[Whether You're GAME or Not] We're In This GAME Of LIFE

[Whether You're GAME or Not] We're In This GAME Of LIFE

I hope this is a no-brainer.  Whether You're GAME or Not,  We're In This GAME Of LIFE.  Luckily for us, most RULES of the GAME are defined and laid out crystal clear enough way before the games commence.  That's just fair and square.  BUT WHAT IF someone changes the rules in the middle of the game OR transaction and in the end, putting you at a disadvantage?  Yes, we're all creatures of habit WHO like to establish routines that are comfortable and that we feel that we control.  We live and base decisions based on those habits and the rules as they exist.  At some point, though, nearly all of us realize that we're NOT in control of as much as we desire.  In addition, experience RULES change either by law, by court edict OR some other force way beyond our control📗📙📘

Factually, the sports arena is NOT the only place where game-changing plays are made.  We make them in business deals, in our career, in relationships, through innovations, strategic visions and more.  Even in the non-profit world, lives are dedicated to 'CHANGING'  the game in areas that need it most.  Experts counsel us that in the middle of the 'GAMES IN LIFE', the most basic questions we need to ask ourselves are 'WHAT GAME AM I PLAYING?' and 'HOW IS MY CURRENT GAME SHAPING THE WAY I SHOW UP AND THE ACTIONS I TAKE?'  Once we identify the 'GAME' we're playing, we can go even further to ask ourselves questions like 'WHAT ARE THE RULES OF THE GAME?'💦💦💦

Such questions can begin to illuminate WHAT is running us in the background.  Only when we see the game we are already playing, can we choose to create a different game.  This is an important capacity both in our personal lives and even as leaders.  There was this one-liner which says, 'CHANGE THE GAME, AND THE GAME CHANGES YOU'.  And frankly, let's admit that we are all creatures of habit WHO like to establish ROUTINES comfortable to us💥💥💥

It's true we live based on the rules of our country, city, local authority, employer, family, culture and maybe possibly more.  We make decisions that will benefit us and our family based on these rules.  BUT sometimes CHANGES made in the RULES we live by happen suddenly and with little OR no notice.  At a minimum, they disrupt our routine and force us to adapt to return to a comfortable life💧💧💧

Our takeaway.  WHEN rules CHANGE in the middle of the game of life, it DOESN'T mean that we SHOULDN'T play OR strive to achieve our goals and dreams.  It DOESN'T mean that we should anticipate unexpected changes, prepare for different alternatives, recognize CHANGE as early as possible and adapt to the CHANGES in order to minimize loss and maximize success.  The difference can be described as NOT playing out of a fear of loss, NOT playing and taking risks without a complete understanding of the game BUT playing the game taking calculated risks to improve our likelihood of success❗❗❗

How Far Can You Go?

How Far Can You Go?

How Far Can You Go?  How long will it take?  Ironically, these two interrogative statements represent two different mindsets.  So, my question is, WHICH one do you fall into?  MAYBE you fall into one in some situations and into the other in different circumstances.  Either way, it is a good REALITY CHECK to ask yourself as to which mindset is active.  You might retort, WHAT's the difference between the two?  HOW FAR CAN YOU GO is all about potential and possibilities.  On the other hand, HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE means that you DON'T have much time and you're probably hoping that that process DOESN'T take too much of the time either.  Early in life, OR to be precise when I was about to graduate from High School, I confronted myself with the following questions.  WHERE do I want to go in life?  WHAT direction do I take?  HOW FAR CAN I GO?

