Turning The Page[After The Dust Settles]

 

Sometimes life is all smooth sailing and other times, it can feel like we're navigating through thick mud.  During difficult times we might wonder, HOW DID WE END UP HERE?  WHY DOES IT ALL FEEL SO HARD?  WILL I EVER GET THAT BREAK?  Oh Oh, WHEN we end up in stuck places, it is indeed that challenging to know HOW to get back to calm waters.  It's hard to see HOW we will regain our sense that all is well📘📙📗

Indeed, our life's challenges feel hard and draining enough and in the end, we can feel stuck especially with no end in sight at all.  Getting to that other side in our personal life, professional life OR our overall sense of joy in life can somehow feel out of reach.  YES YES yow, I do get it, I've been there more than once in my life.  Catching that 'lucky break' can feel like a roller coaster of a waiting game.  Sort of waiting for something external to shift before we experience relief, and that only amplifies WHEN we're feeling stuck and worse, somewhat disempowered💥💥💥

Over time, after so many times of turbulence up and out there, I've learned if I still feel stuck in the mud after putting in my best [ever] efforts, it's a sign to turn the page and start fresh.  TURNING THE PAGE can be helpful with big obstacles in life and it can also bring relief to the small day to day jams we get caught up in.  Simply put, TURNING THE PAGE is surrendering to WHAT is hard.  Kind of saying "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS STORM I'M IN, SO I'M GOING TO TURN THE PAGE AND START FRESH✅✅✅

WHEN we have stayed and struggled in those agonies long enough, it is about saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  THAT 'I can't change WHAT IS but I can see life before me with that new perspective.  THAT I can bring a new chapter, one that ISN'T bogged down by my current frame of reality.  SO HOW???

• START WITH WHERE YOU ARE - WHEN we feel stuck, starting with WHERE we are might seem like a lost cause because after all, we're stuck!  BUT starting with WHERE we are is really about presence and gratitude.  We can shelf the story about our current circumstances and instead bring to mind all the things we are grateful for.  TURNING THE PAGE ISN'T about ignoring OR denying truths BUT it's about choosing to NOT become swallowed by them❌❌❌
  

• SELF-REFLECTION - Our perception of our 'outer world' is a reflection of our inner world.  And WHEN we make a habit of checking in with ourselves on a daily basis, we can become familiar with that tapestry of our inner world.  Then, WHEN we feel like we are being swallowed by challenges in our external world, we can venture inward and see WHAT we might need shifting.  Our takeaway:  Our perspective creates our experience in life and our choice to adjust our perspective is our source of power.  And WHEN we witness our ability to shift perspective and TURN THE PAGE, we can build more faith in ourself.  TURNING THE PAGE should NOT be a tough call to make, dude😊😊😊

Is It That Hard To Follow Our Passion?

Is It That Hard To Follow Our Passion?

How many times have we been hearing 'FOLLOW YOUR PASSION'?  How many times we heard guest speakers say that in their graduation speeches?  And WHEN we plunge into the job market, how often do we come across that spiel in job ads?  Oh YES, we even say that to our own selves [silently most of the time though].  Even in all surveys, 90% of respondents listed 'PURSUING PASSION' as an important goal for their future.  BUT hold on, would you agree with me that many of us fail [sometimes] miserably to FOLLOW OUR PASSION.  Really?  Is It That Hard To Follow Our Passion

BUT here's a follow-through to those recent surveys.  Out of the 90% respondents WHO admitted FOLLOWING THEIR PASSION as being at the top of the totem pole, only a paltry 20% admitted that they are truly PASSIONATE.  And WHEN that result was dissected, it showed that many, if NOT most, of us DON'T know how to pursue our passion and thus we fail to do so.  How do we fix that kind of conundrum?  That's the question I got fixated for quite sometime back📌📌📌

