Play the Cards You're Dealt

Play the Cards You're Dealt

Everyone in life CAN'T deny that at any given time, we always have a deck of cards to work our way out in life but how often did you hear that the deck of cards they have is NOT enough.  Really? But that is NOT the way life is played.  No one guaranteed us a 'full house' of cards at all.  You can have just a solitary ace or even with no ace at all.  Yet you're expected to Play the Cards You're Dealt.  As this poster says it all: 'YOU CAN'T CHOOSE THE HAND YOU WERE DEALT BUT YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS".  A most obvious parallelism can be witnessed at the NBA season where the head coach needs to play whichever players remain on the bench due to injuries and pandemic protocols endured by its star players.  It has always been on the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.

Let's look back into real life stories around us.  How many times have we heard retorts like.... 'Oh, not enough $$$', 'Oh no, not that kind of job', 'Not the country I want to go to', 'Not that food for our meal [when he has no $$$], 'I prefer our holiday @Maldives [but everyone has to wait donkey years because of $$$'].

When you are next to a parched, dried, arid tree or a barren land at that, do you have much choices in life?  Yes you may be right, eventually the time will come when you will have much more choices [as compared to today where probably all you have is one solitary option [AND NOTHING ELSE], whew.  If you have to wait when you will have all the choices on your hands, you could be counting not just years and probably a decade or more.

Oh, I like this poster which runs, 'TOO MANY PEOPLE UNDERVALUE WHAT THEY ARE AND OVERVALUE WHAT THEY'RE NOT.  In the most simple terms and to be blunt and frank about it, let us NOT be too harsh on ourselves.  If that's all your capabilities can handle now, if that's all the $$$ you can now afford, make do with what you, with what you are capable and what you can budget despite the meager resources.  NEVER [as in NEVER] stall things and STOP moving forward simply because it is 'NOT ENOUGH'.  Let us agree on one thing.  In life, things WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.

Yesirrrrrs, in life, it will NEVER BE ENOUGH.  Let's face it, human nature tells us that our wants and desires are just INSATIABLE.  Do we get satisfied?  Yes we do but it's so TEMPORAL, very fleeting and come next day, you will realize that your feet are back to where you where either yesterday, last month, last year or the last time around.  Point is, let us NOT get stuck up in a STATE of STUPOR, idle and with no significant progress at all.  Even if you are down holding on to just bread crumbs, let us realize that bread crumbs are much better than having nothing and nil at all.  Let's hope that from here onwards, everyone of us will Play the Cards You're Dealt❗❗❗

Temp Check in Life

Temp Check in Life

Do we need a Temp Check in Life?  Yesirrrrs absolutely.  Not just when you're experiencing flu-like symptoms.  In fact, taking a temp check is a MUST-DO multiple times over and over again throughout our life journey.  But the most pressing question is when do we initiate for a Temp Check in Life?  Is it when all things are just nice and dandy?  When nothing just seem to go wrong?

And unless if you're going through flu-like symptoms, taking a Temp Check should not happen that often.  But there will be rough patches and weak links in our life journey.  When?  When not all things seem to go right anymore.  When you're stumbling down.  When you're hitting the wall.  When smooth runs are turning into uphill climbs, steep climbs at that.  When you need to fix things.  When you need to find answers to unanswered questions.

Quick question.  Why do we think there are still more failures littered all over the place?  Quick answer.  Many of us missed that boat, that need to run a Temp Check.  Missing it either because we were unaware of that need for a Temp Check or we simply DON'T have the buy-in for that must-do Temp Check.

