We Arrive With NOTHING, Leave With NOTHING!

 

Elon Musk.  Mark Zuckerberg.  Jeff Bezos.  Larry Ellison.  Larry Page.  Warren Buffett.  WHAT commonality do they share?  Quite a lot, honestly.  LIKE they are proven business moguls.  LIKE they seem NOT to sleep at all, lurking around for opportunities to continue expanding their business empires and 'war chest'.   BUT can someone guess WHAT is their very the first commonality they share?  You're spot on, dude.  As babies, they were born with literally NOTHING.  BTW, their commonalities DON'T end there because while WE ARRIVE WITH NOTHING, we'll LEAVE WITH NOTHING💚💛💜

Apple's founder, the well revered late Steve Jobs had very deep-seated words at death bed, realizing HOW meaningless all the troves of wealth a person can amass, accepting HOW it becomes a total exercise in futility WHEN at some point in life WHEN we will call it quits, you and me CAN'T 'bring over' anything and everything we did have in life.  So, let's NOT spend so much time on that because that's a given that's way beyond any doubt or worth to debate on💥💥💥

Allow me to tie-up our thread today to those WHO may be struggling these days.  As much as most of our struggles are all valid and legitimate, let us NOT loose sight of the fact that those challenges shall 'pass through' and before we know it, we may end up unsure HOW one challenge after another managed to slip pass us.  Fact of the matter is that our struggles do impact us, that's NOT debatable.  BUT sometimes the huge miss here is that we tend to inflate the challenges at hand, more often unconsciously.  True, WHEN we having NOTHING LEFT, it's more than just a bad day.  Surely, each of us have been through those 'down-down' times WHEN we were suffering so damn bad, leading us to contemplate giving up just so the pain stops.  Bills piling up.  OR no one is hiring you.  OR you just went through a bad breakup.  WHEN you seemed to have tried everything BUT NOTHING WORKS!@#$%?  Then, we felt crushed, overwhelmed and pushed to the cliff's edge!@#$%?

YES, maybe in our everyday life, a grape is just a grape until it is fermented into wine.  Just as an olive is just an olive until the oil is pressed out of it.  YES, it's inevitable either sometime in our past OR, knock on wood, one day in the future, WHEN we would feel we CAN'T live through things.  BUT alas, as this old one-liner goes, despite the gloominess of the horizons, sometimes there is light at the end of the tunnel [and it's NOT an onrushing train].  Seriously, much as no one size fits all, problems need to be understand with clarity and then listing down our options for both the 'QUICK FIX'  and the 'FINAL FIX' are a must-do way because these are inputs for us to reach an informed decision.  BTW, before we get mixed up, informed decisions DON'T guarantee things NOT to go awry😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Much as challenges hit us left and right over and over again, one thing I learned here is developing and harnessing one's FORTITUDE.  True, FORTITUDE is easier said than done BUT embedding it deep within us will go a long way in lessening, if NOT altogether obliterating, all those humps and stumbling blocks.  WHAT matters most is that much as we ARRIVE WITH NOTHING and LEAVE WITH NOTHING, between our ETA and ETD, there's a high gaping hole that offers us tons and tons of opportunities for our own taking. It boils down upon us to leverage things while the sun remains dandy and shining because eventually, that NOTHINGNESS will still be as much us!!!

Can We Leverage Our 'PREFRONTAL CORTEX'?

 

Earlier today, I was listening to Doc Alvin, one of the more popular doctors on social media and whose thread today veered towards the correlation between our brain's REWARDS SYSTEM and our less popular PREFRONTAL CORTEX.  Right after watching him, I quickly 'googled' to differentiate our REWARDS SYSTEM versus our PREFRONTAL CORTEX, which all the while, I [wrongly] thought there is NO need to differentiate it at all👽👻👿

Frankly, WHAT is right versus WHAT is wrong goes way beyond just the legalese train of thought.  And this is HOW many of us do get caught up.  Just as things seem legal, more often than NOT, we are inclined to believe that by default, those 'seemingly legal' act OR deed aligns with moral and ethical principles as well.  So, WHAT's inherently wrong, even if they are common in a particular group OR society, it may NOT be aligned with morals and ethics💚💛💜

WHICH brings me to the indemic 'CORRUPTION' issue engulfing many countries, be it in Eastern Europe, Middle East OR Asia.  BUT as I consider it 'sub judice' to openly discuss things as in some countries, these CORRUPTION cases are now going through the legalese grinders, this just brings me back to the question WHICH I myself I CAN'T answer now:  HOW and WHY have we NOT leverage enough our brain's PREFRONTAL CORTEX???

