What We Gain From Pain

What We Gain From Pain

Who wishes for PAIN?  Absolutely NO one.  Whether PAIN is unbearable or NOT, PAIN is PAIN, regardless if it's physical, mental, emotional, or psychological.  Research studies show that because PAIN generally involves mind and the body, sometimes, therapies may have the capacity to alleviate PAIN, the lingering question is What Do We Gain From Pain💴💷💵

Studies also show that how we feel our PAIN is influenced by our genetic makeup, emotions, personality, and even lifestyle.  And it's also influenced by past experiences.  And if we've been in PAIN for awhile, our brain may have REWIRED itself to perceive PAIN signals even after the signals AREN'T being sent anymore.  At the Harvard Medical, they realized that techniques to manage PAIN actually benefited the person💊💊💊

Topping the list is DEEP BREATHING as it is central to all the techniques.  Moreover, the studies show that BREATHING facilitated to BREATHE OUT TENSION.  Secondly, an antidote to the stress response, which pumps up heart rate and puts the body's systems on high alert, the relaxation response turns down your body's reactions.  And after you close your eyes and relaxed all muscles, you can then concentrate on DEEP BREATHING💎💎💎

Meditating with guided imagery is another technique.  Breathing deeply will lead one to 'CALMING' music OR imagining a restful environment as that leads one to 'REFRESH'.  The next benefit that kicks in is MINDFULNESS when we pick up one activity, e.g. reading, walking in nature, gardening OR cooking, once you get immersed, MINDFULNESS kicks in📌📌📌

When we're struggling with whatever our PAIN is, we often tend to be fixated on WHAT we AREN'T able to do BUT POSITIVE THINKING kicks in WHEN we retrain our focus on WHAT we can do instead of WHAT you CAN'T will give you a more accurate view of oneself.  In a nutshell, regardless of the PAIN, there are calming ways so that that PAIN will NOT pin us down❗❗❗

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?

Do You REALLY Need Validation From Others?  Or do you still want people telling you, "YOU'RE GORGEOUS, YOU'RE EXCELLENT, YOU'RE VERY GOOD" and so on?  It's true we all enjoy VALIDATION and we all enjoy appreciation UNTIL one day you realize that you've become addicted to these feelings.  And you realize that they just DON'T satisfy you, they COMPLETE you.  Certainly that was NOT conscious BUT the truth is you have become addicted to this sense of VALIDATION as if it were a drug you got hooked up to since childhood💴💷💵

It is AS IF then it was drilled in your head that those outward things in life are WHAT you need to VALIDATE you.  Eventually, you will develop a subconscious thought process that you CAN'T live without it because without it, you would think you DON'T even know yourself anymore.  BUT once you get it, you're on a HIGH.  A HIGH you then seem to obsess over because it then feels SO GOOD to your underappreciated soul.  It then CALMS you, it puts you AT EASE by confirming that you are VALID.  And if you DON'T get it, you yearn for it even more BUT at that point, our REALIZATIONS must sink in📗📙📘

A REALIZATION that you're yearning from the WRONG places.  A REALIZATION that you're yearning for the WRONG reasons.  A REALIZATION that you're expecting VALIDATION from the WRONG people, all just to get your FIX.  Then, you end up telling yourself that you need just a little bit this time.  You'll then settle for anything that reminds you that indeed you are VALID💎💎💎

Then, all along you forget that YOU ALONE, just as you are, is SO MUCH.  There's SO MUCH to you.  There's SO MUCH life, excitement, beauty and love to learn inside of yourself if you just take a second to appreciate it.  If you weren't so preoccupied with everyone else seeing it, maybe you could.  You can then learn to live without the constant VALIDATION and you can learn WHAT you've depended on them to tell you all this time✅✅✅

Our takeaway for today?  We need to LEARN that we are VALID.  We can show ourself the love, attention, and care we deserve.  The love, attention, and care we deserve because we are VALID.  And most importantly, we DON'T need anyone or anything to confirm it anymore.  Yes, you'll learn slowly BUT surely that this external VALIDATION ISN'T necessary to live, and that life is actually quite beautiful without it.  So, DO YOU REALLY NEED VALIDATION FROM OTHERS❗❗❗

Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

Have Your Cake & Eat It Too

If there's a one-liner surely you have heard many times, it's YOU CAN'T Have Your Cake & Eat It Too but ironically, our thread right now is bannering Have Your Cake & Eat It Too.  At first, this sentiment is a bit confusing.  After all, WHY would you get the cake if you wouldn't plan to eat it anyway?  So, if the cake is yours, WHAT's stopping you from enjoying it?  BUT just like any good paradox, the devil is in the details.  The saying is a bit confusing because of a quirk in the syntax of grammar that leads us to read the sentence a bit wrongly💴💷💵

I'm sorry, I DON'T intend to turn our thread today like a grammar class BUT some slight touches just CAN'T be avoided.  WHY?  Because to say that Have Your Cake & Eat It Too highlights the paradox between WANTING versus HAVING.  In fact, WANTING and HAVING are often deemed as rivals.  They sometimes mean and work together BUT oftentimes end up butting heads and forcing us, the readers and end-users, to choose one or the other.  And that makes things murkier because once we get confused, the net result is that the resulting action we take can either be right OR wrong📗📙📘

The thing is, to HAVE and to WANT are desirable states.  When we HAVE something, it comes with security, predictability, control, and satisfaction.  And let's agree, many OR[ I think] everyone wants to be satisfied.  On the other hand, WANT is anticipation, desire, motivation, and pleasure.  WHEN we get WHAT we WANT, we experience something close to HAPPINESS.  And YES, many OR [I think] everyone wants to be HAPPY.  Yes, we can Have our Cake & Eat It Too💎💎💎

So, WHEN we WANT something, it reinforces the fact that we DON'T have it.  On the other hand, WHEN we HAVE something and are satisfied with it, we may NO longer want it.  Imagine the last time you were hungry.  You likely wanted food. Your mind began to summon up images of your favorite meal as you considered what you might eat✅✅✅

As that WANTING for food increases, so too does your desire and motivation to seek out a delicious meal.  So what's our takeaway today?  Sometimes, the irony of having what we want is that we end up getting MIXED-UP, akin to getting confused OR not having a firm decision.  Sometimes, IT'S ON US, IT'S US creating issues.  Have Your Cake & Eat It Too❗❗❗

Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

 Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

Mr Google defines Dopamine Detox as a process that involves FASTING from activities or pleasures that produce DOPAMINE so that the drive for quick rewards decreases.  Some people may do a BASIC Dopamine Detox which lasts for a few hours or days whereas others may go through a more extreme process that lasts months.   Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

Before going on, please allow me to clarify that whatever I'm sharing for now are coming straight from my opinion and NOT experience[s] because till to date, I DON'T see that I need to go on a Dopamine Detox, YET.  BUT everything starts within us to realize how much time [on average] do we spend on our gadget, our smart devices, on social media💴💷💵

But numerous studies resulted in common conclusions that Dopamine Detox activated his/her brain.  And the reason is just so obvious.  It's simply because they realize they got a lot of FREE TIME.  Second, it's because people COULDN'T rely on the many convenient features of our smart phones and devices.  Which means they had to be CREATIVE enough📗📙📘

And once their CREATIVITY kicked in, they had to find alternative ways to solve their problems that wouldn't have even arisen with a phone.  And that made them reflect on how people used to handle things before the era of smartphones.  And surprisingly, they realized that they accomplished a lot without the help of those smart phones and devices❎❎❎

Another realization that need NOT be debated was that they had LESS stress and MORE mindfulness.  Without that phone OR laptop, they couldn't stay in touch with people from their life.  And they felt that was a liberating feeling to NOT receive constant notifications and NOT have to worry about immediate replies.  Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

LATEST Damn Scam Scares

LATEST Damn Scam Scares

Courtesy of T-Mobile, I grabbed this infographics to magnify the fact that scammers are NOT stale or STATUS QUO players.  They tweak and tune their SCAM tactics well attuned to the seasonal calendar as it progresses.  And NOT to scare you all, early this morning, I was reading the Channelnewsasia piece about this super-scary sophisticated PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE techniques deployed and executed to a 'T' by these faceless virtual SCAMMERS.  Indeed, sharing these LATEST Damn Scam Scares📗📙📘

And while there is an unwritten rule NOT TO ACCEPT INCOMING calls from numbers not in your phone book, I beg to defer and disagree with that because, from my personal experience, I'd say roughly 2 to 3% of incoming calls [that means 2 to 3 out of 100 incoming calls] are indeed legitimate calls [although those numbers are/were NOT in my phone book].  Two days ago, I accepted an incoming call from an unknown number and the caller's accent sounded foreign to me [like an Indian lady]!@#$%?

