WHO Sets Your Standards In Life?

WHO Sets Your Standards In Life?

STANDARDS are both inevitable and indispensable.  WHY?  You have a STANDARD for everything you do, whether it's buying a new shirt or working on your career.  There is a certain THRESHOLD where things pass from unbearable to frustrating to acceptable.  Question is, WHO Sets Your Standards In Life❓❓❓

As STANDARDS form the basis around which we determine our daily needs, being aware of your personal STANDARDS and their impact on your life is a crucial stage of self-awareness.  High STANDARDS often lead us to work longer and even harder on the task BUT that can also lead to greater DOUBTS and FRUSTRATIONS.  Low STANDARDS are much easier to meet and be content with, BUT you risk limiting yourself from doing anything above average if you only try to hit your low STANDARDS💴💷💵

There's even GOOD LIFE to consider. My own definition of a GOOD LIFE might be so humbling like just meeting squarely my basic needs!@#? Whereas your definition of GOOD LIFE includes hobnobbing at the CxO-level in the corporate world, being a top-tier executive of global OR Fortune 500 company.  There you go, the gap between that so humble [pardon me, I'll call it LOWLY] STANDARDS versus your challenging STANDARDS are as wide as the oceans📌📌📌

In brief, STANDARDS are everywhere. Your clothes must fit you well.  Your coffee must only come from the best Arabica in town.  Your tea must be NO less than Twinnings.  Your furnitures and fixtures at home should be for the long-term no less.  You send your children to the best schools [REGARDLESS if you are struggling to let both ends meet, from a financial perspective].  All these decisions DON'T require you to consider their place in your life because you already set those STANDARDS likely a long time ago✅✅✅

Ooooops, what about your work though?  At WHAT point do you switch from thinking it was a bad day to thinking you were productive?  WHAT amount of work do you expect from yourself each day?  The answers to these questions can be an essential part of planning your day, especially if you work from home OR have the opportunity to determine your hours.  WHEN you know WHAT your end goal is, that leads you to craft your STANDARDS, even evolving it, tweaking it.  So, WHO SETS YOUR STANDARDS IN LIFE.  No one else but YOU, dude❗❗❗

Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?

Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?

There is something prevailing across ages, across cultures which perplexes me no end, Why Value MORE The Unknowns & Value LESS The Familiar Ones?  Sounds familiar?  WHEN people often DON'T appreciate things that happen to them all the time.  The more you are familiar with something, the LESS you value it💴💷💵

The easier something comes to you, the higher its chance to be taken for granted.  Maybe that's the reason there's a saying, 'EASY COME, EASY GO'?  When LOVE comes too easy, the LESS you value it.  For people who rarely experience that thing called LOVE, surely they value it MORE.  They would, in fact, crave for those things📗📙📘

Let's do admit that people's values and priorities can [WIDELY] vary and it's NOT uncommon for individuals to form strong emotional connections to people they may NOT know personally such as celebrities OR public figures.  This can be due to admiration for their achievements, talents OR perceived ideals.  However, it's important to note that valuing an UNKNOWN person more than one's family is NOT a universal experience❎❎❎

Since some things can be influenced by individual circumstances and personal relationships and let's be mindful that family dynamics, personal history and individual psychology all play a role in shaping an individual's values and relationships.  BUT again, does that explain as to WHY, generally, we value MORE the UNKNOWNS and value LESS the familiar ones❌❌❌

Oh, I like this quote from an UNKNOWN.  It's like saying let's make ourselves SCARCE?  Ironically, this insight leads us to that path.  BUT here's the reality.  For those who are loved and peacefully settled in 'family setups', lucky enough to experience LOVE to its fullest, take a moment to think about it.  Be grateful because NOT everyone gets to feel WHAT you feel.  Be GRATEFUL because you have a place to come home.  Be GRATEFUL because you get to be vulnerable a a world where you have to pretend everything's fine.  Be GRATEFUL because in a life full of UNCERTAINTY, you have one thing that you are certain about.  Be GRATEFUL because despite your imperfections, someone NOT just accepts you for WHO you are, but showers and pampers you with the LOVE, which sometimes you more than deserve.  LOVE LOVE LOVE💚💛💜

