'NO MAN IS AN ISLAND' - John Donne

'NO MAN IS AN ISLAND' - John Donne

Till to date, this is the shortest quote with the longest meaning embedded in my lifetime, THAT 'NO MAN IS AN ISLAND' [by John Donne].  True, we meet PEOPLE, we meet strangers, and then, some friends WHO bring out the best in us and splash a palette of colors in an otherwise [sometimes] monotonous black-and-white life.  BTW, WHO we are and WHAT we become CAN'T be a one-man effort.  Everyone in our lives holds a stake in turning us into the person we are.  Their thoughts, their outlook in life, and their passion burns way beyond their own life💵💴💷

Let's face it, PEOPLE leave pieces of themselves in us just as we do in them.  We are all the PEOPLE we've met and all the people we've lost.  We are all the EXES that loved us and all the crushes that DIDN'T.  We are all the PEOPLE who are still in our lives and the PEOPLE who have left though.  It's just a tragedy that love DOESN'T reign every time📗📙📘

BUT it's a bigger tragedy WHEN we erase PEOPLE from our lives and pretend like they DON'T exist anymore.  We've always heard that we're supposed to let someone go totally.  That will NEVER heal if they're still around anyways.  Heck, even if someone says that it has run its full course, it's time for us to let it go📌📌📌

BUT we need to realize that LETTING GO does NOT always necessarily mean forgetting OR erasing that person because we CAN'T.  Indeed, it's heartbreaking to leave OR to be left.  That aching feeling WHEN you learn that your love was unrequited love OR that a shared moment with another person could NOT amount to anything more, leaves you feeling so empty and numb, maybe.  One second you're head over heels with them as they sit across the dinner table.  Next thing you know, you're wondering IF that was the last moment you shared with them ❗❗❗

Indeed, this is a thought-provoking topic to cover BUT let's never push ourselves in a cocoon OR a cave just because you've got everything in life.  THAT does NOT guarantee the status quo in life because, knock on wood, one day, you will need someone next to you.  To quote John Donne, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND❎❎❎

Is Dopamine Detox A Myth?

Is Dopamine Detox A Myth?

Is Dopamine Detox A Myth?  Before we go on with our thread today, let's align as to how Mr Google defined it.  It is the "process that involves fasting from activities OR pleasures that produce DOPAMINE so that the drive for quick rewards decreases". So, let's dive into this with a caveat that there is NO scientific evidence to support the concept of a DOPAMINE DETOX📗📙📘

Those who attempt a DOPAMINE DETOX aim to detach themselves from everyday stimuli such as social media, sugar OR shopping.  They are replaced in favor of less impulsive habits and lifestyle choices.  The fast can last for a few hours OR even several days. We need to align that DOPAMINE DETOX is NOT a scientifically research approach and most benefits come from refraining from it📌📌📌

BTW, to be precise, the compulsive behaviors that can be targeted by DOPAMINE DETOX covers way beyond social media.  Emotional eating.  Gambling and excessive shopping.  Porn.  Thrill and novelty-seeking.  Even recreational drugs.  By fasting from these activities that trigger the brain's neurotransmitters, people become less dependent on the emotional 'hits' that DOPAMINE provides❌❌❌

Browsing through the net, I did stumble across some 'SUCCESS STORIES' detailing how they succeeded.  Topping the tricks is to GRAB A FRIEND or FAMILY member.  As they say, doing things alone is NOT only boring but also less effective.  Starting it by your lonesome has been proven to be hard BUT when we are with other people, we tend to encourage each other✅✅✅

Segundo, CHALLENGE YOURSELF.  This can go in hand with Number 1.  Challenge yourself initially with baby steps, like aiming for a 1-week DETOX.  Tercero, Just go random and TURN OFF your phone completely.  Most of the time, we're guilty because you would do 'RANDOM GLANCES'.  The BAD THING is that 'RANDOM GLANCE' can turn to hours.  Anyways, DOPAMINE DETOX IS NOT A MYTH❗❗❗

Stuck In Your Problems?

Stuck In Your Problems?

