The Day I Learned I Was A NOBODY

The Day I Learned I Was A NOBODY

For several decades, hospitals were as foreign to me as the planetary bodies.  Many times I even boasted and bragged that the only time I got hospitalized was during my executive checkup UNTIL two Decembers ago, I went under the knife for the first time in my life.  Now I confess that was The Day I Learned I Was A NOBODY.  THAT I was NOT infallible.  THAT I was vulnerable.  THAT I was just human.  And WHAT does this tell me?  That SELF-EXAMINATION is one of the hardest things we humans can do.  Since at times our own ego is bigger than what we can handle, it takes an enormous amount of effort to recognize and accept our FAULTS💴💷💵

Although I grew up in our family where financial struggles was the norm ALMOST EVERY DAY [BUT that's not to heap the blame to my parents BUT I always accepted it as the harsh realities of life], I did develop that feeling of invincibility when growing up.  Ironically, going through the shackles from our family's financial struggles during my childhood DIDN'T deter me or shoot down my willpower.  BUT how can I blame myself.  When I was 19, while I was 'RAW', I guess many teens would blurt the same thing, 'WHAT CAN GO WRONG'📘📗📙

Incredibly, my solace was partly the knowledge that I have my entire life ahead of me.  So, I asked myself, 'WHY WORRY?'  Indeed, I took more chances than anyone I knew, even among my classmates and contemporaries.  While I did NOT live for the thrills, I did live for the CHALLENGES which indeed did wet my appetite and hunger to aim for more.  If I got a bit misguided, it was my [skewed] thinking that I could come up unscathed.  Only then much later in life did I start questioning NOT only my life BUT also my PURPOSE.  Suddenly, the 'thrills' ceased to be WHAT they once were💎💎💎

Then, at some point, I became increasingly disappointed [frankly, I was MORE frustrated than disappointed] in myself and everyone around me.  I then felt confused and anxious.  I was looking for something that I couldn't name, couldn't even pin down, something that would satisfy my SEARCH for something I DIDN'T even know WHERE to find, whew❌❌❌

Before I ended up stuck with credit-grabbing, WHAT woke me up were these undeniable facts.  My name?  WHO gave it to me?  My ID or even my driver's license?  WHO issued it to me?  Did I school yourself?  NOPE, I went to a place of learning.  And how about my IDEAS?  NOPE, I followed and did embrace the IDEAS of others.  And I settled for standards?  NOPE, they were the RESULTS.  In the shortest words, I am a CARBON COPY of millions like me, who follow the rules.  Regardless of culture, society labels us compulsively.  It's demanded that we do, to show our value.  BUT we already ARE.  To borrow the jargon of theologians, WE ARE THE ESSENCE OF DIVINITY ITSELF❗❗❗

Why Is CONTENTMENT So Elusive?

Why Is CONTENTMENT So Elusive?

Many people believe that having tons of money would solve all their problems.  However, even people WHO can afford great luxuries can find themselves UNHAPPY in their lives.  The key to well-being ISN'T the number in your bank account BUT your ability to feel CONTENTMENT wherever you are in life.  So, Why Is CONTENTMENT So Elusive? Have you ever bought a lotto ticket and allowed yourself to imagine all of the things you would buy with money❓❓❓

Becoming rich overnight would be absolutely amazing, whew!  It's true, in lotto, from time to time, someone really wins the jackpot worth hundreds of millions and on that note, it may be safe to assume most people today wish they had more money and making that kind of money WOULD help solve their worries, fears and/or pain.  Right? Maybe I guess.  BUT hey, most people DON'T play lotto and assuming we do, the winning probability could be the slimmest ever you could think of💧💧💧

Some of us get into a profession [like a doctor or a lawyer] where it's true, we have a good chance of earning more BUT will all our woes simply dissipate in thin air?  OR perhaps any of these professions DON'T seem doable so we end up focusing on something else.  We turn our focus towards making enough money to pay our bills and saving up so we can retire comfortably in the future with the goal of travelling the world.  Making just enough money to be comfortable would be wonderful.  MAYBE💥💥💥