A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win

A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win

Neuro experts are one in saying that our brains are WIRED to respond to rewards.  Celebrating the completion of SMALL accomplishments leads to the completion of BIGGER goals.  And their studies show that people who tracked their SMALL achievements every day enhanced their MOTIVATION.  That simple practice of recording your day-to-day progress helps you to appreciate your SMALL wins which in turn boosts your sense of confidence.  Talking about how  A SMALL Win Leads To A BIG Win.  Experts say that any accomplishment, even the SMALL ones, releases the neurotransmitter dopamine which boosts your mood, motivation and attention💵💴💷

Now, I could be eating my words because not so long time back, I did highlight that sometimes we have that propensity to celebrate EVEN if it's a premature one and EVEN if it's a SMALL win.  BUT the positive psychology research tells us that celebrating the SMALL wins has more impact than waiting for a BIGGER impact win📗📙📘

WHY?  Because that keeps us engaged and it helps us remember that you're on that path that's proven to be working and that will make you feel good when you get to celebrate even the SMALL wins.  BUT let's admit it, as we work on our GOALS and DREAMS, we mostly FOCUS on making BIG strides.  Getting that BIG CHECK instead of a SMALL CHECK.  Almost every time we only consider BIG things as an achievement and the SMALL things aren't that an achievement.  WHAT can explain that?  Apparently, it's easier to see the progress or see the impact if it's BIG and we tend NOT to notice SMALL waves as often we notice BIG waves on the beach📌📌📌

Now, here's the HARD SELL.  It is important to appreciate the SMALL things and SMALL waves as well because that would allow us to even see life from a different perspective.  We would NOT be overwhelmed.  We would be able to 'BREAK' down BIG tasks and celebrate the SMALL wins.  Taking the time to appreciate the SMALL things is really rare.  NOT everyone focuses pm the SMALL details or SMALL things.  It is also one of the reasons WHY we give up easily on the process.  We forget that we are learning OR progressing throughout the process.  SMALL things are also achievements✅✅✅

Being able to do WHAT we want today is an achievement and NOT everyone has that courage to pursue it. Being able to spend some time with your loved ones on a busy day is an achievement in itself and being able to deliver the deliverables today despite your frenetic overlapping client commitments is a feat that CAN'T just be ignored.  Whatever it is.  No matter how SMALL.  Such SMALL wins are achievements.  And our takeaway today?  It's your call if you want to compartmentalize your SMALL wins or 'club' them together, and I guarantee you, you will see a much BIGGER picture compared to that time when those SMALL wins were compartmentalized.  Hey dude, need any further elbowing that SMALL WINS LEAD TO BIG WINS❗❗❗

Keep COOL When Things Get HOT!

Keep COOL When Things Get HOT!

Easier said than done BUT the reality is, tensions as well as conflicts warm up so damn quickly, much faster than the speed when NASA launches its space ship.  BUT let's put ourselves in real-life situations.  When we disagree on something, it is tough to keep mum and just take a deep breath.  More often, we would react before BUT to Keep COOL When Things Get HOT📗📙📘

Frankly, our emotions can lead us to act in ways we'll regret later.  So, WHAT do we do?  Let us endeavor to create a space between the 'STRESSORS' and your response.  And then, similar to pulling the hand brakes of your car during emergency situations, consider to pause to recognize what your FEELINGS are.  Simply observe your FEELINGS, then take that conscious choice on HOW to channel them💎💎💎

And when EMOTIONS get the better of us, try to speak CALMLY and try to understand the other person's perspectives.  And where there seems to be a 'GREAT DIVIDE' or a gap, find for a 'COMMON GROUND' because that's the modus vivendi that should be 'palatable' to both the protagonists.  As always, CONFLICTS will arise from time to time, so let us reflect on WHAT truly matters.  Show as much respect as you can, just like you want to be treated📌📌📌

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Thing is, there is power and freedom in HOW we govern our EMOTIONS.  Do stay anchored in your values, then take a deep breath.  To sound a bit poetic, 'THE DARK CLOUDS WILL MOVE AWAY AND THE STORM SHALL PASS'❎❎❎

What's our takeaway today?  When faced with a high-stress situation, one that even feels threatening , it can FEEL like we DON'T have control over our response.  Even researches have shown that our bodies can instinctively go into a 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' reaction.  What can we do from our part?  Let us endeavor to self-regulate our reactions.  In the field of neuroscience, it even offers insights into this process of SELF-REGULATION and we can move from the 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' response to a higher state of openess that invites thriving.  So, let's KEEP COOL WHEN THINGS GET HOT❗❗❗

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?

