Trust & Tolerance Are NOT Apples-to-Apples

 

Trust & Tolerance Are NOT Apples-to-Apples.  And YES, these are deep-seated and insightful discussions once we start our discourse to dissect these two variables of a volatile equation.  To start with, many of us stumble down and fall flat on our face simply because of a disconnect with TRUST.  Some [falsely] believe that they should always be TRUSTED regardless of situations and circumstances💥💥💥

Sadly, there are folks who remain unshaken in their belief that everyone needs to TRUST them [by default].  And that's a huge disconnect.  You can have that untainted and unsullied reputation in one organization but once you get onboarded to a new organization, TRUST won't be served on a silver platter.  That's regardless of your rock solid credentials behind you💚💛💜

WHILE we can inherit wealth from our parents and forefathers, TRUST is one of those intangibles which each of us need to work for.  BTW, it DOESN'T pop-up instantly from nowhere.  Instead, one has to invest enormous time and effort before you start to garner and gain a momentum towards that TRUST level💥💥💥

WHEREAS if we juxtaposition TRUST vis-a-vis TOLERANCE, there are fundamentals behind it WHICH we need to embrace, LIKE:

• TOLERANCE is accepting others
• TOLERANCE is blocking intolerance
• TOLERANCE is appreciating differences
• TOLERANCE is manifesting mutual respect
• TOLERANCE is recognizing diversity in itself
• TOLERANCE  is widening and stretching our understanding and appreciation that individual differences is part of life

Our takeaway:  NOT taking sides in that worsening US-Israel war versus Iran, without the slightest hesitation, I will heap the blame NOT on the U.S., NOT on Israel and NOT on Iran BUT rather on the failure of TOLERANCE to prevail in that raging regional conflict.  WHAT IF TOLERANCE prevailed, I am cocksure that that raging war is NOT happening in the first place.  That's WHERE TRUST & TOLERANCE can't be ignored!!!

Breaking Free From The Digital World

 

Giveaway question: HOW easy is it for to contemplate BREAKING FREE FROM THE DIGITAL WORLD?  That's a tough call, dude, to say the least.  That explains why in the UK, they have coined the jargon 'OFFLINING', very much aligned as part of that growing response to WHAT is now recognized as a worldwide social problem with regard to that widespread 'addiction' to the net.   More than a decade back, this was a First World problem BUT as we speak now, this has become a worldwide issue ever since internet infrastructure in the Third World has become robust [although NOT that comparable to the First World yet].  So, here we are, all in a global village facing this dilemma📗📙📘

Let's face this issue point-blank.  'Internet addicts' describe the symptoms as spending too much time in our smart devices [either on our mobile smart phones OR smart TV's], WHICH means, spending significantly less time with one's immediate families in terms of 'family time' and interaction.  In the end, many of us [Ouchhh, many times over and over again, I've been guilty of this] end up trawling through that abundance of bite-size information instead of engaging with fully formed ideas.  Just yesterday, I got dragged with that internet 'NOISE' that US President Donald Trump was dead.  The next 10 to 15 minutes, I myself I got hogtied to that rumor, googling with NO conclusive end💚💛💜

On paper, OFFLINING should help us better manage our online and offline lives BUT given this increasing [I'll call it WORSENING] dependence on the web both at work and at home,the biggest question staring on is this:  Is OFFLINING still a viable option? YES, it is one thing to kind of pledge some offline activity every day and quite another story to literally quit the web for weeks and months on end.  Sadly, by today's prevailing conditions, the latter is nothing short of ascetic to say the least💧💧💧

