How Much Do We Value Silence?

As we all live in a world of cacophony, HOW often do we see people really cherishing every minute of SILENCE?  This reminds me way back my school days WHY we had those school-managed retreats.  At hindsight, those retreats gave us that very rare opportunity to reflect on the power of SILENCE and the range of responses it elicits from people. YES, some people still value and embrace SILENCE.  How Much Do We Value Silence???

BUT through the years, I did observe that some people seem really uncomfortable at the prospect of a period of SILENCE.  Oooooops, please allow me to qualify that that scenario is very much different from those households WHERE 'some' immediate family members just criss-cross each other, bumping across the staircase and hallways with nary a word.  That's just an outlier.  Otherwise, on reflections at the end of the silent retreat periods, some people do enjoy and cherish that SILENCE💚💛💜

BUT hey, some DON'T!  YES, it is also possible to look forward to a period of SILENCE only to find you CAN'T engage with I have had that experience in the past.  WHAT does this tell us about the functions of SILENCE?  Clearly, there is power in SILENCE.  Think about those raging arguments that get exacerbated with emotions and voices at the top decibels.  During those scenarios, I am cocksure that everyone is [silently] pleading for SILENCE but the problem is, their emotions get to hostage their own selves no end.  In the end, it seems that in our busy, noisy world, still, many people seem to fear SILENCE💥💥💥

If we listen to researches, they are all one in saying that it is fairly clear that too much noise is bad for us.  BUT does that mean that SILENCE is good for us?  Hmmm, well, I guess NOT necessarily as SILENCE is more than just an absence of noise.  However, those researches concluded by suggesting that SILENCE itself is beneficial both physically and psychologically.  Spending time in SILENCE has been proven to have the positive effects on our body in terms of reducing blood pressure, boosting the immune system and even reducing blood cortisol and promoting hormone regulation and somehow, to quote medical jargon, 'prevention of arterial plaque formation'❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT push too hard to end up with up hard knuckles in the midst of arguments.  WHAT really matters here is that WHILE we know that utter SILENCE is just one sheer outlier, we all need it NOT just under very normal day-to-day circumstances BUT especially WHEN we are in the midst of those hit of anger and boiling emotions.  If there is any referee WHO can successfully call a truce, SILENCE can😀😀😀

Do We Really Need That SNOOZE Button?

 

Do we really that SNOOZE button?  If we do a lookup with Mr. AI's definition, it says that it ALLOWS USERS TO POSTPONE WAKING UP FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.  Oh Oh Oh really?  All along, me thinks that this is utterly unacceptable because the night before, one has firmly decided WHAT time he/she needs to wake up and that timing is most likely aligned with one's priorities and schedules come next day📘📙📗

BUT alas, recent researches seem to shoot down even my perennial apprehension [OR frustration, to be frank] with regard hitting that SNOOZE button.  Amongst more than 1,700+ respondents in a Swedish study, 69% said they hit the SNOOZE button 'SOMETIMES' and 60% admitted that most often OR always, they did fall asleep between alarms, the result being that, on average, SNOOZERS got just a 'little less sleep'💥💥💥

And surprisingly, the top reason for choosing to SNOOZE rather than have an unbroken stretch of sleep was that a person COULDN'T wake up OR was too tired  And the next two most common reasons were that SNOOZING feels good and that it allows a person to wake up more slowly OR softly.  To take a closer look at the impact of SNOOZING, the researchers recruited 31 people to spend several nights in a SLEEP LAB.  And all of them admitted hitting the SNOOZE button several times.  BTW, none of them had sleeping disorders❌❌❌

And WHEN the respondents were told to hit the SNOOZE button, they ended up with six minutes less sleep on average BUT the overall structure of their sleep was the same.  And the participants' cognitive abilities were tested right after they got out of bed and then again 40 minutes later.  And WHEN it came to performance on cognitive tests, testing reaction times and solving math problems, SNOOZING appeared to give advantage😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Although these clinical research showed a slight advantage with regard the cognitive abilities of SNOOZERs, I hate to say this BUT I will NOT peddle and aggressively egg everyone to join the SNOOZERS club because my take here is that, as part of our habit formation [that leads to character building], managing [and disciplining] our time management starts right at the time we rise up every morning.  My take is that the SNOOZE button is there for you to hit IF EVER you are unwell come next morning, right?  Otherwise, DO WE REALLY NEED THAT SNOOZE BUTTON???

