When Do You Cross The RUBICON?

When Do You Cross The RUBICON?

Many of us reside either in valleys, peaks or even along the coastal lines.   Some of us reside in landlocked cities while some live in either islets or in bigger islands like Hawaii OR Long Island.  Regardless, one day, we'll be asked this one:  When Do You Cross The RUBICON?  Will you dare to accept the challenge and argue that NO way you'll cross it one day?  Be forewarned dude, just DON'T eat your words because in our life, it is a given that from time to time, we need to make decisions, even for decisions we tried to avoid and delayed📗📙📘

I can personally attest countless times WHEN I did bear witness to people WHO dared NOT to cross the RUBICON, avoiding making decisions and WHERE it CAN'T be avoided, delaying and delaying the game.  Alas, as the old cliche goes, YES YOU CAN HIDE BUT YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY.  Such is the harshness of life.  NEVER run away from life's turmoil's and travails because one day, it will catch up on you💧💧💧

Relationships are good case studies.  There is this utter false belief that things will fix by itself, THAT you DON'T need to be confrontational, THAT you DON'T need to be hot-headed, THAT you DON'T need to be that impatient because one day, one night, the starts will align and voila, you would have overcome that lingering problem that you did avoid through the weeks and months.  If you will challenge me of stories that there were 'horror stories' that turnaround around favorably, those are outliers dude!!!

The analogy of decisions in life that do frighten people can be pegged to real-life situations WHEN people WHO come across large bridges would be overwhelmed with fear.  Technically called GEPHYROPHOBIA, that's the abnormal and persistent fear of crossing bridges.  Mix that with ACROPHOBIA, that fear of heights, crossing the bridge can become a terrifying experience.  Let's map that to our decision-making💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  WHILE it is not easy enough to grapple with decisions that may have its far-reaching implications, allow me to share HOW I handled that dilemma before.  I talked to myself and I challenged myself to have, at the very least, two options, like it's a go OR not, a yes OR no, a push OR pull.  And I DIDN'T give myself an option to skip OR avoid making a decision.  Obviously, I always reminded myself that I need to arrive at an INFORMED DECISION, devoid of assumptions and guesses.  And lastly, I reminded myself that WHEN I CROSS THE RUBICON, there's no turning back❗❗❗

Can We Make Life UNCOMPLICATED?

Can We Make Life UNCOMPLICATED? BUT hey dude, ISN'T life that SIMPLE enough?  Yes it is absolutely SIMPLE BUT here's a big BUT.  It gets COMPLICATED when we 'UNSIMPLE' it.  And psychologists all point to the same corner in our life, WHICH is, our BELIEF SYSTEM.  They point out the problem starts WHEN we think something, feel something else, and do something else COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  That is a classic case of COMPLICATED humans, if we may say so📗📙📘

WHAT's quite perplexing is WHY we human beings would sometimes wait for the 'NOW or NEVER' situations in life.  MAYBE because we DON'T do the things we say we are going to do.  We do things our BELIEF SYSTEM approves of.  Indeed, there are multiple layers of our human nature BUT the undeniable fact is that the core remains the same.  And that 'CORE' mindset is WHO you are.  Like you can tell yourself that you want to travel, see and explore the world BUT if your CORE BELIEF is that you cannot survive outside of your family, your circle of friends and your 'CERTIFIED ZONE', then, NO WAY Jose, you are NOT going anywhere, that I can bet.  So, WHERE are we at that point?  This becomes tricky indeed💧💧💧

So, WHERE do we go from here?  If we want to achieve something, BUT cannot get yourself to work toward it, then consider to start by taking that 'TINIEST' action you can.  And psychologists advise that we take this path on a CONSISTENT basis, our brain will start 'ACCEPTING' the fact and be like "THAT'S WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO"💦💦💦

And to borrow the technical jargon of experts, from thereon, there is NO ESCAPING because that message will reach each cell of your body and eventually, slowly, gradually, you will have WHATEVER it takes that you want.  At hindsight, we humans tend to think that we can do something on our own and that we are independent enough.  Firstly, it's all a lie.  We are interdependent creatures.  We need the help of other people.  More importantly, we need every cell of our body to believe in the same thing as we do.  Our brain, cell and soul should be aligned💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHILE we keep saying that life is fairly SIMPLE, it is a 'fact of life' that from time to time, there are COMPLICATIONS that are part and parcel of the realities in life.  BUT the least we can do is to stick to our CORE BELIEFs.  Follow WHAT you want.  DO WHAT heeds your wants.  Yes, there are always external factors looming all around you BUT at the end of the day, you should NOT lose control of your steering wheel.  You got to fully CONTROL and maneuver it to the direction you want to thread.  Just DON'T COMPLICATE LIFE, if at all😌😌😌

Unshackle Yourself. YOU've Got To Be YOU!

