Stop Wasting Our LIfe!

Stop Wasting Our LIfe!

No sirrrrrrs, I'm NOT here to pick up a fight.  Instead, I simply want to scratch the surface to subtly remind us all to Stop Wasting Our LIfe!  NOT to insinuate that we're wasting our life.  NOT to imply that you're hooked up with unhealthy hobbies bordering on addiction.  NOT to mean that you're engaging [a.k.a. WASTING] your time on some meaningless [a.k.a. USELESS] activities [because surely, most of us are mature enough to engage in meaningful day-to-day engagements📗📙📘

Thing is, deep down, we are all conscious and aware that we want our life to be meant for something more.  So, it's NOT surprising if sometimes you self-talk and ask yourself, 'IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN MY LIFE?'  Of course, at the outset, it seems idle curiosity.  BUT over time, that innocent little thought starts nagging, starts making you doubt WHAT you're doing in life.  Just a little at first and then, slowly, your doubt gradually creeps and spreads out💦💦💦

Without raising alarms, like a disease, that tends to contaminate all over your thoughts and leads you to question them too.  Until no longer are you so sure about WHAT you're doing OR the choices you've made OR WHERE your life is heading to.  One moment, you thought you were doing OK in life.  And then the next moment, you seem to be desperately trying to shake this scary thought from your head, like:  WHAT IF MY WHOLE LIFE IS A WASTE?  NOT wasted in the sense like committing a crime and spending the rest of your life in prison, NOT that path💢💢💢

Instead, it is that somewhat insidious wasting of a life that takes place over years with many seemingly small, harmless habits and decisions [and sometimes, INDECISIONS!].  And surely, at some point, we will come to realize that that process of WASTING LIFE is so slow and it DOESN'T happen overnight BUT the long-term implications [call it ramifications] will be seriously impactful at some point down the road💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  TIME FLIES and it does FLY in a fleeting manner.  From my university days [when I was moonlighting in office work to be able to financially support myself] till I finally bagged my first 8am to 5pm job, I thought it was fine that I was "PUTTING TIME"  and simply waiting for something BETTER to come and happen.  BUT here's I'll whack myself.  If that's NOT WASTING life, I DON'T know WHAT it is.  So, could the same thing be happening to you?  Are you WASTING your life?  It's never too late dude for this WAKEUP CALL to let you rise from your deep slumber💥💥💥

Are You In A WRONG FOCUS?

Are You In A WRONG FOCUS?

Many of us WON'T admit it BUT there are nagging questions we need to respond head-on like:  

WHY DON'T WE DO WHAT WE KNOW NEEDS TO GET DONE?  

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CONCENTRATE AND FINISH WHAT WE START?

Are You In A WRONG FOCUS? Me thinks, we CAN'T get away from all these questions

True, we are all living [and co-existing] in this digital age which we all welcome with open arms for all the benefits and perks we're having.  BUT is there any flickering hope of mustering enough energy to stay FOCUSED on WHAT really matters so we can live the lives we want and we do deserve?  So, let's start off WHY we do we really get distracted, if at all?  All along, the question is "I CAN'T FOCUS.  WHY?"  The challenge is for us to put more efforts to have more intense FOCUS💦💦💦

Thing is, FOCUS NOT only requires the ability to do the tasks at hand BUT also the ability to deal with DISTRACTIONS that may take you off track.  The trouble here is that even though you may have the capacity to complete a task, you may NOT be able to avoid distraction and FOCUS.  True, we are all guilty of the endless smart phone checking is a symptom of the problem and it is NOT the very root cause of WHY you find it hard to FOCUS💥💥💥

BUT hey, we CAN'T ultimately blame your smart phone for that promotion you DIDN'T get OR the fact you stayed in bed scrolling Instagram instead of going to the gym.  To learn HOW to FOCUS, you must adopt new skills as well as understand the most common causes of distraction.  So, WHY don't we agree to figure things out as to WHY you seem to be stuck in an unhealthy rut❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's admit this [just like swallowing a big pill tough to swallow], doing WHAT we know we should do is often hard.  If we fall into a routine of avoiding discomfort by taking too many breaks, we learn it's easier to break our FOCUS than WHAT we know we should.  In the end, we quickly learn HOW to avoid discomfort by changing the game.  The hardest reality to accept is that sometimes, we DON'T know HOW to focus on things we dislike.  Sounds familiar?  If you like doing something, you are more likely to do it.  BUT if you find something to be a burden to do it, you will avoid it UNLESS you got NO choice.  So, ARE YOU IN A WRONG FOCUS, dude???

