That 'ART OF DETACHMENT'

 

Is the ART OF DETACHMENT really an art?  Me thinks it is NOT really an art per se BUT it is essentially that practice of LETTING GO.  LETTING GO of WHAT?  Name it, bad habits, unhealthy people, mindsets, insecurities, and even perceptions that tend to sway us towards anxiety instead of optimism.  In the simplest terms, DETACHMENT means me and you should NOT try to change OR blame another BUT instead make the most and best of myself📘📙📗

Nope nope nope, me and you need NOT DETACH ourselves from our emotions, empathy OR vulnerability to live a better life BUT find ways to let go in other areas, setting boundaries to protect our emotional health and removing ourselves from relationships that are NOT deemed beneficial [and more importantly, mutual].  Experts counsel us that the recognized powerful ways to have a good grasp of that ART of DETACHMENT for us to live an unbothered life will help us to connect with our own selves as our narrative of our future [rather being at the backburner]💜💛💚

Verily true, life requires so much from us and if there's a first person to blame, that's our very own selves BUT naturally, we get pulled in, right?  We tend to react [even WHEN it was least warranted].  We would worry [WHEN the question is WHY worry] and we get tempted to control as many things as possible BUT the trap here is that the more we try, the more we fail and eventually the more we lose❎❎❎

The noted Indian philosopher Osho was widely quoted:  DO WHATEVER IS NEEDFUL AND YET REMAIN TRANSCENDENTAL, ALOOF, DETACHED just like a lotus flower in the pond.  To translate this in layman's terms, let us do WHAT we must do BUT let us NOT get lost in it.  Osho goes to expound that to be a lotus, it grows in the mud.  It DOESN'T escape the pond BUT it rises above the water.  And WHAT a surprise to me, Osho says that that lotus flower stays clean even in dirty water.  BUT hold on to your guns because there's more to it.  Its petals repel dirt as water tends to roll off, thus leaving it spotless.  Oh yes, sometimes we do get caught in life's drama [even unnecessary ones]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  There are just one too many harsh realities in life WHICH we need to grapple with.  You do your work and it becomes your job.  You love someone and their moods control your response to life.  You try, you fail, and then you become a failure.  You succeed and then, you become afraid to lose it.  In the end, we tend to attach to everything, name it, success, people, and even our own thoughts.  YES oh YES, WHEN a 'bad day' hits us, that ruins us.  WHEN we get rejected, it feels LIKE the end-of-the-world, LIKE death.  WHY?  Because philosophers analyzed that it's all because we kind of 'hand over' our own peace to all those stuff we just CAN'T control.  Without mastering that ART of DETACHMENT, it behooves that we remediate and rectify our own shortfalls in life.  Let us NOT look the other way around WHEN the ART of DETACHMENT may even move the needle in our life😃😃😃

Are You Ruling Stress [OR Is It The Other Way Around]

 

Is STRESS our enemy, our nemesis?  Sort of.  And allow me to give a qualified answer.  If you're having a good handle of STRESS, then STRESS is on your side.  BUT IF STRESS is hovering all over you, then, we have a ballgame and that ballgame may run roughshod on you, on us.  The worst misconception about STRESS is that it is the consequence arising from either a problem OR a brewing problem.  BUT in real life, such is NOT the case📗📙📘

A case in point.  If you're jobhunting and you were shortlisted as one of the three final candidates and the next round will need you to host a presentation to senior executives with regard a common agenda set for all the three candidates.  Question is, as you prepare yourself for that presentation, do you consider it as a STRESS OR a challenge?  To quote the 19th century American philosopher William Jones, if you think of it as STRESSFUL, then it undoubtedly will be💥💥💥

Now, with regard jobhunting, generally, those job opportunities do NOT come around every day, NOT even if it's a handyman's job BUT opportunities to feel STRESS do.  There are the daily pressures of daily life itself, those chronic traffic gridlocks you need to endure every time you drive in the metro area OR you're staring at a work deadline that is simply impossible to achieve OR if you have a child with a running fever, WHEN you are lost or confused HOW to prioritize your child without missing out on your work deliverables for that day❎❎❎

And YES, if those stressful samplings are NOT enough, there are much bigger pressures that will lead to more stressful situations.  LIKE marital conflicts, the loss of a job, the demise of a family member OR a close friend and from time to time, we do get caught in a major traumatic event over WHICH we simply DON'T have any contro, such as cyclones, floods, volcanoe eruptions, name it.  Again to cling back to William Jones' sage advice...

ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS THE FIRST STEP TO OVERCOMING THE CONSEQUENCES OF MISFORTUNE.  Call it force majeure.  YES, unfortunately, contemporary life is jam packed with STRESS.  YES, we are warned to cut back on the STRESS in our lives OR face the consequences.  Too bad, STRESS is usually thought of as an enemy BUT frankly, any event, even positive ones [like hosting a party] can be STRESSFUL.  Our takeaway:  MINDSET IS THE KEY.  That will dictate your fate in the midst of STRESS😗😗😗

Life Is A Game Of 'HUMAN ERROR'

Life Is A Game Of 'HUMAN ERROR' BUT WHY?  The common initial reaction is to find and blame  the error on someone.  However, even apparently single events OR errors are due most often to the convergence of multiple contributing factors.  Blaming an individual does NOT change these factors and the same error is likely to recur.  Preventing errors and improving our proactiveness would generally require an approach to modify the conditions that could be contributory or at least causing us with those human errors📘📙📗

The mother of all ironies in life is that errors leading to accidents would easily grab people's attention in no time at all.  The Three Mile Island and The Challenger accidents were right on the breaking news headlines much faster than the speed of sound.  From a psychology perspective, experts tell us that failures caused by errors are preventable BUT from a human standpoint, we often tend to create OR cause mistakes, slips, lapses and even breaches all within the purview of WHAT is always dubbed as 'HUMAN ERROR'💜💛💚

BUT the challenge here is that given the multiplicity of HUMAN ERRORS, experts advise that they require very different approaches if ever we're still nursing hopes to preempt OR avoid HUMAN ERRORS.  BUT there are two schools of thought that are poles apart.  One end tells us that HUMAN ERRORS are the end of it, period.  BUT the growing numbers at the other end tell us that HUMAN ERRORS should be the very start of intentional investigations no less.  BUT deep diving farther, we'll be more surprised💥💥💥

Finding the 'smoking gun' or the very root cause of HUMAN ERROR should be more than just be as another obsession.  Instead, if we'll take the recent tragic Air India crash as an example, the default assumption is that all systems were indeed functioning correctly and arguably, if the whole aircraft can be brought down completely by a single HUMAN ERROR, this is indicative of a much bigger problem with the system itself💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Taking a few steps backward to have a more meaningful and holistic view of things, I take it that generally, HUMAN ERROR as a cause of some incidents is a probable manifestation of that belief that a system may have been designed as perfect enough and therefore, that leads us to the indisputable likelihood that the underlying root cause is a HUMAN ERROR.  The constant challenge for us is to figure out HOW HUMAN ERRORS can be remediated in such a way that risks of HUMAN ERROR can be best mitigated from hitting us again.  YES indeed, LIFE IS A GAME OF 'HUMAN ERROR'😡😡😡

The Depth & Breadth of Lessons from Steve Jobs

 

If we persist to piggy-back on the the DEPTH and BREADTH OF LESSONS FROM STEVE JOBS, it could take us tons and tons of voluminous stacks of narratives.  BUT as we DON'T have that bandwidth, allow me to quote him for the last time his last words on his deathbed:  I HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF SUCCESS IN BUSINESS.  IN THE EYES OF OTHERS, MY LIFE IS THE EPITOME OF SUCCESS.  HOWEVER, APART FROM WORK, I HAVE LITTLE JOY.  IN THE END, WEALTH IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE TO WHICH I AM ACCUSTOMED💚💛💜