To align with medical jargons, they tell us that our brain's REWARDS SYSTEM is a network of regions and pathways that drives HOW we feel pleasure, form habits and motivate behavior.  And it works by releasing those chemicals a.k.a. DOPAMINE, in response to rewarding activities, WHETHER it's eating, socializing OR even simply achieving a goal and that mechanism reinforces our behaviors that are beneficial by making us FEEL GOOD WHEN we do them✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Without getting bogged down with all the medical jargons, WHAT still befuddles ME as to WHY some of us easily succumb to the endless allure of our REWARDS SYSTEM?  BUT the huge miss for us is leveraging on the functions of our PREFRONTAL CORTEX as it should redirect us to WHAT is morally and ethically upright.  NOW, this tends me to be idealistic WHEN I realize NOW that it's NOT a BIG ASK for us to still run a tight ship WHILE running that balancing act between our REWARDS SYSTEM and the PREFRONTAL CORTEX😋😋😋

Carpe Diem

 

CARPE DIEM.  HOW many times have we heard that Latin aphorism?  You may have heard this story about a young fisherman who was enjoying himself on the bank of a beautiful river when a stressed-out businessman came along.  Stopping in front of the fisherman, the businessman said, ”You aren’t going to catch many fish with that single rod. You’re young. If you worked instead, you could make money, buy many nets and catch more fish.”  “And what would I get out of that?”, asked the fisherman💚💛💜

“With more money, you could buy a boat and catch even more fish!”  “And what would I get out of that?”, the fisherman replied.  The businessman became agitated: “You could buy more boats, hire many people to work for you!”  "And what would I get out of that?” repeated the fisherman.  Now, the businessman was very irritated. ‘Don’t you see? You could build up a whole fleet of fishing boats, have them sail all over the world, and have hundreds of employees catching fish for you!’  Once again, the fisherman asked, “And what would I get out of that?”  The businessman shouted: “You could become so rich that you would never have to work for a living again! You could spend the rest of your days sitting here, without a care in the world!”  The fisherman then smiled and said, “Isn’t this exactly what I am doing right now?”😍😍😍

NOW, if I may speculate, that fisherman must have been familiar with the concept of CARPE DIEM, that Latin phrase WHICH means SEIZE THE DAY.    What CARPE DIEM suggests is that we should focus on WHAT's happening right now.  Savor the uniqueness and value of every moment in life, mindful of the fact that time flies and life is short.  In fact, CARPE DIEM is very much related to another Latin phrase MEMENTO MORI which means "REMEMBER THAT YOU WILL DIE'!!!

Unfortunately, CARPE DIEM means different things to different people.  For some, it is all about enjoying a quite life OR taking advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  WHAT CARPE DIEM shouldn't be confused with it is hedonism, that belief that earthly pleasures are WHAT matters most in life.  CARPE DIEM represents much more than that though.  While the motto uses the present as a tool for the future, hedonists DON'T care WHAT the future holds.  After all, they will be dead, and by then, it will be too late to have fun, if at all💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  My realization is that it is imperative NOT to equate CARPE DIEM with fatalism, the belief that all events are predetermined.  YES, I'm referring to people WHO hardly ever think about the future, resigned as they are that they are unable to influence it.  Sadly, fatalists live a day-by-day existence NOT because they seek pleasure BUT because they leave the future to fate.  YES, sadly, some people continue to live in the past.  You could even say that they're stuck in it as they keep brooding over WHAT happened.  All along, others spend a great part of their lives dreaming about the future and WHAT may happen.  They keep constructing questionable 'scripts' of the future.  So, can we embrace CARPE DIEM after all, dude😊😊😊

That POWER of TINY GAINS!

