What One Goal At A Time Means After All

 

WHO has more than 1 goal in life?  Me, moi, mich, yo!  Of course, that was a giveaway question because the fact is, everyone of us could have tons of goals and that's the best thing in life, to have as much goals as possible.  BUT are you aware of the statistical data showing that there is a huge plurality of results in those goal-settings WHICH ended up as LESS THAN just being called a SUCCESS?  NOT too fast, if there are tons of failures in our life, more often, it is NOT because we are exerting less efforts, NO, NOT AT ALL📗📙📘

For anyone WHO has ever achieved the various levels of greatness at anything must have learned by now that mastery often comes only through that intense focus, repetition and even obsession about a particular subject for an extended period of time.  HOWEVER, by default, many of us get so perpetually distracted by all the various forms and shapes of opportunities💚💛💜

Many times I heard this practical advice:  Let's stop FOCUS-hopping and instead become a master at something [BUT take it, ONE THING AT A TIME].  WHEN I started my technology career as an entry-level green-horn @Shell, I realized that I almost DIDN'T know anything @ workplace. In fact, in the first 3 to 6 months in my job role, I spent roughly 50% of my time @ IBM trainings.  Then everything seemed to be spinning within my head as I was literally overwhelmed with so many things to learn.  At that point, I pulled the brakes and I told myself, I'll do a HARD RESET and set for my Goal #1.  Goal #2?  I'll set that close to the heels after achieving Goal #1.  WHEN I completed my very first Cobol program, I then set Assembler programming as my Goal #2 and luckily, I was spot on in setting those goals in serial mode [instead of taking up all goals in parallel, WHICH I realized is really next to impossible💥💥💥

So, WHAT insights are worth sharing here?  I'd like to zero-in on the 5-letter word spelled F-O-C-U-S.  Excellence OR even being near OR just great at something more often requires FOCUS  and that can mean saying NO to everything else.  You may find that most people in your life will have an opinion about the decision to say NO.  In fact, I always opine [even now] that if you step into a room with 10 people, expect 10 opinions [and many are unsolicited at that]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  For us to reinforce our FOCUS, we got to reinforce multiple times our courage [I call it GUMPTION] to say NO to all the possible distractions and even opinions and requests coming from different directions.  To quote Albert Einstein, ONLY ONE WHO DEVOTES HIMSELF TO A CAUSE WITH HIS WHOLE STRENGTH AND SOUL CAN BE A TRUE MASTER.  Well said dude!!!

Underthinking Equates To Over-achieving?

 

DOES UNDERTHINKING EQUATE TO OVER-ACHIEVING?  Me thinks, yes so [much as I'm sure many will beg to disagree].  And indeed this is debatable because there are always 2 sides of a coin.  BUT I'd like to share my insightful thoughts culled from my donkey years behind me.  To reinforce my opinion, allow me to buttress my hypothesis that I'll beg to defer that OVER-ACHIEVERS are OVER-THINKERs!@#$?

I've met, known and really got to know people inside-out especially WHEN I had first-hand interactions with them especially if such interactions rolled up quite sometime, like months and years.  And during those extended windows of my collaborations with people WHO I can claim to know enough for me to have a crystal-clear view of himself, several of them were indeed OVER-ACHIEVERS BUT NOT once of those OVER-ACHIEVERS were OVER-THINKERS.  On the other hand, I know people really up close, including some WHO are intellectually upright [@ Tier-1 level] WHO were OVER-THINKERS BUT sadly, without breaching confidentiality, I bear witness that their OVER-THINKING DIDN'T lead them to OVER-ACHIEVING💚💛💜

NOT to downplay the people I'm referring to because most of them have their fair share of success stories BUT for me to tag their own successes as an OVER-ACHIEVEMENT will be hyperbole no less.  In a nutshell, verily true, I can attest to the veracity of their success narratives BUT to be fair to them, I really DON'T think they are one of those OVER-THINKERs.  In fact, they just rowed the boats with their oars, just right!!!

BTW, WHO DOESN'T love to achieve their goals?  Accomplishments are our very source of energy and strength.  With drive and determination, people WHO are motivated by success often deliver great [OR even greater] results and end up as exceptional in their own fields.  BUT here's the thing.  The flip side of the coin will lead us to that 'dark side' of achievement and that is, over time, a relentless drive to excel can sometimes create substantial imbalance in our life because we may tend to neglect the needs of ourselves OR even our loved ones.  For many, though, OVER-ACHIEVEMENT stems from our feelings of insecurity and sometimes, inadequacy.  In a job market fraught with competition, task accomplishment offers that sense of self-worth and relief and so, rather than savoring achievements, we then get tempted to think and OVER-THINK how to run things!!!

