Thresholds In Our Life

Thresholds In Our Life

The past 2 to 3 years under that pandemic has forced us ALL to deal with unwanted change in many parts of our lives.  In addition to the practicalities of working [or NOT], raising kids, and maintaining our relationships under 'COVID CONDITIONS', practically all of us are feeling the deeper systemic challenges.  What do we do?  Never Ignore The Thresholds In Our Life💴💷💵

We tend to be sensing the broader context of racism, social inequality, climate disruption and even 'power plays' happening in our daily lives.  It's like our sensitivity to change has an added rawness that leads us to be feeling a bit more vulnerable to the 'seismic shifts' happening around us.  How we navigate these experiences well is a question most people seem to be asking in some form.  It's an important one because behind our immediate maneuverings through our less familiar daily lives, lie some deep uncertainties about what it means to be alive n these times.  WHICH tells us to Never Ignore The Thresholds In Our Life📗📙📘

The thing is, we can stretch our mental THRESHOLD, our psychological THRESHOLD, our pain THRESHOLD, our health THRESHOLD, our agony and sacrifice THRESHOLDS all rolled into one BUT whether your challenges involve navigating the molasses of depression, maintaining patience with a now too-familiar housemate OR figuring out just WHAT a meaningful response to CHANGE is, most of those issues call for a CHANGE.  A CHANGE in the way we handle THRESHOLDS in our life because that dictates the tempo.  Even our emotional resilience is shown when your actions follow your higher principles despite tje inner warning bells.  It's those moments when we should Never Ignore The Thresholds In Our Life📌📌📌

And whenever these calls are unheard, ignored OR unanswered, they remain as a test of our emotional resilience as it is a threat to the Thresholds In Our Life.  WHEN we're used to be awash with $$$$$ then days will come when the 'pipe has dried up', how's your THRESHOLD?  WHEN your family is confronted with overlapping challenges, how's your THRESHOLD?  WHEN you're in pain [for whatever reason], how's your THRESHOLD💎💎💎

This is how ALL-ENCOMPASSING all THRESHOLDS.  From carbs to emotions to financials to patience to physical, we just CAN'T and MUSTN'T ignore it regardless if they seem invincible OR incognito.  Emotional UPs and DOWNs are the staples of our daily life.  BUT never forget that we have EMOTIONAL THRESHOLDS.  And we CAN'T ignore those THRESHOLDS, NEVER as in NEVER❗❗❗ You got to deal with it❎❎❎

Do You ALWAYS Stand For What Is Right?

Do You ALWAYS Stand For What Is Right?

Do You ALWAYS Stand For What Is Right?  When we delve into blind spots, it becomes tricky because:

• There are things you know about yourself
• There are things others know about you

And for those things NOT known to us, those are the BLIND SPOTS, those things that are NOT known to us.  We got to figure this out if we intend to always STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT💴💷💵

Often, these BLIND SPOTS are biases we have unknowingly formed throughout our lives.  They typically originate from messages we do observe OR were taught WHEN growing up and have now internalized as adults.  BLIND SPOTS can, however, show up as 'microaggressions' based on someone's race, gender, age, education, religion, etc📗📙📘

Some samplings of 'microaggressions' are asking someone WHERE they are really from, asking brown o black people to explain if race still matters, OR gaslighting someone WHEN they share a difficult experience at work.  Becoming aware of our hidden BIASES is a critical first step towards change.  Once a NEGATIVE BIAS or BLIND SPOT surfaces and is explored, experts advise that it will be easier for us to see HOW it clashes with our self-perception OR our values📌📌📌

Indeed, SPEAKING UP is always a challenge BUT when you are doing so to point out someone else's BLIND SPOTS, it can become even more difficult.  That said, experts advise us to keep practicing this for us to get better.  And would you believe this?  According to studies, ninety percent of our decisions are either automatic OR unconscious.  This means that our BLIND SPOTS or UNCONSCIOUS BIASES show up regularly and they influence our behaviors OR even narrow our perspectives OR worse, even hamper our decision-making qualities and eventually, impact OR harm others.  This becomes challenging in the workplace where you manage people as it is imperative to develop the skills to recognize both your own and your peers' BLIND SPOTS to lead fairly [as a leader]❌❌❌

Our takeaway?  It's always challenging to kickstart things and communications experts advise that the easier way is to START A DIALOGUE.  It may be hard to speak up, especially WHEN one is inexperienced OR new to a role.  BUT the thing is, NO relationship should make you feel powerless.  We need to be conscious aware that you are entitled to share your views especially related to UNCONSCIOUS BIASES.  Then, lead the conversation with a sense of curiosity, NOT judgment and nudge them to do better.  And whenever articulating your observation, experts advise that we use the first-person ["I"] statements.  You CAN'T know whether someone will show gratitude OR resistance when you raise a red flag.  True, speaking up is tough and it takes courage, especially WHEN you're in the early stages of your career.  Bottom line is, WHEN YOU STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, make everyone feel heard and respected😄😄😄

What's Draining Your Energy?