I'll be the first to admit that OFFLINING is a relatively new phenomenon BUT its existence is already under that scary threat from the looming presence of Web 3.0.  Generally understood as the next big leap for the web, this Web 3.0 registers WHERE you are and even understands WHAT you are doing.  Do we remember multiple business applications dicing and drilling our WEB search behaviors, preferences and literally with cookies tracking every single click that happens. Of course, you can delete the cookies within your device BUT HOW often and HOW consistent do you clean it up?  And by that time, web vendors and product owners have already extracted your own unique data💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In that looming future WHERE the web gets integrated into every conceivable aspect of our daily lives, OFFLINING is something still possible and useful.  BUT again, we heard all those 'horror stories' of smokers and alcoholics having failed to withdraw from their entanglement, my 2-cents here is that let us exert initially in OFFLINING via 'baby steps'.  SO HOW?  There's this simple yet realistic idea I overheard in the web.  Let us attempt OFFLINING initially during our Day of Worship, whether that's a Friday, Saturday OR Sunday, depending on one's religion.  Of course there are atheists.  That gives them leeway to choose their OFFLINING day.  YES dude, BREAKING FREE FROM THE DIGITAL WORLD is no mean feat😡😡😡

Our Lessons From The 'EPSTEIN FILES'

 

As of January 2026, the United States Department of Justice has released less than 1% of the EPSTEIN FILES.  Wowowow, that's NOT even a drop in a bucket.  YET, the sheer content of that less than 1% has literally shaken up the Tier 1 of global moguls, revered gurus, retired and past heads of state/government and yes, even incumbent and past presidents and prime ministers even within the G12.  If we will compare it to tectonic plates colliding deep beneath, that is a huge understatement NOT deserving to be condoned😡😡😡

A year ago, it was even unthinkable that global power couples like Bill and Melinda Gates will end up washing linens in public [BUT YES they did, with the unfathomable admissions by no less than Bill Gates himself.  And as much as his name does NOT ring a bell to us non-Americans, just hearing that the President Emeritus of Harvard University resigned because of EPSTEIN FILES [that's Lawrence Summers] quitting from the academe💥💥💥

NOT to defend EPSTEIN but truth be told, a big chunk of the global population has already 'crucified' EPSTEIN.  BUT can we agree [and this is hotly debatable] that EPSTEIN was the symptom and NOT the disease that needs to go through treatment.  I would even opine that EPSTEIN was an aberration rather than an anomaly.  BTW, symptoms DON'T disappear as quickly as we want to as long as power goes unaccountable and conversely, silence is even rewarded [heard of those chartered flights arrange by EPSTEIN for his friends?]???

Here's a blunt statement I picked up somewhere:  IF THE CONDITIONS THAT PRODUCE, PROTECT and EMPOWER people like EPSTEIN ARE ENTIRELY OF OUR OWN MAKING, THAT ALSO MEANS THEY ARE ENTIRELY WITHIN OUR POWER TO CHANGE.  And this means that those symptoms manifested via the EPSTEIN FILES are solvable and it is within the power of humanity to to change and fix it with finality!!!

Our takeaway:  Akin to looking a half-empty glass as half-full, I do welcome and embrace these uncorked facts from the EPSTEIN FILES for key reasons.  Firstly, the rich and famous [name it from Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and royalty like Prince Andrew] all tumbled down from their lofty pedestals WHICH we [wrongly] thought were dainty and unsullied, NOT until the floodgates from the EPSTEIN FILES debunked everything about that myth.  Secondly, even for the untainted and innocent, this is the rare opportunity to further reinforce and solidify our very CORE VALUES, hoping that the very foundations of our CORE VALUES will remain as solid as steel and concrete all rolled into one. And lastly, for the rich and famous, we hope that they will realize that their enormous power and wealth does NOT give them a free pass for anything that is illegal and immoral, all rolled into one.  BTW, thanks to the US-ISRAEL combined war with IRAN, everything about EPSTEIN has been buried under the bushel of oblivion, ouchhhhhhh😡😡😡

Time To 'SHAKE UP' Yourself?

 

Time to 'SHAKE UP' yourself?  NO sirrrrrrs, pardon me, I'm NOT referring to our oversized friends WHO are soon to be queueing to the gym.  BUT instead, do you recall  sometimes, seated in a corner, pondering endlessly ABOUT the next activity you want to get hooked to?  OR next business endeavor?  OR next interest?  OR even flying off to your next destination?  Sometimes, those restless thoughts are your life's way of nudging you toward CHANGE.  BUT my question, HOW often is CHANGE forthcoming in our life???