Who's NOT stuck with problems?  We're all in that same boat.  BUT what separates one from another one is that some of us are Stuck In Your Problems.  Have you ever felt frozen  [AS IF you can't seem to move forward n life?]?  Perhaps it's AS IF you CAN'T seem to move from a traumatic experience OR you just CAN'T tap into the the passion OR enthusiasm that once came so easily.  OR maybe you're UNMOTIVATED at work that you spend time fantasizing about 'getting away' somewhere you CAN'T quite name.  Whatever the cause is, you have NO idea WHAT to do next, WHAT change to make or WHAT specialist to consult.  I had that problem two months ago when my initial prostate ultrasound result showed something NOT quite normal.  Next thing I did, I was wasting no time to 'GOOGLE SEARCH' and imagine the millions of search results bannered at the top of the results telling me I got a few years to live, whew😌😌😌

So, indeed, it's natural for us in life to, at some point, to feel STUCK.  Our juice is meant to flow, so WHAT do we do WHEN no matter how hard we try to get more juice, it just seems to stagnate within us?  To answer that question, maybe it's worth considering what STUCK can look like at least on the physical level.  Through the years, I observed many people [quite up close] whose STUCKNESS developed in their soul long before it manifested in their bodies📘📗📙

We can also easily find ourselves STUCK psychologically often due to trauma.   Our brain feels as though it's in a loop sometimes because it actually is, that we've found a well-trodden neural pathway and dug in deep.  We seem to have a deep unconscious knowing that life is supposed to move.  This is WHAT makes it so obvious when things are NOT moving, even if we DON'T yet know what to do about it.  All life needs to MOVE.  The most effective people are the ones WHO accept this reality and even relish the challenges of overcoming the UNKNOWNS rather than struggling❎❎❎

So, where do we go from here if we're STUCK with a problem?  Primero, STOP ATTACKING THE SYMPTOMS.  Dig up for the root cause.  A broken process or a subtle quality issue can generate a flood of customer satisfaction problems, even cost overruns OR loss of market share.  The right first step for every issue is that old strategy of "ASK WHY 3 TIMES"❗❗❗

Segundo.  Search for the multiple dimensions of a problem.  DON'T oversimplify as most issues have a scope greater than one dimension.  Tercero, BUILD and EVALUATE a list of alternative solutions.  We are all prone to running with the initial solution that comes to mind, rather than comparing several to produce the best outcome.  Cuarto, BUILD MOTIVATION right from yourself.  Build that momentum for early SUCCESSES to come into fruition even if they are SMALL WINS.  Still STUCK IN YOUR PROBLEMS❓❓❓

Your NEXT MOVE Is What Matters

Your NEXT MOVE Is What Matters

You achieved an academic honor last semester.  You got promoted at work last year.  You bagged a big sales contract last quarter.  OR you won a decent LOTTO prize recently.  So, the question to you is WHAT MATTERS now? Your NEXT MOVE Is What Matters, that's all dude.  The thing is, many times in our life, we are tempted to relive the moments of the past, especially those memorable and pleasing memories.  We think about how we could have done something.  We overthink about it and let our present moment suffer the consequences.  WHY do we continue reliving the PAST when it's all gone?  HOW come it is hard to let go of the PAST when all we have from it is a piece of memory?  As we work on reaching our GOALS, we make different shots, attempts OR whatever you call it to try to achieve it as Your NEXT MOVE Is What Matters💴💷💵

And as we do that, some shots OR attempts might get us closer and some may NOT.  There could be NO regrets if we use the previous shot OR attempt to form the next shot OR attempt.  It would then be a learning progress.  And that is WHAT we want so we can be closer little by little.  IF only it was easy to always REFOCUS on the NEXT shot, then a lot of things could have been resolved.  BUT the thing is, that is NOT the reality.  Some problems give us a hard time refocusing on the next shot OR attempt📗📙📘

The thing is, some problems are different.  In fact, each problem is unique to itself.  BUT problems are part and parcel of our life.  It is a feedback on WHAT we should do next.  Let's try our best to REFOCUS on the next shot at our GOALS.  That is one of the progressive ways of doing it.  The past is gone.  That shot is gone and it missed📌📌📌

At hindsight, some of the things I did do [and still do till to date] were NOT easy ones.  Before I started blogging, I was quite hesitant to put out [and in writing at that] my thoughts and ideas.  I felt like "WHO AM I", I'm NOT even an expert in the first place.    Everything then was about curating other people's ideas and expertise and slowly over time.   I started to take little risks of putting my stories and ideas out there❌❌❌

So, WHAT have you found with people today that is inhibiting them from going after WHAT they want and making that NEXT MOVE?  One of the things is putting pressure on having that perfect solution lined up.  WHILE we should dream BIG, sometimes we need to make smaller moves to build confidence.  Our takeaway today is that, much as we had SUCCESS in the past, YOUR NEXT MOVE IS WHAT MATTERS [the most]❗❗❗

What's Your Biggest Battle?