The first question I asked myself was the toughest.  Think about driving a long main highway way before Waze and Google Map were even conceptualized.  So you keep driving till you reach an intersection, and then you start asking yourself which of the three directions will you choose.  That remains the most crucial decision because your fate will be tied to that decision [and more often, there is no turning back, because in life, there is NO UNDO [unlike the functions offered by technologies]

Once I managed to hurdle that first question, the second question was kind of a bonus one because  it is closely hinged to the first question.  BUT here's the catch, having decided WHERE to go in life and WHAT direction to take are separate and distinct questions.  WHY?  Because more often, there are two OR more alternatives towards reaching a goal.  It's akin to scratching your back, you can opt for your left OR right hand.  BUT the decision-point hinges on the best optimized option

BUT the thing, life is really simple BUT many of us [and that includes me sometime in the past], we make things complicated.  We would scratch an itchy part with our left hand in a most uncomfortable manner WHEN all we need to do is to comfortably scratch with our right hand.  Many times in the past, on a first person basis, I was fully aware of the visionary plans of people in their lives.  BUT when I touched base with them many years later, it was frustrating to find them stuck WHERE I last saw them [in life].  WHY they got stalled is unfathomable BUT again, much as we DON'T want to dwell on the past and we are discouraged to keep dreaming of the future, we got to focus the present moment

Our takeaway:  Many times, WHAT stops us, WHAT stalls us is our very own self, our mindset.  And our brain is smart enough to recognize that.  IF you tell yourself that NO WAY you will learn driving because you can't withstand the daily chronic traffic gridlock in your city, I'll bet my last $20 that absolutely you will NOT learn driving up to speed.  In the simplest terms, HOW FAR YOU CAN GO solely hinges on yourself.  True, there are external variables BUT more often, we are our own worst enemy.  We can point our fingers to all directions BUT the BUCK STOPS on us, period.  WHO claims that they have done their darn best even WHEN they fell flat on their face?  Think about it, HOW FAR CAN YOU GO??? 

Slowing Down In Life

Slowing Down In Life

SLOWING DOWN In Life is something hardly thought OR worse, even spoken OR considered at all.  WHY?  Because NO ONE has thought about it.  Because NO ONE is aware of that creeping problem.  Because NO ONE gets to realize the implications of the frenetic pace we go through everyday.  Because even if one realizes it, NO ONE thinks that it is a problem in the first place.  And that's where our problem lies and this time, we CAN'T look the other way📗📙📘

So, do you feel like you're constantly running on that treadmill of life?  NOT quite sure HOW to take a break OR stop feeling like you always have to be doing something.   I totally agree that it's NOT that easy to slow down because I've BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  BUT hey, do we realize that it turns out that SLOWING DOWN is exactly WHAT we need to do in the first place?  SLOWING DOWN is NOT just good for our own well-being BUT ti can also help us feel less stressed while accomplishing more every day💧💧💧

Our dilemma is that SLOWING DOWN is as simple as 1-2-3 BUT what does it mean exactly?  It DOESN'T have to mean that we literally do things SLOWER [although it's true we might walk SLOWER or give ourselves more time to make a decision.  BUT when people talk about SLOWING down, they're often referring to the idea that we cram too many unimportant things each day❎❎❎

A concrete example is WHEN our minds are speeding, our performance and effectiveness gets slower OR weaker.  BUT hey, it's NOT 'being SLOW' that we're seeking necessarily.  BUT rather it is the feeling that we have the time to do the things that matter most.  Sure we can handle our daily tasks, we DON'T feel stressed and we feel like we always have that time to rest, be present and enjoy the good things in life.  THAT explains why SLOWING DOWN only partially means we need to go SLOW.  Instead, it's more about teaching ourselves how to TURN OFF that 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' response and instead create the life we want, an intentional act with purpose✅✅✅

Our takeaway?  In our life today, we are ALWAYS encouraged to be busy and even MULTITASK yet in the end, most of us feel that incessant pressure to perform OR at least look like we're performing right in front our boss [even if that means masking exhaustion with caffeine and sugar].  BUT that feeling of 'time urgency' actually leads us to perform even worse.  BTW, FASTER DOES NOT MEAN BETTER.  SLOWING DOWN in life is giving JUSTICE to our life, dude❗❗❗

That MOTIVATIONAL TRAP !