Is MOTIVATION Your Problem?  Before we dive into it, let's agree as to what MOTIVATION is.  It is NO less than our drive to achieve our goals OR needs.  BUT it is heavily dependent on the extent of the GOAL you have set and WHAT are your expected GAINS vis-a-vis WHAT are the consequences and ramifications if you fail to achieve.  Let's face it, most people want to change at least one thing in their life.  BUT it can be challenging to find the MOTIVATION just to make a start. It helps if you understand what MOTIVATION means to you so you can find your own ways to get MOTIVATED along the way💴💷💵

So, without pushing hard, just to be aligned, MOTIVATION is important because it provides you with GOALS to work towards, which, along the way, may help solve your problems and even change your OLD habits for you to be able to cope with challenges and opportunities.  SO HOW?  Most people struggle with MOTIVATION but it becomes more challenging if this gets compounded with anxiety or depression📗📙📘

So, HOW do we go from here?  Numero uno, set one GOAL at a time, something that is specific, concrete and achievable.  Thinking about how to include your GOAL in your life, this goes with the question of WHAT you need to do to make it happen.  Putting a timeframe on is a MUST-DO.  Now, here's the tricky part that needs to be simplified.  Break your GOAL into small, easy tasks, preferably in a STEP-BY-STEP approach which you need to stick to📌📌📌

BUT if we perceive ourselves as lacking in MOTIVATION?  If you do, I guess you need to wait until you have that MOTIVATION to accomplish WHAT you want.  DON'T find MOTIVATION in action, it WON'T work.  It only comes from waiting on your bed.  MOTIVATION comes from scrolling through Instagram.  With that kind of habit-formation, sad to say, you are destined NOT to succeed.  And that will become more of a certainty if you persists scrolling and procrastinating.  Just keep doing those same stuff until your enemy becomes much more stronger than you.  Keep doing that UNTIL you would realize that there is NOTHING you can ever achieve in your life.  Now, here's a glimmer of hope in case you're in this dire predicament.  You DON'T need to find MOTIVATION by scrolling through social media [no thanks to your Pre-Paid UNLI subscription]❌❌❌

BTW, you can find MOTIVATION in doing something, even for just a little bit.  HOW?  Start small.  If you're wondering why people say "AIM FOR BIG GOALS, THEN START TAKING SMALL STEPS", it is because NOT all people have that abundant discipline.  NOT all people are born with great skills of commitment and discipline to achieve their GOALS in the first place.  Take action, due so that MOTIVATION is no longer a problem❎❎❎

What Drains You?

What Drains You?

What Drains You?  If you scaled up Mt Everest, that's perfectly fine.  If you went through a harrowing tragedy where fire was ablaze all over your place and you had to lift heavy stuff on your shoulders, that's understandable.  If you got hit with a flat tire and had to change tires under the scorching heat of the sun, that's a given.  BUT if it's because of any of these listed DRAINING HABITS on this poster, poor boy, you must be in the worst shape ever and this kind of 'rock bottom' situation calls for drastic actions that can trigger off a quick turnaround, else things are turning from bad to worse faster than you can cope📗📙📘

On the other hand, WHAT does this empty poster tell us?  Simple.  That we SHOULDN'T waste our energy on petty cum EMPTY things in life.  BTW, we are gifted twenty four hours a day, enough for us to get re-energized for a reasonable eight hours [even if you're living a frenetic-paced of life].  BUT with so many hours per day, you DON'T need to be egged to stop WASTING your time, your ENERGY📌📌📌

BTW, our life is NOT  a gadget with a rechargeable battery pack.  Our life takes more than just recharging because after we drain ourselves, we need a QUALITY way to regain and recharge ourselves.  Sadly, some of us end up so hanged up, sleeping late way beyond what is reasonable, then hitting the sack and lucky enough to catch an 'x' hours of sleep with little OR low quality, and struggling to push oneself to grind come next day❎❎❎

I've seen people up close WHO literally wasted thousands of precious hours in activities that brought them back ZERO RETURNS.  Problem is, WHEN you spend energy, it's just essential that you get back in return that will make you feel to have spent your energy [and time] on something worthwhile.  WHEN we invest ourselves in something, frankly, we spend ENERGY.  It is then up to us to decide if WHAT we get back in return was really worth the ENERGY [and time] spent.  Life ENERGY, whether it's emotional, social, mental, OR physical is what we use to live.  Spending this power and getting back NOTHING IN RETURN [or worse in some cases, LESS THAN NOTHING] leaves us LOST & WASTED✅✅✅

Let's admit it, it's hard to build a better life WHEN you spend your ENERGY [and time] on "ENERGY-sucking" things, name it, a nuisance around the neighborhood, the unhealthy pollution out there, a work colleague whose work attitude is simply detestable BUT it's hitting you hard, a client WHO's been demanding and squeezing more from you despite your ALL-OUT services rendered OR probably just another Tom, Dick or Harry whose personality you just DON'T feel comfy with.  If you see yourself in any of these "ENERGY-sucking" scenarios, back-out and pack-off, pronto❌❌❌

Out Of Control?