Unshackle Yourself.  YOU've Got To Be YOU!

Your parents want you to be a monk OR a priest.  OR your spouse/partner wants you take that 'path'.  Your best friend thinks you should take a pivot.  Your workmates believe that you got to low-key.  Your competitors want you to step off from the gas to give them a 'chance to shine'.  WHERE do you go then? Unshackle Yourself.  YOU've Got To Be YOU!  NO one else can tell you, direct you or throw military-like instructions WHERE you got to toe the line📗📙📘

This reminds me of Bill Gove, touted around the world as the 'FATHER OF PROFESSIONAL SPEAKING'.  BUT I WON'T spend time to banner his credentials though.  Instead, I did grab his poster which screams:  IF I WANT TO BE FREE, I'VE GOT TO BE ME.  NOT THE ME I THINK YOU THINK I SHOULD BE.  NOT THE ME I THINK MY WIFE THINGS I SHOULD BE.  NOT THE ME I THINK MY KIDS THINK I SHOULD BE.  IF I WANT TO BE FREE, I'VE GOT TO BE ME.  No flowery words there but it speaks volumes because many of us end up OFF-TRACK because someone else expects YOU to be YOU based on WHAT they want YOU to be YOU!@#$%?

BUT hey, do you believe that YOU can reinvent yourself and change WHO you perceive yourself to be and your relationship to the world?  OR do you believe that you are destined to carry on as the person you have always been?  Half of you probably like WHO you are BUT some of you might still feel stuck in a rut, locked in an unsatisfying relationship, OR just plain ridden with guilt and self-hatred???

HOW often you hear this refrain:  I CAN'T HELP IT.  THAT'S JUST WHO I AM.  OR HE'LL NEVER CHANGE.  And the truth is, he might NOT.  BUT you can make a different choice for yourself if that is WHAT you want to do.  There are always key turning points in people's lives that make a difference in relation to WHO we become.  Some events are traumatic and painful and take us into 'dark places' WHERE we might wander for years❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  WHATEVER travails we wade through, I fervently believe that some of us need to take that journey so that we can chart a course back to the light of living freely and with joy.  Some of us, after we heal our own lives, bring pieces of that map back with us to pass on to others.  In the shortest words possible, we DON'T have to string our days together, feeling like we are the same person from Day-1 till the next, till our last days.  You just DON'T have to.  There is absolutely NO reason WHY you have to feel the same way tomorrow [WHATEVER transpired in your life today].  You gotta UNSHACKLE YOURSELF.  YOU'VE GOT TO BE YOU, dude❗❗❗

That 'VOICEMAIL ANXIETY'

 

WHO loves VOICEMAILS?  NOT me, NOT these days. Factually, VOICEMAILS were like my 'oxygen' at work many donkey years ago.  Every morning, WHEN I stepped into my office, first things first after my room's 'intelligent functions' [lights, AC, laptop startup, etc] have their SOD [start of day] stuff.  And YES, during those routine startups, I'll get into my Cisco phone and very patiently, retrieve and play VOICEMAILs. Oh, That 'VOICEMAIL ANXIETY'📗📙📘

In today's world, WHEN we think of protecting ourselves from hackers a number of obvious things will creep into our minds.  LIKE we know the dangers [APOLOGIES I'll tag it as more a danger than just a risk] of using public WIFIs, weak password, and having poor firewall security.  We also know better than to click on suspicious links OR mount random USB drives that we happen to find lying around😃😃😃

Hell, some of us might even take Xtra precautionary measures like using a VPN tunnel, 2FA [2-factor authentication if available] and even reaching out to our mobile phone providers/carriers for other security hardening measures like putting in protocols in place to prevent 'SIM JACKING'.  Let's face it though.  With all our smart devices, social media accounts, and IOT [the INTERNET of THINGS], there are just endless avenues a hacker can take if they really want to try and hack us, God forbid🙏🙏🙏