What's Draining Your Energy?

What's DRAINING YOUR ENERGY?  Ironically, this is the shortest question ever that can be answered mile-long because there's an extremely long list of possibilities which can be DRAINING YOUR ENERGY.  And ironically, it can start with YOU yourself, way before you get up on your feet right when you wakeup.  Your mood, your mindset, your thinking, your habit formation, everything in you in fact and that saga that DRAINS YOUR ENERGY may probably end up only when you hit the sack in the evening, there you are snoring.  Even then, there are low-quality SLEEPS which, by itself, are DRAINING YOUR ENERGY even when asleep!@#$%?

So, what else is DRAINING YOUR ENERGY?  Again, it's a long long list BUT if we want to create a shortcut, it all comes down to a 5-letter word spelled H-A-B-I-T.  HABITS are the foundation of WHO we are as a person and even as a professional.  We are the product of our everyday HABITS and we choose everyday WHETHER we want to improve ourselves, maintain our excellence OR contribute to our very own discontent.  BUT first, we must be aware of our bad HABITS, so that we can take the necessary steps to change them📗📙📘

And would you believe, of all the BAD HABITS that's DRAINING YOUR ENERGY, topping the list is when we TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY!  When you attribute every interaction a person has with you to how they feel about you, it will be exhausting and more often than NOT it's NOT correct.  Chances are, it's NOT about you and you're NOT helping the situation by taking it personally.  NOT taking things personally will save you a lot of stress and your workplace a lot of needless strain📌📌📌

Second common culprit that drains our energy is HOLDING ON TO THE PAST.  The past is WHAT it is, there isn't utility to holding grudges OR being angry.  The only person you're impacting by holding on to the past is you.  So, LET THINGS GO, if NOT for them, then for you.  Another common culprit [which BTW is happening all over the place all the time] is ALWAYS CHECKING SOCIAL MEDIA & EMAILS.  If someone has to wait a couple of hours for an email, then they wait.  The world WON'T end anyways❎❎❎

Another culprit which we could be guilty of, is to CONSTANTLY WORRY.  Worrying does NOT solve a problem.  On the other hard, more often, worrying exacerbates a problem.  If something is way out of your hands, then it's out of your hands and there is simply NO point in worrying about it.  If there's something you can do about it, then stop worrying and take action.  Worrying is simply a waste of energy, focus on WHAT you can control.  So, WHAT ELSE IS DRANING YOUR ENERGY, dude❓❓❓

Is Your PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS Tried & Tested?

Is Your PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS Tried & Tested?

PROBLEM SOLVING?  WHAT a boring topic. is it?  Is Your PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS Tried & Tested? For most, I guess so BUT for some of us, I'll speculate that some of us may need some guidance into the foundational aspect because the ability to solve problems is a basic life skill and is obviously essential to our day-to-day lives whether it's at home, at school, OR at work.  WHY?  Because we got to solve problems every day in our life, that's it💵💴💷

One thing about problem-solving is the misconception that there is only one solution to every problem.  That is TOTALLY OFFTRACK because there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL.  Let's have the simplest example here wherein you want to go to the store but it's raining.  WHAT do you do?  You can opt for an umbrella, OR drive, OR take the bus, OR call a friend OR call for Grab Delivery OR put off the plan till the rain finally stops.  In short, there is NO right way to solve this problem and very obviously, different people will solve a problem differently📗📙📘

So, WHY don't we go back to basics here.  WHY is problem solving that important?  Good problem solving skills will empower you NOT only in your personal life BUT are critical in your professional life.  And in the current fast-changing global economy, employers may often identify everyday problem solving as crucial to the success of their organizations.  On the other hand, for employees, problem solving can be used to develop practical and creative solutions, and to show independence and initiative.  Good enough for us, as there are many skills involved in problem solving, our accumulated experience and the necessary combinations of skills would be key to solve problems😑😑😑

Setting aside problem solving skills, the ATTITUDE to problems do play a significant role in solving problems.  In the simplest terms, we need to leverage on the combination of our best qualities, depth of experience and breadth of knowledge.  If we feel either our experiences OR knowledge needs to be beefed up, that should NOT be a show-stopper.  Instead, let us develop approaches to go into UNCERTAINTY❎❎❎

Our takeaway today?  WHEN you think that you DON'T know how to proceed in solving the problem at hand, it DOESN'T mean that you DON'T know how but simply put, it means that it's time to look for answers to your questions.  In a nutshell, let us endeavor to get the most knowledge from your own and other people's experiences as well so that you are able to broaden your horizons, develop and enhance your thinking, and thereafter apply your knowledge.  So, if your problem solving has NOT been TRIED & TESTED yet, do TRY and TEST it at the earliest opportunity❗❗❗

Getting TIRED So Easily?

