Listening Does NOT Mean Agreeing

Listening Does NOT Mean Agreeing

Just the other day, the revered late Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter was given the memorial services  befitting his stature and all the living former U.S. Presidents were all in attendance.  For the curious ones, in the videos, we would see Former President Barack Obama seated next to incoming President Donald Trump.  And everyone in geo-politics know well the animosity between them from way back.  Yet, in all the footages, they seemed to get along fine during the memorial services.  They even looked like closely knit allies through the decades.  In the footage, we can see Trump seemingly cracking a joke and Obama laughed and whispered something back to him.  That made news, not just in CNN.  YES, some read those moments as hypocritical OR even sinister in some way.  BUT those moments are telling us something else.  THAT regardless, Listening Does NOT Mean Agreeing📗📙📘

A more positive perspective is that basic humanity does transcend politics, WHICH is actually refreshing to hear considering that almost every talking point now gets sensationalized to score 'internet points'.  YES it's normal to be cordial toward your seatmate in a funeral and it SHOULDN't be an issue❎❎❎

True, funerals are reminders that, no matter WHO you're dunking on today, NO matter WHAT the power OR money you won OR lost, our time here is indeed short and most of this will eventually be forgotten.  In our daily lives, there will be days WHEN someone keeps on talking and you just CAN'T agree.  BUT unless you are flagged down to give your on-the-spot reaction, you can reserve your frank words at the right moment.  I've been through that, listening to someone I just CAN'T stand but listening does NOT equate to agreeing.  That very basic distinction should draw the line and reduce any blurred ones because in the past, I heard frank reactions like, WHY SHOULD I LISTEN WHEN I DON'T AGREE WITH HIS STATEMENTS💥💥💥

Through the years, I realized that one of the things that stops us from truly LISTENING to the other person is that FEAR that LISTENING might indicate that we agree with WHAT they are saying [BUT that's NOT the case though].  WHAT if we DON'T agree?  Should we NOT start making our case right from the very first sentence we heard?  Does silence NOT mean assent?  NOT really so, dude.  Hear me out though😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  LISTENING to and agreeing with are two different processes.  And in between the two lies a third one, that is, UNDERSTANDING.  WHEN someone is sharing their experience, their feelings OR even their own thoughts, there is really NOTHING to agree to OR disagree with.  The experience, the feelings and the thoughts belong to the person WHO is having and sharing them.  YES dude, LISTENING DOES NOT MEAN AGREEING, seriously❗❗❗

Those LITTLE Things Are BIG Ones!!!

Those LITTLE Things Are BIG Ones!!!

Often, we hear that life is WHAT happens WHEN you're busy making other plans.  You can have an idea in your head of HOW you want things to go BUT that DOESN'T mean the world will listen to you.  True. many unfortunate things in life do surface and some of those happenings can be tough.  Sometimes, grief puts the world in slow motion.  Sometimes your life flashes before your eyes WHEN a part of it ends.  Sometimes, it feels like the world has been flipped over.  Like the Planet Earth has grown tired of spinning.  True, some things tend to be OUT OF CONTROL.  BUT can we agree that Those LITTLE Things Are BIG Ones!!!  So, WHAT makes your day beautiful?  Hopefully, it's way and beyond the material and luxurious things in life, way beyond the surprise gifts heaped upon you, and way beyond even those prized asset acquisitions which take a lifetime for others to achieve💥💥💥

Things come to a point when you hit the sack after a long day.  So, WHAT makes you think by then?  Do you smile looking back at something that happened during the day?  It might be a SMALL thing and that's WHERE the beauty lies.  Let's try it.  'Enjoy the LITTLE things in life for one day, you'll look back and realize that they were BIG things'.  That quote has stuck with me since the first time I read it.  And it just makes so much sense💦💦💦

Throughout everyday and every week WHEN we grind, likely most of us go through our routines and most likely they are pre-set   Sometimes, we get so busy with life that we try to get by each day and we look for that next BIG event to happen in our lives. There was a time before WHEN I saw each day as one day closer, instead of LIVING EACH DAY, instead of LIVING IN THE MOMENT.  There were even times WHERE I would count down in the amount of days until I was able to go on vacation.  However, I then realized that I could have missed out on WHAT could have happened on the days leading up. As we speak now, I will stand my ground to defend and justify the quote that THOSE LITTLE THINGS ARE BIG ONES!!! 

