When The SIZZLE FIZZLES Out

When The SIZZLE FIZZLES Out

WHY is there so much EXCITEMENT at the start?  WHY are we oozing with ENTHUSIASM at the start?  WHY is our energy level at its peak at the start?  When The SIZZLE FIZZLES Out, what triggers the SIZZLE to FIZZLE Out? Frankly, there's a zillion of reasons why The SIZZLE FIZZLES Out📌📌📌

Look no farther from this world map as it shows that divorce rates are high across the Americas and Europe.  But that is just one dimension when The SIZZLE FIZZLES Out,    But this encroaches our daily lives, even when we're still in a school, OR at the workplace OR in our entrepreneurial initiatives.  So, we need to figure out, WHY are we suffering from a lack of ENTHUSIASM?  OR are we facing difficulty to MOTIVATE ourselves?  OR are we struggling to rekindle that fervor to achieve something❓❓❓

The harsh reality in our lives is that when MOTIVATION is lacking, you become PASSIVE, unhappy and you end up staying or remaining in that same situation without making progress.  So, this should be non-debatable that we should change a situation that seemingly hits the wall⏳⏳⏳

What we CANNOT ignore is that both MOTIVATION + ENTHUSIASM are the driving forces that trigger us to take actions towards achieving our goals.  What is most FRUSTRATING is when you a goal to accomplish but you just CAN'T awaken enough of your DESIRE and MOTIVATION to take action❗❗❗

Now let's rattle off the most common ROOT CAUSES that we must attack [and FIX].  A WEAK DESIRE.  LAZINESS.  SHYNESS.  LACK of BELIEF.  ABSENCE OF SELF-ESTEEM.  LACK of SELF-CONFIDENCE.  NEGATIVE THINKING and worst of all, that NEGATIVE SELF TALK.  BTW, let us NOT blame others when we lack either that ENTHUSIASM or MOTIVATION.  Bottom line is, when the SIZZLE FIZZLES OUT, you got to figure out the root cause if only to extricate yourself from that deep trench in life✅✅✅

Is Cyberbullying An Issue Now?

Is Cyberbullying An Issue Now?

Is Cyberbullying An Issue Now?  Very much it is.  And this chart says it all.  79% of Cyberbullying is happening between Facebook and Instagram.  We can even close our eyes with the rest of the social media platforms like Twitter and YouTube but this statistical data should raise alarms no less because the segment of society who is most impacted by Cyberbullying are the young lives.  And if do a random sampling of statistical data, the numbers will send out shivers no less💎💎💎

Separate studies in the United States and Singapore have found that almost half of respondents in these countries have experienced Cyberbullying.  But the bigger concern here is that this Cyberbullying problem could be under-reported as many youths tend to SUFFER IN SILENCE.  Experts opined that victims should turn to a trusted adult for help while parents need to take more preemptive measures📌📌📌

Now, let's pull the bull by its horns and face head-on what Cyberbullying really is.  IT IS bullying with the use of digital technologies.  IT IS taking place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and yes, even on smart phones.  IT IS repeated behavior aimed at scaring, angering OR shaming those targeted.  And the real-life testimonials are scary⏳⏳⏳

Cyberbullying is spreading lies about OR posting embarassing photos or videos of someone on social media.  Cyberbullying is sending hurtful, abusive or threatening messages, images or videos via messaging platforms.  Cyberbullying is impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf or through spurious or fake accounts✅✅✅

Cyberbullying can even happen in parallel with face-to-face bullying but the biggest challenge confronting us all is that Cyberbullying leaves a digital footprint. This nightmare worsens when we consider the fact that Cyberbullying is happening even across online gaming communities and online forums, message boards such as Reddit.  What's our FIX now?  When you perceive someone within your family is going through Cyberbullying, LITERALLY CLAMP down on the connectivity.  Move that person on a hiatus but be convincing enough that this is for his own interest❗❗❗

Are You Parachute-ready?

Are You Parachute-ready?