How Often Do We Say "I'M SORRY"?

How Often Do We Say "I'M SORRY"?

How often do we hear "I'M SORRY" being uttered?  LIkely a zillion times, right?  Really, How Often Do We Say "I'M SORRY"? EVEN when we're NOT wrong, we'll say "I'M SORRY".  EVEN if WHAT we did was NOT offensive, we'll say "I'M SORRY".  EVEN WHEN we're late for one minute, we'll say "I'M SORRY".  EVEN WHEN you brought snacks in office only for yourself, you'll say "I'M SORRY" to your work mate.  EVEN WHEN you failed to cancel and remove a MEETING INVITE from the calendar [NOT because you wanted to but because someone else advised], you'll say "I'M SORRY"💧💧💧

EVEN when you made a random comment during that healthy brainstorming a week ago, you'll still say "I'M SORRY".  Oh yes for girls, as she was grappling with the Monday RUSH, when she failed to put on make-up, you'll still hear her say "I'M SORRY".  WHEN you DON'T seem to be your 'jolly self' due to some mood swings, you'll still say "I'M SORRY".  WHEN you felt your honest response DIDN'T look like the kind of response your colleague wanted to receive, you'll still end up saying "I'M SORRY".  Hey Hey Hey, are you suffering from this affliction?  This 'SORRY SYNDROME'💦💦💦

BUT hey, were you SINCERE ENOUGH each time you say "I'M SORRY"?  Maybe YES [sometimes]?  Maybe NO [most of the time]?  Either way, have you been through those situations that make you feel like you never hit an acceptable standard of behavior and as such, you must constantly apologize for your shortcomings?  C'mon dude.  The above list of apologies are just a handful of examples of things I have witnessed through the daily rigors of life, more than once, if I may add.  So, am I correct to question if ever we're into this kind of "SORRY SYNDROME"!@#$%?

So, is it a genuine offense to be one minute late?  [Except of course if your appointment was with someone at the CxO-level?  And are you obligated to bring snacks for your work mate?  And should you seamlessly cancel the calendar INVITES if one of the co-organizers advised that it be cancelled?  OR should we make ourselves available for immediate responses to the needs and issues of everyone in our life and make sure to give them the exact response they would like?  Should we comb through the mental transcripts of past conversations to look for everything we said that might have come out wrong or got misinterpreted❔❔❔

For most of my life, I would have answered all these interrogative statements with a loud and resounding YES.  Maybe through all those times, what kept hovering over me was that sense of ACCOUNTABILITY and on the same breadth, the RESPONSIBILITY that goes along with it.  So, yes, I believed then that if you wanted to show respect and love for someone [and then receive it in return], we could align that these are the bare minimum standards to meet.  So, YES, if you DIDN'T meet them, you better damn apologize.  BUT outside and beyond those exceptions, NO WAY, JOSE to say "I'M SORRY"❎❎❎

WHY Go For The SEEN [And Not The UNSEEN]?

WHY Go For The SEEN [And Not The UNSEEN]?

According to the Theory of Human Motivation, we seek to fulfill our basic physiological needs like food, shelter and water [and add safety] before other needs like belonging and self-esteem are given the attention they duly deserve.  And only after these needs are met can we move to the higher level which is called 'self-actualization'.  Visually, it is laid out as a pyramid with the basic needs forming the foundation.  So, the question that keeps nagging me [till now] is really WHY Go For The SEEN [And Not The UNSEEN ]!@#$%?

Problem is, we constantly strive for things that are NOT in our best interest.  We tend to be vulnerable in seeking to fulfill higher levels of needs [just like belonging] while sacrificing the lower levels of needs [like financial security and even safety].  Often, we seek things that DON'T really fulfill our needs and instead and in fact, sometimes we end up seeking out things known to be destructive to us.  So, the biggest question is, WHY do we end up with that kind of predicament?

