When Your Value Is At Its Nadir

 

Do we hit ROCK BOTTOM?  Surely many of us did hit ROCK BOTTOM at least once in our lifetime.  That's WHEN YOUR VALUE IS AT ITS NADIR.  For alignment, let's agree WHAT it means to hit ROCK BOTTOM.  It could be one's domestic situation at its worst.  LIKE a failure in your immediate family relationships.  LIKE being jobless.  LIKE going through dire financial straits.  LIKE your business forays ending in a total disarray [a.k.a. bankruptcy].  LIKE one or his/her immediate family members being in a serious medical situation.  LIKE an untimely demise.  One too many scenarios here💚💛💜

True, life ISN'T always smooth sailing.  Sometimes, we would find ourselves at a place damn so low that we end up wondering if it's ever possible to climb back up.  I heard some folks asked LIKE:  'Am I at the lowest point of my life?' OR 'Can this feeling of depression and frustration go any deeper farther?'.  Either way, these are ROCK BOTTOM scenarios indeed.  According to mental health experts, such extreme stressors can trigger feelings of hopelessness depression and even anxiety.  BUT the complexity lies in the fact that every individual's experience remains unique.  WHAT feels LIKE the lowest point for one person may be different from WHAT someone else's situation💧💧💧

Truth is, no one's life journey is the same, WHETHER it's your friends, family OR colleagues, each one may hit their own 'low points' for entirely different reasons.  BUT WHETHER it's a marriage failure, a severe injury, a legal trouble OR a unique personal crisis, hitting one's personal ROCK BOTTOM often signals LIKE a 'wake up call', an urge to seek change OR even professional help.  WHAT is of most paramount importance is recognizing the signs that one has hit ROCK BOTTOM💥💥💥

NOW, before we end up sulking WHEN we hit ROCK BOTTOM, can we align and agree on those NOT so seemingly obvious upsides of hitting ROCK BOTTOM.  BUT again, WHETHER hitting ROCK BOTTOM is 'good' OR 'bad' really depends on one's perspective.  For many, it is an extremely painful 'wake up call' and it may feel LIKE you've lost your own sense of self your family's trust OR your life's purpose.  Yet for some, this lowest point can spark a realization that there's NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP.  WHEN you lost nearly everything that mattered most, you may feel a renewed push to seek help, be it from one's loved ones or even professionally.  Either way, at that point in time, regardless if help is forthcoming, we got to seek help, WHATEVER it means, WHATEVER it takes😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Each one of us needs to realize that life's challenges can feel like huge big waves crashing over you.  Just as surfers learn to navigate those huge waves without giving up, each of us needs to figure out and find a way to rise up above an adversity that may even lead us to an utter failure.  And that climb up from ROCK BOTTOM might be difficult BUT every small step counts.   SO HOW?  Recognize that ROCK BOTTOM situation then roll up your sleeves to climb up dude❗❗❗

The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese

 

As always, everyone will say, THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM BUT here's the catch.  THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.  We can draw parallelisms to our own selves WHEN we are the neophytes OR novices in a specific endeavor we are diving into, be it in the job market OR be it commercial forays OR even in competitive sports.  Unfortunately, many of us [and that included me in the past] would always think otherwise, brimming with confidence [sometimes overflowing] that we are 'tops'💜💛💚

Truth is, WHEN we are the newest player in the field, true, we can be that bird WHO catches the worm BUT generally, neophytes OR novices are severely handicapped and in WHICH case, very much disadvantaged because our experience by then could likely lead us to mistakes and worst, even failure.  BUT the question, can the neophytes and novices pick a lesson OR two from their predecessors?  After having observed one too many failures in life [and I admit I have a share of those failures in my yesteryears], it is indeed human nature to be a little wary of trying new things💥💥💥

That FEAR of FAILURE tends to make us less likely to take risks even if we're NOT putting our lives in jeopardy.  YES, no one likes to lose money OR worse, even lose face on an idea that DOESN'T work in the first place.  WHICH reminds me of this poetic one-liner:  'EAGLES MAY SOAR BUT WEASELS ARE NEVER SUCKED INTO AIRPLANE ENGINES'.  In brief, many people are indeed motivated by that sense of security and WHEN I observe the differences, I can discern HOW and WHY it happens😕😕😕