That MOTIVATIONAL TRAP !

MOTIVATION sounds it's just around the corner for us to pick it up.  TRUE and FALSE.  MOTIVATION  is a psychological idea that works as a stimulus and compels people to take an ACTION.  In a way, it is a process of persuading someone to behave and act in a specific manner.  In short, MOTIVATION works as a force to set the goals or objectives based upon the things you feel you should be doing.  BUT there is That MOTIVATIONAL TRAP ❗❗❗

Usually, the goals that trigger our MOTIVATION are based upon your own desires, needs and hopes [regardless if all those stuff are CORRECT or BAD enough].  BUT the thing is, the required force or stimulation is needed to take the ACTION.  Indeed, MOTIVATION is a buzzword these days and the content related to this is really available to us [all over the place, so to speak].  So, let's do a SELF PULSE CHECK.  Do you wait to feel MOTIVATED to something❓❓❓

Frankly, IF ever you are waiting to have that MOTIVATION feeling, NOT to scare you but it's likely you will potentially fall in a MOTIVATIONAL TRAP.  So, WHAT really is that MOTIVATIONAL TRAP?  That's WHEN you literally WAIT to feel MOTIVATED before taking any action and at times, people spend hours watching MOTIVATIONAL videos and similar content in order to take action💧💧💧

The PROBLEM with this [BAD] habit is that you end up wasting so much time in such activities than spending that time in REAL action and in the end, it just worsens WHEN you DON'T take any action even after that [episode of WAITING].  On the other hand, for the people WHO take committed action, MOTIVATION comes later.  Have you felt one time before WHEN you felt lazy doing something BUT once you were into it, ACTION just happens❗❗❗

That committed action OR we can tag as that VALUED action leads then to MOTIVATION.  Because VALUED actions are consistent with our life's VALUES.  And if you VALUE being healthy, you must take committed action to follow a routine regardless of mood OR MOTIVATION level.  Our takeaway:  Let us NOT keep waiting for any form of MOTIVATION to kick-in.  Bluntly and frankly, let's 'kick our butts out' [pardon for this expression] for us to avoid THAT MOTIVATIONAL TRAP@#$?

We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

 We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

Much as we hate FAILUREs and we DON'T want it, We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period.  I have to admit there is no single dissenting opinion here in as much we all like and need SUCCESS and NOT those FAILURES.  BUT dude, FAILURES happen day-in day-out, to anyone, to everyone.  No such thing where there is an immunity from FAILURES, whether you are the Elon Musk, Bill Gates or just any Tom, Dick and Harry.  That explains WHY WE NEED FAILURES📗📙📘

WHY?  Because FAILURES are the stepping stones to SUCCESS.  We got so many teachers in life BUT the #1 teacher are our FAILURES in life.  It is one of the things to deal with which happens with us frequently in life.  BUT it is very important in life because it teaches us to learn more and try more [that is IF we want to heed the LESSONS arising from FAILURES].  True, FAILURES can make us feel ineffective, inadequate, isolated OR insecure.  FAILURES are that normal and are part and parcel of life which should be dealt with POSITIVELY📌📌📌

From FAILURES, the lessons about our very own shortcomings should be taken into account for better future performance.  We can always learn from our past mistakes and FAILURES and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURES make us much wiser, more mature, determined and courageous enough to achieve our goals down the road.  Quite often, one solitary FAILURE can teach us one too many lessons as compared to any lessons we can pick up out of a SUCCESS we achieved💢💢💢

So, we can always learn from our past mistakes and failures and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURE makes us wiser, MORE mature, determined and courageous to achieve our goals.  Often, a single FAILURE teaches us many things than a SUCCESS does.  Surely, it is fine to FAIL in life sometimes [because that is a FACT of LIFE] and that is how we get to taste the essence of SUCCESS.  When FAILURES come in life, it teaches us some great life lessons and it helps us to build our resilience and character and motivates us more💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  If we are NOT facing FAILURES, frankly, it means you are NOT living life because that's pure and simple baloney.  If we DON'T FAIL in life, then we will NOT be able to taste the essence of SUCCESS and it is necessary to FAIL in life once in a while to pave the way for us to go towards achieving our goals in life.  Factually, FAILURES can actually lead to SUCCESS if we learn and grow from it✅✅✅

