We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

 We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

Much as we hate FAILUREs and we DON'T want it, We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period.  I have to admit there is no single dissenting opinion here in as much we all like and need SUCCESS and NOT those FAILURES.  BUT dude, FAILURES happen day-in day-out, to anyone, to everyone.  No such thing where there is an immunity from FAILURES, whether you are the Elon Musk, Bill Gates or just any Tom, Dick and Harry.  That explains WHY WE NEED FAILURES📗📙📘

WHY?  Because FAILURES are the stepping stones to SUCCESS.  We got so many teachers in life BUT the #1 teacher are our FAILURES in life.  It is one of the things to deal with which happens with us frequently in life.  BUT it is very important in life because it teaches us to learn more and try more [that is IF we want to heed the LESSONS arising from FAILURES].  True, FAILURES can make us feel ineffective, inadequate, isolated OR insecure.  FAILURES are that normal and are part and parcel of life which should be dealt with POSITIVELY📌📌📌

From FAILURES, the lessons about our very own shortcomings should be taken into account for better future performance.  We can always learn from our past mistakes and FAILURES and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURES make us much wiser, more mature, determined and courageous enough to achieve our goals down the road.  Quite often, one solitary FAILURE can teach us one too many lessons as compared to any lessons we can pick up out of a SUCCESS we achieved💢💢💢

So, we can always learn from our past mistakes and failures and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURE makes us wiser, MORE mature, determined and courageous to achieve our goals.  Often, a single FAILURE teaches us many things than a SUCCESS does.  Surely, it is fine to FAIL in life sometimes [because that is a FACT of LIFE] and that is how we get to taste the essence of SUCCESS.  When FAILURES come in life, it teaches us some great life lessons and it helps us to build our resilience and character and motivates us more💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  If we are NOT facing FAILURES, frankly, it means you are NOT living life because that's pure and simple baloney.  If we DON'T FAIL in life, then we will NOT be able to taste the essence of SUCCESS and it is necessary to FAIL in life once in a while to pave the way for us to go towards achieving our goals in life.  Factually, FAILURES can actually lead to SUCCESS if we learn and grow from it✅✅✅

Consistency It Is

Consistency It Is

Most of us [and that includes moi] have experienced NEGATIVITY in life and have gone through phases where we were CONSISTENT in doing only one thing and that is to PROCRASTINATE.  And if this is the present reality in your life, NOT to despair because you are NOT alone.  Difficult and dark as it may appear now, frankly that situation does NOT leave you at the farthest end of that super dark tunnel.  Truth is, light and hope are waiting just around the corner.   Consistency It Is📗📙📘

Hearing and reading from all the researches, WHAT should we do then?  Experts assure us that all that it needs is a LITTLE CHANGE in one's approach.  In short, it's NOT a major overhaul.  Of course, we are so vulnerable to fall prey to that habit of PROCRASTINATION or getting DISTRACTED by trivial and unimportant affairs of daily chores in life.  BUT experts advise us that building a benchmark for CONSISTENCY is NOT rocket science.  It can be done💥💥💥

And the biggest CHALLENGE all share to have been facing in life is HOW to take the first few steps towards being POSITIVE, STEADY and CONSISTENT in all life situations.  BUT rather than reinvent the wheel, let's piggy-back on WHAT the experts have shared: 

• MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT DREAMING - First things first, we DON'T want to be aiming for goals that are more DREAMS than REALITY

• BREAK DOWN YOUR GOALS - To achieve your GOALS is akin to having a road trip to your favorite destination.  We need milestones to reassure us whether the path we're taking is the correct one
• SPLIT YOUR GOALS - By segmenting your efforts and tasks, you are able to identify each of the ground-level tasks 
• BE ORGANIZED & SYSTEMATIC - This is very basic.  Clear the clutter on your desk

• REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU STARTED - Keep your goals in sight.  Write them down and pin them to your desk
• CONSTANTLY TALK TO YOUR PARTNER - This is so basic.  Your PARTNER is someone who is accountable to your well-being and encourages you to work towards your dreams.  BTW, your PARTNER could anyone be in your family, a trusted friend OR your confidant OR your bestie/bff

