Living In The Moment

Living In The Moment

Living In The Moment reminds me of this story shared in Quora.com wherein a friend was walking n the desert when he found the telephone to GOD.  A phone booth in the middle of the desert with a signage "TALK TO GOD" was a surreal sight.  So, when GOD was on the line, the guy asked 'HOW CAN I LIVE IN THE MOMENT?' A soothing mail voice replied "BREATHE'.  And GOD continued: 'WHENEVER YOU FEEL ANXIOUS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE OR YOUR PAST, JUST BREATHE'💴💷💵

So. life unfolds in the PRESENT.  BUT so often, we let the PRESENT slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized. , and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about WHAT's past.  Indeed, we're living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction OR decoherence.  We're always doing something and we allow time to practice STILLNESS and CALM📗📙📘

When we're at work, we fantasize about being on vacation and then on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks.  We tend to dwell on intrusive memories of the PAST or even fret about WHAT may or may NOT happen in the FUTURE.  We DON'T appreciate the LIVING PRESENT because our 'monkey minds' seem to vault from thought to thought❎❎❎

Frankly, most of us [even myself in the past] DON'T undertake our thoughts in awareness.  Rather, our thoughts CONTROL us.  Effectively, the ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall.  And in order to feel more in CONTROL of our minds and our lives, to find the SENSE of BALANCE that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, to FOCUS ON JUST BEING☝☝☝

We really to LIVE MORE IN THE MOMENT, that state of active, open, intentional attention on the PRESENT.  And when we become MINDFUL, we will realize that we are NOT your THOUGHTS.  Then, we become an OBSERVER of our own THOUGHTS from MOMENT to MOMENT. without judging them.  MINDFULNESS involves being with your THOUGHTS as they are. , neither grasping at them OR pushing them away.  Instead of letting your life go by without LIVING it, we can awaken the experience.  Yes, studies proved that MINDFUL people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic and more secure.  All because when we are LIVING IN THE MOMENT✅✅✅

Why GOAL-SETTING Is Not Enough

Why GOAL-SETTING Is Not Enough

Have we ever wondered why sometimes [or likely, MANY TIMES] we hear from people we know that they're struggling to achieve their GOALs?  Many of them have planned a lot before, wasting so much time and with the plans laid out, well written.  And maybe they would achieve one or two goals. So,  Why GOAL-SETTING Is Not Enough💴💷💵

If you swing things over to me, it's true I have NOT achieved all the goals I set BUT with humility, I'll confide that I did achieve most of my GOALS.  So, this brings us to the PITFALLS of GOAL-SETTING.  HOW can we plan effectively, and avoiding those PITFALLS along the way📗📙📘

Now here's the most common PITFALL.  We get excited when imagining the GOALS.  Then we get excited when we feel like we seem to have achieved it [BUT just in our mind].  This explains WHY we fall into the TRAP of fulfillment rather than using the motivation from your GOALS to make progress.  Problem is that it will become much easier to feel guilt.  The next you want to set a GOAL, you will DOUBT yourself and think that you CAN'T achieve it.  You will then start to use negative mindset mindset and NOT really try to make progress towards your GOAL💎💎💎

And this is when things become a little touchy because it is very dangerous once we feel depressed and start to think that your life seems USELESS.  We have to be mindful that we need a SENSE of CONTROL in our lives.  And the more you achieve your GOALS, the more you will feel CONTROLLED in life.  WHICH increases your confidence to achieve your remaining GOALS.  Let's be constantly aware that we DON'T have to set 'BIG GOALS'.  In fact, we can set 'MIDDLE GOALS' or even 'SMALL GOALS'.  it all now depends on you and how you really feel about achieving them✅✅✅

Our takeaway?  We DON'T need to set BIG GOALS.  Instead, MIDDLE or even SMALL GOALS are good to start.  It depends on you and HOW you really feel about achieving them.  You need to know WHAT you want to achieve and WHEN you will achieve it.  Most interesting is that "SMART' planning tool where GOALS need to be SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC and TIME-BOUND❗❗❗

How Can We Leverage SOCIAL MEDIA?