At this point, you might get fidgety and ask me, SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?  Yeah, I did receive the call and indeed I was talking to a human [and not Chatbot AI] and straight up, she asked if I was interested for a 'side hustle' earning $$$$$$$.  My reaction?  Please send me your proposal via email.  And she insisted that she will send it via Viber.  VIBER indeed?  Think about it, why NOT via email❓❓❓

Good question.  WHY VIBER?  WHY not email?  Straight and simple answer.  Those probabilities of baiting you via viber instead via email is because it increases the risk of compromising the device you're using that time.  WHAT happened next? Nothing happened.  WHY?  Because that probable scammer knew it, NO WAY she can bait me via email channels❎❎❎

Back to the Channelnewsasia scam alert.  Scammers will use 'sophisticated PSYCHOLOGICAL techniques to exploit our deepest HUMAN VULNERABILITIES and bypass rational thought to tap into our own emotional responses'.  Trick samplings?  RANDOM CALLS.  CREATE SENSE of URGENCY, like bank account-related transaction, credit card about to be breached, a juicy offer about to expire, a final call for an overdue tax payable from the TAX MAN or even by building rapport with a casual talk.  Dude, be warned, scammers are more innovative than you think❗❗❗

To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

In today's globalized world of 'social proof', it is so easy for us to 'CONNECT' with strangers we meet over the internet.  Through a quick tweet or a 15-second snapshot, we can share out our problems with 'THE WORLD'.  You then tend to feel a SENSE OF FREEDOM and relief] that you've lifted the burden OFF your shoulders.  It's tru that sometimes, strangers can related to your problem[s] and voila, suddenly you realize that you got a 'CONNECTION'.  But hey dude, let's be REAL here.  WHAT are the chances of you meeting someone WHO feels exactly the way you do?  Statistical studies show that the probability is PROBABLY 1 out of 5000.  To Be Honest, PEOPLE DON'T CARE📗📙📘

So, if you've got 10,000 IG followers, wow, you got 2 chances out of 10,000, whew!  This reminds me of this anonymous QUOTE which we did catch me: "YOU'VE GOTTA DANCE LIKE THERE'S NOBODY WATCHING.  LOVE LIKE YOU'LL NEVER BE HURT, SING LIKE THERE'S NOBODY LISTENING, AND LIVE LIKE IT'S HEAVEN ON EARTH".  This quote has inspired me so much that I DON'T have any words to explain it.  Back in my school days, I'll frankly admit that I was afraid of being JUDGED by people.  And to get out of my comfort zone, I decided be a 'working student, splitting my time, stretching my active hours to let both ends meet, so to speak💴💷💵

Along the way as I had to mature faster than I should, I started to think of the people WHO are currently in my life and those WHO used to be in my life.  At some points, they've discussed their own 'troubles' with me and I with them.  BUT at a later point, I realized that as much as I care for them, their problems are NOT mine.  Indeed, I realized that I do care for people's well-being, truth is, their problems are NOT within my purview or responsibility💎💎💎

Relationship issues, financial instability, etc, it's just time for each of them to take ownership of their own lives.  And as much as I love and care for them, ONLY they can choose to change it.  SURE you can complain and rant to the world about your issues BUT if you DON'T do something to improve your life, it will remain as terrible as it is❌❌❌

Oh Oh Oh, of all quotable quotes, I like this the most:  WHEN PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE THEY DON'T CARE, BELIEVE THEM.  What's our takeaway today?  Sure we can complain and rant to the world about our issues BUT if we DON'T do something to improve our life, it will remain as terrible as it is.  Let's BE HONEST, PEOPLE DON'T CARE❎❎❎