WHAT happens next is anybody's guess because circumstances like that can precipitate the creation of a vicious cycle of our insatiable striving with little sense of purpose at that.  And it may be WHY, despite feeling burned out, we tend to continue to grind away WHILE enviously watching others enjoy a more balanced existence.  Meanwhile, in the past WHEN I had this realization, I thought that it was hard to 'unwind' from that chronic and vicious cycle if only to regain my balance.  In the end, I have to admit I had some episodes in the past WHEN I was OVER-THINKING until I realized I had to pull the brakes before I loose control of my journey's momentum.  Truth is, I was quite steadfast NOT to fall prey to my own self-created trap by OVER-THINKING because all along [and even as we speak now], I firmly believe that I'd rather UNDER-THINK to OVER-ACHIEVE rather than push myself into that over-THINKING trap because I really doubt I can OVER-ACHIEVE when trapped that way😡😡😡

Calmness Versus Excitement

 

Here's a bonus question:  Between a EXCITING person and a CALM person, WHO stands out?  I'm absolutely sure that the EXCITED fella really stands out even in a mamooth crowd.  BUT HOW about the CALM fella?  Unfortunately, in that apples to apples comparison, the former stands out hands down.  BUT WHY?  The old school of thought tells us that it is damn easy to be CALM even WHEN doing nothing.  WHEREAS, to be EXCITED, you've to pump up yourself like your adrenalin goes up up and up💚💛💜

Verily true, EXCITEMENT is that state of intense enthusiasm, typically present WHEN we are going through really 'short-lived' emotions. And EXCITEMENT is that future-focused attitude that usually mobilizes our energy by seeking out novelty and change WHILE pursuing our active goals.  Of course, WHEN our discussion veers towards romantic EXCITEMENT, it obviously creates those feelings of interest, happiness and enthusiasm.  WHEREAS WHEN we compare it to CALMNESS, they are quite poles apart because the latter refers to that absence of any agitation, tension, distress OR disturbance.  LIKE WHEN we say that the weather is CALM, we mean that storms, hurricanes and the like are NOT anticipated to happen soon❌❌❌

BUT WHEN we invoke CALMNESS, it does NOT mean only being free of negative elements BUT instead, it includes positive aspects that enhance flourishing.  CALMNESS relates to [BUT is NOT identical to] positive states of being, such as relaxation and patience.  BUT WHEN we swing over to our life goals, WHICH of CALMNESS or EXCITEMENT you think will carry us through to the FINISH LINE successfully?  I believe, hands down, that it is CALMNESS that will bring us over💥💥💥

NOT to downplay all the UPSIDEs of EXCITEMENT, I did bear witness WHERE, sadly, a person flopped in his/her journey to achieve his goals WHEN most of the time, EXCITEMENT was 'all over here' even as almost everyone around him can witness the trajectory of his adrenalin that keeps moving upward.  Sadly, CALMNESS has a role to play in our journey to achieve our goals. WHY?  Because CALMNESS offers us that most pleasant state.  Unfortunately, many people fail to distinguish between CALM-ENERGY versus TENSE-ENERGY since they believe that WHENEVER they are energetic, they experience a certain degree of tension❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Psychologists did researches on this mix-up between CALMNESS and EXCITEMENT and they claim that CALMNESS of mind does NOT mean we should stop our activity BUT real CALMNESS should be found in the activity itself.  YES dude it is easy to feel CALMNESS in inactivity BUT calmness in activity is really the TRUE CALMNESS.  And that kind of dynamic CALMNESS can be found in meaningful intrinsic activities that promote our balanced approach in our life journey.  And NOT to forget, DON'T put all your eggs in one basket by thinking [wrongly] that only EXCITEMENT will lead you to success.  Go for your CALMNESS to bring you over to success as well😁😁😁

Screwing Up WHEN LIFE IS GOOD?