Heard of this that a SECOND MOUSE RARELY LEAVES HIS COMFORT ZONE.  If only they can tell you frankly, like:  GO AHEAD, YOU TRY IT FIRST, I'LL JUST STAY OVER HERE IN MY SAFE COZY WORLD AND WATCH.  AND IF YOU DON'T DIE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING TO GAIN, THEN MAYBE I'LL TRY.  Which reminds me of Mark Twain saying:  A MAN WITH A NEW IDEA IS A CRANK UNTIL THE IDEA SUCCEEDS✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Our human desire for that level of security alongside the accompanying risk aversion and avoidance, that keeps us from even testing our potential.  And for the typical worker, as long as you're comfortably receiving a steady paycheck, you're NOT going to take that risk.  More than any other characteristic, it is that willingness to take risks that defines the innovator.  YES, WHEN it is impossible to know the rules, it makes it even scarier to try something new that could possibly break.  YES, security is nice to have BUT this is more about being vigilant that it is about finding a rule that will cover every exigency.  Otherwise, the SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE❗❗❗

When The Harshest Weather Is Over!

 

Very true, everyone would dread the harshest weather ever, be it the scorching suns breaching 50-degrees OR those biting winters that seem to bog down daily life itself.  And if everyone shares that most common anticipation, it is when the HARSHEST WEATHER IS OVER.   Just to state the obvious, supposedly, that's WHEN everyone of us would expect to literally bounce back into life, come up to speed, ramp up and go on a full throttle to make up for the lost time WHEN life seemed to be at a standstill📗📙📘

As Science is the farthest I can claim to know from my limited book of knowledge, scientists claim that life manages to survive in places as hot as volcanoes and as cold as the poles of our planet, scientists claim that organisms thrive in these extreme environments and somehow, our bodies have these unique adaptions to survive in such punishing and intense conditions.  BUT HOW do we humans manage the harshest weather in our life???

As much as planet Earth is vast, from scorching hot deserts to freezing cold glaciers along with a wide range of environments neatly pocketed throughout the globe, there is something that each place as in common and that's LIFE.  BUT similarly to the harshest weather conditions, we humans need to adapt further.  It's the equivalent of having to wear a sweater WHILE living in a cold country.  YES, you may be getting water food and shelter to survive BUT certainly, we would be more comfortable with a sweater than without one💥💥💥

NOW, let's face reality.  NO ONE is immune and safe from facing the harshest challenges ever in life.  NOT even Former Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte WHO ended up locked up at the ICC Jail at The Hague after taunting and challenging the ICC structure to arrest him before he dies.  These days, his so called 'courageous' wishes have now been fulfilled and only God knows, WHAT's in store for him now that he's languishing at the ICC Jail❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  TIME is of the essence here.  Once the horizons in life have cleared, let us NOT waste even the first one minute to grab that opportunity to recover up for lost time and lost opportunities.  And even as we know the regular cycles of weather, there are many unpredictable cataclysmic conditions that can hit us hard and NOT following the regular calendar of the weather cycle.  WHEN THE HARSHEST WEATHER IS OVER, let's roll up our sleeves, go for broke if we may before the next harsh weather locks us in that vicious cycle😌😌😌

Stop Searching For Happiness, Then It Will Find You!

NOT many donkey years ago, I was once plagued with angst and dissatisfaction, a manifestation that was sometimes met with bemusement instead of sympathy.  HOW often you did hear parents retort to their teens LIKE:  'The problem with your generation is that you always expect to be happy'.  And even when observing from a distance, I was more baffled than informed because we all agree that HAPPINESS is the very purpose of living and we should strive to achieve it.  Stop Searching For Happiness, Then It Will Find You📗📙📘

The challenge is, many of us are NOT prepared that melancholy as something that was beyond one's control.  And the ever-growing mass of wellness literature would seem to suggest that many others share that same view.  This past decade, though, there has been a spike of researches about HAPPINESS and all studies point to the same conclusion that our obsession with HAPPINESS and high personal confidence may be making us LESS content with our lives and LESS effective at reaching and achieving our pre-set goals.  In fact, we may be often HAPPIER WHEN we stop focusing on HAPPINESS altogether.  Can we, dude???