Out Of Control?

By nature, we human beings really have that deep-seated desire for certainty and CONTROL.  And of course, the fact that we coined 'CONTROL FREAK' indicates our need for CONTROL can go too far in fact.  BUT what if your life is Out Of Control? Maybe we shouldn't be surprised then that so many measures of our collective mental health are all heading in the wrong direction these days.  BUT given that the world looks unlikely to grow less crazy anytime soon, does that mean we're doomed to be miserable until our lives feel CONTROLLABLE📢📢📢

BUT not to despair, though, studies show that while we may NOT always be able to CONTROL events [OR even triggers] in life, we certainly can CONTROL our reaction to them and that can make a world of difference for our happiness.  Psychologists' researches show that there are two kinds of CONTROLs, namely, PRIMARY CONTROL and SECONDARY CONTROL💴💷💵

Examples of PRIMARY CONTROL are your decisions WHERE TO LIVE or even WHAT TO ORDER in a restaurant.  And while that's the most common one, SECONDARY CONTROL is very much close to its heels and the stark difference in the latter is that you DON'T CONTROL the events herein BUT you do CONTROL how you think about and respond to them.  SECONDARY CONTROL kicks in when you reframe a failure as a learning experience, that kind of HALF-FULL stuff📗📙📘

Over and over again, studies all scream in unison that humans prefer PRIMARY CONTROL [for obvious reasons] BUT they also showed that SECONDARY CONTROL can go a long way to promote feelings of both moment-to-moment HAPPINESS and even overall life satisfaction.  Intrinsically, it is a richer notion of WHAT it means to live a GOOD, FULL LIFE.  It's an attitude that DOESN'T downplay the negative experiences of life, yet it allows for a different kind of engagement with life✅✅✅

This gets to what SECONDARY CONTROL is about, being able to fit one's experiences into a broader narrative in life.  Events may be very often out of our hands BUT it is HOW we interpret and understand them which matters more.  Our takeaway:  You can always CONTROL how you tell your story.  WHEN you can't steer events, you can always steer HOW you think about them.  And this is when life being OUT of CONTROL becomes a thing of the past❗❗❗

When Do You SPEAK?

When Do You SPEAK?

When Do You SPEAK?  Good question.  Tough question though.  And the answer is that there is NO clear-cut answer to that question because you need to factor-in a couple of things before deciding on the best timing to SPEAK UP.  BUT Let's hear from Nelson Mandela, South Africa's most famous anti-apartheid activist who shared what he learned from his father💵💴💷

And Mandela said, two things he learned from his father.  Have all attendees sit in a circle and always speak last.  BUT let's throw out those assumptions that we are like Mandela or even Jeff Bezos.  Let's stick to being a layman, a worker, a father figure at home, a businessman.  The recommended best practice regardless of the environment you are in, is to set the tone that goes like this:  HERE'S OUR AGENDA, HERE'S WHAT I THINK BUT I'M INTERESTED TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS📗📙📘

Studies show that the skill to hold your OPINION until everyone else has spoken does two things, namely:  It gives everyone else the feeling that they have been heard and you get that benefit of listening to valuable inputs from everyone else before rendering your thoughts.  And as you sit there and listen, yes you can ask questions BUT a word of caution.  If you agree with somebody, DON'T nod YES and if you DON'T agree, DON'T nod NO,  In that way, you will be able to understand NOT only what the speakers mean BUT also where they are speaking from, listening from their perspectives📌📌📌

Let's play roles here, assuming it will be a serious discussion amongst your family members and you happen to be the most respected patriarch.  Imagine if you will be the first one to talk and talk, either some of them will get intimidated OR discouraged OR at the very least, some will be hesitant to speak out especially if they end up in loggerheads with you❌❌❌

The most difficult part is to develop that skill to hold your OWN OPINIONS to yourself until everyone has spoken because as per studies, it leads to two things, namely:  It gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard and that it gives everyone the ability to feel that they have contributed.  And secondly, it gives us the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you speak out.  The last thing you want to see are people withdrawing and settling down to their gadgets, refusing to speak up.  Our takeaway, DON'T speak out SO SOON❎❎❎