 

Heard of someone blurting:  WHY DID I SCREW THINGS UP WHEN LIFE IS GOOD?  Really puzzling even to experts hence they initiated multiple studies WHICH concluded that 'SELF-SABOTAGE' is most common in life WHEN life is at its best, whew!  Dissecting much deeper, the studies showed that most of the time, we feel comfortable with things going really well in our lives ONLY FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME.  WHEN we hit our threshold of our happiness, something inside us would whisper on our left ear LIKE:  YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.  LET'S DO THIS AND DO THAT.  WHAT happens next, that cools our momentary bliss and guess WHAT happens next?  You're spot on, our upward trajectory suddenly grinds to a halt, NO thanks to that 'whisper'💚💛💜

Allow me to share these random samplings:

• A successful entrepreneur sells his business with a huge windfall and then announces he's getting divorce!@#$%?
• A woman falls in love, head over heels and gets married BUT experiences endless 'drama' with family or friends
• A politician gets elected and at the peak of his career, he binges on drugs OR alcohol [or gets into an affair]!@#$%?

In a nutshell, we have that tendency to shoot down our feet during those days and times when everything is shining and dandy.  By the way, most of those narratives are NOT intentional and the thing is, most people DON'T mean to screw things on purpose BUT sometimes, our sneaky fears get into the way!!!

So, WHAT is it really that triggers us to MESS UP things WHEN LIFE IS GOOD?  Famous author Gay Hendricks opines in his book four hidden that tend to trigger our very own foul-ups:

Primero, we seem to be fundamentally flawed, like that belief telliing us to play it safe because we DON'T deserve.  In that way, IF we fail, we will fail 'SMALL' [ouch really???]

Segundo, he highlights our belief in disloyalty and abandonment such that it prevents us from reaching our full potential because it causes us to feel disloyal to our own roots [ouch really???]

Tercera, believing that success brings bigger burden.  Baloney!

Lastly, that crime of 'outshining' becomes a barrier that is common among gifted and talented folks WHERE their innate skills tell them "DON'T SHINE TOO MUCH", you will make others look bad

WHILE life has its UPs and DOWNs, some people find it difficult to feel happy even WHEN things in their life appear to be going well.  Sometimes, there are valid reasons LIKE past [unfortunate] experiences OR genetic predispositions. In any case, it is imperative that we are able to identify the very root cause as to WHY we are feeling OR manifesting that particular way and thereafter find ways to work through those feelings to learn how to accept and appreciate the GOODNESS of LIFE.  It may also help to reach out and tap on your helpline and IF that is insufficient, nothing wrong to seek professional help💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Psychologists counsel us that our lives are made up of a combination of multifarious elements LIKE our emotions, our thoughts, our relationships and even external factors like $$$$$$ OR status.  And even if most aspects of our lives are favorable, one area is sufficient to drag us down and stop us from feeling as happy as we could be.  It's also possible that WHEN LIFE IS GREAT, it does overwhelm us, leading us to feel LOW and unsatistfied even IF everything is in fact seemingly perfect.  Indeed, SCREWING UP WHEN LIFE IS GOOD😡😡😡

Quid Pro Quo In Life

 

QUID PRO QUO seems to be one of the most boring topics to talk about.  Firstly, anything that sounds like Latin seems to be coming from the deepest labyrinths of those medieval castles and churches.  Instead, WHAT seems to befuddle me is the popularity of this age-old phrase as it continues to resonate NOT just in legal documents BUT even in tons of laymen's discussions [and it's my fav phrase too]📘📙📗

Simply put, QUID PRO QUO means 'something for something'.  And frankly, even if every Tom, Dick and Harry is NOT aware of that phrase, that DOESN'T mean that QUID PRO QUO is NOT happening at all.  In fact, every single day from the time you wake up till you hit the sack, you OR myself would have been likely directly involved in a QUID PRO QUO thing in one way OR another.  LIKE there's no home cooked dish and you agree with your spouse/partner that you'll order a food delivery from Uber/Grab💚💛💜

In summary, many times the QUID PRO QUO practice is happening many times during negotiations before a contract is inked but in tons of informal interactions, QUID PRO QUO could happen WHEN you go to the open market for fresh fruits and you start to haggle until eventually, both vendor and buyer would agree for that 'something for something' stuff✅✅✅