What's Your Biggest Battle?

What's Your Biggest Battle?  NOT with your ex-spouse.  NOT with your nemesis.  NOT with your predator.  NOT even with your sworn enemy.  BUT the BIGGEST BATTLE you and I have is that one with ourself, yourself.  WHAT sets apart SUCCESSFUL people versus us, the typical John Doe?  They have that BRAVERY not in the absence of FEAR but it's their BRAVERY in overcoming FEAR.  According to the late Steve Jobs, SUCCESSFUL people excel at persevering while others would simply quit and give up.  In the shortest word, SUCCESSFUL people tend to be MENTALLY strong.  BUT hold on.  It DOESN'T mean they DON'T have those weak moments too📗📙📘

According to the great Serbian tennis champion, Novak Djokovic, who until today is ranked the #1 tennis player in the world, said that MENTAL STRENGTH is NOT a gift.  Instead, it's something that comes with work.  He even admitted that in those 'BIG' moments, like the U.S. and Wimbledon title runs, he may appear LOCKED IN but he's NOT❎❎❎

WHY?  Because, he admitted that there is a 'STORM INSIDE' [him] which he's battling.  He admits that while he's been a champion many times, he's just a HUMAN BEING and he admitted that the biggest difference between the guys WHO are able to be the biggest champions and the one struggling to get to the highest level is that ability to NOT stay in those emotions WAY TOO LONG📌📌📌

Which remains me of those STOICISMs where amongst others, it says that while you CAN'T CONTROL what happens to you, WHAT you can CONTROL is how you respond to it.  Like, instead of trying NOT to feel angry, scared, anxious OR disappointed [which, NO matter how hard you try, is damn impossible], the key is to RESET as quickly as you can, and do whatever you need to do to deal with WHAT caused that emotion❌❌❌

Let's take a leaf from Novak Djokovic's life lessons.  He says he starts with conscious breathing.  One deep breath.  Two.  As many as he can fit in before the next point.  Djokovic says DEEP BREATHs are the simplest and most effective way to RESET.  He then reflects on past SUCCESSES to build his confidence and belief.  Science research also shows that taking TWO INHALES and one LONG INHALE reduces CO2 levels , slows your heart rate, and leaves you feeling calmer, less tense and more focused.  Dude, we better know WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST BATTLE❗❗❗

Where Do We START [Again]?

Where Do We START [Again]?

When we get asked with this question as to Where Do We START [Again], this does NOT imply that you got to DUMP the life you are in right now, NO sirrrrssss.  This could mean you stick with the life situation you have now BUT on specific 'ACTIONABLE AREAS', you need to take drastic actions in order to significantly change or alter the 'TRAJECTORY' of your situation💵💴💷

STARTING AGAIN may mean opening a new chapter in your life.  Just to share, at some point in my past when I observed that my situation has plateaued, I then realized that that was an ignominious pattern that did NOT augur well from the perspective of my long-term GOALS.  What I did then was to START a NEW CHAPTER in my life when I took the risk of migrating to Singapore.  And as any risk offers both the upside and the downside, I assessed my situation then and came up with a concrete action plan because my 'TRAJECTORY' that time was NOT acceptable based on the standards I pre-set📗📙📘

Naysayers though, are EVERYWHERE.  You would hear them say , he's TOO OLD to run, TOO OLD to learn, TOO LATE to aim for it, TOO AVERAGE to be ambitious, and that goes on.  In short, even when you attempt for either a 'FRESH START' or a 'REBOOT' in your life, dark shadows will be lurking behind you, playing devil's advocate to let you do a U-turn❌❌❌

Now, if being compared with others is that inevitable, then it's fine.  BUT you got to realize that your 1st chapter ISN'T that comparable to someone else's chapter because of multifarious factors.  They probably started way ahead of you.  They were probably able to get the opportunity earlier than you.  OR they were just focused on that thing for many years than you❎❎❎

Sadly, when you start contemplating for either a RESTART or a REBOOT in life, likely, the previous phase or chapter has ended or is about to end with not so glowing results, and THAT'S FINE.  There is NO rule which tells us you CAN'T pickup the pieces and START ALL OVER AGAIN.  The worst thing is if you DON'T know where to START [again]❗❗❗

[Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?

