Is BOREDOM Good For Us?

Is BOREDOM Good For Us?

IF there is a five-letter word I dread the most, it is the word ' B-O-R-E-D'! BUT hey, psychologists tell us that BOREDOM is Good For Us?  REALLY?  Sadly, since time immemorial, BOREDOM has gained that 'notoriety' and reputation for being a NEGATIVE state of mind BUT now, studies show that BOREDOM has its innate benefits for our mental health, like improving creativity, curiosity and even self-control.  BUT hey, let us be cautioned that everyone's brain is unique and different, so BOREDOM can be an individual experience.  NO WAY should we expect to replicate one's experience to his siblings or immediate family📗📙📘

Even neuro-scientists have joined the fray on the basis that our brain works 24/7.  Surprisingly to me as a layman, EVEN when we're asleep, the brain NEVER sleeps.  Instead, it is resolving solutions, making decisions and thinking about possibilities even WHEN you're NOT aware of it.  That explains WHY our brain is tagged as the 'ALWAYS ON' organ so devoted, it NEVER takes a break OR a vacation like we do😌😌😌

According to brain scientists, for every single ability you have, you have brain cells that are communicating even if you're just walking, you have brain cells communicating with the muscles to move.  So, YES, our brain is constantly at work.  They do eat and even create waste, so sleep is the optimal time for the waste to get cleared out between the cells so they can actually function.  Let's look at our daily life in relation to the garbage collectors WHEN they go on strike.  That's exactly the same thing going on with our brain cells💧💧💧

If we wake up to an alarm before your own system is ready to wake up, you would have cut part of a cycle of sleep off that your brain wanted.  So, sleep is all about rejuvenating our brain.  An alarming study showed that sleep restrictions actually amplify your anger.  It's AS IF the brain gets mad WHEN it DOESN'T get the rest it needs.  You might wonder, do you just SIT AND DO NOTHING?  Oh Oh Oh, I can imagine you yourself rolling your eyes, glancing at your TO-DO list.  You're up to eyeballs at work, deadlines looming and you CAN'T even find enough hours in the day to juggle emails, work remotely and even 'home school' your kids.  It's counter-intuitive BUT doing nothing is productivity's 'BRAKES' to do something💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Allow me to share this very recent observation I had here at home WHEN we got hit with an outage by our ISP [internet service provider].  And I did notice my daughter's BOREDOM was getting stretched, so I even egged her to turn-on her room's aircon BUT I ended up doing it myself.  In a bit, I noticed she was tinkering with her tons and tons of 'little-little' stuff of accessories and she started piecing together to design and started customizing bracelets she will gift to her close friends.  That was just a typical but classic scenario WHEN boredom can be that catalyst for us to throttle up our CREATIVITY.  Oh Oh Oh, for vapers and smokers WHO will immediately light up a cigarette stick OR even grab a shot of alcohol just because he's BORED, better be FOREWARNED and forearmed [no offense meant here]❗❗❗

The Days BEHIND Us Determine The Days AHEAD Of Us

The Days BEHIND Us Determine The Days AHEAD Of Us

I was watching the Netflix thriller SNIPER ULTIMATE KILL and while mourning a fellow sniper who committed suicide even if he was at the TOP OF HIS GAME, a fellow sniper murmured that The Days BEHIND Us Determine The Days AHEAD Of Us.  Well said and I immediately thought that's my thread for today because it is damn reflective of our life, the days behind us seem a distant past WHILE many of us are preoccupied with the days ahead📗📙📘

IF Philosophy is good at one unique thing, it is pointing things out that seem so obvious BUT we humans DON'T even notice them and making them suddenly seem unnervingly strange.  So, the $64 question is: WOULD YOU RATHER THAT YOUR BEST DAYS WERE AHEAD OF YOUR, OR BEHIND YOU?  There's just NO right OR wrong answer here because at the end of the day, this is your personal decision BUT to state the obvious, of course we'd all prefer our best days to be ahead of us.  Heard of the typical career of sales folks?  Probably you heard of the top notch sales executive WHO always rakes in top honors during the sales recognition.  BUT here's the BUT💥💥💥