How Can We Leverage SOCIAL MEDIA?

Heard of admissions and confessions that he/she was once a 'professional waster'?  And that the 'WASTE PLACE' was SOCIAL MEDIA.  Does all these sound all too familiar?  Binge-watch Instagram reels AS IF that was one's profession and someone is going to transfer hundreds of dollars for seeing random people doing random things completely unrelated to you?   How Can We Leverage SOCIAL MEDIA❓❓❓

Now, let's scrape the surface what that leave us? EXCESSIVE BOREDOM because IT SEEMS that SOCIAL MEDIA is more fun [?] than dealing with REAL LIFE. So obviously, reality starts to seem dull and boring.  Next, how is it FEELING GUILTY for wasting your time?  And then, subconsciously registering details of others' lives and end up feeling JEALOUS and then you start comparing WHAT and WHY we DON'T have the same things as others do❔❔❔

Then, your brain starts to numb to a level that we start to act like an addict.  After every few minutes, we get that feeling of PHYSICAL ITCH to use your mobile phone again [EVEN IF just to open and lock it again instantly]!@#$?  Now having spoken how SOCIAL MEDIA impacts our brains and lives, how do we leverage SOCIAL MEDIA by getting out of it❎❎❎

So HOW?  With that pandemic now behind us, how about prioritizing face-to-face interactions?  There's nothing magical about genuine human connections that NO amount of virtual interaction can replace.  Consider nurturing our relationships by engaging in deep conversations, creating lasting memories, and truly PRESENT IN THE MOMENT.  Obviously, this is NOT feasible if there's geographical distance❌❌❌

To cap it off, can we consider cultivating a mindful lifestyle?  Those practices will help you slow down, be more aware of your thoughts and emotions.  To be clear, I am NOT advocating that SOCIAL MEDIA is to be ignored.  NOT AT ALL.  We got to do the balancing act for us to LEVERAGE SOCIAL MEDIA❗❗❗

How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS?  Please DON'T get me wrong though.  I'm asking this question NOT to feign a teflon life because I had my fair share of all those unwieldy EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS.  And when EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS happen in relationships. that could be a real pain.  Imagine your partner/spouse said or did something struck your nerve❓❓❓

It's just normal to manifest that SURGE OF ANGER, just like a volcano about to erupt.  BUT instead of letting it out it's best that we stuff it down, lock it away in an EMOTIONAL DUNGEON and just shut it down there.  And then you would think you have matured by avoiding unnecessary fights BUT you will be proven WRONG though.  And that WON'T be helpful because that's a 'ticking time bomb'📗📙📘

And when you got a 'ticking time bomb' with you, definitely that will go off, leading to much bigger [and probably] messier arguments.  So HOW do we deal with our EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS?  First, let's agree that EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS are events, situations OR even words that cause intense emotional reactions within us💎💎💎

And we got to understand that a lot of those EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS can stem from past traumatic experiences, negative beliefs or fears.  Sadly, they can have a significant impact to our life because they can lead to emotional distress, relationship conflicts and worse even physical symptoms. By,  understanding EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS, we can gain insight into our reactions and patterns of behavior❎❎❎

This awareness should help us gain insight into our own reactions and patterns of behavior and correspondingly allows us to take more CONTROL of our emotions and respond in a healthier and more constructive way.  'SELF-REGULATION' is essential in managing EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS because it gives us the power to pause, reflect and choose how we want to react.  It empowers us to make conscious choices rather than being driven solely by emotions✅✅✅

You DON'T Need MUCH $$$$$ To Live A Good Life

You DON'T Need MUCH $$$$$ To Live A Good Life

Please allow me to start our thread today by sharing this SAD observation wherein I've seen countless people struggling to PROVE that they're making good money and living a GOOD LIFE.  Oh Oh.  WHEN will people understand that To Live A Good Life, you DON'T need to make good money.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong because WHO does NOT want to have good money💴💷💵