BUT just to clear up things, CHANGE DOESN'T always have to mean LIKE packing up, moving house, relocating to a new country, quitting your job or settling halfway across the world.  Sometimes [I'm tempted to exclaim 'MANY TIMES'] it is about moving those small, smaller parts and shifts that help us feel more alive, more intentional and more in tune with yourself💚💛💜

YES, we've all had those moments, that restless 3 am thoughts about switching careers or changing your domicile/residence OR even wondering if cutting your hair off will magically transform your life.  On the flip side, there are the long stretches WHERE we go through the motions of on autopilot telling yourself, 'Hey, it's fine' even though deep down it DOESN'T feel fine at all💥💥💥

SO HOW?  WHEN do we know when IT'S TIME TO SHAKE UP?  WHEN someone asks WHY you're doing WHAT you're doing, WHETHER that's your job OR your relationship, OR even your hobbies, do we realize that sometimes [and probably many times], we tend to struggle even answering our very own questions?  If we're living without a sense of direction OR intention, it might be time to pause and re-examine WHAT actually matters to us.  Are we chasing that 'HAPPY' mode in futility😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  WHILE the need to SHAKE UP yourself may NOT seeming as a pressing matter to take action, it behooves that we take stock of things especially if and WHEN we discern that pattern of us constantly chasing to be 'HAPPY' but never feeling fulfilled.  True, there's nothing wrong with wanting joy BUT if you're only focused on staying comfortable and avoiding discomfort, you might be missing that deeper kind of satisfaction that comes from growth, challenge and connection.  YES dude, true fulfillment often involves a mix of UPs and DOWNs instead of a constant high.  TIME TO SHAKE UP YOURSELF???

Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze?

 

With skills still looming as one of the most in demand variable out there in the market, once OR twice, I was asked this question:  IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE?  That's WHEN I really did grind to a halt and seriously pondered that question during those times WHEN I was in the middle of sourcing out the team members of a new but aggressive offshoring opportunity that fell on my lap WHEN I still had to strategize things out📗📙📘

In the labor market, this discussion if the JUICE IS WORTH THE SQUEEZE would continue to linger far longer than ever, no thanks to the unexpected inroads of AI in our landscape.  BUT we WON'T delve into an AI discussion as we'll reserve that for a separate thread in the future.  For now, let's pick our brains and relate this cliche with our daily lives.  LIKE when we stretch our own selves and even our health by logging-in more than 40 hour-work weeks, IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE?  LIKE after all your long hours at work for you to deliver the goods, so to speak, only for your health to suffer a hit down the road, IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE???

Even in our relationships, WHEN both parties would recognize a significant gap OR disconnect between themselves, WHILE it is ideal for both [parties] to mutually adjust, there are real-life circumstances WHEN that equilibrium is non-existent because one party is too far from WHAT is acceptable or even reasonable.  In the end, the other party would then endeavor to SQUEEZE as much as he can BUT then again, that brings us to the same rejoinder.  IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE???

In essence, this insight tells us that while the results and outcome really matter, it is NOT and should NOT be the fulcrum to tilt it in favor of prolonging that 'SQUEEZE' if the amount of effort [NOT to mention all the stressors] to be exerted will justify the eventual results and outcome.  In those historical wars and battles, we all have heard about that pyrrhic victory.  And that is the same pyrrhic victory we might eventually claim when we SQUEEZE things way beyond the justifiable JUICE you can extract💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In any pursuit in life, there is NO SIZE THAT FITS ALL and yes, by a stretch, the END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS.  Instead, we need to take stock of things, take a measured approach once you reach a 'forked road' because beyond that point, there is no 'UNDO'.  YES dude, be mindful IF THE JUICE IS WORTH THE SQUEEZE😡😡😡😡

Do We Write Notes On What We Know OR What We DON'T Know?