Is it because of VISIBILITY?  Indeed, this makes more sense WHEN we think about our needs as those that are visible and those that are UNSEEN OR hidden.  We then tend to ignore things that are UNSEEN even WHEN they are the most important things in life.  WHAT muddles up things is that this disconnect sometimes tends to distort our own ability to prioritize in a way we would refer to as rational as we naturally tend to address things that are noticeable.  Human frailty?  Bluntly, we tend to peruse the VISIBLE and neglect the UNSEEN.  Frustrating right💥💥💥

WHAT happens next is that the SEEN becomes a proxy OR placeholder for the UNSEEN.  We see something NEW and SHINY and assume it will fill a void somewhere higher on that pyramid [and that distracts us].  And the most obvious way this happens is sacrificing financial safety and health [in the form of NOT working towards a higher degree of financial freedom OR engaging in unhealthy behaviors] in order to purchase or peruse things that we think will bring us our higher level of needs.  And I admit I have witnessed this played out over and over again through the years😓😓😓

Some recurring miscues we can easily rectify:

• I saw foodies so I'll buy more and eat more.
• I'll remodel my house so the world will see eat.
• I may be cash-strapped but I'll buy for me to look good

Our takeaway:  The UNSEEN should never be de-prioritized in favor of the SEEN because that is the worst disservice you can give to your life.  Once you live and lead your life in a convoluted way, you could riding in a locomotive waiting to get derailed and end up off-tracked sooner than later.  It's unfathomable to prioritize the SEEN over the UNSEEN ones.  Let's just put a FULL-STOP to this disconnect that will NEVER bring you a better life❎❎❎

Are You STAYING THE COURSE?

Are You STAYING THE COURSE?

More often than NOT, we would hear the sage advice of STAYING THE COURSE.... BUT is that the best course of action?  At various points in our life, everyone of us will find ourselves at the crossroads, grappling with an idea, a plan OR probably a game-changing decision to make.  In the workplace, it will be more challenging for leaders as it is vital to know WHEN to have the courage to forge ahead despite apprehensions and sometimes dissenting voices around📗📙📘

On either case, it requires a grounding of solid conviction, healthy personal resilience and an unsullied willingness to face the attendant risks and accept the potential consequences of potentially being WRONG.  BUT before we get whacked as to WHY we now seem to be aggressively pushing for ACTION and CHANGE [instead of STAYING THE COURSE], it is imperative that any decision we will arrive at must be an INFORMED decision [based on all valid information that are available.  Better still, if you can consult someone WHO went through that similar situation in the past, picking their brains for their previous experience💥💥💥

Regardless, once you have 'CROSSED THE RUBICON', remember there is NO turning back and instead, you are able to confidently DEFEND [even to your self-doubts] your decision, should you need to.  This should have the effect of giving you confidence in your position.  BUT if it DOESN'T, seriously consider revisiting your original set of options which led you to go through your decision-making process.  It is best to initiate a post-mortem because you'll learn from it💧💧💧

Frankly, let's call a spade a spade here.  Let's keep things simple enough.  Life is NOT to be maintained.  Instead, it is to be taken word.  That just gives life some flavor BUT if you DON'T, it's all like a dish without any taste.  Things can be maintained for sure.  BUT things CAN'T be the same forever.  To quote an anonymous one-liner, STAYING THE SAY IS A NIGHTMARE'.  Even for competitive sportsmen, we could hear them say, "I AM READY TO FAIL A HUNDRED TIMES BUT I CAN'T BE THE SAME AT ANY COST".  Indeed, that is the enviable mindset of HIGH PERFORMERS.  They value progression over stagnancy as it's more of a ritual for them❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let us NOT play it safe [unless there are PRESSING reasons to play safe? WHY?  Because by STAYING THE COURSE, you will insist to be on the same place with the same set of opinions.  BUT hey, everyone now should be at a different level of obsession.  It's like hearing, 'CHANGE YOUR CIRCLE'.  The opinions you hear are going to change. BUT if such new opinions sound WISE, it is because it is WISE.  Let's NOT STAY THE COURSE❗❗❗

Finding JOY In The JOY Of Others

Finding JOY In The JOY Of Others

As I DON'T have the slightest skills or capability in Psychology, allow me to reference the CHANGE TRIANGLE tool, first introduced way back the 1970s by Dr David Malan.  Simply put, it is a step-by-step process to simply feel better.  And talking about the CHANGE TRIANGLE, JOY is one of the seven core emotions on the CHANGE TRIANGLE.  And like all other core emotions, JOY has a particular feeling in the body although that feeling varies from person to person.  A medical doctor once egged her patients to kind of slow down to 'SCAN' their body for feelings of JOY even those little 'molecules' of JOY otherwise obscured by the more attention-grabbing NEGATIVE emotions. Finding JOY In The JOY Of Others is the key📘📙📗