And we're NOT saying that money is NOT that important.  In fact, it is.  Money is the fuel that you need to drive your life.  BUT what's the point of having that fuel if you're using it only to show people HOW pretty your life car is, right?  I mean, in that case, you're NOT enjoying the ride anyway.  Very frankly, you're just stalking people with that money fuel to show off!@#$%?📗📙📘

Now, let's call a spade a spade.  NOT to be a kill-joy [a.k.a. KJ] BUT that 'life car' you're so proud of is also a 'RENTED' one.  Once your 'LIFE LEASE' is over, you gotta hand over it NO MATTER how pretty or beautiful it is.  And also, it DOESN'T matter how much money fuel you've got in your bank.  That just DOESN'T matter.  Because eventually you'll just have to let go of all of that💎💎💎

So, WHAT'S our takeaway for today? WHY don't we ENJOY LIFE while your LEASE [of LIFE] is still up?  Furthermore, NOT to mention, the biggest mistake people make is thinking that their life car runs only on "MONEY FUEL" @#$%?  No sirrrrrrrrrrs.  WHAT about 'TIME FUEL'?  You can still push your 'LIFE CAR' even with no 'MONEY FUEL' left, yes you can✅✅✅

Without 'TIME FUEL', you can only use your 'LIFE CAR' and 'MONEY FUEL' until you have got the 'TIME FUEL' in your stock.  Once that stock is finished, so is your 'LIFE LEASE', LIFE CAR, and MONEY FUEL.  And what's our worst mistake [and which mistake I was once guilty in the past]?  They are using precious and priceless TIME FUEL to chase MONEY FUEL.  Genuis, right?  BUT i DON'T want to commit that same mistake again.  In a nutshell, let us STOP living in the FEAR of missing out and START living in the joy of missing out because YOU DON'T NEED MUCH MONEY TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE❗❗❗

Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO?

Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO?

It's true, it's easier said than done.  I can keep pitching for LESSONS IN LIFE but it seems damn easy for me because I just need to BLOG IT OUT.  BUT WHAT IF you need to say NO to something?  Ironically, this two-letter word is one of the most difficult words to be translated into ACTION.  For many of us [and that includes moi till now], saying NO is packed with guilt.  BUT If You Don't Like It, Do Something About It, right❓❓❓

In many cases, we are afraid of disappointing someone especially if that someone is your BFF, your spouse/partner, your boss, your client.  OR maybe we happen to be a 'people pleaser'?  NO matter the reasons, learning how to say NO is an important skill for your own well-being.  Our time and energy are precious resources that we should use wisely.  And that means we CAN'T do everything.  WHAT we need to agree on is declining certain requests is sometimes better than just saying a token YES!@#$%?📗📙📘

To figure out our struggles in frankly saying NO, sometimes it stems back to our childhood when from an early age, children are taught to be polite and forthcoming.  If a parent or teacher asked a child to do something, saying NO was interpreted as a form of disobedience.  In some cases, refusing an adult meant punishment or a negative reinforcement.  However, this can cause issues around communication and self-assertion💎💎💎

Being raised to say NO is bad makes it difficult for children to communicate their preferences.  For example, this inability to SPEAK UP for themselves continues into adulthood [and this is alarming].  Another reason you may find it difficult to say NO is doubt❎❎❎

Psychologists have coined 'IMPOSTER SYNDROME' as something that impacts a good number of people as it is that condition of feeling anxious and NOT experiencing success internally. despite high-performing in external and objective ways.  At the end of the day, we got to break up our inability [OR hesitation] to say NO even for the most valid reason.  Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO❓❓❓

LIFE Is SHORT. Why Live It The BORING WAY?

LIFE Is SHORT.  Why Live It The BORING WAY?