This is NOT news at all.  Each time the top sales executive achieves the mark, in the next round, his bosses will move the goal post and he has to achieve that new target.  And that vicious cycle will never end, trust me.  The thing is, nobody wants to think that they have already peaked.  And that might even seem perfectly rational.  After all, if your future is going to be better than your past, your life overall will ultimately contain more goods than it would IF things just coast along as they are, or worse, if things started to decline OR even just dip.  BUT this is WHERE those weirdly artificial thought experiments really come into their own💚💛💜

Having said this, psychologists have recently uncorked something yet unbeknownst to us all.  That generally, we humans are biased towards the future, a bias that seems so deep we DON'T even notice it, a bias that can at least in theory lead us to act against our overall best interests.  As an analogy, let's take a bee sting that hurts the same as Tuesday as it does on Thursday regardless WHETHER today is a Wednesday OR Friday.  So, WHY would we rather be stung yesterday than tomorrow???

Our takeaway:  Logic-wise, this bias seems to work differently depending on WHETHER we're thinking about our own future OR those of others.  Respected philosopher Caspar Hare was even quoted that our bias seems different depending on WHETHER we're near OR far from the person WHOSE welfare we're considering.  In a quite philosophical train of thought, we often say that someone is 'gone too soon' BUT we never lament that someone was 'born too late', right?  UNLESS we mean that they would have thrived better in an earlier epoch than they do now.  YES, just as non-existence is non-existence, just as pain is pain.  YES dude, THE DAYS BEHIND US DETERMINE THE DAYS AHEAD OF US😊😊😊

When Do You Cross The RUBICON?

When Do You Cross The RUBICON?

Many of us reside either in valleys, peaks or even along the coastal lines.   Some of us reside in landlocked cities while some live in either islets or in bigger islands like Hawaii OR Long Island.  Regardless, one day, we'll be asked this one:  When Do You Cross The RUBICON?  Will you dare to accept the challenge and argue that NO way you'll cross it one day?  Be forewarned dude, just DON'T eat your words because in our life, it is a given that from time to time, we need to make decisions, even for decisions we tried to avoid and delayed📗📙📘

I can personally attest countless times WHEN I did bear witness to people WHO dared NOT to cross the RUBICON, avoiding making decisions and WHERE it CAN'T be avoided, delaying and delaying the game.  Alas, as the old cliche goes, YES YOU CAN HIDE BUT YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY.  Such is the harshness of life.  NEVER run away from life's turmoil's and travails because one day, it will catch up on you💧💧💧

Relationships are good case studies.  There is this utter false belief that things will fix by itself, THAT you DON'T need to be confrontational, THAT you DON'T need to be hot-headed, THAT you DON'T need to be that impatient because one day, one night, the starts will align and voila, you would have overcome that lingering problem that you did avoid through the weeks and months.  If you will challenge me of stories that there were 'horror stories' that turnaround around favorably, those are outliers dude!!!

The analogy of decisions in life that do frighten people can be pegged to real-life situations WHEN people WHO come across large bridges would be overwhelmed with fear.  Technically called GEPHYROPHOBIA, that's the abnormal and persistent fear of crossing bridges.  Mix that with ACROPHOBIA, that fear of heights, crossing the bridge can become a terrifying experience.  Let's map that to our decision-making💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  WHILE it is not easy enough to grapple with decisions that may have its far-reaching implications, allow me to share HOW I handled that dilemma before.  I talked to myself and I challenged myself to have, at the very least, two options, like it's a go OR not, a yes OR no, a push OR pull.  And I DIDN'T give myself an option to skip OR avoid making a decision.  Obviously, I always reminded myself that I need to arrive at an INFORMED DECISION, devoid of assumptions and guesses.  And lastly, I reminded myself that WHEN I CROSS THE RUBICON, there's no turning back❗❗❗

Can We Make Life UNCOMPLICATED?