Indeed, we all agree that the last words coming from someone on deathbed are the most credible words to hear.  And if it happens that those words are LIFE LESSONS coming from STEVE JOBS, those words should resonate and reverberate across.  In fact, even with a fraction of time, allow me to dissect and hit the nail on its very head by picking up the very core lessons here from STEVE JOBS💚💛💜

In the simplest words, without parsing his words, allow me to highlight here the fact that was just implied by STEVE JOBS.  THAT IS, NO AMOUNT OF SUCCESS AT WORK OR IN BUSINESS CAN COMPENSATE FOR FAILURE IN ONE'S PERSONAL LIFE.  And without digging into the private life of STEVE JOBS, one telling truth here is that, along the way, his health was one of the COLLATERAL DAMAGEs that could have ironically worsened , all because of his successes in his professional life😔😔😔

Nope, NO sirrrrs, I WON'T get into discussing EN TOTO these 21 LIFE LESSONS from STEVE JOBS because this can take us quite some time to wrap up.  In the shortest words, much as we need to earn monies to fill up our rice bowl and lead a life we deserve, doing so at the expense of one's personal life [spelled H-E-A-L-T-H] is the worst irony ever😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  We can turn back and flip 180-degrees all life lessons BUT everything boils down to the fact that at the very core of our personal priorities is NOTHING but a 6-letter word spelled H-E-A-L-T-H, period.  NOT to belittle wealth, for WHATEVER it's worth, wealth is the best thing in life IF and WHEN we are assured that we WON'T get hit in the future with issues relate to HEALTH.  BUT knock on wood, no Superman can give us that blanket immunity to ensure our HEALTH WON'T suffer a hit in the future.  Our lesson?  Let us RESET our priorities with our HEALTH at its very core dude!!!

It's The NEW YEAR! Rip Off That Band-aid Strip!

 

Heard this tete-a-tete in a gathering of close friends.  YOU'RE A VEGAN, AGAIN?  DIDN'T YOU ALREADY TRY THAT?  WHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT NORMALLY, EVERYTHING IN MODERATION?Our common and recurring issue?  BAND-AID strips are our most favorite QUICK FIX formula until that QUICK FIX is left as such, defaulting as the final fix.  Seriously?  To be honest, I was guilty of that too in the past BUT I thought being indecisive is NOT part of the final fix after all😡😡😡

WHEN a new year [it could either be a calendar OR financial year] kicks in for a giant organization, it's normal to expect reorganizations OR restructurings, as the SLT [senior leadership teams] never sleep on their laurels BUT instead, they keep moving the goal posts, with revenue and EBIT [Earnings Before Income Tax] targets are pushed up and expectedly, for everyone to toe the line.  WHY do they do that?  Precisely because they RIP OFF that band-aid strip[because that was a QUICK FIX, probably]💥💥💥

Drawing the parallelism to our daily lives, many things WHICH appear to be acceptable QUICK FIXES today would have outlived its effectiveness.  YES, yesterday's FAD might have been that useful at that point in time and only for a period of time.  And that might be just fine [then].  BUT for something to be a great success, it DOESN'T have to last forever.  And that's the disconnect some of us are guilty of [YES, I was guilty of it a zillion times before]❎❎❎

So, WHAT's our challenge at hand?  It is NOT thinking of any solution as a CURE-ALL in the first place.  Because WHEN we think of something as a panacea, we tend to ignore the weaknesses and negative side effects.  And then, eventually, WHEN the inevitable flaws are exposed, we tend to lose faith in that solution completely. sometimes leading us to discount any value it provided us then. Sounds familiar???

Our takeaway:  The mother of all ironies is that WHEN a QUICK FIX we applied before looses its luster [OR effectiveness], we eventually lose faith in that QUICK FIX WHICH was the best solution then.  BUT then situations change, people change, circumstances change.  And let us NOT forget WHEN WHAT we applied then was a QUICK FIX, a stop-gap countermeasure.  YES YES yowww, it's the NEW YEAR.  RIP OFF THAT BAND-AID STRIP!!!

Our Life-long 'MERRY-GO-ROUND' Rides!