Consistency It Is

Consistency It Is

Most of us [and that includes moi] have experienced NEGATIVITY in life and have gone through phases where we were CONSISTENT in doing only one thing and that is to PROCRASTINATE.  And if this is the present reality in your life, NOT to despair because you are NOT alone.  Difficult and dark as it may appear now, frankly that situation does NOT leave you at the farthest end of that super dark tunnel.  Truth is, light and hope are waiting just around the corner.   Consistency It Is📗📙📘

Hearing and reading from all the researches, WHAT should we do then?  Experts assure us that all that it needs is a LITTLE CHANGE in one's approach.  In short, it's NOT a major overhaul.  Of course, we are so vulnerable to fall prey to that habit of PROCRASTINATION or getting DISTRACTED by trivial and unimportant affairs of daily chores in life.  BUT experts advise us that building a benchmark for CONSISTENCY is NOT rocket science.  It can be done💥💥💥

And the biggest CHALLENGE all share to have been facing in life is HOW to take the first few steps towards being POSITIVE, STEADY and CONSISTENT in all life situations.  BUT rather than reinvent the wheel, let's piggy-back on WHAT the experts have shared: 

• MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT DREAMING - First things first, we DON'T want to be aiming for goals that are more DREAMS than REALITY

• BREAK DOWN YOUR GOALS - To achieve your GOALS is akin to having a road trip to your favorite destination.  We need milestones to reassure us whether the path we're taking is the correct one
• SPLIT YOUR GOALS - By segmenting your efforts and tasks, you are able to identify each of the ground-level tasks 
• BE ORGANIZED & SYSTEMATIC - This is very basic.  Clear the clutter on your desk

• REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU STARTED - Keep your goals in sight.  Write them down and pin them to your desk
• CONSTANTLY TALK TO YOUR PARTNER - This is so basic.  Your PARTNER is someone who is accountable to your well-being and encourages you to work towards your dreams.  BTW, your PARTNER could anyone be in your family, a trusted friend OR your confidant OR your bestie/bff

Our takeaway:  LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT.  There is NO such thing as a BIG BANG Theory.  That explains why that theory remains a theory because CONSISTENCY IT IS💧💧💧

Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles

Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles

MORE than our assets, MORE than our properties, MORE than our wealth, if any of those stuff will crumble or dissipate, it will need gargantuan efforts for the REBUILD but WHERE TRUST crumbles, Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles will be a long, arduous road to trek with no guarantees that you will be able to successfully REBUILD the TRUST that crumble.  BTW, that REBUILD will and does NOT require all the monies at all📗📙📘

Have you ever found yourself lost in thoughts and queries WHEN you know TRUST issues are present, and wished upon wish that someone, something would come along and tie up all the answers in one nice, neat little package?  Thing is, WHEN TRUST crumbles down and collapses, there will be a disruption between levels of CONFIDENCE and CONTROL.  For alignment, let's understand its very core which refers to that BELIEF that someone OR something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc💧💧💧

Once TRUST is breached OR compromised, obviously, our common step is to be in that RECOVERY mode, to REBUILD TRUST.  BUT HOW?  Let's think of your closes relationships.  Do you TRUST them as much as you do now as WHEN you first met them?  Likely NOT.  So, it becomes imperative that we need to be focused to REGAIN and/or REBUILD that TRUST even over time, as long as it matters most✅✅✅