Our takeaway:  LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT.  There is NO such thing as a BIG BANG Theory.  That explains why that theory remains a theory because CONSISTENCY IT IS💧💧💧

Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles

Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles

MORE than our assets, MORE than our properties, MORE than our wealth, if any of those stuff will crumble or dissipate, it will need gargantuan efforts for the REBUILD but WHERE TRUST crumbles, Rebuilding TRUST After It Crumbles will be a long, arduous road to trek with no guarantees that you will be able to successfully REBUILD the TRUST that crumble.  BTW, that REBUILD will and does NOT require all the monies at all📗📙📘

Have you ever found yourself lost in thoughts and queries WHEN you know TRUST issues are present, and wished upon wish that someone, something would come along and tie up all the answers in one nice, neat little package?  Thing is, WHEN TRUST crumbles down and collapses, there will be a disruption between levels of CONFIDENCE and CONTROL.  For alignment, let's understand its very core which refers to that BELIEF that someone OR something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc💧💧💧

Once TRUST is breached OR compromised, obviously, our common step is to be in that RECOVERY mode, to REBUILD TRUST.  BUT HOW?  Let's think of your closes relationships.  Do you TRUST them as much as you do now as WHEN you first met them?  Likely NOT.  So, it becomes imperative that we need to be focused to REGAIN and/or REBUILD that TRUST even over time, as long as it matters most✅✅✅

First things first though.  Prior to taking that first step to REGAIN and/or REBUILD TRUST, let us align and understand the basics of HOW to gain TRUST, which roughly means, TRUST is multi-faceted, and that consistency and TRUST have a direct relationship, and that TRUST & CONTROL have an inverse relationship.  First off, TRUST is dimensional.  You can TRUST someone in one area BUT NOT another.  Additionally, there are areas in your life that are easier for you to TRUST📌📌📌

Our takeaway?  We build TRUST WHEN we see in others WHAT we deem as desired behaviors and attitudes.  They think and act in the desired 'WAY'.  BTW, that 'WAY' is individually defined.  Even in our personal lives, we build TRUST with others WHEN we experience a pattern of consistent and desired behaviors and attitudes in others.  As soon as we stop seeing that consistency, TRUST diminishes [either gradually OR even in a 'big bang' thing].  Worst of all, if we never experience that consistency, there's NO way to build/rebuild that TRUST at all❌❌❌

Raise The Bar

Raise The Bar

To Raise The Bar has also been quite a contentious topic to cover.  Moreover, for many of us, taking a LEAP seems paralyzing.  We do all have private interests and goals BUT they feel a bit bigger than our britches.  After all, WHO are we to DREAM BIG?  It is this line of thinking that keeps us SMALL and keeps us far from reaching our goals.  So, HOW do we go about this?  Let's STOP ignoring the nagging feeling that you should be doing something else📗📙📘

WHAT else can we do?  Can we be bold enough to RAISE THE BAR for yourself and pursue your BIGGER and HIGHER goal?  True, WHEN setting clear GOALS and OBJECTIVES, many of us struggle to improve their circumstances because they DON'T set clear GOALS or objectives.  So, HOW can you expect to move forward WHEN you DON'T know WHERE you're going, in the first place?  Having a target to set your sights on makes aiming a heck of a lot easier✅✅✅

A quick sampling of RAISING THE BAR:

• Starting next month, I'll increase my monthly savings from 2% to 5% of my salary
• I will reduce my travel time from home to office from 2 hours to 1 hour by leaving home 6am
• We will reduce our payables from 30% to 20% of my monthly salary effective next month

Our takeaway?  It DOESN'T matter WHAT your goal is.  Make it CRYSTAL CLEAR enough so you can pursue it with certainty.  Imagine chasing for goals that are vague and ambiguous, LIKE I want to be more successful.  LIKE I want to be a better person.  LIKE I want to be much happier.  Let's go back to SMART GOALS, e.g. SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC and TIME-BOUND💧💧💧

Just for a quick share.  In my workplace, RAISING THE BAR is my default best practice.  We could have a 2% SLA for defects and errors but even if we achieve below 2%, for us, that is NOT good enough because it still reflects defects and errors.  In a nutshell, it makes sense that RAISING THE BAR is embedded in one's life because very likely, in any endeavor you will pursue, RAISING THE BAR is a must💥💥💥

