Wiggling Out Of Toxic Environments

 

If there is one commonality we all share across, it's the obvious fact that we all exist and live in our respective ENVIRONMENT.  We may NOT co-exist BUT each of us needs to live and even survive whichever ENVIRONMENT we have.  BUT WHAT is expected from us is our sharp awareness of the ENVIRONMENT we have.  I've seen many people really working hard and NEVER complaining.  And that was GREAT.  BUT it is actually something most people lack sometimes BUT it is NOT the reason for WHATEVER discomfort we would also endure along the way.  At times, we feel that discomfort because we DIDN'T get any recognition from other people, even for just a bit📗📙📘

True, many of us are NOT seeking validation BUT it's just that they know WHAT you do BUT DON'T want to acknowledge it.  As we would try to bring about WHAT we did, WHAT is important in working, BUT we would sometimes find our own self becoming that somewhat arrogant person in the room for the work you have done.  BUT alas, I feel blessed because I was in this ENVIRONMENT only once many years back📌📌📌

IF and WHEN we do realize that we are in that TOXIC ENVIRONMENT, WHAT'S next?  The experts would be quick to counsel us to LET GO OF WHAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL.  And I CAN'T agree less with this.  WHEN attempting to survive a TOXIC ENVIRONMENT, it becomes critical to remember that there are things outside our periphery and sphere of influence.  And WHILE we typically CAN'T control the culture itself, we can control HOW we respond to the situation💥💥💥

If there's one harsh lesson I learnt while going through the gauntlet in a TOXIC ENVIRONMENT, it's that everything becomes draining.  And belatedly then, I realized that it is imperative to develop and enforce boundaries between parties, even with the closest of your close coterie of friends.  A real-life example is WHEN one starts to bad-mouth someone else, WHAT you can do is CHANGE THE SUBJECT.  That way, you can avoid getting sucked into that looming negativity❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Looking back WHEN I was trapped in that foxhole of a TOXIC ENVIRONMENT, I thought I had to come up with an action plan, WHICH I did.  And I realized that WHEN I was 'into an action', I hardly felt being worried OR helpless as I was in the middle of all the action.  On the tail-end, I realized my career DOESN'T define me because if we become so enmeshed, that locks us in in a TOXIC ENVIRONMENT we need to extricate ourselves😕😕😕

When Life Gets Harder

 

NOT to be a pessimist BUT life has been laid out for us in such a way that it's NEVER a WALK IN THE PARK, that is a guarantee.  By itself, LIFE IS HARD.  In fact, NOTHING about life is easy.  As a student, it's NEVER easy to get good grades in school [ooooooops, just yesterday, I stumbled across a social media post of a student committing suicide after her father harangued and spewed her with the harshest possible words] all because she missed out garnering academic honors [IF only the parent was NOT that circumspect]📗📙📘

I heard of spine-tingling stories of someone going through a grueling surgery and did struggle to recuperate.  BUT my friend did confide that it was also a struggle to lay at home despite wanting to go out.  Early in my career life, I admit that there were times I found it difficult to plot out things, struggling even on a day to day basis, battling with decisions, thoughts and feelings that come to mind💡💡💡

And quite surprisingly, there were many days I struggled just trying to get out of bed.  And I recall those times WHEN it was equally difficult for me to heal from a disconnect OR an argument.  And YESSSSS, surprisingly, for the NOT so obvious reasons, I found it difficult even WHEN I was awash with $$$$$$.  And to make things more confusing, I did struggle to make new friends BUT more confusingly, it was more difficult to maintain them once you have them.  WHILE it's difficult to make a load of $$$$$$, it was another kind of ballgame to keep it💥💥💥