Very factual, we certainly CAN'T just spend all day long worrying about everywhere we might end up as vulnerable and for the most part, we DON'T have to.  We tend to rest our heads on the shoulders of the big tech giants in Google, Amazon, Meta's FB, Verizon and the like.   At the end of the food chain, there we are, still clinging in to VOICEMAILs?  Without unduly raising apprehensions and fears, even the brightest tech companies often overlook things that can leave us with our pants down, so to peak💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  You might retort back like 'JOKES ON YOU MY FRIEND, I DIDN'T EVEN SETUP MY VOICEMAIL ON MY PHONE'.  On that note, EVEN IF you DIDN'T, it DOESN'T mean that you DON'T have a voicemail  because most cellular providers automatically provision a voicemail and IF you DIDN'T set it up, you are likely even MORE vulnerable.  Hold your breath.  NO ONE can stop now those hackers to setup your VOICEMAIL [you're right, hackers can tap on that freeware 'PhoneInfoga' as they rummage through and extract your valuable info [both from your active and even inactive number].  End of story:  I will leave things up to you as I DON'T want to drive you scared by now💥💥💥

Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs!

 Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs!

True, the world we live in is made up of opposites.  LIke hot-cold, sweet-sour, males-females, and the list keeps on going and these dualities are most clearly divided at the broad extremes.  BUT life is NOT always about black OR white BUT about grey as well.  And let's take extra steps.  Go Find The BLUEs And GREENs as well.  True, black and white are seen as the comfort zones and grey and even the blues and greens as the unknown or worst, they are tagged as the danger zones.  WHY?  It's because our societies never taught us that it's fine to possess the qualities of grey and the blues and greens in life📗📙📘

WHAT is befuddling here is WHAT we believe and affirm to is that day is with light and the night is without light.  BUT BUT BUT there are those in-between times called dusk and dawn WHERE it is quite difficult to say if it is actually a day OR a night, right?  WHENEVER the sun goes down, do we really officially call it evening?  WHEN before the sun breaks the skyline, do we then call it daytime?  YES, these are unsettled focuses in the world to the majority of us and admittedly, things get murkier💥💥💥

NOW, let's get back to our lives.  WHEN we are in that state WHERE we're dealing with grey areas NO matter WHERE you are with your grey areas, we always need to remember that we are NOT so far enough such that we CAN'T figure it out and it's NEVER too late for the things to settle down and get clearer enough until we GO and FIND THE BLUEs and the GREENs as well.  YES, we DON'T need to be labelled OR feel broken because of the fact that we're dealing with some stuff OR problem in our life that is creating OR causing those hindrances.  True, life is NOT a bed of roses NOT is it a bed of thorns.  Happy and sad moments both are a part of life, BUT what matters the most is HOW do we prepare ourselves for it😊😊😊

One thing we tend to miss at times is the fact that we all possess a choice about WHAT we can control and WHAT all we cannot.  Exercise upon the action of WHAT we know is right to do as per our knowledge.  In fact, that is our biggest asset we all have in our lives WHEN it comes to the grey areas.  It is very easy for us to label something as good OR bad so we carry on to do so without giving a thought about it and figuring out that WHAT it really is and HOW it matters to us.  True, thinking in extremes can cause more NEGATIVITY in our lives.  It's okay to feel your feelings, as we all are meant to feel different emotions as humans.  Hiding behind the mask OR bearing the blinders will only keep the problems alive [and unresolved] in your life.  In the end, we WON'T be able to overcome it if we will certain the same thinking and recoil on it all over again❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Allow me to copy and paste verbatim these excerpts which are 'spot on' for us to learn and keep in mind:

• NEVER be afraid to speak out about your struggles or feelings
• We're empowered to make decisions, FOCUS is what we need
• WHEN we need help, it DOESN'T mean we're falling apart
• Those LIKES, FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS in social media DO NOT matter at all, period.  Let's go back to true friendships
• WHATEVER you achieved from hard work, you deserve it dude
• Living a happy life is NOT as tough as it might seem to be

Dude, GO FIND THE BLUEs and the GREENs in life❗❗❗

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job. LOVE Your Job!

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job.  LOVE Your Job!