Now, let's agree that a common disconnect here is that 'LITTLE THINGS' has a relative meaning.  For me, it means listening to music, spending time with family and friends, enjoying my favorite foods, OR doing all three of these things at the same time.  Of course, these are just a few of many other LITTLE things.  Sometimes, we get so busy with life that we try to get by each day and we look for that next BIG event to happen in our lives💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  If you enjoy reading a book before you go to bed, make a point to do it.  If you enjoy going on for a run, make a point to do it.  If you enjoy playing music, make a point to do it.  If you enjoy talking and getting to know people, make a point to do it.  I could on forever because every person as different things they like to do.  WHAT I'm saying here is that in the grand scheme of things, each day comes and goes much faster than we realize.  And as we only have so much time to live, WHY can't we relish each day and every single thing that happens on a daily basis, and that includes THOSE LITTLE THINGS because they are BIG ONES as well💥💥💥

Is Narcissism An Issue?

Is Narcissism An Issue?

Is Narcissism An Issue?  C'mon dude, let's NOT make an issue out of it.  Much as the majority of us WON'T admit it, many of us [including moi in the past] did go through some levels and shades of NARCISSISM, and that is NOT and should NEVER be an issue.  For alignment, let's agree to Mr Google's definition that NARCISSISM is a personality disorder where a person tends to be generally unhappy and worse, disappointed when either they DON'T receive the admiration, attention OR favor they requested📗📙📘

One huge disconnect about NARCISSISM is that it is treated as either BLACK or WHITE, which is NOT in the first place.  As there is no exact barometer to measure the level of NARCISSISM, there is a huge range WHERE at any point in time one's NARCISSISTIC issues get tagged.  It could be as subtle as sometimes feeling down WHEN NOT appreciated or NOT receiving the attention he/she was expecting.  And BTW, that's very relative and NOT absolute because there is NO exact science that will validate if someone requires the APPRECIATION or ATTENTION at that moment in time.  In short, let's be less tough WHEN NARCISSISM tends to manifest💦💦💦

In truth and in fact, all experts sing one common tune, that is, NARCISSISM is NOT just a mindset BUT as a whole, it is HOW you perceive and it depends on WHICH aspects you focus.  Experts claim that NARCISSISM is NOT even pathological because there exist healthy NARCISSISM WHICH is described as having ambition, self care, leadership and being highly driven in WHAT 'passionate' the person💧💧💧

And WHILE competition itself is often done in unhealthy proportions, there still exists sane competitivity.  And WHILE NARCISSISM is NOT that of a major issue, everyone does counsel us that it remains something that, most often, will take decades [note that it's PLURAL] to really simmer down.  Again, NARCISSISM between two people can even reflect a huge disparity, which means, it can take one decade for one BUT decades for another one's NARCISSISM to simmer down💥💥💥

Although researchers found that on average, NARCISSISM gradually declined as people aged, the 'results show that that decline is NOT as large as one might hope'.  In fact, the same experts claim that most declines in NARCISSISM took place over the span of decades.  That explains WHY WHEN you look back at how a close friend behaved 20 or 30 years ago, you would likely notice the change.  BUT they added that the average decline was at most of moderate size, so, let's NOT expect people's NARCISSISM to change fundamentally❗❗❗

Nope, Life Is NOT A Competition!

Nope, Life Is NOT A Competition!

Like all these flowers that bloom on their own and NOT bothered as to how the other flowers are blooming, there is that growing misconception that given the challenges in life, life is a competition BUT Nope, Life Is NOT A Competition at all.  And although it seems that way, it is unfortunate that it seems, sometimes jealousy can get the best of us.  So, HOW often do you find yourself getting jealous of other people?  And does jealousy affect the way you perceive others OR the way you perceive yourself???

Many times in the past, I admit that I had that recurring tendency to compare, compete and be jealous of others, thinking that I DIDN'T measure up].  BUT alas, over time, I did learn HOW to navigate these feelings of jealousy by understanding the difference between NEGATIVE competition and POSITIVE competition.  So, HOW did I learn that life is NOT a competition

NOT to blame my parents or even my mentors in school BUT as a young adult, I was under the constant impression that life is a competition, WHICH was a big issue for me and seemed to make sense, especially as someone involved in real-life competitions.  So, the past decades or so, I've done quite a bit of personal growth even as I erroneously believed then that I was already past that stage of being jealous of others

NOT until I went through numerous challenging situations, and those were 'friendly reminders' to me as to HOW jealous and competitive I can still be [during those years]. With intense soul searching, I realized that much of the conflict and judgment that shows up has got to do more with me being overly competitive with them [WHEN in truth, I DIDN'T realize then that there was NO competition].  By then, I realized I had to navigate jealousy itself.  And while it was easy to tell someone that life is NOT a competition, it was hard to eliminate jealousy within ourselves 

Our takeaway:  As we live in a very competitive world, early in life we learn to compete and as we get into the 'real world', we often continue to compete with family members, friends, coworkers and the rest, especially in our professional lives.  WHAT we missed out are the NEGATIVE effects of competition which can even result in lower self-esteem, sometimes even impacting relationships.  And before things turn from bad to worse, let us agree that LIFE IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!