Much as those conclusions seem unwelcome, it's been replicated in multiple studies, only reinforcing the opinion that those experiments do reveal the quite dark side of our pursuit of HAPPINESS.  Besides reducing our everyday contentment, that constant desire to feel HAPPIER can make people feel just more lonely.  In the end, we seem to be so absorbed in our own well-being and in the end, we tend to forget the people around us, and we may even resent them for inadvertently bringing down our mood OR distracting us from more important goals.  And our pursuit of HAPPINESS can even have strange effects n our perceptions of time as that constant FEAR OF MISSING OUT [a.k.a. FOMO] reminds us just how short our lives are and HOW much time we must spend on😊😊😊

There was this research from Toronto which concluded that simply encouraging people to feel HAPPIER while watching a relatively boring film meant that they were more likely to concur that 'TIME IS SLIPPING AWAY FROM ME'.  And the same conclusion was arrived at WHEN the research participants were asked to list 10 activities that might contribute to their HAPPINESS, a subtle reminder that they could all be doing to improve their well-being placed them in a kind of panic as they recognized HOW little time they had to achieve it all.  And a side conclusion of those studies showed that our human tendencies to be paying constant attention to our mood will likely stop us from enjoying everyday pleasures, WHICH in the end, will deprive us of that genuine HAPPINESS we deserve after all💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  Let us 'LET OFF' the pressure from ourselves.  If you're an aspiring, put on hold visualizing yourself with those gold medals around your neck.  If you're an up and coming entrepreneur, temper your visualizations of yourself with that sartorial elegance, chairing a board meeting of your directors in a swanky plush board room.  If you're a dieter, temper that visualization of yourself in that ideal svelte figure you have been dreaming of [maybe for a decade].  And researchers do support this hypothesis that those 'POSITIVE FANTASIES' [and even the 'POSITIVE MOODS' they create] may likely lead to a sense of complacency.  YES dude, STOP SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS, THEN IT WILL FIND YOU!!!

When Do We SLOW DOWN?

 

WHEN DO WE SLOW DOWN?  In the SMARTPARENTING website, I came across earlier today this shared experience dated 06.25.2025 of a 'runner dad' who had a stroke at the very young age of 33 years old.  As an occupational therapist, he was so conscious of health and fitness to the extent that he went into running and marathons.  Shockingly, this seemingly fit young dad suffered a STROKE right after one of his regular running exercises.  This young dad admitted that he does running every week, boxing every week and even does cross-training twice a week.  In their domestic household, the husband used to be the extrovert handling ALL of the family's needs WHILE the wife was the introvert.  After that STROKE, it was a reversal of roles with the wifey now 'running the show' so to speak [and to his hubby's frustrations]📗📙📘

WHAT this tells us all is that in life, we can prioritize our career, our work, our business and commercial endeavors BUT one priority is often missed by many of us [and I was guilty of that for the longest time NOT until the recent years] and that's our proactive care of our health.  Taking a lift from that smartparenting featured article, allow me to paste EN TOTO the 'hard lessons' learned by the 33 year old [supposedly fit and prim] stroke-hit young dad💥💥💥

• SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL - This young dad used to wake up at 3AM [regardless as to what time he hit the sack the previous night, all because he has to complete his runs and exercise religiously, consistently.  After he got hit with that stroke, he now ensures to sleep at least eight hours each night, even using nasal strips and mouth tape to help in sleep quality
• CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - WHEN we're down [especially if our health gets hit], we will need all the support [NOT just financials] but equally important are the emotional support & words of encouragements💚💛💜