You're probably wondering WHY I ended up sharing that scenario with a MAYBE.  BUT isn't wealth the ultimate path towards happiness?  After all, if we had access to all of the things rich people had access to, life would be great.  MAYBE.  Having wealth, in and of itself, is neutral.  It DOESN'T make us unhappy OR happy, it just is.  Wealth can provide nice thrills like flying first-class or going on fancy dates.  You may have always wanted BUT you just DON'T have the funds right now.  OR maybe you live in a loud and rowdy apartment and you find yourself daydreaming about living in a home overlooking the ocean💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  True, wealth can give and offer a lot for us BUT one thing wealth CAN'T guarantee us is happiness.  We may know people personally OR can think of a celebrity WHO has access to all of the comforts and thrills BUT remains unhappy.  Many people will assume that wealth brings long-lasting happiness BUT that ISN'T always the case.  To understand WHY this happens, it's important to differentiate between thrills and contentment.  Thrills may be drugs for a drug addict, skydiving for an adrenaline junky OR travelling the world for a jet setter.  Many people DON'T interact with these thrills OR can't access them yet they seem content and at peace with their lives.  So, CONTENTMENT is NOT elusive after all😀😀😀

Why Is Our FREE-TIME MORE Important Than Our 9-5 Work?

Why Is Our FREE-TIME MORE Important Than Our 9-5 Work?

Why Is Our FREE-TIME MORE Important Than Our 9-5 Work?  Before I get accused and/or bashed that I am inciting unproductiveness OR inefficiency at work, allow me to pre-empt such brickbats.  BECAUSE at work, we're more efficient because of work procedures.  BECAUSE at work, we're more productive because of company policies. BECAUSE at work, we're more conscious because of that FEAR of losing our job.  So, our problem is managing our FREE-TIME.  WHY?  BECAUSE we are NOT bounded by RULES in managing our FREE-TIME.  BECAUSE we DON'T fear if we end wasting our FREE-TIME.  BECAUSE we [wrongly] thought and think [TILL NOW] that there are NO ramifications if end up NOT efficiently utilizing our FREE-TIME.  BECAUSE there are no practices or traditions in any culture that our FREE-TIME be utilized efficiently💵💴💷

Now, when we think about SUCCESS at work, we tend to think about the behaviors and strategies that people manifest and exemplify at work.  We think about WHAT people do during the 9-5 working hours, and whether they extend those hours by coming in early OR staying late to tackle projects.  WHAT they do WHEN they get home, OR on weekends, WHEN they're away from the office and away from their computers, DOESN'T enter your mind.  BUT here's the thing:  IT SHOULD📗📙📘

HOW people spend their FREE-TIME can actually have a BIG impact on their SUCCESS in their professional world.  SUCCESSFUL people tend to spend their FREE-TIME in more meaningful ways.  LIKE they read [whether it's fiction OR non-fiction] as READING is a lifelong skill.  LIKE they have hobbies.  Focusing exclusively on work MIGHT SEEM like a FAST-TRACK to SUCCESS.  BUT this approach has a downside.  it will stress you out and sets you up for BURNOUT📌📌📌

LIKE volunteering.  Volunteering, no matter WHERE or HOW you do it, it is beneficial for you and maybe, even your community.  WHETHER you're providing mentorship or a community work, your time goes a long way towards benefiting the beneficiary of your VOLUNTEER work.  I remember years ago when I had that sizable FREE-TIME, I was a Volunteer Probation Officer with the Singapore government's Ministry of Community Development.  And frankly, I felt a huge achievement for sharing my FREE-TIME with my Singaporean teenager under probation then.  And that extended to his parents as well who I gave my counselling too✅✅✅