Research on PASSION suggests that we need to understand that PASSION is NOT something one finds BUT rather, it is something to be developed.  And without leveraging on hyperbole, PASSION is something we need to embrace with NO preconditions, NO IFs, NO BUTs.  Once we do have this unconditional commitment to our own PASSION, we got to be wary that in our everyday life, it is challenging to pursue our PASSION for a big chunk of our lives💦💦💦

Oh YES, a common crack we often stumble is that common misperception we have about PASSION being a FIXED one.  You either have PASSION for something OR you DON'T.  The problem with that belief is that it is limiting, leading us to think of PASSION as something we discover OR happen upon.  As a result, we may try many different jobs looking for the 'right fit', the role that instantly flips the PASSION switch, and we may NOT take into account the fact that it often takes time to develop one's PASSION, whatever it may be❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Allow me to share how I tackled this PASSION thing in the past.  I challenged my previous [wrong] assumption that PASSION has to be discovered.  Instead, I realized that PASSION has to be developed.  It is NEVER an overnight thing, NEVER a genie straight from the bottle.  So, IS IT HARD TO FOLLOW OUR PASSION???

Silent Walking, Anyone?

 

With the proliferation of smart gadgets and the endless creeping of technology into our lives, we CAN'T be blamed if we're constantly hogtied to technology itself.  First off, obviously in school or at work, we're wired and off hours, either going to the gym OR for a walk, HOW often do we see people SILENTLY WALKING devoid of any gadgets, ear pods OR ear phones?  Very really, if at all.  Blame it on Apple OR Samsung for even peddling the 'health buff' functionalities of their gadgets so that every metrics from steps to heartbeat etc are tracked📗📙📘

And WHILE I am NOT an expert in health OR fitness, it's kind of concerning WHEN, in the course of my walks, I would stumble across people with audio obviously enabled during their walks.  BUT for obvious reasons, as per this poster, it's NOT the best way to go.  Moreover, experts all sing in unison that SILENT WALKING, at its core, it is about "CLEARING ONE'S MIND" and going for a walk alone, free of distractions💥💥💥

In simple, layman's terms, we are egged to go for SILENT WALKING as it is one of the easy ways to disconnect ourselves from all the noise and chaos that is already part of our busy world.  Simply put, it is even the excellent way to connect to our "core selves".  And by removing distractions during that SILENT WALKING, it will enable us to become more aware of our inner and outer environment, and that includes NOT just hearing the chirping of the birds BUT appreciating it💚💛💜

Recent studies show results that rates of anxiety and depression have risen dramatically since the beginning of that recent Covid-19 Pandemic and increasing numbers are, in fact, seeking natural, integrative approaches to improve their mental health.  SO, probably, the $64 question is:  HOW do we do SILENT WALKING?  NOT to reinvent the wheel, experts advise us to walk in nearby, quite areas, hopefully somewhere in nature OR outdoors and it's also best to pick a time WHEN you know there will be minimal people OR activity around that area to distract you❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  To share my insights every since I embraced focused WALKING since January 2nd of 2024, I take preemptive measures like taking care of my bodily needs such as thirst OR hunger beforehand so that they DON'T become distractions.  And during those SILENT WALKS, I would focus on my thoughts, my feelings, my mind, then breathing and appreciating with gratitude WHEN the sun kisses my skin, turning those moments as the best times for my self-reflections.  For those living in the middle of highly urbanized areas, you can still engage in SILENT WALKING as the environment NEED NOT necessarily be silent BUT it's you WHO should be.  SILENT WALKING will lead you to more intangibles than tangible benefits BUT it sums up to a WIN-WIN proposition for you.  Try SILENT WALKING dude😍😍😍

See Through The Lens: KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

See Through The Lens:  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

See Through The Lens:  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS.  When I was still in school, I barely thought about OR talked about my STRENGTHS.  WHILE I vaguely knew I was good at certain things, I avoided exploring and articulating my strengths.  I then feared that I might sound like I was bragging OR somehow implying that I was better than others if I did.  Sadly, I let that fear get the best of me for the longest time.  It WASN'T until long after I had graduated from university that I learned that the ability to name, claim and aim your STRENGTHS is an essential skill to thrive in today's workforce.  You might ask me, could I have avoided committing those mistakes?  Certainly dude📗📙📘