Lastly, this young dad realized how GRIT and SELF-DISCIPLINE really matters.  He had this realization with his life-changing conditions WHERE he had to literally 'RELEARN' things, even movements that he used to do so almost effortlessly BUT for the duration of his recovery, every single step and movement was an ardous torture, not withstanding the fact that the whole recovery process was paintakingly long❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Seriously, there is NO perfect advice that can guide us as to HOW much and HOW far and HOW fast should our frenetic pace in life should really be.  And WHAT complicates a supposedly simple equation here is that for one WHO could be athletic and even a health buff at that, we need to figure out WHEN to SLOW DOWN even all our physical conditionings and healthy exercises because the challenge here is that the threshold line is NOT even pre-determined to tell us WHEN TO SLOW DOWN😡😡😡

IF You Have To STOP Controlling and LET GO, LET IT GO!

 

WHO does NOT want to CONTROL?  BUT the bigger question is WHERE does that habitual and conditioned need to CONTROL came from in the first place?  As the confused lot would exclaim, WHAT are the signs of it in our bodies and lives and HOW can we let the CONTROL go and embrace more trust?  Verily true, that is NOT always an easy thing to do BUT it is necessary for us to evolve and grow into the being that the universe means us to be.  YES YES yowww, we owe it to ourselves to evolve.  So,IF You Have To STOP Controlling and LET GO, LET IT GO📗📙📘

Now, let's listen from the experts WHO are telling us that CONTROL IS UNCONSCIOUS.  They support this conclusion alongside the foundational nervous system called our PRIMAL BRAIN.  And as we look to those we count on to teach and protect us, we see that they control a great deal of their thoughts and emotions.  And DON'T be surprised WHEN they categorically state that that CONTROL ISN'T something that is done consciously as we learn things from our parents and even the generations before💧💧💧

We then get a sense of WHAT is and is NOT acceptable and we subconsciously learn to build walls around the parts of ourselves that are considered unacceptable.  So, the biggest thing we learn is that everyone around us is trying like hell NOT to feel their human vulnerability.  And uncertainty comes with being human and this then becomes something we tend to learn that we must fight against, which is an irony💥💥💥

YES, I grabbed this poster because it calls a spade a spade.  WHY if someone wants to leave?  WHY if you need support BUT it's NOT coming?  WHY if you thought you should be part of an event BUT you were uninvited?  WHY if it used to be, people seem to look upon you as someone up in a pedestal [if NOT Mount Rushmore] BUT these days, people seem oblivious that you exist right at their very nose?  We can go on and on, life can be damn hard WHEN we get confronted with these endless 'WHY's' with nary an answer😔😔😔

Our takeaway:  Zillion times we have been peppered with this harsh reminder:  THAT IF it is NOT meant for you OR me, so be it.  And the downside here is that if we attempt to exert more CONTROL to reign in those 'UNCONTROLLABLES' that we deem unacceptable and avoid feeling uncertainty and vulnerability, we may likely end up creating conflict with life itself.  So, IF YOU HAVE TO STOP CONTROLLING AND LET GO, LET IT GO❗❗❗

Turning A New Leaf Has Always Been An Enigma

 

WHEN I was a neophyte in the workforce, I envisioned myself getting into office early every day, spending several hours virtuously with my daily task list and then knocking off from work by 5pm, to drive home, weaving through the metro traffic gridlock [WHICH simply worsened beyond the seams till to date].  And I thought that I'll be Turning Over a New Leaf BUT that has always been an enigma📗📙📘

Instead, by the time I did hit the sack, I was lying awake all night, agonizing over everything I'd said that day, sleeping late and rolling into office come next day pretty much in bad shape.  And at that point, I was like drowning in self-recrimination.  Paradoxically, the office I dreamed off for the longest time now felt like the scene of a crime I had committed against myself.  And it seemed that I'd killed off my chance for a good day before I've ever gotten out of bed and by then, there was nothing I could do to resuscitate it.  So, I ended up occupying myself with some busywork💥💥💥

Surely, some of you would have had those similar mornings OR afternoons or weeks I went through.  True, there are good reasons WHY we wind up thinking about changes this way BUT the thing that turns this into a trap is that it is a problem that disguises itself as a solution.  Problem is, the more we try to do it right from the beginning, the more stuck we become😌😌😌

