Spend More Time READING Rather Than Scrolling

Spend More Time READING Rather Than Scrolling

This should NOT be debated BUT I've to confess that I've been seating at the edges of my chair, itching to raise this up.  So, the bigger question looming over us us:  Should we Spend More Time READING Rather Than Scrolling?  You might get back to me and retort:  WHAT'S WRONG WITH SCROLLING?  Flatly, I'll say that there is NOTHING wrong with SCROLLING if that eats up roughly 10% of your slack time.  BUT WHAT IF I tell you that many of us spend approximately 50% of their slack time SCROLLING and SCROLLING?  50% and above should be an outlier!!!

Good for us, technology has been of extreme help for us.  I have to admit that these days, I very rarely go to the local bookstore to buy hard bounds, if at all.  Instead, e-Books are our best option [it's much cheaper on apples-to-apples].  BUT WHAT's going on instead?  Social media has lorded it over, taking over our lives [at least our slack time [BUT THAT'S HUGE!]!!!

Please DON'T get me wrong though.  Studies show how impactful technology has been to us.  Portable devices are changing the way we read OR consume content.  And research studies support those findings and the novel of it is that people tend to read more on screen than on paper.  Many of us, however, are still NOT comfortable with our changing reading behavior.  Worse thing, with our waning interest, social media has taken advantage of it by pulling us more into scrolling instead, whew!@#$%?

C'mon dude, reading is a crucial learning activity.  And BTW, reading has NO AGE BOUNDARIES.  WHO says that you should slacken off your reading when you hit 40, 50 OR 60?  My take here is that, there is more truth to the opposite understanding because as you hit 40, 50 OR 60, obviously you have much more time to spare, right?  There have been plenty of studies showing HOW screen reading affects our brain.  Some even welcome the fact that screens afford more enriching experiences for us.  Others, though, maintain that they're NOT ideal and may even reduce one's attention span [Oh, I heard this lame excuse many times]❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Please allow me to share these basic approaches I've adopted along the way:

• Short-form reading works well on screen.  Let us leverage on the enhanced 'look and feel' we have!
• Digital contents have been presented to be more 'scannable' and much easier to 'digest visually'
• As non-linear reading is rising, texts are shorter to read

Yes dude, SPEND MORE TIME READING RATHER THAN SCROLLING💚💛💜

Is RECIPROCITY Still The Way To Go?

 

IS RECIPROCITY STILL THE WAY TO GO?  I'd quip, YES and NO.  YES because, even our forefathers and previous generations, they all cascaded down the line that we should embrace RECIPROCITY, unconditionally.  BUT here's the thing.  Things are NOT getting simpler and life itself is NOT just purely X's and O's anymore📗📙📘

Putting things in the right context, RECIPROCITY is a process of exchanging things with other people to gain a mutual benefit.  That norm of RECIPROCITY has evolved to become a social norm WHERE if someone does something for you, you then feel kind of obligated to return the favor.  BUT the thing here is that, generally, people tend to feel 'OBLIGATED' to return favors after people do favors for them as well.  Time to flip things💥💥💥

WHAT IF someone frequently does you a disservice.  OR to put things bluntly, WHAT IF someone continues to hurt you [WHETHER that's verbally, emotionally OR otherwise] premeditatedly?  OR WHAT IF a work colleague continues to give you that 'cold shoulder' in official functions OR even right in front your bosses.  OR WHAT IF you really thought someone deserves to be your close friend BUT in reality, that person seems to be intentionally hurting you by his/her behaviors and manifestations?  Someone might scream here like "IT'S A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH".  Oooops, let cooler heads prevail here💚💛💜

NOW, if you throw back those scenarios right in my face, HOW do I handle it?  This is WHERE my take here is that we need to 'tweak' reciprocity based on the circumstances at hand.  IF someone continues to hurt you [even as you're flabbergasted as to WHY], pull the brakes and figure things out WHY.  If you work in tandems and yet your supposed partner at work continues to do the opposite things on you, pull-in your partner for a 1-on-1 and for validation, if your observation is correct and if so, WHY IS IT SO???