And if you ask, when is the best timing to run a Temp Check?  Do it, run it ASAP when things are not smoothly running.  It may just be an isolated rough patch.  But what guarantees you that rough patch will not linger and propagate like a virus?  So, can you do a Temp Check sometime later?  I'm sorry that may be TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

What happens if we can run a timely Temp Check?  A lot.  Obvious errors not detected will surface.  Mistakes then get rectified.  Directions or strategies get re-plotted.  A reassessment of the whole mission gets undertaken.  Weaknesses get addressed.  Holes and flaws get plugged.  Shortfalls and deficiencies get focused on.  The thing is, let us NOT allow our freight train to end up as a train wreck after all the CHUG-CHUG-CHUG✅✅✅

Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes

Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes

Oh it's quite a taboo and frightening to talk about a plane crashing.  Not to worry, that's not our thread for today.  Instead, we'd like to harp on the need to Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes.  And in life, we DON'T want to see even one life doomed to fail at all.  Instead, if one's life is 'going down south', the immediate priority is how to turn things around and avert that impending end.

SOS alerts, those are the last messages I'd like to hear anyway.  'Mayday' calls tell us that a plane is doomed to hit a fatal end very soon.  But before we try to figure out how to turn the plane around before it crashes, let's dissect life itself.  Why do we fail in life?  Most common denominator is our LACK of SELF DISCIPLINE.  If we are disciplined enough, we can avoid temptations and distractions, leading us to fail.

Besides that, some of us tend to lack the PERSISTENCE needed in life.  You can be intelligent and/or talented but if you DON'T combine these two with PERSISTENCE, you'll eventually fail.  In fact, a lack of PERSISTENCE is a huge obstacle to success.  And if you feel you lack it, find ways to STOP GIVING UP too quickly.  

Now here's the crucial one.  You got to GO AGAINST THE CURRENT [just akin to that plane which needs to turn around [VERY QUICKLY] before it crashes.  But as it is, it is always easier to swim with the flow.  BUT here's the BUT.  It will lead you WHERE EVERYONE GOES.

PLANNING kicks in as well.  Without a proper plan, you are LESS LIKELY to succeed in life.  It doesn't matter if the plan is imperfect or if things are not going to work.  Without a clear plan, you'll most likely go left, right, forward, backward and in the end, you'll never get nearer your goals.  And the importance of planning can never be understated.  In life, just like that plane looking at an imminent crash, you need to gather all your grit determination to GO AGAINST THE CURRENT to avert an imminent failure.  In a nutshell, do turn the plane around before it crashes❗❗❗

Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT'

Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT'

In the NBA jargon, the 'PAINT' area refers to that 'restricted area right around the goal  and once you're there with the ball, you'll have a very high probability of putting the ball in the cup.  How do you turn yourself unstoppable in the 'PAINT' area?  Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT', you'll be unstoppable.

And here's a picture I grabbed from the NBA games.  Notice how crowded is that 'PAINT' area as everyone is outmuscling each other there.  To be an unstoppable monster in that 'PAINT' area, you got to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' no less.  Back into our life, do we need to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT'? Absolutely.  Why?  Because in life, you got to move in full throttle once you are all focused to zoom towards your goal.  And as a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT', everything's on your side.

Question now:  what should we do in life for us to be like a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT' [in life]?  Simple. MOMENTUM.  Gain that momentum, keep and sustain that momentum till the FINISH LINE because only MOMENTUM will carry you through your goal.  Can you reach the FINISH LINE with no momentum.  Yes you can BUT you might be one of the cellar dwellers.  

Bigger question, how do you gain that MOMENTUM in life? Start with the 'BABY STEPS'.  How exactly?  Practice ONE THING EVERY DAY.  Note we didn't say TEN THINGS.  Why one thing?  One thing alone that you practice daily allows your mind to FOCUS.  For every item on the list, a piece of your focus is taken away and that means the power momentum may elude us.

Having gained a modest momentum, let's commit to the long-term.  The misconception about momentum is that it happens quickly.  By committing to the long-term, you head down the path of MOMENTUM.  Focusing on the short-term will only make you obsessed with results that you haven't yet earned and then giving up when you don't see them.  In life, don't we want to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT' ❓❓❓

Helping Hand for Teens?

Helping Hand for Teens?