And of course NETWORKING comes in.  There are one too many NETWORKING events outside the realm of corporate hours.  SUCCESSFUL people are willing to step outside their comfort zones in an effort to meet new people regardless of any professional circumstances.  WHY?  The wider your network is, the more opportunities you'll have down the road❗❗❗

Keep It Simple, Sirrrrs [KISS]

Keep It Simple, Sirrrrs [KISS]

Frankly, this was NOT my intended heading for our blog today because I wanted to borrow that infamous one-liner of Former U.S. President Bill Clinton when, in the midst of economic policy discussions at the White House, he blurted,Keep It Simple, shit [KISS] but lest I get flagged down by our hosting portal, I didn't want to take a risk.  BUT our thread today revolves around making things AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE💴💷💵

BUT many argue that SIMPLE ISN'T SIMPLE.  BUT hey, way back 500 B.C., Chinese Philosopher Confucius was quoted that 'LIFE IS REALLY SIMPLE BUT WE INSIST ON MAKING IT COMPLICATED'.  With the influx of massive amounts of information, and the unabated explosion of technology [NOT to mention SOCIAL MEDIA], SIMPLICITY has become difficult to remain as such📗📙📘

Let's NOT look farther.  Let us consider all of the elements we're bombarded with each day.  A slew of calendar INVITES, metrics-based reporting, measures tracking, admin approvals, online forms for compliance, security compliance and so on.  So, many times, it is us WHO do create that COMPLEXITY arising from SIMPLICITY.  How did we create it📌📌📌

Sadly, we correct things by OVERCORRECTING  with absurd workarounds.  We also take SIMPLE intent and often over-engineer solutions to make people feel better about being included in a process.  Much of this is SIMPLY not that necessary.  The problem is from within us.  And the downsides to this approach?  Fatigue.  Lack of results.  Frustration.  Destroyed passion.  Added costs of execution.  Extended decision-making processes, and so on❌❌❌

Years back when I was heading the Pre-Sales Solutions Team, I presented before the managing director and the CFO.  NOT to overblow things, after my presentation, they verbalized that they will signoff BUT and here's the catch.  I had to rerun the same presentation to their Shared Services Center management team and rerun again to their Audit and Security Team.  Whew!  Of course, eventually I WON the deal but at what expense?  By having the client tripling their decision-making process.  Dude, let's NOT forget to always KEEP IT SIMPLE Sirrrrrs [KISS]✅✅✅

What Explains Our WRONG DECISIONS?

What Explains Our WRONG DECISIONS?

WHO has not made WRONG DECISIONS???? Of course, everyone of us made such NOT SO RIGHT decisions from time to time in the past [and maybe till as we speak now]. Question is What Explains Our WRONG DECISIONS?  To put things in perspective, researches show that, on average, a typical person makes about 2,000 DECISIONS every hour, whew!  BTW, most DECISIONS are minor and we make them instinctively, like should I take my meal💵💷💴

BUT let's face it, many of the DECISIONS we make throughout the day needs and takes REAL thought, and have serious consequences.  And, consistently making good DECISIONS is arguably the most important habit we can develop, especially at work.  Our choices and DECISIONS will likely affect our health, our relationships, our safety, our well-being, and a lot more.  BUT here's the ALERT: Be incisive if you will manifest some mindsets that can trigger a RED FLAG for you📗📙📘

The most common of these alarming mindsets is the DECISION FATIGUE.  That's when even the most energetic people DON'T have endless mental energy.  Our ability to perform tasks and make decisions wears thin when it is repeatedly exerted.  With so many DECISIONS to make, especially ones that have a big impact on other people, it becomes inevitable to experience decision fatigue.  To counter it, identify the most important decisions you need to make and PRIORITIZE💎💎💎

Then comes our steady states of DISTRACTION.  With the technology tsunami from the past decade [and TILL NOW] ushering in unprecedented convenience.    Researches how that our brains process five times as much information as much information today as in 1986.  Consequently, many of us live in a continuous state of DISTRACTION and struggle to focus.  How to fix this?  EACH DAY, FIND TIME TO GO OFFLINE❕❕❕