Why FUTURE Should Be For The FUTURE

Why FUTURE Should Be For The FUTURE

Why FUTURE Should Be For The FUTURE.  But the bigger question, what pushes most of us to be preoccupied with the FUTURE?  The answer is in a 4-letter word spelled F-E-A-R.  When we FEAR something, we DON'T FEAR that particular thing BUT instead we FEAR how it will feel to go through it OR how it will affect you.  You then FEAR the emotional part💴💷💵

Now, if we rattle off the list of FEARS that causes us to struggle, it's a loooooong list, namely FEAR of change, failure, loneliness, rejection, uncertainty, getting hurt, bad things happening, being judged, inadequacy and that loss of freedom.  Think about HOW many of those FEARS you are currently experiencing📗📙📘

True, those fears like losing one's job, OR that FEAR of rejection OR failure are valid BUT WHAT IF you saw losing your career as an OPPORTUNITY?  It would become something you no longer fear.  Indeed, many people FEAR those standard parts of life.  They FEAR unavoidable things that are guaranteed to happen.  The question is, WHAT can you do to live a meaningful, vibrant, engaged life in the face of all FEARS❌❌❌

We know it, WHEN we FEAR things, we know WHAT will happen next.  It will paralyze you and it WON'T allow you to move past that FEAR.  You can curb that WORRY, build your confidence, and thrive by applying practical measures for us to STOP worrying about the FUTURE.  So HOW?  When new technologies come, we often resist it NOT because they're bad but because how we FEAR change❗❗❗

What's our takeaway today?  When you DON'T connect to your FEARS, you often resist change that is GOOD for you.  CHANGE is going to happen whether you decide to accept it or NOT.  If we're aware of WHAT you're scared to lose, you can protect those things without losing everything.  BUT not everything we FEAR makes sense because THE FUTURE SHOULD BE FOR THE FUTURE📌📌📌

When POSITIVITY Rubs Off

When POSITIVITY Rubs Off

Are you POSITIVE-minded enough?  OR can you be more POSITIVE than what you are now?  OR on the downside, are you more of a NEGATIVE person who deserves to be flipped to be POSITIVE enough?  So, When POSITIVITY Rubs Off, do we stand a china man's chance to improve even by an inch from what OR where we are now?  C'mon dude💴💷💵

If there's something we DON'T need to exert any effort, it's how to distinguish POSITIVE from NEGATIVE as it's like WHITE versus BLACK, GOOD and BAD, RIGHT and WRONG.  In which case, that desire to live a good and POSITIVE life comes naturally to us.  A POSITIVE life is different from just a specific goal we set to achieve.  If you want a specific thing like money, assets, a job or a person, then you might have it BUT it's still something you CAN'T always control.  But a POSITIVE life is something you can always take control of and change from within because you can live a positive life NO matter WHERE you are, WHO you are📗📙📘

So, WHAT is a POSITIVE life after all?  Numero uno, it's more than something you can just control.  It entails a series of thought processes, beliefs, and an overall mindset.  And going down on the nitty-gritty, it is maintaining an overly POSITIVE and realistic attitude and taking POSITIVE actions.  Focusing on the solutions to your problems rather than the problem itself💊💊💊

Consistently exerting that honest-to-goodness effort to constantly improve yourself and your life ignites you to learn especially from your failures and your mistakes, then moving past them and trying again with a new approach.  Living in the PRESENT and making the most of it while NOT dwelling much on the PAST or even the FUTURE.  And most importantly, FOCUSING the GOOD traits in people and NOT solely focusing on their flaws.  This then will lead you to more empathetic and even less judgmental and ultimately, you can strive your best with WHAT you have to work with✅✅✅

Now, indeed, all these are easier said than done.  So, where do we go from here?  CONTROL your mindset.  Let's look back how do we wake up everyday?  Do we wake up when the alarm clock goes off?  That's kind of saying that the idea of waking up early is a BAD thing and your mind makes the alarm clock as the trigger.  Another petty thing is waking up grumpy because you DON'T have to start your day that way BUT doing so, it's like you programmed all by yourself in your mind.  Think POSITIVE.  Act POSITIVE.  Live POSITIVE.  And mingle with POSITIVE people.  That's when POSITIVITY rubs off, promise❗❗❗