 

Can I make one small request for now:  That our last thread for this 2025 should be lighter and less serious please?  On that note, allow me to share EN TOTO the Quora.com post by Richard Strachan:  My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.  As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."  To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.  Tray-up, Bitch."💚💛💜

A small lesson here:  You can be the head of family in your household OR the CEO of your organization BUT out there, we have a level playing field.  We are all and will remain EQUALs in life.  No favorites.  No handicaps. Regardless as to WHERE we are in our social strata, that DOESN'T matter at all because WHAT matters most and WHAT sets each of us apart is HOW do we steer our lives, HOW do we navigate through the travails and turmoils, HOW do we keep [at the very least] our head above the waters and HOW we remain resilient everytime we end up off-track❌❌❌

YES dude, from another dimension, our LIFE remains akin to the circle.  NO matter WHAT beast you make of yourself OR HOW bright one side is, inevitablythe dark side comes again.  BUT the beauty of the circle is, ROUND WE GO.  Comparing ourselves to the golfers WHO get drenched by the scorching heat of the sun out in the golf course, we are all AT PAR, NO handicaps, NO deprivations, NO differentiations.  And YES, our life is a merry-go-round no less!  Enjoy the ride and get off as you please.  Out there in those merry-go-round amusement parks, we really DON'T understand human nature UNLESS and UNTIL you know WHY a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around and WHY his parents will always wave back.   Those subtle realities in life😌😌😌

YES, those merry-go-round rides, I really loved it despite sometimes those spins made me nauseous and the somewhat 'bumpy' ride left me with a headache.  BUT there was always something magical about those roundabouts that seem to have given me [ALWAYS] that free reign to the imagination.  In retrospect, one could say they conjure up images that extend way beyond the playful to other realities in life.  The bright lights of life welcome us  to the playground of life and takes us to that spin over and over again.  YES, sometimes the spin is bumpy and at other times, smooth enough and as a bonus, it feels like the ride is filled with music.  And YES, we can react in a happy, sad, angry OR fearful manner BUT no matter our reaction, the ride, like life, continues until it's time to get off😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  To sound poetic, if I had my life to live over, I would probably start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.  And if I were a girl, I'll probably go for more dances and YES, I'd love to ride more merry-go-rounds and pick daisies randomly.  And going back to our shared Quora.com story about that flight attendant, I'll probably be more circumspect and tactful, without assuming that when I'm airborne, I'm the in-flight queen!@#$%^ HAPPY NEW YEAR folks💥💥💥

Hope Springs Eternal

 

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.  Oooops, another boring cliche, if you may blurt out.  BUT with NEW YEAR 2026 just around the corner, it behooves that we reinvigor the genuine meaning of HOPE.  With 2026 looming within the coming 48 hours, it is plainly obvious WHY these coming days could lead us to be more convinced [more than ever] that with HOPE comes new beginnings to almost everyone of us.  For those WHO seem hesitant to embrace the coming NEW YEAR, it's perfectly fine because it's everyone's prerogative💜💛💚

As SPRING follows closely the very heels of HOPE, it is easy to see WHY these coming days would likely lead us to HOPE.  As the word SPRING says it all, it can mean to come forth with energy.  This reminds me of the NETFLIX movie HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL WHEN a teen with terminal cancer miraculously finds herself in remission.  HOPE of course is the belief one holds WHEN going through difficult circumstances, sometimes HOPING against HOPE that things will simply get better.  YES, it is unique to our species because it requires words and thoughts to contemplate possible future events.  YES, through the years, there are countless moments WHEN everyone of us will be clutching the last straws of HOPE✅✅✅

I've known first hand people WHO were raised in destitute circumstances and yet, they never lost HOPE and that enabled them to withstand and at times overcome those humps on the road, grow as a person and at times, be the last man standing.  WHICH reminds me of physicians, WHEN handling patients with critical illness, without being deceptive, they would present encouraging possiblities even WHEN breaking a seemingly BAD NEWS to the patient💥💥💥