For so many reasons, it is beneficial for us to be focusing on our own STRENGTHS now, rather than later.  First and foremost, knowing your STRENGTHS will help you identify opportunities that would be a good fit for you.  One of the best ways to determine the next steps in our life journey is to first understand WHO you are, WHICH then includes reflecting on your STRENGTHS.  The better you know your natural talents, the more you can draw from them to search for and identify opportunities that will give you the chance to do WHAT you do best everyday, so you can then turn your raw talents into matured STRENGTHS and live up to your potential💧💧💧

Over to the job market, learning HOW to showcase your STRENGTHS in a resume, cover letter or interview, you can demonstrate your value to recruiters and show them NOT only your fitness BUT your readiness to tackle on that job opportunity you're angling😗😗😗

Let's look at this WHAT IF.  WHAT IF you tend to be underrating yourself?  Psychologists covered this in their research and results show that this gives rise to two common distortions in one's behavior.  THAT's overdoing and underdoing.  In the past, I came across an executive WHO was worried he lacked authority [even though he was a naturally commanding person].  So, he poured it on and was perceived by his team members as one WHO seemed overpowering❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let us be aware and wary that there is a very thin demarcation line where we end up understating OR overstating our STRENGTHS.  Once you underrate yourself in a given aspect, you are likely creating a void caused by that underrating.  WHEREAS if you overdo things beyond your validated STRENGTH, you may likely flop.  SO HOW?  Be 'SPOT ON' to know your STRENGTHs❗❗❗

That GIGO Effect!

That GIGO Effect!

GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT.  This phrase originated in the computer world.  I remember sometime back, together with my DB Team, we spent sleepless nights [that's besides the long days] cleansing data WHICH were 'garbage' [and by the time we confirmed it was GARBAGE, it was too little too late].  All along in the technology space, when we kept harping on GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT, it was about That GIGO Effect📗📙📘

Swinging over to the fast lane, to our daily lives, are we witnessing GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT?  Those instances could be cranking up to zillion times I guess.  Starting from our school days, it's so obvious WHY our parents wanted all along to send us to the good and possibly best schools [of course, to schools their war chest can align.  Not schools in the Ivy League for most of us].  And WHY did our parents frown when sometimes we're friends to people NOT much to their liking💥💥💥

As we get into the groove towards adulthood, WHEN we have unshackled ourselves away from our parents, WHEN we're very much on our own, we would then realize the relevance of that very old but heavily quoted one-liner:  BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER.  Before you know it, if you're a huge fun of clubbing, WHO else will you spend time with?  And if you're a smoker, do you expect to spend time with a bookworm😄😄😄

As you gradually build your habits and persona, before you know it, you would realize that YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE, that WHATEVER you embraced would end up as a huge influence in your evolving persona, that your developing discipline is now becoming WHAT is you at the moment.  You might ask, can I undo things so that I DON'T end up with GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT???

Our takeaway:  In life, we can likely avoid seeing OR having garbage as an output in our life.  BUT as the Singaporean would ask, SO HOW?  It all starts up front when data is being collected and before it gets churned out.  GO BACK TO BASICs.  Trace those 'bad stuff'  WHERE it is emanating, WHAT's causing OR triggering it.  And rectify that 'bad stuff' ASAP.  Avoid blurting excuses and alibis because by then, it might be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE❗❗❗

Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!

Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!