Can We Make Life UNCOMPLICATED? BUT hey dude, ISN'T life that SIMPLE enough?  Yes it is absolutely SIMPLE BUT here's a big BUT.  It gets COMPLICATED when we 'UNSIMPLE' it.  And psychologists all point to the same corner in our life, WHICH is, our BELIEF SYSTEM.  They point out the problem starts WHEN we think something, feel something else, and do something else COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  That is a classic case of COMPLICATED humans, if we may say so📗📙📘

WHAT's quite perplexing is WHY we human beings would sometimes wait for the 'NOW or NEVER' situations in life.  MAYBE because we DON'T do the things we say we are going to do.  We do things our BELIEF SYSTEM approves of.  Indeed, there are multiple layers of our human nature BUT the undeniable fact is that the core remains the same.  And that 'CORE' mindset is WHO you are.  Like you can tell yourself that you want to travel, see and explore the world BUT if your CORE BELIEF is that you cannot survive outside of your family, your circle of friends and your 'CERTIFIED ZONE', then, NO WAY Jose, you are NOT going anywhere, that I can bet.  So, WHERE are we at that point?  This becomes tricky indeed💧💧💧

So, WHERE do we go from here?  If we want to achieve something, BUT cannot get yourself to work toward it, then consider to start by taking that 'TINIEST' action you can.  And psychologists advise that we take this path on a CONSISTENT basis, our brain will start 'ACCEPTING' the fact and be like "THAT'S WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO"💦💦💦

And to borrow the technical jargon of experts, from thereon, there is NO ESCAPING because that message will reach each cell of your body and eventually, slowly, gradually, you will have WHATEVER it takes that you want.  At hindsight, we humans tend to think that we can do something on our own and that we are independent enough.  Firstly, it's all a lie.  We are interdependent creatures.  We need the help of other people.  More importantly, we need every cell of our body to believe in the same thing as we do.  Our brain, cell and soul should be aligned💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHILE we keep saying that life is fairly SIMPLE, it is a 'fact of life' that from time to time, there are COMPLICATIONS that are part and parcel of the realities in life.  BUT the least we can do is to stick to our CORE BELIEFs.  Follow WHAT you want.  DO WHAT heeds your wants.  Yes, there are always external factors looming all around you BUT at the end of the day, you should NOT lose control of your steering wheel.  You got to fully CONTROL and maneuver it to the direction you want to thread.  Just DON'T COMPLICATE LIFE, if at all😌😌😌

Unshackle Yourself. YOU've Got To Be YOU!

Unshackle Yourself.  YOU've Got To Be YOU!

Your parents want you to be a monk OR a priest.  OR your spouse/partner wants you take that 'path'.  Your best friend thinks you should take a pivot.  Your workmates believe that you got to low-key.  Your competitors want you to step off from the gas to give them a 'chance to shine'.  WHERE do you go then? Unshackle Yourself.  YOU've Got To Be YOU!  NO one else can tell you, direct you or throw military-like instructions WHERE you got to toe the line📗📙📘

This reminds me of Bill Gove, touted around the world as the 'FATHER OF PROFESSIONAL SPEAKING'.  BUT I WON'T spend time to banner his credentials though.  Instead, I did grab his poster which screams:  IF I WANT TO BE FREE, I'VE GOT TO BE ME.  NOT THE ME I THINK YOU THINK I SHOULD BE.  NOT THE ME I THINK MY WIFE THINGS I SHOULD BE.  NOT THE ME I THINK MY KIDS THINK I SHOULD BE.  IF I WANT TO BE FREE, I'VE GOT TO BE ME.  No flowery words there but it speaks volumes because many of us end up OFF-TRACK because someone else expects YOU to be YOU based on WHAT they want YOU to be YOU!@#$%?

BUT hey, do you believe that YOU can reinvent yourself and change WHO you perceive yourself to be and your relationship to the world?  OR do you believe that you are destined to carry on as the person you have always been?  Half of you probably like WHO you are BUT some of you might still feel stuck in a rut, locked in an unsatisfying relationship, OR just plain ridden with guilt and self-hatred???

HOW often you hear this refrain:  I CAN'T HELP IT.  THAT'S JUST WHO I AM.  OR HE'LL NEVER CHANGE.  And the truth is, he might NOT.  BUT you can make a different choice for yourself if that is WHAT you want to do.  There are always key turning points in people's lives that make a difference in relation to WHO we become.  Some events are traumatic and painful and take us into 'dark places' WHERE we might wander for years❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  WHATEVER travails we wade through, I fervently believe that some of us need to take that journey so that we can chart a course back to the light of living freely and with joy.  Some of us, after we heal our own lives, bring pieces of that map back with us to pass on to others.  In the shortest words possible, we DON'T have to string our days together, feeling like we are the same person from Day-1 till the next, till our last days.  You just DON'T have to.  There is absolutely NO reason WHY you have to feel the same way tomorrow [WHATEVER transpired in your life today].  You gotta UNSHACKLE YOURSELF.  YOU'VE GOT TO BE YOU, dude❗❗❗