Our takeaway:  RECIPROCITY is NOT akin to 'one size that fits all'.  Instead, we need to handle each situation uniquely, factoring-in the circumstances at hand.  Worst thing we should be watchful of is NEGATIVE RECIPROCITY when another person is trying to eke out OR extract something from you more than WHAT he earlier extended over to you.  So, while RECIPROCITY IS STILL THE WAY TO GO, let us not practice it 'hook, line and sinker'❎❎❎

Prove Or Disprove Your Assumptions!

At the workplace, by default, we DON'T breathe and breathe based on assumptions.  Instead, decisions are generally data-driven. WHEN we close-out something, it is likely an informed DECISION because WHERE possible, it is NOT ideal to come up with DECISIONS based on ASSUMPTIONS [unless such ASSUMPTIONS are variable in an equation.  WHAT's the ASK here?  Either we PROVE or DISPROVE our Assumptions!!!

To briefly piggy-back into our project management jargon, we define an ASSUMPTION as an 'event' with a probability of over 50% and if the probability of the 'event' is also less than 100%, it becomes a risk.  From a layman's perspective, we do make ASSUMPTIONS from time to time, even without exerting an effort to figure out its probability [BUT that's fine, we DON'T need to do those number-crunching stuff in our personal life].  The perilous part of ASSUMPTIONS is that if we hinge a future event to be triggered by an ASSUMPTION which we are clueless as regards its probability.  And rather than ram things through your throat, we'd like to encourage you to take the 'WHAT IF' path📌📌📌

WHAT IF you assumed you will receive financial bonuses and on that note, you started planning for an overseas family holiday?  WHAT IF, that expected financial bonuses DIDN'T come?  WHAT IF your whole family is excited to drive in the countryside BUT alas, you missed out to book your hotel and then you assumed that the hotels will NOT be fully booked even during those travel dates you were eyeing.  WHAT IF there is no available room by the time you arrive at your hotel destination😕😕😕

Much as we DON'T want this thread to be drawn from the context of the workplace, it becomes inevitable to draw the parallelism because that's exactly WHAT's transpiring at the workplace.  ASSUMPTIONS and RISKS are constant parts of the equation, albeit their value are variable.  Back to our personal life, before things turn awry, it is essential that we adopt the WHAT IF approach as a pre-emptive move❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  WHERE possible, consider injecting all possible WHAT IF scenarios for every decision you close-out based on a set of ASSUMPTION.  You might ask, WHAT will it take to plot the WHAT IF scenarios?  Dude, it will entail NOT much efforts except that you need to widen your thought process and dump out of the window any blockers.  YES dude, let us either PROVE OR DISPROVE OUR ASSUMPTIONS💥💥💥

The Downside Of Humility?

 

Is HUMILITY worth our talking point today?  Sounds a boring topic, right?  Considering that HUMILITY has always been recognized as a virtue worth cultivating.  And it's pointless to argue about it given its long list of numerous advantages for us to try becoming a HUMBLE person.  BUT psychologists recently uncorked something.  Does Humility Have a DOWNSIDE???

Recent research data have been released to show that HUMILITY has its 'dark side'.  And surprisingly, it is something that has largely gone unnoticed, NOT even by psychology SMEs, until recently as those new data sets show that HUMILITY has some significant costs.  And these findings suggest as to WHY it might be so hard for many of us to cultivate this ancient virtue all of us valued in life💥💥💥

To pry into one particular research, it says that, apparently, there are different kinds of expressions of HUMILITY.  Farther down, HUMILITY around our own beliefs OR worldviews is known as INTELLECTUAL HUMILITY, our own ability to admit WHAT we DON'T know, admitting our own limitation, expressing our beliefs in a non-defensive manner and have that willingness to change our beliefs WHEN strong evidence arises❗❗❗

BUT here comes a bit of a shocker as the SMEs claim that there might be situations WHEN this strength [of our own intellectual HUMILITY] may feel like a liability.  HOW?  That is, in some situations, feelings of security and certainty might be more appealing [and maybe even psychologically necessary].  So, to understand that sort of 'dark side' of HUMILITY, we are advised to first appreciate some of our existential realities that come with being human.  And all of us must come to terms with some 'givens' of us humans.  A concrete example is WHEN each of us have to make decisions from countless options and live with the ramifications of those decisions.  And that's WHEN we're 'gripped' with anxiety trying to to make critical decisions😕😕😕