Fear Is NOT To Be Feared

Fear Is NOT To Be Feared

When FEAR lurks all over us, I doubt you could sleep soundly WHEN you can hear the thudding of FEAR exploding in your chest and WHEN you attempted to identify the singular cause of your FEAR, you'd feel it's NOT just one thing.  Instead, there seems to be so many things.  Like the world at large and the problems besetting it.  And when that lurking FEAR seems to impact either the health, safety OR welfare of anyone within your family, you'll start wondering if Fear Is NOT To Be Feared📗📙📘

We could sound poetic here but tell me if that icy FEAR is NOT to be likened to one crawling up your spine till it fills you up with abject horror?  Admittedly, I struggled with various FEARS in the past BUT one sunny day WHEN I woke up, I told myself that I just wanted my life to change in so many ways so I can rid myself of the FEARS I had then❎❎❎

Can we imagine having NO FEAR?  Yes dude, you can achieve that BUT if you get to your own realization and learn that WHATEVER is that FEAR inside you, it could very old, aging from way back, and that FEAR itself keeps simply playing on repeat.  At that point, I reached my endpoint WHEREIN instead of me dwelling with the hundreds of FEARs that scared me no end, I simply had to go to the very source of FEAR💦💦💦

As a personal admission, FEAR was once embedded within me, deep into my bones, even at an early age.  Probably, it was the offshoot of the financial challenges my family then faced.  BUT WHAT can I do then, I was just a school grader?  So, over time, that FEAR seemed to have locked in, within me like a confined animal lying in wait, because I DIDN'T receive HELP to release it from my body😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  WHAT really helped to extricate myself from that deep morass was WHEN I learned to support myself through feeling the emotion of FEAR.  To build a feeling to hold those feelings in my body.  To allow them, the sensations they create, in order to be fully present.  Do it dude, feel them and they have the chance to release because indeed, it's true that YES, FEAR IS NOT TO BE FEARED❗❗❗

Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!

Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!

In a big chunk of my life, I witnessed everyone [and that includes moi] in quest of SUCCESS and swatting away the possibility of being AVERAGE.  BUT I kept asking myself, WHY the hell being AVERAGE is such a sting that carries with it an unspoken stigma, that unshakeable burden of weight on your should which you want to push off as fast and as quick before you get tagged as AVERAGE?   Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!!!

I admit that for the longest time, I was constantly giving out my darn best to ensure I was GOOD ENOUGH but today, allow me to admit that those episodes in my life were exhausting, to say the least.  Imagine, day-in day-out, angling to be BETTER than AVERAGE?  So, this brings me back to a full circle and ask ourselves, WHY CAN'T we accept AVERAGE?  BUT before I get caught up with words, I am cautious NOT to say "WHY CAN'T I SETTLE FOR AVERAGE" because that in itself is telling❎❎❎

Before I get [WRONGLY] understood, let's face it, by the law of AVERAGES, most of us are AVERAGE.  And there is NOTHING wrong with AVERAGE, yet I'll admit that I kept expecting more from myself.  Now, allow me to admit.  Most of my friends are AVERAGE people living in AVERAGE houses with AVERAGE jobs.  BUT WHAT ISN'T AVERAGE in them are their hearts and souls which are off-the-charts EXTRAORDINARY✅✅✅

Even in the field of human resource where most global companies have embraced AVERAGE as part of the 'bell curving'.  Regrettably, a plurality of workers area of 'bell curving' tend to look at AVERAGE as that stigma to be shunned off.  Zillion times as a manager, I kept harping to my team members that to end up as AVERAGE in the 'bell curving' means he/she has done his job well enough, delivering the goods💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In defense of being AVERAGE, till to date, a lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept being MEDIOCRE, then they'll NEVER achieve anything, NEVER improve and that their life WON'T matter anymore.  I really find that sort of thinking skewed and dangerous. WHAT we need to agree on is that in life, everything is a TRADE-OFF, some born with high aptitudes, some got physical skills, some are artistic, some are athletic.  So, we humans come from a wildly diverse group.  AVERAGE is EXTRAORDINARY!!!