That 'VOICEMAIL ANXIETY'

 

WHO loves VOICEMAILS?  NOT me, NOT these days. Factually, VOICEMAILS were like my 'oxygen' at work many donkey years ago.  Every morning, WHEN I stepped into my office, first things first after my room's 'intelligent functions' [lights, AC, laptop startup, etc] have their SOD [start of day] stuff.  And YES, during those routine startups, I'll get into my Cisco phone and very patiently, retrieve and play VOICEMAILs. Oh, That 'VOICEMAIL ANXIETY'📗📙📘

In today's world, WHEN we think of protecting ourselves from hackers a number of obvious things will creep into our minds.  LIKE we know the dangers [APOLOGIES I'll tag it as more a danger than just a risk] of using public WIFIs, weak password, and having poor firewall security.  We also know better than to click on suspicious links OR mount random USB drives that we happen to find lying around😃😃😃

Hell, some of us might even take Xtra precautionary measures like using a VPN tunnel, 2FA [2-factor authentication if available] and even reaching out to our mobile phone providers/carriers for other security hardening measures like putting in protocols in place to prevent 'SIM JACKING'.  Let's face it though.  With all our smart devices, social media accounts, and IOT [the INTERNET of THINGS], there are just endless avenues a hacker can take if they really want to try and hack us, God forbid🙏🙏🙏

Very factual, we certainly CAN'T just spend all day long worrying about everywhere we might end up as vulnerable and for the most part, we DON'T have to.  We tend to rest our heads on the shoulders of the big tech giants in Google, Amazon, Meta's FB, Verizon and the like.   At the end of the food chain, there we are, still clinging in to VOICEMAILs?  Without unduly raising apprehensions and fears, even the brightest tech companies often overlook things that can leave us with our pants down, so to peak💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  You might retort back like 'JOKES ON YOU MY FRIEND, I DIDN'T EVEN SETUP MY VOICEMAIL ON MY PHONE'.  On that note, EVEN IF you DIDN'T, it DOESN'T mean that you DON'T have a voicemail  because most cellular providers automatically provision a voicemail and IF you DIDN'T set it up, you are likely even MORE vulnerable.  Hold your breath.  NO ONE can stop now those hackers to setup your VOICEMAIL [you're right, hackers can tap on that freeware 'PhoneInfoga' as they rummage through and extract your valuable info [both from your active and even inactive number].  End of story:  I will leave things up to you as I DON'T want to drive you scared by now💥💥💥

Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs!

 Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs!

True, the world we live in is made up of opposites.  LIke hot-cold, sweet-sour, males-females, and the list keeps on going and these dualities are most clearly divided at the broad extremes.  BUT life is NOT always about black OR white BUT about grey as well.  And let's take extra steps.  Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs as well.  True, black and white are seen as the comfort zones and grey and even the blues and greens as the unknown or worst, they are tagged as the danger zones.  WHY?  It's because our societies never taught us that it's fine to possess the qualities of grey and the blues and greens in life📗📙📘

WHAT is befuddling here is WHAT we believe and affirm to is that day is with light and the night is without light.  BUT BUT BUT there are those in-between times called dusk and dawn WHERE it is quite difficult to say if it is actually a day OR a night, right?  WHENEVER the sun goes down, do we really officially call it evening?  WHEN before the sun breaks the skyline, do we then call it daytime?  YES, these are unsettled focuses in the world to the majority of us and admittedly, things get murkier💥💥💥

NOW, let's get back to our lives.  WHEN we are in that state WHERE we're dealing with grey areas NO matter WHERE you are with your grey areas, we always need to remember that we are NOT so far enough such that we CAN'T figure it out and it's NEVER too late for the things to settle down and get clearer enough until we GO and FIND THE BLUEs and the GREENs as well.  YES, we DON'T need to be labelled OR feel broken because of the fact that we're dealing with some stuff OR problem in our life that is creating OR causing those hindrances.  True, life is NOT a bed of roses NOT is it a bed of thorns.  Happy and sad moments both are a part of life, BUT what matters the most is HOW do we prepare ourselves for it😊😊😊