There's this interesting study by Author Susan Cain that many introverts are reluctant to speak up in a meeting UNTIL they know precisely WHAT they want to say.  Another culprit is MULTI-TASKING.  Unfortunately, there AREN'T many jobs left in the world today that DON'T require MULTI-TASKING.  And while that's the reality, studies show that performance and DECISION-MAKING suffer up to 40% when we MULTI-TASK.  So, now we know WHAT EXPLAINS OUR WRONG DECISIONS❗❗❗

Do You LIVE LIFE? Or Do You REACT to LIFE?

Do You LIVE LIFE?  Or Do You REACT to LIFE?

Do You LIVE LIFE?  Or Do You REACT to LIFE?  Sometimes, does it happen that others DON'T seem to understand your pain while they seem to live a HAPPY LIFE?  BTW, that is a common predicament and the hard TRUTH is that HAPPINESS takes a lot of HARD WORK  and even learning how to live life to the fullest takes a hell lot of stretched patience.  I can state this straight to your eyes because I went through this gauntlet📗📘📙

And there's a lot more bagful of not so shocking surprises in life, spelled S-T-R-E-S-S.  STRESS comes in many forms, shapes, and colors.  And sometimes they creep in, incognito.  WHAT's our trick?  Once you see that "STRESS", prick it like the party balloons.  WHEN we stumble across people who smile in public, many of them would likely have been through every bit as much as people who cry, frown OR scream📌📌📌

As our LIFE IS SHORT [and mind you, we only LIVE ONCE], learning to LIVE LIFE to the fullest is an important step to making the most of every day. But HOW?  Words seem easier but let's try it out:

• DECIDE what's important to you via PRIORITIES
• TAKE RISKS.  Every reward in life carries a RISK
• SHOW YOUR LOVE to the people you care about
• LIVE IN THE PRESENT.  Just learn from your past
• IGNORE HATERS.  Such is life.  Just IGNORE them
• DON'T compromise VALUES if something is not right

Having and keeping an OPEN MIND is important in our daily life.  Just because we seem RIGHT about something DOESN'T mean there AREN'T other ways to look at it.  Listening to ideas you DON'T agree with OR understand keeps your brain active and healthy.  As learning is a lifelong process, we'll continue to learn as long as we STAY OPEN even to difficult conversations.  We just should NOT assume that we know everything about another person as they always have more to teach you and us.  And to crystallize our words and intentions, TAKE ACTION for WHAT matters to you.  How often you hear people say "I HAD THAT IDEA" when someone creates something.  BTW, everyone had that IDEA for Facebook first❎❎❎

Borrowing this quote from Christian Pastor Charles Swindoll, 'LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND 90% HOW YOU REACT TO IT'.  So, our takeaway for today is fairly straightforward.  What LIFE IS NOT.  It's NOT 100% of what is actually happening but just a measly 10%.  The remaining 90% of it, it is HOW you handle WHAT's happening, HOW you contain the impact, HOW you react to it, HOW you respond to all the unexpected.  Sadly, there is no 'ONE SIZE FITS ALL' solution for this reality in life because every situation will require us to formulate with the best possible containment until you got to get over the hump.  Let's LIVE LIFE by living MORE THAN we react to it❗❗❗

Our Most Common Nemesis

Our Most Common Nemesis

Do we have Our Most Common Nemesis?  Yes, we do have and it's those MISUNDERSTANDINGS triggering OR worsening conflicts.  When a MISUNDERSTANDING occurs, guess WHO caused the problem?  Of course, it's a no-brainer, everyone involved in that conversation.  Even in good faith, anyone can be party to a MISUNDERSTANDING💵💴💷

If you have something to say, it's up to you to ensure that the person you are imparting OR delivering your message to have it understood as clearly as WHAT you said and WHAT you did intend the message.  And many times, with our best intentions we say something BUT ending up NOT finding the most appropriate words OR phrase.  And that usually results in either a misinterpretation OR being quoted out of context📗📙📘