By its very nature, HOPE is always equated to optimism.  IF you are a chronic and perennial pessimist, that is pitiful IF NOT despicable because that can devoid and deprive one to find even the least glimmer of HOPE in the midst of those cloudy and sometimes stormy weather in life.  BUT let's be fair here.  The presence of HOPE is secular and universal and serves as a personal beacon muck akin to a lighthouse beckoning us during those periods of darkness that worsens WHEN stormy weather hits us all❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT sugarcoat here.  HOPE by itself provides us a haven from pessimism and fear.  More importantly, HOPE galvanizes our courage and mobilizes our energy and vitality.  YES, I can attest to it.  WHEN I had to weather the worst storms in my life from the distant past, HOPE did enhance my mood and even creative thinking.  Think about it, IF you're down in the pits and your mood is worst than worse, HOW in the world can you think clearly?  And by thinking clearly, that should pave the way for you to come up with informed decisions.  BIG thanks because HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.  Hoping the coming NEW YEAR will lead you and your loved ones to reap the FRUITS of MORE BLESSINGS you each deserve😗😗😗

SCAMS Statistics Remain Unabated!

 

Even as we are all caught up in the midst of all these frenzied activities as part of our 2025 year-ender, it is understandable if some of us are focused OR getting lured for opportunities to work overseas, e.g. in Singapore, Dubai, etc.  BUT alas, these are those times WHEN the predators are lurking around for potential preys, and YES, figuring out those determined ones innocently scouring the job market😡😡😡

And NOT surprisingly, from the latest statistics, a plurality @43% of scams have targeted adults, YES adults and NOT teens.  WHY?  Because almost all adults are the responsible ones earnestly looking for job OR business opportunities.  And NOT to douse cold water on the most optimistic job seekers, in the Asia Pacific [APAC] Region, Singapore is the #1 country where job scammers have been operating, albeit incognito💧💧💧

The mother of all ironies is that despite the very high awareness & vigilance of Singaporeans with regard scams, latest statistics show that 96% of Singaporeans are worried about financial security and economic uncertainty, fueling that surge in SCAMS as consumers take greater risks online💥💥💥

Connecting the dots, data-driven statistics show that nearly 8 out of 10 Singaporeans are actively seeking promotions and discounts due to the prevailing higher consumer prices.  This makes them PRIME TARGETS for SCAMMERS WHO would lure them no end with fraudulent discounts a.k.a. vouchers.  Latest researches show the relationship between financial security and prevalent SCAM tactics in any country and market.  Experts claim that emotions are powerful psychological tactic that SCAMMERS often capitalize on❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  As numbers DON'T lie, allow me to share the latest SCAM statistics [with NO intention to scare our readership]: For those affected by JOB SCAMS [in Singapore], 40% discovered it only after losing a significant amount of monies.  As a year-ender challenge, can we mount a COUNTER-OFFENSIVE to these scammers by improving our VIGILANCE in the light of these unabated SCAMS😡😡😡

FLIPPING A COIN for Decisions?

 

FLIPPING A COIN for decisions?  Better NOT, dude!!! And IF it's NOT FLIPPING COINS, some even would initiate KAMPAIs out of sheer braggadocio.  BUT that keeps my head spinning endlessly because I CAN'T see either the head OR tail of any decision-making that hinges on simply FLIPPING A COIN.  Of course, in many cases, people DON'T literally FLIP A COIN but instead, WHEN something is up there hanging in the air, they will simply shrug off their should and would then manifest their [default] surrender to WHATEVER IT IS📗📙📘

The mother of ironies is that many researches through the years show that we humans are vulnerable to FLIPPING COIN because it tends to make us happier, that circumstance of giving it over to chance.  Ever heard of that age-old saying: "WINNERS NEVER QUIT AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN"?  YES, pithy statements like that stick around because they seem to sound 'ABOUT RIGHT'.  And WHEN we decide on something, it is with the intention that this action will maximize our expected utility.  In the shortest words, we're going to get something good out of it.  So, IF we quit, we'll be worse off❎❎❎

Admittedly, life is rarely that straightforward.  Problem is, at times, we tend to over-simply situations that are complex enough.  Still, changing courses is really daunting.  And the more consequential the decision becomes especially if it's a needle mover OR even a game-changer OR even a life-changing one.  And YES, many of us are NO strangers to a never-ending list of PROs and CONs.  And one way out of this is FLIPPING A COIN?  Researches show that the impact of a COIN toss on major life decisions find that those WHO made change from their current status quo] based on the toss's advice were more satisfied with their decision 6 months later and overall happier than those WHO did NOT change course.  BUT if change will make us happier, WHY FLIP COIN???