First things first though.  Prior to taking that first step to REGAIN and/or REBUILD TRUST, let us align and understand the basics of HOW to gain TRUST, which roughly means, TRUST is multi-faceted, and that consistency and TRUST have a direct relationship, and that TRUST & CONTROL have an inverse relationship.  First off, TRUST is dimensional.  You can TRUST someone in one area BUT NOT another.  Additionally, there are areas in your life that are easier for you to TRUST📌📌📌

Our takeaway?  We build TRUST WHEN we see in others WHAT we deem as desired behaviors and attitudes.  They think and act in the desired 'WAY'.  BTW, that 'WAY' is individually defined.  Even in our personal lives, we build TRUST with others WHEN we experience a pattern of consistent and desired behaviors and attitudes in others.  As soon as we stop seeing that consistency, TRUST diminishes [either gradually OR even in a 'big bang' thing].  Worst of all, if we never experience that consistency, there's NO way to build/rebuild that TRUST at all❌❌❌

Raise The Bar

Raise The Bar

To Raise The Bar has also been quite a contentious topic to cover.  Moreover, for many of us, taking a LEAP seems paralyzing.  We do all have private interests and goals BUT they feel a bit bigger than our britches.  After all, WHO are we to DREAM BIG?  It is this line of thinking that keeps us SMALL and keeps us far from reaching our goals.  So, HOW do we go about this?  Let's STOP ignoring the nagging feeling that you should be doing something else📗📙📘

WHAT else can we do?  Can we be bold enough to RAISE THE BAR for yourself and pursue your BIGGER and HIGHER goal?  True, WHEN setting clear GOALS and OBJECTIVES, many of us struggle to improve their circumstances because they DON'T set clear GOALS or objectives.  So, HOW can you expect to move forward WHEN you DON'T know WHERE you're going, in the first place?  Having a target to set your sights on makes aiming a heck of a lot easier✅✅✅

A quick sampling of RAISING THE BAR:

• Starting next month, I'll increase my monthly savings from 2% to 5% of my salary
• I will reduce my travel time from home to office from 2 hours to 1 hour by leaving home 6am
• We will reduce our payables from 30% to 20% of my monthly salary effective next month

Our takeaway?  It DOESN'T matter WHAT your goal is.  Make it CRYSTAL CLEAR enough so you can pursue it with certainty.  Imagine chasing for goals that are vague and ambiguous, LIKE I want to be more successful.  LIKE I want to be a better person.  LIKE I want to be much happier.  Let's go back to SMART GOALS, e.g. SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC and TIME-BOUND💧💧💧

Just for a quick share.  In my workplace, RAISING THE BAR is my default best practice.  We could have a 2% SLA for defects and errors but even if we achieve below 2%, for us, that is NOT good enough because it still reflects defects and errors.  In a nutshell, it makes sense that RAISING THE BAR is embedded in one's life because very likely, in any endeavor you will pursue, RAISING THE BAR is a must💥💥💥

You Win Some, You Lose Some

You Win Some, You Lose Some

The battle in life is a long-drawn affair for us all, what with the relentless challenge upon challenges thrown at us,, day after day.  Yet, let's admit it, there are SUNNY MOMENTS in each day, or most days, which cause us to smile and feel blessed.   Yes,You Win Some, You Lose Some.  As we learned through all kinds of experiences in life, as LIFE is like rolling UP and DOWN all kinds of hills and mountains, we got to be TEACHABLE because the terrains vary and differ📗📘📙

And I've seen it with my naked eyes HOW some people would WIN, some would LOSE and bounce back from such LOSSES and some WHO are never able to recover at all.  WHAT's the difference then?  I read it right from respected American author John Maxwell that the difference lies in HUMILITY.  You might get confused, WHAT is it in HUMILITY that it becomes the factor WHEN one ends up to swim OR sink💎💎💎

WHAT HUMILITY does for you, it gives you perspective.  HUMILITY does NOT mean that you think less of you.  BUT instead, it means you think of yourself less.  And it will allow you to look at the bigger picture.  And besides, as HUMILITY enables you to admit a mistake, it is from there WHERE you can learn and grow.  And it allows you then to let go of perfectionism💧💧💧