Getting TIRED So Easily?

Oooops, gents, this is NOT  a medical bulletin.  Instead, we'd like to tackle that FATIGUE syndrome purely from a layman's perspective.  So, are you Getting TIRED So Easily?  To quote medical experts, there are multiple causes [we'll get into that shortly] and ALWAYS topping that list is INSUFFICIENT SLEEP [which we all know I guess].  And while the recommended nightly sleeping hours for adults range from seven to nine, if I will seriously take care of my health, I'll go for the minimum 9 hours [instead of compromising by getting pegged to 7 hours📘📗📙

Of course, one's situation gets challenging if one is experiencing insomnia because that has to be treated, including the need to address underlying medical conditions.  The next common culprit are nutrient deficiencies.  So, even if you're getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep, that does NOT shield you from getting tired so easily if you have nutrients deficiencies💴💷💵

Now, for the low-hanging fruit.  S-T-R-E-S-S gets into the picture.  Oh Oh, before I get wacked, medical experts advise that some level of STRESS is normal.  WHO doesn't get stressed anyways.  BUT chronic STRESS is the thing because that will lead to fatigue.  In fact, experts say that chronic STRESS may lead to STRESS-related exhaustion disorder [ED], a medical condition characterized by psychological and physical symptoms of exhaustion.  Worse, chronic stress may cause changes in your brain, leading to chronic inflammation, that leads to FATIGUE❎❎❎

A third factor points to underlying medical conditions [e.g. sleep apnea, etc].  Getting proper treatment for an underlying medical condition can help you feel better and even improve other areas of health as well.  Now, this is a real low-hanging fruit where we DON'T need medical experts.  POOR DIET.  This significantly affects the way you feel❌❌❌

And I have to quote medical experts here.  To maintain energy and get the NUTRIENTS your body needs to perform critical processes, it is important to consume a balanced diet high in nutrient-dense foods.  WHEN you DON'T obtain enough calories and NUTRIENTS like protein, your body breaks down fat and muscle to meet your ENERGY DEMANDS.  Then, this leads to losing body fat and muscle mass  which may then trigger FATIGUE.  Our takeaway?  DON'T get surprised WHY you're getting TIRED SO EASILY😌😌😌

Can You Prime Yourself For OPTIMISM?

Can You Prime Yourself For OPTIMISM?

Some of us find it easier to adopt to a POSITIVE attitude than others, which then influences how they respond to life's setbacks.  So, Can You Prime Yourself For OPTIMISM?  While an OPTIMIST with a POSITIVE mindset can face a problem as a minor inconvenience [as that allows him to remain calm and take appropriate action in a firm manner, a pessimist can simply feel HELPLESS💴💷💵

That HUGE difference in how an OPTIMIST versus a PESSIMIST will respond to events and challenges in our lives matters directly for our happiness and health.  WHEN we have more optimistic mindsets, we are better able to buffer the effects of common daily life stressors and still remain feeling happy.  One study showed that OPTIMISM is healthy for us as people ages 40 to 90 tended to live longer if they were more OPTIMISTIC, even if we take into account other factors like their diet, smoking, and alcohol use, depression and health📗📙📘

Now, for those struggling to find the silver lining, studies are giving us bright horizons ahead.  HOW?  Experts advise that we need to REFRAME STRESSORS.  While stress is unavoidable when we all experience all those daily hassles, we CAN'T eliminate all the stress because we can choose HOW we think about the challenges we face and adopt a new, more positive mindset around them.  True, some of us can be optimistic in the most natural way.  WHY?  Because they go through life seeing the positive even in challenging situations✅✅✅

In case POSITIVE REFRAMING doesn't come naturally to you, endeavor to start by trying to focus on WHAT's good about your daily life STRESSORS instead of WHAT's bad about them.  Like when getting stuck in traffic gridlock, take that time to look out the window, appreciate nature and the environment.  That's akin to the half glass seen by the OPTIMIST as half-full while the PESSIMIST sees it as half-empty😃😃😃

Segundo, this is quite easier said than done.  Try to practice SELF-COMPASSION.  While some people have the tendency to beat themselves up WHEN things DON'T go their way, which, NOT surprisingly DOESN'T make them feel better, let's try to shift our mindset in a more POSITIVE direction.  Our takeaway today?  Give ourselves a break.  If the skies and clouds are gloomy, be thankful because the weather is less hot.  WHEN you missed to achieved a sales target, LEARN LESSONS and polish your sales pitch skills.  It's NOT the end of the world after all.  So, CAN YOU PRIME YOURSELF FOR OPTIMISM?  Absolutely dude❗❗❗

Is Breaking Bad Habits That Hard?