LIFE Is SHORT.  Why Live It The BORING WAY.  BTW, most of us DON'T want to live life the boring way BUT unconsciously, many end up on the wrong side of the road by simply NOT being aware.  WHEN people want to do what everybody else is doing.  WHEN they want to take that old path.  WHEN they want to be part of the crowd📗📙📘

Unfortunately, more often than not, the outcome is the same.  It is all because we care too much about other's OPINIONS.  WHEN we live by other's OPINIONS, we end up taking DECISIONS by keeping the OPINIONS in our mind.  We even end up with that FEAR what others will tell us.  And eventually, we become that obedient, nice and good guy in the community.  WHAT happens next?  Nobody cares as in NOBODY.  Because so many people are just the same.  So you are in the crowd of some directionless sheep that's just doing WHAT the majority is doing💊💊💊

And, the mother of all ironies is that we still expect the world to care about us?  One writer said:  ON YOUR DEATHBED, THE ONLY THING YOU WILL CARE ABOUT IS NOT PEOPLE'S OPINIONS AT ALL.  That will matter the least.  The only thing you will look up to is your JOURNEY and IF that DOESN'T make you happy, fulfilled and proud, you will have NOTHING other than a bucket full of regrets on your deathbed📌📌📌

The very hard core reality we need to face is that the ONLY thing you will have is your JOURNEY  and we should make sure it is worth remembering.  And to quote a poet, THE UNIVERSE REWARDS A REBEL.  One who DOESN'T give a 'shit' about people's opinions.  One WHO lives life on his OWN TERMS.  And one who is up for 'something crazy'.  You may NOT like them BUT you DO respect them💎💎💎

So what makes our life BORING?  We're satisfied with OUR job, OUR income, OUR relationship, OUR plan.  So when we're satisfied [which supposedly is fine], we end up okay and contented.  Flip side of it, we being to abhor GROWTH, simply because we fear CHANGE.  And that makes our life terribly BORING.  But hey, your GROWTH has NO limits, NO boundaries.  Our final thoughts:  WE ALL HAVE TWO LIVES.  THE SECOND BEINGS ONCE WE REALIZE WE HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE❗❗❗

WARNING: Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE

WARNING:  Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE

Believe it OR not, our everyday habits decide our FUTURE selves.  Even those small intentional choices made over a period of time decide what your future will look like.  LIFE LESSONS are full of wisdom because they are learned the HARD WAY.  Different phases of life teach us different lessons.  This is a WARNING with regard some HARD  Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE📗📙📘

To quote an anonymous writer's captivating equation, "between B[birth] and D[death] is C[choice].  So, this equation tells us that we always have a CHOICE in life.  You can CHOOSE to decide what is going to be your NEXT STEP in creating the life you want.  Utilizing this underrated POWER of CHOICE every time we make a DECISION can help us reach one step closer to what's ideal💎💎💎

Here's what we learn LATE IN LIFE:

• FEAR of what others say or think
• WAITING TO RETIRE to live the life you want
• TAKING for granted your mind and body
• STOPPING to learn & invest in new skills
• Missing out the 'COMPOUNDING' power

And across many studies, two lessons most often LEARNED LATE IN LIFE:

• EXPECTING TOXIC PEOPLE TO CHANGE - And the recommendation of experts is once you encounter a person who is nothing but TOXIC, the next step is to maintain a significant distance from them OR a complete CUT-OFF.  There's this quote:  A SNAKE NEVER FORGETS TO BITE BECAUSE IT'S SIMPLY INGRAINED IN ITS NATURE

• NEGATIVE SELF-TALK CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE as it is one's INNER DIALOGUE with oneself that may be limiting one's ability to believe in oneself and one's abilities to reach one's potential.  While we are our own CRITICS [because nobody knows us better than us] BUT NEGATIVE SELF-TALK can drag us down and as per studies, it can wreck one's mental health and cause depression and anxiety

Can we LEARN THESE LESSONS EARLIER THAN LATER, IN LIFE❓❓❓

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER is something that is nice to think and dream at the start BUT if we have 'fallen off the cliff', looking back could be quite a nightmare.  BUT we should NOT get bogged down with those slippages.  Instead, WHAT if we draw from Zen Buddhism's "BEGINNER's MIND" idea that the best solutions emerge when we let go of all thoughts and our desire for achievement💴💷💵