 

Do We Write Notes On What We Know OR What We DON'T Know?  Sound like a silly question?  BUT it's NOT dude.  The thing is, there has been NO consistency on this BUT please DON'T get me wrong, there is NO right OR wrong on this aspect as this is always part of our habit formation.  We would hear that we're supposed to write WHAT we know WHEREAS many of us [and that includes me] would rather write WHAT we need to remember💚💛💜

Prior to that dreaded Covid-19 Pandemic, we all sing the same tune, that is, we're BUSY [but of course, especially with the perennial traffic gridlock which has compounded by probably 10 to 20 times through the years.  Then, Covid-19 Pandemic hit us hard.  BUT then, even during that pandemic itself, life has always been busy, right?  And sometimes it seems easier to let the momentum of rushing around carry me through instead of doing the work of staying in the moment.  And my default disposition then is to be anxious💥💥💥

Oh Oh, I used to just power through, working myself to exhaustion, and then, berating myself for failing to meet those lofty and quite impossible standards I pre-set for myself.  BUT as I keep threading on in this planet, I'll admit that I'd be kinder to myself, to create systems that work with my anxiety instead of trying to force myself into doing things the normal way💧💧💧

One of my coping mechanisms then is to always have stacks of Post-it Notes around for stuff and actions I need to remember.  So, instead of lecturing myself, I simply flip through those Post-it Notes.  Of course, they look that troublesome BUT those helped me a lot to ensure that I would avoid commiting that oversight twice in a row [WHICH, frankly, is frustrating to vent out]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Writing NOTES may seem that oh-so boring stuff to talk about allow me to pitch my spiel here.  Let us NOT underestimate those small-small stuff because it may sound as 'loose change' OR small pebbles BUT look at the beach fronts facing the immense sheets of water, they are made up of those small-small pebbles.  Back into our lives, WHAT IF you keep missing important things OR actionable matters from time to time, WON'T that add-up to your pile-up of mediocrity?  DO WE WRITE NOTES ON WHAT WE KNOW OR WHAT WE DON'T KNOW???

Picking Up Those 'Low-hanging Fruits' Around

 

NO sirrrrs, our piece today does NOT relate to Magnus Carlsen, the undisputed and undoubtedly most dominant chess player today.  BUT instead, we'd like to exert the least efforts in picking those low hanging fruits around us, those LIFE LESSONS up for our picking NOW [and NOT tomorrow, NOT next year, NOT WHEN we reach the twilight zone].  LIKE WHEN people judge people.  That kind of peer pressure can lead one to go stray from the rightful path one started to carve out for his/her future.  So, can we just DON'T mind other people's aspirations and DON'T ever let someone else's goals and dreams influence our vision in life.  Because at the end of the day, it is our own path and we decide WHERE it takes us and HOW long it takes us to see it through.  Ignore the cacophony of noises around!!!

More often than not, we fail to act due to our lack of confidence OR courage.  Sometimes, it's all due to our procrastination.  That hesitation keeps us from moving forward and in the end, it pushes us deep into a 'cage' of wondering WHAT might have been.  And WHENEVER we feel it's time to act, then we should take action.  And no matter WHAT the outcome may be, there is that strong likelihood that you will end up smarter than before😄😄😄

No matter HOW much we think we know about some topic, it is only after we have put that knowledge into use that we get confirmation of our actual level of understanding that we possess.  Very true, we could read about painting, learn all the techniques and brush types, color palettes, name it BUT only WHEN we get in front of the canvas and start painting we would put our knowledge to test.  Obviously, the results are NOT guaranteed BUT until we plunge into the waters, HOW would you know that you can swim💧💧💧

Oh Oh Oh, I heard this many times, GOOD THINGS DON'T COME EASY.  And if I may add, more often than NOT, those GOOD THINGS come the HARD WAY.  Even WHEN we're feeling most prepared, there is always that likelihood that there is a chance we will fail in accomplishing our goal.  LIKE an athlete could lead the entire marathon race only to fall short just in front of the finish line and lose by a hairline margin.  This DOESN'T mean though that the athlete should stop competing BUT instead, that competitive athlete would work even harder to prepare for the next competition and by now, I guess we hear the same narrative WHEREIN most of the time, eventually, that athlete wins and prevails😁😁😁

Our takeaway:  Bottomline here is that life goes by faster than we can ever think so it's really crucial for us to appreciate the present moment.  YES, I vividly remember, WHEN I was in my twenties, I [wrongly] thought that I'll stay there forever, ouch BUT before I knew it, I had to roll my punches into the thirties and by that time, I was a step late for the things I wanted to do and achieve early in life.  Living our life to its fullest extent becomes a no-brainer because dude, LIFE IS SHORT and we never know WHAT tomorrow brings for us down the road.  YES, PICK UP THOSE LOW-HANGING FRUITS pronto, dude💥💥💥

Silent Treatment, Anyone?