If You Work, Don't LIKE Your Job.  LOVE Your Job!  NO sirrrrrrrs.  I am NOT advocating you to put your job ahead of your family responsibilities.  NOT at all.  I will be the last one to be egging you to relegate your families behind the back.  Instead, in the current talent revolution, there's this renewed talent revolution, there's renewed focus on jobs, WHETHER you're happy and loving WHAT you do📗📙📘

Frankly, if ever you are still part of the workforce, it just makes sense and worth enough to be giving intentional thought as to WHETHER you LOVE your work and WHETHER it's fulfilling.  It is, after all, a majority of WHERE you spend your time.  YES, there are proven ways to "FALL IN LOVE" with your job, OR even just like it a little more.  BUT it's also important to know there is simply NO perfect job💦💦💦

Analogous to human relationships, the dynamics in the workplace is NOT that different.  As in any relationship, to borrow legal jargon, there has to be a 'MEETING OF THE MINDS' up front.  In the shortest words possible, there has to be mutuality.  Both parties must feel and expect that such a relationship and interaction is beneficial💥💥💥

Surely, there are two sides of the coin.  There will always be things you love as well as things you dislike.  The best formula for loving your work is to find as much alignment as you can between WHAT you love to do and WHAT you must spend time on.   YES it is quite unlikely you'll ever find that 'PERFECT JOB'.  Sorry dude, that is a pipe dream no less.  BUT you can enjoy WHAT you do most of the time though.  And it will be unrealistic to expect you'll be happy every single day.  Definitely, you'll have those UPs and DOWNs, those EBBs and FLOWs.  BUT eventually, you can find fulfillment most of the time💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Even, for the sake of argument, that your job is NOT that ideal, you can learn to love it.  I remember this lyrics in an old song, 'IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH'.  And certainly, this can apply to your work circumstances.  So HOW?  LOVE your contribution.  NO matter WHAT you're doing, your work is a way you express your talents and make a contribution to your community.  Performing well s correlated with happiness, so embrace your own skills and be confident about WHAT you do well.  The job you have now may NOT be your endgame and you may wish for more BUT you can appreciate all that you have today!!!

Pick Your Lane!

WHY so progress in our respective journeys differently?  WHY do others end up leading the pack?  WHY do some remain to be cellar dwellers in the rat race?  And WHY do others get stalled in the middle of the pack?  Taking things literally, if you're driving in the freeways and you're in any of these predicaments, it's your choice you're trapped in your own hole.  WHY is this happening to some of us?  It's because we fail to appreciate the need to Pick Your Lane!  It's your choice BTW.  Picking up a lane DOESN'T mean being trapped in one choice📗📙📘

Let's swing over to the gym.  You'll probably see a couple always there together, both matching each other in terms of being muscle heads.  And she's as equally jacked as he.  They lift together and they stalk about their macros loud enough.  And critique each others form.  It's clear they are all about fitness and bodybuilding.  And they're happy, WHAT with all their PDA💦💦💦

Oh, couples like that find a niche to fit into together, morphing into one LANE.  They build their identity as a couple.  Oh, if you love rock climbing instead, chances are a good potential match will be at the rock climbing gym.  SUCH IS LIFE.  For us to go full throttle, we got to PICK OUR LANE.  If Tom, Dick and Harry are quite famous for their lives running on a the fast LANE, you just DON'T hop on the bandwagon UNLESS and UNTIL you're cocksure that you can comfortably synchronize with Tom, Dick and Harry.  WHAT IF you can't catch up to their pace and you end up huffing and puffing?  On the other hand, is your pace in life more akin to the notorious turtles near the beaches???

WHICH reminds me of my previous years WHERE I was figuring out to PICK MY LANE.  Did I seek counsel?  Did I hop-in and hop-off erratically?  OR did I simply join the bandwagon?  NO sirrrrrrrrs, I deemed it prudent enough to face my own mirror and ask myself, WHAT'S MY PACE and from there I tasked myself to PICK MY LANE based on my pace.  That led me to reach my decision-points comfortably aligned to my pre-set pace💥💥💥

YES, BTW, you DON'T be apprehensive to get stuck in your LANE.  Remember, as in any freeway, there are lay-bays or DROP OFF LANEs but be cautioned that you'll be there purely for DROP OFF purposes.  If you're in the F1 Race with Lewis Hamilton, you can get those respites in those PIT STOPS but never lose sight that you need to get back to your LANE because you CAN'T and MUSN'T lose sight that your singular focus is to successfully finish your journey via the LANE you picked to thread on.  If you haven't made up your mind, PICK YOUR LANE, dude❗❗❗

How Far Can We Be An 'OPEN BOOK'

 

As always, we always hear that we should be an OPEN BOOK because that's spelled T-R-A-N-S-P-A-R-E-N-C-Y.  Verily true, every mobile app these days has always that 'SHARE' functionality.  NO wonder, sharing is all over the place.  And it's fine, we love to SHARE parts of our lives with others as it even indirectly helps us connect and even reinforce relationships.  BUT NOT everything needs to be said out loud, dude.  Some things are better kept to yourself, NOT because they are bad BUT because SHARING them may lead to misunderstandings, unnecessary drama OR worst, even regret [LIKE, 'MY BAD, WHY DID I CLICK THE 'SHARE'], ouch📗📙📘

