Live In The Moment

Live In The Moment

Live In The Moment.  Really?  Yesirrrrrrs we got to Live In The Moment.  BUT you might play devil's and challenge me:  WHY do some people are advised to look back on their past so they could pick up lessons from there?  Which, somehow is valid.  OR you might blurt out as we are often challenged to look towards the future, plot and plan things because that's our journey.  Oh, that's somehow valid again BUT all these are being taken with a misplaced context⏳⏳⏳

And on many scenarios, we ourselves are struggling with the present.  Either we are facing serious problems even as we speak OR life has just been too tough, you're looking forward to shove this present moment because of the very serious issues you're currently facing.  Oh, I can relate to that feeling, that feeling of 'escaping from your problems💎💎💎

To LIVE IN THE MOMENT, you need to FOCUS on the now.  FOCUS on what you're doing now.  Place your iPad/smart phones in airplane mode and power off your TV set and shutdown your laptop.  Slow down and savor the present.  LIVING IN THE MOMENT means we need to try practicing mindfulness to reduce stress, and as medical experts claim, we can hope that even our immune system will be boosted, giving us various physical and mental effects📌📌📌

Paying attention to details is also helpful.  Look around the world around you, including those small-small things.  Be thankful for them.  LIVING FOR THE MOMENT and taking notice of the small things will help us cultivate more positive eperiences.  Those little things could include like when you're eating ice cream, blowing bubbles or music-tripping✅✅✅

Oh, SMILE.  If you DON'T have friends to smile to, face the mirror and just smile.  Studies show that making an emotional face influences how we feel.  Studies show that there is an association in our mind between how we feel and how we react.  Our face communicates our state of mind to others and even to ourselves.  Lastly, DON'T WORRY.  It may sound harder than it sounds but remember worrying today WON'T change what happens tomorrow Every second you spend in worry is a second of the present wasted❗❗❗

When Things Start Going Sideways

When Things Start Going Sideways 

Once, someone asked me, which one you dread more?  When Things Start Going South ?  OR When Things Start Going Sideways ?  Obviously, the former is what I dread most because it becomes akin to a flight whose pilot has raised the 'MAYDAY' alarm.  Whereas. based on semantics alone, GOING SIDEWAYS would imply that there is still a fairly good chance to bring back things ON-TRACK because it got 'OFF-TRACKED' just momentarily.  Nevertheless, you might question me, does this deserve to be our topic today❓❓❓

Now, even as going sideways may be akin to this vehicle sitting on its side, bottom line is that at that point, things are NOT that bad in your life.  And this seems to be the best time to get back ON TRACK.  Going back to basics, STICK TO YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE, simple as that💊💊💊

Secondly, BE CAREFUL BUT DON'T OBSESS.  As we all follow the guidelines, it is important to be careful and thorough WITHOUT obsessing about the worst possible scenario.  EATING HEALTHILY is another no-brainer but worth mentioning because it may end up with a healthy version of you.  Now if there's one fight you got to fight on, FIGHT SADNESS and ANXIETY with CREATIVITY.  It is just so easy to become overloaded BUT inspiration could come to the rescue.  Just remember you DON'T want to trigger an SOS call yet⏳⏳⏳

In the most simple terms, WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS, DON'T GO WITH THEM.  Even when life is rocking along, that DOESN'T mean you WON'T encounter bumps in the road.  It DOESN'T mean that we are immune to it but simply put, let's go back ON TRACK the soonest possible time✅✅✅

WHY are there countless frustrating failures in life?  WHY do many people end up in limbo [of NOT purgatory]?  WHY do failures DON'T get splashed in the U.K. tabloids or go viral?  Likely it's because many of them took things for granted when it started GOING SIDEWAYS❓❓❓

Gotta Earn Your Dough

Gotta Earn Your Dough

No matter how you make your living, whether you're a doctor, a technician, an office worker or even a priest/pastor, I guess the trick of being happy with what you do lies in looking for and findling the sublime and perhaps even the Divine in your work.  Having said that, you just Gotta Earn Your Dough because UNLESS you spew out and exert every ounce of effort [and that comes with sweat], nothing will happen💊💊💊

It's true, those with a 'silver spoon' in their mouth need NOT earn their dough but the catch is, that dough will keep getting reduced till one day, he's got NO dough left.  But who wants to have his dough trickle down in volume till he ends up empty-handed?  Sadly, I can attest to that sad scenario.  And if we go back and dissect the value of the dough, surely we'll pick up some key lessons here📌📌📌

Going back to the dough, the analogy with life is the dough's resilience.  In case you have NOT read typical instructions of 'punching down the dough', as it just springs straight back a few minutes later, even novices in dough would attest that the dough would continue to rise higher.  So, if we were only like dough in that respect, if only we could ride with the punches life throws at us💎💎💎