 

SILENT TREATMENT, ANYONE?  Supposedly, this should be a NON-ISSUE, a NON-TOPIC in fact.  BUT rightfully, that's NOT how things would go anyways.  And WHETHER that behavior OR manifestation is abusive depends on the person doing it and their motivation.  WHEN I was in grade school, I did pick up some rarely used vocabulary like OXYMORON, which essentially, is a figure of speech that brings together those contradictory terms and 'ORGANIZED CHAOS' is a popular OXYMORON BUT to translate it in more relevant terms, I'd like to tag it as that DEAFENING SILENCE, that SILENT TREATMENT that seemingly goes unnoticed even WHEN, at times, you are on the receiving end📗📙📘

And if have been on the receiving end of that SILENT TREATMENT, we would know HOW powerful [and often times painful] SILENCE can be.  BUT the perplexing question is:  WHY IS THAT?  To put things in perspective, let's align that SILENT TREATMENT is that act of withholding communication, that common stonewalling behavior that can be either intentional OR unintentional.  For some, that is a coping mechanism BUT for others, it is that way of causing harm.  BUT you might play devil's advocate and ask HOW SILENCE can be harmful.  And psychologists claim that it has to do with the effect 'social exclusion' has on our bodies and minds💥💥💥

Experts tell us that our sympathetic nervous system reacts WHEN we think that a 'social bond' is under threat.  To quote their studies, our 'dorsal anterior cingulate cortex' [that region of our brain responsible for processing pain] lights up.  In layman's terms, being ignored OR rejected hurts.  NOW, WHETHER the hurt is done purposely is essential to know BUT only up to a point.  And across the board, that 'SILENT TREATMENT' is a behavior that indicates poor communication, conflict resolution and emotional regulation skills.  Sadly, SILENT TREATMENT comes to us in different forms and shapes😡😡😡

Just to state the obvious, SILENT TREATMENT happens IF:

• WHEN you are intentionally IGNORED
• WHEN people DON'T respond WHEN you reach out
• Hours, days and weeks without communicating to you
• WHEN they talk to others [sometimes in front of you] YET they DON'T talk to you
• WHEN they leave without telling you WHEN to be back and WHERE are they bound for
• WHEN they act AS IF nothing is wrong and instead, would even initiate acts OR deeds to provoke you

Our takeaway:  WHAT is alarming is WHEN SILENT TREATMENT is NO less than an ABUSE as it impacts a person in a variety of ways.  For 'people-pleasers' OR those with history of trauma, SILENT TREATMENT is frightening no less.  And things can get worse WHEN that SILENT TREATMENT becomes destabilizing, leading one to confusion and self-doubt.  WHAT's worst is WHEN one questions himself for getting that SILENT TREATMENT, ouch!@#$%?

How Often Our Brain Is Playing Tricks On Us?

 

HOW OFTEN OUR BRAIN IS PLAYING TRICKS ON US?  Probably, most of the time, we get tricked as we are NOT aware OR conscious about it.  BUT YES, it does happen [even multiple times each day].  To piggy-back on the technical and functional definitions about our brain, as it is only a three-pound tissue, YET it is the 'control center' of our body, capable to be managing everything from memory to the moment.  BUT we are cautioned here that our mind is NEVER perfect as at times, it forgets some essential details📗📙📘

How often do these misses happen?  LIKE we miss out our friend's birthday, our dentist appointment, OR our client meeting [thanks to the Calendaring tools that gets partially addressed], BUT surprisingly, it also often fails to notice things in our surroundings, leading us to commit mistakes that would hurt us OR make us sick. WHAT it means is that our mind does NOT really depict reality as it is and usually takes shortcuts to ease its workload.  BUT WHAT's true is that those brain tricks are annoying.  From subtle cognitive biases to perceptual illusions, our minds often deceive us without realizing it❎❎❎