That POWER of TINY GAINS can never be under-estimated, from WHICHEVER perspective one may want to look at it [OR EVEN IF one refuses to look at it].  WHETHER it is at your home OR over at the workplace, the best way to motivate folks will more often cut across the power of SMALL GAINs that would eventually be compounding to become BIG WINs.  Problem is, for many of us [and I was one of the guilty ones in the past] all want BIG WINs📗📙📘

WHEN I would go malling or even just window-shopping, I am disheartened [if NOT appalled] to interact with customer-facing sales people with sort of 'weak batteries' OR witnessing manifestations that they seem to be ill BUT are left with NO choice BUT to report for work.  BUT as I DON'T have the legitimate reason to be nosy, I simply commiserate with them💚💛💜

Through the years, I always fervently believed that nothing contributed more to motivating people than seeing them achieve progress in meaningful work, even if such progress are like 'baby-like' steps.  Because if a person is motivated and happy at the end of the workday, it could be as safe bet that he OR she did achieve something, however small.  On the other hand, if a person drags out of the workplace disengaged and joyless, a setback is likely to blame there💧💧💧

That progress principle would suggests that we could exert more influence than people may see it as imminently coming and WHAT better way to motivate with RECOGNITION [and sometimes REWARDS] being manifested. BUT be cautioned with regard REWARDS because generally, those 'feel good' feelings will be very fleeting and WON'T last for long.  WHICH means, WHEN we recognize someone, it has to be discerned as sincere enough else it might boomerang back to you, ouch💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Much as we are pitching for those TINY GAINS, let us be conscious and aware that minor setbacks or those small losses can sometimes create a negative effect on us.  BUT to fix is NOT akin to like curing cancer BUT instead, that person himself must make himself accountable to arrest that skid before it goes south and deeper down south.  The actions that will set things in motion is more important during those oblivious times of slip-ups, of flip-outs, of slidings.  Frankly, if you ask me WHY ,many of us have NOT realized OR achieved many more SMALL GAINS in life, sadly, it's because of our propensity to go for the BIG KILL, the BIG WIN.  WHAT's wrong with the bread crumbs dude if that will save us from getting hungry!@#$%?

Control Your Anger [Before It Controls You]

ANGER thread today, anyone?  Let's GO.  This is a 'HOT' topic especially with the simmering heat of summer in the tropical zone. And to add to that, we'll here those record-breaking traffic gridlocks in Asia's mega-cities like Mumbai, Jakarta, Manila, amongst others.  SO, is it true that IF YOU DON'T CONTROL ANGER, it can CONTROL YOU [eventually].  YES, I strongly believe this hypothesis and I'll welcome healthy arguments, if any📘📙📗

We all know WHAT anger is, and we've all felt it.  WHETHER as a fleeting annoyance OR as a full-fledged rage, ANGER is NOT just a nuisance for us to handle.  BUT before it gets negatively tagged, let's agree that ANGER itself is a completely normal and usually healthy human emotion.  BUT WHAT kind of raises alarms and increases the decibel volumes is WHEN it get's OUT OF CONTROL and turns destructive💥💥💥

ANGER can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.  WHAT makes matters worse here is that ANGER can be caused by either external OR internal triggers.  You could be angry at a specific person OR it could an external trigger like those perennial monstrous traffic that's NOT just about the huge wastage of burned fuel OR your ANGER could be caused by worrying OR brooding about your personal problems OR even traces and memories of past traumatic OR even enraging events that can trigger ANGER❌❌❌

Something triggering our ANGER is one thing BUT it's a totally different thing the way we express ANGER itself.  The instinctive and natural way to express ANGER is to respond aggressively.  ANGER is a natural and adaptive response to even threats as it tends to inspire powerful and often aggressive feelings and behaviors WHICH would allow us to fight and to defend ourselves WHEN are either threatened OR attacked.  On that note, it should safe to have a consensus that a certain amount of ANGER is indeed necessary for survival💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  People can use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their ANGRY feelings.  And even in recent researches, EXPRESSING, SUPPRESSING and CALMING will come our way, like it OR not.  YES, expressinve our ANGER in an assertive [BUT NOT aggressive] manner is the healthiest way to express ANGER. WHICH means, to do that, we have to learn HOW to make clear WHAT our needs are, and HOW to get them met without hurting OR offending people.  Being assertive DOESN'T mean being pushy OR demanding.  it means being respectful of yourself and even others.  YES dude, ANGER can be suppressed and then, as per psychologists, we can 'redirect' it LIKE, you stop thinking about it and focus on something that's positive.  YES dude, let us CONTROL OUR ANGER [before it controls us] dude😡😡😡

That 'EXPECTATION TRAP'!