No sirrrrrrrrrrrs, our thread today is NOT about skydiving and the like.  Instead, it's to ask you if Are You Parachute-ready? In life no one will bother to ask Are You Parachute-ready since more often than not, human nature tells us that to talk about PARACHUTES IN LIFE is nonsense, because it's all a figment of one's imagination.  Oh really?  Much as we should be brimming with optimism, it should not be misplaced just NOT to be pessimistic💎💎💎

Bluntly, 'PARACHUTES' are what we need in life, when we are embroiled with problems, when we are zapped by failures, when we get hit with tragic things NOT least expected, when suddenly a tightly-knit marriage ends in divorce.  We can go on and on, the list of bad tidings can go on and on.  And it's infinity because we DON'T see any visible end to those unexpected turn of events that is way beyond our control📌📌📌

Very much akin to parachutists, in life, we got to fully prepare ourselves the worst possible scenarios, sometimes some scenarios are damn so scary and dreadful.  When our family goes to our annual overseas holidays [not until that pandemic stalled us all at home], I prepared for all possible WHAT IF scenarios.  WHAT IF I lose my wallet, my $$$$$, my credit cards.  Within myself, my WHAT IF scenarios included WHAT IF either my septuagenarian father-in-law falls when we are on holiday overseas⏳⏳⏳

Thanks to our ancient ancestors, our brains are designed to expect the WORST.   When early humans wandering our planet Earth, underestimating what was around the corner [or in those bushes and forest] could be deadly and dreadful.  That explains why the primitive parts of our brains take a 'BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY' approach to those uncertainties, both big and small✅✅✅

Fast-forward today, it might be easier to think of it this way:  our brain is like a smoke detector.  So in our daily life, uncertainties are like smoke.  Your job is to figure out whether the problem is burnt toast, a house on fire, or just a false alarm, then we'll respond accordingly.  In the simplest terms, we all should be prepared for the gloomy days, for the heavy downpours, for the worst things that can turn out its ugly head.  ARE YOU PARACHUTE-READY❓❓❓

That 'Bandwagon Effect'

That 'Bandwagon Effect'

Supposedly, That 'Bandwagon Effect' is NOT worth as our 'talking point' today but what eggs me to bring this on the table today is because it is a two-edged sword that can go either way, depending on the circumstances and its context.  But before meandering into That 'Bandwagon Effect', let's agree on this Webster definition that it 'refers to our habit of adopting behaviors or beliefs because many other people are doing or practicing the same thing💎💎💎

Let's NOT look farther than in sports, politics and marketing.  When the NBA Golden State Warriors [GSW] kept winning, you would see people [including those you hardly know] wearing GSW jerseys and during games with TV telecast, over at the pub or restaurant, the TV is tuned to the GSW games where you see the pub clients swarming all over the place during GSW games⏳⏳⏳

Prior to the pandemic, we witnessed long queues at the cinema for box-office hits.  At the shopping mall, we would see customers swarming a place where it is filled [and sometimes overflowing up to the rafters].  For smokers, when vape was launched in the market, we all know how it got its captive market📌📌📌

In brief, that BANDWAGON EFFECT can extend beyond sports, politics and marketing.  It can affect all sorts of decisions we make in our lives.  The primary worry is that it can override the individual CRITICAL THINKING that often goes into making good and informed decisions. Decisions that benefit many other people do NOT always benefit us.  Consider going to the university.  While it's ideal, it's NOT the best option for all✅✅✅

What's left often forgotten is that ROAD LESS TRAVELLED.  A ;ack of individual CRITICAL THINKING can have particularly damaging implications when it becomes widespread. At the height of the pandemic, people who joined the ANTI-VACCINATION Movement become less likely to have their children regularly immunized.  History is also littered with dangerous populist movements driven by snowballing effects.  Unless you are on the right side, be wary of that BANDWAGON EFFECT❗❗❗

Bent But Not Broken

Bent But Not Broken

As much as we all live in a very imperfect world, many of us are still caught up with the fallacy that we can still live in a perfect world.  NOT shaken.  NOT threatened.  NOT frightened.  NOT scolded.  NOT lost.  NOT falling ill.  NOT running out of money and we can go on and on.  BUT hey, it is fine to be Bent But Not Broken💎💎💎