One Day It's Too Late

YES YES YES yow, life is too short to live in anticipation of tomorrow.  SO HOW?  We must learn to embrace the urgency of NOW, to seize the moments we have and make the most of them.  Unfortunately, waiting for tomorrow might become our biggest regret because by then, it will be One Day It's Too Late.  If I am nursing any flickering hopes now, it's that hoping we can all express our feelings with maturity, understanding that emotions such as anger, disappointment and even hatred re a natural part of ourselves that cannot be ignored.  We must have that courage to face and deal with emotions openly rather than letting them build up and create inner chaos UNTIL ONE DAY IT'S TOO LATE.  YES, there's NO need to pretend.  Instead, it's better to be honest and firm in stating that we feel , WHAT we want and even WHAT we really reject OR disagree with📗📙📘

True, it is so damn easy [and practically effortless] for us all to fall into that trap of procrastination, believing that there will always be ANOTHER opportunity, ANOTHER day, ANOTHER chance to pursue our own dreams, ANOTHER hope to mend broken OR damaged relationships OR to even express our deepest feelings.  BUT WHAT IF there ISN'T?  WHAT IF the tomorrow we so eagerly anticipate NEVER comes?  WHAT IF the sun NEVER rises?  Then, maybe we could look back, we would be like saying 'I REGRET NOT LISTENING TO MY PARENTS ADVICE, I SHOULD HAVE PAID MORE ATTENTION AND TAKEN LESSONS FROM THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES THEY WERE SHARING TO ME THEN' or maybe IF ONLY I HAND'T RUSHED INTO THAT DECISION, MAYBE I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT PAINFUL MISTAKE' or maybe I REGRET HURTING THE PEOPLE I LOVE, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN WISER IN EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS AND PAYING BETTER ATTENTION TO THEIR FEELINGS AS WELL💚💛💜

How often we could hear expressions anticipating future apprehensions and fears like ONE DAY, IT WILL BE TOO LATE.  IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO TELL THEM THAT WE LOVE THEM.  IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO BEGIN AGAIN.  IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS YOU MOST DESIRE, SO DO THEM NOW, AND DO THEM SOON, BECAUSE NO TOMORROW IS A GUARANTEE but rather that it is just one of the assumptions we make for our own sanity💧💧💧

Let's pause for a minute and think about it.  Often, some of us do take for granted the moments we have, assuming that there will always be another chance to make the things right [from wrong], OR to pursue the passions we always dreamt [but have remained dreams as such] OR to even mend fences with loved ones and even the person you considered as your BFF [best friend forever] tracing back from your elementary school days, whew!!!  Sadly, there are really NO guarantees in life  Tomorrow is NOT promised.  Tomorrow is NEVER etched in stone and the only moment we truly have is the present.  BUT we do hear you, we all live in a world filled with endless [and sometimes complicated and intertwined] distractions, obligations and responsibilities.  Heard of this narrative a zillion times.  A determined son/daughter decides to work as an OFW [overseas foreign worker] to extricate his/her family from the financial doldrums.  That time, he/she was counting that in 2 to 3 years, he/she will come back for good!!!

Alas, those narratives share the same 'endings'.  That hardworking son/daughter ended up working as an OFW for decades and by the time he/she decided to come back home, it was too little too late because by then, knock on wood, he/she was struggling with his/her failing health [after working his/her ass for many decades].  NOT the best story-ending script to read OR listen to BUT this narrative is so commonly heard especially with the 'unsung' heroes from the Third World WHO end up as OFW's for many decades, deprived of enjoying the fruits of his/her labor through the years.  Sadly, ONE DAY IT'S TOO LATE😂😂😂

Your PROBLEMS Should NEVER Be Bigger Than Your PURPOSE

 

True, problems are everywhere anytime in our life.  Worse, for some, even cloudy skies is a problem.  OR that horrendous traffic [whether you are in Mumbai, Lagos OR LA.  BUT dude, if that chronic traffic is a PROBLEM to you and me, are we admitting that PROBLEM becomes a constant [rather than a variable] in our daily life?  C'mon dude, we heard this one-liner many times so I thought let this be our thread at least for today, because  Your PROBLEMS should NEVER be bigger than your PURPOSE📗📙📘

