See What Needs To Be Seen

See What Needs To Be Seen

Happy Weekend folks.  And to help lead us towards a more restful weekend, I thought our piece today regarding our EYES and what we can SEE and ought to SEE deserves today's space.  So, the question is as much everyone is gifted with the EYES to SEE, do we always See What Needs To Be Seen?  I doubt it, to be honest.  Quite often [and this happened a few times to me in the past], much as we are gifted with that sight and vision, for various reasons [and some of which are unfathomable], we are are unable to See What Needs To Be Seen, whew.

Which reminds me of this sharing from Quora [posted by Jerusalem Artichoke] on November 20th].  A blond went up to the police officer on the street and said 'Officer, I locked my keys in my car over there.  Can you help me?'  The officer said 'How good is your vision?'  The blonde said, 'I have 20/20 vision but what's that got to do with unlocking my car?'  The officer said 'Well, I can see from here that your windows are rolled down', whew.

Truth is, you first need to learn how to view your problems differently.  When you encounter a problem, think about the outcome and then, pick up the lesson learned from there. The first instinct may be to whine and complain but over a few days, the purpose of the problem will reveal itself to you, it will surface out and there's just no way for you, for us to deny and refuse that that problem "CAN'T BE SEEN" at all.  Unfortunately, it is hard to change our way of thinking the negatives into positives.  But over time, that skill can be acquired. 

If you are patient with yourself and do not intend of rushing your thoughts.  Sometimes, some of our most frustrating problems in life can be the most valuable lesson we can ever learn from.  To think of it as a lesson rather than an obstacle helps you  to accept the fact that that problem is intended to help you become a better person [and not a bad person].

Even if we wade through the waters along the famous canals in Venice, the most exciting news of our problems in life is that is that it can happen anywhere but yet those lessons aren't taught to us in school at all.  Those problems are often like a volcano, dormant as we know it but next day, it spews lava when it erupts, These problems teach you more than 'JUST BE NICE'.  Instead, it teaches us the value of character and the true understanding of why it happened.  We just need to SEE HAT NEEDS TO BE SEEN✅✅✅

BUFFET Meals Versus BUFFET Learning

BUFFET Meals Versus BUFFER Learning

Good day readers.  Here's a 'silly' question to pick your brains.  What's the difference between BUFFET Meals Versus BUFFET Learning?  Let's start with their commonality.   Both are buffet-driven so both will offer you that much UNLIMITED options.  But commonalities end up there because from that point onwards, there is a huge gap between BUFFET Meals Versus BUFFET Learning

Juxtapositioned against BUFFET LEARNING, this is when the waters in the RED SEA will part ways.  Whereas in BUFFET MEALS, at some point you will grind to a halt because any further intake becomes inimical to your health, with BUFFET LEARNING, it's really UNLIMITED.  You can't go on and on, as long as you have that intestinal appetite to LEARN, nothing can stop you therein.

Not to wet your appetite for all these foodies, let's swing over to LEARNING because that is at the very core of our piece today. With BUFFET Learning, you really have everything to gain and NOTHING TO LOSE at all.  Some [wrongly] perceive that since our brain's capacity is as finite as our laptop's HDD, there is this logic being popularly [but wrongly] peddled that we should be selective of things to learn so as NOT to exhaust our brain's HDD.

What were the worst things you heard to date?  WHY I SHOULD I KEEP LEARNING WHEN I GRADUATED ALREADY?  WHY LEARN WHEN I'M PAST MY PRIME?  ARE YOU PUSHING ME TO LEARN AGAIN?  NO WAY I'M PAST THAT PHASE.  These are all baloney, BTW.