At the same time, if you're being spoken to, it is up to you to ensure that you clearly and fully UNDERSTOOD what's been said.  If anything is said that you're NOT 100% certain you did understand, it's crucial that you ask questions to clarify.  Not asking the right clarificatory questions either because you missed OR you hesitated will end up with the same result, that you might end up NOT getting the message as meant and intended❎❎❎

All it takes are 5 simple steps to avert OR avoid MISCOMMUNICATIONS:

• ASK PERMISSION TO DISCUSS THE SITUATION - DON'T hesitate
• ASK QUESTIONS & REALLY LISTEN TO THE CLARIFICATORY ANSWERS
• FIND THE SOURCE OF THAT MISUNDERSTANDING & CORRECT IT
• CHECK THAT UNDERSTANDING HAS BEEN REACHED 
• CONFIRM THAT ALL IS CLEAR

So, WHAT's our takeaway today?  THAT there is more depth to communication than what most people understand. It is easy to assume that if you're comfortable talking to people, that means you have excellent COMMUNICATIONS skills.  BUT looking back my experiences, that is NOT the case because as you begin to break down COMMUNICATION and look at WHAT's actually involved, it could be far more complex than people you realize.  Let us pounce now on OUR MOST COMMON NEMESIS, dude✅✅✅

Why Do You Get UNDERESTIMATED?

Why Do You Get UNDERESTIMATED?

Why Do You Get UNDERESTIMATED?  A recent study in the United States shows that 27% of Americans think that they are NOT well understood, and as such, UNDERESTIMATED.  Are you one of that 27%?  BUT before we go berserk with this topic, let's deep-dive and understand WHY people UNDERESTIMATE us [and maybe you yourself you're UNDERESTIMATING yourself💵💴💷

And before we get bogged down with other arguments, let's look FROM WITHIN.  Let us LISTEN to our own feedback as to WHY we're UNDERESTIMATING ourselves.  MAYBE you're NOT getting enough feedback?  Are others reaffirming how well you're doing?  Science tells us that FEEDBACK MATTERS.  In one study, people performed tasks equally well when given FEEDBACK or NOT.  However, those who were left in the dark actually UNDERESTIMATED their abilities📗📙📘

The thing is, we constantly need an INFLUX of FEEDBACK.  And if you're NOT given one, go, ask for it, look for it.  And we got to be sharp for that 'LIKING GAP'.  STRANGER BIAS is when we meet someone and automatically assume they DON'T like us.  This makes us THINK they've UNDERESTIMATED us BUT in reality, science says otherwise.  Apparently, that 'LIKING GAP' doesn't only apply to strangers BUT even personal relationships as well.  Oh oh, this one should be a relief if you're neurotic like me.  And sometimes, UNDERESTIMATION is nothing but an ILLUSION💎💎💎

There was even a survey of undergrad students and asked them a series of questions about grammar, logic and even jokes.  They then asked the students to score themselves.  Interestingly, the students who OVERESTIMATED their score actually scored the lowest.  As for the students WHO UNDERESTIMATED themselves?  They actually scored the highest✅✅✅

So what's our TAKEAWAYS here?  Let us start a 'SUCCESS FILE'.  Your 'SUCCESS FILE' will be a collection of all your strengths, capabilities and SUCCESSES.  These include commendation emails, endorsement, positive feedback, and even THANK YOU notes.  Just to share, till now, those colorful small stars I received from my 'Mission Impossible' workshop colleagues [hosted in Hong Kong years ago] are posted on the wall fronting my home workstation.  WHY?  Because that constantly reminds me of those best moments wherein my colleagues coming from various countries have given me their votes of affirmation.  So, WHY DO YOU GET UNDERESTIMATED❓❓❓