Oh, isn't this easier said than done?  Absolutely.  BUT in real life, there's enough elbow room for us to wiggle out.  HOW?  First off, DON'T allow your emotions to get in your way.  You should NOT wear your EMOTIONS on your sleeves.  We should NOT even yell or get overly animated when TIMES GET TOUGH.  Let's endeavor to have that EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL that even our body language would NOT give us away.  Otherwise, when we allow our emotions to get in the way, it could be interpreted as a sign that we are NOT being objective enough and too passionate about the situation at hand✅✅✅

You're bent?  That's fine.  You'll be fine but DON'T take things too personally.  Decisions and circumstances DON'T always play out logically because of human dynamics that factor into a situation.  It becomes imperative that we remain CALM and let us NOT be defensive or think that we always need to justify our thinking and actions.  Otherwise, even a slight bend will worsen⏳⏳⏳

If there is something where we need to invest, it is to develop that FORTITUDE, that positive mental attitude.  If you're a parent, children will always watch your actions, behavior and overall demeanor.  In your most difficult times, we need to maintain that positive mental attitude and manage a narrative that keeps our children inspired and hopeful.  A positive attitude can neutralize CHAOS and allow us to course correct through the negativity.  Keeping that positive mental attitude and never stopping to move forward would go a long way to ensure that you may be BENT BUT NOT BROKEN✅✅✅

To quote the famous and respective Indian nationalist Mahatma Gandhi, 'STRENGTH DOES NOT COME FROM PHYSICAL CAPACITY.  IT COMES FROM INDOMINATBLE WILL'.  Our realization should be on comparing the efforts between starting back from ground zero versus standing up and picking up the pieces.  For sales folks, it's a no-brainer to convince them that the costs to maintain an existing client is significantly much lower compared to the costs entailed to acquire a new client.  Even if we get bent a hundred times, as long as our backbone and resolve does not waiver, then we'll survive with our heads up high❗❗❗

Composure Amid Chaos

Composure Amid Chaos

Ive got NO intentions to sound like Nostradamus, the French astrologer most famous for his book of prophesies but let's admit it, in life, CHAOS is another harsh reality we got to face.  But hey, do you agree  Composure Amid Chaos is our antidote to such a dilemma?  Whether you are a leader in the workplace or one of the team members.  Whether you are a parent or a entrepreneur, got to have composure💊💊💊

When I was working on a year-long project in India, I was working with a colleague who lacked COMPOSURE and seemed to be always in a state of panic.  Though he had tremendous credentials, he lacked the ability to remain calm and thus often made his colleagues feel uneasy with him.  And since he was holding a leadership role, that role seemed too big for what he was capable of handling.  He was often too dramatic and the smallest of problems launched him into a crisis management mode, whew💎💎💎

Needless to say, his wasn't an effective leadership that could deal with real crisis and change.  Because he was unable to REINVENT himself and adapt to the unexpected, his tenure at that workplace was short-lived, much shorter than the span of my short-term project there.  In this 21st century, we need to see through the LENS of OPPORTUNITY.  Instead of getting into a PANIC state, we need to develop that COMPOSURE by taking a step back and begin to CONNECT THE DOTS of opportunity even in adverse circumstances❗❗❗

Developing those traits can lead us to quickly detect causes of adversity and solve such challenges immediately.  That would  then enable us to opportunities previously unseen that could have avoided the adversity in the first place.  Over and over again, I have witnessed numerous times when and where a crisis results because COMPOSURE was lacking or missing📌📌📌

The next time around you stumble on a problem, ask yourself if you could have shown a greater sense of COMPOSURE to have avoided such a problem from surfacing.  If you are a parent or a leader at the workplace, you must AVOID showing signs of leadership immaturity or lack of preparedness that will lead to the people around you to miss out on having that COMPOSURE AMID CHAOS✅✅✅

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments.  Yesirrrrrs, I hope this is non-debatable.  Recall back your past failures in life that sent shockwaves deep within you, those moments when you thought the whole roof was about to crumble down, pinning you deep down.  Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra recalls this back when one foot was 'in the grave' when they lost the first NBA Play-in game against Atlanta Hawks and when the Miami Heat team was in the cusp of bidding adieu to the 2023 Season in their final Play-In game against the Chicago Bulls until Miami Heat, behind star player Jimmy Butler, triggered a 15-1 run that ultimately led to the last nail on the coffin for the Chicago Bulls.  As Miami Heat prepares for the Eastern Conference Finals, Spoelstra looks back at that heartbreaking loss to the Atlanta Hawks that pushed them against the wall.  Fast forward, they are now NBA's Top 4, four wins away from the 2023 NBA Championship Finals💎💎💎