BUT while dough seems a forgiving medium to work with, if we are into a technical work even likea carpenter or metal worker, of we make the slightest scratch or glitch in our work, it will remain there for all eternity.  For those with kids, if you harp on all of your child's imperfections [and worse, even accentuate them], they will probably end up being permanent when they become adults.  Conversely, if you provide a loving environment that accentuates your strengths rather than their weaknesses, when they grow into aduithood, most [if NOT all] of those imperfections will disappear and their good traits become dominant✅✅✅

BTW, dough that is pumped full of air does NOT lead to a better bread.  Unfortunately, in life, we are fooled into thinking that that which is puffed and more visually attractive is the better product. We know deep down that it's NOT only the 'preening' and the outward appearance that matters but also the substance.  What kind of people do we prefer?  Those who are puffed full of hot air and little else?  Or those who have some substance, integrity, honesty and values❓❓❓

ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER

ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER 

We all know what ANGER is, whether it's a fleeting annoyance or indeed a full-blown rage.  ANGER is a completely normal and sometimes a healthy human emotion.  BUT when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems, problems at work or in your personal relationships and even in the overall quality of life.  In fact, ANGER can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.  Gotta remember, ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER💊💊💊

As defined in the medical industry, ANGER is an 'emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage'.  Just like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes.  Doctors even opined that when we get angry, our HEART RATE and BLOOD PRESSURE would go up, as do the levels of hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline.  And yes, ANGER can be caused by both external and internal events, It could a person you're angry or an event [e.g. traffic or a cancelled flight]📌📌📌

Now, fasten your belts because things can go from bad to worse.  The instinctive and natural way to express ANGER is to respond aggressively.  ANGER is a natural, adaptive response to threats.  It inspires powerful and often aggressive feelings and behaviors which would allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked.  A certain amount of anger is indeed sometimes part of survival✅✅✅

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us.  And people use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their ANGRY feelings.  While there are three approaches EXPRESSING, SUPPRESSING and CALMING, be wary and aware that ANGER is just ONE LETTER AWAY from 'DANGER'❗❗❗

BTW, experts advised that ANGER can be suppressed, then converted and redirected and this happens when you hold in your ANGER, then STOP thinking about it, then FOCUS on something positive.  The aim is to inhibit or suppress your ANGER and convert it into a constructive behavior.  BTW, beware of unexpressed anger because it may lead you to other problems💎💎💎

Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

 Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet? Oh, that's NOT news to us at all as FALSE STARTS often happen in life.  The bigger question is, how do we handle FALSE STARTS? In the sports world, FALSE STARTS are a favorite topic even from a conceptual perspective.  In sports, a FALSE START is a movement by a participant before being signalled or otherwise permitted by the rules to start.  FALSE STARTS are common in racing sports and happen when anxiety overtakes the athlete.  In some sports, FALSE STARTS can even disqualify the participant from the competition💊💊💊

Just like in races, life is filled with misguided or unsuccessful attempts to begin something and this can be based on our anxiety and impatience.  Sometimes, our FALSE STARTS are about a legitimate need or desire and when this happens, we can feel disappointed, demotivated and even seemingly feel like a 'cast off' in life.  Surely, we have had our fair share of FALSE STARTS and I can share some of it⏳⏳⏳

Let's face it, everyone of us do struggle at some points in our life.  I can share a trivial one but which did impact me in the past.  Every week, I want to start the work week by waking up early and be on the road to office NLT [no later than] 600am as I just hate it if I feel zapped and drained [from the horrendous traffic gridlocks on a Monday]📌📌📌

You might be inclined to conclude that FALSE STARTS are mistakes.  No sirrrrs, NOT AT ALL.  It is NOT a mistake and instead, it is a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.  Truth is, FALSE STARTS can actuallly be a good thing happening to us.  WHY?  Because we have more than enough buffer time [and probably] that motivation and energy since we're just at the START💎💎💎

Simply put, FALSE STARTS give us the head start in RIGHTING THE WRONGS way early in the game.  Unlike snags that we hit towards the homestretch, FALSE STARTS are opportunities for us to 'right the ship' but it has to be acted on with URGENCY because time WON'T be on your side with FALSE STARTS✅✅✅

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  Either RUIN or REDEMPTION is NOT that palatable.  RUIN implying you're in tatters whereas REDEMPTION implying you're somewhere 'purgatory' clinging on flickering hopes to turnaround and rebound.  But assuming you are, so Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION? Now let's start handicapped.  Being in RUINS mean that your situation is probably near or somewhere gutter-level, very likely hitting the 'end of the road' sooner [rather than later] whereas if you're closer to REDEMPTION, that's NOT too bad because it means you are on the upswing⌛⌛⌛