You and me are definitely NOT teens anymore but we could have teens around us, our nephews, neices or even children.  So, I guess it's about time we discuss about one of the last discussed segment of our society and these are the TEENS. I guess everyone will agree that they need a Helping Hand much more than the majority of our current demographics.  Why do TEENS need help?  For so many compelling reasons, TEENS need our help.

For multiple [and likely countless] times in their lives, TEENS seem to be neither here nor there.  Neither are they looked up as adults nor as children anymore.  So you may not agree but these are tough times for teens.  And according to the U.S. Surgeon General in his advisory released in December, the pressure that teens are facing today are unprecedented.  

Experts claim that youth mental health is in crisis [and it's not just because of this long-drawn pandemic].  According to the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance survey, mental health among youth did a 'nose dive', with DEPRESSION and SADNESS increasing by 40%, whew.  What seems to prevail these days is that perceived PERFECTIONISM in TEENS. Many TEENS feel like they are not good enough unless they are at the top of their class and excel in their sports event.

Some of this feeling of not being 'GOOD ENOUGH' comes from comparing themselves with others or via social competition.  For TEENS in school, determining their value means comparing themselves with others as it has been perpetuated in schools with grades and ratings, which then makes it so effortlessly easy to measure up to their competition.

Thing is, comparing oneself to others and striving to be perfect is a RECIPE for mental health problems.  What can we do?  How can we help TEENS see that it's possible to have high standards for themselves while at the same time treating themselves kindly?  That they DON'T have to beat themselves up with harsh words and unrelenting self-criticism to excel.  What else can we do?  Encourage them to speak kindly to themselves because when they prevail, we prevail as well in tandem with them ✅✅✅

GO With GRIT & GRIND

GO With GRIT & GRIND

This morning I woke up, monitoring real-time the NBA game between Miami Heat and Toronto Raptors.  The Miami Heat team was seriously handicapped [very depleted] when no less than Jimmy Butler, their #1 player was out on injury.  And PJ Tucker, their #1 'In-house "ENFORCER"' was also out.  Add in Gabe Vincent, their sharp 3-point specialist injured.  Icing in the cake, their coach, Fil-Am Erik Spoelstra was out on protocols. 

What happens next?  It's for the LAST MAN STANDING. And that means going for GRIT & GRIND as the last option.  Oooops, BTW, GRIT & GRIND is NOT a jargon for the NBA and its hoopsters only.  In life, GRIT & GRIND are must-haves and must-do but the key question, what is it we want to UNLOCK via the sheer GRIT & GRIND?  It is  knowing our LIMITS, finding our LIMITS and reaching our LIMITS no less.  Surely, you have BIG dreams, BIG goals.  The limits of what you think you can accomplish are a comfortable, secure place where growth is hard.  But why is growth hard?

Because discomfort provides motivation to fuel the fires that keep you working toward something bigger.  One more thing, many people have self-imposed limits resulting from their own beliefs rather than you ever had before.

So how do we move from here?  DISMANTLE your limiting beliefs.  What do you tell yourself about what you CAN and CAN'T accomplish?  Now let's examine our limiting beliefs and ensure that ours is an OBJECTIVE BELIEF backed by facts and data and not just a figment of our imagination.  Now, time to be SMART by setting SMART goals, e.g. specific, measurable, actionable, relevant and time-bound.  Now, here's the deal.  WORK ON YOUR GOALS A LITTLE EACH DAY.

As writers say, 'ROME WASN'T BUILT IN ONE DAY',  so unless you are fabulously wealthy with infinite resources. chances are pretty good you're going to need to build your empire bring brick by brick.  And that takes time and regular effort if you want to reach the PEAK One common best practice is to follow the 'NO ZERO DAYS' approach wherein there is NO day that you DON'T work on your big goals, at least a little bit.  It doesn't have to be anything major.  Just doing a SMALL thing that will bring you closer to that BIG thing, that BIG goal till you've realized that you have reached your LIMITS✅✅✅

Never Miss Out Reflection

Never Miss Out Reflection

Pitiful but this is the stark TRUTH.  One of the most overlooked [a.k.a. undervalued and under estimated] word in life is REFLECTION. For most of us, this is NOT even a 'talking point'.  You'll here folks blurting in unison: 'THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE". Indeed that's the distressing, excruciating and pathetic points in our life because the mother of all ironies will tell us that reflection is a MUST-DO, in fact everyday.  Just never miss out reflection.