 [Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?

[Despite NOT Wanting To FAIL], Why Do We Still FAIL?  What if we stay that FAILURE precedes SUCCESS?  Obviously, that will be debatable BUT this should NOT entail a hard push.  Let's look around at all the SUCCESSFUL people, they all failed before they succeeded.  I also humbly admit that I failed before I succeeded💴💵💷

We can rattle off the names of SUCCESSFUL people who FAILED miserably over and over again.  Bill Gates.  Elon Musk.  Steve Jobs.  There's a long list stretching by miles BUT in the shortest word, they transformed their FAILURES into SUCCESSES.  BTW, SUCCESS does NOT come to us the first time we try anything.  SUCCESS is the result of our mental strength to keep going at WHAT we desire till we get it right📗📙📘

When we are confronted with FAILURE, we tend to see all the NEGATIVEs associated with the FAILURE and the reaction 'others' will have with our FAILURE.  We completely overlook the benefits.  And IF we DON'T look at the POSITIVE aspects of FAILURE and if we DON'T change the way we look at our learnings, then our FAILURE may even potentially destroy us.  Now, let's dig up the most common triggers of FAILURE📌📌📌

Numero uno, we frequently fail because there is a HUGE GAP [a.k.a. MISMATCH] between your EXPECTATIONS versus the REALISTIC RESULT.  For simplicity, if during my younger years, I dreamed to be a pilot and as years passed, I never stopped dreaming to be a pilot until I realized I reached age 40 and still, I am working as a clerk or as a salesman.  At that point, I might tag myself then as a FAILURE because while I wanted to be a pilot, here I am, either a clerk or a salesman.  WHAT's our takeaway here?  There should be a VERY MINIMAL GAP between your EXPECTATION versus your CAPABILITY [to achieve that dream], ok❔❔❔

Segundo, sometimes we FAIL because FAILURE paralyses us.  Very often, we are so afraid of FAILING that we are NOT even willing to try.  As the old saying goes, 'TRYING and 'FAILING IS BETTER THAN NOT TRYING AT ALL'.  We should never be afraid to try.  The turtle can NEVER make progress if he does NOT stick his neck out.  There is always a reason that justifies INACTION.  We must NOT let our FEAR of FAILURE stop us❗❗❗

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?

Fixing PROCRASTINATION?  Well, we all know what PROCRASTINATION is, so we won't waste time defining it.  BUT rather than sulk on it, WON'T it make sense if we figure out the very common triggers of PROCRASTINATION?  As this is endemic and almost everyone of us [including moi several times in the past] do fall prey to it at various points.  Worst, for some of us, it's becoming a HABIT.  For others, it is a pesky behavior that shows up when we're tired, unmotivated OR simply burned out📗📙📘

Thing is, PROCRASTINATION can take many forms and it can stem from all sorts of underlying causes.  From my past debacles, I realized that the best way to overcome PROCRASTINATION is to CONFRONT its source.  So, what are those possible sources?  Numero uno, PERFECTIONISM.  I'll admit my 'mea culpa' here, many times I tend to be a perfectionist and that has caused my slippages a few times📌📌📌

This seems counter-intuitive because if you want something done PERFECTLY, WHY wait to start it?  WHY put it off until the last second, sometimes way past the time it was due, WHEN you no longer had the time to ensure that it turns out the way you want?  I do agree that it makes sense than you might think.  If you have this grand idea of WHAT a project should be, you might be a little nervous to start it, right❔❔❔

WHAT IF it does not turn out the way you expected OR envisioned it?  WHAT IF you make a mistake and have to start over?  WHAT IF you try your best and it still ISN'T WHAT you want it to be?  WHAT IF you start at the wrong time, in the wrong head-space, and it screws everything up?  There are just tons of WHAT IFs here such that most scenarios will see you scratching your head❌❌❌

BUT me being a perfectionist, I admit that it DOESN'T necessarily mean that you do everything perfectly.  It just means that you have a 'PERFECT' ideal of how you want something to shape up and happen.  And sometimes, if that 'PERFECT' ideal seems intimidating or just overwhelming, it might even deter you from even starting what you should do.  Makes sense❓❓❓ C'mon, let's FIX PROCRASTINATION, dude❗❗❗