Coach Erik Spoelstra summarized in three words their journey from DESPERATION to PERSPIRATION to REJUVENATION.  From an imminent early exit from the NBA regular season, to CLAWING BACK to inject life in the 'dying moments' until overcoming solid iine-ups from the Milwaukee  Bucks and New York Knicks, the Miami Heat is now about to face [for the second straight year] the Boston Celtics in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.  Talking about those TOUGHEST MOMENTS that lead to the MOST INSPIRING MOMENTS📌📌📌

Who doesn't want an EASY life?  But hey do you agree that the best way to prepare us for the hardest grind is for us to go through the gauntlet, that acid test of life?  As a personal testament, i have to admit that I did go through the worst challenges in life [and at one point I was residing in a foreign country] but with sheer determination, i did hurdle those near-fatal humps⏳⏳⏳

Studies have shown over and over again that the more tangible a threat is, the MORE resilient we become.  In fact, it is MORE frightening and damaging to the psyche to downplay tough OR dark realities OR to pretend that they DON'T exist because then we allow our imaginations to 'run riot' [and who knows what kind of demons we can conjure in our mind's eye.  Instead of downplaying the REALITY, tell it to us straight.  Just DON'T rush back to normal in an effort to assuage our fear.  Instead, let us endeavor to describe in detail what the THREAT actually is.  Show us up close and personal what REAL-WORLD changes will have to make in our lives and tell us the truth about how these changes are designed to protect us✅✅✅

Experts even recommend that we START AT THE END AND WORK BACKWARDS.  What this means, crystallize your goal and once you're focused, work backwards from it❗❗❗

Coping With Loneliness, Anyone?

Coping With Loneliness, Anyone?

LONELINESS?  Such a boring thread today you might blurt.  Let me share an extract from the www.statista.com fact sheet:  In the NOV 2022 global survey, 33% [that is 33%, whew❗❗❗] of adults experience feelings of LONELINESS.  So, let's agree that indeed LONELINESS is impacting our global village.  So, it makes sense that today, our thread will be about Coping With Loneliness💎💎💎
 

BTW, this prevalence of this LONELINESS dilemma should NOT be attributed to the recent pandemic, NOT at all because in fact and in truth, these numbers tapered off during the pandemic [when we were all locked-out at home together with our families].  So, no thanks to the pandemic, LONELINESS is a legitimate issue we need to look deeper.  The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. VIVEK MURTHY stated that this pervasive dilemma in the U.S. where MORE THAN HALF of Americans are lonely [inclusive of young adults]⏳⏳⏳

Not to unduly blow-out this dilemma because majority of us still live within the urban and metropolitan suburbs but this is the ugly head rearing behind us.  Factor-in social media and we end up with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde problem because social media goes either way.  Lo and behold, for those wired and connected, they can proclaim 'I CAN LIVE WITH IT' but for the isolated ones, it's kind of pushing them deeper in those trenches📌📌📌

So, regardless whether you're out there in the countryside or within urban areas, we're all in the same boat, dude.  What's our FIX?  First of, RECONNECT.  It's true social media can be toxic BUT hey, you DON'T need to get 'toxicated' right?  If a classmate or teacher from way back sends an FB Friend Request, give it a serious thought [of course you must ASSESS + VALIDATE a request].  Next, let us try to be LESS DISTRACTED.  How often do you look at your phone when someone speaks with you?  For QUALITY, focus on the conversation, give justice where it's due✅✅✅

Hey, while we're egging you to reconnect via social media, do SCALE BACK on social media because Virtual connection is NOT a replacement for IN-PERSON TIME [except if your BFF is 10,000 miles away].  Dr. Murthy says IN-PERSON TIME helps us understand others via the tone of their voice and read their body language.  C'mon, LET'S DO IT,  DON'T belittle LONELINESS❗❗❗

IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

Are you stuck looking at yourself across the mirror?  Not literally though but from a SELF-JUDGMENT context?  But not to dampen us, psychologists advise that if you have DOUBTS on yourself, you're NOT alone.  In fact, a plurality of us do get into these SELF-DOUBTS from time to time.  Experts tag those moments of our SELF-DOUBTS as "SELF-EVALUATIVE THOUGHTS" that rattle through our brain.  Whether it concerns our performance at work, some boiling turmoil' in our relationship with our spouse/partner or that unexpressed nervousness if we are capable to climb a 'steep' challenge we doubt but again, as psychologists say,  IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

All these are NOT our faults according to experts because long way back, humans had to compete with others for STATUS.  Comparing ourselves to others was then once a SURVIVAL SKILL.  And during those tribal ages, being 'EXILED' from one's tribe was a matter of LIFE and DEATH.  That explains why we humans ended up with that FEAR of REJECTION, until today

Humans are too hanged-up with so many WANTS.  WANT to get good grades.  WANT to have more monies.  WANT to be attractive.  WANT to be in the center of everything.  Just one too many WANTS

At times, we try to do everything we can to PROVE to ourselves and others that we are the VERY THINGS we want to see ourselves:  as GOOD, MONEYED, STRONG, ATTRACTIVE, INFLUENTIAL but again, things DON'T work that way.  Bluntly, it is actually our relentless trying to FEEL GOOD about ourselves that causes much of our distress.  Isn't that a gross irony?  When it is ourselves causing it❓❓❓

Researches have reconfirmed over and over again that people who pursue external rewards like FAME, POWER, WEALTH and BEAUTY to be popular are more anxious, depressed and discontent compared to those WHO are focused on personal growth, relationships and helping others.  When our goals are like that, we may find ourselves falling short all the time because there are always people doing better , so we end up feeling constantly judged,  So, c'mon dude, IT's OK NOT TO FEEL GOOD ENOUGH❗❗❗

Anxiety Anyone?

Anxiety Anyone?

Oh Oh Oh this seems a NON-NEWS to us, right ?  Once we raise up Anxiety as a topic, many will protest, that's NOT worth to be our thread.  But c'mon, we can flip things around so that Anxiety  may lead us to clues if only to improve and make our lives better.  We know for a fact that ANXIETY can feel like a heavyweight that we DIDN'T ask to carry in the first place.  Of course, WHO would NOT want to get rid of it. Anxiety Anyone❓❓❓

Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki points out that Anxiety is a natural human emotion, one that evolved to serve a purpose.  We feel anxious when there is some kind of danger as it seems to prime our body to FIGHT or FLEE from that danger, hoping that we'll end up BETTER off.  In the same way, our modern anxieties can be a warning signal for things that are wrong.  Not having enough rest, lots of multi-tasking, isolation from others.  Our anxious energy alerts us to change our lives for the better, according to Suzuki but sadly, majority of us [and that includes myself] are NOT aware of this proven premise💎💎💎

Apparently, if we simply approach it as something to AVOID, get RID of or dampen, we NOT only DON'T solve the problem but we end up actually missing an opportunity to leverage that hidden power of ANXIETY.  From an expert viewpoint of Suzuki, to do that, we first need to turn down the VOLUME of our ANXIETY so that we can listen to what it [our ANXIETY] has to say.  Now, it might help if we go back to the very basic definition of ANXIETY which is that FEELING of FEAR or worry typically associated with situations of uncertainty⏳⏳⏳

Apparently, GOOD ANXIETY comes with a better awareness that ANXIETY is protective, and going through all the exercises to allow us to take advantage of what ANXIETY originally evolved to do, which is, to put into action that will give us a better outcome📌📌📌

So what's our FIX?  Let us know the difference between GOOD versus BAD ANXIETY in our body.  Chronic anxiety and stress is VERY bad for all our systems in our bodies.  High levels of stress hormones can damage THEN KILL cells in our brain.  On the other hand, GOOD ANXIETY is that 'warning system' that helps put us into ACTION.  We heard about 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' versus the 'REST & DIGEST' part of our nervous system.  And that is what we need to activate to bring us back to equilibrium when stressed.  ANXIETY anyone?  Not for me, not for us✅✅✅