Surprising Psychology Trivia

Surprising Psychology Trivia

I have always considered myself a novice in the field of Psychology BUT that has NOT stopped me from peeking into it, out of sheet curiosity.  And since I DON'T intend to develop my knowledge at the SME-level, allow me to share some of these Surprising Psychology Trivia because as much as it is at the trivia-level, these are FUN FACTs that as relevant as ever in our daily grinds [EVEN if I DON'T get the buy-in for some of these trivia]📗📙📘

• DO you know that turning down the car music makes sense because your mind CAN'T focus on two things same time
• DO you know that if you announce your goals to others, you're likely LESS to succeed.  Scary but studies proved this because you lose your motivation
• DO you know the type of music you listen affects the way you perceive the world

And this is a FUNNY FUN FACT, that people who easily blush are considered more trustworthy, generous, and virtuous compared to those WHO either DON'T.  Oh oh, suddenly I realized I hardly blush [BUT hey hey hey, because my complexion is only lighter than the typical Timor-Leste machete-armed native].  

And here's another Psychology FACT.  Me, you, us, we CAN'T multitask !!!!  And I am a firm believer of this FACT very much long time when even IBM and giant OEM began architecting the high-end mainframe machines to computing capacities they equated to MPP's [massive parallel processors] when in truth in fact, what they architected was 'MULTI-THREADING' which, simply put, it sequenced each of the processor tasks, speeding up the computing process but akin to our human capacities, as Psychology tells us, we CAN'T multitask!!!!

And this Psychologist FACT is kind of scary, that BEING ALONE FOR LONG PERIODS IS AS BAD AS SMOKING.  And psychology experts go farther by sharing the fact that lonely people are 50% MORE likely and MORE prone to die prematurely than those with healthy social connections.  It's because loneliness reduces immunity and therefore increases the risk of diseases.  It even increases inflammation of the body📌📌📌

Our takeaway:  Believe it OR not, our health is at the receiving end, whether we accept this as gospel truth OR not.  Take that inflammation risk our body might suffer which is even compared at the same level, if NOT worse, than the risks of smoking which would lead to heart disease and other chronic health diseases.  Mother of all fears, being lonely also leads to stress affecting us emotionally and mentally.  WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, dude💥💥💥

Does LESS Mean MORE?

Does LESS Mean MORE?

Does LESS Mean MORE?  Absolutely.  Setting aside semantics, having LESS in life can indeed bring us MORE in terms of outcome and output.  Heard of this workplace scenario where a colleague suddenly goes on unplanned leave due to emergency circumstances?  Heard of the sole proprietor WHO had to roll up his sleeves because of the unexpected sudden surge of volumes of retail consumers?  Heard of the Red Cross organizations who, with meager funds, managed to 'spread its wings' to help finance typhoon victims???

From the running numbers of our bank balance, to the amount of followers we have on social media, it has become the norm to base our happiness around our egos, our monetary gains [WHO DOESN'T love $$$$$$], OR the attainment of titles and material things.  True, monies can present us with opportunities to be happy BUT sometimes our priorities are led astray by appropriated desires and distractions from our over-hyped-advertised reality❎❎❎

Hey hey hey, can we forget about wanting MORE because in real-life experiences [YES, I can attest to this], you end up getting LESS.  NBA player Caleb Martin is a very recent classic example of hoping for MORE but ending up with considerably LESS.  Miami Heat, his NBA ballclub then, tendered him a $65 Million offer.  Hoping for MORE, he turned it down.  Fast-forward, he ended up signing with Philadelphia 76ers for a $32 Million contract. Ouchhhhh.  Truth is, our current generation of 20-somethings is squandering our happiness. all in the name of consumerism WHEN in fact we should be expanding way beyond our own materialistic comforts😁😁😁

Instead, we need to STOP squandering our hard-earned monies and start redirecting it into bettering our own lives.  TRUE, we are always encouraged NOT to take risks [no thanks to the conservative environment we were reared by our forefathers and even parents].  BUT really, should we always strive for the SAFEST option available to us?  REALLY?  Something to ponder about these days❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  True, we would hear those cautionary tales of homelessness and despair even as we are guided towards a reliable and secure future [preached long time ago by the elders of our society].  BUT hey hey hey, do we agree that to find TRUE HAPPINESS, you have to travel way beyond your own comfort zone???

AI Is Here To Stay. Let's "EMBRACE" It!