German Physicist Albert Einstein's famous one-liner was this:  ONCE YOU STOP LEARNING, YOU START DYING.  What a scary and morbid statement but that CAN'T be farther from the truth. You can challenge and ask me if I'm walking the talk?  Yes sirrrrs I got to confide to you that I extensively scribble on my iPhone notepad because I am an ardent believer of BUFFET LEARNING❗❗❗

FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

For the longest time, deep within me, I [very wrongly] thought that FAILURE is The Opposite of SUCCESS but after having gone through the wringer, the rough and tumble phases in my life, I am now doing a hundred eighty degree turn and instead preach that FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS [and with my sleeves rolled, I'm more than willing to trade punches [a.k.a. PROs and CONs].  Truth is, FAILURE is very much part of SUCCESS.  When you realize that, you free yourself from that FEAR of FAILURE.  In life, FAILURE is inevitable and the best leaders learn from their FAILURE, that is a hardened fact.

Let that sink in.  When we get scared even on that slim probability of failing, we are likely to decide to make NO choice, NO decision, NO move.  When the "WHAT IFs" start to outweigh your momentum, you loose sight of your vision, period. To quote respected American writer Arianna Huffington [who's written 15 books [and still counting]] said: " WE NEED TO ACCEPT THAT WE WON'T ALWAYS MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS, THAT [SOMETIMES] WE'LL SCREW UP, UNDERSTANDING THAT FAILURE IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF SUCCESS, IT'S PART OF SUCCESS.

If many us sometimes procrastinate, it's because fearing failure does breed that hesitation + procrastination.  Which is exactly what YOU DO NOT WHAT TO DO.  Because what separates dreamers and doers is that just that.  If you want to be a doer, if you want to create something for yourself, it's up to you to do so.  If you DON'T access that you may FAIL, you compromise your ability to be FEARLESS,

Indeed there's a balance between taking the plunge and blindly jumping to failure.  And just because you shouldn't fear failure doesn't mean you shouldn't try and avoid it.  Instead, you should aim to find the middle ground, create situations where you probably won't fail.  And even if you do, know that you will learn from it.  When you fall back down you not only need to get back up and try again, you need to get back up and try a new approach because FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

Whatever you do, DON'T fear FAILURE or think that FAILURE is the opposite of success.  Learning from FAILURE, and turning it into lessons, can ultimately make you extremely successful.  If only we can decide to get this one-liner embedded deep within us.  that SUCCESS & FAILURE are Siamese Twins.  FAILURE will lead you towards SUCCESS because it is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS📌📌📌

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR.  Getting straight from this poster was what I did as soon as I came across this one-liner.

Indeed, there is a huge disparity between a FLOOR and a CEILING.  While the former may be the lowest point, the CEILING may be the very peak of things.  And that's when the huge gap between the FLOOR and the CEILING becomes very wide and huge, sometimes seemingly daunting for someone to even reconcile with.

Thing is, we are NOT entirely at fault when our goals are seemingly leveled with or near the ground.  Probably, we were not enlightened that that goal should not be that LOW.  So, when is our goal setting be deemed LOW?  IF it is easy to achieve, IF your probability to succeed achieving it is near 100% way before you started on it, IF that goal would have you hardly sweat, IF that goal will give you so much time to divert and dilute your focus by multi-tasking, IF achieving your goal is NOT your priority because it is achievable, these are tell-tale signs that your goal is AS LOW AS THE FLOOR.

In brief, while setting LOW goals is NOT that wrong enough, that should motivate us to MOVE THE GOAL POST as soon as possible.  Why?  Because we DON'T want you to be complacent and just so 'comfy', wrongly thinking that you can now be deemed as a SUCCESS STORY.  That would be the worst baloney, something you DON'T deserve at all.

Now, you might wonder, how come the world is littered with tonnes and tonnes of success stories.  From Elon Musk to the billionaire Russians to the business moguls from Wall Street and even swinging to the billionaire Indians alongside Mukesh Ambani, what sets them apart from us?  Tricky question but let's take a leaf from Elon Musk who's mantra is to keep working and NOT SLEEP until he gets his work done.  Success stories like Elon Musk should inspire us all and WAKE US UP from our deep slumber, thinking our CEILING is their CEILING📗📘📙

Be Like The Paddy

Be Like The Paddy

No sirrrrs, today's piece is not about farming or agriculture.  Not my turf hehehe.  But instead, we'd like to have a deeper appreciation of the PADDY AS IT BENDS[with HUMILITY] as it is laden with ripening grains.  Translated to our life, it would be worth looking back to those times in our life when we were at the peak of things, when we were basking in the light of our successes, be it the tangible or intangibles, how were we?  How was our HUMILITY when the sun was nice and dandy?