Psychologists then did dig dipper here and they concluded that our 'self preservation' instinct makes us abundantly cautious WHEN venturing into the unknown.  We're always in that 'evidence collection' mode.  And WHEN we're somewhere at the margins and boundary between two options, something as subtle as a TOSS COIN can be enough to sway us in one common direction BUT that's NOT the case though💧💧💧

And the experts coined this as the power of "RANDOM DECISION AIDS' and according to science, it works?  SO HOW?  Firstly, COIN FLIPPING saves us and does extricate us OUT OF PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS mode.  We then delay making important decisions because we feel data are deficient, that we CAN'T make an informed decision.  WHAT IF there's more illuminating information right around the corner, if we just wait a little longer?  YES, flipping a COIN OR ROLLING A DICE do bypass that perceived need for more information by giving us a somewhat clear-cut direction to make a decision.  So, are you FLIPPING A COIN for your next decision😡😡😡

Yes, Comparison Matters BUT.....

 

YES, comparison matters BUT the big and huge MISS is that the comparison is being done wrongly because what boils down is that those comparisons should be baselined to our own selves.  HOW were we yesterday.  HOW will we be today.  And HOW will we be by tomorrow?  BUT the thing is, human evolution has indeed left us with the need for social validation.  We humans tend to seek improving our status, WHICH is well reflected in our ego, reputation and even our place in the hierarchy.  Apparently, today's world amplifies that COMPARISON.  Social media and all kinds of metrics drag us into COMPARISONs📗📙📘

BUT WHAT happened to our internal comparisons?  Wanting to surpass others and be validated can motivate us to achieve greater things, reaching greater heights BUT problems arise WHEN we sacrifice our values just to outdo others.  And WHEN we prioritize the external over the internal, psychologists claim that at that point, we tend to lose the very essence and instead end up handing over control of our life to others [which is pitifully ironical].  BUT in reality, the greatest satisfaction WON'T come from outperforming our neighbor, our friend, our colleague BUT it is from outperforming our very own selves💧💧💧

Here's a very basic question to us all.  WHO defines our own success?  WHO lays down the parameters and metrices to measure WHETHER we're successful OR not?  WOULD we rather be the best person in the world BUT everyone think you're the worst?  OR will be rather that worst person BUT everyone thinks we're the best?  Billionaire investor Warren Buffett was well quoted WHEN he said:  IF YOU LIVE BY EXTERNAL COMPARISON, YOUR AMBITIONS WILL BE SOCIETY's.  IF YOU LIVE BY INTERNAL COMPARISON, YOU DECIDE WHAT SUCCESS MEANS [and NOT OTHERS]💥💥💥

Instead, Warren Buffett advises us to reorient our lives toward internal comparison.  That way, success WON'T depend on WHAT others think.  NOR will it change with trends.  NOR can it be bought with tons and tons of LIKES from your social media followers.  And WHEN we live based on internal comparison, our only 'mission' then is to be a better person today than yesterday and look forward to be better tomorrow than today!!!

Our takeaway:  One solid complement to Warren Buffett runs this way:  One of the defining characteristics of Buffett is that he lives by his OWN SCORECARD.  It's NOT just that he does the right thing BUT that he does WHAT is right for him.  Swinging back to our own lives, it should NOT be that huge of an ASK that we should stop comparing ourselves to others BUT instead, let's set the bar and raise the bar based on HOW we performed yesterday versus HOW we perform today versus HOW we will fare come next day?  Raise the bar, you can, but your thresholds should be baselined from your last performance.  NOT bad to tighten things if WHAT matters most is our own self-improvement💚💛💜