Has anyone been into that situation WHEREIN anything you touch seems to crumble?  YES, donkey years ago, I had given it my all, name it, late nights, relentless planning, endless cups of coffee.  YET, the more I tried to control myself during those times, the more I felt stalled and stagnant.  Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!  True, many of us [and that includes me sometime in the distant past] are OR were CONTROL FREAKS.  BUT NOT to defend the guilty, feeling the need to be in CONTROL is natural.  It is WHEN we try to CONTROL everything that we create unnecessary stress and anxiety that can hold us back.  It's important to realize that we can never control everything.  Trying to do that would lead us to many negative emotions WHEN things DON'T go exactly HOW we try to force them📘📙📗

BUT let's admit it, letting go of CONTROL ISN'T always that easy.  In fact, it's damn tough especially when we face uncertainties in life.  BUT let's get to the bottom of things, that letting go of CONTROL can actually help bring a greater sense of peace.  Add on to that, releasing the things you truly CAN'T CONTROL can give you more time and energy to focus on the things that you can.  My analogy here is in the corporate world.  WHY did BPO services sprout?  It's because companies want to focus and CONTROL operations of their core business💥💥💥

So, this question still bothers me.  WHY do we need the feel to CONTROL?  Thing is, the desire to be able to CONTROL our surroundings and circumstances is ingrained into our consciousness.  This is because the more we know about our world, the safer we feel.  On the other hand, the less we know, the more scared we feel.  The need to CONTROL is directly rooted in fear, specifically that FEAR of WHAT might happen outside our CONTROL.  Digging up for the possible root causes of this CONTROL freakiness, anxiety and past trauma are common causes.  People WHO experience anxiety often have a very difficult time tolerating uncertainty.  They may worry more about future events and ruminate over situations they cannot CONTROL💦💦💦

Psychologists even advise us that sheer attempts to CONTROL does negatively, affect our lives.  It may be natural to want to CONTROL things BUT that DOESN'T make it healthy.  In fact, their studies show that there are many ways in which trying to CONTROL everything could, in the end, backfire in the long run.  Their studies showed that people WHO try to CONTROL everything may even experience more stress and anxiety than those WHO DON'T.  People tend to feel more upset WHEN they feel like they cannot CONTROL the sources of stress in their life.  However, it is the perception of CONTROL that has a major effect on HOW people respond to aversive situations.  That becomes the acid test we need to hurdle😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Let's put things this way.  Many times in our life, we end up dissatisfied because of our feeling for that need to CONTROL and NOT having it, we end up dissatisfied.  Perceived CONTROL can play an important role in overall happiness.  People WHO have high levels of perceived CONTROL can play an important role  in one's overall happiness.  Because there is NO way to CONTROL everything in life, caring too much about HOW things outside your CONTROL are going can lead to increased criticism about everything that happens.  After all, WHEN you DON'T CONTROL the outcomes you want to, it makes sense that you DON'T like them.  In turn, being more critical can make us more neurotic, leading us to that unending and spiraling cycle in WHICH we get progressively unhappier with our lives.  Can we CONTROL LESS, and MOVE FORWARD MORE❗❗❗

It's NOT What You Gather. It's What You Scatter.

It's NOT What You Gather.  It's What You Scatter.

Are you feeling like your life is passing by and you're NOT making the most of it?  Do you wonder if there is something more?  Have you asked yourself, IS THIS REALLY ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?  YES, these are normal thoughts.  BUT if you want to try to get the most of your life, WHAT does it mean WHEN we hear:  It's NOT What You Gather.  It's What You Scatter.  So, WHAT does it mean WHEN we hear that IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER that matters???

IF we ask a million people HOW to live life to the fullest, we could get a million iterations.  For some, it might be raising a family.  For many, it could be having a successful career.  For others, it could be acquiring properties here and there.  WHAT's common amongst all these possible iterations is that each one involves finding MEANING or PURPOSE in WHAT one is doing OR HOW one is spending their time, the life is one that is exciting OR fulfilling for the individual.  IF we are NOT living our life to the fullest, then we're generally feeling dissatisfied with the lack of meaning OR purpose that we are getting from our daily life.  Maybe we DON'T find satisfaction in our daily job.  OR maybe we've been having that UNLI access to social media only to realize that you seem to have wasted time💙💚💛