Honestly, today I was hesitant to have HUMILITY as our piece for today.  I thought it sounds BORING.  But hey, humility is interesting because it neither revered nor cherished.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is MISTAKEN for WEAKNESS because who wants to admit that they are NOT the center of their own world?  However, let's admit it that HUMILITY is a 'big brother' to PATIENCE.  

To exercise HUMILITY, the challenge is that it becomes INTENTIONAL because they DON'T come naturally to many of us.  And while HUMILITY is a simple human characteristic, it is very much lacking in our lives.  As we live in a world where it is "ALL ABOUT ME', from the upkeep of our appearance, our reputation on social media, self-gratifying behavior

and the obsession with money and consumerism, it is so easy to lose touch with placing others before ourselves.  With an astonishing rise in divorce rates and an increase in individuals choosing to be single, we as humans must go back to the very basics of KINDNESS and HUMILITY.  This Chinese Proverb says the same things about the bamboo how it bows deeper even when it grows much much higher.

BTW, it is NOT always "ABOUT YOU'.  To be humble, we need to value pther people and their opinions without indulging in SELF-PRIDE.  HUMILITY is the opposite of boastfulness and arrogance.  Often times we are so concerned with winning the argument and being right then we forget to listen to others just like the paddy, the bamboo📕📗📘

When The ROT Runs DEEP

When The ROT Runs DEEP

When The ROT Runs DEEP, what do we do ?  Too bad, most of us would simply shrug it off.  Sweeping it under the carper.  No issue.  No problem.  Nada.  But hey, that's a FAUX PAS to say the least.  But before diving into our lives, let's step back and ask, why does food rot?  Simple  That process of spoiling is a natural part of the life cycle of all foods.  And the biggest bonus about this fact is that we can VERY EASILY detect it either by smell, taste, sight or feel.  The same logic goes for fruits.  It's part of that given process of spoiling.  Now, swinging to our lives, why is it that sometimes, we would [finally] realize that there seems to be something that's ROT in our life?  Hey hey hey, before you react vociferously, having a ROT or two in our life [I had it way back before] is nothing to cover up.

Even if we are in the midst of preparing various dishes for a food feast or fest, we could engage all the best chefs in town but the ground rule is that NOTHING as in NOTHING should be ROTTEN in the food preparation, not even in any of the ingredients.  Why> When The ROT goes undetected, the whole dish will go awry.

But you might retort that our lives CAN'T be compared to fruits because it's NOT an apples-to-apples thing.  Yes you're spot on there BUT.  Can't we dive into our own lives and take an honestly critical assessment, running a SANITY CHECK if somewhere from within there is ROT somewhere, something that may worsen and just spread out and worsen?

Sometimes, when we talk about ROT, we have to look, find and detect the UNSEEN, the ambiguous parts in our life.  It could be our CHARACTER [where you are ending up with more UNFRIENDING in FB than forging real and genuine friendships.  OR something may be rotting within your SELF-DISCIPLINE such that your own mess is going from bad to worse.

So do we fix that?  Let's borrow a page from the fundamentals in woodworks wherein before they finally do the 'REFINISHING' to gloss things over, from within and from deep inside the rotten wood, that gets fixed, patched and 'cured' before the finishing touches.  In our life, when that ROT runs DEEP, don't let it go from bad to worse.  FIX IT.  ASAP.  At the end of the day, you will be at the losing end unless your ROT from within gets fixed with finality📗📙📘

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades???  Indeed it is perplexing to say the least.  And just two weeks ago, I read that our global population hit 8 billion, whew. Isn't it strange how loneliness can still pervade across different strata of our society  so as to probably lead us to ask ourselves, how can you feel ALONE in the midst of throngs and endless crowds across the globe.