You Win Some, You Lose Some

You Win Some, You Lose Some

The battle in life is a long-drawn affair for us all, what with the relentless challenge upon challenges thrown at us,, day after day.  Yet, let's admit it, there are SUNNY MOMENTS in each day, or most days, which cause us to smile and feel blessed.   Yes,You Win Some, You Lose Some.  As we learned through all kinds of experiences in life, as LIFE is like rolling UP and DOWN all kinds of hills and mountains, we got to be TEACHABLE because the terrains vary and differ📗📘📙

And I've seen it with my naked eyes HOW some people would WIN, some would LOSE and bounce back from such LOSSES and some WHO are never able to recover at all.  WHAT's the difference then?  I read it right from respected American author John Maxwell that the difference lies in HUMILITY.  You might get confused, WHAT is it in HUMILITY that it becomes the factor WHEN one ends up to swim OR sink💎💎💎

WHAT HUMILITY does for you, it gives you perspective.  HUMILITY does NOT mean that you think less of you.  BUT instead, it means you think of yourself less.  And it will allow you to look at the bigger picture.  And besides, as HUMILITY enables you to admit a mistake, it is from there WHERE you can learn and grow.  And it allows you then to let go of perfectionism💧💧💧

So, WHAT explains why for some to LOSE [or FAIL], yet they DON'T struggle to recover back from that LOSE?  Experts have a curt reply.  WHEN we accept that life is HARD, we will grow with life itself.  This explains why successful people DON'T shy away from difficulties.  Instead, they learn to face them and move ahead in spite of those difficulties❎❎❎

Our takeaway?  Let's consider this perspective wherein instead of fearing difficulties, we welcome it as a TEST of character and use them to rise to the occasion.  I remember this hard-punching one-liner: "EITHER YOU DEAL WITH WHAT IS REALITY OR YOU CAN BE SURE THAT THE REALITY IS GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU".  In brief, facing reality and accepting the problem will NOT conquer it BUT it is the very first step to overcoming it.  And experts do encourage us to realistically rate the performance independently of WHETHER you WIN or LOSE.  And life is definitely harder for those WHO stop growing and learning.  So, whether we WIN SOME or LOSE SOME, let's take both as part of our journey!!!

GUESS HOW MUCH?

GUESS HOW MUCH?

Awhile ago, I passed behind my wife who was scrolling her FB and what caught me was what she was watching that time, American actor/comedian Jimmy O Yang said his mom's fav catch phrase was: GUESS HOW MUCH?  And threw me up with a long list of GUESS HOW MUCH questions. LIKE, GUESS HOW MUCH have you gone so far?  GUESS HOW MUCH you have been of value to your loved ones?  GUESS HOW MUCH are you deemed successful to date?  GUESS HOW MUCH more you need to change anything within yourself?  GUESS HOW MUCH have you realized if you have hit the ceiling of WHAT goals you pre-set?  GUESS HOW MUCH you have been of help not just to your loved ones BUT to your colleagues either in your business OR workplace

You might wonder, at WHAT point in your life should you rattle off with yourself this bunch of GUESS HOW MUCH questions?  My curt advice.  As soon as you graduate from college/university OR as soon as you finish up schooling.  WHY?  This will be part of your optional CHECKPOINTS in life.  BUT if you ask me, I WON'T tag this as OPTIONAL but instead MANDATORY.  WHY?  This is for you.  WHY scrimp on time & effort to CHECKPOINT yourself?