Now here's another misconception.  For some who do REFLECT, they all [wrongly] thought that you got to REFLECT once you stumbled, once you failed, once you are in a deep crisis.  No sirrrrrs, REFLECTION is all about having a careful thought.  And the most practical and useful REFLECTION involves the conscious consideration and analysis of beliefs and actions for the purpose of learning.

REFLECTION gives our brain the opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, the conundrum where we are all locked-in, day-in day-out.  It is also untangling ourselves from that rat race, that chaos to sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations and create meaning.  This meaning becomes our learning which can then shape up our upcoming mindsets and actions.  But why there is no buy-in with REFLECTION?

First off, many of us DON'T understand the process.  Many thought that a 5-minute silence of pondering is all that it takes to SELF-REFLECT?  Others DON'T simply like the process.  REFLECTION requires from us to do a number of things we typically DON'T want to do because it kind of slows down things.  The process of reflecting can lead to valuable insights and even breakthroughs.  It may even lead to feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, defensiveness and irritation.  Others in us simply DON'T like the results [of REFLECTION].  Most of us tend to quickly dismiss the noted strengths and dislike the noted weaknesses.  Some even become so defensive.

Lastly, we should throw away any bias towards action.  REFLECTION can feel like staying in the center of the goal and missing the action itself.  Very lastly, many of us do not see the benefits of REFLECTION.  That positive 'ROI' is just unquantifiable but look ahead for results that indicate to contribution of time and efforts you exerted.  BTW, such REFLECTIONS should be equated to REALIZATIONS.  And this won't cost you $$$

Why Not a 'CHERRY ON TOP'

Why Not a 'CHERRY ON TOP'

Why Not a 'CHERRY ON TOP'?  Oh, does it matter?  Go over to the ice cream house or to your fav food joint.  Surely you know your fav dishes to order down to the dessert.  But when the server offers you if you want a 'CHERRY ON TOP', what's the normal reply?  No thanks but no thanks.  But that's very fine if we are talking about dollars and cents.  But what if we're talking about life itself, how we go along in our own lives, how do we perform in school, how do we 'deliver the goods' at work, how do we meet the expectations of our spouse/partner and for entrepreneurs, did you consider 'CHERRY ON TOP' to entice more customers?

Way back in my schooldays, I vividly recall my teachers/professors will recognize me at the latest on the second day if not at the first day of school.  Why does it happen that way?  It's because as a student, I was steadfast to let my teacher/professor know how serious I am in class.  It's not sufficient to get the best results in exams and tests.  I had to take that 'xtra mile' where I will get recognize for the little-little manifestations that are akin to that 'CHERRY ON TOP'.

To us customers, an 'ADDED VALUE' is the best thing to happen.  Why?  Simply because we get to benefit or receive more from either the product or services with no extra added costs.  Let's take a scenario of a salesman pitching for a software product. Easily he can offer a 'ADDED VALUE' by understanding the client's pressing needs, down to his business priorities + budget.

As we are part of the core consumer market, what lures us to products and services?  What makes us a 'repeat customer' when the product or the service has remained unchanged?  More likely, it is the 'ADDED VALUE' offered to you when you first had that 'customer experience'.  As the old cliche goes, first impression is lasting.