AI Is Here To Stay.  Let's "EMBRACE" It!

Two nights ago, I was having a discussion thread with my US-based colleague and we had one question left unanswered and we both blurted, can we go to AI?  Seriously we did and voila, instantly I received AI's unequivocal 'outputs'.  WHAT does this tell us all?  YES, AI Is Here To Stay.  Let's "EMBRACE" It [with NO qualms OR reservations] BUT NOT without a caveat though💜💛💚

Before anything else, though, let's initiate a sort of mini-dissertation as to WHY we need to embrace AI and I will never run out of tons and tons of AI upsides but for brevity sake, even assuming one is skeptical OR, worse, cynical, I'll confront that skeptic OR cynic:  THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN IF WE [cautiously] RIDE on this AI revolution because it's trajectory continues to go up unabatedly💥💥💥

BUT again, here's tons of precautionary words, NOT because AI is a 'menace' [because it WON'T be one at all] BUT because AI is NOT that 'SUPERMAN' we need in life.  Instead, let's include AI in our equation in life as another one of the many variables whose outputs [and inputs to us] should be taken with a grain of salt😂😂😂

So, WHAT are the words of caution we can share with regard us embracing AI?  Here we go:  

• DON'T forget "GIGO" [Garbage In, Garbage Out] NOT because AI data is that bad but because it all boils down to 'algorithmic bias'. 
• WORD MATTER - HOW you craft words can churn out the kind of output [you may NOT need]
• MISINFORMATION is NOT far off to happen because AI-generated content can be ill-intentioned
• With limited regulatory measures, let's be WARY

Our takeaway:  NOT to dampen the optimism prevailing across Generation Alpha because AI opens us up to opportunities hitherto unknown to us all BUT I'd counsel that we take a measured approach.  DON'T go AI WHEN you're depressed, WHEN you're agonizing by yourself, WHEN you need emotional support, WHEN you're hungering for human inspiration and love because AI CAN'T offer it.  Much as AI is here to stay, YES dude, LET'S EMBRACE AI [in a measured approach]!!!

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?  YES dude, absolutely.  And while personal relationships have a significant impact in our life, we often DON'T think about the influence they have on our health.  Over and over again, studies have shown that people involved in POSITIVE relationships with family and friends tend to be happier and live longer than people WHO are isolated [for WHATEVER reasons and circumstances may explain it]📗📙📘

Be EXTRA EXTRA wary of one type of relationship though.  That's PARASOCIAL relationships which is defined as involving OR relating to a connection between a person and someone they DO NOT know personally, like a celebrity OR famous person or even a fictitious character in a book.  To keep things simple, it will make sense that we limit today's thread to real-life relationships [and excluding parasocial ones].  And as we look for ways to manage and improve our personal health, it's worth considering HOW our relationships affect our physical health and emotional well-being.  Certainly, there can be POSITIVE effects✅✅✅

If we surround ourselves with people WHO eat healthy and exercise, we're MORE likely to adopt the same behaviors.  Relationships can also result in NEGATIVE consequences and WHILE every situation is different, let's spend time to dive into common concerns that can be influenced by our relationships with our family and even in our social life.  

DEPRESSION - While this condition has many causes, unstable relationships can contribute to DEPRESSION.  Frequent NEGATIVE interactions can even cause mood swings and emotional distress that over time, may likely affect our physical health💦💦💦

ALCOHOL and DRUG USE - Again, it's more likely that people will engage in unhealthy behaviors such as heavy drinking OR drug use WHEN they spend time with others WHO do the same.  A concrete but not-so-overnight fix for this dilemma is to make POSITIVE changes, like identifying and acknowledging WHEN a relationship is NEGATIVELY impacting one's health and well-being.  Relationships are an essential part of life, so it's really that important to establish and nurture those relationships that provide the greatest joy and POSITIVE impact to your life.  And HOW do we handle relationships that create more NEGATIVITY?  Take a serious, hard look and be focused to fix it pronto!!!

Our takeaway:  Before we get mixed up and I end up being misunderstood, WHAT is more prevalent these days is WHEN we nourish our body and mind BUT neglect our relationships because at the end of the day, our overall health will likely be compromised.  In contrast, prioritizing your 'CONNECTIONS', that is in addition to habits that support your physical and mental health, experts assure us with that embedded conviction that very likely, we have much better chances to live healthier, longer and happier, all rolled into one.  So, DO RELATIONSHIPS AFFECT OUR HEALTH?  Absolutely, dude❗❗❗