Heard of lawyers who offer their pro bono services for indigent clients?  And the client would be creative enough to find ways to reciprocate back to the well-meaning lawyer probably by offering fresh produce harvests or anything their measly sum of monies they can afford.  OR it could at the workplace WHERE one is at loggerheads with a colleague BUT since they belong to the same team, the boss will intervene and find a QUID PRO QUO if only to ensure that operations and deliverables at work are NOT compromised, all thanks to QUID PRO QUO❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  QUID PRO QUO is one of those best practices WHICH can be leveraged either in good faith OR [knock on wood], in bad faith.  And we pray that this thread discourages everyone from leveraging on the QUID PRO QUO practice with the ill intentions.  Instead, let us reap the benefits of practising QUID PRO QUO where predefined formulae or scripts are either NOT applicable OR simply realistic.  Oh yes, within close relationships either within families or your close and trusted coterie of friends, QUID PRO QUO will definitely be one of the hallmarks of such relationships.  If you're an enterprising businessman, we encourage you to practice QUID PRO QUO NOT at the expense of the hapless and helpless consumer OR customers WHO may end up on the receiving end.  And even in geopolitics, let us fervently pray that warring forces in global and regional conflicts will find the most palatable formulae via QUID PRO QUO 😌😌😌

Who Says You're Not Good Enough?

 

Lumping all religions all over our globe, our pursuit of SUCCESS can be likened to even the major religions, like a robust system of meaning-making that sort of operates at both our emotional and cognitive levels, guiding us in our decisions.  Before we get lost with unnecessary verbose, let's discuss those  "GOOD ENOUGH" conversations because I do hear this quite often [amongst relatives and friends], pushing my curiosity to the edges if self-doubt is a factor at all in these recurring "GOOD ENOUGH" questions💚💛💜

Seriously, if there's self-doubt that's been lingering, my curious question is:  WHAT makes us doubt ourselves, sometimes over and over again?  Is it our lack of confidence in ourselves OR other people's opinions about us that we are letting us affect ourselves?  Are we letting those perceptions of others about us, define ourselves?  It is very important to realize that this self-doubt has made us lose on a lot of opportunities that would come our way💥💥💥

WHAT should reinforce our own hopes and beliefs is that we can be absolutely sure that we have enough [OR maybe more than enough] potential within us and therefore it is important to remind ourselves that "WE ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH".  We should recognize our own worth, instead of waiting for others to see our worth.  A subtle realization that should NOT be difficult to grasp is that we are unique in our own special ways.  There can be lots of billionaires and moguls in this world BUT we are NOT far off in the rat race if only we can recognize our self-worth instead of waiting for others to see our worth.  Oh Oh, WHY do we need others for us to know our own worth???

Lest we forget, we have our own strengths, talents and abilities that make us WHO we are.  So it is time [OR long overdue] for us to believe in our abilities and work towards our dreams.  True, it may always be easy BUT with sheer determination and consistent hard work, we may achieve practically anything we will set our mind to achieve.  WHO says that your engine is just GOOD ENOUGH for the next 50 miles?  OR only until your fuel tank goes empty???

Our takeaway:  Being GOOD ENOUGH is a big topic for every human.  Many problems in our lives boil down to the belief that we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  If at all, ask yourself WHERE this grand illusion of you NOT being GOOD ENOUGH has held you back in life and then tell yourself, NO MAS, NO MORE😌😌😌

Slap On The Wrist OR An Iron Fist?

Slap On The Wrist OR An Iron Fist?

Much as we feel that the world WHERE we live in seems harsh and tough, WHAT's blatantly overlooked is that there are more Slaps On The Wrist than An Iron Fist seen OR witnessed flying!@#$%?  We would hear more CAUTIONS and WARNINGS that are broken down from first WARNING to final WARNING.  Frankly, I would welcome such structured escalations as it means, if you committed a misdemeanor, you could be dealt first at the local 'Koban' [the name of local police stations in Japan] before you are brought out to court.  BUT does everything and everyone deserve a SLAP ON THE WRIST instead of an IRON FIST???

There's this age-old practice as well that first infractions, WHATEVER it is, deserve to be meted with a SLAP ON THE WRIST.  I beg to disagree.  WHAT IF that first infraction is a serious offense?  WHAT IF that first exception led to unacceptable consequences [and that's besides talking about impugning a person's character OR causing any other collateral damages?  WHICH leads me to dip my hand into the cookie jars of those socialist states.  Of course, we WON'T give Norh Korea as an example😡😡😡

Heard of that incident WHERE the mother forgot to feed her infant son, WHO eventually starved and died?  She was NOT SLAPPED ON THE WRIST but instead meted with an IRON FIST translated into 65 years in prison.  WHEN the Harvard College Faith in Action [HCFA] was meted with a probation, many protested that it did NOT constitute as a punishment given the gravity of their case❌❌❌