So, WHAT's our fix here?  I WON'T mince words here and I'll bluntly say that, WHERE possible, NEVER wait for you to end up like a dried, worn out leaf to egg you to TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.  In layman's terms, NEVER wait for the last alarm and final warning siren to push you into action.  YES, at times we may feel seemingly stuck BUT we DON'T have to stay stuck on the lame and 'inexcusable' excuse that we have been overtaken by events because that is just 'inexcusable'❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  The most apt parallelism we can draw here is in LEARNING itself because THAT DIDN'T stop WHEN we graduated and left our university's portals.  And THAT DIDN'T stop WHEN we started to receive our monthly pay cheque.  WHY?  Because everything in life has an EXPIRATION DATE.  Nothing is embedded in the cobbled stones and concrete.  We got to refresh ourselves, reinvent and reinforce our very own self even if TURNING A NEW LEAF has always been like an ENIGMA😊😊😊

Don't Pickup The Binoculars Until You Know What to See

 

YES YES Yowwww, there are times in our life WHEN we are super-duper eager-beaver to achieve the mother of all our successes.  BUT alas, there are those WHO, in the end, seem confused and lost.  And in the midst of the chaotic situation, they will be tempted to grab for binoculars, thinking and believing that once they get glued through it, they will find their clear path towards their cherished goal.  BUT Don't Pickup The Binoculars Until You Know What to See.  On the surface, things may look so simple to handle until you get bogged down and stalled.  And once you pick up your pieces, you come across forked roads and nowhere to go📘📙📗

BTW, this dilemma of seemingly getting lost along the way is NOT limited to teens OR those in their 30s OR even to the retired pensioners because figuring out your direction in life can and may happen at any point in one's life.  WHICH reminds me of some people shocked to learn that someone in his advanced age suddenly seems lost in life [just like teenagers].  So, WHEN do we become vulnerable to getting lost along the way???

Anytime you're NOT satisfied in life, dude. And quite surprisingly, studies show that the most prevalent root cause of us getting lost along the way is our unconsciousness and unawareness that we have breached from thinking to overthinking.  And quite an alarm because the studies showed that 73% of those between 25 to 35 years old and even 52% of those between 45 to 55 years old chronically OVERTHINK.  
And WHILE taking time to THINK about big life decisions is important, OVERTHINKING leads to paralysis , deferred decisions and inaction💧💧💧

There's a quite uncommon fallacy most of us are NOT aware of.  Many of us [wrongly] think that finding the right direction in life is something that happens to us.  BUT it's NOT!  WHICH means, at some point, we have to stop thinking about taking action and start acting.  And researches also show that one of the most common reasons people DON'T act is FEAR.  They're scared of messing up things and scared that things will NOT work out favorably for them💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  As this did happen a few to me before, WHAT I learned [the hard way] is to trust your own instincts.  As it is our primal internal urges and alarms that help keep us alive, let us listen [and take an extra step of interpreting] those urges especially WHEN an impending decision may seriously impact our well-being.  Surely you heard someone muttered like:  IF I WOULD HAVE JUST GONE WITH WHAT I THOUGHT, THIS WON'T HAVE HAPPENED'.  Truth is, nine times out of ten, there are tell-tale signs a.k.a. red flags and things that feel 'a little off' about a situation that we simply shrug off and dismiss.  Worse, let us NOT pickup the binoculars UNTIL we know WHAT to see💚💛💜

How Much Effort Is Needed For Relationships?