Of course, it is NOT that surprising because loneliness is entirely  a matter of one's mind and sometimes one's own feelings.  You can feel yourself ALONE IN A CROWD of millions of people and even with all the entertainments and social media in front of you, loneliness DOESN'T want to get ended.  However, being alone and feeling loneliness are completely different things. Loneliness is a complete state of mind, an EMPTY SPACE inside the mind.

It is normal to feel loneliness when a person stays alone, feels unloved whereas loners NEVER want to be alone as they want to talk to others, they want to connect with others but their mental state is at a point where they can't get along with others.  They then search for emotional bonds. In fact, he who endured the feeling of loneliness can understand that it is burning, that it's exactly pain Now what causes loneliness?  Studies show that generally there is no specific cause of loneliness  that can be explained because sometimes that feeling of loneliness can come with NO REASON.

Studies have also shown that sometimes, our mind wants to be busy ALL THE TIME till it adapts to a certain flow when our mind does NOT get relevant work and the flow of life is disrupted  especially when there are sudden abrupt changes in life, then loneliness is MORE LIKELY to occur.  Now, can loneliness be dangeours?  Hmmmm, loneliness has a negative-wide impact on our mental and physical health.  It robs our sleep, hunger first and from there the body and mind get weaker.  

Now, can we STOP loneliness?  Yesirrrs it can be done.  First, DIVERT your attention.  Consciously change your thoughts.  And when that FEAR of REJECTION creeps in, overcome it.  At the end of the day, loneliness is NOT as bad as you think.  A momentary feeling of loneliness creates a vacuum in your mind which can become enjoyable if you can instill in YOU an urge to fill it❗❗❗

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo

The first few times I heard Quid Pro Quo, I [wrongly] tagged it as part of the legal parlance.  Realizing that it is one of those 'REALITIES in LIFE, why DON'T we talk about it for today's piece.  Quid Pro Quo per se is good, legal and legitimate BUT here's the catch.  As long as there is GOOD FAITH and the intentions are morally and legally compliant.  Otherwise, it is ifffffy.

And while we can use this particular Latin Quid Pro Quo phrase anytime, when used in the workplace, it usually involves allegations hovering around harassment [and when it involves women, sexual harassment is not far fetched to happen].  But the tougher challenge is how the innocent protagonists can prove Quid Pro Quo as harassment?  Quite simple here.  When sexual favors get either expressed or implied, that discussion is threading really dangerous grounds.   And the pitiful scenario is when the offended party's reaction to such unwelcome advances would negatively impact pecuniary considerations.

A common question is:  are THREATS enough to prove Quid Pro Quo harassment?  Quite easy.  The person has to simply prove that his/her reaction to such offensive overtures negatively impacted his/her employment in some way.  So what's the fix?  Companies must create and maintain a written EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY.

Literally, Quid Pro Quo is akin to SOMETHING for SOMETHING.  But in reality, instead of the QUID you asked for, you end up with the QUO.  It sounds harmless enough but it could lead to problems.  Years back when Ukrainian President Zelensky picked up the phone to talk to then U.S. President Donald Trump, the latter insisted there was no pressure but Zelensky did ask for a favor.  There you go, Quid Pro Quo

Too bad the digital devices have not tweaked the keyboard with GIVE & TAKE because that exactly is the digital equivalent of Quid Pro Quo.  Generally though, people DON'T attach strings to the favors they do for family.  But the further people get outside, the more complicated the favor becomes, even between peers.  At times, people may not even realize their own expectations for reciprocity.  And it gets infinitely 'messier' when there's 'POWER DYNAMICS' at play.  So, where Quid Pro Quo is into play, always ask ourselves: "AM I REALLY GETTNG THE SOMETHING OF EQUAL VALUE OR AM I BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGED❓❓❓

Working Long Hours?