We all heard the U.S. military missions in war-torn areas like Afghanistan and Iraq and we heard of their casualties at war.  As the soldiers always go on an operation in squads OR platoons, heard of that story WHERE almost all soldiers in one mission got killed except for one, WHO lost his leg.  WHEN he went home, his mom reminded him that he could have lost his life BUT instead, "God left him behind for a PURPOSE".  That simple statement from his mom served as his catalyst that helped him turn that challenge into an opportunity to rediscover the meaning and PURPOSE in his life✅✅✅

Despite losing his leg in Iraq, that soldier began his journey in pursuit of the Paralympics games WHICH ultimately resulted in him qualifying for a trip to the London Paralympics.  IF we are inspired by Paralympics athletes as I am, imagine WHAT it takes to overcome disabilities to compete at the highest level.  Simple daily routines that most of us take for granted are often significant obstacles.  BUT WHAT makes me admire these athletes is that they DON'T have time for EXCUSES💚💛💜

This sharing does remind me AGAIN that my very PURPOSE needs to be much greater than my PROBLEMS  In other words, if the reason WHY I am doing something is BIG enough, then we will be able to overcome the challenges and obstacles that may come our way.  If NOT, God knows, we could be consumed with the tons of PROBLEMS and in the end, we can fall into the trap of negativity, complaints and even excuses.  WHICH reminds me of this incisive one-liner:  HE WHO HAS A WHY TO LIVE CAN BEAR ALMOST ANY WHAT".  Well said because that's already a mouthful by its context😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  I realized that of all endeavors, sometimes, sports is just WHAT you need to give you PURPOSE, that reason to overcome, come back OR keep going.  In fact, I haven't heard of a sports man declaring like I GIVE UP.  Instead, for their very much bigger PURPOSE, for them it can be a tool to help us see that challenges re the very thing that brings out the best from ourselves.  For that American ex-soldier WHO lost his leg at war and yet he went over to be at the London Paralympics, it helped him rediscover a greater PURPOSE for his life, to make a difference in the lives of others, to give back in fact.  YES dude, YOUR PROBLEMS SHOULD NEVER BE BIGGER THAN YOUR PURPOSE❌❌❌

WHEN Is It Late To HARD RESET Our Life?

To RESET our life, that's been resonating over and over again with no end.  BUT WHEN is it late to HARD RESET our life?  Even experts agree that that's the more serious question facing us because more often, we hardly spend time and effort to plot out IF and WHEN we need to invoke and press that HARD RESET in our life.  WHY most of us are missing this out is moot and academic at this point in time📗📙📘

Throughout my work in the corporate world, I got so immersed working in the technology space such that more often, there is this [default] mission statement about that 'intersection' of technology and business.  YES, I lived there for donkey years.  Throughout my entire career, that was like my main [default] address.  And at times, I seem to lived in that address more than I lived anywhere else in my life, WHICH somehow did pose a problem for me once I deep-dive into my situation before💥💥💥

BTW, that jargon 'HARD RESET' was very much embedded within my persona from long way back my Day-1 in the techie world.  I remember WHEN even the SME's [subject matter experts] WHO were my 'seniors' then CAN'T fix the problem causing the whole mainframe-based systems to get stalled OR be in that 'hard wait', our 'HARD RESET' option was to RE-IPL [which means Initial Program Load].  So, HARD RESET conforms from the early days of computing, WHERE it becomes one's last card❎❎❎

A word of caution here.  IF and WHEN we so decide to invoke that 'HARD RESET' in our life, similar to WHAT it happens in technology, once we 'HARD RESET', that literally WIPES OUT ALL DATA and returns the state of that device back to the state it was in WHEN it was brand new and that pristine.  BUT invoking the 'HARD RESET' may simply gathering all your courage and decisiveness to take that drastic step BUT there's a mile-long list of questions that follows suit.  LIKE WHAT I would accomplish then?  LIKE WHAT happens next?  LIKE WHAT do I need to do.  So, that 'HARD RESET' is somewhat similar to doing a morning routine WHERE you ask tough questions before diving into work😕😕😕

Our takeaway:  There is NO exact and perfect formula to tell us WHEN should we press that 'HARD RESET'.  No one else BUT you yourself can give the best response [BUT only if you put your mind and heart rolled into one] to come with that informed decision.  Anything triggered by our emotions, impulse or external influences will deny us that singular opportunity to benefit most from that 'HARD RESET'!!!