Psychology experts do tell us that keeping certain thoughts, plans and personal details private can actually make us happier, and more AT PEACE.  LIKE your biggest goals.  True, we would feel proud to trumpet our goals and ambitions BUT sharing them TOO SOON might actually work against us.  Remember even as casual as it may be, if before stepping out of your home, you happily tell your neighbor [WHO'S idling around the vicinity] that you will be going to your fav clothes shop as you're eyeing a nice dress you saw in their online shop.  Trust me, on your way home, before you blurt out, it's your neighbor WHO'll ask you if you managed to buy that dress!@#$%?

 BTW, yes you can OPEN YOUR BOOK but just like in Meta's FB, you can initiate an 'ONLY ME' post, right?  I remember the jargon of experts WHO said that WHEN we announce our 'BIG PLANS', our brain gets a little dopamine boost, similar to WHAT happens WHEN we actually achieve something.  And WHERE does the problem lie?  That very fleeting satisfaction [of our brain] can quickly and easily dissipate and replace that motivation we needed all along.  Instead of telling everyone your goals, keep it to yourself and LET YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK FOR ITSELF💚💛💜

LIKE our good deeds.  Doing something kind for someone else should come from the heart [and NOT from our SELF-RECOGNITION].  YES, in an assured way, I can stand on this because my lips remain sealed with regard the good deeds I have extended to other people all through the years.  BTW, without breaching confidentiality, when my sibling was overseas at that time, I visited our hometown and without giving any clue, I advised his wife to accompany me to the supermarket.  And I drove her back only after her supermarket cart was LITERALLY overflowing with goodies to restock her small store.  Even as we speak now, I never shared this to my sibling💥💥💥

OH, how about your insecurities?  We all have things we're self-conscious about BUT sharing them with the WRONG people can do more harm than good.  There's this psychology jargon tagged "LOOKING-GLASS SELF" which means we tend to see ourselves based on HOW others react to us.   WHOAHHH!  Your finances?  Your past mistakes?  WHAT the hell, WHY do you want to switch from ONLY ME to PUBLIC???

[IMPORTANT SHARING] Commentary: Singapore has banned vaping

 

EN TOTO, allow me to share  this Channelnewsasia feed I read awhile ago.  WHY am I sharing this?  Because this piece is NOT just an opinion anymore.  NOT in Singapore [where I lived for 8 years] WHERE every formulated policy passes thoroughly through the teeth of the comb ten times before it shapes up.  NOW, I will leave up to our readers [especially smokers & vapers] to either agree OR disagree with the factual basis as to WHY VAPING IS NOW BANNED IN SINGAPORE!!!

Channelnewsasia piece starts here [excluding the pictures]:  https://www.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/vaping-teens-youths-drugs-cannabis-ketamine-kpods-meth-overdose-deaths-4967016

Sleek, discreet devices - many designed to resemble common school items such as pens and flash drives - lured young users with flavours such as “cotton candy” and “gummy bear”, making vaping both accessible and appealing. Today, parents have even more reason to worry. With cannabis legalised in some countries, marijuana vaping has become more widespread among young people. In 2022, one in five United States students aged 16 to 18 reported vaping cannabis in the past year.

One of the more recent and deeply concerning trends is the growing popularity of “Kpod” vapes. Kpods contain etomidate, a powerful anaesthetic similar to ketamine, in a mix also called “zombie spice” or “space oil”. It can cause seizures, coma and cardiac arrest.  Despite the risks, sellers market Kpods as “safe” and “undetectable in urine tests”, often in fruity flavours such as grape, blueberry and mango. They are virtually undistinguishable from regular vapes.

In the United Kingdom, a study last year found that one in six vapes confiscated at English schools was spiked with zombie spice. Teachers described how students had collapsed in hallways and ended up in intensive care after vaping this mix.  Authorities have also seized vape devices containing THC, the main psychoactive compound in cannabis.