 

Life is really life.  LIKE we hit the sack tonight, thinking and expecting that tomorrow the sun will be dandy and shining, only to witness come next day, rains that initially irritated you until it worsens to become a heavy downpour that would later cause flash floods along the roads WHERE you need to traverse [regardless if you are a commuter OR a driver].  Too often, we're bombarded with almost 'picture-perfect' highlight reels of morning routines, aesthetic setups [either at home OR at work] OR even 'couple goals'.   WHERE does that lead us to?  You guessed it right dude!  Those 'ideals' can manifest as EXPECTATIONS.  Oh yes, EXPECTATIONS are WHAT we think will happen📗📙📘

On the other hand, before we know it, REALITY kicks in, REALITY happens and WHILE along the way we hoped that both will be the same, we all know that in real life, that script does NOT shape up as you and me thought OR expected. WHAT happens next?  That disparity of EXPECTATIONS versus REALITY can often lead to feelings of discontentment and worse, discouragement that even worsens one's state of unhappiness.  Please DON'T get me wrong.  It is perfectly fine to have hopes and EXPECTATIONS because in truth and in fact, optimism in the face of challenges OR changes can be a good thing💚💛💜

Here's the trap though.  Having a fixed idea of exactly WHAT should happen OR WHAT needs to happen in order for you to be happy can often lead to even more disappointment than IF you faced the situation with an open mind and with the pragmatic understanding that things might NOT work out the precise you wanted💥💥💥

To put things this way, EXPECTATIONS are our beliefs that we hold about the possible outcomes of an event.  WHILE those EXPECTATIONS can play an important role in determining WHAT happens and can contribute to a goal-directed behavior, they can also potentially lead to more disappointment WHEN reality does NOT match up with WHAT we hoped to happen😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Allow me to make reference in that tough basketball world in the NBA where most players WHO end up being awarded contracts by the ballclubs become the affirmation [and sometimes validation] that a player is talented enough at the level of NBA standards for hoopsters.  Guess WHEN do we witness the gaps between EXPECTATIONS and REALITY?  It is WHEN PLAYERS thought they will have 'x' minutes of playing time, only to end up warming the bench most of the time.  WHETHER the coach is right OR wrong for the player's limited time is moot and academic because the FIX here is for the player to temper his own EXPECTATIONS!!!

Living In A TOXIC Environment?

 

WHO wants to live in the midst of a TOXIC environment?  Of course, no one wants, regardless if it's at home, at the workplace OR in any of the communities we live in.  There is NO sure-fire solution for us to survive a TOXIC environment BUT experts counsel in unison that, first and foremost, we got to develop that SELF-AWARENESS, knowing your own self so that you DON'T take on other people's insecurities and projections.  And YES, the subtle trouble with living with someone WHO may seem manipulative and hurtful is that IF you listen to them that long enough, before you know it, you would have internalized and embedded their own opinions and even criticisms, ouch.  WHAT happens next, even their own harsh words may become your very own inner voice and that's self-inflicting📗📙📘

WHILE it's a given that we are all humanly flawed and even making mistakes may happen more often than we want it to be, experts advise us to believe in our own innate goodness and learn to accept our own self, regardless if it's our good OR our bad qualities.  And it helps to tune other people out by consistently grounding our own self in the knowledge of WHO we are and WHAT our own GOD has made you for HIMSELF.  And WHEN that moment comes WHEN you end up spending time with someone critical and/or manipulative, let us avoid letting them drag us into matters that may trigger us, dragging us.  And I remember reminding myself several times in the past that I am NOT required to participate in anything I choose NOT to.  Experts coined that as DETACHMENT, LIKE steering clear of subjects that may potentially evoke strong and intense feelings, and WHEN your judgment call comes, choose to walk away if you potentially feel that you may get triggered and drawn to💚💛💜

And one key lesson I did learn the 'hard way' in the past is one WHICH I consider as one of the most essential steps to recover and move on in life and that's ACCEPTANCE.  That word itself even WHEN translated into concrete action is tough LIKE that 'emotionally manipulative person' for WHO they are, LIKE your past for WHAT it was, and the relationship for WHAT it is.  As they say, as long as we keep wishing and hoping for any of these to be different, we may end up trapped that keeps us chained💥💥💥