Over to personal relationships, why have we witnessed seemingly 'solid' relationships breaking up, shocking friends and even the community.  Hmmmm, it will be speculative but studies have shown at least 30% of failed relationships went down the drain because at least one of the partners realized that there was NO 'VALUE ADD' he/she ever experienced or received from his/her partner.  Of course, these things remain unsaid in most breakups but THINK ABOUT IT❗❗❗

Je Ne Sais Quoi

Je Ne Sais Quoi  

Je Ne Sais Quoi.  My apologies, I am trying to feign that I am a French bilingual because my French can be literally counted on my fingers [say it, Oui, Merci, Bonjour, that's all] but what Je Ne Sais Quoi means is that, there is 'something in you' that gives that positive impression about you.  Now, let's swing back into our lives and ask ourselves, is there something within us that seems undefinable or unquantifiable but it's something that lures people to you?  More often, you yourself will be hard pressed to figure out what's your Je Ne Sais Quoi.

Look back through the years.  Surely, someone or several folks did admire or appreciate you but for reasons they are unable to articulate why they reached that point of admiring or appreciating you.  Could be in school before.  Did you had teachers/professors from whom you felt  you were treated quite favorably?  Or when you were that dazzling Lothario many years ago, when girls were enamored just with your presence?  Or at work, do you remember those times when you seemed to be the 'subtle pet' of your boss?  Or at the very least, you were the 'GO TO' guy of your boss.  Each its time he needed help, you were his 'GO TO' guy.  Or if you were an upstart entrepreneur, why were customers converging towards your business?

So what's our magic word? It is COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE no less.  When this jargon came out of nowhere, the misconception was that COMPETIVE ADVANTAGE was all about businesses,  No sirrrrs.  We ourselves, as we compete in our rat race, we need to have our COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE as much as business need.  If you are not galvanizing COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE as our need, we got some homework cut out for us right now.

COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE means standing out from the crowd or from a crowded room.  If you're job-hunting, you can bet, there could be five hundred applicants for a solitary job.  So  how can you stand out from that mammoth crowd?  That's a question you got to figure out.  But how?  Look back and face the mirror?  What's your forte?  What's your card of ace up in your sleeve?  What's your bargaining chip?  Why do you deserve to be picked up from the rest?

You can ask me.  What happens if you DON'T have that COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE?  Simple.  At best, at most, you will end up somewhere in midstream.  Bluntly, you will be neither here nor there.  But hey, that's not the end result we want, right?  So, go for that COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE✅✅✅

What FEAR & PANIC Bring?

What FEAR & PANIC Bring?

What FEAR & PANIC Bring?  Hmmm, must be a lot!  Let's start with the ABCD's.  ANXIETY.  BEDLAM.  CONFUSION.  DEJECTION.  And it does not end up there because that litany can go on till 'Z'.   In short, that's the last thing we ever need to happen.  But the bigger challenge we need to answer is, how to manage once we're into those scenarios and better, how can we avert it.

Let's start off in a reactive mode.  How do we handle FEAR and PANIC.  First off with FEAR.  Many of us have our bunch of FEARS that seem to choke us around our neck just like that albatross.  But what's unfortunate is that most of us [wrongly] think and feel that those FEARS we now have are there to stay.  Absolutely OFF and WRONG.  Instead, we should be figuring out to overcome such fears and the simplest antidote to FEAR is to ignore it and just move on with your life.

Once we get caught up with all our FEARS, ending up paralyzed [at least mentally] is the next thing that happens.  And what comes next is you start to feel immobile.  You feel stalled.  You feel you can't move forward.  Why?  Because you have yet to IGNORE those FEARS.  Can you do a 'hard reboot' similar to the way our gadgets are revived when it hits the wall?

We DON'T want to get stalled in life, right?  But what stalls us?  Blame it on FEAR and PANIC over and over again.  DUMP away those FEARS but as regards PANIC, this is more the effect than the cause.  PANIC arises more as a result of our behavior.  Note that the same circumstances can be replicated across and trust me, you can be in a state of PANIC but the guy next to you remains as cool as a cucumber.

This covid pandemic is the best example.  It did sow FEAR and PANIC everywhere and it took the global village close to two years to overcome it.  Why did it drag to two long agonizing years?  It is because FEAR and PANIC enveloped us all✅✅✅