YES YES yowww, difficulty, struggles and hardship are all woven into life.  You and me CAN'T just easily escape OR even wiggle out of it.  WHAT's difficult and easy are two sides of the same coin, BTW.  You CAN'T have one and NOT the other.  One thing that makes things easier OR more convenient also makes other things more difficult.  Even in the most normal situation, it's one thing is made easier, another is made so difficult❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  The numerous paradoxes in life will always lead us to conclude that it is equally as difficult NOT to be happy and suffer in your pity as it is to do something about it.  And it's equally as difficult to remain in pain as it is to go through the healing process.  And it's equally as difficult to become rich as it is to remain poor.  And it's equally difficult to conquer one's fears as it is to let them conquer you.  YES, both difficulties and challenges AREN'T exclusive to the things that happen once OR infrequently.  In fact and in truth, everyday can be just as challenging as the one-offs😌😌😌

When Brain Fog Creeps In

 

Every day, we hear [OR sometimes experience it on our own] multiple manifestations cum symptoms and in most cases, we're 'spot on' EXCEPT WHEN we hear about BRAIN FOG.  I've known first hand people immediately sought medical advice and some get [wrongly] redirected to medications and some, even end up in therapeutic remedies [WHERE it's all diagnosed wrongly].  Instead, legitimate experts tell us that BRAIN FOG is a term tagging our inability to think clearly enough📗📙📘

Being confused OR disorganized is something that may NOT be critically serious BUT nevertheless it is serious enough as it affects our ability to translate our thoughts into words.  NOT to be surprised, we would easily witness this with senior citizens at at advanced age as they struggle to grapple with their thoughts and verbalizing the same.  Ironically, for some folks WHO end up being prescribed with medications, medical experts themselves unequivocably state that some kind of drugs [both for prescribed and the over-the-counter ones] can even be the very root cause of BRAIN FOG.  They claim that if you take medicine and notice that your thinking ISN'T as clear as it should be OR you suddenly CAN'T remember things, you can be off-track💚💛💜

There is one illness NOT so recognized on the surface BUT statistics show it is impacting a plurality of our population and that relates to CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME [CFS].  As a CFS 101, experts tell us that with CFS, our body and mind are tired for a long time.  We may then feel confused, forgetful and unable to focus.  Sadly, till to date, there is no known cure for CFS, hence that atmosphere of seeming helplessness and frustration for those enduring the challenges of CFS as it keeps recurring💧💧💧

To make the troubling waters look murkier, throw in DEPRESSION, that's WHEN you may NOT remember things well or even be able to think coherently through problems with less struggles.  WHAT challenges experts is that they claim it's hard to know if this is linked to the loss of energy and motivation that comes with DEPRESSION OR IF DEPRESSION affects one's brain in a way that causes that fog.  Good relief, DEPRESSION is something that's less troubling💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Before we get waylaid and locked-in with purported fixes BUT good relief for us all, there is a FIX that WON'T cost $$$$$$$$ and yet it will be a FIX for a lot of our potential medical issues and that's spelled S-L-E-E-P.  Experts tell us to aim for 7 to 9 hours [BUT NOT TOO MUCH before you end FOGGY too].  To lead you to tht quality SLEEP, two things commonly recommended to be avoided, that's caffeine and alcohol [of course there will be outliers, WHEN there are occassions, right?]  BUT WHEN BRAIN FOG CREEPS IN, that should be an early subtle WAKE-UP call for us😡😡😡

That Mix-up Between Happiness And Joy

 

The power and influence of English has been unprecedented through the centuries and the irony is that, along the way, we're caught in a 'mix up' simply based on the context of the simplest words like HAPPINESS and JOY.  True, everyone wants and needs HAPPINESS BUT we get into a different level when JOY creeps in.  For alignment, while HAPPINESS is typically that fleeting and situational emotion, JOY is that much deeper and more lasting state of contentment and satisfaction often linked to that inner well-being with that deep-seated sense of purpose.  Having this much deeper discernment to differentiate these totally different states of fulfillment WHERE it behooves that our awareness should be as clear as the ground versus the skies📗📙📘

Looking back throughout my professional life at work, most of the time, especially WHEN I was an upstart, I was so glued at HAPPINESS, that kind of shortsightedness expected from someone still raw and NOT fully mature in life.  BUT as I went up the ladder in our organizations, I reached that point of saturation WHERE I was confident that I have achieved enough in my HAPPINESS such that I started to move the goal post by looking at JOY, and HOW to achieve it📌📌📌