So, WHATEVER our particular situation is, our life may feel dull, unsatisfying OR uninspiring.  So, before we get buried with all these negativities, can we instead swamp ourselves with everything that's positive.  Can we be thriving, prospering, feeling fulfilled, happy, satisfied, enjoying our own selves, savoring life, relishing life, and delighting in life.  So HOW?  Experts are giving us a very simple YET practical advice and that's for us to FILL UP OUR LIFE WITH THINGS THAT MAKE US HAPPY💧💧💧

According to research, positive emotions may have a big influence on HOW full and meaningful our life feels.  Studies showed that positive emotions experienced in a given day would contribute to a greater sense of meaning that day.  This suggests that we can live our lives to the fullest by making sure that we do fun, exciting OR positive activities daily.  In fact, experts tell us that prioritizing positive activities has been shown in research studies to be linked with greater life satisfaction, more positive emotions and conversely, fewer negative emotions😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  I would volunteer myself as a case study here.  WHILE I may NOT as successful as the business moguls and magnates, deep within, I have that sense of fulfillment because I can rightfully claim that at least for five families, their lives today are 10x better off than 10 years ago and more importantly, till to date, the trajectory of their lives remain on the uptick [and easily for the foreseeable future].  So, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER.  IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER, dude❗❗❗

Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE? Really?

Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE?  Really?

Mom says, teacher says, my mentor says, my counsellor says that I Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE.   Really? YES it's true, DISCIPLINE is a key factor in enhancing our productivity as it helps maintain focus, establishes routines, and even ensures tasks are completed consistently.  YES, with DISCIPLINE, individuals can overcome distractions, meet deadlines and stay committed to their goals📗📙📘

Before we all go down the drain in one fell swoop, let's agree here that PRODUCTIVITY simply refers to efficiency.  It depicts the effectiveness in the method of getting a task done and NOT the effectiveness of the task itself.  PRODUCTIVITY is commonly linked to the principle of resource maximization, mostly in terms of time, effort and cost.  This implies that a more PRODUCTIVE individual gets things done faster in a more seamless manner💦💦💦

With my humble sharing from my experiences, I would be quite firm to say that PRODUCTIVITY as a concept is as much a human trait as any other individual trait such as honesty, humility, etc.  Hence, that vice and virtue nature of any human trait as determined by the cause and/or goal to WHICH the trait is exhibited is also applicable to PRODUCTIVITY.  As such, PRODUCTIVITY is susceptible to both positive and negative application✅✅✅

Instead, HOW many of us is aware of the ABCDE Method WHEREIN tasks are tagged as either A [very important], B [important], C [Nice to do], D [delegate] OR E [eliminate].  As things get more complicated, we need to be aware that PRODUCTIVITY can be described in various forms.  Depending on the context, PRODUCTIVITY can be considered as a continuous process😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Being PRODUCTIVE is NOT being merely DISCIPLINED.  Instead, this all boils down to us, to love WHAT we do.  Without that burning fervor to tackle a task OR activity, no amount of DISCIPLINE can boost our PRODUCTIVITY levels because the latter boils down to efficiency.  You can be DISCIPLINED but if your task execution is either sloppy OR NOT the optimal way, then your PRODUCTIVITY will continue to dip.  So, YES, you got to be DISCIPLINED but you got to be EFFICIENT to be PRODUCTIVE💙💛💚

Should We Forget About Plan B?

Should We Forget About Plan B?

For the longest time, since childhood and even as we speak now, we were all taught and schooled that in life, we got to always have a Plan B?  BUT here's the thing, for the past donkey years I have managed projects even of the most complex magnitude, I'll admit that NOT ONCE did we ever plotted for a Plan B [as part of our program/project management best practices.  So, here's the question:  Should We Forget About Plan B???