Our takeaway:  One reality we must all face is isolation itself, WHICH is the awareness that each of us enter into and depart from this world completely alone.  Our daily existence is marked by a unique experience.  And no one knows WHAT it is like to be us NOR do we know WHAT it is like to be someone else.  For this reason, we continue to strive to earn the validation and approval of others as we want them to affirm our experiences as real as in our mind, endorsement of our experiences will serve as an affirmation of our humanity.  The BIG ASK on us is to navigate our way through the labyrinths of HUMILITY so we DON'T end up on its dark side💚💛💜

[It Seems] Health Is NOT Valued Until Sickness Comes

 

English writer Thomas Fuller is widely quoted by this:  HEALTH IS NOT VALUED UNTIL SICKNESS COMES.  If nothing else, the recent Covid-19 Pandemic has revealed this to be true.  We DON'T always appreciate our health WHEN we feel good BUT we miss it terribly WHEN we experience an illness.  To be precise, the word 'HEALTH' can apply to different areas of our well-being:  physical, emotional, mental, interpersonal and so on📗📙📘

Knock on wood, if sickness hits us in any of these areas can cause our whole being to spiral into various levels of 'unwellness'.  I DON'T want to speak like a medical expert but even as a layman, I believe you will agree that our goal should be to attain holistic health.  I heard this a couple of time WHEREIN we put so much focus in other areas of our health BUT miss on one area we [wrongly] thought is immaterial💧💧💧

And experts concocted a coinage for this, tagging it as UNBALANCED EXISTENCE.  Like we heed a specific call BUT we neglect the equally other important areas of our health.  So, WHAT happens, for the sake of the call, many will abandon self-care and thus suffer the consequences of poor health.  NOT to be cynical about this BUT like almost many others, it is unlikely that we will be inclined to change our habits UNLESS [knock on wood] we receive a 'SHOCK' BUT ISN'T it would be hundred times easier to change habits WITHOUT that 'SHOCK'?  If only we can take and embrace this proposition, the importance and priority of our health will very likely shoot up💥💥💥

NOW let's dig deeper as to WHAT really is ailing many of us.  It is important to remember that generally, people only CHANGE a habit IF they are prepared to give something up to make that CHANGE and this could be as perverse as seeking attention.  This explains WHY global organizations have been creative enough, like 'incentivizing' health employees.  Taking the 'Xtra' mile, in my latest organization, we even introduced yoga WHICH is proven to have a positive effect on health.  And still farther down, even 101 sessions about financial managements come into play because an employee with sound 'financials' will likely have a greater 'peace of mind'😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  There should be NO need for any sales pitch to accentuate the importance of our HEALTH because we would surely all agree that WHEN things go down south, it will be bad

or critically bad enough for us.  And NOT to scare, sometimes, the initial triggers are akin to those tectonic plates which will start off with slight movements until the intensity worsens.  Over to our lives, WHEN we get hit with a HEALTH issue, there is always that probability that the problem will NOT only worsen BUT mother of all things, that problem can get compounded, causing a domino effect, with each domino in our life falling down until we run out of it.  Dude, it's NEVER late to VALUE OUR HEALTH NOW as in NOW💚💛💜

YES, Do Expose Yourself Out There!

 

HOW often have you been HOLDING BACK because you want something to be perfect from the start?  You and me should know well enough that that mindset is, at the very least, twisted if NOT wrong.  WHY?  Because I can attest to this.  Almost everything we did for the first time in life is either BAD OR at the very least, it is NOT good enough.  So, let us NOT end up fooling ourselves to ever dissuade ourselves from trying because we owe it to ourselves to get EXPOSED OUT THERE!!!