 

How Much Effort Is Needed For Relationships?  BTW, me thinks that RELATIONSHIPs should not be a boring thread today, right?  The perennial fallacy we have been hearing through the years is that RELATIONSHIPs are a tough nut to crack.  I'll say YES and NO.  YES because that's it IF we look it that way.  NO because of the same logic.  Otherwise, this is NO complex lab research with algorithms and machine language all over the place.  Instead, we need to just put things in the right perspective that building and maintaining healthy RELATIONSHIPS is an important part of looking after our mental health📗📙📘

There's one enduring fallacy that points to couples being afar as the very culprit of failed relationships.  NOT TRUE dude.  Instead, numerous studies showed that being far apart was the #1 factor for at least 70% of those enduring relationships.  Oh Oh.  Looks like we were looking from a different vantage point because all these data-driven conclusions are telling us that distance even reinforces human relationships💥💥💥

Now let's listen to these expert counselings:

• KNOW THYSELF - NOT knowing HOW to regulate yourself [like your emotions] is a huge handicap
• WALK THE TALK - PUT INTO WORK because healthy relationships are NOT found BUT built
• SET/RESPECTIVE BOUNDARIES - It's NOT only about WHAT you DON'T want OR like BUT it's also about letting folks around know what you appreciate

• TALK & LISTEN - Once communications breaks down, it is likely that all the dominos will fall, one by one as well.  This is WHERE communication channels become the very first factor that can MAKE OR BREAK relationships.  In practically all circumstances [YES, even in Geo-politics], once communication channels break down,  it's akin to the last nail on the coffin.
• LET GO OF CONTROL - Here's the thing.  A lot of life is about HOW we react to our experiences and encounters.  Knowing that you can only really control WHAT YOU DO  and NOT WHAT anyone else does will save you TIME + STRESS
• REFLECT & LEARN - Reacting to other people in a health way is the proven formula over and over again.  Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset

Our takeaway:  If there's one miss I often see as one chronic concern is that most failed relationships could NOT have totally collapsed ONLY IF there was mutuality in the communications channels.  BTW, this thread would have been moot and academic if there has always been that GOOD FAITH and ACT of GOODWILL between the relevant [warring] parties.  Unfortunately, all it takes is for one 'spoiler' and everything can go haywire.  SO, HOW MUCH EFFORT IS NEEDED FOR RELATIONSHIPs?  Not much, seriously💚💛💜

Formula 101: INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE = ACTION

 

This is a GIVEN:  All of us went through tons of Mathematics, Algebra and maybe even Calculus subjects.  BUT for one thing sure, NO one ever taught us that INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE equates to ACTION.  BUT people will retort back that this INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE  formula has got nothing to do with anything numerical.  Because both INSPIRATION and KNOWLEDGE are variables wherein it may exist at various levels, WHICH then in the end, may lead to planned ACTIONS that translate to executed ACTIONS.  BUT alas there's a gaping hole!!!

YES, I totally subscribe to this KNOWLEDGE IS POWER but hey hey hey dude, there is NO blanket guarantee that every body of KNOWLEDGE translates to ACTIONS, NO, just NOT AT ALL.  I've known first hand people WHO are unusually intellectually superior BUT sadly, that DOESN'T complete their book of life to reflect that their body of KNOWLEDGE did translate to ACTIONS at all!!!

WHY oh WHY?  Simple.  KNOWLEDGE by itself CAN'T and simply CAN'T stand by its own feet.  The second variable in the equation of that is the [hands down] INSPIRATION.  HOW in the world can you get into an ACTION PLAN if your level of INSPIRATION is somewhere near the gutter level?  Worst of worse is you will be unceremoniously 'flushed' out by the onrush of gutter water as it flows through it💥💥💥

WHY does INSPIRATION stand in the way prior to ACTIONS getting concretized?  YES, INSPIRATIONs refer to that evoked state of creativity WHICH implies MOTIVATION no less.  This is most evident in the field of art WHERE domain specific knowledge such as visual art has a major impact OR visual stimuli processing, reasoning and evaluation, and this is WHERE INSPIRATION is overlooked elsewhere❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's do a reversal of things here.  WHAT IF you are so damn inspired to become a successful professional [e.g. lawyer OR doctor] BUT in school, your academic performance is yielding results that are way far off even from the median?  HOW far can you go with all the INSPIRATION but with your foundational KNOWLEDGE probably just standing on one leg?  C'mon dude, let's agree that we need both INSPIRATION and KNOWLEDGE to lead us into ACTIONS [in life]💜💛💚