First things first.  While many times we end up as the culprit when our life is in RUINS, you better be watchful because many times, the ones intending to ruin you or your life are 'HCP's' a.k.a. high-conflict personalities.  Think of those times when someone manifesting his moods to swing wildly?  And then it leads you to ask if they're acting either unreasonably, suspiciously or they are simply antagonistic❓❓❓

BTW, do they blame others for their own problems?  Hmmm, some difficult people are just damn too hard to deal with.  Some may even be that dangerous.  Studies show that when a high-conflict person [HCP] has one of five common personality disorders [that's BORDERLINE, NARCISSISTIC, PARANOID, ANTISOCIAL or HISTRIONIC], they can lash out in very risky extremes of emotion and aggression.  And once an HCP decides to target you, they're just hard to shake off.  Unfortunately, most of the times, we end up that low-hanging prey totally oblivious of what happens next.  But as this book by Justin Miller tells us, there are ways to protect our own selves.  Embracing empathy-driven conflict management techniques, we can wiggle out from that situation📌📌📌

But as a layman, let us break this down.  First off, SPOT WARNING SIGNS, those tell-tale signs of the five high-conflicted personalities both in others and in yourself before you assess things.  Then, do consider to manage your relationships, if any, with HCPs whether at work or in your private life.  And as a practical measure, AVOID or simply end dangerous or stressful interactions with HCPs💎💎💎

So, what's our take for today?  I'd like to piggy-back on one of my previous blogs where when I said DON'T LET YOUR LOWS GET TOO LOW and DON'T LET YOUR HIGHS GET TOO HIGH.  Either scenario does NOT augur well for us.  Let's endeavor to replicate the airplane's cycle when it starts with that takeoff leading to that steep trajectory only to fly on 'AUTO PILOT' once it reaches it's cruising altitude✅✅✅

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life? You can bet it is so damn serious, enough for Apple's annual R&D budget to keep increasing by leaps and bounds year on year [y-o-y].  Five years ago, the budget was $4.5 Bn.  In 2022, it's annual budget for R&D jumped to $27 Bn and at the core of that is the IOS FOCUS MODE💎💎💎

In today's ever-evolving digital world, our brain's ability to concentrate on a central task has become increasingly more difficult to do.  However, with the right mindset and practice, you can train your mind to IGNORE distractions and remain present .  Understanding the benefits of staying FOCUSED can be crucial to success no matter how small or large is your task, and it can help you gauge how you can improve⏳⏳⏳

So, why are we making a fuss of FOCUS?  It is too big and too important to ignore because it is how one pays attention or concentrates on a particular person or thing.  When someone is focused, their attention is centered on a focal point.  At the workplace, an employee is FOCUSED when his attention is geared toward achieving his goal at work but things DON'T stop there.  Instead, we need to continue improving our FOCUS📌📌📌

Quick quiz:  What's our #1 culprit of losing FOCUS regardless of culture or calling?  Yesirrrrrs, it is DISTRACTION.  You will be more productive and have a better chance of staying focused when you remove anything in your surroundings that might cause such DISTRACTIONS.  If feasible, try keeping your mobile phone in a different room or put it in airplane mode✅✅✅

Oh yes, I can't agree less.  Our lives is like a camera.  FOCUS is at its very core.  So how does the camera technology enable its FOCUS?  Hmmmm, according to Apple's "TIM COOK DOCTRINE", in life, PRIORITIZE things.  That let's you FOCUS on one task at a time, allowing you to methodically work through your tasks instead of being overwhelmed and likely ineffectual.  If Apple's iPhones did grab that sizable market share, credit goes to that FOCUS function of its camera❗❗❗

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Our piece today is NOT about Bees and Bee Hives but please allow me to correlate it to life so Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone.  It so happens that given all things are equal in life, there are unfortunate stories where another person just butts in coming from out of nowhere.  Not a sweeping statement but per se, this is not appropriate📗📙📘

Not to deride Singlist [Singaporean-English] as I lived there for nine years, 'Kaypoh' has evolved to be a local coinage which means 'REALLY CURIOUS' which happens when someone wants to know about everything [as much as possible].  Eventually, 'KEPO' evolved which meant 'Know every particular object'.  But per se, there is nothing wrong with being 'KEPO' but if one is coming straight from the cold, when one was NOT even part of the exchange of words, then outsider is NOT privileged enough to intrude and be a meddler💎💎💎