Swinging back to our lives, we need to remain consciously aware that in a fair, just and equitable world, it's NOT even just either a SLAP ON THE WRIST OR an IRON FIST because between those extreme actions, there is a hodge-podge of iterations we need to consider.  And this is as relevant to law and order as it is in our daily lives.  Lesson here is that nothing is either black OR white.  On the other hand, in life, maybe more than 90% of circumstances and scenarios would fall somewhere within gray areas.  WHICH means, there is NO pre-scripted action we can take WHEN we are either wronged OR if it's us WHO caused the wronged.  Instead, the onus is on us to figure out the FINAL FIX [and NOT those palliative remedies good enough within those moments💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  More often in life, a lot of things fall in between cracks, either because of INACTION [by ignoring OR simply looking at the other direction] OR even by actions taken, actions that are either impertinent, inappropriate OR simply an action taken for the sake of taking that step.  Our lesson here is that, WHEN and WHERE we need to slam things with our IRON FIST, as long as that is warranted, then, lower down the boom by all means.  The last thing we want to happen is regretting because of our intentional INACTION😡😡😡

Why Sometimes We Miss Out The 'SHORTEST DISTANCE'?

 

Very early on in my career, I was frequently hesitant to be direct with people, lest they think I am either too aggressive or impolite with my words.  BUT alas, did that ever get beaten out of me in the hard way?  As I was NOT the only one though.  I then realized that culture is a factor [as it is in our local culture, you have to circumvent [and maybe take whole round trip] and gather your strength before having that gumption to SAY WHAT YOU WANT albeit diluted and probably significantly 'watered down'.  SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN 2 POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE💥💥💥

Fast-forward, I have to admit that I did go through that kind of unconscious transformation, from that traditional 'nice guy' to a strong, direct communicator [without being a 'NOT' nice guy though].   True, some leaders have developed a comfort with direct communications.  Some of them speak clearly, saying WHAT they want to say confidently and neither do they mince words nor wrap their words fluff💧💧💧

BUT alas, many leaders still DON'T.  BUT let's NOT drive on that to a fault because indirect communications is the default for most people, so WHEN some of us would want to say something important, sometimes we DON'T get directly to that 'very point'.  Instead, we tend to set ourselves up with a few preceding points OR say almost WHAT we mean to say using many words instead of just the few and essential ones, hoping that the listener will be able to figure out his intended message.  If the other person DOESN'T intuit the speaker's intent by either effort OR sheer magic, that kind of indirect communication will likely lead to resentment OR at the very least, a communication gap💚💛💜

End result?  That communications gap may even lead to that unnecessary frustration and WHICH further obfuscates WHAT's really going on.  In a circus mirror attempt at being nice OR at least being perceived as being nice by NOT saying anything too harsh, the 'INDIRECT' speaker risks saying MANY words, communicating NOTHING and having both parties less connected with each other and with reality, for the effort😴😴😴

Our takeaway:  Let's align here right now.  NOBODY was born knowing HOW to communicate.  We learn HOW to communicate, the words we say, HOW we use OR are used even in silence, HOW directly we approach WHAT we mean, and even HOW we pronounce words.  Bottom line is that indirect communications is NOT just NOT nice BUT ineffective.  Have we forgotten that the SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN 2 POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE???

Wanna Change Someone's Mind? Better NOT Argue!

 

WANNA CHANGE SOMEONE'S MIND?  These days WHEN every gap, every disconnect and every misunderstanding may sometimes end up in an argument [sometimes known as CLASH OF TITANS], it tends to be like a battle for that moral high ground.  Psychologists tried to debug this issue and find a modus vivendi and the sage advice is:  DON'T ARGUE.  Instead, to disarm the other party, INVITE that person for a healthy interchange and initially, self-commit yourself to spend more time LISTENING than talking💚💛💜

Philosophically, experts say that in the middle of arguments, it is NOT far fetched that one of the variables is related to one's beliefs and WHEN beliefs get into the equation, they claim that beliefs tend to be tied up to one's identity, emotion, and even persona.  And in almost all interchanges that eventually escalate into a full-blown clash, people will tend to cling to their respective viewpoints [NO MATTER WHAT]❎❎❎

UNTIL that full-blown argument evolves and escalates to a full-fledged no holds barred confrontation that often backfires because the moment one of the protagonists feels judged [WHETHER prematurely OR not], that party will simply go on 'auto shutdown' mode, hearing and listening NADA and NOTHING.  HOW do we wiggle out of that impasse?  Experts advise that we can lead them into that PATH OF CURIOSITY.  HOW? Ask politely and calmly WHO OR WHERE was his source of that information OR data😌😌😌