Frankly, I did ask myself this GUESS HOW MUCH question at every CHECKPOINT in my life and if I have to rewind my life, surely I'll go through that CHECKPOINT cycle over again because it gave me tons and tons of benefits.  As a post mortem from those GUESS HOW MUCH questions, I was able to have the following realizations:

• WHAT steps I embarked which are missteps that need to be corrected and rectified
• HOW did I handle doing some steps where the impact to either my loved ones or colleagues could have been contained
• WHEN did I take certain steps where I could have improved things with a better timing
• WHERE could I have done things much better

The thing is, let's apply INVERSION THINKING here.  WHAT IF I DIDN'T tweak and tune the things I was doing?  WHAT IF I DIDN'T realize my shortfalls and miscues then? WHAT IF I DIDN'T recognize my imperfections at that time WHAT IF I DIDN'T agree that there are improvement areas 

WHAT IF I DIDN'T realize that there are realizations in life

WHAT IF I DIDN'T acknowledge the need to correct myself

WHAT IF I DIDN'T exert efforts to correct my imperfections

WHAT IF I DIDN'T accept a need to run checkpoint like this

WHAT IF I DIDN'T believe that nothing is cast in stone

WHAT IF I DIDN'T become receptive to changes 

Our takeaway?  Yes, in our lives, NOTHING is really cast in stone.  Regardless of your best intentions combined with your capability, there will be tweaks and tunings that will improve your lot along the way.  The worst thing is for one to resist [and I'd like to call it, to be damn STUBBORN] from all these compelling reasons to CHECKPOINT oneself from time to time and ask, GUESS HOW MUCH❓❓❓

Is Paying Attention A Challenge?

Is Paying Attention A Challenge?

Aristotle, the great Greek philosopher was once quoted 'PLEASURABLE ACTIVITIES TEND TO DESTROY THE UNPLEASURABLE'.  Let's have a classic example.  If my pleasure are NETFLIX movies, even if I'm washing the dishes, that washing will ground to a halt once the NETFLIX movie starts.  Now, there seems to be a mix-up between ATTENTION versus INTEREST.  WHILE INTEREST is ATTENTION that is given to OR received from someone OR something while ATTENTION is no more no less than MENTAL FOCUS.  And are we aware and cognizant that once we get into MULTI-TASKING, that is a direct result of a LACK OF FOCUS?  And if our situation is NOT complex enough, as we are bombarded with an overload and overdose of information, that pushes us to further compromise FOCUS with all the distraction and worsening unmanageability.  So, the question worth asking: Is Paying Attention A Challenge❔❔❔

Experts confirm that at some points in our life, one's mental FOCUS may give way to someone OR something that is of interest.  ATTENTION remains there BUT the object of the ATTENTION has shifted from one object to another.  WHICH brings both my feet on the ground when I recall when sometimes, a task can be boring, tedious OR worst, meaningless and thus less pleasurable, WHAT happens next is we tend to look for an alternative📗📙📘

WHAT happens next, we might label that experience as too hard OR even frustrating OR worst, stressful.  However, WHAT we are really doing is leaving something OR someone WHO is less interesting for someone OR something that may become more interesting.  WHAT happens next is that our ATTENTION remains there BUT it has shifted from Point A to Point B.  One thing that flummoxed me is HOW does MULTI-TASKING  really affect ATTENTION?  For one, part of the constant shifting of preferences has led to an inability to focus on one thing at a time.  MULTI-TASKING can even result in time wasted due to human context switching and becoming more prone to errors and mistakes.  Oh, that sounds familiar.  WHAT causes those errors?  Blame it to the insufficient ATTENTION when it is harder to give ATTENTION💦💦💦

MULTI-TASKING also has been shown to lead to higher levels of distractibility, which comprises one's focus even more.  Strangely, experts reveal out of their researches that MULTI-TASKING has been proven to slow down task completion.  And as a result, most studies on MULTI-TASKING have demonstrated that MULTI-TASKING is NOT that efficient and will create OR lead to DISTRACTIONS that will eventually NEGATIVELY affect one's ability to focus.  Sadly, MULTI-TASKING has grown more popular as a direct result of the busy lives we lead through📌📌📌

Our takeaway?  MULTI-TASKING is an attempt to try and catch up to all that has been left undone.  Sounds solidly convincing?  Me things that that argument is quite water-tight enough.  Now, do we want to pass the buck?  Yesirrr, can we blame things on the INFORMATION OVERLOAD that seems to be like an avalanche in a harsh winter.  Looping into Aristotle, the Greek Philosopher WHO espoused that as humans, we are primed to move from WHAT we find as unpleasurable to something more pleasurable.  This does, however, set us up to be attracted to our DISTRACTIONS.  Ultimately, WHEN interest displaces our ATTENTION more often, our ATTENTION span shrinks.  So, IS PAYING ATTENTION A CHALLENGE?  Absolutely dude💧💧💧