WHEN I received my job promotions, my state of HAPPINESS was indescribable.  And I thought that was the zenith of everything UNTIL I realized that there was a bit of vacuum, something missing within me and after some soul searching, i realized that achieving JOY is way way up more fulfilling.  WHEN my team member was promoted, that was level of JOY.  WHEN another team member became a full-fledged manager, I reached a much higher level of JOY😁😁😁

Taking a step back, we got to realize a few things NOT so perceptible on the surface.  THAT life itself is unpredictable, and NO amount of planning can guarantee the outcome of your desire.  This is WHEN one has to exert more than just the normal effort.  And WHEN people come and go in our life, NOT everyone we love will stay forever in that place.  If there is anything permanent, it is CHANGE.  And along the way, NOT everyone will like us.  NOT everyone will embrace us.  In the shortest word, NOT everyone will accept us, period❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHILE sometimes life is NOT fair, WHEN sometimes even bad things happen to good people, trust can be broken along the way and repairing and even rebuilding it may take much longer time with much more effort than breaking it.  Rectifying these outliers becomes a MUST-DO for us to get back on track, back on the road as we continue to search for HAPPINESS and more than just, finding that level of JOY that will give us much more sense of fulfillment.  If 'hitting two birds with one stone' becomes that relevant, it is WHEN we achieve that level of JOY because that even leap-frogs our previous modest goals of getting entranced with HAPPINESS.  Be mindful of that mix-up between HAPPINESS and JOY, dude❗❗❗

Do We Need To Curb Our Enthusiasm?

 

Do We Need To CURB OUR ENTHUSIASM?  I'd say that generally, I'll question that challenging question because per se, WHY bother to curb our ENTHUSIASM?  All along, we're egging everyone to ne enthused.  We're tossing out all kinds of carrots and enticements to encourage ENTHUSIASM .  YES, excitement is a natural and invigorating emotion that adds zest to our life, NO doubt about it.  HOWEVER, WHEN ENTHUSIASM crosses that invisible threshold over into that 'overexcitement', it can trigger that detrimental effects on our physical and even mental well-being.  This opinion has been backed by several researches that delved into the perils of 'overexcitement' and it can potentially affect our health.  NOT to dampen your ENTHUSIASM BUT studies show that it can lead us to a mile-long list of downsides in our life📗📙📘

Topping that list of downsides is that ENTHUSIASM can disrupt our sleep patterns, leading to insufficient rest.  Racing thoughts, heightened mental arousal and even that surge of adrenaline can make it difficult to fall asleep OR even stay asleep.  Sleep deprivation can have that far-reaching consequences including fatigue, impaired cognitive function, mood disturbances and even increased susceptibility to illnesses😢😢😢

Deeper and extensive studies also led to results confirming that ENTHUSIASM can trigger heightened levels of stress and anxiety.  The anticipation of an event OR an intense surge of emotions can activate our body's stress response, thereby releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.  I can attest to these episodes during those years WHEN I was reporting for my Day-1 in a new job❗❗❗

Apparently, prolonged exposure to these hormones can trigger and lead us to those detrimental effects including [hold your breath] increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, compromised immune function, and even a higher risk of developing anxiety disorders.  NOT to scare you and NOT to be the harbinger of 'armageddon-like' information here indeed this is a slew of illnesses we all dread to even talk about, right?  And that's WHEN physical exhaustion can creep in as well because ENTHUSIASM, particularly WHEN accompanied with physical exertion, can eventually lead us to physical exhaustion and engaging in activities with unchecked ENTHUSIASM without allowing sufficient time to rest can lead to muscle fatigue and as per advice my medical specialists, it can contribute to our eventual overall physical depletion💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  The worst of all downsides that hit us hard is that scary impaired decision-making because the experts tell us that intense ENTHUSIASM can lead us to that impaired decision-making ability as it often leads us to impulsive behavior and even that kind of clouded judgment.  WHAT happens next, rational thinking and logical reasoning can take the back seat WHEN our emotions run high and eventually, leading us to poor decision-making and even those dire regrettable consequences❎❎❎