That Paradox Of LOVE And LETTING GO

 

One debate that has hardly simmered down is about That paradox of LOVE and LETTING GO.  As our primary task of parenting is to prepare our children to take responsibilities for their own lives and letting them go so they become their very own best selves out in the world.  WHAT's interesting is a recent research I stumbled across WHICH said that adults are most likely to report that they express care in their relationships with their teens📗📙📘

Furthermore, that recent study showed that in contrast, they are least likely to report 'sharing power' and expanding possibilities, i.e. those key dynamics of 'letting go'.  In the Malay language [where there's commonalities between Bahasa Indonesia and Tagalog], there's the word 'SAYANG' which means either love OR letting go, depending on one's context.  BUT there's something special about 'SAYANG'!!!

'SAYANG' is intriguing by itself because of its very obvious paradox as it could mean either love OR letting go.  At hindsight, indeed 'SAYANG' is a special form of love.  As someone with the words of affirmation, choice of word is both, a preference and confusion.  So, WHY long for fancy words while being in love?  WHY do we expect sweetness by being in love WHEN all we long for is a simple one?  Acknowledgments and something that ISN'T one-sided after all❎❎❎

Looking at LOVE at a much holistic view, LOVE can be compared to a busy city full of libraries WHERE each relationship represents each unique library.  And every moment in a relationship translates to each sentence in a book.  And with some sentences likened to the walls of a house, holding everything together ELSE it may fall apart.  WHEREAS other little details we remember long after.  YES, sometimes love feels sweet, like finding a favorite book, BUT other times, let's admit it, it can be that damn confusing and frankly, quite dull enough.  And as we go through life's UPs and DOWNs, like it OR not, we will all learn from our experiences and shape the story of our respective relationships😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  I'm still enamored with 'SAYANG' as a Malay word because whether you're an Indonesian, Malaysian OR Filipino, 'SAYANG' carries that profound duality, embodying both affection and sorrow.  It serves as a tender expression of endearment, akin to 'darling' in English WHILE also encapsulating a sense of loss and regret.  YES, 'SAYANG' encapsulates a sense of loss and regret as well even as it represents the complexity of human emotions closely intertwining the joy of LOVE with the pain of separation.  Frankly, it is that whispered 'i love you' amidst the recognition of parting ways, that morning greetings that transforms into an evening farewell💚💛💜

GUARANTEED: Scams Will Keep Knocking On Our Doors

 

NOT to alarm our readership BUT allow me to quote this statistical data from Singapore wherein for 2024 alone, at least SG$ 1.1 Billion was lost to SCAMS!@#$%?  BTW, we're here NOT to simply copy and paste data previously published.  Yesterday, that was Wednesday, August 20th, WHEN I was in the midst of my work [from home], I saw a missed call from a local mobile phone number.  So, I sent an SMS to inquire as to WHO was the caller.  Then, here comes the call purportedly he's from the Head Office of one of my local bankers!@#$%? 

Within the first minute of the call, he mentioned my full name and he mentioned the last 4 digits of my credit card [which was recently delivered like 2 weeks back].  The caller painted a picture of that legitimate proactive bank service provider WHO will volunteer on something you never asked in the first place.  The caller asked me to check if my card has that 3-digit security code at the back and I said 'BUT OF COURSE'.  He then claimed that that was the 'wrong card' and the bank will send the correct version of the credit card???

That's WHEN I hanged-up the call and pronto, I called my bank's RM [Relationship Manager] WHO then took a swift move to permanently block my credit card WHILE in parallel, she instructed me to formally call the hotline for 'fraud' so that everything will be recorded and appropriate logs are done.  WHAT's surprising with that attempted credit card SCAM to me was 2 things: first, that card was very new and secondly, to date, I never used it for any online transaction.  In fact, since it was very new, I used it just twice [to defray local hospital expenses💥💥💥

And the most shocking surprise that hit me during that 'SCAM' call yesterday was that the caller knew the last 4-digits of my credit card WHICH was fairly new [just 2 weeks old WHICH was never used for any online transaction].  WHAT this tells us is that SCAMMERS are on a rampage all over the place.  In Singapore, WHILE SCAMS totaled SG$ 651.8 Million in 2023, it spiked by 70.6% in 2024, balooning to SG$ 1.1 Billion.  Another insight here, even if you live in a legit First World country like Singapore, NEVER be cocky because you might get hit at your unguarded moments😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Even with the increasing AI-based stuff, never be confident that if your transactions are NOT AI-related, you are shielded from all these SCAMS.  NO sirrrrrs.  Even as we speak now, e-Commerce SCAMS remain as the top SCAM everywhere and as per statistical data, that is followed by job SCAMS, phishing SCAMS, investment SCAMS and 'FAKE FRIEND' SCAM calls.  YES dude, SCAMS WILL KEEP KNOCKING ON OUR DOORS!@#$%?