OH YES, one very 'open secret' I've openly practised is journalling.  Journalling my own thoughts and feelings [especially in those struggling times], getting them out all either in hardcopy or e-Notes just makes sense did translate to put my own jumbled thoughts on paper and lately even on e-Notes.  End-result?  I detected the ominous patterns shaping up and in effect, it guided me as to HOW can I start behaving in a way that will help me regain control, and at times in the past, it even helped me to do either a soft reset OR even a hard reboot.  I CAN'T imagine things if I never had that wiggle room to extricate myself out from those quagmires hitting me from time to time❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  TOXIC environments come in various forms and shapes.  LIKE you feel stressed and yet, still forcing yourself to work despite the fatigue you feel.  OR WHEN you feel undervalued OR NOT that appreciated enough by people around you [either at home OR @workplace] despite all the efforts you have exerted to date towards your self-improvements and worse, at times, you might feel NO ONE wants to acknowledge your achievements.  All these leading your discomfort and tiredness?  Let's go back to basics dude, reinforcing our SELF-AWARENESS way before we can consider ACCEPTANCE as a way out.  YES, it's tough if we end up living in a TOXIC environment dude😡😡😡

Avoid Putting Your Foot In Your Mouth [then you'll be fine]

Call it calmness BUT I'll rather call it recklessness WHEN we spew out words that should NOT have happened in the first place because that's nothing less than PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH.  NOT to nitpick, BUT this happens mostly WHEN we are in places WHERE we feel most relaxed, name it, your home OR your office nook.  And then WHAT often times exacerbates this situation is WHEN we are in the company of people WHO either are people we're closest to, OR people with whom we're so relaxed OR worst, people we DON'T care [which is totally wrong, BTW]📗📙📘

Many times in the past, I heard these regretful admissions:

• I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BUT...
• BEFORE I COULD THINK, I BLURTED OUT....
• I WISH I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT...

BTW, those were the words NOT just of third parties BUT I myself, I was guilty [many times] on that in the past.  True enough, at one time OR another, we have all learned the hard way that our words have that super incredible power, enough to knock off the most stubborn giant, and even a supposedly emotionless person.  WHAT happens next, we often resolve NEVER to repeat that mistake.  Really???

This is WHERE our supposed 'right to speech' gets into the picture.  WHAT we hear is people invoking freedom of expression [especially for us WHO live in these very boisterous democracies].  WHAT happens next many of us engage in automatic critical self-talk and other self-defeating thought patterns.  LIKE we may chide ourselves for being 'stupid' OR 'lazy' WHEN we make a mistake and WHEN we practice that 'right to speech' inwardly, we would tend to train ourselves to notice that habitual thought that loops till we get engaged in.  We then examine those thoughts for truth and helpfulness and in so doing, we learn to avoid that temptation to mindlessly accept such thoughts as truth💥💥💥

Psychologists keep reminding us that that RIGHT to SPEECH comes with it our responsibility to say the right words at the right time.  BTW, there is NO single word has been given that 'blanket' a-ok to be spewed and uttered any day anywhere anyhow.  Telling someone that he's either handsome OR beautiful may NOT be the right words to say especially if the other person is NOT apt OR deserving enough to hear such words, even if words are expressed in good faith.  In the end, you might end up doing 'damage control' instead of that intent and spirit to be nice😃😃😃

Our takeaway:  Looking back, I have this one key realization.  I recall that those times I felt I was a 'loose cannon' were those times WHEN I was facing difficult OR challenging moments, those times WHEN I succumbed to a poor judgment call.  And bundle it with situations WHEN we're either hurt, confused, frustrated OR worst, angry, those are the times WHEN we become most vulnerable to commit those same mistakes [maybe even over and over again].  Our recommended fix:  Let us take a conscious effort to work in cultivating our inner words that are kind, helpful, true and useful.  That way, our words can even help us achieve our goals and become a better person than WHAT and WHO we are now.  YES dude, let us endeavor to AVOID PUTTING OUR FOOT IN OUR MOUTH.  That's certainly doable!!!

Stop Caring About The RESULTS!

 

WHAT are you up to?  NEXT task?  NEXT goal?  YES, go for it [and STOP THINKING ABOUT THE RESULTS].  To quote the famous Nike one-liner, JUST DO IT!!!  I heard this a few times and it's amazing:  I STOPPED CARING ABOUT THE RESULTS [AND STARTED GETTING THEM].  Even before I heard all these, I realized that I have been 'walking the talk' through the years, and in most cases, out of habit 📗📙📘

I've witnessed right up front multiple and countless situations WHERE people get so 'hostaged' by the envisioned results of a planned course of action such that they end up stalled, thinking and thinking about the results they should achieve.  Frustratingly, I've seen initiatives suffer through a debacle and fail all because they got so 'hanged up' with the target results, missing out the dire need to thoroughly plan their tasks ahead.  LIKE if one is angling for an ivy League academic scholarship, then you keep asking yourself WHAT IF you stumble across, WHAT IF after you hurdle all the qualifying steps, you DON'T have a place to stay, WHAT IF your family is NOT financially capable to sustain things???