Is Breaking Bad Habits That Hard?

The Apple company says that the iPhone is less than two decades old.  Yet the psychology behind WHY it is so hard to put your phone down has been understood for almost a century I guess.  Apparently, there is a purported LAW OF EFFECT which states that REWARDED ACTIONS TEND TO INCREASE.  Does this explain why  Breaking Bad Habits That Hard❓❓❓

Apparently, conventional wisdom dictates that if you know something is bad for you, WHY can't you just stop?  Studies show that about 70% of smokers say they would like to quit.  Meanwhile, drug and alcohol abusers struggle to give up addictions that hurt their bodies and even tear apart families and even relationships and friendships.  And we have to admit that many of us have unhealthy excess weight that we could lose IF only we would eat right and exercise more.  So, WHAT's going on?  Scientists have been searching for the right answers [because previous answers didn't seem right] and they studied WHAT happens in our brains as habits form📗📙📘

They have found clues as to WHY bad habits, once established, are so difficult to kick [OUT].  Sadly, various studies show that as much as rats get rewarded with food when it pushes a lever and they tend to push the lever more often, every time we check our phones and get a viscerally rewarding stimulus, it strengthens our habit of phone-checking.  Given that proven relationship, probably a reasonable assumption would be that the more consistently an action is rewarded, the more durable the behavior will be✅✅✅

Yes we might expect that a rat that gets a pellet every time it pushes a lever would push the lever consistently, we can probably assume as well that a 'burst of entertainment' every time we open our phones ought to make us thoroughly obsessed with them.  BUT psychologists warned that unpredictable rewards tend to result in far more durable behavior.  And the rat that only sometimes gets a food pellet will persist in pushing the lever long after the machine stops dispensing pellets❌❌❌

Studies tell us that habits can rise through repetition.  And they are a normal part of life and are often helpful.  We can drive along familiar routes on 'mental auto-pilot' without really thinking about the directions.  And when behaviors become automatic, it gives us an advantage because our brain does NOT have to use conscious thought to perform the activity.  Our takeaway today? YES WE CAN BREAK BAD HABITS❗❗❗ 

What Else Is Missing? Some Needed Juice?

What Else Is Missing?  Some Needed Juice?

What Else Is Missing?  Some Needed Juice?  It's a Monday, your alarm buzzes, you hit snooze two or three times until, finally, you knew you'll breach your threshold so you rise up with the unimaginable struggle we are all familiar with.  You rushed up everything.  Here you are driving through the same old narrative of traffic gridlock and as early as that time, while driving, you felt drained and zapped already.  WHAT❓❓❓

Come next day, it's the same vicious cycle you will go through [for the umpteenth time].  There you are.  seemingly feeling miserable over and over again?  At work, you seem to go through the motions, then taking your lunch, then grind for the afternoon work then by end of day, there you are about to drive again for the next two hours and by the time you reach home, it's like deja vu.  WHAT you felt early morning, being drained and zapped, you felt the same things again by the time you reached home.  WHAT else is left for you to engage your family when you reach home?  I guess you're NOT even a shadow of WHAT you are.  Mentally, physically, emotionally absent❎❎❎

At that point, if I may guess, you're still waiting for HAPPINESS.  And that was what, 10m years ago?  That time, you were waiting for something to happen for things to get better.  SURPRISE?  That NOTHING happened at all?  Then you confront yourself.  You've done all the things society taught you.  To study, to get good grades, find a job and be happy at work, then be happy in life✅✅✅

Problem is, you are NOT happy.  And I could sense something is missing.  Now how long, if at all, will you get out of that miserable life and be HAPPY?  Now, before we run a full circle back, we would hear often times that, first and foremost, we need to find and earn money.  Then, everything follows!@#$%?  Even so, I would even ask myself now, IS IT REALLY MONEY that we need to achieve?  In order for us to achieve HAPPINESS?  And when you look around those monied folks, they ain't HAPPY, right❓❓❓

So, HAPPINESS comes from work?  We are confused by making money to gain freedom and happiness.  And if you are trying to find freedom, focusing on money is an important goal.  BUT if you are trying to find HAPPINESS, focusing on money is NOT the most important goal.  Because psychologists claim that the most important goal is WORK.  Why does Elon Musk still work 15 hours a day till now?  It's because he LOVES work and that keeps him HAPPY.  How would you feel going on vacation whole year?  WHAT's our takeaway?  Figure out the very root that will make you happy [and that's NOT money]❗❗❗

When Do You Start With The NEGATIVITIES?