Those hidden biases are the very triggers of a hell lot of theseHeard of that 'HALO EFFECT'?  WHERE one might automatically assume that a new coworker must possess high moral integrity?  Then there's that hindsight bias WHEN from time to time, we would blurt out LIKE 'I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT THAT WE WILL LOSE' after suffering a defeat in a competitive sports event despite lacking foresight into the game's outcome.  Another bias that clouds us is our 'attributional' bias which causes that unfair coloring of our judgment of others.  LIKE WHEN we walk into that Starbucks cafe and the barista errs, leading us to hastily label them as incompetent OR indifferent, disregarding the probability that they may have been overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks at hand💥💥💥

And NOT to forget the confirmation bias, WHICH prompts us to 'cherry-pick' OR actively seeking information that aligns with our existing beliefs WHILE dismissing conflicting evidences at hand.  BUT it is detestable WHEN our mind tends to play that 'BLAME GAME' LIKE WHEN adversity strikes, our brain instinctively seeks a scapegoat to shoulder the blame.  Essentially, we end up engaging in that 'quiet dance of distortion', twisting reality to shield our self-esteem from failure😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  WHAT perplexes me though is the mystery as to WHY we play that 'blame game'?  Researchers suggest that many of our attributional biases serve as our 'psychological armor', shielding us from that crippling fear of failure as we tend to safeguard our self-worth by attributing mishaps to external factors beyond our control.  Conversely, WHEN it comes to our triumphs, we readily credit our traits, skills and efforts and WHILE there may be truth to these attributions, it is essential to acknowledge for us to figure out towards increasing our own awareness so that we become more incisive and conscious IF and WHEN OUR BRAIN IS PLAYING TRICKS ON US???

It's HOW You 'DELIVER' It!

 

I'm NOT going down the path to run a lecture of WHAT communications is.  Everyone knows that.  BUT hell no, can we have a show of hands as to WHY there's still so much gaps and disconnects happening all over the place?  YES, we all know the 7 C's of communications, i.e. CLEAR, CONCISE, CONCRETE, CORRECT, COHERENT, COMPLETE and COURTEOUS.  BUT the question is, IS THIS ALL TO IT???

One I stepped into a Starbucks branch nearby, waiting for my 'overpriced' coffee WHEN I did overhear the next guy loudly explaning to his friend WHY he was absolutely certain that left-handed people were more likely to be criminals?  WHAAAAT?  WTF serious, I almost rushed out of Starbucks just to avoid that loud-mouthed guy spreading that fallacy, like a virus-like thing spreading out much faster than the bushfires in the Australian outback😡😡😡

Oh, that guy?  It seems he was serious enough because he even rattled off FAKE statistics with so much confidence, you might even misconstrue him as having tucked a PhD in 'nonsense', whew.  WHAT was an eXtra surprise for me was that his friend kept nodding and nodding all along like it made perfect sense [BUT I'm NOT sure if he agreed OR NOT].  WHAT I realized was that likely, his friend was nodding NOT because he agreed BUT because he liked the way things sounded, the way the messaging was DELIVERED💥💥💥

If you were a leader @ the workplace and you've got a mediocre project team member, HOW will you handle things?  You DON'T 'whack' that project team member right in the open @ the Town Hall, right?  And if you want to give your child a sage advice, you DON'T blurt out in the open right WHEN you fetch your child at the school gate!  And WHEN there seems to be a marital disconnect, much as we have vociferous lawyers all around more than willing to dip their hands in the cookie jar, you'll try to fix it privately, right???

Our takeaway:  I remember, for those tons of times I flew via Singapore Airlines, Cathay, Emirates, and even EvaAir and Thai, whenever I pressed the FA button to request for something, when they get back to me, the FA will even literally stoop down, and hand it over to me in a 'hush' WHEREAS how's the FA's of United Airlines perceived?  Once you asked for some more peanuts, sure you'll have it back on the way back, they'll literally THROW IT BACK to you with a 'THERE YOU GO!' stroke.  So, dude, you may have it all right BUT IT'S HOW YOU DELIVER!!!