Instead of ending up so glued to the results you want to achieve, WHY can't we prepare a step-by-step checklist of all the pre-requisites even for the initial filing of your academic scholarship application.  WHO knows you'll fall short in the required weighted average for your academic grades?  WHO knows your preferred course/area of interest has additional criteria you are NOT that aware of?  WHO knows their academic terms do NOT align with your local timelines?  In the shortest one word, WHATEVER is your envisioned results down the road, get and be focused with the PROCESS needed to take you from Point A to Point B to Point C etcetera until you reach and achieve your target results.  Instead of fixating on the specific outcomes, let us embrace intertia and once we get going, let's maintain that momentum through consistency and persistence💚💛💜

The late Jim Rohn, the famous American author and motivational speaker, said it all with brevity:  THINK LESS, DO MORE.  In short, let us consider those upcoming results as a 'side effect' and instead, get focused on good planning and reinforce your consistency in your efforts as it will likely naturally lead you to better productivity, real progress in your journey BUT again, view it as a positive effect rather than the sole purpose😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  Let's be openly frank here.  WHAT are the UPSIDEs if we spend the biggest chunk of our time thinking and anticipating with all the "WHAT IF's" for the result we expect and hope to achieve?  True, that could get that goal more embedded within us.  BUT if we factor-in the time spent WHEN we got stalled and 'hostaged' by thinking over and over again the results, can we agree that that impacts our timeline because instead of devoting our time to progress, we got stalled.  Can we proceed with our task execution and STOP CARING ABOUT THE RESULTS, for now dude???

Is Being TOO NICE Manipulative?

 

Is Being TOO NICE Manipulative?  So sorry for bringing up this quite controversial question that may ignite more questions than answers.  BUT given all the technologies and with social media incessantly creeping into our daily lives, this is worth our discussion at least for today's piece.  I stumbled across this research WHICH examined HOW different groups use that 'participatory culture' of the internet to turn strengths into vulnerabilities, WHICH ultimately threatens expressive freedoms.  BUT before I get whacked here, we're here NOT for witch-hunting BUT more to increase our awareness for those NOT so obvious perils and risks brought about by this never-ending creeps of social media into our lives💚💛💜

NOT to be nitpicking, maybe it's worth it for us to exchange notes HOW to possibly detect and identify those 'RED FLAGS' that will lead us towards a manipulation [WHICH is either happening OR brewing].  LIKE WHEN you receive compliments and praise BUT it feels 'OVER THE TOP'.  True, at first glance, excessive praise can indeed feel that flattering.  However, people WHO layer on the compliments too thickly might be doing it as a way to win one's trust quickly.  Those are the moments WHEN we would feel that 'special'  BUT for someone NOT manifesting things in 'good faith', it could be a tactic to lower your defenses so they can manipulate you later much easier [heard of someone worming him/herself to you and much later, he/she approaches you to seek for a short-term loan?]???

WHAT TO WATCH OUT?  Pay attention as to WHETHER 'that' OR 'this' compliments feel genuine OR forced?  And if they seem to be overly flattering, especially in a relationship that is at its infancy stage, BE CAUTIOUS.  LIKE WHEN someone showers you with attention, be incisive if the 'hidden agenda' is to WIN YOUR TRUST as those individuals often make you feel like the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE initially.  And they will go out of their way to give you all the attention BUT be wary if that is a 'calculated move'.  Over time, that attention may become inconsistent OR worse, even controlling, as their true motives beging to unravel.  WHAT TO WATCH OUT?  Notice if that attention fades once they feel they have gained your trust, OR if they become upset WHEN you set boundaries, ouch😡😡😡

LIKE WHEN one frequently 'plays the victim', one of the clearest signs of manipulation is WHEN someone constantly plays that kind of plight.  You would hear endless 'SOB STORIES' to gain your sympathy and even your emotional investment, making it hard for you to hold them accountable for their actions.  WHAT TO WATCH OUT?  Be wary WHEN they deflect responsibility for an issue, finding a way to shift blame unto others. That's their 'victimhood' goal, ouch❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  The NICE and GOOD things manifested come in various shapes and forms.  And much as we humans have that common weakness for praises and compliments, NOT to be skeptical OR cynical, it behooves that we are able to discern those GENUINE acts versus the NOT-SO GENUINE acts [before we fall prey if such acts end up as semblances of being manipulative!!!