our self touch, align and even meld into one another.  Think about those situations WHERE we feel energized [YESSSSS, I vividly remember my daily walks spanning anywhere between 5 to 10 km per day [WHERE I feel fully immersed]

We could get engaged with various personal activities and it could be as trivial as writing our family history that involves interviewing our aging parents and relatives.  OR it could be as casual as sitting and rediscovering your passion for a specific music instrument [which could be a guitar or piano].  Perhaps it's just doing more of WHAT makes you happy, fulfilled and enlivened [devoid of any external unnecessary pressures on you

Our takeaway:  Being IN SYNC could spin you out of everything that's normal especially WHEN you [wrongly] thought that being IN SYNC should include factoring-in the external variables you either face OR encounter in life.  BUT the stark reality is, the buck starts and stops with you dude.  Get IN SYNC in your life, fix your front yard and backyard because primus inter pares, that is FIRST AMONGST EQUALS that calls for action coming from you [BEFORE mixing things out with the uncontrollable variables in life]😌😌😌