BREAKING NEWS: Inside Job Unraveled

BREAKING NEWS:  Inside Job Unraveled

Yesirrrrrrs here's an early BREAKING NEWS:  Inside Job Unraveled.  And it is the fact that HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.  HAPPINESS is something that everyone strives for.  Unfortunately, we often look for it in EXTERNAL FACTORS such as relationships, careers OR possessions.  Have you ever heard yourself say 'I WILL BE HAPPY WHEN.....?'  This kind of thinking implies that our HAPPINESS is dependent on some EXTERNAL FACTOR or circumstance that may OR may not be within our control💴💷💵

When we say "I WILL BE HAPPY WHEN I GET A PROMOTION AT WORK', we are essentially saying that our HAPPINESS is contingent on something that may OR may not happen.  Even if we do get a promotion, it may NOT bring us the sustained HAPPINESS that we expect.  If we are always looking towards some future event OR circumstance to bring us HAPPINESS, we will be sure to miss out on the joy and contentment that is available to us right now and we will NEVER feel truly fulfilled OR satisfied in our lives📙📘📗

So, while circumstances can certainly impact our mood and well-being, our HAPPINESS ultimately comes from within us.  This means that we have the power to cultivate HAPPINESS regardless of our external circumstances.  One way to cultivate HAPPINESS from within is to practice GRATITUDE💎💎💎

By focusing on the things that we are thankful for, we can shift our perspective and find joy in the present moment.  GRATITUDE also helps us to appreciate the positive aspects of our lives even when things may NOT be going as planned.  Another way to promote HAPPINESS from within is to practice SELF-CARE💙💛💚

Taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally can help us feel better overall.  This includes things like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and taking time for ourselves to do things that we enjoy.  Our takeaway for today is a no-brainer.  Let us NOT depend on external factors for our HAPPINESS.  It has to be within our control❗❗❗

You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED

You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED

In our society, getting BORED is almost always LOOKED DOWN upon as there's always a CONSTANT PUSH to do more, and have more.  So WHAT'S your take on this dude?  The thing is, we are confusing being productive with being reactive.  So many of us fill ever spare moment, whether we're waiting in line for coffee, for the elevator, with a quick email, a tweet OR a 'LIKE'.  Hey, You Need BOREDOM To SUCCEED💴💷💵

These two boys seemingly idle at the window, would you agree there is a higher probability that in the midst of that BOREDOM, a very raw [and seemingly silly] idea could pop-up in their minds and voila!  The problem is, we adults [wrongly] think of those spare moments as WASTED TIME and opportunities to respond to family, friends, colleagues, OR just the headlines.  BUT actually, waiting in line and allowing yourself to get BORED ignites a network in your brain called 'THE DEFAULT MODE'.  This is where we can do our most original thinking, problem solving, and future planning📙📗📘

WHY don't we consider to take back those spare moments for deeper thinking about your work and life?  Can we consider to try skipping that EXTRA TWEET or SMS/text message that you WON'T even remember come next day?  BUT most of our iGen/Gen Z and Millennials will all blame technology for their behaviors that become FILLERs to their BOREDOM.  Then BOREDOM dissipates, no thanks to SOCIAL MEDIA💎💎💎

Balancing the PROs and CONs of technology might be our BIG personal and societal issue of our time.  We love being CONNECTED and having access to a global wealth of information BUT yes, many of us are weary of the constant interruptions, news and SOCIAL MEDIA overload, and privacy issues.  So WHAT's our FIX for this dilemma?  Primero, when you go to your apps OR platform, ask yourself whether that tap is just a reflex OR an action that will actually help you at that very moment.  Segundo, encourage yourself and the people around you to get BORED more often✅✅✅

NOT only can it ignite CREATIVITY, BOREDOM can help people be more empathetic and imagine WHAT it's like to be in someone else's shoes.  If we all collectively rethink our digital habits and ignite our DEFAULT MODES more often, maybe some of our best brains can find solutions to our problems.  Our takeaway today:  value that slack time to induce that BOREDOM that will ignite your CREATIVITY❗❗❗