In a subtle approach, let's try to reflect their concerns BACK TO THEM, hoping that we can dissect and mine 'shared values' before you start offering your own perspective.  YESsirrrrrs, this is NOT about backing down OR compromising your own principles.  Instead, this is all about creating enough trust for someone to even consider shifting theirs.  BUT human nature tells us that as much as you CAN'T fire with fire OR venom versus poison, WHEN we are in a standoff that still remains civil, this is all about figuring out WHAT OR WHERE is the chink in his armour😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Almost everyone is pitching [including the late Steve Jobs WHEN he launched iTunes for Windows] that arguments all boil down to persuasion and persuasion itself is never about charisma OR authority BUT more on the 'sequencing' of our approach to reach for 'common ground'.  There's that common pitfall, though, WHEN both protagonists never ever hoped to reached a 'common ground' because both parties are so glued to that 'LAST MAN STANDING' mindset WHICH then leads arguments to turn its ugly head. So, WANNA CHANGE SOMEONE'S MIND?  Better NOT Argue, not so fast!!! 

Fewer CHOICES, More HAPPINESS?

 

Fewer CHOICES, MORE HAPPINESS?  I really think so.  We DON'T need to look far away.  Let's relook at our very own selves.  If you step into any of those 7-Eleven, Lawson OR Family Mart convenience stores, do you remember if you spent like half an hour just to buy a specific item?  If I have to bet, one's average total clocktime in the convenience stores will be around 5 to 10 minutes.  Except probably WHEN during our 2-week holiday in Japan WHERE we were awed [and floored, maybe] by the one too many choices of foodies, chocolates and even drinks in most of their branches.  In fact, we always ended up like shopping right then and there.  BUT would you agree, FEWER CHOICES equates to MORE HAPPINESS??? 

In our world WHERE options abound, many assume that more choice equates to more freedom and therefore greater happiness.  Many recent researches increasingly suggests that the opposite may be true.  Fewer choices can actually lead us to a more content and satisfying life.  There's this counterintuitive idea coined by psychologists as the PARADOX OF CHOICE, it was explained that WHEN people are faced with one too many options, we tend to experience greater anxiety that even leads to that so called 'decision fatigue' and eventually regret.  WHILE having some choice is undoubtedly empowering, having too much choice can be mentally exhausting and paralyzing💥💥💥

A lot lab-based studies dissected into that puzzle as to HOW one too many choices can somehow undermine our happiness.  And the conclusion is that WHEN individual are forced to make multiple decisions in a day [LIKE WHAT to wear, WHAT to eat, WHAT to buy], their cognitive resources get depleted.  Ironically, the common conclusion amongst all those studies is that having fewer choices help preserve our mental energy for the decisions that really matter.  Here's some tidbits of information about the late Apples founder Steve Jobs as to WHY he wore the same outfit every day.  NOT out of laziness BUT to minimize trivial decisions and reduce cognitive load.  And another downside of excess choices is our 'post-decision' regret WHEREIN WHEN we have too many choices, we're more likely to imagine that a different choice might have been better.  That 'WHAT IF' mindset erodes our satisfaction.  WHETHER choosing a new smart phone, a car OR even a meal, the more alternatives we consider, the less confident we feel in our decision💚💛💜

Psychologists coined this unique tagging people WHO strive to make the best possible choice as "MAXIMIZERS" as they are easily most prone to this kind of regret and are often less happy overall than "SATISFICERS", WHO are content with a 'good enough' choice.  Simplifying our choices DOESN'T mean giving up our hard-earned freedom to choose.  Rather, it means, being selective about WHERE we devote our decision-making energy.  Practices like spiritual retreats OR minimalist living intentionally reduce our daily choices LIKE WHAT to eat OR do, thus freeing up significant mental space for deeper thought, creativity and even our emotional well-being.  True, small adjustments will go a long way to help.  LIKE if we try going for a 'choice diet', that limits our decision-making in areas of low importance LIKE WHAT to have for lunch OR WHICH brand of toothpaste to buy😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  I always believe in striking that 'right balance' in our decision-making, WITHOUT depriving us OR curtailing our freedom of choices BUT at the same time, WITHOUT pushing us into that involuntary 'analysis-paralysis' dilemma because in today's  hyper-choice culture, happiness may NOT lie in having more options BUT in having just enough and in being confident enough to choose without looking back.  And by simplying our decisions, we can then focus on WHAT truly matters and live more purposefully and achieve that mother of all bottomlines WHICH is HAPPINESS😊😊😊