That Curse of Knowledge

 

Way way back even before we were born, everyone embraced that thirst and hunger for KNOWLEDGE and that's a GIVEN!  Fast forward decades after,  THAT CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE. And we were reared, schooled and trained that KNOWLEDGE will help contribute towards our ultimate outcome WHICH is SUCCESS + HAPPINESS.  BUT in the 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' of American author Robert Kiyosaki, he opines that KNOWING MORE DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN EARNING MORE📘📙📗

His book challenges all those conventional thinking by encouraging his readers to transcend that 'RAT RACE' mentality, a vicious cycle of working for $$$$$$$ BUT WITHOUT really achieving the true financial freedom we all always dreamt of.  Veering away from this financial thread and moving over to critical thinking, I admit that through the years, I have always been that type of person WHO wants to understand the "WHY" of things📌📌📌

Admittedly, in school, I struggled with teachers WHO just passed on content BUT did well with those WHO explained the "WHY" behind things.  And WHAT other discipline seeks to explain everything even the inexplicable?  WHICH reminds me of a paper which states that Philosophy is more than just old books and complex theories.  Instead, it's an intellectual adventure to embark on a journey of questioning and even critical thinking💥💥💥

To challenge myself [more than just playing devil's advocate], I tried to tear down fallacies LIKE these syllogistic reasonings:

EVERYTHING THAT IS RARE IS COSTLY.  A GOOD CHEAP CAR IS RARE.  THEREFORE, A GOOD CHEAP CAR IS COSTLY !@#$%?  

Of course NOT!  HOW is that possible !@#$%?

Our takeaway:  Fast-forward many decades and years after, let's admit it, sometimes we [and I've been guilty of that many times] we sometimes reason out in equally flawed ways and because the conclusion DOESN'T seem absurd, it ends up going unnoticed.  With all these iterations, I usually use these syllogistic arguments to demonstrate that even our rationality has its limitations.  This brings me to the obvious CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE because as Robert Kiyosaki said, KNOWING MORE DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN EARNING MORE!@#$%?

What Is Yours Will Find You

 

How many narratives have we heard OR witnessed WHERE someone kept trying and trying on something and he kept failing and failing to a point WHERE the last thing he has to do is knock off his head on that concrete wall, hoping that fortunes will sway into his favor.  OR someone WHO has stretched his patience and perseverance to a point WHERE he is adamantly questioning if he should raise the white flag and give up because he has played all the cards and pulled on all possible strings, BUT with all efforts all in vain.  UNTIL one day, we will hear a sage advice that WHAT IS YOURS WILL FIND YOU. In brief, it's kind of telling us that NOT all things we want in life are for us, NOT UNTIL when the stars align📗📙📘

The concept that WHATEVER is MEANT FOR YOU WILL FIND YOU, no matter what, can seem mystical OR even sometimes kind of superstitious.  HOWEVER, there is some truth to this idea.  Life is indeed full of surprises and sometimes, the things that are meant to be ours come to us in the most unexpected ways.  Trusting your instincts is a crucial component of trusting destiny.  Your intuition can guide you towards WHAT you're meant to do OR WHERE you're meant to go.  However, it can be challenging to trust yourself, especially WHEN our society seems to emphasize the importance of rational decision-making.  Listening to your inner voice can be liberating and lead to unexpected outcomes.  And trying to control everything in your life can lead to disappointment and worse, even frustration.  There are countless factors outside of your control such as the economy OR other people's actions💥💥💥