YES, most of us would agree that it really makes sense to have a backup plan.  Events NEVER unfold exactly as expected and it makes sense to prepare for contingencies.  BUT a recent study will surprise [or SHOCK us all].  The research showed that just thinking about your backup plan reduces your chances for success.  The research was executed clinically as one group was asked to simply perform a task WHEREAS the other group was asked to think about WHAT they would do if they DIDN'T succeed before starting.  In that research, the group WHO thought of a Plan B were LESS successful.  That became the basis for the researchers to conclude that crafting a backup plan can indeed have harmful effects in our pursuit of our goals OR plan[s].  I believe this is NOT even debatable because this happens in our real life💧💧💧

You might retort, DOES THIS MEAN WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MULTIPLE PLANS?  Probably NOT.  Sometimes, a particular activity may have different outcomes for WHICH it is only prudent to plan in detail [including a Plan B].  A classic example is a 'Garden Wedding' WHERE you need to have an 'INDOOR' wedding as a Plan B in case of rains and downpour.  BUT beyond those life events, NOT everything in life appropriately deserves a Plan B💥💥💥

That Plan B remains practical and a good practice for activities like starting a business, accepting a new job offer.  In these cases, a high degree of personal commitment is essential for one to succeed.  I remember in some history facts, military commanders burned bridges after crossing them OR even sunk boats that carried them to their destination.  That proved that retreat was NOT an option for that attacking force❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  This is a no-brainer for me because long time back WHEN I took that quantum leap to fly to Singapore, I resigned from my job at that time [and even sold my car before I departed].  Just a solid proof that I NEVER entertained any thoughts that I'll fail in my new pursuit and I had to come back [OR retreat, to borrow the army jargon].  So, SHOULD WE FORGET ABOUT PLAN B?  YES please, except for the practical situations where a Plan B is a must😌😌😌

Those Tides Of Change

 Those Tides Of Change

Mankind has been so fortunate so as to be able to control so many things in life BUT EXCEPT  Those Tides Of Change.  Could be related to relationships, to one's career, to one's health OR even financials.  Let's agree if any of those areas in life are impacted by a change, we can feel the ramifications.  BUT alas, you're NOT alone there because I've been there many times and I did hit 'rock bottom' BUT it was NOT the end of it📗📙📘

And WHILE I confess I am not an SME in counselling with regard life's challenges, this six-letter word spelled C-O-P-I-N-G should be our 'guiding light' BUT here's the catch.  For COPING to be effective, it has to be translated in a concrete action in hundreds of ways.  First things first though, let's ACCEPT WHAT needs to be ACCEPTED.  ACCEPTANCE may sound like a buzz word and yet some reject ACCEPTANCE💧💧💧

Some people look at ACCEPTANCE as giving in BUT it's better to see it as coming to terms with HOW things are for now.  One scenario WHERE sometimes we're unconscious OR unaware is our pacing.  If you just recovered back from an illness or a medical procedure, you may NOT be able to do as much as you used to.  This can be hard to adjust to because we all lead busy lives.  Pacing yourself may actually help you do more rather than having a set back because you've done too much.  And that's WHEN one's support structure kicks in💥💥💥

True, it can be hard to ask for HELP especially if you think you're already a burden because of your condition.  Loved ones often want to help BUT they WON'T know HOW unless you tell them WHAT you need.  Try NOT to think 'if they really loved me they would know WHAT I need', our loved ones are NOT mind readers, after all.  And learning HOW to tell people if the support you're getting ISN'T the support you need❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHEN stress creeps in, that throws a monkey wrench in your system.  And since there's NO way to avoid stress, the least we need to do is to have a strategy for dealing with stress.  There may be times WHEN you find things hard to deal with.  Learn to recognize WHEN you are becoming stressed and have a strategy that you find helpful.  This can be anything that works for you, BUT some tips that often help are slowing down your breathing OR going somewhere to have that whiff of 'fresh air'.  Yes dude, handling those TIDES OF CHANGE is more important than we thought of😀😀😀