Are We Part Of The Problem Once We Worry?

 

Anyone here WHO's problem-free? Absolutely we have problems even as we speak now.  BUT that's NOT a talking point at all.  WHAT's triggering the ripples from the waters?  Yesirrrrrs may I guess?  WHEN we worry more, that adds to the triggers of those ripples.  Did we realize that we have enough problems in life and the last thing we dread to happen is becoming a part of the problem by topping off all those bunch of problems with our unnecessary worries📗📙📘

Medical experts opine that WORRIES can be thought of as the cognitive component of anxiety.  We tend to WORRY WHEN we AREN'T sure WHAT'S going to happen BUT we think that we may experience a negative event, like a potential flop, failure, loss, illness OR injury.  Yesirrrrrrs, WORRY does represent an attempt to engage in mental problem-solving on an issue WHOSE outcome is uncertain BUT contains the possibility of one OR more negative outcomes.  Then, consequently, WORRY relates closely to our fears💚💛💜

Experts tell us that WHEN we are anxious, it's more on our body, like our heart may start beating than faster, OR our breathing even shortens.  On the other hand, WORRY is more on our head.  It's a kind of mental anguish that most of us experience BUT are comfortable enough to overcome it.  So, WHY WORRY?  Researches on WORRY suggests that it may reduce physiological arousal and negative images by keeping us in that so called 'verbal realm'.  They say that WORRY is left-brain focused and may keep us fixated on the details, preventing us from seeing the big picture itself💥💥💥

Some experts opine that WORRYING may be a way of avoiding the bodily signs of anxiety and stress [LIKE when your heart is beating rapidly] OR negative mental images related to our stressors [LIKE the image of having to sell and move out of your house].  WORRY can also give us that illusion of control over future outcomes [WHICH is nothing less than fiction and a figment of our imagination because that's just NOT true]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Here's a practical reason I stumbled across before.  THAT the reason we hardly live a life with NO WORRIES is because we are trying to take control of WHAT is happening outside.  We tend to overthink and allow those negative thoughts to go inside of us [UNTIL we become a captive of our own undoing].  In the end, we tend NOT to live in the present moment.  Instead, we seem to live in the past 24 hours OR living in the next 24 hours.  Rarely we live in WHAT lies in front of us.  Our fix:  Let's take control of ourselves so we'll BECOME PART OF THE SOLUTION [and NOT A PART OF OUR PROBLEM]😡😡😡

Let's Stop Optimizing Our Life

 

With the lightning pace of technology's changes the past years, let's face it, WHAT humanity faces are NOT the algorithms and that robots and AI will lord it over us and seize power all over us [because that is happening NOW as we speak].  BUT the bigger threat is that eventually we will eventually become indistinguishable from those algorithms and robots.  Sadly, everywhere from digital nomad gurus to the false prophets of productivity, we are egged to optimize ourselves.  Let us stop OPTIMIZING our life📗📙📘

Verily true, we hear OPTIMIZATION at work. And that's very fine because at the workplace, WHAT matters more are productivity, efficiencies, quality and throughput, all rolled into one.  BUT swing it into our life for us to OPTIMIZE it?  C'mon.  WHY do we need to OPTIMIZE every aspect of our existence?  We CAN'T even find carefully scripted routines for our daily mornings [and even our bowel movements]?  WHAT more of OPTIMIZING???