Learning to let go of control and trust that everything will work out in the end can be empowering.  Instead of focusing on WHAT's NOT going well, let us focus on WHAT we can control and let the universe take care of the rest.  Staying grateful and open-minded alongside that willingness to try new things may lead us even to potential opportunities we might have never thought to come our way in the first place.  I heard this a few times and I CAN'T agree less that trusting destiny means trusting our journey, even WHEN sometimes it seems uncertain.  There are times WHEN you might feel lost OR unsure of WHERE you're headed to💚💛💜

BUT here's the big BUT.  IF we ever trust that everything is happening for a reason, we might yet discover that things will may still fall in place, with the starts aligning in our favor.  True, we might find that the setbacks we could be facing along the way are always necessary and helpful to prepare us and 'harden' our resoluteness and combined with our resilience for the many more future parts of our journey💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Even as we speak now, I'll openly admit that I am a 'frustrated lawyer' because straight from university, I hopped-on to our country's most prestigious law school.  BUT after my freshman year, I took a 90-degree turn, abandoning my law studies and deciding to switch my career path towards the technology space.  NOT to my surprise, till today, I never regret abandoning law school because as the adage goes, WHAT'S YOURS WILL FIND YOU [and that exactly happened with me even as we speak now]😄😄😄

It's Fine To Criticize BUT....

 

These days WHEN and WHERE social media seems to have taken over our lives, to CRITICIZE seems to be as casual and normal as breathing.  BUT even as everyday we have that renewed and refreshed energy, often missed out is the fact that our energy yesterday might NOT likely be the same as the energy we have today.  And tomorrow we might have an energy greater than the previous days.  So, IT'S FINE TO CRITICIZE BUT hold on it for now📗📙📘

Today we might do a lot BUT God knows, tomorrow we might be doing a lot more. WHEREAS the next day, we could be doing less.  BUT that is A-OK.  Doing the things we want to do with our given energy for the day is WHAT we are aiming for anyways.  And even if we do a little bit of this and that today, that's still A-OK.  Problem is, we are tempted to keep raising the bar, often pushing us sometimes beyond our threshold💧💧💧

The disconnect creeps in WHEN sometimes we expect ourselves to always perform at the same level of energy WHERE we last had that highest level of energy of the day.  Little did we know that there are little things that take our energy that we DON'T usually see.  And we tend to see only them WHEN they become enormously big enough, until we're tired💥💥💥

Truth is, there is just NO singular rule to follow in this context.  Instead, this is ONLY set by the person you see in the mirror WHEN you're all by your own self.  And that is IF you are true to yourself that you've exerted your darn best for today.  Then, we can live with that and try again to be the better OR best version by tomorrow as compared to today.  BUT, nothing is guaranteed here because the roads ahead are NOT paved❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Much as we would kick our own ass damn hard and grind the hardest like DAWGs, nothing is cast in stone here.  Today is as unique by itself from yesterday and so is tomorrow.  This inconsistency has been witnessed even in competitive sports like in the NBA where a superstar like Stephen Curry can end up with triple double stats today BUT come next day, everything nosedives.  Our lesson here is that we need to be aware of these normal cycles instead of end up CRITICIZING someone because he did things poorly today.  You never know if that fellow will have a 'BOUNCE BACK' of a performance come tomorrow, dude😋😋😋

You Are What You Are

All along, we would hear, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.  BUT no sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with foodies OR physical health.  BUT instead, we'd like to delve on the premise that living a non-delusional life may be boring BUT it's for REAL.  LIKE you wake up naturally, exercise, meditate, you DON'T use your phone, you DON'T listen to music, then you get all your work done, then you walk around.  True, spending your day like that is mindful but it can be boring, ouch📗📙📘

Verily true, controlling yourself to do the right thing is often much easier as you are able to respect and even appreciate the painful moments, as you would realize that they become that extremely necessary for the overall growth of an individual.  True, there are moments that made you that angry OR irritated BUT you knew HOW to manage them properly.  Instead of reacting on your impulse, you would acknowledge them instead.  And often, that may NOT last long BUT still, you could have tried❎❎❎