One thing we tend to miss at times is the fact that we all possess a choice about WHAT we can control and WHAT all we cannot.  Exercise upon the action of WHAT we know is right to do as per our knowledge.  In fact, that is our biggest asset we all have in our lives WHEN it comes to the grey areas.  It is very easy for us to label something as good OR bad so we carry on to do so without giving a thought about it and figuring out that WHAT it really is and HOW it matters to us.  True, thinking in extremes can cause more NEGATIVITY in our lives.  It's okay to feel your feelings, as we all are meant to feel different emotions as humans.  Hiding behind the mask OR bearing the blinders will only keep the problems alive [and unresolved] in your life.  In the end, we WON'T be able to overcome it if we will certain the same thinking and recoil on it all over again❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Allow me to copy and paste verbatim these excerpts which are 'spot on' for us to learn and keep in mind:

• NEVER be afraid to speak out about your struggles or feelings
• We're empowered to make decisions, FOCUS is what we need
• WHEN we need help, it DOESN'T mean we're falling apart
• Those LIKES, FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS in social media DO NOT matter at all, period.  Let's go back to true friendships
• WHATEVER you achieved from hard work, you deserve it dude
• Living a happy life is NOT as tough as it might seem to be

Dude, GO FIND THE BLUEs and the GREENs in life❗❗❗

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job. LOVE Your Job!

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job.  LOVE Your Job!

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job.  LOVE Your Job!  NO sirrrrrrrs.  I am NOT advocating you to put your job ahead of your family responsibilities.  NOT at all.  I will be the last one to be egging you to relegate your families behind the back.  Instead, in the current talent revolution, there's this renewed talent revolution, there's renewed focus on jobs, WHETHER you're happy and loving WHAT you do📗📙📘

Frankly, if ever you are still part of the workforce, it just makes sense and worth enough to be giving intentional thought as to WHETHER you LOVE your work and WHETHER it's fulfilling.  It is, after all, a majority of WHERE you spend your time.  YES, there are proven ways to "FALL IN LOVE" with your job, OR even just like it a little more.  BUT it's also important to know there is simply NO perfect job💦💦💦

Analogous to human relationships, the dynamics in the workplace is NOT that different.  As in any relationship, to borrow legal jargon, there has to be a 'MEETING OF THE MINDS' up front.  In the shortest words possible, there has to be mutuality.  Both parties must feel and expect that such a relationship and interaction is beneficial💥💥💥

Surely, there are two sides of the coin.  There will always be things you love as well as things you dislike.  The best formula for loving your work is to find as much alignment as you can between WHAT you love to do and WHAT you must spend time on.   YES it is quite unlikely you'll ever find that 'PERFECT JOB'.  Sorry dude, that is a pipe dream no less.  BUT you can enjoy WHAT you do most of the time though.  And it will be unrealistic to expect you'll be happy every single day.  Definitely, you'll have those UPs and DOWNs, those EBBs and FLOWs.  BUT eventually, you can find fulfillment most of the time💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Even, for the sake of argument, that your job is NOT that ideal, you can learn to love it.  I remember this lyrics in an old song, 'IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH'.  And certainly, this can apply to your work circumstances.  So HOW?  LOVE your contribution.  NO matter WHAT you're doing, your work is a way you express your talents and make a contribution to your community.  Performing well s correlated with happiness, so embrace your own skills and be confident about WHAT you do well.  The job you have now may NOT be your endgame and you may wish for more BUT you can appreciate all that you have today!!!

Pick Your Lane!

WHY so progress in our respective journeys differently?  WHY do others end up leading the pack?  WHY do some remain to be cellar dwellers in the rat race?  And WHY do others get stalled in the middle of the pack?  Taking things literally, if you're driving in the freeways and you're in any of these predicaments, it's your choice you're trapped in your own hole.  WHY is this happening to some of us?  It's because we fail to appreciate the need to Pick Your Lane!  It's your choice BTW.  Picking up a lane DOESN'T mean being trapped in one choice📗📙📘

Let's swing over to the gym.  You'll probably see a couple always there together, both matching each other in terms of being muscle heads.  And she's as equally jacked as he.  They lift together and they stalk about their macros loud enough.  And critique each others form.  It's clear they are all about fitness and bodybuilding.  And they're happy, WHAT with all their PDA💦💦💦

Oh, couples like that find a niche to fit into together, morphing into one LANE.  They build their identity as a couple.  Oh, if you love rock climbing instead, chances are a good potential match will be at the rock climbing gym.  SUCH IS LIFE.  For us to go full throttle, we got to PICK OUR LANE.  If Tom, Dick and Harry are quite famous for their lives running on a the fast LANE, you just DON'T hop on the bandwagon UNLESS and UNTIL you're cocksure that you can comfortably synchronize with Tom, Dick and Harry.  WHAT IF you can't catch up to their pace and you end up huffing and puffing?  On the other hand, is your pace in life more akin to the notorious turtles near the beaches???