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY

Are You In The Midst Of TOXICITY?  Here's the inequitable situation.  Some people seem to radiate POSITIVITY whereas others somehow leave us emotionally drained and manipulated.  TOXIC people impact our mental and emotional well-being, leaving us exhausted and stressed.  So, how can TOXIC people leave us feeling depleted and like a shell of our former selves❔❔❔

Now, here's the real-life thing.  Most of us work hard and most of us hardly complain, if at all.  BUT in essence, it is actually something most people lack sometimes, BUT it is NOT the usual reason for all one's discomfort.  You might even feel discomfort because you DIDN'T get any recognition from other people, even just for a little bit❌❌❌

Sometimes, we have done the right thing BUT people drag us down and blame us for their own mistake.  Being aware of it is important because if you DON'T realize it, you might keep blaming yourself OR other people.  Then, in the end, you would feel stressed and tired in the end.  Then one day, something comes into your mind.  There is 'SOMEWHERE' you want to be.  You might be imagining 'SOMEWHERE' else OR a place that you remember WHERE you feel peaceful and happy❎❎❎

Sometimes, you might think that you want to leave WHERE you are right now and believe that 'SOMEWHERE' else is better than the place you are right now.  Well, that might be a sign for you because our bodies can tell us WHEN we are actually NOT in the right condition.  The sad part is, without your awareness, you might start to question yourself📌📌📌

So, what's our insight here?  Acknowledge and recognize the environment you are in.  Is it really TOXIC [where you feel undervalued and/or disrespected?]  OR, is that probably a figment of your imagination?  After validating your situation, find a place WHERE you think you will become comfortable.  Thereafter, start by taking a SMALL STEP towards the place you want to be.  And build-on, even if it will take 'baby steps'.  By then, ask yourself if ARE YOU IN THE MIDST OF TOXICITY❓❓❓

Replicating The Best & The Brightest

Replicating The Best & The Brightest

No need to reinvent the wheel.  When SUCCESS matters, Replicating The Best & The Brightest is the way forward.  Unfortunately, though, SUCCESS is neither defined in the bible nor it is part of legislations well defined.  In fact, SUCCESS is nothing but a concept that is different for every person.  Whether it means having a great career, a home OR a family, SUCCESS is something everyone strives to achieve.  WHEN you achieve SUCCESS in your GOALS, it makes you feel proud, it motivates you to do well and let's you know you've made an impact in this very competitive world we're in💴💷💵

Now, let's run a simple, basic clinic by taking on Step1 which is to define SUCCESS but to do it, you should make a list of what SUCCESS looks like to you and your family.  Then, follow up with actionable steps you can take to achieve that SUCCESS.  Once that is done, we can rattle off a list of proven tracks towards SUCCESS but topping that list is COMMITMENT📗📙📘

Through COMMITMENT, you can gain that MOTIVATION to pursue SUCCESS.  To begin that process of setting a GOAL, ensure that besides your clearly defined GOAL, included are your level of COMMITMENT and your PLAN of ACTION.  Simply put, WHAT are you willing to do to achieve a specific GOAL.  It is non-negotiable to stay focused on your plan.  SUCCESS stories have one thing in common.  They put up 15 minutes daily to identify WHERE they are and WHAT are the next steps to be taken for a given day📌📌📌

Next, LEARN FROM YOUR JOURNEY.  Rather than focusing on the results of your accomplishments, take notice of the small steps needed to achieve SUCCESS.  If you allow yourself to enjoy small victories along the journey, reaching your GOAL will become a new adventure each day, and you will be more likely to stay on track.  By doing this, you will learn new and exciting things along the way, which can help you grow as a person✔✔✔

Next, have FUN along the way.  If the journey to achieve something becomes too tedious, succeeding will be more challenging.  Next, being POSITIVE is not just a slogan.  You've got to THINK POSITIVELY because developing a POSITIVE mindset is about trusting oneself and your ability to SUCCEED.  It's important to replace any NEGATIVE thoughts with POSITIVE ones to MOTIVATE yourself to keep trying NO matter WHAT challenges come your way.  On your path to become SUCCESSFUL, you're likely to learn new things and think differently than before.  BTW, your GOALS will NOT happen overnight so thinking POSITIVELY is vital as we REPLICATE THE BEST and the BRIGHTEST❗❗❗