The British tabloids are the favorite 'whipping boys' when breaches to personal privacy are raised.  Of course, the British tabloids will claim that since they operate in a much smaller market as compared to U.S. media market.  And that has led to more contentious relationships between those celebrities and the British tabloids.  So, the more outlandish headlines were, the more intrigued the reader is, then tabloids sell more⌛⌛⌛

Forget about the controversial media though.  What matters most is how we lead our lives.  As long as you can attest that you're NOT a nosey parker, then you're good enough.  But let's admid that there is a fine thin line that separates nosey parkers.  WHAT IF you got dragged into it.  WHAT IF one of the protagonists is your Meta/FB friend, hence you get alerted with those social media squabbles.  WHAT IF you/your Meta/FB profile was tagged.  Obviously those are exceptions that will absolve you of breaching the moral and legal rules governing personal privacy📌📌📌

So, what's our take on all these?  It's the fact that BEE HIVES ARE BEST LEFT ALONE.  Else, you might end up thanklessly stirring a pot that will boil up, spill and even burn you.  Lesson here is that with social media very much embedded in our day-to-day life, there is enough and reasonable 'wiggle room' for us to avoid ending up bitten 'black and blue' by the BEES✅✅✅

OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors

 OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors

This is one of the most over-quoted one-liner: OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors but allow me to piggy-back on this because this is as relevant everyday in our lives.  How often do we find ourselves in a situation when we're so comfortable within our 'zone' such that anything outside of our 'comfort zone' is not worth even for a second to ponder⏳⏳⏳

Which reminds me of that old definition of INSANITY, which is, DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.  So, why DON'T we try something new?  If we map this in a simple equation, it runs this way:  OLD WAYS = guilt or hesitation NEW WAYS = embracing change and valuing oneself💊💊💊

Frankly, NOT knowing what life is going to throw at us next, we understand the temptation to regress to tried and tested ones.  BUT, by playing it safe, it's highly probable that we will end up creating a wider problem, in that it ignores broader changes in both one's behavior and even within your very environment.  So, let us NOT fear change because after all, OLD WAYS won't open NEW DOORS for you.  Whether it's in your personal life or in business, let's admit that to build a better tomorrow, you have to be willing to do things differently today.  And accept that CHANGE is difficult⏳⏳⏳

As in any change, you will grapple with tons of tools, it's your choice.  And as life can get busy, that list goes on.  And what we need to do is decide as to what tool is what will lead you to embrace that CHANGE.   But the harshest truth is that if we need to re-train ourselves to embrace CHANGE, let's do it📌📌📌

Even the biggest global organizations budget so much $$$$$ not only to align its employees to its CHANGE initiatives but to significantly increase the buy-in to CHANGES, starting from stakeholders all the way to the ground level.  Back into our lives, let us NOT get stuck with the proven OLD WAYS because there is more in store for us in NEW WAYS❗❗❗

That Fire In The Belly

That Fire In The Belly

Let's go for fine dining. pick your favorite watering holes and restaurants.  Surely, included in the Chef-recommended dishes are those that feature dishes straight from the belly, whether it's from red meat or even from salmon fish.  All these tell us how mouth-watering anything that comes from the belly.  Ooooops, for today's piece, we'll spend time on THAT FIRE IN THE BELLY📗📙📘

Swinging back into our lives, why do we really need THAT FIRE IN THE BELLY?  Again, let's go back to those scrumptious dishes whether from red meat or from the best premium fish.  Everything boils down to the belly.  I recall sharing this before.  Like at the workplace, we get SUPER-motivated when we have a very stern boss, which means, out of fear, we get motivated.  Or when we get promoted, that SUPER-motivates us.  But for how long❓❓❓

Where many of us end up on the wrong path is due to motivation being tagged as a problem, which means we start looking for a solution.  WHAT IF you end up with the wrong solution?  In the end, each attempt to motivate ourselves will likely increase that STRESS coupled with the GUILT as it widens the gap between that motivational level and the follow-through, that is between how badly we want to achieve something and our failure to achieve it💎💎💎

We then end up with that misconception that if we only cared enough about something, we would do something about it.  But that is just NOT true.  After all, MOTIVATION is all in our mind whereas that FOLLOW-THROUGH is in the practice.  MOTIVATION is conceptual.  FOLLOW-THROUGH is practical.  In fact, the solution to a motivational problem is the exact opposite of the solution to a FOLLOW-THROUGH problem.  Point here is that our mind is essential to MOTIVATION.  But with FOLLOW-THROUGH, it's the mind that gets in the way💙💛💚

We're all guilty at some point in the past, like when you decide to go to the gym after work but then it's time to go, we'll tell ourselves like "IT'S LATE, I'M TIRED, MAYBE I'LL SKIP IT TODAY'. Call it procrastination but truth is, you may not have that FIRE IN THE BELLY✅✅✅