Taking a leaf from ZEN BUDDHISM, when we are starting off that long ladder of our journey in life, we are encouraged to adopt an attitude of OPENNESS and CURIOSITY, delighting in learning something new constantly.  And then as a stepping stone, each time we LEARN something, no matter how minor it is, we need to use that hard-earned knowledge as a foundation to explore new possibilities, no matter how knowledgeable we are, and NOT as a barrier to keep things out📗📙📘

To quote researchers, "BEGINNER'S MIND IS AN EXPERT LEADER", a paradox that drives progress.  Experts also claim that a "BEGINNER'S MIND" is compassion in action because it excludes preconceived notions and judgments of HOW things should be.  Instead, they claim that BEGINNERS have that mindset that enables to foster the connection, trust and innovation that needs to thrive💎💎💎

So, even as BEGINNERS, we are encouraged to identify our own Top 5 or Top 10 situations that will automatically move you to rely on HOW you've always done things and to shut out new possibilities.  And once you're coming to learn a new SKILL or exploring a new field, apply that newly acquired SKILLS in practical terms.  As they say, the "BEGINNER's MIND" is about seeing things anew, free from the bias of past triumphs or even failures✅✅✅

WHAT's our takeaway today?  THAT as we thrive in life, it can't be scripted.  THAT this is when authenticity thrives.  THAT as we keep engaged in the learning process, we will grow despite the slip-ups and failures along the way.  THAT as we continue that JOURNEY from being a BEGINNER to a LEADER, humility of acquiring new knowledge must prevail even as we evolve from a BEGINNER to a LEADER❗❗❗

It's Nice To Be Nice BUT...

 It's Nice To Be Nice BUT...

It's Nice To Be Nice BUT... How often have we heard:  "WOW, SHE'S NICE, SHE BRINGS FOOD TO THE PARTY" or... "BILL IS SO NICE, HE ALWAYS HELPS ME OUT IN MY HOMEWORK".  Surely you have heard phrases and PRAISES similar to these  about NICE people.  And please DON'T get me wrong.  Being NICE is NOT bad OR wrong.  But studies who dug deep into these NICE manifestations all ended up with the same conclusion that most of those NICETIES are seemingly selfish acts of kindness that do deserve praise💴💷💵

BUT here's a dampening share.  According to studies, most NICE people are merely signaling their NICENESS.  THAT they aren't good people in reality BUT they are just great at SIGNALING.  And the researches opine that many of us [likely including me sometimes] are so good at it that we DON'T realize we do it until it's brought to our attention📗📙📘

To quote one research, which is somewhat persuasive enough, "NICE PEOPLE AREN'T GOOD PEOPLE, THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE BROUGHT UP IN ENVIRONMENTS WHERE NICE BEHAVIOR IS REWARDED".  To reinforce that, they conform to social incentives.  So, the bigger question to us:  DO WE WANT TO DO GOOD OR HAVE WE MERELY CONFORMED TO WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD BEHAVIOR❓❓❓

And this is another debatable part wherein the researches are one to speak in unison that the common characteristics of people who often fall into the NICE PERSON category are as follows:

• Those with HIGH INCLINATION to conform
• Those with STRONG NEED to socially belong

Now, rather than be argumentative, let's agree on safe 'COMMON GROUNDS'.  To be NICE and be a GOOD person means doing whatever is best for humanity.  It means sacrificing, and whatever it takes to be sacrificed.  And that is the path that bears most meaning.  The difficult part is BEING GOOD may mean walking the path alone.  Bringing up contrarian ideas.  Becoming disliked by social groups.  All for humanity💎💎💎

If we have a benchmark for all these, I can think of ELON MUSK.  He sacrificed everything.  He worked 100-hour weeks and for ten years, without recognition.  All for humanity until he achieved the breakthrough which remains unmatched and unparalleled till now.  IT'S NICE TO BE NICE BUT...✅✅✅