Psychologists all opine that WHEN we find JOY inside, we would likely notice 'sensations' like warmth, energy and that 'inner peace'.  And they attest that it feels 'amazing'  to stay with and savor the physical sensations of joy BUT here's their word of caution:  IT TAKES TIME because IT TAKES PRACTICE.  BUT instead of downplaying things, psychologist attest that our capacity to experience JOY is constantly present within us.  Your JOY might be deeply buried deep inside to protect you from either disappointment BUT it remains there💚💛💜

They further share that JOY has that 'special ability' to broaden our mind's perspective [as opposed to constricting it] WHICH happens during the NEGATIVE emotional states of anxiety and even depression.  They sum it up in a bit technical statement which says: "JOY MAY HAVE AN EXPONENTIALLY POSITIVE EFFECT' on one's future thoughts and even behaviors.  WHY?  It's because JOY eggs us to play, expand our curiosity and connect with others.  As more benefits abound, JOY lessens the time spent in NEGATIVE mood states and instead helps us physiologically recover from NEGATIVE states more rapidly💧💧💧

Experts share below some basic 'techniques' to build more joy:

• LOOK FOR LITTLE MOMENTS OF JOY - It could be petting a dog, watching sunrise, noticing a flower or tree, listening to your favorite music, etc.  Looking for these 'MICRO-MOMENTS OF JOY' won't cost an arm and a leg
• DON'T PRESSURE YOURSELF TO HOLD ONTO JOY - DON'T ever worry about the 'fleeting nature' of JOY.  Let the moment be WHAT it is.
• FOCUS ON HOW THE MOMENTS OF JOY FEELS BELOW THE NECK - It's akin to you yourself scanning your body from head to foot to notice the sensations
• ENJOY THE SENSATIONS - Even WHEN you feel tension OR anxiety, try to accommodate all that you feel inside
  
  Our takeaway:  DON'T look too far from WHERE you are right now.  Get back into your personal life.  Get into your work life.  Staying with the visceral experience of JOY will be challenging sometimes as WHEN the various feelings that come up WHEN we feel JOY will need tending and processing too, especially if they prevent JOY from flourishing.  Let us NOT stop FINDING JOY IN THE JOY OF OTHERS💥💥💥

READING READING READING

READING READING READING       

Who says READING comes on the heels of our lowest priorities?  BUT before anything else, please allow me to qualify and clarify that I'm NOT a voracious READER.  BUT having personally bear witness to the tons of benefits in READING, please allow me to leverage on this forum to vociferously promote and encourage READING [regardless of your strata in society [because READING is NOT a monopoly for the RICH and FAMOUS📗📙📘

Of late, a growing body of research indicates that reading literally changes your mind.  Via those MRI scans, many researches confirmed that READING involves a complex network of circuits and signals in the brain.  And as your READING matures, those networks also get stronger and more sophisticated.  In one research, the researchers used functional MRI scans to measure the effect of reading a novel on the brain.  And as the participants read an assigned novel over the course of nine days, when tensions started to build up in the story itself, more and more areas of the brain lit up with activity.  And the brain scans proved that throughout the reading period [and even days afterward], the brain connectivity increased especially in that part called 'somatosensory cortex', that part of the brain that responds to physical sensations like movement and pain😑😑😑

The increased ability to empathize was almost apparent during researches as it showed those people who READ literary fiction did show a heightened ability to understand the feelings and beliefs of others.  That ability called 'THEORY OF MIND' is a set of skills essential for building, navigating, and maintaining social relationships.  It further showed that long-term READERS do tend to have a better-developed THEORY OF MIND✅✅✅