We CAN'T Have The Cake & Eat It Too

We CAN'T Have The Cake & Eat It Too

Does HAPPINESS just HAPPENS?  No sirrrrrs. It is achieved.  It is NOT something you're born with OR given OR bequeathed.  So, you might challenge me, 'How can HAPPINESS HAPPEN?' It is something we acquire through hard work.  You could be born with a bright and sunny personality [WHICH obviously makes it easier to feel OR be HAPPY] BUT nevertheless, it is something, you got to work at and consistently exert your effort. We CAN'T Have The Cake & Eat It Too.  So, HOW?  HOW do we achieve our HAPPINESS?  NOT to scare everyone BUT the truth is, it is NOT that simple.  For any adult, one has to strategize to help yourself to attain it.  BUT for that to HAPPEN, you must first see things and yourself as they really are and be prepared to make changes WHERE necessary📘📙📗

In life, we keep hearing "YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO" and WHAT it means is that essentially, in life, there are two options [outliers will give you more than that] and you must CHOOSE ONE.  More than just being a riddle OR a proverb, this is a WAKEUP CALL for us against making rash OR hasty decisions in life.  Because at the end of it, there will be consequences you will face.  Once you've gobbled up that cake down, be aware that the cake is NO longer going to be there to eat later.  So, if we CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE and EAT IT TOO, then WHAT do we do???

Now, if HAPPINESS is an issue, you'll be surprised to hear that recent studies show that people in their sixties, seventies and above are living much happier lives as compared to those in their twenties and even thirty-somethings?  So in our pursuit of HAPPINESS, we have to remember that HAPPINESS is NOT something we were born with OR given.  We have to ACHIEVE it.  So, HOW?  WHY DON'T we step back and truly examine our respective lives.  Do you feel calm, confident and contented?  BTW, experts say that these are the BUILDING BLOCKS for HAPPINESS💧💧💧

Back to our CAKE  which we want to eat it too, this brings us back to the paradox of PASSION, which leads us to that confusion between WANTING versus HAVING.  And setting aside semantics, WANTING and HAVING are indeed tagged as RIVALS or conflicting because while sometimes they work together, often times, WANTING and HAVING will be butting heads and forcing us to choose one OR the other.  But clearly, let's agree that both HAVE and WANT are desirable states.  WHEN we HAVE something, it comes with security, control, predictability and satisfaction.  Let us admit it, many of us seek to be satisfied.  On the other hand, WANT is that anticipation, desire, motivation, and pleasure.  WHEN we get WHAT we WANT, we experience something close to HAPPINESS.  Yes, many of us desire to be HAPPY💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  WHEN you want something, it reinforces the fact that you DON'T have it.  And WHEN you have something and are satisfied with it, you may NO longer want it.  Let's look back at real-life situations.  Once WHEN you were hungry, you likely WANTED food.  Your mind began to summon up images of your favorite meal as you considered WHAT you might eat.  As that WANTING for food increases and accelerates, so too does your desire and motivation to seek out a delicious meal.  And WHEN you get your favorite meal and eat it, WHAT happens?  Once you NO longer want to eat, that feeling of satisfaction turns next to WANT something NEXT again, and the vicious cycle loops all over again.  So dude, WE CAN'T HAVE THE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!@#$%?

Are ROUGH Patches The Beginning Of The END?

Are ROUGH Patches The Beginning Of The END?

Are ROUGH Patches The Beginning Of The END? Now, consider this hypothetical example.  You and your partner/spouse are in a tough place.   You have a hard time feeling connected and DON'T feel connected.  You worry if this is the BEGINNING OF THE END of the relationship.  You fantasize about WHAT life might be like starting over, being single, and WHAT dating someone new might be like.  Maybe you even started searching for legal advice for divorce???