While drug-infused vapes pose immediate and unpredictable risks, cannabis vaping is also on the rise, under the misconception that it is harmless. This is a dangerous assumption. Not only is cannabis addictive, but it can also cause memory loss, psychosis and respiratory issues.  Additionally, many cannabis vapes contain additives that pose severe health threats. One of the most notorious is vitamin E acetate, which has been implicated as the primary cause of EVALI (e-cigarette or vaping associated lung injury), a fatal condition that killed 68 people and hospitalised over 2,800 in the US between 2019 and 2020.  Despite these risks, the cannabis vaping trend is proving difficult to curb. The tobacco industry, which has aggressively invested in the vaping market, is now extending its reach into the cannabis market.  For example, in 2023, it was reported that Philip Morris International (PMI), was acquiring Israeli medical cannabis inhaler company Syqe Medical for US$650 million. In January this year, PMI also entered a partnership with Avicanna, a Canadian firm specialising in cannabinoid-based medicine.  Meanwhile, Marlboro-maker Altria Group is the largest shareholder of Canadian medical marijuana company Cronos Group, while British American Tobacco (BAT) has a major stake in Canada-based cannabis producer OrganiGram.  Cigarettes are the only legal consumer product that, when used exactly as intended by the manufacturer, kills about half of its users - a staggering figure considering there are an estimated 1.3 billion smokers globally.  Even when vapes were limited to nicotine, they posed enough of a health threat, with studies linking them to lung injuries, heart disease and cancer.  Now, there is a new generation of illegal and dangerous drugs being sold to children under the guise of harmless fruit-flavoured vape pens and tech gadgets.  These drugs, as well as vaping products, are illegal in Singapore and their use comes with strict penalties. Countries such as China are also cracking down on drug-laced vapes amid their rising popularity in youths.  It is also important to educate young people on what is inside vaping products and on the dangers of using novel synthetic drugs such as etomidate. This is especially important as drug-infused vapes are difficult to distinguish from standard ones, and the ingredients in vape liquids are, more than often, neither disclosed nor labelled correctly.  Parents and teachers must also be equipped to recognise the signs of vaping and substance use, and at-risk youth should be given access to counselling and support services to prevent addiction before it takes hold.  END of Channelnewsasia piece authored by Yvette Van Der Eijk 03.05.2025 

WHY Constantly Searching For HAPPINESS 'MAY' Lead To UNHAPPINESS

WHY Constantly Searching For HAPPINESS 'MAY' Lead To UNHAPPINESS.  Is this worth our time for today?  Me thinks this topic may NOT be the hottest one we can pick BUT it's HOT enough, at least for today.  So, is this true, WHY Constantly Searching For HAPPINESS Can Lead To UNHAPPINESS?  OR are we into a play of words here?  NO sirrrrrrrs.  This is serious stuff.  Many [and likely everyone] of us did hit these rough patches along the away📘📙📗

YES, we all agree that HAPPINESS is a key ingredient of our well-being.  It is thus reasonable to expect that valuing HAPPINESS will lead us to beneficial outcomes.  We would tend to argue that this may NOT always be the case.  Instead, valuing HAPPINESS could also be self-defeating in the sense that WHEN the more people value HAPPINESS, the more likely they will feel disappointed💥💥💥

Psychologists shared that this could commonly apply to positive situations in which people have every reason to be happy.  NOT being an American, I do note that even in their U.S. Declaration of Independence, they included the provision that HAPPINESS is an 'inalienable right'.  But, setting that aside, let's face it that there is substantial variation in the extent to which people value HAPPINESS.  WHEREAS some view it as a nice thing to have every now and then, others see it the other way around.  True, at first glance, valuing HAPPINESS should lead to POSITIVE outcomes because it has always been [safely] assumed that the more one values HAPPINESS, the happier one will be.  BUT at a closer glance, however, a particular feature of our human pursuit may lead to POSITIVE-NEGATIVE outcomes of valuing HAPPINESS.  There's an interesting twist in this though😀😀😀

Looking back, I do realize that people's values determine NOT only WHAT they want to achieve BUT it even creeps through our own pre-set of standards against WHICH we would tend to evaluate our own achievements.  And the person WHO highly values academic achievement and wants to achieve high grades is bound to be disappointed at times WHEN he falls short of his own high standards.  BUT in the case of academic achievements, though, this may NOT matter for the goal at hand❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  The mother of all ironies here is that people WHO highly value HAPPINESS set HAPPINESS standards so high to an extend that it becomes difficult to achieve OR obtain, leading them to disappointment along the way.  Analogously, the paradoxical effect of valuing HAPPINESS should depend on the emotional context at hand.  LIKE people are unlikely to get disappointed WHEN they do NOT if they fail to be happy after hearing a close friend had an accident.  For now, can we pause to filter those pursuits of HAPPINESS that will [ironically] lead us to UNHAPPINESS❗❗❗