Building one's vocabulary is one of the most obvious benefits.  Contrary to the notion that if you want to enhance your vocabulary, you just need to browsed through the dictionary, our human level of absorption is so low as compared to READING and absorbing the vocabulary you come across through your READING.  BUT as we grow and become more mature, the adults are the first beneficiaries of READING as it helps prevent age-related cognitive decline.  And although research has NOT proven conclusively that READING prevents diseases like Alzheimer's, studies show that seniors WHO read and solve math problems everyday maintain and improve their cognitive functioning.  Experts also encourage us all to start READING as early as possible in life as studies proved that people WHO engaged in mentally stimulating activities all their lives, they were less likely to develop plaques, lesion linked to dementia💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  READING should be one of the least expensive and least costly hobbies to engage with.  At this point in your life, if you still find READING as more of a chore, perhaps, learning more about HOW READING could improve your health and well-being will encourage you to go on a DIGITAL DETOX.  BUT I know it's a tough call because almost all of us are holding on to our respective smartphones once we hit the sack, getting used to that fallacy that social media and that smartphone are all WHAT you need to get to a sound sleep.  Often times, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  So, WHAT better way for us to explore as to HOW far can we kickstart even with a modest READING [if NOT a marathon one].  This is a classic case of SMALL efforts, BIG benefits, and top it all, with the least cost possible💥💥💥

Were You Just Trying [& FAILED?] OR Have You Lost A Step?

Were You Just Trying [& FAILED?] OR Have You Lost A Step?

WHY do some people succeed after FAILING?  WHILE others continue to FAIL even after a spate of FAILURES? Indeed, Were You Just Trying [& FAILED] OR Have You Lost A Step?  It's noteworthy, however, to take a peek at some of the notable FAILURES + SUCCESS stories around us.  Do you know that J.K. Rowling received twelve rejections before the first Harry Potter book was published?  And that's just one inspiring example of FAILURES turned to SUCCESS. BUT the biggest question is, WHY do the SUCCESSFUL individuals ultimately get through WHEN so many others never manage to get past their FAILING phase???

Researches however, showed that it's NOT simply that those WHO learn more as they go have better odds of victory OR succeeding.  Rather, there's a critical tipping point.  And that if your ability to build on your earlier attempts is above a certain threshold, you'll likely to succeed in the end.  BUT if it's even a hair below that threshold, you may be doomed to keep churning out FAILURE after FAILURE [maybe forever]💧💧💧

A recent body of research supports the idea that FAILURE can make you better off in the long run.  In fact, within the world of scientists, they found out that an early career setback often set up scientists for later success.  However, as the stories of Henry Ford, Thomas Edison and JK Rowling demonstrate, the road to success typically involves more than just a single setback in that rough road of life💥💥💥

Data scientists did dive into an avalanche of data to analyze failures and success.  They theorized that success must be the result of one of two basic phenomena, which is LUCK or LEARNING.  People WHO became successful in a given area are either improving steadily over time OR they are the beneficiaries of chance.  So, the researchers tested both theories. And their studies showed that if WINS are primarily the result of chance, all attempts are equally likely to succeed OR fail, very much akin to tossing a coin WHERE WHAT happened before DOESN'T much influence WHAT happens next.  That means the typical person's hundredth attempt WON'T be any more successful than the first [as individuals are NOT systematically improving] ❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  The gathering of minds by researchers are ending up with conclusions that tell us that SOME PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR FAILED ATTEMPTS MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THOSE WHO "LEARN MORE" INCORPORATING MORE COMPONENTS OF THEIR FAILED ATTEMPTS INTO THEIR LATER ATTEMPTS.  In essence, this tells us that HOW YOU FAIL DETERMINES WHETHER YOU'LL SUCCEED.  Simply put, to simply 'TRY AND TRY AGAIN' for example is just NOT enough.  WHETHER you just failed after TRYING or have you lost a step is an entirely separate matter for you to dissect❗❗❗

Fatigue, Weakness & Tiredness Are 'POLES APART'

Fatigue, Weakness & Tiredness Are 'POLES APART'

Many times, things seem to be falling apart within us and from my radar, I would often hear FATIGUE FATIGUE FATIGUE.  But hold on folks, I am hard pressed to believe that all those shortfalls in life are due to FATIGUE.  It is best that we align and differentiate and as per Mr Webster, FATIGUE is a feeling of constant TIREDNESS whereas WEAKNESS refers to that lack of muscle strength while TIREDNESS is a normal sensation after a physical or mental activity.  So, Fatigue, Weakness & Tiredness Are 'POLES APART'📗📙📘