Why Less Chatter Helps

 Why Less Chatter Helps

Less Chatter, Anyone?  Surely I'll get bashed if I push hard for this because this is a debate that can open the floodgates of arguments back and forth.  To clarify, our thread today ISN'T pinning down on social media, not really.   BUT instead, it's all about WORKING SMARTER and yet being MORE PRODUCTIVE.  We'd like to challenge the age-old idea that MORE HOURS at work equates to being MORE PRODUCTIVE💴💷💵

Oh yes, through these years, all that's been splashed all over us are two parallel lines with almost identical trajectories telling us that the MORE you worked, the MORE productive you are.  Frankly, this is an assumption, a MISTAKE, that we've all been making for the longest time.  And now there's more than a century's worth of work that overwork in the long run is BAD for people and organizations, and worse, even BAD for productivity📗📘📙

The challenge for us workers is that we got so hog-tied to the misplaced belief that the MORE work we put in, the MORE productive we are.  BUT hey, various studies had the same results, that we DON'T have to spend the rest of our life feeling exhausted from work, waiting for the weekend, and barely making ends meet every month. Now do we know why 'MONDAY BLUES' was coined💎💎💎

Instead, there are now SMART choices we can make now to set ourselves up well.  BUT this means we have to do HARD things today, and that's exactly WHY not everyone is tapering off from their pace.  Thing is, most people have a very short time horizon.  And if you're willing to look farther, you will likely make better choices today.  Choices that will improve your life✅✅✅

So, WHY do other people stand out?  First, they AIM FOR THE BEST.  Let's realize that there is a huge divide between the top tier performers versus the AVERAGE.  We can even look at basketball.  Many play the game BUT how many end up with multi-million dollar contracts @NBA?  So, our takeaway today is that with LESS CHATTER, we can accomplish MORE with LESS time❗❗❗

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength.  When hear that, often we'll shrug off our shoulders because we'll say, LET'S LEAVE THAT TO THE NEGOTIATORS.  BUT hey, that POSITION of STRENGTH is not the own turf of negotiators.  In our daily life, whether we interact in school, at home, at work or even in business and commercials, this very much applies as well💴💵💶

I remember when I left my native country to attend a week-long of interviews with several prospective employers in Singapore.  How did I handle things?  I made sure I played my best cards closest to my chest and that I made sure I was in control when the discussions will gradually veer into NEGOTIATIONS mode📙📗📘

When questions thrown to me on the table was zeroing-in on my salary expectations, I clearly laid down my POSITION of STRENGTH wherein in a frank but diplomatic manner, I bluntly admitted that while I'm angling for the job I'm applying for, it was NOT something I'll die for because, frankly, I had a secure job to go back then [in fact I was just on a week-long leave from work].  WHAT signals did I transmit?  It's that I like the job BUT I DIDN'T need the job💎💎💎

Going into a negotiation with someone WHO holds more power than you can be a daunting prospect.  WHETHER you are asking your boss for a new assignment OR attempting to land a major business deal with a client, your approach to the negotiation can dramatically affect your chances of SUCCESS✅✅✅

So, HOW can you make the best case for WHAT you want?  First off, dust off any rust within you as you do the reps.  Then, gather all your cards of Aces [as you need to play your cards pretty deftly and close enough to your chest].  When negotiation kickstarts, go for the 'jugular' as early as possible.  The longer it takes, your chances of pulling the rug will inversely diminish.  Do NEGOTIATE FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH❗❗❗

Why Complicate LIFE?

Why Complicate LIFE?

LIFE itself is already damn complicated BUT did we realize that from time to time. it is US who is guilty of worsening things? Why Complicate LIFE?  Well, we can say that life is a constant struggle NO matter how wealthy one is.  Suffering is the inevitable truth of life and we can only transcend this suffering by accepting it as an unremovable part of life.  It is perhaps the SIMPLICITY of LIFE which made it COMPLICATED in the first place💴💷💵

Guess we just COULDN'T comprehend HOW life came to be.  How did NOTHING become SOMETHING?  From the scale of the universe down to the scale of our lives, we always have been fascinated to know more.  It is within our nature to explore the UNKNOWN.  We spend so much time ripping this world apart in the search of answers to our old age questions.  BUT the more I think of it, the more I'm afraid I'll never be able to find the answers that countless others have sought📗📙📘