That need for instant gratification in this fast-paced world has made peace look boring, whew with toxic behaviors that seem to be so normalized these days.  LIKE people make totally absurd jokes about self-destruction to make their memes and reels go viral.  REALLY!  Worst, some think that toxicity is fun BUT NOT to defend them, some have NO idea WHAT he was doing was considered toxic NOT until they will do their self-reflection💥💥💥

True again, living a a non-delusional life can be boring BUT that's only IF you have that wrong OR skewed perspective of 'fun'.  LIKE too much consumption of NETFLIX and IG will make you crave for a life that is non-existential in the very first place.  WHY?  Because WHAT you see on the screen is a highly filtered reality.  So, have you ever considered the after-effects of those so called 'fun' and delusional moments?  YES, a lot can go wrong if we are NOT mindful enough of WHERE you will really spend your time and energy.  Think about it❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  Let's all continue scribe to this health-related one-liner:  YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT because in essence, WHAT you consume is WHO you are.  True, that consumption can either be either virtual OR physical.  And with DELUSION, it will give you clarity on WHAT you mean WHEN you say that staying mindful may be boring [really?] BUT the harsh reality is that DELUSION is a poison wrapped n a honeycomb.  To quote these poetic passages:  IN LIFE'S VIBRANT TAPESTRY, BE MINDFUL AND FREE.  STAY CLOSE TO WHAT'S REAL, LET FANTASIES FLEE.  LIKE A SAILOR ON WAVES, NOT LOST IN THE SEA.  DELUSIONS MAY DANCE BUT TRUE JOY IS THE KEY.  WITH A CLEAR AND OPEN HEART, YOUR PATH YOU WILL SEE😄😄😄

Pitfalls Of Promises

 

Our choice between PROMISES versus PITFALLS is a no-brainer BUT here's the catch.  More often, PITFALLS are tied up to those PROMISES via that uncut umbilical cord, believe it OR not.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  I'm NOT about to wage a solitary war against PROMISES because through the years, I did make and pledge on multiple PROMISES to myself, to my family, to my close coterie of friends and YES, even to my trusted confidants and colleagues at the workplace.  BUT alas, I have to admit that all throughout, I was as innocent as a pre-school boy that each time I spew out and drip my blood as I swear to a PROMISE, right alongside it are the PITFALLS arising from the PROMISE I just seemed to have etched in stone.  Irony here is that our sheer intent for PROMISES may cause us to be exposed with PITFALLS📗📙📘

We all agree that PROMISES are the very bedrock of forming the foundations of trust within families, teams and organizations.  And WHEN an individual commits to deliver specific outcomes, that PROMISE alone establishes a clear expectation that the receiver [of the PROMISE] can depend on.  That act of keeping PROMISES builds our own credibility and can even foster accountability within ourselves💚💛💜

Before we get lost along the way, let's increase our awareness of the most common reasons WHY some PROMISES fail to be fulfilled:

• OVERPROMISING and/or UNDERESTIMATING
• LACK of CLARITY of a PROMISE
• CHANGING PRIORITIES
• SHIFTING of FOCUS
• INSUFFICIENT SUPPORT STRUCTURE
• UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES
• LACK of ACCOUNTABILITY

A cynic might blurt:  The way to avoid PITFALLS is NOT to make PROMISES.  BUT that is a very regrettable [if NOT dreadful] proposition because that may lead to a mindset that is NOT only complacent and laidback BUT we might end up with someone with NO forward-looking attitude in life and instead, he's willing to even loose by default, by NOT even making a PROMISE at least to his very own self.  As we grapple with multifarious kinds of challenges in life, this could be the last nail on the coffin [to express things figuratively]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  PROMISES are always a critical component in our life.  Take that away from life, we could end up like a seed planted in the parches deserts in the Middle East [except if that is a cactus].  And, even as PROMISES can be fragile enough, understanding the common PITFALLS of PROMISES can help us to proactively 'nip things in the bud'.  Frankly, there are more UPSIDEs of PROMISEs even if those PITFALLS may arise.  That's WHAT we should be up to dude!!!