Problem is, more often we tend to blame everything to FATIGUE when at times, we are feeling WEAK or in another scenario, it's just being TIRED.  The tricky thing about feeling TIRED and FATIGUED is that they essentially feel the same.  And sometimes, FATIGUE can be traced to one or more lifestyle issues such as poor sleep habits OR even lack of exercise OR at worst, FATIGUE can be caused by a medicine or linked to even depression.  Word of caution for us all before pinning the blame on FATIGUE, becoming a whipping boy💧💧💧

NOT surprisingly though, fatigue is a common worrying complaint among people performing physical activities on the basis of training or even rehabilitation.  An enormous amount of researches have been initiated all about FATIGUE and surprisingly, there seems to be more 'mix ups' and confusion because many of us tend to loosely interchange different symptomatic manifestations in life💦💦💦

I'll put myself on the spot.  Three days ago, I drove out a distance for a distance that should take two hours.  It took me five hours.  And you can guess how was I after driving for five hours.  Drained.  Zapped.  So, was I that FATIGUED?  Or TIRED?  No-brainer, I was TIRED and all I need was to rest and get re-energized during that quick getaway where I was supposed to literally and mentally recharge myself.  So, was I FATIGUED?  No sirrrrs because that was a one-off thing❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  Let us NOT get mixed-up with FATIGUE versus TIREDNESS or feeling that WEAKNESS because those are three unique manifestations that are triggered differently from each other.  And let us spare FATIGUE from becoming the perennial 'whipping boy' BECAUSE you end up doing a great disservice to yourself, BECAUSE you are misleading yourself, BECAUSE you end up fooling yourself [to be blunt about it].  Bottom line, DON'T make sweeping statements.  DON'T make inclusive conclusions because NO TWO CASES are the same❎❎❎

Is Life Dependent on HAPPINESS?

Is Life Dependent on HAPPINESS?

Is Life Dependent on HAPPINESS?  No sirrrrs, NOT AT ALL.  Years back, I was so fixated with HAPPINESS as I believed that that was the very PURPOSE in life.  Twice I validated myself and I still came up with the same answer that YES, HAPPINESS is our PURPOSE in life.  BUT not to pass the blame BUT we can look around, most people are pursuing HAPPINESS in their lives.  Which is NOT to frown at.  BUT that explains why we collectively end up with the same dilemma as we got this wrong💴💷💵

So, why is it many of us end up with a HAPPINESS mindset?  To be honest, I'm totally clueless but I can only theorize.  And I believe it could be cultural or historical or a combination with media and the overflow in today's INFORMATION ERA.  Well, WE ARE WHAT WE ARE.  Let's just accept that. Most people love to analyze WHY people are NOT happy OR don't leave fulfilling lives📘📙📗

Well, I DON'T necessarily care about the WHY.  And WHAT I care more is HOW we can change the mindset that gets us locked-in to be HAPPY just like WHEN you buy something, we think that makes us HAPPY, WHEN we hook up with people, we think we're HAPPY, WHEN we have a high-paying job, that makes us HAPPY, OR we go on a holiday, we thought that makes us HAPPY?  BUT at the end of the day, you're laying on your back and ask yourself, WHAT'S NEXT in this endless pursuit of HAPPINESS❓❓❓

Honestly, we WON'T able to guess [correctly] as to WHAT'S NEXT.  There you are, chasing something randomly that you think makes you HAPPY.  Dude, it's all a facade.  A hoax.  A charade.  A story that's been made up.  Aristotle, the great Greek philosopher was quoted 'HAPPINESS IS THE MEANING AND THE PURPOSE OF LIFE, THE WHOLE AIM AND END OF HUMAN EXISTENCE'.  Ooops, we need to look at this quote from a different perspective, as otherwise, you might [wrongly] think that HAPPINESS is the main goal.  And that's exactly what this goal is driving at❌❌❌

So, how do we achieve HAPPINESS?  BUT hey, HAPPINESS can't be the goal itself.  Therefore, it's NOT something achievable at all.  And for the longest time, I always firmly believed that WHAT really makes me happy is WHEN I'm useful.  In fact, it comes down to this:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S MAKING A DIFFERENCE?  You DON'T have to change the world OR anything.  Just making it a little bit.  Be it for your family, your loved ones, your boss, your work colleagues, your friends OR even the less privileged in society, can we lift a finger for them?  Because LIFE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON HAPPINESS BUT IT'S OUR USEFULNESS❗❗❗