Very true, let us forego with PERFECTION for now.  BTW, not even the top surgeon of a full-service hospital can guarantee picture-PERFECT surgical operations each time he steps into the operating room/theater [much as surgeons commit to give it their best shot].  Due, we're NOT in the middle of examinations.  This is our life instead.  Making mistakes is a natural, everyday thing.  DON'T exaggerate it❎❎❎

Those time WHEN we get things right are often because we've already made mistakes OR learned from someone WHO went through that similar wringer.  Experts advise us on one thing:  LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.  If you really want something and if you're genuinely drawn to it, it's fine to get obsessed. I remember one poet say, 'GREATNESS IS BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF COUNTLESS MISTAKES'.  To add to that, unfortunately, it does NOT magically show up at all in our everyday travails and tribulations😌😌😌

To quote Canadian writer Robin Sharma, THE FEARS YOU DON'T FACE BECOME YOUR LIMITS.  Well said.  Well said.  I CAN'T agree more with that one-liner.  Truth of the matter, even as we have our respective sets and subsets of FEARS, that leads us to this shared commonality, that is, we have our respective LIMITS but our commonality ends there because other than that, our respective LIMITS end up as unique because very rarely a person WHO has 29 FEARS is exactly a replica of another person's FEARS.  BUT think about it, WHO's the culprit of our LIMITS???

Our takeaway:  In simpler and practical terms, you might ask, SO HOW?  Hey dude, if something scares you, you got at least 2 options namely, to face it head-on OR go away and simply avoid [as if you're ignoring it].  BUT if something scares you, it might be worth trying, right?  True, by nature, we need stability.  We want to survive, to avoid risks that could harm us BUT it's those WHO take risks WHO break through the barriers WHICH others either CAN'T OR FAILED.  NOW, if you fail, will it be embarrassing? Surely it is BUT SO WHAT?  Would you prefer to be embarrassed NOW OR LATER?  WHY put off that awkward moment later WHEN it's for your taking to take the plunge NOW❗❗❗ 

Are We Cut For The SPOTLIGHT Or SUPPORTING Roles?

NO sirrrrrs.  Our thread today has got nothing to do with Hollywood at all.  Instead, we'd like to do an apples-to-apples here WHEN it comes to the roles we want to play in life, i.e. do we want to be in the SPOTLIGHT?  OR SUPPORTING roles?  Which reminds me of a recent thought-provoking Apple Podcast which tackled that age-old question WHETHER we are meant to be in SPOTLIGHT OR are we cut for the SUPPORTING role in life???

NOTHING wrong for us to be angling the SPOTLIGHT because that's the best thing we can have in life indeed.  BUT the realities in life tell us that we are NOT everyone is cut from the same cloth like U.S. President Donald Trump who literally bounced back in the political scene four years after he lost a skirmish with Former President Joe Biden.  WHICH tempts me to ask, is President born and bred for the SPOTLIGHT?  Absolutely.  BUT how about you and me?  That's NOT a huge ASK💚💛💜

WHEN I was worming my way towards the workplace, very much raw in my rookie year straight from the university, I wanted the SPOTLIGHT no less.  BUT early on, I realized that, akin to fruits, everything in life has to ripen.  That's WHEN I came to the realization that, YES I can aim for the SPOTLIGHT [BUT NOT RIGHT NOW].  Meanwhile, I need to take that SUPPORTING role until I successfully ripen😃😃😃

We have witnessed [and sometimes even joined] various competitions.  BUT we should know best if we are either the competitor or the event spectator clapping and cheering for our team.  WHICH reminds me of that Hollywood movie 'THE GREEN MILE' wherein Tom Hanks, the lead guard in prison is forced to make a series of key decisions.  And WHILE he was capable enough in that position, there were decisions WHERE he reached out to his co-guard to help decide the best course of action💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  NO one is cut from the same cloth as compared to the handful of souls WHO seemed to be born to be on SPOTLIGHT.  And President Trump is the best example.  Way prior to joining political forays, he was already in the SPOTLIGHT.  And he even hosted the well recognized THE APPRENTICE which he hosted so deftly.  Running full circle back to ourselves, verily true, many of us deserve to be in that SPOTLIGHT [but WHEN things have 'ripened'].  Just DON'T let the fruit ripen prematurely dude❗❗❗

Letting Things Be

This has been what we've been learning over the past couple of years, that is Letting Things Be, allowing things to happen.  True, it goes counter to our usual instincts in our society, WHERE we are the doers, the creators of our own destiny, making things happen.  All along, this is WHAT I was taught from my early age that we should NOT allow things to happen because, from WHATEVER perspective, that seems to show our PASSIVENESS📗📙📘