 Working Long Hours?

Working Long Hours?  Before I get [wrongly] bashed for inciting things in the wrong direction in the workplace, this is NOT the intention of today's piece.  Rather, we want to figure out HOW you can still achieve the same results and deliverables without sacrificing your health, your sleep and seriously, sometimes, even relationships and the immediate family gets impacted too.

But all over, we all know that SLEEP helps us to learn faster and even improve our memory.  Digging back a 2016 study titled Psychological Science, it says that people who studied before bed, then slept then did a quick review the next morning NOT only spent less time studying but they also increased their long-term retention by approximately 50%. But there's an arguably even better reason to get a good night's sleep especially in today's RAT RACE.

The old school of thought did teach us that practice makes perfect.  And repeating the same tasks will lead you to be an expert.  Agreed on most points.  But going back to the long hours we toil, what's or who's the culprit?  Then this brings us back full circle to the dilemma of people who are sleep-deprived.  And the results of studies are alarming.  Because you could end up with worse ideas.  Because you end up worse to distinguish good versus bad ideas.  And worst, you may tend to be impulsive.

Are we to seek refuge on all the STICKY NOTES plastered all around our devices? Indeed it is a scary scenario when we are sleep-deprived because the CREATIVITY part in us gets lost out in the equation.  That means, while some people could be a little more creative than you, a rested and recharged YOU is a whole lot more creative than a sleep-deprived YOU. 

Creativity aside, getting enough sleep also makes you more productive.  Studies have shown that people who sleep for five to six hours are 19 percent LESS productive than people who regularly sleep for seven to eight hours night-on-night.  Those hard core 'sleep warriors' who get less than five hours a night MAYBE BUSY DOING LESS.  Won't you now dread Working Long Hours✅✅✅

Put Up With It

 Put Up With It

Oh, have you ever in that situation aboard your flight and here you are, fastened with your seatbelt but so squeezed by that passenger next to you?  Is that a problem?  Of course NOT.  But for that triviality, how would you handle that?  Simple. PUT UP WITH IT?.  Eventually when that airplane you're onboard finally lands, you can finally heave a deep sigh of relief.  But we won't waste our time on that.

This example may be more interesting though.  For us who have committed to our partners/spouses, definitely that 'compatibility thing is nothing more than BALONEY.  No such thing as a perfect couple.  You could be a gadget warrior but your spouse prefers to finish up at least two full movies in NETFLIX.  Or you prefer to spend the upcoming weekend in a restful way but your better-half prefers to go out of town, for some whiff of fresh air.  But how often do you need to  PUT UP WITH IT?  How often do you need to re-adjust and recalibrate?

Or you could be staying in a place where you DON'T have control of the occupants, people you DON'T know even from Adam and Eve. But do you know there are more sensible things to PUT UP WITH IT? Just as when you're enduring GRIEF and yet you can't figure out how it can CO-EXIST with JOY?  BTW, positive and negative emotions DON'T cancel each other out and you DON'T have to be done with pain to make peace for joy.

In fact, life's HARDEST MOMENTS can bring moments of such overwhelming pain that it may become hard to imagine feeling okay again.  Yet, a few hours later, you may find yourself laughing or perhaps even while tears stream down your face.  When and where HEALING is needed, it happens when we're realistic about how long our struggles may take.  

So how?  First off, give yourself PERMISSION to feel joy.  During HARD TIMES, we may turn away from moments of JOY.  You might notice yourself doing it that way because FEELING HAPPY makes you feel bad about 'moving on' from something or someone important.  OR you may be FEELING GOOD while others are still struggling and that may you feel guilty. These types of thoughts and feelings are indeed common but not especially fair, right?  Having MOMENTS of JOY doesn't invalidate the depth of your pain or mean you less care less. Thing is, many things in life are there for us to accept and PUT UP WITH IT📗📘📙