So, WHAT explains why for some to LOSE [or FAIL], yet they DON'T struggle to recover back from that LOSE?  Experts have a curt reply.  WHEN we accept that life is HARD, we will grow with life itself.  This explains why successful people DON'T shy away from difficulties.  Instead, they learn to face them and move ahead in spite of those difficulties❎❎❎

Our takeaway?  Let's consider this perspective wherein instead of fearing difficulties, we welcome it as a TEST of character and use them to rise to the occasion.  I remember this hard-punching one-liner: "EITHER YOU DEAL WITH WHAT IS REALITY OR YOU CAN BE SURE THAT THE REALITY IS GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU".  In brief, facing reality and accepting the problem will NOT conquer it BUT it is the very first step to overcoming it.  And experts do encourage us to realistically rate the performance independently of WHETHER you WIN or LOSE.  And life is definitely harder for those WHO stop growing and learning.  So, whether we WIN SOME or LOSE SOME, let's take both as part of our journey!!!

GUESS HOW MUCH?

GUESS HOW MUCH?

Awhile ago, I passed behind my wife who was scrolling her FB and what caught me was what she was watching that time, American actor/comedian Jimmy O Yang said his mom's fav catch phrase was: GUESS HOW MUCH?  And threw me up with a long list of GUESS HOW MUCH questions. LIKE, GUESS HOW MUCH have you gone so far?  GUESS HOW MUCH you have been of value to your loved ones?  GUESS HOW MUCH are you deemed successful to date?  GUESS HOW MUCH more you need to change anything within yourself?  GUESS HOW MUCH have you realized if you have hit the ceiling of WHAT goals you pre-set?  GUESS HOW MUCH you have been of help not just to your loved ones BUT to your colleagues either in your business OR workplace

You might wonder, at WHAT point in your life should you rattle off with yourself this bunch of GUESS HOW MUCH questions?  My curt advice.  As soon as you graduate from college/university OR as soon as you finish up schooling.  WHY?  This will be part of your optional CHECKPOINTS in life.  BUT if you ask me, I WON'T tag this as OPTIONAL but instead MANDATORY.  WHY?  This is for you.  WHY scrimp on time & effort to CHECKPOINT yourself?

Frankly, I did ask myself this GUESS HOW MUCH question at every CHECKPOINT in my life and if I have to rewind my life, surely I'll go through that CHECKPOINT cycle over again because it gave me tons and tons of benefits.  As a post mortem from those GUESS HOW MUCH questions, I was able to have the following realizations:

• WHAT steps I embarked which are missteps that need to be corrected and rectified
• HOW did I handle doing some steps where the impact to either my loved ones or colleagues could have been contained
• WHEN did I take certain steps where I could have improved things with a better timing
• WHERE could I have done things much better

The thing is, let's apply INVERSION THINKING here.  WHAT IF I DIDN'T tweak and tune the things I was doing?  WHAT IF I DIDN'T realize my shortfalls and miscues then? WHAT IF I DIDN'T recognize my imperfections at that time WHAT IF I DIDN'T agree that there are improvement areas 

WHAT IF I DIDN'T realize that there are realizations in life

WHAT IF I DIDN'T acknowledge the need to correct myself

WHAT IF I DIDN'T exert efforts to correct my imperfections

WHAT IF I DIDN'T accept a need to run checkpoint like this

WHAT IF I DIDN'T believe that nothing is cast in stone

WHAT IF I DIDN'T become receptive to changes 

Our takeaway?  Yes, in our lives, NOTHING is really cast in stone.  Regardless of your best intentions combined with your capability, there will be tweaks and tunings that will improve your lot along the way.  The worst thing is for one to resist [and I'd like to call it, to be damn STUBBORN] from all these compelling reasons to CHECKPOINT oneself from time to time and ask, GUESS HOW MUCH❓❓❓