I couldn't help BUT think as well about the COMPLEXITY of everything we meet on a daily basis.  It's a similar feeling WHEN an event happens to you which feels too good to be true, right?  Then, we kind of stop and think: 'IS THIS REALLY IT?'  AREN'T there any secret catches to it that we're NOT aware of?  On one side, technology did help us BUT on the other side, it complicated our lives⌛⌛⌛

Thousands of smartphones to pick from, endless websites whose purpose are to attract your attention, business gurus and motivational speakers giving you the best ways to make a seven-figure income.  So, our challenge today really boils down to one thing and that's SIMPLIFYING our lives.  BUT living a simple life DOESN'T necessarily mean you're a minimalist who lives atop the mountains❓❓❓

To live a SIMPLE LIFE is to accept LIFE as it is.  LIFE simply exists and there is nothing more to figure out about it.  It's a step which can allow you to go from collecting experiences to actually LIVING THEM.  At times, we tend to overreact and complicate our own LIVES.  We got that tendency to complicate everything can rise from a fear that's deeply rooted in our minds.  Dude, LIFE IS SIMPLE.  YOU LIVE IT😃😃😃

Let's Be Like WATER

Let's Be Like WATER

I am not an avid follower of Chinese Culture but let's face it, there are numerous Chinese philosophers from whom we can pick up lessons in life.  Lao Tzu, a Chine Philosopher, is one WHO suggest that Let's Be Like WATER.  And to quote him: NOTHING UNDER HEAVEN IS AS YIELDING AS WATER.  AND YET IN ATTACKING THE HARD, THE UNYIELDING, NOTHING CAN SURPASS IT.  NOTHING CAN TAKE ITS PLACE.  THE WEAK OVERCOMES THE STRONG, THE SOFT SURPASSES THE HARD'💴💷💵

Indeed, WATER is one of the softest substances known to mankind, YET it can mold the landscape, pick up and toss about massive trees, and preserve life, helping plants grow and creatures survive harsh summers.  Indeed, WATER looks perfectly weak when it's calm BUT it is a force of nature.  Like WATER, we too, can be soft and still greatly impact the environment.  First, though, we must overcome the socially propelled notion that strength and softness are POLES APART📗📙📘

The late Bruce Lee, the Hong Kong-American martial artist and actor was very famously known to really admire WATER, and to quote him:  'EMPTY YOUR MIND, BE FORMLESS. SHAPELESS, LIKE WATER.  IF YOU PUT WATER INTO A CUP, IT BECOMES A CUP.  YOU PUT WATER INTO A BOTTLE, AND IT BECOMES A BOTTLE.  YOU PUT WATER IN THE TEAPOT, IT BECOMES A TEAPOT.  NOW, WATER CAN FLOW OR IT CAN CRASH.  BE WATER'.  And swinging back to himself and his life, Bruce Lee said 'IN ORDER TO CONTROL MYSELF, I MUST FIRST ACCEPT MYSELF BY GOING WITH AND NOT AGAINST MY NATURE'

Yip Man, the trainer and mentor of Bruce Lee, kept reminding him:  'LEARN THE ART OF DETACHMENT'.  As Bruce Lee was relentless to win at all costs but MASTER Yip saw potential problems in the horizon.  And if his student will continue on that same path, he knew it that things will NOT end well.  So, one phrase was a constant: 'STAY CALM, BRUCE'.  And after a certain training, MASTER Yip told Bruce Lee to go home and rest for a week✅✅✅

Then Bruce Lee tried meditating BUT it was to no avail.  His mind kept getting the better of him.  So he decided to go sailing on the water and while at sea, old memories kept flashing back in his head.  The teenager got extremely mad and clenched his fists and even punched the waters.  So, that became the turning point in his life and at that moment, he realized what MASTER Yip was trying to teach him.  While on the surface, the waters seem weak BUT in reality it was NOT.  Heard of shipwrecks which were caused by the harshness of the WATER?  That's our takeaway here.  WATER seems soft but it could even cut through even the hardest of surfaces.  So, like Bruce Lee, let us be like WATER, soft but hard and hardened enough if need be❗❗❗