WHICH reminds me of my previous years WHERE I was figuring out to PICK MY LANE.  Did I seek counsel?  Did I hop-in and hop-off erratically?  OR did I simply join the bandwagon?  NO sirrrrrrrrs, I deemed it prudent enough to face my own mirror and ask myself, WHAT'S MY PACE and from there I tasked myself to PICK MY LANE based on my pace.  That led me to reach my decision-points comfortably aligned to my pre-set pace💥💥💥

YES, BTW, you DON'T be apprehensive to get stuck in your LANE.  Remember, as in any freeway, there are lay-bays or DROP OFF LANEs but be cautioned that you'll be there purely for DROP OFF purposes.  If you're in the F1 Race with Lewis Hamilton, you can get those respites in those PIT STOPS but never lose sight that you need to get back to your LANE because you CAN'T and MUSN'T lose sight that your singular focus is to successfully finish your journey via the LANE you picked to thread on.  If you haven't made up your mind, PICK YOUR LANE, dude❗❗❗

How Far Can We Be An 'OPEN BOOK'

 

As always, we always hear that we should be an OPEN BOOK because that's spelled T-R-A-N-S-P-A-R-E-N-C-Y.  Verily true, every mobile app these days has always that 'SHARE' functionality.  NO wonder, sharing is all over the place.  And it's fine, we love to SHARE parts of our lives with others as it even indirectly helps us connect and even reinforce relationships.  BUT NOT everything needs to be said out loud, dude.  Some things are better kept to yourself, NOT because they are bad BUT because SHARING them may lead to misunderstandings, unnecessary drama OR worst, even regret [LIKE, 'MY BAD, WHY DID I CLICK THE 'SHARE'], ouch📗📙📘

Psychology experts do tell us that keeping certain thoughts, plans and personal details private can actually make us happier, and more AT PEACE.  LIKE your biggest goals.  True, we would feel proud to trumpet our goals and ambitions BUT sharing them TOO SOON might actually work against us.  Remember even as casual as it may be, if before stepping out of your home, you happily tell your neighbor [WHO'S idling around the vicinity] that you will be going to your fav clothes shop as you're eyeing a nice dress you saw in their online shop.  Trust me, on your way home, before you blurt out, it's your neighbor WHO'll ask you if you managed to buy that dress!@#$%?

 BTW, yes you can OPEN YOUR BOOK but just like in Meta's FB, you can initiate an 'ONLY ME' post, right?  I remember the jargon of experts WHO said that WHEN we announce our 'BIG PLANS', our brain gets a little dopamine boost, similar to WHAT happens WHEN we actually achieve something.  And WHERE does the problem lie?  That very fleeting satisfaction [of our brain] can quickly and easily dissipate and replace that motivation we needed all along.  Instead of telling everyone your goals, keep it to yourself and LET YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK FOR ITSELF💚💛💜

LIKE our good deeds.  Doing something kind for someone else should come from the heart [and NOT from our SELF-RECOGNITION].  YES, in an assured way, I can stand on this because my lips remain sealed with regard the good deeds I have extended to other people all through the years.  BTW, without breaching confidentiality, when my sibling was overseas at that time, I visited our hometown and without giving any clue, I advised his wife to accompany me to the supermarket.  And I drove her back only after her supermarket cart was LITERALLY overflowing with goodies to restock her small store.  Even as we speak now, I never shared this to my sibling💥💥💥

OH, how about your insecurities?  We all have things we're self-conscious about BUT sharing them with the WRONG people can do more harm than good.  There's this psychology jargon tagged "LOOKING-GLASS SELF" which means we tend to see ourselves based on HOW others react to us.   WHOAHHH!  Your finances?  Your past mistakes?  WHAT the hell, WHY do you want to switch from ONLY ME to PUBLIC???