Many couples do experience similar situations and come out stronger, MORE connected, and MORE in love than ever before.  Oh Oh, that statement may sound too idealistic OR even unimaginable IF you are experiencing a ROUGH PATH in your relationship.  It can happen, though, and it takes work [and tons and tons of effort].  There is NO sugar-coating in those kinds of situations.  Eventually, you will have to make the decision that the relationship is worth being IN and working ON.  If so, you got to commit to rolling up your sleeves and doing your part💎💎💎

So, HOW do we go about that kind of a crisis that looks unresolvable?  Primero, OWN YOUR PART.  Recognize your role in HOW the two of you got to this place in your relationship.  There will always be that 'WE' stuff that impacts every relationship BUT here's a word of caution, there is also always a "ME" stuff in that equation at hand.  You then decide if you are willing to do some personal inventory on the internal work that you need to tackle💦💦💦

Do you need to CHANGE your attitude about your partner/spouse and allow yourself to notice the good things they do?  Can you find something you appreciate about your partner/spouse and let them know?  OR you may need to forgive OR accept some things you cannot CHANGE about your partner/spouse to open up your own mindset?  There may be WORK that you do that allows you to hold your partner/spouse in a POSITIVE perspective again, if that puts your relationship back on track💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  Regardless of the mile-long rough patches that characterizes your ordeal, remember that farther down the road, the roads are PAVED and SMOOTH and who knows, at that point, you will restore again that FUN.  As experts opine, great relationships need tending.  Shared POSITIVE experiences lead to shared POSITIVE emotions.  And if you DON'T invest in quality time with each other, DON'T be surprised WHEN you start to view your spouse as a 'business partner' that you are in the 'business' of being in a relationship with.  So, DON'T miss out to 'reframe ' the situation because rough patches usually represent the consequences from a time when the relationship WASN'T a priority.  So, ARE ROUGH PATCHES THE BEGINNING OF THE END?  NO, NEIN, NADA❗❗❗

Running On EMPTY?

Running On EMPTY?

Just like a battery's power will eventually drain and conk out, humans can only keep up a go-go-go pace for so long, NOT so long and NOT so far in fact.  Add to it stress and the daily grind of a busy life will catch up to you.  And IF you're NOT careful, this can even lead to illness .  This state can also make you even irritable and NOT very fun to be around with.  You also probably WON'T be all that productive, despite feeling like all you do is work.  It is really imperative for you to take the time to recharge those internal batteries way before things will worsend and you even reach that scary point when you're  Running On EMPTY❓❓❓

Now, before we deep-dive into this, let's figure out as to WHAT DOES NOT WORK [at all], and I guess you're familiar enough with those narratives WHEN and WHERE people turn to alcohol after a long, hard day.  While drinking in moderation ISN'T always a terrible thing, it is NOT the best way to try to RECHARGE.  In fact, drinking too much will only compound the issue at hand.  A hangover is only going to make you feel worse, trust me.  Then you probably thought that taking a vacation is the solution to all your problems?  After all, WHAT better way is there to RECHARGE than taking some time off?  It's true that a vacation can be a good way to refuel BUT to rely on vacations as the sole way to keep your internal battery running strong is NOT the best solution, frankly📌📌📌

I've been through all those vicious cycles.  I've approved vacation leave applications after my team member confided that he's going off for a well-deserved holiday.  And I wished he'll enjoy it.  NOW, believe me, many times, on the very business day that employee should be back to work from his vacation, he calls SICK.  Whether it was true OR not, let's agree that vacations drain you, in fact.  Ironically, you end up going back to work more exhausted.  So you end up calling SICK!@#$%?

Instead, experts recommend 'mini-vacations'  and that means, even spending those mini respites even within the city, within the metro, even in 'staycations'.  BUT before we get dragged into this dilemma, there are simple life hacks shared by experts, offering modest ways for us to RECHARGE.  This saves us enormous time to plot and plan itineraries cutting across weeks where your energy ends up zapped❎❎❎

• ENJOY NATURE.  Explore those small patches of greens around you.  DON'T go too far
• TAKE A TECH DETOX.  That constant presence of technology in our lives is often compounding our stress.   Try reading/writing while on DETOX
• EXERCISE, MEDITATE.  Either way, it may sound counterintuitive BUT one of the best ways to boost your energy is to expend some in a workout [even that means MORNING WALKS]