If there is one undeniable fact, it is the fact that there is NO aspect of human life WHICH we couldn't be doing better.  Our smartphones?  They are littered with numerous 'apps' that supposedly will help us either get better OR efficient by sort of turning our life into like a series of 'mini games' and pinging us incessantly [akin to those endless deep-sea 'pingings' trying to locate for tell-tale signs of that tragic MH370 flight💥💥💥

I remember this argumentative statement:  WE'RE SO BUSY STUDYING HOW TO OPTIMIZE OUR LIVES THAT WE NEVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER IF WE SHOULD OPTIMIZE OUR LIVES.  That brings us as unwilling hostages to the misplaced illusion of OPTIMIZATION.  As we all agree, WE ARE WHAT WE ARE.  We do have our chinks in our armor and we'll fix that [OR maybe NOT] BUT the end does NOT justify the means💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Please DON'T get me wrong.  We're all entitled to set bigger and lofty goals in life and that's WHAT really matters.  From there, we thread that long circuitous road [with all the forked roads and even the cul de sacs] as we remain focused towards achieving our goals.  BUT that OPTIMIZATION thing, at best, that will be a distraction and at worst, that MAY throw a 'monkey wrench' on our lifelong journey BUT that's NOT WHAT we want to end up, right?  BTW, many of the tragic failures in life were exacerbated by our own earnest desires [in good faith] to squeeze our own selves high and dry BUT NOT by getting dragged into that OPTIMIZATION riddle dude💚💛💜

Observing But Not Absorbing

 

Famous Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw was widely quoted:  "NEVER WRESTLE WITH A PIG, YOU'LL GET DIRTY AND BESIDES, THE PIG LIKES IT THAT WAY".  Exactly dude.  NOT to bad-mouth the pig itself, the parallelism here can be drawn with narcissists because studies show that they have that edge to control and influence their partner.  From an analogy, WHEN the innocent partner steps into the world of a narcissist, that is tagged as analogous to ingesting toxins.  And thinking logically, WHEN we drink something toxic, we may feel ill.  Similarly, WHEN we let the narcissist bring us into their world, experts tell us that likely we'll lose our emotional control.  Think about Observing BUT NOT absorbing📗📙📘

The thing is, we can ONLY control WHAT's controllable.  BUT that's NOT the point.  The perils here start to surface WHEN we end up getting controlled of something WHERE we can have the gumption to resist and even counter.  LIKE WHEN someone is throwing tantrums, you DON'T cast stone to a stone thrower.  It just DOESN'T work that way.  Best way?  Avoid it.  WHERE you are unable to avoid, figure out WHY you are being stoned at?  BUT for you to get dragged into it, with your emotions even showing up the ugly side, you can even end up as the culprit rather than the hapless and innocent victim at that😔😔😔

WHAT do the experts counsel us?   We are advised to kind of 'detach' ourselves from the antagonist and simply put, we are advised to watch and observe and as long as you can keep your 'safe distance', it will be far fetched to think that you will get dragged especially emotionally.  There is a clinical explanation as to WHAT happens WHEN we succumb to such a situation as we will end up unwittingly participating in that 'dysfunctional' interaction and end up losing control.  By then, we will be hard pressed to properly protect ourselves within the so called 'healthy boundaries'.  In essence, WHAT the messaging resonating from the experts is for us to end up in a 'healthy dissociation'.  As the old cliche goes, THERE ARE NO TYRANTS WHERE THERE ARE NO SLAVES.  Do we see the parallelism there???

Studies show that there is a big chunk of researches WHICH proved that generally, we struggle and end up instead succumbing to the clutches of the 'predator'.  HOW can we counter that?  We are encouraged to repeat an affirmation to our own selves LIKE 'I AM STRONG AND IN CONTROL'.  Blurting that one-liner will hardly help if you say it simply for the sake of toeing the line.  Instead, we are encouraged to repeat that affirmation over and over during those touchy moments.  By doing this, studies proved that 90% DON'T fall like a victim and instead, they remain in control and very much 'secure' within their personal boundaries.  Put it in another blunt way, there are NO manipulators IF NO ONE wants or allows his OR her own self to be manipulated❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  The toughest 'wild card' to deal with in our life are those emotions.  WHEN emotions start to fly and lord over us, things can go south pretty fast and quick.  HOW to counter emotions on the loose?  We are advised to keep an even tone, preferably in a low volume WHILE breathing deeply.  And we are advised that that is critical if we want to stay detached from the enveloping argument.  And it also helps to figure out HOW and WHAT's the easiest way for you to get and feel relaxed.  Some will light up a cigarette.  Some will take a shot of vintage wine.  And staying connected to our body will significantly help prevent us from absorbing those toxins that will only lead to perilous stress and worse, anxiety.  YES dude, let us endeavor to OBSERVE BUT NOT ABSORBING or getting ABSORBED💥💥💥