Frankly, in the past, I was NOT one WHO would let things happen instead of making then happen, to let go of things.  BUT what betrays us is that our learnings till to date tend to enlighten us more.  BUT that control we think we have over our lives and our destinies, that is an illusion.  We've heard so many 'horror stories', LIKE the woman WHO lost her father to death, LIKE the family WHO lost their home to the raging typhoon, LIKE the entrepreneur WHOSE business went bankrupt, LIKE the cyclist WHO got hit by a skidding car.  So, it happens every day, WHERE we think we're in control WHEN we're NOT.  There's just so much out of control out there that we think is control is really just that, an illusion❎❎❎

Talking about controlling, psychologists are encouraging us to control more about mind, for us to see the cow and her pasture as a form of allowing things to happen, instead of tightly controlling something, you're opening up, giving it more room, a bigger pasture.  In the end, the cow will be happier, will roam around, will do as it pleases and yet our needs will be met as well.  The same is true of anything else, stepping back and allowing things to happen means things will take care of themselves, and your needs will also be met.  Let's imagine allowing things to happen naturally and things work out, and all you did was smile and watch.  You DON'T even have to worry about shaping things, about controlling something that DOESN'T want to be controlled.  You DON'T have to push and fix leaks OR even put our fires.  Instead, you just let things work on their own😂😂😂

Not to paint a rosy picture BUT can we envision allowing things to happen naturally, with things working out on its own, and all you did was smile watch?  WHERE you DON'T have to worry about shaping things, about controlling something that DOESN'T want to be controlled, WHERE you DON'T have to push and fix leaks and out out fires?  Instead, you let things work on their own.  YES they do happen.  And assuming we allow something to happen, you may even want it to go a certain way, to a certain outcome.  BUT WHAT IF you let go of that idea?  WHAT IF you say instead "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN" [BTW, you really DON'T] and WHAT IF you say "LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS".  Then things will happen BUT not the way you planned OR expected it?  The outcome might even be completely different than WHAT you'd hope for.  BUT it can still be great though, BUT probably just different.  WHO knows, it ends up surprisingly pleasant???

Our takeaway:  Let us learn HOW things work.  Instead of trying to make things work the way you want them to work, WHY DON'T we watch them work out?  We'll then learn much more about human nature as we see things work without us controlling it.  WHO knows, it might even change you and me.  Looking back, many things played out in my life which were way beyond my control.  BUT in the midst of things, I kept reminding myself that I should control WHAT I can control.  And for those 'uncontrollables', I would brace myself for the possible scenarios that may unfold, from the best-case scenario to the worst-case scenario.  At the end of the day, LETTING THINGS BE augurs well for us!!!

WHO says that you Can GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING?

 

WHO says that you CAN GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING?  Tell it to the marines, bro.  Have you ever met that  person WHO's always trying to get a good deal?  Please DON'T get me wrong it's been embedded within me to always get a good deal [BUT OUT OF SOMETHING, like a fair deal].  Instead, I'm referring to a person WHO's always trying to get SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.  The one WHO's always looking out for NUMBER ONE, NO matter WHAT OR WHO gets in their way.  DON'T get me wrong BUT my take is that these are the types of people WHO are the very epitome of TAKERS because they get their self-worth and their need for significance based on WHAT they get from other people📗📙📘

Before I get whacked, please DON'T get me wrong.  I'm NOT even referring to those perennial bettors WHO, after donkey years, continue to dutifully buy and place their bets to hit that LOTTO jackpot because those folks are GIVING OUT something [in exchange for those hopes that one day, they will hit pay dirt].  Instead, for that insignificant few [BUT they're still quite a number], their personal ethics tend to be 'loose' and they DON'T mind taking advantage of a situation OR a person if it benefits them even just a little👎👎👎

WHICH reminds me of the movie 'TRUE GRIT' where a girl is so determined to get after the criminal WHO killed her father and without mincing words, she said that the criminal fancied himself 'SCOT FREE BUT HE WAS WRONG. HE HAS TO PAY EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD'.  Inversely, there's the parallelism here to our thread and this solidifies my personal take here that NOTHING IS REALLY FREE IN LIFE.  NOT even WHEN someone commits a crime.  NOT even WHEN one is angling to hit that LOTTO jackpot❎❎❎