When Do You Start With The NEGATIVITIES?

How often do you find yourself getting bogged down by NEGATIVE thoughts that seem to literally TAKE OVER your mind, no matter HOW optimistic your circumstances seem?  MAYBE you're constantly worrying about the "WHAT IFs" OR start feeling anxious about the possibility of something bad happening, even WHEN there is NO real reason for you to feel that way.  So, When Do You Start With The NEGATIVITIES? And if you're constantly defaulting to NEGATIVE conclusions, there is that probability that you may be suffering from NEGATIVE thinking patterns in your thought process.  Now, can we consider what experts advise that from their studies, NEGATIVE thinking is a survival technique💵💴💷

Thing is, there are always two sides to a story.  And the first one is so damn generic and popular that we sometimes forget about the second one.  POSITIVE and NEGATIVE are two faces of a coin.  And each one is equally important.  You just need to use your brain cells and allow them to work in your favor.  BUT if you are confused now, it's NOT your fault because the overthinking brain thinks a lot of 'crap'📗📙📘

Time and again, WHAT we always focus on WHAT we want to become.  WHAT we have to achieve.  The focus is always on the wants, the needs, the desires.  And it should be.  And if your desire to achieve something is strong enough, you will get whatever you work for.  BUT some people DON'T know WHAT they want with their life,  Quite some only have a vague and faint idea and if you ask them to be specific enough, bluntly, some are as 'clear as mud'📌📌📌

WHAT gets glossed over by many of us is that the lack of clarity creates an obvious delay in our SUCCESS [if we are to succeed in the first place].  It's because clarity and routine are so freaking important.  Without it, you would just end up like wandering here and there.  So, the bottom line here is that if you DON'T know WHAT you want to be, make a list of WHAT you DON'T want to be.  MAKES SENSE?  In the simplest terms, if you DON'T know what you want, then, you got to figure out what you DON'T want in the first place.  BUT be cautioned with what experts call COGNITIVE distortions❌❌❌

Topping the list of COGNITIVE distortions is the ALL-or-NOTHING THINKING.  Seeing things as black OR white, with NO shades of grey.  So, when things are NOT perfect, you would see them as FAILURE.  Sometimes, we tend to over-generalize.  When something happens, you would blurt out 'THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME'.  So, if nothing POSITIVE comes out, yes, you got to drill down the NEGATIVITIES✅✅✅

BTW, What's Your STANDARDS

BTW, What's Your STANDARDS

Famous American author and coach TONY ROBBINS is one of the most vociferous advocates for us to raise our own STANDARDS.  And he goes farther with this huge ASK:  ARE YOUR BELIEFS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM THE LIFE YOU DESERVE?  So, this brings our feet back to the ground and ask ourselves, BTW, What's Your STANDARDS❓❓❓

I'll throw this [quite] irritating question.  How often have you heard these curt statements.  I SHOULD lose weight.  I SHOULD be more confident.  I SHOULD be financially stable.  I SHOULD ensure I meet all expectations both at work and at home.  So, indeed, people have an endless list of things they believe they SHOULD do OR SHOULD follow through📗📙📘

And all these "SHOULDs" seem to carry about the same weight as a New Year's resolution [oh, oh, how many times we heard that, albeit annually?].  Then, with all the "SHOULDs', things seem to be that exciting UNTIL disappointment creeps in because, all along, you knew VERY WELL that that was NOT going to happen anyway📌📌📌

BUT, then, WHAT happens WHEN you decide something is an absolute "MUST"?  What happens WHEN you cut off any other possibility than you succeeding, WHEN you upgrade your STANDARDS and decide that you will never settle for less?  And WHEN you raise your STANDARD for your life and turn "SHOULDs" into "MUSTs", you are making an inner shift to take control over the QUALITY of your life.  Only WHEN you decide to accept nothing less than your ultimate goals will you achieve them✅✅✅

WHERE do we go from here?  Primero, determine WHERE to raise the STANDARD.  Most of us have the numerous areas of life WHERE we could raise our standards.  According to Tony Robbins, the three most common are creating healthy relationships, finding a fulfilling career path and improving our health.  Our takeaway today:  Let us FOCUS to raise our STANDARDS in the areas of OUR relationship, OUR career and OUR health❗❗❗