In the nasty realities, we did hear SOME [just a minuscule percentage] WHO get into marriage 'SIZING UP' the assets and deficits of the potential partner.  This mindset gets more screwed WHEN that person declares [within himself] that if my eventual partner ends up NOT the partner I expected, then "I'LL NOT PUT IN THE EFFORT TO BE THAT IDEAL PARTNER TOO".  Can we see how BACKWARDS and selfish that frame of mind is?  Regardless of culture OR religion, I can't fathom marriage vows having this clause "AS LONG AS IT BENEFITS ME".  BUT dude, that is NOT the basis in marriages, right?  Otherwise, regrettably, we will find ourselves in a world of hurt.  And that hurt will cost us more than we could ever realize😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  Without singling out cultures OR nationalities, through the years, I always [AS IN ALWAYS] hear OR read a specific nationality being singled out practically everywhere [e.g. in Reddit, Quora.com, TikTok, name it] WHO are more 'notoriously' infamous for that sort of perceived mindset of being more focused to get SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.  BUT to be fair to that nationality, in 99% of narratives, it's NOT really 'FOR NOTHING' because they still dip into their pocket [except that they tend to prefer the BEST DEAL EVER].  Having said that, YES dude, WHO says that we can GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING?  Tell that to the marines!!!

Are We Good Enough?

 

How's your day?  Do you feel GOOD ENOUGH today?  Feeling like a 'GOOD ENOUGH' person in a GOOD ENOUGH body enables us to feel lovable, to love others, and to feel safe and competent in this tough-grinding world.  ARE WE GOOD ENOUGH?  Experts posited that the self-accepting state of feeling 'GOOD ENOUGH' emerges WHEN parents convey to their children acceptance, appreciation, and affection.  YES, we all experienced that, WHENEVER our parents said 'i love you' to us, and in the process, they convey that our mistakes then, as children, are for learning.  NO need to be perfect.  That we love you even though we sometimes dislike some of WHAT you do.  Sadly, some parents convey to their children instead the impression that no matter how good you are, it will NEVER be good enough📗📙📘

Psychologists tell us that ignoring children OR excessively criticizing them OR being mean to them teaches children that something about them is inherently NOT GOOD ENOUGH, OR worse, NOT worthy of love.  Experts advise us that feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH leaves children standing on a 'shaky ground' WHEN in truth they sorely need those emotional foundations as they get into their adulthood, as it makes them prone to anxiety, depression, and even anger😕😕😕

Worst of all worse things, that may likely undermine their ability to enjoy emotionally-secure relationships.  So, this brings us full circle back.  Are we GOOD ENOUGH either as a leader at the workplace OR as a parent as it behooves that we perform our roles skillfully ENOUGH to accomplish the challenges of every relationship, whether it's at the workplace or at our homes💚💛💜

Verily true, we need to understand and apply the techniques and attitudes that sustain positive relationships.  We need these capabilities to be effective in the world.  On the other hand, we DON'T need to accomplish all these challenges PERFECTLY, NOT AT ALL.  We DON'T have to be the Gold Medalist.  OR the class valedictorian.  OR the board exams topnotcher.  Instead, we just need to be GOOD ENOUGH, feel GOOD ENOUGH.  From there, we can enjoy our relationships, making mistakes along the way and learning and growing from the mistakes and errors along the way❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  You might ask, WHO SAYS IF I AM GOOD ENOUGH?  Sirrrrrrs, no one else BUT you.  Obviously, your loved ones and most trusted coterie of friends too are possible sources of feedback BUT all those inputs will feed into you, for you to come up with an INFORMED JUDGMENT whether you have reached that level WHERE you are GOOD ENOUGH.  At the end of the day, it is YOU [and NO ONE ELSE] who will set the bar for you to achieve.  Oooooops, be cautious WHEN setting the bar.  Too high a bar DOESN'T make sense.  OR too low a bar is deceiving yourself.  So, ARE WE GOOD ENOUGH???